If you’re parenting in this era, you’re parenting against something we were never trained for: an always-on world. A world where your child can be reached, influenced, evaluated, and emotionally impacted at any hour—without ever leaving their room. Social media changed childhood, and the nervous system is still catching up.
This post is about what constant online pressure does to kids, what happens when trauma gets stuck in the body, and why healing often isn’t about thinking your way through—it’s about learning how to feel safe again.
A few years ago, I went to hear Dr. Margaret Wehrenberg, PhD speak—aka “Aunt Peggy.” She’s a specialist in anxiety and depression, and she’s also my good friend Amy’s aunt. I remember thinking it would just be an informative night—one of those “let me learn something and go home” kind of talks.
But what she spoke about stayed with me: how social media and smartphones are impacting kids, not just socially, but psychologically—how it can amplify anxiety in a nervous system that’s still learning what safety even feels like.
Then she mentioned something I’ve never forgotten. She talked about Monitoring the Future, a long-term national measurement that’s been tracking adolescent outcomes since 1975, including things like dropout rates, teen pregnancy, substance use, and mental health trends like anxiety. https://monitoringthefuture.org
And she said that for decades, the needle on anxiety barely moved.
Until around 2010.
That’s when it spiked—by something like 40%—right around the time social media became a normal part of daily life for kids.
I’ve also been reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, and it puts language and numbers to what so many parents have felt in their bones. He describes this shift as a “great rewiring” of childhood—from play-based to phone-based—and connects it to the sharp rise in youth anxiety and depression since 2010.
In that same window of time, rates of self-harm for young girls nearly tripled, and suicide rates for young adolescents increased by 167% from 2010 to 2021. (The Anxious Generation)
Haidt also points out something important: these effects aren’t always the same for everyone. In the book, he describes how social media tends to harm girls more through social comparison, perfectionism, and social pressure—fueling anxiety and depression—while boys are more likely to withdraw into virtual worlds, isolating themselves through gaming and online escapism. (The Anxious Generation)
And I need to say this part too, because it’s honest: I live with the regret that I gave my kids screens too soon.
I didn’t understand what we were dealing with. Most of us didn’t. We were told it was the future. We were told it was normal. We were told it was how the world worked now.
And when everyone around you is doing the same thing, it doesn’t feel like a decision with consequences… it just feels like parenting in the modern world.
But the truth is, we’re learning as we go.
And what’s wild is that even the people who helped build this world were cautious about it. Steve Jobs famously restricted his own children’s access to smartphones and tablets because he was worried about screen addiction, social skill development, and mental health.
That trend—tech leaders limiting their own kids’ exposure—wasn’t random. It reflected a desire to protect developing brains from addictive algorithms and constant stimulation.
When I Realized It Wasn’t Just “Teen Stuff”
Jason, my son, had a rough time online when he was thirteen. He got tangled up with people on the internet, and it turned into bullying.
What hit his nervous system wasn’t just what was happening online—it was what happened because of it.
The police showed up at our door.
It got serious enough that an adult called the police to check on him because they were worried he might hurt himself.
They were called out of concern, not punishment.
But when you’re a kid, your nervous system doesn’t understand nuance.
It only understands fear.
It only understands shame.
It only understands: something is happening and I’m not in control.
Looking back, I can see why it landed so hard. Because the online world kids live in now isn’t one our nervous systems were designed for—and sometimes it follows them into real life in the most terrifying ways.
And here’s the part I want to say out loud, because I know other parents might be carrying it too: I had no idea this was happening. I didn’t know how quickly it could turn, or how deeply it could get into a developing nervous system.
I had parental controls set. I monitored what games he downloaded and what apps he could access. I was paying attention. But where there’s a will, there’s a way—and kids can always find loopholes we didn’t even know existed.
I thought I was doing what most parents do—making sure he was home, making sure he was okay, relying on parental controls on his device, trusting that “quiet” meant everything was fine.
And I missed it.
The World Our Nervous Systems Didn’t Evolve For
Here’s another thing I can’t stop thinking about: it’s not normal for the human nervous system to have this much information, this much access, and this many people in our mental space who aren’t actually in our physical presence.
We were built for real-life proximity.
For tone. For facial expression. For context. For repair. For the natural limits of a day. For the boundaries of a neighborhood.
But online, those limits disappear.
Now you can be exposed to hundreds of opinions, hundreds of interactions, and hundreds of little hits of rejection or approval without ever leaving your room. People can make fake accounts. They can move sideways. They can watch without being seen.
They can say things behind a screen they would never say face-to-face. And when you’re still developing, your nervous system can’t always tell the difference between a real threat and a social threat.
It just registers it as danger.
Psychologically, it creates dissonance.
Because you’re living in two realities at once: what’s happening in your actual life, and what’s being said about you in a digital one. And that split alone can overload the system.
Social media is also private in a way most adults didn’t grow up with. A lot of what happens there is invisible. And because it’s invisible, kids will hold things in.
And even with parental controls on their accounts, kids can still find surreptitious ways around them. Not because they’re bad, but because they’re curious, because they’re social, and because the internet is built to pull them in.
So even the best controls in the world can’t replace something more powerful:
real connection, real check-ins, and paying attention to subtle shifts.
If you notice your child acting differently—withdrawn, irritable, unusually quiet, suddenly emotional, not sleeping, not eating, snapping more than normal—ask.
Even if you asked yesterday. Even if you asked this morning. Ask again.
It’s not just my kids. This is showing up in kids everywhere, in ways we didn’t grow up with. It’s not just happening in our home—this is a real part of parenting now. And so many of us are learning in real time what constant online pressure does to a developing nervous system.
If you’re a parent reading this and nodding quietly, I see you.
It’s so important to stay on top of it, because the truth is… it’s easy to miss. I’m guilty of it too. They’re on their phone doing their thing, the house is quiet, everything looks fine, and quiet can feel like peace.
But sometimes quiet is just what’s happening on the surface.
Underneath, something can be building.
Boundaries Aren’t Punishment, They’re Protection
And while I’m talking about kids here, I also want to say this: I have felt my own anxiety around social media.
I got off Facebook, even though that’s where most of my family and close friends share content. Around election time, I got off entirely. I miss seeing my memories and checking in with folks every now and again—but I also know what it does to my nervous system when I stay on too long.
On my Chefsteph Instagram page, I removed 7,500 people and narrowed it down to people I actually know, or at the furthest, friends of friends. I go offline to rest and restore. I recently made my account private because boundaries are important to me.
And I’m done accepting fake accounts or people coming at me sideways. If someone can’t show up honestly, I’m not accepting them.
Not just for my sake—who is this person, really, and why are they showing up behind a fake account?—but as a matter of principle.
Because I want to practice what I preach and teach my kids that we don’t invite unclear energy into our lives just because it knocks.
I’ve also started thinking about boundaries differently—not as punishment, but as nervous-system protection. A simple rule like two hours of screen time per day can make room for something kids desperately need:
their own life.
Because when the phone goes down, something else has to come up.
Reading a book
Going to the library
Family time
Puzzles (this one is so underrated)
Chores
Cooking
Going outside
Moving their body
Sitting in the same room together without everyone disappearing into a screen
Some way to find connection aside from the phone.
And honestly… sometimes it’s just being bored.
Boredom leads to creativity.
And we are not bored enough anymore. We want to fill every empty moment. But the brain reads all those scrolls and swipes as dopamine hits—tiny rewards that keep us reaching for more.
Over time, it can start rewiring the brain’s pathways, making real life feel dull, making quiet feel uncomfortable, making a normal day feel like it’s missing something.
And that alone can feed anxiety and depression.
And I think about all of this a lot, because I didn’t just hear it in a lecture.
I’ve watched it show up in my own home.
When Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body
My wish is that the person who was worried would’ve contacted me first and let me handle it privately with my son. I understand why they did what they did. I don’t question the concern.
I just wish the first step had been a conversation—because once the police are involved, a kid’s nervous system doesn’t file it under “help.” It files it under fear.
Here’s the part that breaks my heart as his mom:
Five years later… he’s still processing it. Afraid that any little thing he does is going to get him in trouble with the law.
He’s still running the loop.
And he’s not doing it because he’s dramatic. He’s doing it because his nervous system never finished that moment. So he keeps circling it from every angle, trying to settle it with reassurance.
He’s tried to find answers from people who feel like safety—police officers, attorneys, his parents, his therapist, his friends.
And it works… for a while.
Because talking through it can calm the mind. It can bring logic back online. It can make the story feel organized. It can give you the sense that you’re back in control.
But reassurance has a short shelf life when the pain is still lodged in the body.
Eventually, it rises again.
And that’s how you know the trauma isn’t resolved.
It’s just being managed.
Trauma Doesn’t Stay in One Place
This is what trauma does as you grow older when it isn’t fully processed:
It generalizes.
It stops being “that one thing that happened” and starts becoming the lens you see life through.
It can show up as:
Anxiety that doesn’t make sense on paper
Hypervigilance
Irritability
Shutdown
Trouble trusting people
Fear of being in trouble, even when you’ve done nothing wrong
The feeling that you have to prove you’re good
The constant question underneath everything: am I safe now?
And when you can’t get the feeling of safety to stick, you start reaching for substitutes.
Sometimes we don’t run to what’s healthy. We run to what’s familiar.
And familiar can feel like safety—not because it actually is, but because your body already knows the pattern.
Your nervous system hears “familiar” and thinks:
I know this terrain. I know the rules here. I’ve survived this before.
Even if it’s messy. Even if it isn’t good for you. Even if it keeps you stuck.
So familiar people can become a kind of nervous-system medication. They soothe you. They calm you down. They make the panic soften for a minute.
But they can also keep the loop running because they offer temporary relief without requiring the deeper thing:
feeling it all the way through.
The Hardest Part to Explain
The hardest part to explain is that it isn’t something you can think your way through.
You can understand the story intellectually and still have your body respond like you’re back in it.
Healing often means going back—not to relive it, but to finally process what never got processed in real time. It can be uncomfortable and it can be scary, but in the right setting, with the right people, it can be deeply therapeutic.
Because when those feelings finally move through, the nervous system gets the message it missed the first time:
you’re safe now.
Trauma Is Like a Splinter
I tried to explain it to my son like this:
Trauma is like getting a splinter.
At first, it hurts and you know it’s there. But digging it out hurts more, so you avoid it. You leave it alone. And eventually, it calluses over.
Sometimes the pain goes numb. Or you get used to it. It becomes part of your normal, and you stop questioning it.
You start to think: this is just who I am now. This is just how life feels.
But the truth is, it never fully heals if the splinter is still inside.
Healing means digging through the layers, feeling what you didn’t get to feel back then, and finally getting it out.
Because until it comes out, it will keep finding ways to hurt.
You Have to Feel It Through
Until he can go back to that day—not just in memory, but emotionally—and actually feel what his thirteen-year-old self felt…
he’ll keep circling it.
He’ll keep looking for safety in other people’s words. He’ll keep trying to talk it away. He’ll keep trying to logic his way out of something his body is still holding.
And I say this with so much love:
You can’t think your way into feeling safe. You have to feel your way there.
Why This Matters Right Now
Jason leaves for the Navy soon, and it matters to me more than I can even explain that he makes peace with this before he sails off.
Not because I think he’s broken. Not because he can’t handle hard things.
But because I want him to have a fresh start.
I want him to go into the world with a nervous system that knows how to come back to center. I want him to see the world through the eyes of safety and emotional regulation—not through the lens of “I’m in trouble,” “I’m not safe,” or “I’m about to get blindsided.”
The Navy is structure. It’s pressure. It’s new environments and new people and new intensity.
And I want him to meet all of that from a place inside himself that feels steady.
Not braced. Not waiting for the next hit. Just grounded.
Because when you make peace with what happened, you stop living inside it.
And you finally get to live from who you are now.
What I’m Doing Next: Somatic Therapy
This is why I’m working to find him a therapist who works with somatic release—somatic therapy.
Because I don’t think he needs more people helping him figure it out.
I think he needs help letting his body finally release what it’s been holding for five years.
Somatic therapy is different from only talking through the story.
A somatic therapist will still listen, of course—but the focus is on what’s happening inside your body while you’re talking.
Where do you feel it? What changes when you bring it up? Does your chest tighten? Does your stomach drop? Does your jaw clench?
Because trauma isn’t just a memory.
It’s survival energy that got stuck in place.
And the goal isn’t to relive it. The goal is to help the nervous system complete what it never got to complete—so the body can finally understand:
that was then. this is now. you’re safe.
Somatic work can look like noticing sensations, grounding, breathing, learning how to stay present in small pieces, and letting the body discharge what it couldn’t release back then—shaking, tears, deep exhales, warmth moving through the chest… all the things we’ve been taught to suppress.
Not dramatic. Not forced. Just real.
Because that loop of anxiety and reassurance-seeking isn’t weakness.
It’s a body that still believes it’s in danger.
And you don’t talk a body into safety.
You teach it.
Another Tool That Can Help: Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
His therapist diagnosed him with PTSD, and that diagnosis actually helped me make sense of the “loop” he’s been stuck in. Because PTSD doesn’t always look like what people think it looks like.
Sometimes it looks like overthinking.
Replaying.
Reassurance-seeking.
Hypervigilance.
Avoidance.
Shutting down.
Trying to control the outcome before anything bad can happen again.
One evidence-based therapy that’s often used to treat PTSD is Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT). CPT is a structured, 12-session form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) designed specifically to help people process trauma by identifying and challenging the beliefs that formed in the aftermath of it.
In other words: CPT helps you find the “stuck points.”
Those beliefs that get written into the nervous system like truth:
I’m not safe. I can’t trust people. If I’m not in control, something bad will happen. Something is wrong with me. I don’t deserve peace. I’m going to get blindsided again.
CPT helps people notice those beliefs, challenge them, and replace them with something truer and more stable. It’s not about pretending the trauma didn’t happen. It’s about updating the brain and body so they stop living like it’s still happening.
CPT also works through five core themes that trauma often damages:
Safety Trust Control Esteem Intimacy
And when you think about it, those five themes are exactly what gets distorted when a kid is scared, overwhelmed, and powerless in a moment they don’t understand.
This is why I’m taking his healing seriously now, before he leaves for the Navy.
Because I want him to walk into adulthood without carrying that day like a shadow behind him. I want him to be able to trust himself. Trust his instincts. Regulate his emotions. And live from a place that feels safe in his body.
Not just for his future.
For his peace.
If You Want a Place to Start
And if you’re reading this and you recognize your own child in any of these patterns, I want you to know you’re not alone. There are real, evidence-based ways to manage anxiety and trauma, and it’s never, ever too late to start healing.
If you want resources you can hold in your hands, I recommend three that are highly rated, easy to understand, and truly effective:
Some of my earliest food memories live alongside music. Some of my fondest food memories are tied to Shakedown Street.
Lot food. Real food.
Veggie burritos wrapped in foil and eaten wherever you landed. Coolers cracked open. Paper plates balanced on knees.
Food made by people feeding each other because that’s what the moment required.
This was vegan food for me before I had language for it.
Plant-based eating before it was curated, branded, or explained.
Food born of conscience, necessity, and community.
That way of eating shaped me as much as the music did.
Months ago, I made a grown-up version of what I once called my Garcia grilled cheese—an echo of those early influences, translated through time.
Sourdough ligthly toasted and brushed with black truffle oil.
Garden pesto piled high.
Heirloom tomatoes layered in.
Vegan feta melted until it was creamy and unapologetic.
Warm, nourishing in every way.
A simple thing, elevated, but still rooted in the same impulse: feed people well, because that’s what the moment asks for.
It came together the same way the lot food always did—intuitively, without performance.
Indulgent and grounding at the same time. A reminder that nourishment doesn’t have to be austere to be honest.
That grilled cheese was about presence. About pleasure without apology. About feeding the moment you’re standing in.
This Bobby Bowl is what I carry forward—a small offering, made while listening to Bobby and the boys.
It’s lighter. Cleaner. More alive.
It honors California food as I’ve always understood it—sun-fed, mineral, honest.
Greens that still taste like the earth.
Sprouts that are actively growing.
A bowl meant to be eaten barefoot, windows open, early light coming in.
This recipe isn’t about nostalgia.
It’s about continuity.
Because what we were being fed wasn’t only food.
The Harmony That Held Us
The last time I saw Bobby was at the Sphere in Las Vegas in 2024. It felt like coming home again—not to a place, but to a unifying frequency.
To an extended family bound by vision and a shared knowing that the world is alive with meaning, layered and shimmering, far more mysterious than we’re taught to believe.
I assumed there would be another show. Another tour. Another next time.
You don’t realize you’re standing inside a last moment. You just think you’ll see them again.
That weekend felt like a reunion in the truest sense.
Friends came in from all over the country—people I’d been bound to for decades, not because of proximity or nostalgia, but because of what the music represented.
We picked up right where we left off.
Because when a bond is formed around shared vision instead of circumstance, it doesn’t erode. It doesn’t require maintenance.
It simply is.
In 1990, my freshman year at Mizzou, there was a group of us who all landed on the Dead at the same time.
Looking back now, it feels less like something we discovered and more like something we were led toward.
It became everything we did—listening to music, hanging out, going to shows, and slowly learning how to look at the world through a different lens.
What started as music became a way of seeing.
A shared orientation.
A quiet agreement that there was more going on here than we’d been told, and that paying attention mattered.
That orientation felt familiar even then—like an inheritance.
It echoed the generation before us, the people of the 1960s who challenged authority, questioned consensus reality, and cracked open the idea that consciousness itself could expand.
The music carried that lineage forward.
Not as nostalgia for a past we hadn’t lived, but as a continuation of the same inquiry—translated into our own moment.
Psychedelics certainly played a role in that widening of perception.
They weren’t an escape so much as an opening—a way of loosening the grip of what we’d been told was fixed or unquestionable.
Around the same time, I was reading Ken Kesey, discovering meditation, and finding others who were asking the same kinds of questions.
The music, the books, the inner work, the community—they braided together.
The Grateful Dead connected me to a sense of Godliness in a way no church ever could.
It wasn’t about doctrine or rules—it was about direct experience—a feeling, a subtle knowing and recognition, a connection to joy, love, and a humbled reminder of our shared humanity.
A hug, and an I love you, man.
An I dont know you, friend, but I love you.
Strangers hugging strangers.
Whatever you want to call it—each of us names it differently, but the understanding is the same thing: the Source, the flow, the other side, the way, it’s always there; it just gets buried.
Their music helped clear a path back to it, not by telling us what to believe, but by reminding us how to listen and how to see it’s shining light in one another.
What emerged wasn’t just a taste in music. It was a way of standing in the world.
A shared understanding that reality is layered, that authority can be interrogated, that lived experience matters.
And within that, I found like-minded people—and a place that felt more like home than any physical place ever had.
What that world gave me wasn’t fantasy. It was learning how to see with clear eyes.
Not from idealism. Not from anger. But from something deeper—almost universal.
A truth that didn’t need convincing or defending. Something that would stay with me for life.
The music taught me to think outside the box—not because boxes are bad, but because most of them are inherited without question. It taught me to pause, look again, listen harder.
To notice who benefits from the rules and who gets left out by them.
That kind of awareness doesn’t make you louder.
It makes you steadier.
Almost overnight, penny loafers became Birkenstocks. Argyle sweaters gave way to tie-dyes. Not as costume—never as costume—but as a shedding.
A declaration.
I never looked back because there was nothing honest to return to.
In the summer of 1991, my dad spent a few months in San Francisco. While he was there, he sent me a tie-dyed postcard from Haight-Ashbury.
By the time I saw the Grateful Dead live that fall—1991, at the Cleveland Coliseum—we’d already shared something that didn’t need explaining.
It was a cool connection to have with my father.
A quiet exchange, young and old, reminding each other what it’s all about.
The postcard had a quote from The Doors on it:
I awoke with the dawn, and put my boots on. I took a face from the ancient gallery and walked on down the hall.
The West is the best. See you in September.
Love, Dad.
It didn’t feel like advice. Or persuasion. Or a lesson.
It felt like recognition.
Like we were meeting each other in the same place from different points on the road.
Seeing the Dead live didn’t start anything. It confirmed what I already knew.
I wasn’t getting off that bus.
What About Bob?
There was something about Bob Weir that always felt steady.
Not flashy. Not transcendent in a way that left the body behind.
He stayed here. In the song. In the rhythm. In the long arc of the work.
He held the middle.
While others burned bright or fell away, Bobby kept showing up—barefoot, weathered, present. He didn’t abandon the experiment when it got hard or when time took its toll.
He kept walking it forward, letting the music age, letting himself age with it.
There was wisdom in that. A kind of faithfulness that didn’t need explaining.
What the Grateful Dead offered wasn’t escape.
It was orientation.
A way to stand inside uncertainty without needing to dominate it.
A way to listen—really listen—to each other, to the moment, to what was trying to emerge.
Bobby carried that forward long after many others were gone.
He kept the door open.
That’s why this loss feels different.
Not because the music stops—it doesn’t. But because one of the living anchors is gone.
And still, what he embodied remains.
In the songs. In the way we gather. In the way we feed each other.
In bowls of food passed across tables. In memories that don’t fade but deepen.
This recipe, this writing, this act of attention—it’s all part of that same lineage.
Not trying to hold on. Not trying to recreate. Just continuing.
Because nothing real is ever lost. It just changes form.
Memphis, 2003
In 2003, I saw Bobby at the New Daisy Theater in Memphis.
That night lives separately in my memory—clear, embodied, intact. He held the center of that room without effort. Barefoot. Sweet-eyed. Steady. He wasn’t trying to transcend life. He was fully in it.
Grounded. Present. Keeping the experiment human.
I was dancing—not watching, dancing—when someone asked if I wanted to meet him backstage.
Backstage wasn’t glamorous. It was quiet.
Human.
We stood together and took a picture.
Nothing ceremonial.
No performance.
Me and Bobby (2003)
At the time, it felt special, but not monumental.
But, somehow I knew.
It felt like alignment rather than novelty. Like something clicking into place without needing to be named.
The kind of moment that doesn’t announce itself— it simply settles in, and remained pure and grateful.
When the Anchors Are Gone
I took it extremely hard when Jerry Garcia died. That loss cracked something open in me. But Bobby was still here. And so was Phil, Mickey, and Bob.
The music kept breathing. The way of being—curious, awake, communal—still had living anchors in the world.
Now Bobby is gone. And Phil is gone.
And with them, something has completed itself.
Not just a band.
Not just an era.
But a way of being that shaped my inner life for decades.
There was simply nothing like it.
And it fucking hurts.
Not in a poetic way. Not in a way that wants to be softened.
It hurts because something real is over. Because what once felt endless is suddenly finite. Because this music didn’t just accompany my life—it helped form it.
When I heard Bobby had died, Brokedown Palace rose up immediately—not as a thought, but as a feeling. A trust in laying the road and the body down together.
In letting the burdens fall away. In being received by something vast enough to call us home.
The Grateful Dead didn’t give me answers. They gave me permission.
Permission to trust experience over approval. Permission to choose conscience over comfort. Permission to live awake, even when it put me on the fringe.
That’s what I mean when I say I never got off the bus.
His death unlocked memories.
When music shapes a very formative time in your life, it doesn’t live only in your ears—it embeds itself in your body, your identity, the way you learned how to see.
So when that music loses one of its living anchors, it isn’t just the person you grieve.
You grieve the version of yourself that was formed in that sound. The time, the openness, the becoming. A whole interior landscape comes back online at once.
That’s what this kind of loss does. It reminds you who you were when everything first cracked open—and that part of you still matters.
We didn’t know then that Bobby had been diagnosed with cancer back in July.
His fans weren’t told.
There was no announcement, no public reckoning with illness.
We only learned after his daughter shared news of his passing.
In typical Bobby fashion, he didn’t ask for sympathy or fuss.
He didn’t make a show of it.
He stepped back the same way he always did on stage—quietly, unassumingly, letting others—or the music itself—take the lead.
No performance. No explanation.
Just a gentle withdrawal into the life he had left.
That restraint was its own kind of generosity. A final act of grace.
What I Carry Forward
So I cook. I feed people. I stay awake.
This bowl—this food—is part of that devotion.
What I carry forward is compassion. Awareness. And the understanding that we are all just walking each other home.
I was reminded of that when I saw Ram Dass’s Instagram feed—a photograph of him and Bobby together.
Two men who understood, each in their own way, that presence matters more than performance.
That love doesn’t require volume.
That you don’t have to dominate a room to shape a life.
It didn’t feel surprising. It felt inevitable.
As if the thread had always been there—visible only to those paying attention.
Aside from his earliest days, I saw Bobby through every chapter his music lived in.
I didn’t follow out of nostalgia or loyalty to a band name—I kept showing up because the music kept meeting me where I was. It changed as I changed.
The music went on until I couldn’t anymore, not because it stopped mattering, but because time and life eventually ask different things of our bodies.
What he gave won’t end as long as the spirit remains. And the spirit doesn’t belong to one body or one lifetime—it moves through all of us.
There’s a thread that connects us, whether we name it or not, and Bobby’s music lived on that thread.
It met people where they were, softened what needed softening, and reminded us—again and again—to come back to the heart.
Now that Bobby has left the body, what he offered is still here. Not as a performer or personality, but as a presence.
It’s the quiet knowing that we are all walking each other home, carried by the same music, the same love, the same shared breath.
It just moved out of the room and into memory, into the way certain songs still land in my chest, into the quiet recognition that something meaningful walked alongside me for decades.
Now that he’s gone, the music lives on the way all real things do—carried by people, by feeling, by the unseen vibrations that keep moving long after the sound itself fades.
As Ripple says, “If I knew the way, I would take you home.” Maybe that’s what he was always doing—walking with us, song by song, until we remembered the way for ourselves.
This recipe is a small token—my way of giving back. I could never repay what the music gave me.
That gift is too large, too formative, too alive.
But I can pass it along. I can feed people. I can keep Bob’s memory moving through the world through my art, the way the music always moved through me.
A way of saying thank you—for the music, for the memories, for the long strange trip, and for the understanding that the end is never the end.
It’s a crossing. A release. A beginning that asks us to keep listening.
River gonna take me Sing me sweet and sleepy All the way back home
🌻
This is a raw vegan, living bowl. Nothing here should feel cooked down, muted, or overworked. If an ingredient looks tired, skip it.
Use the best produce you can find. When a dish is this simple, quality isn’t optional—it’s the point.
Greens should taste alive. If your dandelion greens are aggressive, use less. This bowl rewards restraint.
The dressing should almost disappear. If you can clearly identify “lemon” or “oil,” you’ve gone too far.
Toss the beans first. This grounds the bowl and keeps the greens from wilting.
Layer loosely. Scatter, don’t stack. This bowl needs air.
This bowl is meant to be eaten fresh. It does not travel well and does not want to be prepped hours in advance.
If you feel the urge to add heat or crunch, pause. Ask whether you’re improving the bowl or interrupting it.
Eat it barefoot if you can. Windows open. Light coming in.
The California Sunflower Bowl is a raw vegan, living bowl 🌱 🥣 with —fresh greens, sprouts, tender beans, and a barely-there dressing meant to feel like early morning light. It’s grounding without being heavy, expansive without excess. This is food that stays awake, food that keeps you in your body.
Ingredients
Scale
Living Greens
1½–2 cups watercress or pea shoots
½ cup dandelion greens, finely chopped (light hand)
Crunch & Color
½ cup red cabbage, shaved very thin
½ cup thinly sliced cucumber (English or Persian)
Living Add-Ins
½ cup sprouted sunflower seeds
¾–1 cup white beans (cannellini or navy), drained and rinsed (room temperature or gently warmed)
½ cup microgreens
1 ripe avocado, sliced
Nutritional yeast, just a touch.
Morning-Dew Sauce
3 Tbsp best olive oil
1½ Tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
¼ tsp fine sea salt, or to taste
Optional: ½ tsp white miso or a few drops of maple syrup
Instructions
Toss the beans first with a small spoonful of the dressing to ground the bowl.
Layer greens loosely in a wide bowl. Do not compress.
Scatter cabbage, cucumber, sunflower sprouts, and microgreens.
Nestle in avocado slices.
Drizzle lightly with remaining dressing.
Finish with a soft dusting of nutritional yeast.
Stop before it feels finished. This bowl wants space.
I turned to Like Water for Chocolate after watching Chocolat.
Chocolate for chocolate.
The pairing wasn’t nostalgic; it was intuitive. The same substance appeared in two different worlds, doing two very different kinds of work.
Chocolate as a carrier of desire.
Chocolate as a revealer of appetite.
Chocolate as heat—sometimes held, sometimes allowed to run unchecked.
What differs between the two stories is not the intensity of feeling, but the container around it.
One asks what happens when desire is forbidden until it combusts.
The other asks what happens when desire is welcomed early enough to be held.
Only one survives.
Like Water for Chocolate: Desire Without Shelter
Based on the 1989 novel by Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate is a landmark work of magical realism—a genre that refuses to separate the emotional from the physical. In this world, feeling does not remain private.
It alters reality.
Tita De la Garza is born into a system that equates structure with sacrifice. As the youngest daughter, she is forbidden to marry and destined to care for her mother until death.
Love is not immoral—it is destabilizing.
Desire is not sinful—it is inconvenient.
What threatens the system must be contained or erased.
Cooking becomes Tita’s only sanctioned outlet.
Her emotions—grief, longing, erotic desire—have nowhere else to go, so they move through food. What cannot be spoken enters the body by other means.
The meals overwhelm not because they are excessive, but because the feeling behind them has been denied recognition.
This is not romance. It is pressure.
Psychologically, Like Water for Chocolate shows what happens when desire exists without permission, support, or relational structure.
There is no gradual expression, no mutual negotiation, no space for choice.
Feeling must either disappear or become absolute.
When desire is denied a container, it doesn’t resolve. It accumulates.
The story carries this logic all the way to its conclusion.
Love is finally consummated only when nothing else remains to be protected, and the fire that was denied containment consumes the house along with the lovers themselves.
The ending is beautiful, devastating, and terminal—not because love is dangerous, but because it was never allowed to live incrementally.
This is desire without shelter.
Fire with nowhere to rest.
Tita and the Language of Food
At the center of Like Water for Chocolate is Tita—a young woman whose inner life has no sanctioned outlet.
From birth, she is bound by an inherited rule that forbids her from marrying or forming a life of her own. Her role is predetermined: service, obedience, care without reciprocity.
Desire is not something she is allowed to explore, negotiate, or even name.
What Tita is allowed to do is cook.
And because everything else is denied expression, food becomes the only place her emotional life is permitted to exist.
In this story, the meals Tita prepares carry the exact emotional state she is in while making them.
When she is grieving, those who eat her food are overcome with sorrow.
When she is longing, desire ripples through the bodies of the diners.
When her heart breaks, the food induces illness, tears, and collapse.
This is not metaphor layered gently on top of realism. This is the logic of the world.
Feeling does not remain private. It moves outward.
Emotion is transmitted somatically, entering the bodies of others through taste, heat, and texture.
What Tita cannot say is still communicated—chemically, viscerally, involuntarily.
Food becomes the nervous system’s last available language.
The power of this device is not that Tita is magically gifted, but that she is psychologically trapped.
Her emotions overwhelm because they have been denied containment.
There is no place for desire to be held, so it spills into the one medium left open to her.
Her cooking is not expressive by choice.
It is expressive by necessity.
This is what makes Like Water for Chocolate so devastating.
The food does not cause chaos because emotion is dangerous.
It causes chaos because emotion has been exiled from every other relational space.
The body finds a way to speak when it is no longer allowed to be heard.
Chocolat: Desire With Witness
Chocolat tells a different story using the same language.
Vianne arrives in a rigid French village during Lent, opening a chocolate shop where restraint has been mistaken for virtue.
But she does not challenge the town through force or argument.
She listens.
Her chocolate is not expressive overflow; it is attunement.
Each offering is adjusted to the person receiving it—bitterness, sweetness, spice, texture.
Nothing is imposed.
Desire is neither forced underground nor allowed to dominate.
It is acknowledged early, while it can still be integrated.
This is the crucial difference.
Where Tita’s chocolate absorbs what cannot be spoken, Vianne’s chocolate reflects what has been denied attention.
Feeling is invited before it becomes crisis.
Pleasure is paired with care.
Appetite is not severed from responsibility.
Roux moves through the story as wind rather than anchor.
He does not promise permanence, nor does he demand it. Desire here is not framed as destiny or deprivation.
It is experienced, then allowed to remain fluid.
The village survives not because structure is destroyed, but because it loosens enough to breathe.
Chocolate, in this story, does not burn the house down.
It warms it.
The False Choice: Desire or Structure
These two films are often framed as opposites—passion versus restraint, indulgence versus order. But that reading misses the psychological truth beneath both stories.
Many people are taught—implicitly or explicitly—that they must choose between desire and structure.
That wanting threatens stability.
That safety requires suppression.
This is a false choice.
Desire itself is not the problem.
Wanting—physical, emotional, creative, erotic—is evidence of vitality.
What determines whether desire becomes destructive or connective is not its intensity, but the system’s ability to hold it.
In Like Water for Chocolate, desire is denied any container.
It is forbidden, unmanaged, forced underground. With no relational structure to support it, longing has nowhere to rest.
It leaks sideways. It accumulates pressure. Eventually, it erupts.
In Chocolat, desire is welcomed but witnessed.
Pleasure is paired with care.
Feeling is allowed to move early, while it can still be integrated.
Psychologically, this is the difference between intensity and intimacy.
Intensity without containment feels consuming, fated, destabilizing.
Intimacy with containment feels alive, grounded, sustainable.
Capacity Must Be Mutual
There is another truth both films quietly reveal.
This kind of desire—the kind that is alive but regulated—requires two people who both have the capacity to hold it.
One person cannot do this work alone. One nervous system cannot regulate for two.
When one person can stay present with desire and the other cannot, the fire burns unevenly.
One leans in while the other recoils, controls, or disappears.
What begins as connection becomes destabilizing—not because the desire was wrong, but because the capacity was mismatched.
You cannot have desire without the ability to handle it.
Fire itself is not dangerous.
Wildfire is.
Wildfire is not caused by too much heat, but by heat without boundaries, without stewardship.
Fire that has learned where it belongs warms, feeds, and transforms.
Fire that has not learned consumes indiscriminately.
This is the difference between passion that must be survived and passion that can be sustained.
The Difference That Determines the Ending
A final synthesis throughLike Water for ChocolateandChocolat
When everything is held together—the two women, and the man they love, and the cultures that shape what desire is allowed to be—the difference becomes unmistakable.
These are not competing loves. They are two fundamentally different structures of meaning, and structure determines outcome.
In Like Water for Chocolate, Tita’s life is organized almost entirely around Pedro.
Love is not one aspect of her existence; it is the only place where her existence is permitted to matter.
Because her autonomy is denied—choice, movement, authorship—love is forced to carry what a self cannot.
Pedro becomes the container for identity, purpose, and survival itself. This is not weakness; it is deprivation.
When love must hold the full weight of meaning, it cannot breathe.
It cannot evolve.
It can only endure until it breaks.
Desire, confined and postponed, turns inward and accumulates pressure.
When it finally releases, it does so as fire.
The man does not live through it. He is not punished—he is consumed.
Love arrives too late to be integrated, and so the story ends in tragedy.
In Chocolat, Vianne begins elsewhere.
She arrives with a life already in motion—work, appetite, values, community.
Love enters her world, but it does not replace it.
She does not need a man to complete her story; she chooses connection because it adds warmth, not because it supplies identity.
Desire here is acknowledged early enough to circulate, to be shared, to be held.
This difference becomes clearest through Roux.
Roux does not want to be interpreted, rescued, or defined.
Each time Vianne offers to name him—to tell him what his favorite chocolate is—he gently steps back.
“It’s good,” he says. “But it’s not my favorite.”
What he asks for is not insight, but recognition.
And Vianne listens.
She stops trying to define him to himself.
She gives up the role of savior.
She does not project a story onto him or attempt to complete him.
In doing so, she allows him to show her—quietly, clearly—that he does not need saving.
Love here is not rescue.
It is respect.
Because neither needs the other to exist, they are free to choose one another.
The man lives.
The story continues.
Culture matters here.
In the French village of Chocolat, pleasure—while resisted—is ultimately social. It can be discussed, shared, woven into daily life. Desire is not eliminated; it is negotiated.
Because it is allowed some daylight, it does not have to erupt.
Fire becomes hearth.
In the Mexico of Like Water for Chocolate, desire is private, secret, bound to duty and silence.
What cannot be spoken moves into the body, the kitchen, the heat.
Emotion does not circulate; it accumulates.
When release finally comes, it is total.
The fire consumes everything.
Seen together, the films clarify the same truth from opposite ends:
Repression does not eliminate desire. It only delays it.
One woman loves because love is the only place she is allowed to live.
The other loves because she already lives, and love is something she welcomes.
One story burns because love is asked to replace a self.
The other endures because love is allowed to meet another self, intact.
This is why one story ends in tragedy and the other in joy.
This is why one man dies and the other lives.
The difference is not how deeply anyone feels.
It is when feeling is allowed to live—and whether love is asked to save, or simply allowed to be seen.
Cooking as Practice
This is why cooking matters to me—not as performance, but as practice.
Heat teaches timing.
Fat teaches patience.
Chocolate teaches restraint.
What you add first, what you soften, what you hold back—all of it determines the outcome.
I no longer cook to prove competence.
I no longer write to justify my place in the room.
Feeling moves through what I make because it has been welcomed home—not because it is demanding escape.
Before, emotion leaked through the food because it had nowhere else to live.
Now, emotion moves through the food because it is integrated.
This is not productivity. It is attunement.
Like water brought just to the point of boil, fire no longer defines itself by danger.
It becomes medicine.
Transmission.
Nourishment.
Chocolate, finally, with a container.
The Fire Was Already There
There’s something humbling about realizing you didn’t arrive at a truth—you returned to it.
Years ago, long before I could articulate what I now understand about desire, containment, and fire that knows where it belongs, I made this chili.
I didn’t think of it as symbolic at the time.
I just knew it needed depth.
Heat needed ballast.
Something dark and steady beneath the spice.
And I knew instinctively that the chocolate mattered.
I used Scharffen Berger—not because it was fancy, but because it was real.
Proper cacao.
Clean bitterness.
Chocolate with integrity.
The kind that doesn’t sweeten or soften heat, but anchors it.
The kind that can stand up to chili powder without disappearing or hijacking the dish.
Little did I know I had already created the very thing I would one day write about: chocolate not as indulgence, but as structure.
This is a chili built on depth rather than aggression. The heat is present, but it’s rounded. The cacao doesn’t announce itself—it anchors everything else.
It’s the kind of food that feels steady in the body. Nourishing without being heavy. Warming without being chaotic. A long-simmered reminder that intensity doesn’t have to shout to be felt.
This is fire that has learned.
Ingredients
Scale
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped into small pieces
Warm a Dutch oven over medium heat for 2–3 minutes. Add the olive oil. Once warmed, add the onion and green pepper and cook for 5–6 minutes, stirring frequently, until softened.
Add the garlic and cook for another 1–2 minutes, stirring constantly and taking care not to let it brown.
Add the chili powder, cocoa, cumin, salt, pepper, and oregano. Stir well to coat the vegetables and let the spices bloom for about 1 minute.
Add the vegetable broth, tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, and all of the beans. Stir, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pot. Increase the heat and bring the chili to a gentle boil.
Reduce the heat to low and simmer uncovered for at least 30 minutes. For deeper flavor, allow the chili to simmer gently for 1–2 hours, stirring occasionally. If it thickens too much during a longer cook, add a splash of broth or water as needed.
Taste and adjust seasoning. Remove from heat.
Serve warm, garnished with vegan sour cream, sliced green onions, avocado, or any favorite toppings.
Enjoy.
Notes
Cacao is not here to make this “chocolatey.” It adds bitterness and bass notes, giving the chili a grounded spine that keeps the heat from running away.
This is a slow chili. It gets better the longer it cooks. Thirty minutes is good. An hour is better. Two hours, if you can manage it, is transformational.
This dish mirrors emotional regulation. You soften first (onion, pepper), bloom the spices gently, then let everything integrate over time. Nothing is rushed. Nothing is suppressed.
If it thickens too much, add a splash of broth or water. This chili likes to be held, not forced.
Lately, my days have been full in a very particular way. Between working late into the night, writing menus, and building out operations and procedures for work, my brain is constantly organizing and holding a lot at once.
At the same time, I’ve been writing more for my blog—reading, revisiting old movies, and soaking up time with my oldest home from college, while also sitting with the reality that my son leaves for boot camp in June.
I’m trying to really take advantage of this small pocket of downtime before I’m back in the kitchen and soon stepping into a newly assigned front-of-the-house lead role at Gateway—a shift that moves me into a more public, relational side of the work I already love. I’m honored. It feels like a liminal space: part reflection, part preparation.
What I crave most right now is food that feels healthy and nourishing without asking too much of me.
This bowl came together because of a craving more than a plan.
I kept thinking about pesto and white beans, and the way that combination feels both comforting and clean. Roasted cauliflower because I had some on hand—warm, caramelized, grounding. But I didn’t want the dish to feel flat or pale or beige. I wanted contrast. I wanted lift. I wanted something that felt intentional without being fussy.
That’s where the zucchini ribbons came in. I love their shape—the way they curl and fold instead of sitting still. They bring freshness, lift, and lightness that breaks up the softness of the beans. And then I wanted crunch, a little heat, and something bright enough to lift the whole dish. Lime-kissed pistachios with chili and fresh dill did exactly that. Salty, citrusy, herbal…a finishing element that wakes everything else up.
What I love most about this bowl is how rounded it feels. The butter beans provide real, sustaining plant-based protein. Between the beans, pesto, pistachios, and even the cauliflower, this is a meal that is super satisfiyng.
When my daughter asked me if I’d followed a recipe, I told her no. I followed my gut.
I was standing in the grocery store thinking about what sounded good together, what my body was asking for, and what felt right in that moment. There wasn’t a plan. And honestly, some of my favorite dishes come together that way. When you’ve been cooking as long as I have, ingredients start to speak to each other. You learn to listen.
That same instinct shows up in my writing, too. A lot of what’s been coming through lately—recipes, reflections, menus—feels unblocked and unfiltered. Less edited. More honest. And the results, both on the plate and on the page, have been quite delicious.
Why this recipe works is that it doesn’t require perfection—or a perfectly stocked fridge. This is a use-what-you-have kind of meal. If you have beans, something green, a sauce you love, and a way to add texture, you’re already most of the way there.
Butter beans are my favorite here, but cannellini, great northern, or even chickpeas work just as well. Jarred pesto is completely fine. Homemade is wonderful, but this isn’t the moment for extra work unless you want it to be. Roasted vegetables can be cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts—whatever’s already in your crisper. Zucchini ribbons can be swapped for shaved carrots, cucumber, or thinly sliced fennel.
The point isn’t the exact ingredients. It’s the structure.
This dish is great warm or cold, which makes it ideal for busy weeks. I love it slightly warm when it’s just been made, but it’s equally good straight from the fridge the next day. If you’re planning on leftovers, there’s one thing I really recommend: keep the pistachio crunch separate.
Nuts soften once they’re mixed into anything moist, and that crunch is doing important work here. Wrap the pistachios and keep them on the counter or in the pantry, then sprinkle them on right before eating. It takes almost no effort and makes the whole dish feel freshly made again.
One small detail that makes a big difference here: the pistachios I used were Wonderful brand jalapeño lime pistachios. They’re relatively new to the market, I think, and hands down my favorite, right alongside chili-roasted pistachios (Thanks, Amy).
They have just enough heat to show up, but they don’t overwhelm the dish or compete with everything else that’s going on. The lime in them echoes the citrus in the bowl, and the gentle heat arrives late, which keeps the whole thing balanced instead of spicy-for-the-sake-of-spicy.
If you don’t have those exact pistachios, don’t stress. Any lightly spiced or roasted nut will work. But if you do see jalapeño lime pistachios, they’re worth grabbing. They add personality without hijacking the plate.
If you don’t already have everything on hand, the shopping list is short. Beans. A green vegetable. A jar of pesto. A nut for crunch. One citrus fruit. Everything else is flexible.
A quick note on pesto: if you don’t feel like making it from scratch (and most days, I don’t), Whole Foods Market carries what is hands-down the best store-bought vegan pesto I’ve found. It’s the Gotham Greens Vegan Pesto, and it’s off the charts good.
Yes, it’s a little expensive, but it honestly comes out about the same as buying basil, pine nuts, garlic, olive oil, and nutritional yeast separately—and then taking the time to make it. It tastes fresh and balanced and does exactly what pesto should do: pull everything together without overpowering the dish.
This bowl was such a win that I’m already planning to add it to our vegan options at work. I’m always looking for plant-forward dishes that don’t feel like an afterthought—meals that stand on their own and feel just as intentional as everything else on the menu. This one holds beautifully, eats well warm or chilled, and actually leaves you feeling good.
And maybe that’s the thread running through all of this—food, writing, movies, hospitality. Paying attention. Not rushing. Letting things come together naturally before they’re asked to serve anyone else.
As I move back into the kitchen and toward the front of the house, that feels important to remember. Good food doesn’t just nourish bodies. It sets tone. It creates ease. It makes people feel held.
Sometimes the best recipes don’t come from a plan at all. They come from listening—and trusting that what you’re craving might actually know what it’s doing.
Creamy butter beans gently warmed in basil pesto and lemon zest, layered with cool zucchini ribbons and deeply roasted cauliflower. Finished with vegan feta and a bright lime–pistachio–dill crunch for contrast and texture. Herb-forward, balanced, and quietly satisfying.
Ingredients
Scale
Roasted Cauliflower
1 large head cauliflower, cut into bite-size florets
2 Tbsp olive oil
Kosher salt & cracked black pepper
Optional: pinch chili flake or Aleppo
Pesto Butter Beans
2 cans butter beans (or large white beans), drained & rinsed
¾–1 cup good-quality vegan basil pesto
Zest of ½ lemon
1 Tbsp lemon juice (more only if needed)
Fresh cracked black pepper
Zucchini Ribbons
2–3 medium zucchini, shaved into ribbons
1 tsp olive oil
Small pinch salt
Lime–Pistachio–Dill Crunch
½ cup shelled pistachios, raw or lightly roasted
Zest of ½ lime
1–2 Tbsp fresh dill, very finely chopped
Flaky salt, pinch
Optional: whisper of Aleppo or white pepper
Finish
Vegan feta (Violife preferred), crumbled
Extra olive oil or pesto for drizzling (optional)
Instructions
1. Roast the cauliflower
Heat oven to 425°F. Toss cauliflower with olive oil, salt, pepper, and optional chili. Roast 25–30 minutes, turning once, until deeply golden and tender. Set aside warm.
2. Warm the beans
In a wide sauté pan over low heat, add butter beans and pesto. Warm gently, folding rather than stirring. Add lemon zest, lemon juice, and black pepper.
Taste. This should be bright but calm, never sharp.
Remove from heat.
3. Prepare the zucchini
Toss zucchini ribbons with olive oil and a pinch of salt. Let sit 2–3 minutes to soften naturally. No heat. No force.
4. Make the crunch
Toast pistachios gently until fragrant. Cool completely. Mince finely by hand — shards, not dust. Fold in lime zest, dill, flaky salt, and optional spice just before serving.
This stays fresh only if it’s respected.
5. Assemble
Spoon pesto butter beans into bowls or onto a platter. Layer zucchini ribbons and roasted cauliflower over top. Finish with vegan feta and a light scattering of lime–pistachio–dill crunch.
Drizzle if needed. Stop before it becomes busy.
Notes
Best served warm or room temperature
Holds beautifully for service; crunch added last
Walnut can be substituted for pistachio if you want something earthier
I had made myself a quiet list of films—stories I wanted to sit with slowly, deliberately, the way one sits down to a long meal rather than grabbing something to go.
I had just moved through Asian cinema, through its attention to ritual and lineage, silence and inherited duty—the way meaning is carried not through declaration but through repetition and restraint.
From there, I drifted west, into European storytelling, into a different cadence of meaning, one that allows desire, pleasure, and contradiction to share the same frame.
The Danish film Babette’s Feast nearly lost me. Watching it felt like watching paint dry; I barely made it through.
Babette’s Feast sits in a lineage that recalls Ingmar Bergman (I adore him), particularly in its Scandinavian austerity.
Like Bergman’s films, its restraint is Lutheran to the core: spare interiors, disciplined faces, faith lived as endurance rather than consolation.
Appetite is treated with suspicion, the body something to be governed rather than trusted.
Grace, when it arrives, does so quietly—without declaration or emotional release. And yet, this resemblance is also where my distance from the film lives.
I am more drawn to Ingmar Bergman because he refuses reassurance.
His silences remain unresolved; his tensions are not softened by beauty or harmony. In Bergman’s world—think The Virgin Spring, my favorite—suffering is not redeemed by grace.
Even miracle arrives without consolation.
Violence is neither undone nor transfigured; innocence is not restored.
The question is posed—and left standing.
From Austerity to Appetite
Babette’s Feast ultimately redeems restraint through generosity; discipline is loosened, but only after long obedience. Bergman, by contrast, leaves us inside the question itself—unsheltered, unresolved.
Chocolat enters precisely between these two moral worlds.
Where Bergman refuses consolation and Babette permits it cautiously, Chocolat rejects restraint altogether.
Chocolate is the opposite of austerity.
It melts. It stains. It yields to warmth and resists containment.
It cannot be rushed without consequence, yet it refuses rigidity. It asks for attention, for timing, for the willingness to stay present long enough to feel its transformation.
Chocolate is sensual, yes—but not merely erotic. It is embodied. It engages the mouth, the hands, the breath. It awakens taste, memory, and anticipation all at once. It is bitter and sweet, dark and luminous, capable of holding contradiction without resolving it.
Where austerity demands denial, chocolate invites participation. Where restraint insists on control, chocolate requires surrender—not collapse, but consent.
It is communal by nature. It is meant to be shared, broken, passed hand to hand. It leaves evidence behind: on fingers, on lips, in the body. It does not disappear cleanly.
Chocolate does not moralize. It responds.
In a culture built on discipline and watchfulness, chocolate is destabilizing precisely because it returns authority to the body.
It asks a different question entirely: What do you notice now?
Which brings me, inevitably, to my favorite place.
France.
I studied French language for three years in high school and again for four semesters in college, learning not only its grammar and precision, but the way meaning lives in cadence—in pause, in what is left unsaid.
In high school, Madame Tede had us choose French names. Mine was Nanon, a diminutive of Anne, meaning grace—a small detail that felt quietly fitting even then.
French culture has never felt foreign to me. It feels remembered. Familiar. Like a place the soul recognizes before the mind does.
So when I sat down with Chocolat, I didn’t feel like I was pressing play on a movie.
I felt like I was crossing a border.
This wasn’t entertainment. It was immersion.
Le Vent
The Wind
The film opens quietly.
The camera pans in from the sea. A small village comes into view. Church bells toll.
Then the wind shifts.
It does not arrive gently. It blows the doors of the church wide open, interrupting order mid-ritual. What follows is not a soft stirring of longing but a rupture—discipline breached, stillness broken before anyone is ready to name desire.
If longing comes later, it comes only after disruption.
The wind does not ask permission. It does not wait to be welcomed. It exposes how fragile containment is, how quickly a carefully maintained order can come undone.
Vianne and her daughter Anouk arrive not as invitation but as consequence, carried in on a current that has already announced itself.
Appetite does not knock. It enters.
The red cloaks they wear cut sharply through gray stone, bare trees, and Lenten austerity. Against the village’s stillness, the color shocks.
The red matters.
It signals warmth, blood, appetite, embodiment—not rebellion for its own sake, but incarnation. Flesh enters abstraction. Breath enters discipline. Life returns to a faith wary of the body.
Even the village chosen to stand in for Lansquenet-sous-Tannes carries this tension. Flavigny-sur-Ozerain sits atop a limestone hill in Burgundy, a region long shaped by devotion and pleasure held in uneasy balance.
Burgundy is monastic country—stone abbeys, bells marking the hours, labor disciplined by ritual—but it is also a land of wine, cultivation, fermentation, and slow indulgence. Fasting and feasting have always coexisted here.
Flavigny itself grew around a Benedictine abbey. Though the monks no longer govern the town, their architecture still does. Narrow streets funnel sound. Walls close in. Visibility is unavoidable.
Everyone sees everyone else.
In a place like this, morality cannot remain private. It becomes communal, enforced less by punishment than by watchfulness.
That lineage makes the village a perfect stand-in for the film’s moral landscape.
Chocolate does not arrive as corruption. It arrives as remembrance.
Cinematically, the choices are exacting. The muted stone palette makes Vianne’s red cloak flare like a heartbeat. The church rises above the town, while the river—fluid, unsanctioned, free—runs below.
Grace descends. Communion leaves the hilltop and moves to the water.
This is why the village feels tense beneath its beauty. It is not cruel. It is orderly. It believes itself good.
And that is precisely what makes joy so destabilizing.
In a place designed for containment, pleasure cannot remain neutral. It becomes disruptive simply by being shared.
The village itself carries the psychology the story requires—a place where goodness is carefully curated, sweetness tightly controlled, and deviation treated as threat.
Flavigny does not need to be transformed for the story to work.
It only needs to be opened— the way doors are opened to the wind.
Ordre, Tranquillité et la Fabrication d’un Ennemi
Order, Calm, and the Making of an Enemy
The film begins in church, and that matters.
Faith here is orderly, seasonal, communal—designed to preserve stability rather than cultivate aliveness.
God is elevated. Appetite is watched. Morality is public.
But even as we sit in those pews, we see the fracture beneath the piety already in motion.
A woman steals. A man sleeps—checked out, absent, inert. Silent stares hold suspicion without words.
This is not a village of innocence; it is a village of watchfulness. The order is intact, yet appetite, desire, and despair are already present—simply unnamed.
The film begins in church not to announce righteousness, but to establish the terms under which everyone is being seen.
Joy—real joy—is treated with suspicion here, as though it might destabilize the entire system.
Into this carefully regulated world arrive two outsiders.
Vianne Rocher and her daughter move into an abandoned patisserie, renting the space from Armande Voizin, portrayed by Judi Dench, who lives above it.
The shop is dusty, neglected—another place where appetite has been shut down and left to stale.
They unpack, sweep, scrub, and begin again. Life does not arrive as spectacle. It arrives as practice.
It is in this quiet beginning that Vianne meets Armande—luminous, unsentimental, quietly formidable. There is nothing fragile about her presence. She carries wit like a blade and warmth like a steady flame. Armande has long since stopped asking permission to exist fully.
She recognizes Vianne immediately—not as threat or disruption, but as kin.
Their exchange is brisk, intimate, almost conspiratorial. In a town governed by watchfulness, Armande offers something radical in its simplicity: welcome.
With Chocolat, the film establishes its moral axis.
Holiness does not announce itself from a pulpit. It opens a door. It pours a drink. It knows life when it sees it.
Outside the shop, however, another story is already forming.
Before the chocolatier opens its doors, Vianne is being assessed.
As she scrubs and airs the space, Comte de Reynaud appears—uninvited, self-appointed. He does not introduce himself so much as inspect. His questions masquerade as pleasantries: church attendance, marital status.
Vianne answers plainly. She does not go to church. She is a single mother.
She offers no defense, no apology. None is required. The information alone is enough.
The Comte leaves with his conclusions already formed. What he cannot regulate directly, he manages indirectly—through inference, suggestion, and the quiet authority of gossip.
By the time the shop opens, Vianne has already been framed: morally suspect, spiritually careless, socially disruptive.
The village does not turn against her on its own. It is instructed to.
Children call her an atheist. Neighbors whisper. Polite women avert their eyes.
Difference is flattened into danger.
Presiding over it all is Comte de Reynaud, whose authority depends on vigilance. He does not treat Vianne as inconvenient, but as a moral threat. He urges the priest to visit—to witness the enemy for himself.
This is how repression survives:
Through narrative. Fear becomes doctrine. Surveillance becomes morality. Control disguises itself as care.
Ouvrir Les Fenêtres, Écouter Sans Hiérarchie
Opening the Windows, Listening Without Hierarchy
When the chocolaterie first announces itself, the response is chilly.
People pass by. Eyes avert. The door stays quiet.
Then Vianne opens the windows.
Light spills outward. Chocolate fills the glass—dark, glossy, abundant. Color returns to the street. Joy becomes visible. This is not an argument. It is an invitation.
The sign reads Chocolaterie Maya. Unadorned, almost modest—no promise, no provocation, just a name. Maya, bound to illusion and revelation, suggests the thin veil between what appears fixed and what is quietly mutable beneath it.
The shop does not declare itself a challenge to the village’s order, yet that is what it becomes: a place where surfaces soften, appetite is remembered, and moral certainty begins to thin.
Like the wind that precedes it, the chocolatier does not argue. It opens.
Wisdom that emerges rather than descends.
Before the shop has fully begun its work, Armande’s daughter, Caroline Clairmont enters with her son, Luc. She arrives stiffly, already fluent in vigilance. When Vianne offers Luc hot chocolate, Caroline intervenes at once. There are five weeks left of Lent. He must not indulge.
The correction is swift, public, unquestioned.
Caroline is not cruel. She is disciplined.
In her world, appetite must be supervised—timed, regulated, delayed. Pleasure is something to be managed.
Then another woman enters: Yvette Marceau.
Yvette is married, proper, devout in the way the village requires. Her body and desires have been disciplined into silence. She moves through the world with a careful restraint—dutiful, contained, emotionally muted. What defines her most is not excess, but privation.
The mood lightens as Vianne’s guests are invited to spin a painted plate and say the first thing that comes to mind. It resembles fortune-telling, but it is something more intimate.
The plate is small and brightly painted, crowded with figures and fragments without hierarchy. It is not meant to be read when it stops. Meaning emerges while it spins.
As the colors blur, the eye catches what it catches. No interpretation is offered. Thought loosens. What rises does so unfiltered.
The plate does not predict. It invites.
Vianne listens. Then she responds.
Luc spins and sees teeth and blood; Vianne gives him bitter chocolate.
Vianne asks Armande to spin the plate but the old woman refuses. She says, “I don’t need to spin the plate. I see a cranky old woman too tired for games.” Vianne gives her dark, thick hot chocolate, dusted with chili.
She knows what to offer because she is not diagnosing or prescribing. She is listening—to words, to posture, to what escapes when control loosens. The image is not chosen; it surfaces. The response is not advice, but attunement.
Chocolate, for Vianne, is not indulgence. It is accuracy.
When Yvette spins she speaks of riding wild on horseback, she is not fantasizing escape; she is naming a self long denied safety. She speaks, too, of her husband’s indifference—desire withdrawn, intimacy thinned into endurance.
Vianne hears not fantasy, but restraint pressing against its limits.
She offers Yvette chili-spiced chocolate. Then, more quietly, cacao nibs for her husband.
Yvette means to throw them away. She tips the nibs toward the trash when she finds him passed out—heavy with sleep, unreachable. It won’t matter, she thinks.
But the pack lands on the floor, unnoticed.
Later, half-awake, he finds it by accident. Lets the cacao melt on his tongue.
He sees her bent over the tub, sleeves pushed up, intent on the small, ordinary work of cleaning. For a moment he only watches. Something in him stirs—slow, unmistakable.
When she looks up, the expression on his face gives him away. Recognition passes between them without a word.
From a distance, through the window, we are allowed only a brief view: two figures drawn toward one another, the glass holding us back as something long denied begins to return.
Heat where warmth has been denied. Bitterness where depth has been flattened. Spice where vitality has been suppressed. Softness where the body has learned to brace.
She does not give what is wanted. She gives what has been absent.
Listening—not instruction—is what makes the shop dangerous. In a village where people are told what is best for them, Vianne offers something far more destabilizing: a way to recognize it for themselves.
She does not decide. She listens—and reflects back what has been trained into silence.
That kind of knowing cannot be governed.
Joséphine : Restauration, Artisanat et Dignité
Josephine: Restoration, Craft, and Dignity
Next, we meet Josephine.
She enters the shop while Vianne is in the back. As observers, we watch her slip a box of chocolates into her coat, then continue browsing casually, as if nothing has happened.
She moves through the space with practiced ease—the choreography of someone long accustomed to taking what she is not supposed to have.
Then Vianne emerges from the kitchen. She asks, gently, if she can help her.
Josephine replies that everything in the shop is far too expensive.
Vianne reaches for a box of chocolates—the very one Josephine has just stolen—and says simply, Here. Take these. They’re on the house.
Josephine knows she has already taken them. She refuses the offer, dismisses the woman, and leaves quickly.
The moment lingers. Was Josephine seen? Or was she recognized?
Yet, Vianne cannot leave it there.
She figures out where Josephine works and goes to her. She knows what Josephine took, but she does not name the theft. There is no accusation, no demand for confession. Instead, she brings a box of chocolates and holds it out to her.
“These are for you,” she says.
Josephine watches her carefully. She has learned not to trust gifts, not to trust kindness that arrives without a price. After a moment, she asks the only question that feels safe.
“What do you want?”
Only then does Vianne answer.
“I want to be your friend.”
The next day, Josephine appears outside the shop before it opens.
She understands—without doctrine, without instruction—that something must be set right before anything else can begin.
She does not come asking to be comforted. She comes to restore balance.
Josephine’s instinct has a biblical name, even if she does not know it.
In the Bible, the story of Zacchaeus offers the same moral geometry. Having taken what was not his, he does not wait to be welcomed before acting. He restores first:
If I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold. (Luke 19:8)
Only after this does communion follow.
The order matters. Restoration precedes relationship. Integrity comes before belonging.
Josephine understands this without theology, without language. She knows she cannot accept friendship while something remains unresolved. She comes back to make things right—not to be forgiven, not to be comforted, but to stand upright in herself.
In plain terms, the principle is simple:
True relationship requires integrity first. Grace follows honesty, not avoidance.
Josephine’s return is not a transaction. It is a moral awakening. And in that sense—quietly, instinctively—it is profoundly Christian, even before belief ever enters the room.
When she is invited inside, she accepts. She cradles a cup of hot chocolate carefully, as if it were something fragile.
When it spills, she startles and apologizes at once, as if condemnation has always followed even the smallest mistake.
I’m behaving badly, aren’t I?
And then the dam breaks, and the truth becomes a flood—about pretending, about endurance, about learning to want nothing more than the life she has been given.
A woman who has been abused learns, slowly and thoroughly, to believe that it is her fault. That wanting more is dangerous. That endurance is virtue, and silence the price of survival.
Josephine has learned this lesson well.
Vianne tells Josephine there is more to life for her.
Josephine answers quietly, Not according to my husband.
And Vianne, instead of pushing, does something almost impossible: she yields. Yes—your husband must be the authority. You’re right. I’m sorry.
The exchange is brief, almost imperceptible. But something shifts. Vianne does not argue. She does not instruct. She does not attempt to liberate Josephine by force. And in that moment of being believed—even mistakenly—the seed takes root.
Vianne is warm. She is open. She does not harden at the thought of consequence. She lives as though kindness is not something to be rationed, and that alone feels radical.
Josephine feels drawn to that steadiness. To the sense that here, finally, is someone who will not ask her to be smaller in order to be safe.
Then comes the night.
After another drunken beating, and after her husband Serge passes out, Josephine bravely takes a belt and ties his feet together.
When something in her finally breaks—when she stands up for herself, however clumsily—she does not go to the authorities. She does not go to the church. She goes to the only woman who has ever met her without judgment.
Vianne.
When the pounding comes at the door, Vianne opens it to find Josephine there—laughing and crying at once, breathless with relief, terrified of what comes next.
As Vianne brushes Josephine’s hair back from her face, she sees the bruise blooming beneath her fingers.
It’s so stupid, Josephine says. I never blame him. Sometimes I forget what really happened.
An abused woman will often rewrite the story to make it livable—to soften what cannot yet be endured, to turn violence into accident, fear into loyalty. Forgetting becomes a way to survive what cannot yet be faced.
Not blaming him is the mercy she grants herself. To place the fault where it belongs would make the loss too great, the life too impossible to bear. So she loosens her grip on blame and lets it drift away, choosing endurance over rupture, because it is the only way she knew how to remain.
It is not stupidity. It is survival.
Only then do we recognize what has begun.
The tiny seed that was planted earlier has taken hold.
Josephine has come because, somewhere inside her, a new possibility has formed—the faint belief that there might be more for her than the life she has been living.
This is not rescue. It is apprenticeship.
Vianne does not save her. Instead she trains her.
Through patience, repetition, and trust in process, Josephine begins to stand. The work asks something of her—attention, steadiness, time. In learning how to hold heat without burning, how to wait without fear, she learns something else as well: that she can remain present without bracing for harm.
Word reaches the Comte quickly. Serge has been to see him, furious and humiliated, insisting that the vile Vianne has taken hold of his wife—that she has corrupted her, turned her against her duty, loosened her from the life she was meant to endure.
When the Comte arrives, he is angry, accusatory, insistent. He speaks of order and influence, of danger disguised as kindness. He demands that Josephine be returned.
Vianne listens without interrupting.
Then she calls Josephine from the back room.
“Show him,” she says simply.
She turns Josephine gently toward the light. The bruise is there, unmistakable.
The Comte stops.
What he sees appalls him. His anger shifts, sharpens, finally finding its true direction. He speaks of punishment. Of penance. Of making Serge answer for what he has done—of forcing him back into the discipline of God so that he might be remade.
For the first time, Josephine’s suffering is not explained away. It is seen.
And Vianne, who never argued, never accused, never named the harm aloud, has let the truth stand on its own.
This is not rescue. It is instruction.
Les Gens du Vent
The People of the Wind
For a child who has known only her mother, stories matter. At night, Anouk, Vianne’s daughter, asks for the story—not because it is new, but because it is familiar.
She wants to hear about Grande Mère and Grand Père, about the people of the wind. Vianne hesitates, aware of how close this story sits to something she has never fully examined.
But she begins.
She tells Anouk first about her mother’s people—the ones who followed the wind. They traveled from town to town carrying cacao, not as sweetness, not as indulgence, but as medicine. The beans were bitter and dark, ground slowly, mixed with herbs and spices chosen for their warmth and their strength.
Cacao was given to steady the heart, to lift sorrow, to restore appetite when grief had thinned the body. It warmed the blood. It softened fear. It helped people feel themselves again.
They stayed only as long as they were welcome. Long enough to tend what ailed the body, long enough to ease what had grown tight or cold. When the air shifted—when the welcome cooled or the work was done—they moved on. That was how they listened.
Then her father enters the story. A professor, curious and intent, leads an expedition to Central America to study the compounds of certain botanicals—what healed, what soothed, what altered the body and the mind.
He was drawn to the same questions from the other side: not tradition, but inquiry. It was through this work that he met her mother. Their meeting was not cautious. It was quick, intense, unmistakable. They married.
For a while, the story says, things were different.
Her grandparents settled in Paris. They made a home. They believed they might stay. Life grew orderly. Predictable. The wind, for once, was quiet.
But only for a while.
One night, in the middle of the night, her mother took Vianne by the hand and left. There was no argument, no secrecy, no anger to point to afterward. The leaving was older than choice. The inheritance had stirred again.
Vianne never grew up with her father. Like her mother before her, she learned a different rhythm—arrival and departure, town after town, pauses that never quite became roots.
And Anouk, listening now, has never known any other way.
The story does not tell her this is sad. It does not tell her this is freedom. It simply tells her this is what was handed down: a way of tending bodies and listening for what they need, a life shaped by movement rather than mastery. Staying and leaving governed not by success or failure, but by the wind.
As Anouk drifts toward sleep, the story settles into the room. We begin to understand what has brought them here. This town is not an exception. It is another stopping place in a long, unfinished journey. The same current that once carried cacao from hand to hand now carries Vianne and her daughter into yet another place.
What feels like choice begins to look like pattern.
And beneath the calm cadence of the telling, a question forms—one Vianne has never allowed herself to ask out loud:
What happens when the wind finally asks you to stay?
Hospitalité et Conséquence
Hospitality and Consequence
As time passes, the chocolate shop does not close, as so many expected. Instead, it begins to flourish—not loudly, but steadily—threading itself into the daily rhythms of those willing to cross its threshold. What was first received as provocation slowly becomes presence.
It is within this season of softening that Luc, Armande’s grandson, begins slipping into the chocolaterie to spend time with his grandmother, despite his mother’s prohibition. The visits are brief, careful, easily missed.
For a while, everyone seems at ease in a way they may never have been before. Luc is not corrected or timed. He is not instructed. He is simply allowed to be a child.
It is during these quiet moments that Armande explains why her daughter is ashamed of her: she reads dirty books; she eats and drinks exactly what she likes; she refuses to be corrected or contained; and she will not be placed in an old folks’ home.
Her life is a steady insistence on appetite and choice, and in a village that confuses restraint with virtue, this insistence is treated as moral failure rather than autonomy.
For a time, this is enough.
Then the river delivers the pirates.
They arrive as the river always does—without announcement, without permission. Their boats are patched and weathered, their clothes worn soft by use. They carry guitars, cooking pots, children, dogs. They are loud in places, quiet in others, uncontained by schedule or decorum.
They look like people who have learned to live with movement rather than mastery, who take up space without apologizing for it.
The village responds as it always does to disruption.
Parents gather their children and retreat indoors, doors closing quickly, fear moving faster than thought.
The unease is not only about the strangers themselves, but about what they might carry with them—noise, pleasure, loosened rules, the possibility that boundaries so carefully maintained are more fragile than assumed.
What unsettles the Comte the most is not that outsiders arrive, but that Vianne and her daughter move toward them without hesitation.
They do not assess or interrogate. They offer chocolate. They offer kindness. They offer welcome.
Outsiders welcoming outsiders—an alignment that feels, to the village, like a breach rather than a bridge.
It is here that Vianne notices Roux.
He sits slightly apart from the alarm, playing his guitar, untouched by suspicion, uninterested in proving himself acceptable. He neither advances nor retreats. While the village responds with control and withdrawal, something else unfolds at the margins—music instead of vigilance, ease instead of defense, recognition without demand.
Roux warns her to be careful. If she makes friends with people like them, he says, she may also make enemies elsewhere. In this village, welcome is never neutral; kindness carries a cost.
Vianne smiles and asks if that is a promise.
The exchange is light, almost playful, but it carries a quiet clarity. She understands the terms already.
What Roux names as risk, Vianne receives as confirmation.
To be open is to be visible. To offer hospitality is to refuse the safety of compliance.
Where the village measures goodness by obedience, she measures it by openness. In choosing friendship, she accepts enmity without fear—an ethic of welcome practiced not in theory, but in full view.
La Violence Dévoilée
Violence Unmasked
Most unexpectedly, Serge appears again, presented as a changed man. He arrives at the chocolate shop neatly dressed, carrying flowers—the familiar grammar of repentance. The exchange is restrained, almost gentle. Josephine stands steadier now, upright in her refusal; Serge appears composed, polished.
He says he is sorry. He says God has made him new. He asks her to believe him. Josephine listens. She takes the flowers.
But when he begins to describe what life will be like when she comes home—when apology quietly shifts into expectation—she tells him she is not coming home. The gentleness collapses at once. Nothing essential has changed.
Josephine thanks him. The flowers are lovely. She repeats that she is not coming home. Serge insists. They are still married in the eyes of God, he says. Josephine answers simply that God must be blind.
What is revealed is not failed redemption, but false repentance. Serge has learned the language of humility without relinquishing control. His apology is conditional. Josephine’s refusal exposes the truth beneath it: change that demands return is not change at all.
The illusion does not last.
That night, Serge breaks into the chocolate shop drunk and goes up to the apartment—uncontained now, stripped of the civility he had rehearsed. He demands to know how Josephine could be working there, how she could imagine herself belonging anywhere outside his reach.
He mocks her, sneering that she does not even know how to use a skillet. What he is really saying is simpler and crueler: that she does not belong—here, or anywhere beyond him.
The rage escalates quickly. Vianne, Josephine, and the child try to block the door, but he is stronger than all of them. He forces his way inside. Panic replaces argument. Serge lunges forward, throws Vianne to the floor, and begins to choke her.
The violence that had always lived beneath his repentance finally shows itself without disguise.
It is Josephine who stops him. She comes up behind him and strikes him with a pan, knocking him unconscious. In the aftermath—shaken but upright—she says the line that undoes everything he has ever claimed about her:
Who says I can’t use a skillet.
The moment is not triumphant, but it is decisive. The object once used to humiliate her becomes the instrument of her survival. What was meant to diminish her is reclaimed as proof of strength.
The village has long mistaken restraint for goodness and submission for virtue.
This violence exposes the cost of that confusion.
Josephine’s act is not aggression; it is clarity—the end of fear masquerading as order.
The next morning, Josephine, Vianne, and Armande are back in the shop.
Daylight restores the room to something like normal.
They laugh. They speak lightly. They try to joke, as if humor might stitch the night back together.
But Josephine’s body tells the truth. Her hands shake. She nearly spills the hot chocolate, the cup tipping just enough to reveal how close the fear still lives beneath her skin. What remains is not hysteria, but aftershock.
Armande notices. She steadies the moment and tells her the worst is over. He found out what you’re made of, she says—not as praise, but as fact.
Josephine answers just as simply.
So did I.
It is not a declaration of victory, but recognition. The violence did not define her; it revealed her. What she learns is not that she is capable of harm, but that she is capable of resistance.
The shop, once a place of refuge, becomes something more durable: a space where fear has been survived, named, and no longer allowed to rule.
La Protection Mal Compris
Protection Misunderstood
A small gathering begins to form at the chocolaterie. It is becoming a home for the outliers.
Caroline’s son believes his mother is at her weekly hair appointment. Thinking himself free for the afternoon, Luc goes to spend time with his grandmother. Only later do we learn where Caroline has actually been—moving through the village distributing flyers for the Comte de Reynaud.
The message is blunt and moralized: boycott immorality.
Order framed as virtue; exclusion framed as righteousness.
When Caroline enters the chocolate shop and finds her son with Armande, the moment tightens. His presence reads to her as defiance, though it is nothing of the sort. He is not rebellious by nature.
He simply wants to be near the old woman who lets him breathe. Armande does not correct him into obedience. She does not shrink him. She makes room.
Here the fracture between mother and daughter comes into focus. Armande is seriously ill—her diabetes advanced, her body already bearing the cost of years lived on her own terms.
Caroline’s anger is real, but it is rooted in fear. She is furious because her mother refuses the discipline that might prolong her life. The hot chocolate in Armande’s hands becomes evidence, to Caroline, of recklessness—pleasure mistaken for self-destruction.
What Caroline cannot accept is that Armande understands the risk and chooses anyway. This is not ignorance; it is consent. Armande will not trade the remainder of her life for careful management.
Caroline’s love turns managerial.
Protection hardens into control. What one woman calls care, the other experiences as erasure.
The child at the center of this tension does not yet have language for it. He only knows where he feels most alive. In that knowing, the story offers its quiet indictment: that what is framed as protection often suffocates, and that what is condemned as indulgence may, in fact, be mercy.
Armande says plainly that she would rather die in her own home than be placed in an old folks’ home. The statement is not dramatic. It is factual, spoken without self-pity or defiance. She is naming the terms of her remaining life.
Caroline cannot accept this. Fear tightens into resolve. She insists that Luc come with her. He resists—not in rebellion, but reluctance. He does not want to leave his grandmother. He does not want to be pulled from the one place where he feels unguarded.
Caroline takes him anyway.
The moment is small and devastating. Authority prevails, not because it is right, but because it is louder. Luc is removed from the space that allows him to breathe, and Armande is left behind—her autonomy dismissed as stubbornness, her clarity recast as recklessness.
What passes between them is not cruelty, but fear unexamined. Caroline believes she is protecting her son. Armande understands that protection without listening becomes harm.
The village will side with the mother who enforces rules over the grandmother who offers choice. In that alignment, the story reveals how easily love becomes possession when grief is denied.
La Foi Sans Miséricorde
Faith Without Mercy
One of the film’s most revealing moments occurs when Roux enters Serge’s café with a small girl and asks only for a glass of water. The request is modest, humane, impossible to misread. The child is thirsty.
Serge looks at him and says they do not serve animals.
The line lands with particular brutality. In a town that understands itself as devout, orderly, and Christian, the refusal is framed not as cruelty but as righteousness. Faith is repurposed to justify exclusion. Compassion is withheld not out of necessity, but out of principle.
No one intervenes. No one objects.
The town has already agreed—silently, collectively—that certain people no longer qualify for basic decency. In calling the river people animals, Serge gives voice to what the village has been practicing all along.
This is the moral dilemma the film refuses to soften. Faith that preserves order by denying mercy is not merely mistaken; it is dangerous. Care that requires worthiness before compassion has already abandoned its ethical center. The refusal of water is not an exception within this moral system—it is its logical outcome.
It is here that the town’s Christianity is quietly undone. Jesus Christ did not withhold mercy until worthiness was proven.
He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. He crossed the boundaries others enforced.
He turned water into wine—not to preserve order, but to honor joy, embodiment, and human need. Against that measure, the denial of water is not holiness but inversion.
Immediately after this refusal, Vianne sees the pair passing her shop and calls them inside. There is no hesitation, no assessment—only welcome. Once indoors, the little girl admits her stomach hurts.
Vianne listens and offers a few mint leaves to ease the ache, a gesture so ordinary it feels almost radical against what has just been denied. Care is not argued for; it is practiced.
Only then does the scene soften.
The children drift together at once. Vianne’s daughter and the little girl become friends without ceremony or explanation, running off unburdened by the moral architecture governing their elders. What adults police, children cross instinctively.
That same ease carries into Vianne’s exchange with Roux. She offers him a truffle, telling him it is his favorite.
He accepts it, tastes it, and says it is very good—but not his favorite.
Vianne pauses. She registers the correction. She does not defend herself. She allows it.
This is where the ethic clarifies. Where the town’s morality hardens into certainty, Vianne remains adjustable. Her authority is not built on being right, but on remaining open.
Mercy here is not grand or declarative; it is attentive, responsive, and willing to be changed. The answer to faith emptied of mercy is not argument, but a kindness that listens—and stays porous enough to learn.
Roux is gentle and easy with Vianne’s daughter. They laugh.
They tease one another with the unselfconscious ease of people not performing for approval. The women watch, amused—not suspicious, not protective, simply pleased.
There is no posturing in him, no need to assert authority. He meets the child where she is.
He stays to help with small repairs around the shop.
Nothing dramatic—loose boards, ordinary fixes—but the effect is quietly transformative. Work becomes companionship. Care takes the shape of presence rather than promise.
Where others impose, Roux assists. Where the town demands roles, he inhabits relation.
What unfolds is not seduction or spectacle, but ease. The shop hums with laughter and movement, with the simple pleasure of things being tended rather than judged. In a village obsessed with moral order, this gentleness feels almost subversive.
It is not claimed. It is lived.
And in that living, a different model of masculinity—and of belonging—takes shape.
La Morale Enforcée
Morality Enforced
The Comte is furious now. Roux is no longer merely present at the margins; he is helping openly—repairing the shop, laughing with Vianne’s child, becoming visible. What had been tolerated as novelty is recast as contamination. Authority responds the only way it knows how: by tightening its grip.
Even the church is enlisted. From the pulpit, chocolate is named as evil. Vianne is not mentioned, but she does not need to be. The message moves quickly. Suspicion hardens into permission. The town turns.
The children follow. At school, Anouk is teased. Difference, once merely noticed, becomes grounds for cruelty. She comes home wounded and confused, carrying questions she does not yet know how to hold.
Why can’t we go to church? Why can’t you be like the other mothers? Why do you wear red shoes? Why not black like the others?
These are not accusations. They are the language of a child trying to understand exclusion. What she is really asking is why belonging seems to require erasure—why love must disguise itself as sameness, why her mother’s joy has become a liability.
Here, the cost of moral conformity reaches the innocent. What the town calls righteousness teaches its children how to punish difference. What it calls faith teaches them where cruelty is permitted. And Vianne is forced to face what she has resisted until now: that welcome, once visible, will be answered by discipline—not because it is wrong, but because it refuses to hide.
She goes to Armande in tears. The weight has finally reached her—the looks, the whispers, the way even children have learned where they are allowed to belong. Armande listens, steady and unsentimental.
Then she says, almost mischievously, that she wants Vianne to throw her a party. Not a quiet one. A real one. Something that will make them talk.
Vianne resists. No one will come, she says. The town has already chosen.
But Armande knows better. Beneath the surface of obedience are people waiting for permission to exhale. Silence, she understands, is not agreement.
Invitations are sent. Slowly, it becomes clear that support has been there all along—quiet, cautious, but real.
And Vianne makes one choice that seals the evening’s meaning: she decides to invite Roux and his friends.
The gathering becomes more than defiance. It becomes alignment. Outsiders are welcomed openly. Those marked as problems are received as guests. What the town calls provocation, Armande calls truth. Grief shifts into something sturdier—celebration as refusal, joy practiced as moral courage.
When Vianne visits Roux, she brings another small box of chocolates and offers them with the same quiet confidence as before, telling him they are his favorite. He tastes one, pauses, then smiles.
He says—almost with wonder—that he is undone, but they are still not his favorite.
The moment lands differently now. It is no longer playful correction alone; it is revelation.
Vianne has an uncanny gift for reading people, for knowing what will comfort them, what will please them.
She has guessed everyone else.
With Roux, she cannot.
What emerges is not mystery, but integrity. Roux is not withholding; he is simply not legible in the usual way. He does not yield himself to easy knowing or to being catalogued by preference. And Vianne, for the first time, meets someone she cannot anticipate or complete.
There is no disappointment—only curiosity. Attraction here is not rooted in mastery, but in difference. Where the town demands certainty, Roux offers unknowability. Where others are reduced to appetite, he resists being named by it. In that resistance, something uniquely equal begins to take shape.
The feast comes together. Josephine and Vianne work side by side, preparing food not merely to be eaten but to be witnessed. The table is abundant, luminous. Dishes arrive like offerings, arranged with care and imagination, so beautiful they verge on art.
This is not indulgence. It is devotion expressed through creation.
Elsewhere, the wind moves through the village. A lantern sways at Roux’s table. In the chocolate shop, windows are pushed open. Air rushes in. What has been sealed begins to loosen.
Nothing is announced. It is signaled.
The wind does not overthrow order, but it refuses to remain outside it. Something is shifting—between restraint and release, denial and celebration. The village stands at the edge of a reckoning, and the signs are already in motion.
La Fête comme Résistance
The Feast as Resistance
Armande’s birthday is not framed as indulgence, but as insistence. The table is set openly, without apology. Guests arrive not because they have been sanctioned, but because they have been invited. Laughter moves easily now. Music carries across the river. What has been whispered in kitchens and corners steps into the open air.
The evening opens with two announcements. Armande tells her guests that if they are enjoying themselves now, they will love what she has planned for Easter. Then she adds that there is no dessert tonight.
A collective sigh.
She smiles and explains that dessert is waiting—on Roux’s boat.
The room stills. It is one thing to slip into the chocolate shop; it is another to cross the river. The line between tolerated pleasure and open refusal becomes clear.
Then the music begins.
Music rises first, tentative, then sure. Guitars catch the air and carry it. People drift toward the sound, then closer, then into it. Feet begin to move. Laughter comes in bursts, surprised at itself. What had been forbidden loosens its grip and becomes—almost without announcement—ordinary. Joyful.
The river takes the sound and sends it outward, replacing suspicion with rhythm.
Caroline arrives at the edge of the gathering and stops. She sees her mother among the dancers—laughing, uncontained, wholly herself. Their eyes meet. Nothing is said. Caroline’s face tightens, then closes. She turns away. We understand where she is going before she moves.
Elsewhere, the Comte stands alone in his house. He opens the wardrobe and lifts out a single silk dress—smooth, spare, unmistakably hers. There is no lace to tear, nothing ornamental to punish. Just fabric. Just the outline of a body that will not return. He cuts it carefully, almost precisely, the scissors moving with the same restraint he has always practiced.
His wife has left. She is not coming back.
Containment is all he has left to hold.
Back at the river, Josephine dances. Her body moves without apology now, without the old vigilance. She does not look reckless. She looks present.
The Comte arrives with Serge. Serge points her out. The Comte watches for a moment, jaw set, then mutters that something must be done. He turns away and walks off, leaving Serge behind like a problem he no longer wishes to claim.
Josephine sees him. She pauses—just long enough to feel the old reflex rise—then the music swells again, and she lets it pass. She keeps dancing.
The night softens. Vianne and Roux find each other without ceremony, without decision. They move together easily, as if what has been building has finally found its shape and no longer needs explanation.
Armande grows tired and says so plainly. She is ready to go. Vianne offers to walk her home, but Armande waves her off, laughing. Don’t be silly. You’ll ruin a perfectly good evening. She settles into her chair and says she will sleep just fine where she is.
The party thins, but it does not end. Voices lower. Music drifts.
Nothing has been overturned. Something essential has been revealed.
Later, we return to the river. Roux and Vianne drift together in a smaller boat, the water dark and quiet beneath them. Vianne speaks at last, telling him she thinks she might want to stay—that perhaps she does not want to leave this time. He smiles. They kiss. Love, unguarded, finally takes its place among the night’s offerings.
Elsewhere, Josephine wakes at a sound. She sits up, listening. The dark holds its breath. Anouk is beside her, safe. Josephine looks around, sees nothing, and lies back down.
Only later do we understand what she heard.
Not imagination. Not unease.
The first faint crackle of fire—the warning arriving before the flames were visible.
Roux comes running, calling for Vianne.
There is fire.
Their larger boat is ablaze. Flames climb quickly. People shout. Panic spreads along the riverbank. Vianne calls out for her daughter and cannot see her anywhere. The noise swells—voices, fire, movement, confusion. The moment fractures into flashes: water, faces, firelight.
Vianne’s fear hardens into certainty. She believes Anouk is still on the boat.
She moves toward the water, intent on reaching her. Roux realizes what is about to happen—the boat will explode. If she gets to it, she will die. He stops her, holding her back. She cries out, stunned and gutted, the sound of a mother convinced she is too late.
Then, through the chaos, Josephine and Anouk come into view together, safe. The panic breaks. Relief floods the frame.
What nearly destroys Vianne is not the fire itself, but the belief that she has lost what she loves. What saves her is the sudden return of what she thought was gone.
The night exhales.
Le Prix de la Joie
The Price of Joy
Morning arrives without ceremony.
Light slips into the room and finds Armande exactly where she said she would be—seated in her chair, hands at rest, her face calm. There is no sign of struggle, no reaching, no interruption. She has gone the way she lived: awake, at home, unafraid.
Her grandson comes to check on her and stops short. For a moment he simply stands there, understanding before he understands. Nothing has been taken from her. Nothing has been wrestled away.
What remains is not shock, but completion.
For Vianne, the loss lands differently. Armande was not only a friend, but a witness—someone who recognized pleasure not as rebellion, but as truth, and who lived accordingly without apology.
Roux comes to her soon after. He does not linger. He tells her he must go. They have already made too much visible. The night loosened too many things, and loosened things come with consequences. He does not speak of danger, but it hangs there anyway.
In the thin light of morning, Vianne loses both her anchor and her lover.
Joy has done what it always does: it has revealed itself, and in doing so, demanded payment.
At the funeral, the priest stands before the gathered village and turns Armande’s death into instruction. He does not speak of who she was, or how she lived. He speaks instead of foolishness, of indulgence, of temptation. He suggests that her choices hastened her end. He expresses hope that God might forgive her.
Joy is recast as sin. Pleasure as moral failure.
Vianne listens for a moment. Then she rises.
She does not interrupt. She does not protest. She walks out. Josephine follows without hesitation. They understand, without exchanging a glance, that this is not a farewell but a warning—not a remembrance of a life, but a condemnation of the way it was lived.
Behind them, the priest continues. What he calls righteousness is fear. What he names as virtue is refusal. The funeral becomes the village’s final attempt to reclaim authority over a woman who denied it even in death.
Outside, the air feels different.
Vianne and Josephine walk away together. They do not argue. They do not explain themselves. Their leaving is its own clarity. To remain would be to consent to the lie being told—that pleasure is the enemy of goodness, that joy must be punished to preserve order.
This, too, is the price of joy: that it will be judged even after it has passed.
And it is also its proof.
Le Vent du Nord
The North Wind
Caroline goes to the Comte late. The house feels smaller than it once did, as if it has begun to contract around him. He sits alone, diminished, the authority he once wore now slack on his frame. His wife has left. She is not coming back.
Caroline does not scold him. She sits close. She tells him quietly that it is all right—that no one will think less of him if she never returns. She stays longer than she needs to.
When she stands to leave, she wishes him good night and calls him Paul. Not formally. Not carefully. It is the first time we see her reach for him not as an ally of order, but as a woman offering human closeness. Something tentative begins to form.
It does not last.
Serge arrives almost at once. He does not pace or plead. He speaks plainly. He tells the Comte that he set the boat on fire. The hardest part, he says, was hearing the screams, seeing the faces. He shrugs and calls it an act of God. Then he reminds the Comte of his own words—you said something must be done.
The Comte recoils. For the first time, fear breaks through his composure.
People could have died, he says. You want their blood on my hands?
On yours? Serge asks, and suggests they go to the priest together, ask for forgiveness.
Something snaps.
The Comte explodes, shouting for Serge to leave the village at once and never return. What you have done, he tells him, puts you beyond help. Get out. Now. Unless you want to explain this to the police.
Serge panics, crying. The Comte keeps shouting until there is nothing left but exposure—no moral language, no authority, only fear laid bare.
Outside, the wind rises, hard and insistent, rattling the house as if to underline what has been unleashed.
Serge is gone.
La Réciprocité Révélée
Reciprocity Revealed
Josephine sees it before anything is said.
The suitcase on the bed. Open. Half-filled. Clothes folded with the familiar efficiency of someone who has done this many times before.
For a moment, she cannot move.
Vianne is leaving.
Then she crosses the room in a rush and slams the suitcase shut, hard enough to make the bed jump. The sound is sharp, final.
Didn’t you believe anything you told me? she demands. Did you not believe what you said?
Vianne does not turn right away. When she does, her face is tired, already braced. She says only that things are still the same. Nothing has changed.
Josephine stares at her.
They have for me, she says quietly.
The words land heavier than accusation. This is not anger. It is grief—raw, sudden, unhidden. The woman who has just learned how to stand is being asked to watch the ground disappear again.
Vianne says she needs to pack.
Josephine does not argue. She turns and runs.
Anouk does not want to go.
She senses it before she understands it—the tightening, the familiar readiness, the way leaving begins before it is named. Vianne reaches for the red cape, the one she has always worn when it is time to move on, when passion and momentum take over and the heart decides before the mind can object.
Anouk pulls away.
She fights it, small and fierce, refusing to let her mother fasten the cape around her shoulders. This time, she will not be wrapped in it. She will not be carried forward by it. The cape, once warmth and magic, now feels like erasure.
Vianne insists. The motion is practiced. Automatic. Suitcase open. Hands moving. The old choreography resumes.
They start down the stairs—Vianne with the suitcase in one hand, Anouk in the other, the descent steep and hurried, as if delay itself is dangerous.
And then everything slips.
The suitcase wrenches free. The container falls. It strikes the stairs and breaks open.
Ashes scatter.
Pale, unmistakable. Her mother’s remains spill across the steps, across the floor, across the space where leaving was meant to be clean and efficient. The motion stops everything mid-gesture.
Anouk cries out.
She drops to her knees, frantic, trying to gather what has been lost. She scoops at the floor with her hands, attempting to save what cannot be saved, to put back what has already dispersed. Her distress is immediate, embodied—this is grandmother, lineage, love, all reduced to something she cannot hold.
Vianne does not move.
She stands still, watching, emptied. There is no rush to fix it. No attempt to gather the ashes. No command to move on. For the first time, the pattern breaks.
The north wind still howls outside, insistent, demanding motion. But inside the shop, time fractures.
What has always been carried carefully, privately, contained—her mother’s inheritance, her mother’s leaving, her mother’s restlessness—is suddenly everywhere. No longer portable. No longer manageable. No longer something that can be packed and taken along.
The ashes cannot be returned to the container.
They cannot be gathered back into order.
They insist on presence.
This is the moment the wind loses its authority.
Leaving is no longer a clean act of will. It has consequences. It has residue. It leaves things behind.
And for the first time, Vianne is forced to stop—not because the wind has ceased, but because something heavier than movement has entered the room.
Grief. Belonging. The cost of always leaving.
The ashes on the floor do what no argument, no plea, no love affair has done before.
They make staying necessary.
Then she hears it—movement.
Vianne realizes she is no longer alone.
When she opens the door, the kitchen has changed. There is motion everywhere—hands moving, voices low, bodies shifting around one another with the easy familiarity of people who know what to do.
A bowl is passed. A counter wiped. Heat rises. Something is already melting.
She does not know who arrived first, or how long they have been there. Only that the space has filled.
Sleeves are rolled up. Flour hangs faintly in the air. A chair is drawn closer to the table. Someone steadies a pan; someone else reaches without looking, trusting another set of hands to be there.
They have come without announcement, without instruction. No one waits to be asked.
For the first time, what Vianne has given all along—warmth, shelter, care—moves back toward her, made visible through work.
The room hums.
And in the center of it, Josephine moves with quiet authority, showing, guiding, trusting. Not rescued. Not owed.
Belonging made practical.
They are making desserts.
Chocolate is being melted. Batter stirred. Dishes passed hand to hand. And at the center of it all is Josephine—steady now, grounded—showing them what to do. Teaching. Guiding. Leading.
For the first time, we see it clearly.
This woman, who has given shelter, warmth, courage, sweetness—who has fed and welcomed and held space for each of them—is no longer the only one giving.
They are giving back.
Not speeches. Not gratitude. Work. Presence. Care.
What Vianne offered them, they now return—not as repayment, but as recognition.
The kitchen hums.
Something shifts, irrevocably.
And for the first time, the wind does not have the final word.
La Tentation
Temptation
In the morning light, the Comte stands at the window. The village lies quiet again, restored to its familiar order. He looks out over it as he always has, searching for the words he will need.
He speaks them softly at first, then again, testing their weight. Each phrase sounds thin, rehearsed, hollow. The certainty he once relied on slips away as soon as it leaves his mouth.
He tries another sentence. Then another.
Nothing holds.
What once came so easily—command, instruction, judgment—now refuses to take shape.
Later, he is alone in the church. The space echoes faintly, holding the night inside it. He kneels—not in authority, not in confidence, but with the fatigue of someone who has reached the end of his own language.
I don’t know what to do, he says aloud. Help me.
In his hand is a dagger.
When he rises, it is not because an answer has come.
It is because fear has sharpened into resolve.
He flings open the church doors. The north wind meets him at once, driving him through the streets, carrying him forward as if resistance is no longer an option.
He reaches the chocolate shop and breaks in through a window. Glass scatters across the floor. He climbs inside.
The dagger moves first.
He slashes, shatters, dismantles—display after display collapsing under the blade. Chocolate breaks apart. Confections smear and fall. A small statue topples and shatters.
Beauty is punished carefully, methodically, as if excess itself must be erased.
And then a fragment strikes his mouth.
He stills.
Without thinking, he tastes it.
What follows is not indulgence.
It is collapse.
He grabs chocolate with his hands, shoving it into his mouth like someone starved—biting, tearing, laughing too loudly, gasping for breath. Control dissolves. The body overrides the will.
A man starved of emotion, bound by thought, released by the body.
The laughter falters.
It breaks.
Grief tears its way out of him.
He sinks to the floor amid the wreckage, smeared with chocolate, shaking as the ache beneath righteousness finally breaches containment—hunger exposed, not for sweetness, but for what has been denied.
Morning returns quietly.
The young priest walking past the shop pauses at the window. Inside, the Comte lies asleep among broken pieces, his face streaked with chocolate, the night’s destruction scattered around him.
Vianne enters quietly. She wakes him without hurry and presses a small bottle into his hand—a fizzy elixir, something to settle the stomach.
She does not ask questions. She already knows.
The Comte looks up at her. His eyes are emptied of authority now, heavy with a sadness he no longer tries to manage. After a moment, he says softly, I’m so sorry.
Vianne nods. She lets the apology stand without reply.
You need to clean up, she says gently. It’s Easter Sunday.
Panic flickers across the Comte’s face. I never finished the sermon.
The priest considers this, then smiles faintly. I’ll think of something.
Redemption does not arrive here through discipline or denial. It comes through collapse—through being undone. What the Comte could not speak, could not command, could not control had to be lived through the body and released as grief.
La Mesure de la Bonté
The Measure of Goodness
The young priest steps forward and looks out at the congregation. Something in him has softened. It is visible before he speaks.
The young priest stands before the congregation already changed. He does not hesitate or search for words. When he speaks, it is with a quiet steadiness that tells us the decision has already been made.
He says that when he was deciding what to speak about for the homily, he thought first of Christ’s divine transformation—of resurrection, of what came after death.
But no.
Not that.
Not that day.
Instead, he speaks of how Christ lived.
Of the way he moved among people. Of who he noticed. Of who he touched. Of how he crossed boundaries without announcing that he was crossing them.
He speaks of kindness—not as indulgence, but as attention. Of tolerance—not as permission, but as presence.
The church is quiet, not with restraint, but with listening.
Then he says what he can now see clearly.
Perhaps, he says, we have been measuring goodness the wrong way. Perhaps we have mistaken denial for virtue, restraint for holiness, exclusion for moral clarity.
Perhaps goodness has never been about what we refuse or resist or keep ourselves separate from.
He pauses—not to gather courage, but to allow the truth to arrive fully.
Maybe goodness is measured instead by what we embrace. By what we tend. By who we include.
The words do not instruct. They reveal.
We see it in the Comte. He inhales deeply, as if something long clenched has finally loosened. His face does not harden into authority or certainty. It opens into recognition.
Yes.
Exactly that.
Around him, the congregation responds almost without realizing it. Shoulders drop. Faces soften. A quiet relief moves through the room—not excitement, not spectacle, but the feeling of being released from a burden no one knew how to set down.
This is not a sermon of command. It is an invitation.
Grace is no longer framed as something to be earned through denial. It is something practiced—through attention, generosity, welcome.
And in that gentle reorientation, the village is offered a way forward—not away from faith, but back into its heart.
Later, the square fills with life.
Children run. Music spills into the open air. Someone juggles. Someone breathes fire. Bodies move freely now, unguarded. The priest stands among them with a glass of wine, no longer apart.
The Comte is there too. He tastes food and pauses—really tastes it—for the first time in a long while. Something in him has been released. We understand it will take time.
Months, perhaps, before he asks Caroline to dinner.
There is no rush.
When their eyes meet, he nods. She smiles. Enough has already shifted.
Josephine now presides over her husband’s former café, newly named Café Armande.
The woman who once hid now welcomes.
What was once a place of cruelty becomes a place of ease. This, too, is how goodness spreads—quietly, practically, without ceremony.
The next morning, the wind rises again.
It rattles the window the way it always has, impatient, insistent, carrying with it the familiar pull of elsewhere. Vianne stands still and listens.
For a moment, nothing moves.
Then she reaches for the container and opens it, stepping into the air just long enough to release what remains of her mother. The ashes lift, scatter, disappear.
She closes the window.
Inside, the house is quiet. Vianne goes back to bed.
Anouk watches her, waiting, and then she smiles. She understands without being told.
They are staying.
Outside, the north wind pushes once more against the walls, then eases. It lingers, uncertain, and then finally moves on.
Later, a different breeze arrives.
It is softer. Warmer.
It slips in from the south and opens the door without force.
Roux stands there, almost sheepish, saying he has come to fix it properly this time. Anouk runs straight into his arms.
Vianne pours hot chocolate for all three of them and sets the mug in Roux’s hands.
They stand together at the counter, close enough that the warmth gathers between them. Nothing ornate. No careful guessing. Just warmth ladled into waiting cups, chocolate meant to be held in both hands.
Roux takes a sip and pauses, resting his elbows against the worn wood as if he has nowhere else to be. Then he smiles.
This, he says, this is my favorite.
Vianne smiles back—soft, open, unguarded. Not because she has solved him, but because she hasn’t tried to.
She didn’t search for the right answer this time.
She simply offered what was there.
And that is what he wanted. Not to be deciphered or anticipated, but to be met as he is.
What takes shape here is not a promise spoken aloud, but a way of living: a life where no one is passing through, where warmth is made and shared, where they stay—and stay together.
Nothing has been conquered. Nothing has been sealed forever. What remains is continuity—a belonging chosen daily, a town learning, slowly, how to stay open.
The ending does not close anything.
It lets warmth in.
La Tasse Offerte
The Offered Cup
When I was trying to decide on a recipe for this post, it turned out to be simple.
It was the one thing Vianne could never guess: Roux’s hot chocolate.
With everyone else, she has an almost magical knowing—an ability to sense what will soothe, what will delight, what will make someone feel met. She anticipates without effort. She offers comfort as instinct.
With Roux, that knowing goes quiet.
Each time she tries to intuit his desire, she misses—not because he is withholding, but because he is not meant to be read that way. He does not want to be interpreted or completed by another’s insight. He does not want to be known in advance.
Roux resists being defined by appetite.
What draws him to Vianne is not her ability to understand him, but her willingness, at last, to stop trying.
The moment matters because something softens in her.
She offers him hot chocolate not as a demonstration of insight, not as performance, not as proof of knowing—but simply as care.
A warm cup placed in his hands. No expectation. No agenda.
Only then does he say, this is my favorite.
The meaning is gentle and precise.
Love here is not about being perfectly seen or fully understood. It is about being allowed to remain spacious, unpinned, free.
Roux’s favorite drink is the one that was not tailored to him, not guessed, not shaped around a hidden desire.
It is the offering made from presence alone.
And that, quietly, is everything.
Roux’s hot chocolate is not special because of what is in it. It is special because of what is absent: projection, control, interpretation.
It is warmth without demand.
There is a quiet ache this film leaves behind, one I did not expect and have not felt in quite the same way with any other story.
It touched something elemental in me—chocolate and desire, yes, but also austerity and pain; God and forgiveness; simplicity earned rather than imposed. Nothing here is loud. Nothing insists.
And yet everything lands.
What moved me most was not the romance, though it is tender, nor the pleasure, though it is lush. It was the way love is allowed to exist without conquest.
The way faith is returned to the human body. The way forgiveness is not demanded but discovered.
The way joy survives discipline, not by overpowering it, but by outlasting it.
This film understands that desire is not the opposite of goodness, and that restraint without mercy is not virtue.
It knows that love can be both fierce and gentle, that belonging can be chosen, that warmth is not weakness.
It lets sorrow breathe without rushing to resolve it.
It allows grief to soften into grace.
Watching it, I felt both seen and steadied.
Not excited—settled. As if something in me that had been bracing could finally rest.
The ache it leaves is not longing for more, but recognition: of what it means to live honestly, to offer without agenda, to stay when staying matters.
This is why it endures for me. Not as spectacle or comfort, but as reminder:
That goodness is not measured by what we deny ourselves. That love does not require guessing. That forgiveness arrives when we stop defending against it.
There is fire here, and tenderness.
Courage, and compassion.
A woman who knows when to move—and when, finally, to stay.
That balance—between heat and heart—is what lingers.
This is not a decorative hot chocolate. It isn’t frothed into spectacle or sweetened into excess.
Roux’s hot chocolate is simple, dark, and deeply warming—the kind of drink you hold with both hands. It belongs to night.
To water.
To music drifting from somewhere nearby.
It is chocolate in its oldest form: melted, bitter-sweet, alive.
In Chocolat, Roux resists truffles and elaborate confections. He doesn’t want refinement; he wants honesty. What finally undoes him is not luxury, but heat and presence—something elemental enough to bypass performance and go straight to the body.
This is a drink for surrender, not seduction. For staying rather than fleeing. For remembering what it feels like to be warm.
Ingredients
Scale
2 cups full-fat oat milk or unsweetened soy milk (oat for warmth and roundness, soy for depth)
2 oz high-quality vegan dark chocolate (70–75%), finely chopped
1–2 teaspoons maple syrup or dark brown sugar (to taste)
½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Pinch of sea salt
Optional: a very small pinch of chili powder or cayenne
Instructions
In a small saucepan, gently warm the plant milk over low heat. Do not rush this. Steam should rise, but the milk should never boil.
Add the chopped chocolate and whisk slowly until fully melted and smooth. Keep the heat low. Chocolate doesn’t like to be hurried.
Stir in the maple syrup or brown sugar, vanilla, and sea salt. Taste and adjust gently—this drink should remain grounded, not sweet-forward.
If using chili, add the tiniest pinch and whisk again. The heat should arrive late, like a memory.
Pour into mugs. Do not garnish. This drink does not want decoration.
Drink slowly.
Notes
This hot chocolate is intentionally not thick. It’s meant to flow, to be sipped, not eaten.
For a more elemental version, substitute ½ cup of the plant milk with water—closer to cacao’s ceremonial origins.
Best enjoyed without distraction. Music is welcome. Silence is better.
I watched Eat Drink Man Woman twice because something in me sensed I hadn’t finished receiving it.
The first viewing let the story move through me.
The second revealed how much had been happening quietly — in gesture, rhythm, silence, and what was left unsaid.
It felt like a film that did not reward haste.
It required listening.
That felt appropriate, given both the moment from which the film emerged and the director who made it.
The title itself reaches much further back than the film. Eat Drink Man Woman comes from the Book of Rites, one of the foundational Confucian texts, which names basic human desires not as moral failures, but as natural facts of being human.
The opening of the passage reads: “The things which men greatly desire are comprehended in food and drink and sexual pleasure.”
In this framing, appetite and desire are not problems to be solved or sins to be overcome; they are realities to be understood, ordered, and lived with care. The phrase eat, drink, man, woman emerges from this lineage — not as indulgence, but as acknowledgment.
Ang Lee, whose work also includes Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Brokeback Mountain, andLife of Pi, has returned again and again to the tension between inner truth and inherited structure — the ways family, culture, gender, and duty shape what can be spoken or lived.
What remains unexpressed in his films does not disappear; it migrates. It moves into the body, into gesture, into repetition, into food. Eat Drink Man Woman speaks that language fluently.
Released in the early 1990s, during a period of profound cultural transition in Taiwan, the film arrives at a moment when women were entering the workforce in unprecedented numbers, gaining financial independence and real authority over their futures.
Marriage was no longer inevitable.
Choice had entered the conversation.
And yet tradition had not vanished. It lingered — shaping expectation, silence, and obligation — even as new possibilities pressed against it. The film lives inside that overlap.
Confucian hierarchy remains woven through family meals and filial duty.
Buddhist sensibilities surface in patience, impermanence, and the understanding that attachment causes suffering.
Alongside them, Christian ideas quietly emerge — not as doctrine, but as posture: confession, truth-telling, beginning again.
What we witness is not replacement, but coexistence. A family — and a culture — learning how to hold more than one truth at the same time.
What Eat Drink Man Woman understands, and patiently unfolds, is that love never actually disappears.
It changes form.
When it cannot be spoken, it is cooked.
When it cannot be claimed, it is carried through ritual, lineage, and care.
Love as Practice
The film opens not with romance or conflict, but with Master Chef Chu’s hands at work. A revered chef in Taipei, we watch technique forged over decades—knives moving with certainty, textures judged by feel, timing held in the body rather than the clock.
The skills of a chef are not mechanical; they are fluid and intuitive, shaped by repetition until thought disappears.
Chu does not measure so much as listen—to heat, to resistance, to the moment when something is ready to become something else. His restraint is not limitation but mastery: knowing precisely when not to intervene.
Fish are scaled and filleted, dough is kneaded, broths are tended; the camera lingers on hands, steam, and silence as cooking reveals itself not as preparation but as art.
When the elaborate Sunday meal finally reaches the table, its abundance is met with deliberateness rather than conversation—the food speaking where the family does not.
This is the first love the film offers us: Sunday dinner, devotion to craft. Before family, before romance, before disappointment or longing, there is mastery—earned through repetition, reserve, and care.
Chu’s precision is aesthetic as much as technical. Each dish is composed the way an artist approaches canvas and brush.
Balance is intentional.
Color is considered.
Texture, temperature, and timing are arranged with the same deliberation as line and negative space.
Nothing is casual.
Nothing is improvised.
The plate becomes a finished work—complete, exacting, and self-contained.
Cooking is not a backdrop to Eat Drink Man Woman; it is its original language. Love enters the film first as practice—as discipline, as art rendered through the body.
Like a monk who fasts while feeding others, Master Chef Chu prepares elaborate meals with extraordinary precision, yet cannot taste them himself. Though the cause is never addressed directly in the film, symbolically Chu’s loss of taste reflects a deeper emotional condition.
He has lived a life shaped by discipline, temperance, and self-erasure—cooking exquisitely for others while denying himself pleasure, expression, and vulnerability.
Over time, devotion hardens into distance.
Feeling, like tasting, atrophies when it is never received back. His tastelessness mirrors his emotional silence: he can produce beauty, abundance, and nourishment, yet cannot receive them.
Pleasure has been externalized.
Sensation has been replaced by control.
His love is expressed not through language but through labor, not through confession but through devotion.
What he offers is presence, not pleasure.
There is something distinctly Buddhist in this posture: self-erasure in service, mastery without indulgence, repetition as devotion.
This understanding of love extends beyond family and romance and is most clearly embodied in Chu’s relationship with Uncle Wen.
The two men have worked side by side in the same kitchen for more than thirty years, moving together through rhythm and muscle memory rather than conversation.
Their intimacy is procedural, wordless, earned over time.
Love, here, is not spoken.
It is practiced.
Love as Devotion
The film is precise about where urgency appears and where meaning settles.
Master Chu is at home when the call comes to help his longtime friend, Chef Wen, at the restaurant. The two men are like brothers cut from the same cloth, having grown old together in the kitchen, their lives shaped by shared labor and quiet reliance.
Something has gone wrong: the soup for the Governor’s son’s wedding has failed. Chu arrives without urgency or display, restores what has been disrupted, and saves the dish through skill rather than spectacle.
Only after the work is finished do the two men finally sit together.
They share a drink. Wen, half-teasing and wholly sincere, compares Chu to Ludwig van Beethoven—a master whose genius is disciplined, uncompromising, and forged through relentless devotion rather than charm.
The compliment is not grand; it is intimate, offered between equals who recognize what the other has endured.
It is there—after labor, after urgency—that the words are spoken aloud:
Eat. Drink. Man. Woman.
The line lands softly, almost in passing.
Not as a title. Not as a declaration. As recognition.
Life reduced to its essentials. Meaning does not arrive during the rush; it comes afterward, when there is room to sit.
After the Rush
Later, back in the kitchen, Chef Wen tastes a soup Chu has made. At first, the exchange reads as familiar banter—heat, spice, teasing between men who have shared decades of work. Then Wen collapses.
By the time Chu’s daughter, Jia-Chien, reaches the hospital, the crisis has already shifted into aftermath.
Fear remains, but softened.
Wen is fine.
When Jia-Chien addresses him, she calls him Uncle Wen. In Taiwanese culture, kinship is not limited to blood; older family friends—those woven into daily life through care and continuity—are often called uncle, a title that signals closeness rather than lineage.
Jia-Chien is still visibly shaken, but Chef Wen laughs it off as indigestion from eating her father’s food.
There is relief.
Familiar joking.
Mortality has brushed past, just enough to loosen the usual hierarchy.
It is in this softened space that Jia-Chien speaks. For the first time, she admits that she wanted to become a chef. Her father dismisses it immediately—education mattered more, he insists.
She bristles. No one ever asked me what I wanted.
The line presses against an older order, one in which daughters were shaped by duty and rarely consulted about desire. It is Wen who answers her, gently and without authority. He tells her she would have made a fine chef.
The sentence is small.
The recognition is not.
It is the first time her talent is named aloud by someone not threatened by it.
He was one of the few voices willing to see her clearly without trying to shape her future.
Later, when Jia-Chien returns to the hospital, she is told that Wen has already left. He was not discharged; he simply went. The absence lands quietly, but its meaning lingers. His role was never formal, yet his presence carried weight.
The next time we see him, he is back in the restaurant, among his friends. He walks through the familiar space, takes a seat, and dies there—not in a hospital room, but in the place where his life had been practiced and shared.
Only then does the meaning settle.
His leaving was not denial. It was belonging.
In Buddhist terms, it is a right leaving—choosing the conditions of one’s final moments with awareness rather than resistance.
Love, here, is not sentimental.
It is fidelity.
The Daughters and the Inherited Script
At home, the phrase eat, drink, man, woman becomes an inherited framework — received differently by each daughter.
While the adults in Eat Drink Man Woman speak in philosophy, the daughters live love in practice — each discovering a different way it can become survivable, inhabitable, and real.
Jia-Jen, the eldest, is a chemistry teacher — resticent, cautious, almost deliberately plain. She does not wear makeup. She keeps her hair pulled back. Her clothing is modest, functional, designed not to draw attention. Having been hurt earlier in life, she moves through the world as though visibility itself were risky.
When anonymous love notes begin to appear, her first assumption is not desire but ridicule. She believes she is being mocked. That someone is playing a joke on her for daring to be noticed at all.
Love, to her, feels less like invitation than exposure.
It is in this state that she goes to confront the students at her school — and in that moment, something striking occurs.
She arrives transformed.
Her hair is styled.
She wears makeup.
She is dressed in a vivid red dress that refuses modesty or apology.
The shift is not flirtation. It is declaration.
The symbolism is unmistakable. She is not asking to be chosen; she is asserting that choice has always existed. The message beneath the confrontation is clear: I could be this if I wanted to be. The years of containment were not incapacity — they were protection.
Jia-Chien, the middle daughter, lives at the intersection of competence and restraint. She is an executive — capable, disciplined, respected — yet this life was not the one she originally wanted.
As a young woman, she longed to be a chef, to live inside the kitchen and the language of food. Her father shut that path down firmly, insisting she pursue education instead. What appears as success in adulthood still carries the residue of that early redirection.
In love, Jia-Chien remains unsettled. She drifts between relationships without fully committing, allowing closeness while keeping herself just beyond being claimed.
Most telling is her involvement with a man who insists he does not want to be tied down.
She accepts the terms — not because they satisfy her, but because they allow her to remain contained.
The arrangement feels honest, even safe, until she quietly learns that he has, in fact, chosen someone else to marry.
The rupture is internal and devastating.
There is no confrontation, no spectacle — only the confirmation of an old pattern: she has learned how to love without asking for more than is offered.
We see this most clearly in the kitchen, when Jia-Chien cooks dinner for him shortly after being offered a promotion at work. Professionally, she is ascending — recognized, expanded, rewarded. Yet the scene does not linger on her achievement.
Instead, it turns toward feeding him. Authority in the public world does not translate into claim or assertion in the private one. Intimacy remains the place where she offers rather than asks, balances rather than risks.
When Jia-Chien explains that she has prepared the duck two ways — one hot, one cold — she describes it simply. “Cooking is about balance,” she says. “Hot and cold have to be in harmony.”
When her boyfriend names it — yin and yang — she only nods.
Yes.
She frames it as culinary philosophy: cooling and warming, austerity and intensity held in careful proportion.
But what she is really describing is how she has learned to love.
The hot dish carries effort, care, and desire. The cold dish holds distance, control, and self-containment. Together, they allow her to remain present without being fully exposed.
Love, here, is not refused — it is portioned. Balanced carefully enough that nothing overwhelms, nothing demands too much.
This is not a failure of feeling, but an act of self-preservation. Jia-Chien does not lack depth or devotion; she has learned to regulate them precisely. Balance becomes a way of staying intact when full surrender feels too costly.
For now, her story remains suspended — between heat and cold, mastery and longing, offering and withholding — unresolved, but deeply alive.
Cooking is where she is most alive, most honest, most herself. Love, for Jia-Chien, does not culminate in a man but in vocation: in choosing a life shaped by devotion and being recognized within it.
Her arc does not resolve through romance, but through mutual recognition — finally being met by her father as an equal who speaks the same language of care.
The youngest, Jia-Ning, comes to love through ease rather than struggle. She falls for a man who is initially dating her friend — a woman who keeps him waiting, keeps him longing, keeps him suspended in emotional uncertainty.
Jia-Ning offers something radically different.
With her, he can speak freely, be himself, laugh, and rest. Their pivotal conversation is not about romance but about what it feels like to love someone — to be unguarded, to talk as you are, to exist without performance.
Love, for Jia-Ning, is not drama or longing. It is immediacy.
Honesty.
Shared presence.
Together, the daughters quietly expand the meaning of eat, drink, man, woman. Love is not a single destination. It is lived — as permission, as vocation, as home.
(Sidenote: In Taiwanese naming conventions, the family name comes first — Chu — followed by the given name. All three daughters share the generational name “Jia,” signaling lineage before individuality. Identity precedes choice.)
Mrs. Liang and the Language of Release
Into this household enters Mrs. Liang with a clear intention: to make Master Chef Chu her husband. But the self she brings with her is not an offering; it is an approximation.
Rather than attuning to who Chu actually is, she presents what she imagines might be desirable—performing sophistication, provocation, and worldliness.
She smokes.
She speaks in sharp aphorisms.
She carries herself as though sentiment were a weakness.
She presents herself as unencumbered by sentiment.
Yet she misses every cue he gives her.
The misattunement is constant and revealing. She smokes cigarettes beside him while he coughs, never pausing to notice his body’s response.
She puts her cigarette out not in an ashtray, but in the food he has prepared — a gesture so casually invasive it borders on desecration.
What he has made with care and precision becomes the surface onto which she extinguishes her impulse.
It is not intimacy; it is intrusion.
Symbolically, the moment says everything.
She wants closeness, but she cannot recognize the language of his devotion.
She wants to be desired, but she has no capacity for attunement.
Rather than meeting him where he lives — in stillness, ritual, sensory precision — she imposes herself onto his world, confusing presence with pressure.
Her contradictions stem from this same lack of integration. She speaks of detachment while craving attachment, dismisses children while interrogating the daughters about boyfriends, derides marriage while angling for proximity.
These are not complexities held in tension; they are fragments colliding without regulation.
Mrs. Liang does not metabolize experience — she reacts to it. Her nervous system leads, her philosophy follows.
In this way, she becomes a study in unintegrated desire: a woman who has language for suffering but no capacity to stay present inside relationship.
She wants to be what she thinks he wants, rather than perceiving who he is.
And in doing so, she illustrates one of the film’s sharpest truths — that desire without attunement does not create intimacy.
It creates noise.
Love, Pain, and Integration
Watching these stories unfold, I realized the film was no longer asking me to interpret love. It was asking me to recognize it.
I thought of Sean, my first love. He carried a vision of adulthood shaped by youth, culture, and tradition—a future that was orderly and legible, oriented toward stability and the familiar promises of the American dream. Love, as he understood it, was meant to secure that future, not complicate it.
We did not yet have the language to understand one another. I was not bound by inherited expectations; I set my own. I lived by a different set of rules, saw the world less restrictively, trusted openness more than prescription.
I believed, then, that love could resolve difference if given enough room—that it could soften even the most rigid structures. What I did not yet understand was that love cannot always translate between worlds shaped by different grammars.
One night after work, Sean came to see me. He drove all the way from St. Louis to Columbia. We spent two days together—quiet, ordinary, intimate without declaration. And then I never heard from him again.
That was it.
It was over. No explanation. No late-night apologies. No attempt to soften the leaving.
Just gone.
Later, I learned he had already been in a relationship with his neighbor for much of that time—nearly six months. The knowledge did not arrive as betrayal so much as clarification.
The disappearance was not confusion; it was a choice made elsewhere, in a life already moving in a direction I was never meant to inhabit.
That kind of ending does something to a person. It teaches the wrong lesson with absolute clarity: that love disappears without warning, that closeness invites abandonment, that the safest way to survive attachment is to limit it.
Over time, love begins to feel less like shelter and more like risk—something to be approached carefully, or held at a distance.
Between the first viewing of the film and the second, a dream arrived—quietly—about him. I was at his mother’s house, a place dense with memory and lineage. She led me to his room gently, almost ceremonially.
Sean was thin, very sick. When I reached for him, even the slightest pressure caused him pain. I pulled back immediately. The message was unmistakable: love, even when tender, could not touch him without hurting him. Love did not heal. It witnessed.
Seen through the lens of the tarot spread I later pulled, the dream revealed itself not as loss, but as integration. Love and pain had long been bound together there, but not by necessity. The pain did not arise from love; it predated it.
In sitting with him—without fixing, without holding, without trying to take the suffering away—something finally settled. What my subconscious was releasing was an old equation it had carried for years: that love must always arrive through pain.
Last May, my heart broke once again—I received a phone call from my best friend telling me that Sean had died by suicide.
My heart broke not only because he was gone, but because no one had seen it coming. By all outward accounts, he was fine. He was working. He was partnered. He was building a life that appeared stable and legible.
Whatever pain he carried had remained carefully contained, invisible even to those closest to him.
There is one more detail I have never known what to do with. In the months before his death, someone reached out to me online under a benign, forgettable name.
He loved to cook.
He asked practical questions—about ingredients, about places I like to visit, about how I lived.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing confessional.
It felt domestic.
Gentle.
Familiar.
Shortly before Sean died, the messages stopped.
Some connections do not announce themselves clearly. They arrive sideways—through food, curiosity, proximity—and sometimes leave the same way.
Without explanation. Without resolution.
What remained was not closure, but recognition.
And it was only then that the film came back into focus—not as a story about love lost or love withheld, but as a meditation on what love requires when it can no longer act.
The deliberateness it asks for.
The listening it demands.
The courage to remain present without intrusion.
What the film also makes room for—quietly, without defense—is the idea that tradition is not the final authority on love. That inherited expectations, however well-intentioned, are not the same thing as truth.
Love does not always arrive in approved forms. It does not wait for consensus. Sometimes it appears where it is least expected, asking not for permission but for courage.
This was the lesson I could not yet see with Sean. We were both living inside visions shaped by tradition—his more tightly bound than mine—but neither of us yet knew how to step outside them together.
Love came anyway.
And when it left, it left behind a belief that would take years to loosen: that breaking from expectation leads only to loss.
The film gently argues otherwise.
In the world of the film, as in life, love does not always arrive as comfort. Sometimes, it arrives as heartache.
And sometimes, it arrives asking to be chosen—despite tradition, despite appearances, despite what others think should make sense.
Balance at the Table
At the final dinner, Master Chef Chu, after throwing back a few glasses of sorghum liquor, announces that he has something he needs to tell everyone. The daughters do not speak. The table stills. What follows is not interruption or protest, but attention.
He tells them first that he is selling the house. The declaration lands not as logistics, but as rupture. The home that has held ritual, hierarchy, and inheritance will no longer anchor the family. What has been preserved for decades is being released.
And when he finally speaks again, it is not to reclaim control, but to relinquish it. The reason he’s selling the house is because he’s getting married.
The things we viewers have witnessed, a cardiologist visit. The herbal tonic prepared not out of vanity, but out of longing—all of it begins to align. Chu has been readying himself to love again, to risk desire with a body disciplined by decades of renunciation.
Seen this way, Chu was never simply guarding ritual or clinging to authority.
He was watching.
Waiting.
Preparing.
His marriage is not to Mrs. Liang, with her loud philosophies and invasive certainty, but to her daughter, Jin-Rong—a woman quieter in temperament, steadier in presence, attentive in ways her mother never was. The choice reframes everything that came before.
Chaos follows. Food spills. Control loosens.
The household unravels—not as failure, but as release. In that moment, the patriarch steps out of mastery and into appetite, and the family’s long-held balance finally tips, making room for a different kind of order.
Jin-Rong is younger, reserved, and almost self-effacing. She arrives not with philosophy or performance, but with presence. She has a small daughter whom Chu loves without hesitation, and whom she trusts him to love.
What becomes clear, without speech or insistence, is that Jin-Rong does not want what she imagines life with him could provide.
She does not project onto him or reshape herself to be desirable.
She sees him—not the master chef, not the patriarch, not the symbol—but the man himself.
And he loves her in return, not as a solution to loneliness or continuity, but as a mutual recognition.
In choosing her, Chu chooses attunement over provocation, integration over performance, and love that is practiced quietly rather than demanded loudly.
The film does not reward noise. It rewards recognition.
And then the film ends where it began.
Learning to Taste Again
When Jia-Chien buys the family home, the gesture is quiet, almost easy to miss — and that is precisely its power. This is not nostalgia, nor retreat. It is not a daughter clinging to the past after the patriarch leaves.
It is inheritance transformed into choice.
For the first time, the house does not belong to authority or obligation; it belongs to someone who has consciously decided to remain.
Throughout the film, the house has functioned as an extension of Master Chu’s authority — a place governed by ritual, silence, and mastery. Jia-Chien once refused to cook in its kitchen, saying she would be stealing her father’s thunder.
Her talent was too close to his, too threatening in a world where kitchens were not meant to belong to daughters. Buying the house does not reverse that tension; it resolves it.
She does not take his place.
She takes responsibility on her own terms.
When Chu returns to the house at the end of the film, something essential has shifted. It is no longer his domain. Jia-Chien is in the kitchen, preparing food for him. The roles have changed without announcement.
They eat, and almost instinctively fall into critique. He tells her she has used too much ginger.
She fires back that he has always been too restrained.
The exchange is familiar — the language they have always shared.
And then, unexpectedly,
Chu stops.
He tastes again.
For the first time in years, he says he can actually taste the food.
The moment is revelatory for both of them.
For Chu, it suggests that mastery — repetition, control, perfection — had dulled sensation itself. He had been cooking endlessly, but no longer tasting.
Eating food prepared by someone else, especially by his daughter, returns him to the body, to appetite, to pleasure.
For Jia-Chien, it is confirmation that inheritance does not require imitation.
She has not surpassed him or replaced him.
She has allowed him to experience something new.
Buying the house makes this possible. It turns legacy into stewardship rather than dominance. The space is preserved, but softened.
Tradition remains, but it is no longer enforced through hierarchy. Jia-Chien becomes the holder of continuity without becoming its warden — capable of remaining without being trapped, of caring without controlling.
This is the same balance she once described with the duck: hot and cold, intensity and measuredness, held in proportion.
Each daughter resolves inheritance differently.
Jia-Jen chooses late love.
Jia-Ning chooses motion.
Jia-Chien chooses ground. Her decision to buy the house is not about settling down; it is about holding space.
And in that final act of tasting — ginger sharp on the tongue, restraint loosened just enough — the film closes not with mastery, but with reciprocity.
Authority gives way to relationship.
Silence gives way to recognition.
And for the first time, everyone can finally taste what has been there all along.
He takes her hands.
“Daughter.”
“Father.”
It is quiet.
It is everything.
Why This Soup
Earlier, Jia-Chien describes cooking duck two ways — one hot, one cold. Yin and yang. Balance, not resolution.
That is why I watched the film twice.
Some truths do not announce themselves. They reveal themselves only when we slow down enough to taste them.
I did not choose miso soup because it belongs neatly to the film’s geography. I chose it because it belongs to its philosophy.
Hot broth. Cold tofu.
Balance is not imposed.
It is honored.
In the Book of Rites, desire is not condemned — it is acknowledged, then held with care. Food and love are not problems to be solved, but realities to be tended.
And that, finally, is what love has to do with it.
The broth is warm, savory, and deeply grounding — miso softened by ginger and a hint of sesame, not aggressive, not loud. It doesn’t announce itself. It settles. Into that warmth, cold silken tofu is added gently, its texture almost custard-like, barely holding together. The contrast is immediate but not jarring: heat meeting cool, firmness yielding to softness. Each spoonful shifts as you eat it — first comforting, then clarifying, then steady.
What makes the soup work is not complexity, but restraint. The tofu doesn’t try to become the broth, and the broth doesn’t overpower the tofu. They remain distinct, in conversation rather than competition. The result is something calming and nourishing, a dish that asks you to slow down and notice — the temperature, the texture, the way balance is created not by sameness, but by contrast held with care.
It is the kind of soup that doesn’t fix anything. It simply sits with you — warm, steady, enough
Ingredients
Scale
4 cups vegetable stock or water
1 strip kombu
2–3 tablespoons white or yellow miso
1 teaspoon grated ginger
1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
8 ounces silken tofu, kept cold, cut into cubes
Scallions, sliced on a steep bias
Instructions
Warm the stock gently with the kombu.
Remove the kombu before simmering.
Lower the heat and dissolve the miso in a ladle of broth, then stir it back in.
Add ginger and sesame oil. Taste quietly.
Remove from heat and gently add the cold tofu.
Serve immediately.
The heat softens. The cold steadies. Neither dominates. Nothing disappears.
Notes
Chef’s Note
This soup is less about technique and more about timing. Resist the urge to overwork it. Miso should never boil, and silken tofu should never be stirred aggressively — both lose their integrity when pushed. Let the broth be warm and settled before introducing the tofu, and allow the contrast to remain. The cold tofu is not meant to disappear; it’s meant to temper the heat.
Taste quietly. Adjust gently. This is a dish that rewards patience, not precision.
Serve it when you need grounding rather than spectacle — when what’s required is balance, not brilliance.
What aging, feminism, and pop culture reveal about the difference between being seen and being whole
The Cultural Moment of Loudness
There’s a cultural moment I’ve been paying attention to—particularly among women in their early to mid-forties—where sexuality suddenly becomes louder, more visible, more declared.
Before anything else, it’s important to say what this is not: it is not sex-shaming.
A woman’s sexuality is her own.
Always.
She can use it, express it, sell it, withhold it, explore it, or transform it in whatever way she chooses.
But ownership and performance are not the same thing.
What I’m interested in isn’t whether sexuality is being expressed, but where it’s being sourced.
Whether it emerges from embodiment or from pressure.
Whether it reflects desire—or negotiates fear.
Ownership Is Not Performance
In my Women’s Studies class in college, I was once asked to write a paper advocating for pornography from a feminist perspective. I entered that assignment convinced porn was the demise of women.
And to be honest, I still believe it can be exploitative, coercive, and deeply harmful when power is uneven or consent is compromised. That belief hasn’t disappeared.
My reaction wasn’t directed at my professor—I wasn’t offended or chastised. I was angered by the task itself.
It felt like a betrayal of women, of feminism, of what I had believed the movement was meant to safeguard.
Not because sexuality was being examined, but because it was being reduced—treated as proof of liberation rather than something that required discernment, context, and internal authority.
I wasn’t ready to separate sexuality from exploitation, or desire from harm. My anger came from that collision: moral clarity slamming into intellectual complexity.
And yet, that anger is what made me stay.
Learning to Hold Two Truths
Staying forced me to sit inside discomfort rather than exit it.
To hold opposing truths at once.
To resist the urge to flatten complexity into certainty.
In hindsight, I can see how that moment trained something in me—an ability to trace parallels between ideas that appear unrelated on the surface but belong to the same underlying current.
It may be why my writing lately moves the way it does, threading together feminism, food, film, lineage, embodiment, and identity without forcing tidy resolution.
The cohesion doesn’t come from sameness; it comes from attention.
That exercise didn’t erase my concerns, but it dismantled my rigidity. It pushed me to think in terms of agency rather than optics, authorship rather than outcome.
I had to acknowledge that the same act—sexual display, performance, even commodification—can mean radically different things depending on who is choosing it, who controls it, and who ultimately benefits.
This distinction, articulated with clarity and rigor by thinkers like bell hooks, stayed with me. (And yes—she insisted on lower-casing her name, a quiet refusal of ego and hierarchy, which somehow feels inseparable from her work itself.)
Midlife, Ego, and the Cost of Being Seen
It’s why, now, when I circle back to performative sexuality—especially in this early-to-mid-forties cultural moment—I’m not reacting from prudishness or judgment. I’m asking a deeper question: What is a woman trying to do with it?
Because performative sexuality communicates.
Sometimes it says, I am reclaiming my body.
Sometimes it says, I refuse to disappear.
Sometimes it says, I was never allowed to want before.
And sometimes—more quietly, more uncomfortably—it says, I need to be seen in order to feel real.
This is where it begins to resemble what we casually call a midlife crisis.
In psychological frameworks influenced by Carl Jung, life unfolds in two broad movements.
The first half of life is devoted to building the ego: establishing identity, securing belonging, achieving visibility, constructing a self that can function in the world.
Performance matters here.
Recognition matters.
Desire reflected back matters.
In that sense, performative sexuality fits squarely within ego development. It answers the question: Do I exist in the eyes of others?
The second half of life asks something very different.
Rather than Who am I to the world? it asks, Who am I when the world is no longer watching?
The task shifts from construction to dismantling, from accumulation to integration.
The ego that once protected us must loosen if we’re to become whole. If a woman enters this threshold still needing visibility to feel real, the instinct may be to amplify performance rather than release it.
What looks like confidence can sometimes be the ego’s last stand.
Perhaps that’s why this period feels destabilizing. It isn’t collapse that hurts—it’s resistance to collapse.
A Cultural Case Study: All Fours
This is also why Miranda July’s All Fours has felt so resonant—and yet so incomplete—to me.
Many women read the book and felt immediate recognition: finally, a voice for sexuality in your forties.
That response makes sense.
The hunger is real.
The silence around midlife desire has been real.
But recognition alone isn’t resolution.
The novel’s desire is urgent, reactive, almost breathless. It isn’t so much inhabited as discharged.
Action becomes proof of aliveness.
Desire must be enacted immediately or risk disappearing.
The body becomes a site of evidence:
I still exist.
I am still wanted.
I am still real.
I’ve noticed echoes of this same urgency not just in literature, but across pop culture more broadly—even among some of my favorite female artists.
I struggle most with the contradiction. Two of my favorite female musicians openly claim the language of strength, feminism, and autonomy—values I respect and, in many ways, share.
And yet lately, what follows those declarations often feels less like embodiment and more like insistence.
In the wake of rupture—career reinvention, divorce, public re-positioning—sexual display intensifies until it becomes the dominant signal. At that point, I have to ask what work the sexuality is doing.
Because sex, culturally speaking, is not neutral terrain. It has long been shaped by male desire, male consumption, male approval.
To use it is not inherently disempowering—but to rely on it, especially as proof of strength or relevance, risks reinforcing the very structures feminism claims to resist.
When sexuality becomes performative rather than integrated—when it asks to be witnessed, affirmed, rewarded—it can begin to feel less like self-possession and more like negotiation.
This is the tension I can’t ignore: what does it mean to claim liberation while speaking in the most familiar language of patriarchy?
When desire is foregrounded without containment, without discernment, without an interior counterweight, it can read less as expression and more as compliance disguised as choice.
That doesn’t make it immoral.
But it does make it worth questioning.
Women whose intelligence and creativity are undeniable sometimes lean more heavily on sexual performance at precisely the moment when their interior lives appear to be deepening.
That tension isn’t disappointing—it’s revealing.
Expression Without Integration
What keeps surfacing for me is that without integration, all of this—desire, expression, disruption, visibility—can start to feel messy rather than meaningful.
Not morally messy, but psychically so.
Expression multiplies, but nothing is being metabolized.
Motion increases without direction.
What’s missing isn’t permission—it’s coherence.
Part of the fragmentation, I think—and this is simply my own view—comes from the fact that midlife sexuality is still so often treated as something outside of women rather than something that unfolds within them.
For generations, women have had to take a stand around sexuality because it was never allowed to integrate internally in the first place.
Desire was regulated, moralized, exploited, or extracted long before it could be inhabited.
Expression became a defense before it could become a language.
Seen this way, the current moment isn’t really a war or a battlefield at all—it’s a developmental gap.
What’s being asked for now isn’t louder permission or sharper rebellion, but understanding: of process, of timing, of how sexuality integrates into a woman’s interior life rather than being performed against the world.
From Girl Power to Objectification
This cultural moment also can’t be separated from body image, the youth ideal, and structural ageism. Women are taught—explicitly and implicitly—that desirability peaks early and declines rapidly.
Youth becomes currency. Aging becomes erosion. As women move further from the cultural ideal, the pressure to compensate intensifies. Sexual visibility becomes a way to resist disappearance. Performance becomes proof of relevance.
An article I read in The Atlantic sharpened this further, tracing how a strain of feminism collapsed under its own slogans.
What began as empowerment language—Girl Power, autonomy, choice—slowly morphed into something flatter and more marketable once absorbed into reality-TV aesthetics, influencer culture, and algorithmic visibility.
Sophie Gilbert’s book Girl on Girl develops this argument more fully, showing how pop culture trained women to monitor, brand, compare, and commodify themselves while calling it empowerment. The gaze didn’t disappear—it was internalized.
Sexuality became something to manage rather than inhabit.
This helps explain the growing disconnect many women feel between what they genuinely want—emotional closeness, communication, safety, depth—and what they feel pressured to project. Performance steps in where intimacy feels uncertain.
Attention is sought because closeness isn’t guaranteed.
The body is offered because connection feels risky.
This doesn’t make women shallow.
It makes them human in a culture still organized around the male gaze.
When Visibility Becomes a Template
This is where the conversation stops being abstract.
When my 13-year-old daughter starts trying to dress provocatively because that’s how her 20-year-old sister dresses, the ambiguity I’ve been wrestling with suddenly matters in real time. Not as a feminist debate, but as a developmental one.
At thirteen, a girl doesn’t yet have the interior scaffolding to distinguish owning sexuality from performing it.
Her relationship to sexuality is observational and mimetic. She learns by watching what seems to grant status, belonging, or attention.
My twenty-year-old and I have circled this conversation more times than I can count.
What does embodied sexuality actually look like if it isn’t borrowed from performance—if it doesn’t rely on dressing like a caricature of desire? What does it mean to feel sensual, confident, alive in your body without turning that feeling into a public announcement?
That’s where the word modesty enters the room, trailing so much misunderstanding behind it that it’s almost unusable. Modesty has been compressed into repression, shame, or fear—something imposed rather than chosen.
But at its root, modesty isn’t about hiding the body.
It’s about containment (a word I’ve used a lot lately).
About deciding that not everything needs to be made available, that intimacy has a rhythm, that desire deepens when it isn’t constantly externalized.
Embodied sexuality doesn’t ask, How do I look? It asks, How do I feel inside myself?
It’s not loud. It doesn’t need to persuade or provoke. It doesn’t borrow its cues from porn, from algorithms, from male approval, or from competition with other women.
It moves differently.
You feel it in posture, in eye contact, in ease.
In the way someone inhabits their space without apology or performance.
It’s the difference between offering yourself as an image and standing as a presence.
So maybe the question isn’t whether modesty is a dirty word. Maybe the question is whether we’ve lost the language for sexuality that belongs to the self before it belongs to the world.
A sexuality that isn’t afraid of boundaries because it isn’t trying to prove anything. One that understands that mystery isn’t weakness, and that withholding can be a form of power.
That’s the conversation I keep trying to have—not about what not to wear, but about what it feels like to live in your body without turning it into a billboard.
When what’s being modeled is sexuality as display, the lesson absorbed isn’t confidence—it’s that visibility equals value.
That’s where the harm enters. Not through sexuality itself, but through premature performance.
A grown woman experimenting with sexual display may be negotiating aging or identity.
A teenage girl doing the same is often negotiating belonging.
And belonging is a far more dangerous motivator than desire.
Returning Desire to Its Source
If this writing—and my writing lately in general—feels as though it moves in many directions at once, it’s because it’s not trying to resolve into a single thesis.
The New Year’s post, the reflections on the women in my lineage, the sutta, this meditation on sexuality and midlife—and even the way films like Tampopo and Eat Drink Man Woman have quietly surfaced these questions for me—are all doing the same work.
What looks scattered is actually attentive. (Side note: I’ll be writing more directly about Eat Drink, Man Woman in the next post.) It’s listening for patterns rather than forcing conclusions.
At the end of the day, what I’m really saying is simple. Sexuality—like meaning—doesn’t begin with visibility. It begins with inhabitation. It’s something you feel before you see it, something others sense long before it’s announced.
When sexuality is owned, it doesn’t need to perform. It doesn’t scatter itself or ask to be confirmed. It’s quiet, contained, and selective—not because it’s hidden, but because it’s integrated.
From this place, being seen becomes incidental rather than essential. And that distinction matters, especially in a culture that confuses exposure with power.
What midlife offers—if we’re willing to accept it—is the chance to let performance fall away and return desire to its source.
Not as something to prove, but as something to live inside.
At some point, the conversation stops being about clothes or trends and becomes a question of where sexuality lives. Is it something we perform outwardly in order to be legible, or something we cultivate inwardly and reveal selectively?
Embodied sexuality doesn’t need spectacle to exist. It announces itself through presence, through ease, through a body that is inhabited rather than displayed.
Maybe modesty isn’t a retreat or a punishment after all, but a choice to hold something precious with care. Not everything that is powerful needs to be visible, and not everything that is visible is powerful.
What endures—across generations, across cultures, across time—is the kind of sexuality that doesn’t ask to be seen, because it already knows itself.
I’m not setting resolutions this year.
I’m not interested in goals that live outside my body like commandments.
January 1 is an arbitrary line, and resolutions tend to be just as arbitrary.
Most of them aren’t born from readiness or truth—they’re imposed.
Cultural pressure.
Collective agreement.
The idea that change should begin on cue, regardless of season, capacity, or what the body is actually prepared to hold.
For most people, resolutions feel less like desire and more like burden.
Something to carry.
Something to prove.
They start out strong, fueled by adrenaline and guilt, mistaking intensity for sustainability.
And then—quietly—they dissolve.
The pattern is almost universal.
By mid-January, about 25–30% of people have already abandoned their resolutions.
By early February, nearly 80% are no longer actively following them.
The average resolution lasts 19 to 30 days before disappearing without ceremony.
By six months, only 8–10% of people are maintaining any meaningful change.
This isn’t a failure of discipline.
It’s a failure of framing.
Most resolutions ask the body to obey an idea it never consented to.
They live in language, not lived experience.
They demand consistency without offering ground.
They assume willpower can override rhythm, season, nervous system, grief, fatigue, and truth.
And that disconnect has a history.
The idea that the year begins on January 1 is relatively modern. It comes from the Gregorian calendar, introduced in the 16th century to standardize time for governance, taxation, and church administration.
Time was made legible to power.
Measurable.
Countable.
The beginning of the year was fixed to a date on paper—not to what was happening in the natural world, and not to what was happening inside the body.
January arrives in the dead of winter, when much of life is dormant, conserving, waiting.
And yet we are told: begin.
Decide.
Commit.
Accelerate.
Before January 1 became the beginning, time wasn’t ruled by a single date at all.
It was plural.
Regional.
Embodied.
Local
What existed before wasn’t chaos.
It was context.
The beginning of the year was fixed to a date on paper—rather than to anything the body, the land, or the sky could actually feel.
January arrives in the dead of winter for much of the Northern Hemisphere.
The ground is frozen.
Trees are bare.
Animals are conserving.
Nothing is beginning.
And yet we are asked—psychologically, culturally, economically—to start.
To declare intentions.
To manufacture momentum where nature itself is resting.
This dissonance is subtle, but it’s real. It teaches us to override our own rhythms in favor of an abstract schedule.
Older and more mystical calendars understood time differently. They did not imagine time as a straight line broken into equal squares, but as a living cycle—one that bends, pauses, darkens, and returns.
These systems oriented the year around movement and light: solstices and equinoxes, planting and harvest, waxing and waning.
Time was not something you kept. It was something you participated in.
In many Native American traditions across North America, the new year begins in spring.
Not because it is neat or convenient, but because it is obvious.
The soil softens.
Water moves again.
Seeds split open underground before anything is visible above the surface.
Birds return.
Life resumes its outward breath.
The year begins when motion becomes undeniable—when even the most resistant observer must admit that something has shifted.
In much of Asia, including Chinese traditions, the new year follows the lunar calendar, beginning with the new moon sometime between late January and mid-February.
This timing isn’t symbolic in the way modern rituals often are.
It’s energetic.
The moon governs tides, sleep, hormones, planting cycles, and inner states.
A lunar new year aligns the psyche with an actual change in momentum—a felt turning rather than a declared one.
Across all of these systems—solar, lunar, agricultural, ancestral—the common thread is this:
The year does not begin because we say it does.
It begins because life moves again.
Time, in these traditions, is not commanded. It is listened for.
The year begins when life moves again.
2025: The Snake, the Lovers, and the Ace of Pentacles
2025 was the Year of the Snake — a year of unraveling forward.
Not collapse.
Not destruction.
The Snake does not burn things down; it exposes the seams. It reveals what has been living too tightly wound for too long.
It sheds skin not out of drama, but necessity.
What could no longer breathe began to loosen.
What had been hidden by habit, loyalty, fear, or endurance rose to the surface—often through discomfort, sometimes through quiet clarity, always through truth.
This kind of unraveling isn’t chaotic.
It’s precise.
The Snake doesn’t rush.
It waits until the old skin is no longer viable, then slips free.
And once it does, there’s no going back inside what’s already been outgrown.
I don’t work with a single symbol in isolation. I pay attention to sequence.
The year itself carries an archetype—in this case, the Year of the Snake—and I pair that with my tarot birthday card for the year, and with the question I return to annually: Who am I becoming?
Together, they form a kind of triangulation. Not prediction, but orientation.
Paired with my tarot card for 2025, The Lovers, the Snake’s unraveling demanded discernment.
Not romance.
Not fantasy.
Alignment.
The Lovers isn’t about passion—it’s about choice with consequence. It reveals where we are split, where what we say and how we live quietly contradict each other. Where desire and values drift out of integrity.
Once something was revealed, I couldn’t unknow it.
Once I saw where I was divided, I was no longer innocent.
I had to choose—not impulsively, not idealistically, but honestly.
And when I asked the deck my annual question—Who am I becoming?—the answer was the Ace of Pentacles.
Not abundance as reward.
That’s how the symbols spoke to each other.
The Snake unraveled what wasn’t true.
The Lovers demanded alignment.
And the Ace of Pentacles made that alignment real.
Not by promising more—but by asking me to live what I already knew.
Not payoff.
Seed.
Something small enough to be overlooked, but real enough to change everything once planted.
Not a promise of abundance someday, but the beginning of responsibility now.
A truth no longer held in the mind or spoken aloud in careful language, but placed directly into the physical world—where it could be tested by time, effort, and repetition.
My new job.
Not as an achievement, but as an embodiment.
A daily practice of values instead of a theory about them.
Showing up.
Learning the terrain.
Letting consistency do what insight alone never could.
This wasn’t manifestation in the mystical sense—it was commitment in the mundane one.
Alarm clocks.
Schedules.
Decisions made even when the feeling wasn’t there.
There was also a leaving.
Not dramatic. Not sudden. Not fueled by anger.
It came from the same place as the seed.
A recognition that something I had been tending could no longer grow without costing me my own steadiness.
That staying required distortion.
That care had become management.
That love had been replaced by vigilance.
What I stepped away from was not just a person, but a pattern.
One that asked me to shrink my nervous system, soften my truth, and normalize instability as intimacy.
One that confused endurance with loyalty and silence with peace.
The Ace of Pentacles doesn’t negotiate with that.
It doesn’t ask for sacrifice dressed up as commitment. It asks for a life that can be repeated without harm.
Leaving was not an act of loss. It was an act of placement.
Placing myself back into a life that could be lived daily—without bracing, without apology, without needing to explain why steadiness mattered.
This was not escape. It was alignment made physical.
A boundary drawn not in words, but in days.
And once the seed is planted, there’s no returning to the ground that could not hold it.
That is the quiet demand of the Ace of Pentacles. It doesn’t dazzle.
It doesn’t seduce. It offers ground.
A place to stand. Something you can touch. Something that pushes back when you lean on it.
The Ace asks: Will you live this, or will you only understand it?
It turns belief into behavior. Intention into pattern.
Truth into something that must be maintained—not admired.
And this is where the sequence mattered.
The Year of the Snake stripped away what wasn’t true—old skins that had become too tight to breathe in. The Lovers asked me to choose what was—not ideally, not romantically, but honestly. And the Ace of Pentacles took that choice and anchored it in matter, time, and behavior.
No spectacle. No rush.
Just the steady work of becoming congruent—one small, solid step at a time.
Nothing about 2025 was fast.
Nothing was flashy.
But it was solid.
2025 wasn’t about acceleration or reinvention or becoming someone new.
It was about becoming real.
2026: The Horse, the Queen of Cups, and the Chariot
2026 arrives differently.
This year carries three converging archetypes for me:
the Year of the Horse, my Tarot birth card for 2026 — The Chariot, and the answer to my annual question, Who am I becoming? — the Queen of Cups, drawn again and again.
Together, they form a living system rather than a prediction.
The Horse: Momentum Without Force
2026 is the Year of the Horse — an archetype of vitality, momentum, and life force.
The Horse does not respond to control.
It does not submit to force.
It responds to presence.
In this framework, the Horse is not something I ride or dominate — it is the universe itself: timing, current, pull. Motion already in progress. Energy already moving. The Horse runs whether I interfere or not.
The Chariot: Participation, Not Conquest
When I calculated my Tarot card for this year, I arrived at The Chariot.
For example, my birthday is November 4. To calculate my Tarot card for 2026, I add 11 + 4 + 2026 = 2041, then reduce it (2 + 0 + 4 + 1 = 7), which corresponds to The Chariot.
The Chariot is often misunderstood as speed or conquest, but its deeper teaching is orientation. It does not create motion — it enters motion consciously. The charioteer does not pull the Horse. They do not whip it forward. They participate.
My work in 2026 is not to force movement.
It is to steer — to stay awake, grounded, and responsive as momentum unfolds.
The Horse pulls the Chariot.
The Chariot gives direction.
The Queen of Cups: Emotional Intelligence as Navigation
But direction does not come from will alone.
When I asked the cards Who am I becoming? I didn’t receive a destination. I received the Queen of Cups, repeatedly.
She is emotional sovereignty.
She feels without being ruled by feeling.
She listens without drowning.
She contains without closing.
Here, the Queen of Cups sits at the helm of the Chariot.
She is what gives the Horse direction.
A Horse without guidance runs until it scatters or exhausts itself.
Power without orientation becomes chaos.
The Queen of Cups does not restrain momentum — she orients it.
She translates emotion into intelligence, intuition into navigation.
She allows movement without self-abandonment.
The Synthesis
The universe provides momentum.
The Horse runs.
I provide the vessel.
The Chariot moves.
And the Queen of Cups holds the reins — not tightly, not fearfully, but with presence, discernment, and care.
This is not a year of forcing outcomes.
It is a year of conscious participation.
Not faster.
Clearer.
Not louder.
Truer.
Not driven by urgency —
but guided by emotional intelligence, embodied awareness, and trust in motion itself.
The Shift
2025 was about becoming true.
2026 is about moving true.
The Snake unraveled.
The Lovers aligned.
The Ace of Pentacles grounded.
Now the Horse moves.
The Chariot steers.
The Queen of Cups guides.
This isn’t surrender as disappearance.
It’s collaboration.
Emotion becomes intelligence.
Movement becomes intentional.
Trust replaces force.
My year doesn’t begin in January.
It doesn’t start with a square on a calendar or a promise made to the air.
It doesn’t arrive with fireworks, or resolutions that live outside my body.
My year begins when somethingmoves.
When emotion turns into intelligence.
When motion becomes intentional.
When I stop bracing and start listening.
January is administrative.
It belongs to clocks, invoices, and the illusion of control.
But my life doesn’t answer to paper time.
My year begins when the Horse stirs—
when momentum is no longer theoretical,
when the current is strong enough that I don’t have to force my way forward.
It begins when the Chariot knows where to land.
Not in abstraction.
Not in striving.
But in nourishment. In presence. In care.
It begins when grief finishes teaching.
When desire stops shouting and starts telling the truth.
When trust replaces effort.
Some years begin in spring.
Some in silence.
Some in the exact moment you realize you’re no longer who you were trying to survive as.
This year doesn’t ask me to become new.
It asks me toarrive.
From Archetype to Table
If the Horse is momentum and the Chariot is conscious participation, then the Queen of Cups teaches me where that movement is meant to land — not in abstraction, but in nourishment.
Because emotional intelligence isn’t theoretical.
It lives in the body.
And in the South, it lives at the table.
Southern New Year traditions were never about resolutions or reinvention.
They were about orientation — aligning yourself with what sustains life.
You didn’t declare who you wanted to be.
You prepared for what you hoped to receive and cared for what you already had.
You cooked.
Black-eyed peas for luck — not the kind you chase, but the kind that arrives when you stay present.
Greens for prosperity — because abundance grows where care is consistent.
Cornbread for fortune — humble, golden, grounding, made from what the land provides.
This isn’t superstition. It’s wisdom encoded as practice.
Just like the Queen of Cups, Southern food doesn’t rush.
It simmers.
It listens.
It understands that nourishment isn’t about excess — it’s about balance, timing, and tending what’s already alive.
The Horse Comes Home
Momentum without grounding scatters.
Feeling without containment overwhelms.
Movement without nourishment burns out.
The Chariot comes home to the kitchen.
The Horse pauses long enough to eat.
And the Queen of Cups does what she has always done:
she feeds without depletion, offers without self-erasure, and tends the pot until it’s ready — not sooner.
This meal isn’t about starting over.
It’s about continuing well.
About carrying luck forward.
About honoring what grows slowly.
About letting prosperity be something you participate in, not something you chase.
Into the Recipe
What follows is the Southern New Year trifecta — black-eyed peas, greens, and cornbread — prepared not as obligation or tradition-for-tradition’s sake, but as an act of orientation.
A way of saying to the year:
I’m here.
I’m listening.
I’m ready to receive what moves toward me —
and to tend what stays.
In the South, we don’t call them black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day. We call them Hoppin’ John — a name whose origins are layered and unresolved, much like the history it carries.
Some trace it to Gullah Geechee and West African language, others to the idea of “Poor John,” an everyman fed by what the land could reliably provide. What matters more than certainty is what endured: a pot of peas meant to sustain, to gather, to carry hope forward through repetition rather than promise.
My grandmother made Hoppin’ John every year. She was from the Bootheel of Missouri, born in the year of the Great Depression, and her mother before her, a farmer’s daughter, came out of Oklahoma — places shaped by farming, migration, scarcity, and survival.
I imagine the familiar weight of the pot, the slow simmer on the stove, the smell filling the kitchen long before anyone sat down.
For them, this wasn’t superstition or symbolism. It was orientation. You began the year by feeding the body, by tending what you had, by trusting that care itself invited what came next.
The peas returned each year not as a wish, but as continuity — a quiet declaration that we were still here. When I make it now, I understand it as inheritance rather than ritual: a way of meeting time grounded, attentive, and willing to begin again by nourishing life first.
What follows is my version of Hoppin’ John — simple, steady, and meant to be cooked slowly, the way it always has been.
Hoppin’ John is not just a dish — it’s a threshold ritual. A pot set to simmer at the turning of the year, carrying the quiet hope of continuity, nourishment, and enough to get through what comes next.
Across the American South, black-eyed peas have long been cooked on New Year’s Day as a symbol of prosperity, resilience, and renewal. The peas represent coins, the greens abundance, the rice sustenance — a meal rooted in survival wisdom rather than superstition. For families who knew scarcity, this wasn’t symbolic cooking; it was practical magic.
This version is plant-forward and deeply savory, drawing from the Creole trinity of onion, celery, and pepper, layered with garlic, fire-roasted tomatoes, and just enough smoke to honor tradition without replicating it. It’s the kind of dish meant to be made slowly, tasted often, and shared — a reminder that abundance doesn’t arrive loudly. It builds quietly, one pot at a time.
Serve it over rice, finish with heat and herbs, and let it mark the passage — not as a resolution, but as an offering.
Rinse dried black-eyed pea beans, pick through and discard any debris or bad beans. Add beans to a stockpot and bring to a boil. Boil for 5 minutes and remove from heat. Cover and let sit for 1-2 hours.
Warm a large, heavy skillet (I use cast iron), add 2 tbsp oil. When the oil is shimmering, add onions, bell pepper, celery, garlic, and jalapeños, sauté the mixture for 3-5 minutes. Add voodoo seasoning mix. Sauté until mixture has softened, about 3 minutes.
Add vegetable stock, tomatoes, tomato paste, and bay leaf.
Drain the soaked beans, rinse, and add the beans to the pot.
Reduce heat to a simmer, add liquid smoke, and cook, uncovered, for about 20 minutes.
At this point, if using, add collard greens, and cook for 5 more minutes, stirring occasionally,
Cook until beans are tender and slightly thickened.
Add more stock or water if the mixture becomes dry and thick. The texture of the beans should be thick, somewhat creamy but not watery.
Remove the bay leaves.
Taste and adjust for seasonings with pepper, seasoning, and salt if needed. Serve over cooked rice and garnish with green onion.
Add lots of Tabasco and enjoy it!
Serve over rice with a piece of cornbread, and enjoy! Oh, and don’t forget the hot sauce!
Notes
Dry vs. Canned Beans:
Dry beans yield the best texture — creamy, intact, and deeply flavored.
Canned beans are perfectly acceptable when time is short; reduce simmer time slightly and taste earlier for seasoning.
Texture Matters: Hoppin’ John should be thick and spoonable, not soupy. Add stock gradually near the end if needed.
Liquid Smoke: A little goes a long way. This replaces traditional smoked meat while keeping the dish grounded in its roots.
Greens (Optional but Traditional): Adding collards in the final minutes brings both bitterness and symbolism — “money in the bank” for the coming year.
Spice Control: Jalapeño adds warmth rather than heat. For more fire, rely on Tabasco at the table so everyone can choose their own threshold.
Make-Ahead Friendly: Like most bean dishes, this gets better after resting. Flavor deepens overnight.
Serving Suggestion: Serve over long-grain rice with chopped parsley or green onions. Finish generously with hot sauce.
A Kitchen Oracle Reflection on Listening, Impermanence, and Food as Devotion
This is a long post. Like the film itself, it asks for patience. Much like making the bean paste, it cannot be rushed. If you don’t have the patience right now, it may be a good time to stop. But if you do — then take my hand.
What Moves Through Us
I think everyone has something they do — something their soul returns to without effort or explanation. For me, it began with dance.
I don’t remember exactly how old I was, only that I was young and it was already there. I would put on music and let it move through me, long before I understood why. It became a quiet form of salvation, a way to stay connected to feeling when words hadn’t yet arrived.
We moved often when I was a child, and somewhere in that constant shifting I felt a pull to withdraw inward.
Me and My Music
Dance became the place where emotion could live safely in my body. I never experienced it as separate from who I was. It was simply something I did, the way breathing happens.
It felt sacred, almost like prayer.
As I grew older and more confident, that movement began to travel outward. What once lived quietly inside me found expression through years of cheerleading, and eventually on any dance floor that would have me. The impulse never changed — only its direction. What began as a way to stay intact became something that moved through rooms, through space, through other people.
A few months ago, at a show, a young woman tapped me on the shoulder and said, “I love your vibration. We can all feel it.” I was stunned — not flattered, but recognized. In that moment, I understood that what moves through me isn’t meant to be contained. It isn’t something I perform. It’s something I allow. A quiet confirmation of spirit in motion.
Why am I telling you this?
Because once you recognize the thing that moves through you — the thing you don’t choose but are chosen by — you begin to notice it everywhere. In other people. In quiet devotion. In the way care is practiced without needing to be seen.
Listening for What Comes Next
This season has me going into deep water. The kind where things slow down, where pressure changes perception, where light behaves differently. It isn’t a time for skimming or certainty. It asks for presence. For staying with what’s unfolding rather than rushing toward clarity.
I know I’ll come up for air eventually — but for now, I’m content swimming with the creatures below, keeping curious company with whatever drifts past.
One of the things I’ve come to trust is how one thing leads to another. Not randomly, but relationally. Through sequence. Through resonance. Algorithms are supposed to be mechanical, but sometimes they feel strangely intuitive — mirrors rather than machines.
After watching Tampopo, that familiar suggestion appeared: If you liked this, you may also like…Sweet Bean. And yet it didn’t feel accidental. It felt like the next stone on a path I was already walking.
Tampopo arrives loud, playful, almost unruly — full of appetite, instruction, humor, and excess. It teaches reverence by amplifying sensation: slurping noodles, apologizing to pork, insisting that eating itself is a practice.
Sweet Bean arrives as its quiet continuation. Where Tampopo turns the volume up, Sweet Bean slows everything down until it becomes impossible not to notice.
I like where this is going.
I can already see what’s gathering on the horizon — Like Water for Chocolate, Babette’s Feast — stories where food carries memory, devotion, longing, and transformation. Where recipes are not instructions but vessels. Where nourishment is inseparable from love, grief, faith, and time.
There’s a tenderness here that I don’t want to rush past. A romance in the way art, film, music, religion, and food speak to one another — how meaning moves through hands, through kitchens, through stories told slowly. This is where I want to linger. This is the conversation I want to stay in.
So for this next feature, I begin with Sweet Bean — and with Tokue, and the quiet devotion of making something carefully, patiently, until it’s ready to be shared.
The Shape of Lived Wisdom
The film opens without urgency. We meet Sentarō as he moves through his days with restraint and resignation, running a small dorayaki stand without joy or intention. Nothing appears overtly broken — and yet nothing feels fully alive. The story unfolds as much through what has been withheld as through what is present.
The characters begin alone. And then, slowly, they begin to find one another — not through design, but through sequence. As if one thing quietly leads them to the next.
Across generations — Tokue, Sentarō, and Wakana — we watch a kind of family take shape. Not named. Not claimed. It simply forms. Grandmother, son, daughter — bound not by blood, but by recognition. The film reminds us that belonging doesn’t always arrive through inheritance. Sometimes it emerges through attention.
Each of them has been living under someone else’s terms. Tokue carries the weight of isolation imposed long before we meet her. Sentarō works beneath a debt that keeps his life narrow and constrained. Wakana drifts at the edges, running from a home that offers no refuge. We don’t need exposition to understand this — we feel it in the way they move, in the pauses, in what remains unsaid.
What shifts them is not instruction, but care.
Ordinary Food, Lived Attention
Dorayaki — the food at the center of Sweet Bean — is a humble, everyday sweet, closer to street food than ceremony. Two small, soft pancakes sandwich anko: sweet red bean paste made from azuki beans.
They’re found at neighborhood shops, festivals, train stations, school routes — food meant to be eaten by hand, wrapped simply in paper, warm and unpretentious.
This matters.
Dorayaki is not a luxury or a special-occasion dessert; it is nourishment woven into daily life. Azuki beans are valued not for refinement, but for steadiness and sustenance. In the film, the cakes themselves remain simple — no embellishment, no reinvention.
But dorayaki, like ramen, takes time. It asks for presence rather than speed, for care rather than performance.
What matters cannot be hurried.
Into this muted routine enters Tokue — seventy-six years old, slow in her movements, gentle in her manner. She answers a help wanted sign, offering fifty years of experience making tsubuan, the traditional sweet red bean paste that forms the heart of dorayaki.
He tells her no.
Tokue leaves, then returns anyway, carrying a container of tsubuan she has made at home. She offers it without argument or insistence — only as proof. Sentarō is irritated by the presumption. He hasn’t asked for this. He hasn’t agreed. After she leaves, he throws the paste away.
It is not an act of malice. It is an act of resistance. Accepting the tsubuan would mean accepting her — and he is not yet ready for what that would require.
What unfolds is not simply a story about cooking, but about dignity, patience, and what it means to be seen after a lifetime of being set aside. The film asks a devastatingly simple question: how do we assign value — to our work, to others, and to ourselves — when the world has already decided who belongs?
The Cost of Being Seen
This is where the film begins to work on us.
Tokue understands the value of her skill. She knows what she brings. And yet, as Sentarō hesitates, we watch her begin to lower herself — reducing her salary again and again, as if worth were elastic, something to be adjusted downward until it becomes acceptable.
His reluctance is not about her ability. It is about her age. But Tokue has lived long enough inside exclusion to mistake hesitation for deficiency.
That is what makes her so heartbreakingly human. Many of us recognize this feeling — not the sharp ache of rejection, but the quieter, more corrosive belief that we are somehow not enough as we are.
We feel it when she mentions her hands. She offers them not as proof of mastery, but almost as apology — drawing attention to age and limitation before it can be named by someone else.
Her fingers are misshapen, the joints stiff, the movements careful and deliberate — shaped by something long endured but not yet explained. It is a kind of preemptive surrender, a way of managing rejection before it arrives.
In that small gesture, we begin to see how deeply exclusion teaches people to edit themselves in advance.
This is not false humility. It is adaptation — a wisdom shaped by survival. Tokue has learned that asking for too much can cost safety. And yet, she still asks. She still shows up. She still offers what she knows how to do.
That matters.
The film allows us to sit with how often worth is bargained down — not because it is unclear, but because it has been denied for so long.
The Choice That Changed Everything
Up to this point, neither of them has truly had a choice about much in their lives.
Tokue arrives shaped by a life of constraint we don’t yet fully understand. Sentarō moves through his days under obligation rather than desire. They meet not through intention, but through circumstance — two lives narrowed long before they intersect.
Tokue offers Sentarō her bean paste, and at first he does what the world has trained him to do: he dismisses her.
He accepts the container out of politeness, then throws it away because it doesn’t match his idea of what it is supposed to be.
It’s chunky. It’s wrong. It doesn’t conform.
He could have left it there. He could have let this be another quiet exclusion, another small refusal that requires no explanation. In many ways, he already has.
This is where the story could have ended.
But something in him pauses.
Not certainty. Not enlightenment.
Something smaller, more fragile.
Perhaps intuition.
Perhaps guilt.
Perhaps the loosening of habit just long enough for curiosity to slip in.
He reaches back into the trash.
He smells the paste — and smell bypasses ideology.
Then he tastes a little.
Then more.
That moment is everything.
The paste does not argue for itself. It does not persuade him intellectually. It simply is.
And once he allows himself to receive it, the care held within it becomes undeniable.
The next day, Tokue returns.
She does not arrive expecting anything. Her body already holds the knowledge of refusal. She assumes the answer is no — because that has been the answer for most of her life.
But this time, Sentarō does something different.
He asks her to make the bean paste at the shop.
Not as a favor. Not as charity. Not as a test.
As recognition.
There is no speech, no visible release. Only a subtle shift — a softening in her posture, a composure settling back into place. After a lifetime of being set aside, what she offered freely has been received without condition.
She begins to cook.
This is the moment Tokue realizes she has been chosen.
Not tolerated. Not indulged. Chosen.
Not loudly. Not heroically.
But unmistakably.
And we will soon understand what that means — not just for this moment, but for their lives. How rare choice has been for both of them. How long each has lived inside circumstances they did not select. And how everything begins to change once choice, however small, finally enters the room.
The Work That Cannot Be Rushed
For Tokue, making bean paste is simply what she does.
It isn’t framed as talent or philosophy, and it isn’t something she explains. The process just moves through her.
She doesn’t perform knowledge; she inhabits it.
Her hands know when to change the water, when to lower the heat, when to wait.
Nothing is forced.
Nothing is rushed.
The beans are allowed to become what they already are.
This is how dance entered my life, too.
I didn’t approach it as art or ambition or even expression. I showed up, and my body began to move. There was no plan, no audience, no language for what was happening.
The movement wasn’t something I did so much as something that moved through me. Over time, I realized I wasn’t learning steps—I was remembering how to listen.
To breath, to weight, to rhythm, to the subtle intelligence of the body when the mind steps aside.
Like Tokue with her beans, I didn’t need to explain the practice for it to be real. It revealed itself only in the doing.
She follows the recipe, tends the beans, waits when waiting is required. Over time, care settles into her body as rhythm — not because she seeks meaning in the work, but because meaning arises from doing it faithfully.
Sweetness comes not from intention, but from consistency, attention, and time allowed to unfold.
Tokue doesn’t just give Sentarō a recipe. She gives him a practice — one that cannot be rushed or faked.
When she learns that the bean paste he’s been using comes from a can, she is genuinely indignant.
Not dramatic, not cruel — just clear. Some things cannot be hurried, she tells him. And with dorayaki, it is the beans that matter most. They are the heart of it.
Tokue does not teach through explanation.
She teaches through care.
Through listening to the beans.
Through patience.
Through devotion practiced quietly, every day.
Her wisdom is not something she declares — it is something she lives, and in living it, makes space for others to remember themselves.
This is the shape of lived wisdom: not spectacle, not authority, but presence. Something practiced until it becomes transferable. Something that moves gently, and changes everything.
She speaks often of Mr. Sun, and insists that the work must begin before he rises. You wake early not for discipline’s sake, but because the beans require it. The day’s rhythm matters. Attention matters. Time matters. There is a right moment to begin, and it does not wait for convenience.
Tokue had says that bean paste is made by feeling — not physically, but through attunement.
Tokue never claims authority or mastery. She does not instruct from above. She simply stops.
She pays attention—to the beans, the steam, the aroma, to the nearly imperceptible moment when sweetness shifts in the air.
Her care is not technical; it is relational. And it is not innate, but cultivated—time layered with awareness, presence accumulated slowly and deliberately.
Wisdom here is not something she possesses. It is something she practices.
Through listening. Through letting time and matter speak back. Her paste isn’t refined into sameness. It’s alive. The texture isn’t a flaw. It’s evidence of relationship.
The paste itself demands patience at every stage: soaking, rinsing, simmering, draining when the scent changes, rinsing again slowly, simmering again. Nothing here is symbolic — it is simply what the beans require.
Tokue even falls asleep while they cook — not from neglect, but from trust. She knows that time is doing the work. Presence doesn’t always look like hovering. Sometimes it looks like allowing.
In my mind this is where I began to see the cross between two cultures.
Tokue’s way stands in stark contrast to the Western impulse toward speed, efficiency, and immediacy — the drive-through, “I want it now” mentality that treats time as an obstacle rather than an ingredient.
In our impatience, we gain convenience but lose intimacy. We get food faster, but we miss the relationship. We shorten the process and wonder why the result feels hollow.
This is not inefficiency. This is devotion.
Wakana
If Tokue brings devotion and Sentarō brings resistance, Wakana brings presence.
We meet Wakana quietly, almost incidentally. She wanders into the shop after school, drawn less by hunger than by refuge. The dorayaki becomes a reason to linger, but it’s not really what she’s there for. She is watching. Listening. Taking note.
Like the others, Wakana is shaped by circumstances she did not choose. We don’t yet know the full contours of her life — only that she moves with a guarded attentiveness, someone who has learned to be careful about where she lands. The shop becomes a pause in her day, a place where nothing is demanded of her beyond showing up.
What’s striking is how naturally she fits into the space once Tokue begins making the paste. There’s no formal welcome, no declaration of belonging. She is simply allowed to stay. To observe. To exist without explanation. In that permission, something begins to soften.
Wakana doesn’t receive instruction; she absorbs atmosphere. She watches Tokue work, listens to the rhythm of the shop, notices how time slows when care is practiced. She becomes a witness to devotion in action — and in doing so, becomes part of it.
This is how integration begins here. Not through grand gestures or chosen roles, but through quiet proximity. Through repeated visits. Through the simple act of returning.
Nothing about Wakana’s presence is resolved yet. But already, the film lets us feel how much it matters when a place exists where you are not corrected, hurried, or evaluated — where you can simply arrive, and be met by attention.
The film gives us one more quiet symbol through Wakana: the pet bird in its cage. It sings, it is cared for, it is alive—but it is not free. Like Sentarō, like Tokue, like Wakana herself, the bird exists within conditions shaped by others’ fears and expectations. No one is overtly cruel to it. And yet, its world is narrowed.
And that, too, is a form of nourishment.
Living Beneath Obligation
We come to realize that the suffering at the center of Sentarō’s life is never framed as punishment. It is simply the condition he inhabits. This is the film’s first and quietest Buddhist truth: suffering does not need a villain to exist. It only needs causes.
Sentarō’s life is shaped by the momentum of his past. Before the film begins, he served time in prison for assault. The details are left vague, but the consequences are precise.
Upon release, he is marked — socially constrained, economically limited, dependent on someone willing to take responsibility for him when the world will not. The former shop owner provides that lifeline, paying his debts and installing him in the dorayaki shop.
What appears to be generosity is also containment.
The shop is not a dream or a calling; it is a condition of reentry. His labor becomes penance, his routine an extension of incarceration by other means. Even when the debt is later forgiven, the structure of obligation remains intact.
This reflects a deeply Buddhist understanding of karma — not as moral accounting, but as momentum. Causes continue until something interrupts them. Forgiveness alone does not dissolve karma; awareness does.
This is why Tokue’s presence is so radical. When she gently asks why he owns a sweet shop and not a bar, she is not probing preference. She is naming the absence of choice.
Tokue recognizes that Sentarō’s life has been shaped by dukkha — suffering as condition, not as sentence.
She does not respond by trying to free him, absolve him, or redirect him.
Instead, she changes how time is lived inside the constraint. Through her devotion to making tsubuan — listening to the beans, respecting their pace, honoring process — labor becomes attention rather than punishment.
This is Right Livelihood embodied: not the job itself, but the way care enters the work.
Against this stands the former shop owner’s wife — obligation embodied.
She enters loudly, issuing instructions, rearranging Sentarō’s future so her nephew can inherit what she believes is owed. It’s insulting.
Her authority is coercive, managerial, uninterested in care. In her presence, Sentarō goes numb — not because he agrees, but because resistance feels futile. This is karma left uninterrupted: suffering reinforced by control.
The contrast clarifies everything.
Tokue teaches without dominance. Wakana stays without demand. The former shop owner’s wife commands without relationship.
One mode tightens the knot of suffering; the others begin to loosen it.
And none of this unfolds in isolation. Slowly, almost without notice, a small relational field takes shape. None of them has family to return to. None of them is anchored elsewhere. And yet, through repetition and shared time, a quiet trinity forms — not by declaration, but by presence.
Tokue moves through the space with the steadiness of a grandmother, or a mother, offering care without possession.
Sentarō occupies the middle ground, becoming something like a son or a father without ever naming the role.
Wakana drifts between them, daughter and granddaughter both, finding safety not through control but through being allowed to remain.
This is not inherited family. It is chosen. And it is precisely this chosenness that allows something to shift.
Tokue’s greatest Buddhist teaching, however, is not in what she says or even what she teaches — but in how she leaves.
She does not cling.
She does not stay to be needed.
When her presence begins to cause harm, she steps away.
This is non-attachment properly understood: love without possession, care without grasping.
Sentarō’s awakening happens in relationship — witnessed by Wakana, shaped by Tokue, made possible through shared time.
This reflects interdependence: nothing changes alone.
Liberation arises between people, through patience, attention, and mutual presence.
This is what makes the ending legible.
Tokue never tells Sentarō what to do. She never claims him. She never defines his future.
She gives him something Buddhism values above instruction, absolution, or control: Time — offered without conditions.
And in that unforced spaciousness, suffering begins to loosen its grip.
But spaciousness does not exist in isolation.
What unfolds between Tokue and Sentarō is fragile, held together by attention and trust. It is not protected from the world beyond the shop, from the systems and judgments that have already shaped their lives. The past does not dissolve simply because care has entered the room.
And this is where the outside world intrudes.
When the Truth Is Used as a Weapon
The revelation of Tokue’s past does not arrive gently.
It comes through the former shop owner’s wife — abruptly, administratively, stripped of tenderness.
She tells Sentarō that Tokue is a leper.
The word lands heavily. Not because of what it medically means, but because of what it carries socially. It arrives already loaded with fear, disgust, and judgment — a label designed not to inform, but to separate.
This is not shared out of concern for Tokue. It is shared as leverage.
The wife frames the information as responsibility, as protection, as propriety. But beneath it is something more familiar: control. The need to reassert order. To remind Sentarō of where power resides and who is permitted to belong.
Tokue’s history becomes a tool — not to understand her, but to remove her.
What’s devastating is how quickly we recognize this mechanism. How often truth, when delivered without care, becomes violence.
Tokue herself has never named this part of her life. Not because she is hiding, but because she understands what the world does with such knowledge. She knows how quickly a person becomes reduced to a condition.
How easily dignity is stripped away once a label takes precedence over presence.
Until this moment, Tokue has been known only through her actions: her devotion to the beans, her attentiveness, her patience, her quiet joy. Now, suddenly, all of that is at risk of being eclipsed by a single word.
This is where the film exposes another form of suffering — not the suffering of illness itself, but the suffering imposed by stigma. A suffering that outlives the condition. A suffering maintained by fear long after the danger has passed.
And we begin to understand just how much Tokue has already endured before ever stepping into the shop.
The revelation doesn’t just threaten Tokue’s place there. It tests everything that has been forming — the fragile family, the shared rhythm, the slow trust built through care. It asks whether connection can survive once the world intervenes with its categories and exclusions.
This is the moment when the story tightens.
Not because Tokue has changed — she hasn’t — but because we are forced to confront how easily compassion can be undone when belonging is made conditional.
Exile, Without Drama
When Tokue and Sentarō are separated, the loss is not dramatic. There is no confrontation, no confession, no reckoning. What happens instead is quieter — pressure applied steadily, impersonally, until separation becomes inevitable.
Though Tokue is no longer contagious, stigma does not require accuracy to function.
The wife frames Tokue as a threat to public safety, demanding disinfectant, warning that her presence will ruin the business.
But fear is only the surface.
Beneath it is control.
The shop remains entangled in obligation. The wife believes Sentarō owes her — financially and morally — and she intends for her nephew to inherit what she considers rightfully theirs.
Tokue disrupts that plan.
Her quiet authority, her competence, her influence represent a future for Sentarō not governed by debt.
Removing her restores the hierarchy the wife depends on. What presents itself as concern is, in truth, coercion.
Tokue understands immediately. And rather than force Sentarō into an open refusal he may not survive—economically or socially—she leaves on her own terms.
This is not resignation. It is dignity. Non-attachment embodied.
She removes herself so that what she has already given cannot be taken away.
Later, when we find her again at the leprosy colony, Wakana and Sentarō visit and bring her the bird.
The gesture is instinctive. The bird is alive, loved, singing—yet, like the three of them, also confined. They set the cage beside Tokue as if asking whether this, too, is survivable—whether life can still sing inside narrowing conditions.
Tokue does not comment. She does not name the symbolism. She simply receives them and the bird with the same gentleness she gives everything else.
She explains she no longer makes bean paste. Now she makes red bean soup—using kombu to draw depth without harshness. She adds salt dried beneath the full moon.
Practically, it softens—rounding bitterness, clarifying sweetness. Symbolically, it matters. In Buddhist imagery, the moon represents awakened awareness: illumination without force, clarity without grasping.
Even what has been hardened by suffering can become gentle again, if it is allowed to rest in attention.
Even here, restraint is the lesson. Care without excess. Flavor without force.
It is here, that Sentarō finally speaks of his own exile.
He talks about prison.
About the violence that altered another man’s life.
About how, since then, he has not been able to hear people’s stories. That’s why I was so blocked, he says.
In Buddhist terms, this is karma not as punishment, but as residue — the past narrowing what feels possible in the present.
Tokue does not absolve him. She does not correct him.
She listens.
And that is enough.
What the Beans Remember
This is the moment where the essence of the story fully gathers for me — where everything that has been moving quietly beneath the surface comes into view. I’m always struck by how Japanese storytelling allows meaning to remain embedded rather than announced.
Spirituality is not extracted from daily life and placed on a pedestal; it’s folded into work, into food, into weather, into attention.
After they are separated, Tokue writes him a letter. She doesn’t speak in abstractions or declarations.
She believes everything on earth has a story, and more importantly, that he can hear them.
She imagines the stories the beans might be tell — to the wind, to the sun.
Was it shining that day?
How was the breeze blowing?
This is Buddhist interdependence made intimate.
Nothing exists alone.
Nothing is inert.
Everything is speaking, if we are quiet enough to listen.
She writes that sometimes we are crushed by the ignorance of the world, and sometimes we must use our wits — something she wishes she had told him sooner. There is no bitterness in this, only clarity.
She understands now what suffering taught her too late, and she offers it gently, without demand. Then she blesses him.
She is certain that one day he will make a dorayaki that fulfills his own vision — not someone else’s expectation, not a debt, not an obligation, but his.
It’s a quiet benediction. Not hope as fantasy, but faith rooted in attention.
And in that letter — so small, so unassuming — the film reveals one of its deepest truths: that meaning doesn’t need to be imposed to endure.
When spirituality is allowed to live inside ordinary acts—inside letters and kitchens and dancefloors and beans and breeze—it doesn’t disappear.
It circulates. It carries forward.
From Confinement to Blooming
When Sentarō and Wakana return to visit Tokue again, they arrive too late. She has died of pneumonia.
What follows is not consolation, but inheritance.
Her bowls.
Her tools.
A pestle engraved with her name.
The quiet truth the film offers is this: practice outlives the practitioner. Care, once embodied, does not vanish when the body does.
She also leaves behind a recording — for Sentarō and Wakana.
In it, Tokue speaks gently, without drama. She tells them she released the bird and watched it fly away.
She speaks of the child she was not allowed to have — a son who would have been about Sentarō’s age now — of a life truncated by fear and stigma, of a body removed from society long before it was ready to leave the world.
She remembers walking outside the gate — that rare, brief permission — and how the sweetness of the cherry blossoms in the air led her to Sentarō.
She remembers his eyes. Why do you suffer so? she wanted to ask. She recognized that gaze because she once carried it herself, when she believed she would never leave the fence.
What she offers here reflects a distinctly Japanese way of seeing, shaped by both Buddhism and Shinto.
From Buddhism comes the understanding that suffering is not personal failure, but condition — something shaped by causes, momentum, and time.
From Shinto comes the reverence for the everyday world itself — the belief that life moves through all things, that presence resides not only in people, but in birds, tools, food, wind, and light.
Tokue’s voice carries both traditions effortlessly. Nothing is abstract. Nothing is separate.
She speaks, too, of the moon.
In Buddhism, the moon is a symbol of awakening — not because it shines by its own power, but because it reflects light without grasping.
It illuminates without effort.
It appears whole even when partially hidden.
In Japanese thought more broadly, the moon is also a quiet witness — cyclical, patient, attentive — marking time without commanding it.
Tokue understands this intuitively.
The full moon whispered to me that day, she says. I wanted you to see me — that’s why I was shining.
Her life had been defined by confinement: by illness, by exclusion, by the violence of being removed from ordinary touch.
She suffered deeply.
And yet, in that small moment outside the gate — in listening, in cooking, in being seen — something completed itself.
Not triumph.
Not justice.
But peace.
She could die knowing that her care had landed.
The tragedy she recounts — the sweater her mother made for her, only to have it taken away as soon as she received it — lingers here. Love offered, then stripped away.
Belonging dangled and revoked. That wound echoes through her life.
And yet, through the beans, through the listening, through that one open gate, she restores what was taken — not only for herself, but for others.
Because Tokue’s awakening does not end with her.
It changes Wakana, who finds in Tokue and Sentarō the closest thing to family she has known — a place where she is not dismissed, where even her bird is listened to.
It changes Sentarō, whose sorrow loosens, whose life opens, whose confinement gives way to space and air and blossom. One woman, briefly allowed outside the fence, touches lives far beyond it.
This is not sentimentality. It is Japanese philosophy embodied.
Interdependence means no awakening is solitary.
Care moves.
Attention circulates.
What is lived continues to live on.
Tokue does not escape her life. She completes it.
Awakening, the film reminds us, is not arrival. It is recognition.
When the Walls Fall Away
In the final moments, Wakana walks back to school beneath long rows of cherry trees in full bloom. She is still in her uniform. Petals drift down around her, unhurried, doing nothing but being beautiful.
The scene is quietly devastating — not because of loss alone, but because of what it reveals: life continuing, open and generous in its impermanence.
In Japanese culture, the cherry blossom — sakura — holds a particular meaning. It is not simply a symbol of beauty, but of transience.
Blossoms bloom fully and fall quickly, reminding us that what is most precious is also most fleeting. The cherry tree does not mourn this. It offers its beauty anyway. This is not tragedy, but acceptance.
We have already learned what this means at the colony.
When residents die, a tree is planted in their place — not a marker of absence, but of continuation.
For Tokue, they plant a cherry tree. Her life does not end in disappearance, but in transformation — her presence returned to the living world she so carefully listened to.
And then, almost imperceptibly, the film opens up.
Sentaro is no longer inside the narrow shop that once held him — a space shaped by debt, obligation, and a past he believed he could not escape.
At the beginning of the story, that small room mirrored his inner life: enclosed, repetitive, managed by others.
He cooked there because he had to.
He stayed because he believed he had no other choice.
Now he is outside.
He cooks dorayaki beneath the cherry blossoms, in open air, surrounded by people.
Children run and play.
Neighbors gather.
When he announces the cakes are ready, it doesn’t feel like a transaction. It feels like an offering — food made not under constraint, but from presence.
The shift is spatial, not declared. The low ceiling is replaced by open sky.
Fluorescent light gives way to petals and sun.
What was once narrow has widened.
The film does not announce his freedom; it lets us see it.
This is what the story has been tending toward all along: not escape, but opening. not triumph, but release.
Like the cherry blossom itself — fully alive, fully brief, and freely given.
Listening as the Practice
At its heart, Sweet Bean is not about cooking so much as attunement. Tokue does not teach through authority or technique; she teaches by stopping, by listening—to the beans, to the steam, to the moment sweetness announces itself not through force but through timing.
This way of working embodies Buddhist thought without naming it: impermanence, non-attachment, interdependence, right effort lived rather than explained. Nothing is added to life here; interference simply falls away.
Sweetness is coaxed, not engineered.
Time is trusted to do what only time can do.
In this, the film becomes a quiet companion to Tampopo. Where Tampopo teaches devotion through discipline and repetition—training the body to meet appetite with care—Sweet Bean teaches devotion through stillness, humility, and listening.
One trains attention outward; the other turns attention inward. Both insist on the same truth: food made without attention is incomplete, no matter how correct it appears. What redeems Sentarō is not success or escape, but relationship—learning to care again for the beans, for Tokue, for himself.
This is why the film feels less like instruction than remembrance. It does not offer a new belief system so much as a way of being already known to the body.
Watching it feels like recognition: labor becoming devotion, repetition becoming care, sorrow softening into meaning.
All the wisdom lives in the paste.
Nothing decorative.
Nothing performed.
Just attention, practiced patiently, sustaining life exactly where it already is.
What follows is not a replication, but a continuation.
The recipe that comes next isn’t meant to impress or perform. It’s an invitation to practice listening in the way Tokue did—to slow down, to pay attention, to let time participate. The ingredients are simple. The method is patient. What matters most isn’t precision, but presence.
This is not just how to make anko. It’s how to stay with something long enough to hear what it has to say.
This anko rarely stays confined to dorayaki in my kitchen. Once it’s made, it tends to wander.
Toast or Sourdough – Warm slightly and spread thick, finished with flaky salt or vegan butter
Oatmeal or Cream of Rice – Swirled in while hot for a deeply comforting bowl
Rice Cakes or Mochi – A simple, traditional pairing
Stuffed Pastries – Spoon into puff pastry, phyllo, or brioche-style vegan dough
Swirled into Yogurt – Especially good with plain coconut or soy yogurt
Layered Desserts – Use as a component in trifles, parfaits, or layered jars
With Fruit – Especially pears, apples, persimmons, or citrus segments
Straight from the Spoon – Warm or cold, standing at the counter (no rules)
Ingredients
Scale
Part I: Slow-Simmered Chunky Anko (Tsubuan) with Agar
1 cup dried adzuki beans
3–4 cups water (for simmering)
¾ cup organic cane sugar (adjust to taste)
Pinch of fine sea salt
½ tsp agar powder (kanten)
¼ cup water (for dissolving agar)
Part II: Vegan Dorayaki Pancakes
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 tbsp organic cane sugar
1 tsp baking powder
⅛ tsp fine sea salt
¾ cup plant milk (soy or oat preferred)
1 tbsp neutral oil
1 tbsp maple syrup or agave
1 tsp vanilla extract
(Optional) 1 tsp mirin or rice syrup for subtle elasticity
Instructions
Slow-Simmered Chunky Anko (Tsubuan) with Agar
Rinse beans thoroughly. Soak overnight or at least 6 hours if time allows. This step isn’t about speed — it’s about even softness and respect for the beans.
Drain beans and place in a pot with fresh water. Bring to a boil for 5 minutes, then drain completely. This releases bitterness before the long simmer begins.
Return beans to the pot with 3–4 cups fresh water. Bring to a boil, then reduce immediately to a low, steady simmer. Simmer uncovered for 60–90 minutes, stirring occasionally and adding hot water as needed to keep beans just submerged.
Beans are ready when they crush easily between your fingers and skins are tender but intact. Do not rush this — the beans decide.
Lower the heat. Add sugar in 2–3 additions, stirring gently and allowing each addition to dissolve fully before adding the next. This keeps skins supple and preserves the chunky texture. Simmer another 15–20 minutes, until naturally thickened. Finish with a pinch of salt.
In a small saucepan, whisk ½ tsp agar powder into ¼ cup water. Bring to a gentle boil, whisking constantly, and simmer 1–2 minutes until fully dissolved. Agar must boil to activate.
Lower heat under the beans. Slowly pour in the dissolved agar, stirring gently. Simmer 2–3 minutes, just to integrate. Remove from heat.
The anko will set as it cools.
Method
Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a bowl.
In a separate bowl, whisk plant milk, oil, maple syrup, vanilla, and mirin (if using).
Gently combine wet and dry ingredients. Do not overmix. Batter should be smooth and slightly thick.
Rest batter 10–15 minutes — this matters for tenderness.
Heat a nonstick pan over low–medium heat. Lightly oil, then wipe excess away.
Pour about 2 tbsp batter per pancake. Cook until bubbles form and the surface looks matte.
Flip gently; cook second side just until set.
Transfer to a towel and keep covered while cooking remaining pancakes.
Dorayaki should stay pale golden — never browned.
Assembly
Place 1–1½ tbsp anko on the flat side of one pancake.
Top with a second pancake, flat side down.
Gently press the edges. Do not overfill.
Storage
Anko: refrigerate 5–7 days or freeze up to 3 months
Pancakes: store covered at room temp for a day or refrigerate and rewarm gently
Notes
Texture
This is tsubuan:
Some beans whole
Some softened into the base
Cohesive, glossy, spoonable — never stiff
Agar (kanten) gives structure without heaviness — use a light hand.
Keep heat lower than you think you need. Patience beats force every time.
This is not a multitasking recipe. Stay nearby. Stir with intention.
Perfect winter cooking — when slowing down is the nourishment.
If the anko feels loose when hot, don’t panic. Agar sets as it cools.
Best enjoyed quietly, with warm tea, and no agenda.
Over Thanksgiving, I watched Memoirs of a Geisha—a film my girls hadn’t seen, one my mom recommended, and one I hadn’t revisited since it first came out. You never quite know how one thing leads to another.
Watching it again, I noticed how differently it asks to be seen. Not consumed, but observed. It trains the eye.
Silk. Choreography. Ritual. Discipline. Years of repetition hidden behind movements that appear effortless. Identity shaped not by declaration, but by endurance. Beauty that costs something.
Silence teaches. Seasons mirror inner change. Nothing is accidental—color, posture, timing, even stillness carries intention. Becoming is not about being seen, but about being shaped.
Anchoring the film is Ken Watanabe—steady, watchful, restrained. Authority without spectacle. Recognition without excess. Watching him again, I realized how deeply that presence had stayed with me—not just as a character, but as a way of being. A quiet mastery that doesn’t announce itself, but is immediately felt.
And as attention tends to do when it’s allowed to wander, it didn’t stop there. After the film ended, I looked up the cast and immediately recognized Michelle Yeoh from Wicked. That small recognition opened another door.
Almost inevitably, it led me to Tampopo.
And that’s where everything else began to gather.
Tampopo Centers on a Woman Who Is Becoming
At first glance, the two films couldn’t seem more different. One is silk and ceremony. The other is broth and steam. One is restrained and formal; the other playful, chaotic, absurd. And yet beneath the surface, they are speaking the same language.
Both understand that mastery is not chosen — it is survived into. Identity does not arrive through affirmation or confidence, but through repetition, humility, attention, and care.
In Tampopo, Tampopo—whose name means dandelion—is a single mother running a struggling ramen shop. She is earnest, overwhelmed, and keenly aware of her own inadequacy. Not ashamed of it. Just honest about how far she has to go.
She doesn’t want comfort or shortcuts. She wants mastery.
When she meets Gorō, a stoic truck driver with a discerning palate (played by Ken Watanabe), she does something radical in its simplicity: she asks for help. She offers to pay him to teach her how to make truly great ramen.
What follows is not instant success, but apprenticeship. Gorō becomes her anchor and protector, but the work quickly expands into community.
A self-appointed ramen sensei teaches discipline and tradition. Truckers offer blunt feedback. A contractor from a bar fight provides strength and loyalty.
Each man contributes something different—technique, critique, labor, lineage—but none of them replace her effort. Tampopo trains her body, her palate, her stamina.
She fails publicly. She practices relentlessly. She learns that ramen is not just flavor, but structure, timing, heat, and care.
This is not a story about transformation through talent, romance, or luck. It is a story about endurance. Tampopo does not become herself alone—and she does not become herself accidentally.
She becomes through repetition. Through humility. Through the willingness to be seen while learning.
By the time her ramen is finally judged, the victory is quiet and unmistakable: the bowls are emptied. The work holds.
She has become what she set out to be—not because she imagined it, but because she trained for it.
Tampopo doesn’t explain itself. It invites pursuit.
The Meaning Lives in the Pause
What struck me immediately — and what feels distinctly Japanese in its storytelling — is how punctuated Tampopo is. It moves in deliberate beats rather than smooth arcs. Scenes arrive, land, and end cleanly — sometimes abruptly — like brushstrokes lifted from the page.
There is space between moments. Silence after humor. Stillness after intensity. Nothing is rushed toward resolution.
This punctuation isn’t accidental; it’s cultural. Japanese storytelling often trusts the pause as much as the action, the cut as much as the continuity. Meaning is allowed to crystallize in the gaps.
The viewer isn’t carried forward by momentum so much as invited to stop, to notice, to sit with what has just occurred.
What stayed with me this time was how deeply metaphor is woven into that sensibility. So many Japanese films speak indirectly, asking you inward rather than explaining themselves outright. They trust that if you stay present long enough, meaning will surface on its own.
That rhythm feels rooted in Buddhist thought — reflection over reaction, impermanence over possession, attention as a form of devotion. Gesture carries weight. What is withheld matters as much as what is shown.
Each vignette stands on its own, yet accumulates power through repetition and contrast. The film doesn’t spoon-feed emotion; it places it carefully and steps back. And in doing so, it mirrors everything else it is teaching: attention over excess, intention over momentum, presence over performance.
Why Ramen Matters
To understand why the opening scene in Tampopo feels almost ceremonial, you have to understand what ramen represents in Japanese culture. Ramen is not just food. It is craft, labor, humility, and relationship—contained in a single bowl.
It is everyday food, but never casual. Ramen lives at the intersection of accessibility and mastery. Anyone can eat it. Not everyone can make it well.
And making it well is not about luxury. It is about attention. Broth developed over hours. Noodles chosen for texture and bite. Toppings prepared separately, then assembled with care. Balance matters more than excess. Harmony matters more than spectacle.
Ramen is also deeply democratic. Salarymen eat it after long days. Students eat it late at night. Chefs devote their lives to perfecting it—often one style, one broth, one expression. Entire reputations rest on whether a single bowl can be made the same way, every day, without shortcuts.
This is why ramen carries reverence. Not because it is rare, but because it demands integrity.
So when the old man teaches the younger man how to eat—telling him to look first, inhale the aroma, apologize to the pork, sip the broth before the noodles—he is not being theatrical. He is initiating him into relationship.
He is saying: this bowl contains someone’s labor, attention, and life energy. To rush it is to miss it. To consume without awareness is to flatten it.
When he says “see you again” to the pork, the line lands playfully—but it carries a Buddhist truth. Nothing truly ends. Effort circulates. Nourishment returns in another form. Hunger will return. Attention will be required again.
The younger man laughs because he does not yet understand that ramen, here, is a teacher.
This is why the rest of the film unfolds as it does. People are judged not by what they eat, but by how. Mastery is shown through repetition rather than brilliance. Garnish matters. Finishing the bowl is not greed, but gratitude.
Ramen in Tampopo is not elevated into fine dining—it is honored as daily devotion. And that distinction matters. Because the film’s deeper message is Buddhist at its core: enlightenment does not live only in temples or rituals. It lives in kitchens. In work done well. In care repeated without applause.
They are eating ramen. He is practicing reverence.
What they miss—and what the film keeps teaching—is this: nothing is taken without consequence, nothing truly disappears. The pork becomes warmth, energy, movement. The apology is not superstition; it is awareness.
The men who laugh are not cruel. They are simply unawake.
They are eating. He is communing.
And that distinction becomes one of the film’s central truths.
What the old man actually teaches
1. Attention is the first act of respect He tells him to look at the bowl, admire it, inhale the aroma, acknowledge each element before touching it. This is a lesson in presence. If you rush past what nourishes you, you rush past life itself.
2. Gratitude must precede pleasure The apology to the pork, the reverence for the broth — these come before eating. In Buddhist thought, desire without awareness is suffering. Pleasure rooted in gratitude becomes communion.
3. Mastery is humility, not dominance The younger men treat food as something to conquer, consume, rate. The old man treats it as something to meet.
That difference is the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
Why the other men don’t get it
They laugh because they are still operating from:
efficiency
convenience
ego
entitlement
They think food exists for them.
The old man understands that he exists because of it.
That’s enlightenment — not robes or sermons, but the quiet knowing that:
Life feeds life, and nothing should be taken unconsciously.
The deeper, unspoken lesson
The ramen becomes a koan.
If you can’t slow down for a bowl of noodles, you will miss love, grief, beauty, death, and devotion too.
The old man already knows this. The others are still hungry and don’t know why.
He was not teaching them how to eat ramen; he was teaching them how to stay awake while being fed.
Endurance as a Form of Love
The actress is Nobuko Miyamoto, and her becoming is not accidental. In Tampopo, she isn’t playing a fantasy of a chef — she’s playing a becoming. Curious, awkward, determined, exhausted, joyful. The sweetness of her performance is earned, not cute. It is humility in motion.
She is becoming, not performing.
Tampopo is not introduced as naturally gifted or assured. She is earnest, visibly unsure, still learning where her body belongs. Her hands hover. Her posture betrays effort. Her body doesn’t yet know where to rest.
Miyamoto plays her with exposed sincerity — someone willing to be seen trying, failing, asking, learning. What makes the performance extraordinary is that it is physical before it is intellectual. You can see the learning happen in her shoulders, in her stance behind the counter, in the way she watches people eat.
Early on, she moves like someone apologizing for taking up space. By the end, she occupies the kitchen with quiet authority — not louder, not flashier, just settled.
She embodies:
humility without weakness
persistence without bravado
femininity without ornament
Her Tampopo is neither ingénue nor master. She is the apprentice in real time. And because of that, she becomes a stand-in for anyone who has learned through repetition, embarrassment, and endurance rather than innate confidence.
By the final scenes, when she wears the chef’s hat and stands fully integrated in her shop, the transformation feels earned because it is subtle. Miyamoto never signals triumph. She lets it arrive in stillness — in the way Tampopo watches, waits, and no longer needs to ask.
She doesn’t conquer the world. She learns how to belong in it.
The film’s insistence that good food requires endurance is one of the most honest depictions of kitchen life ever put on screen. It tells the truth chefs know in their bones:
You need physical strength. You need stamina. You need repetition until the body knows before the mind does. You need muscle memory, not inspiration.
Cooking is not just art. It is labor. Training. Load-bearing devotion.
That truth landed for me when I thought about lifting fifty-pound boxes at Gateway — not as metaphor, but as fact. Heavy produce. Hot sheet pans. Full stock pots, sloshing and awkward to carry. Wrists steady. Stance grounded. Timing exact.
At the time, it was just the work. Necessary. Relentless. But in hindsight, I see what it was doing. It was building capacity — real strength in forearms and shoulders, balance and endurance, the steadiness that keeps food safe and people fed.
Tampopo doesn’t romanticize this away. It honors it. It says plainly: devotion requires capacity.
You don’t get to offer nourishment unless your body can hold it. And so the work trains you — rep by rep, service by service — until strength stops being something you think about and becomes something you are.
That’s why the film resonates so deeply for me. Because I live that truth.
The enlightenment in Tampopo does not descend from above. It rises from the ground up — through sore feet, burned forearms, aching backs, repetition, humility, and care. The body learns first. The mind follows later.
Awakening, the film insists, is not delicate.
It is muscular.
It asks something of the body.
And only when the body is willing to carry the weight does the offering become true.
Nourishment as the Final Act
In the middle of the film, a brief vignette becomes one of its darkest mirrors. The moment with the dying woman is unmistakable in its gravity. She is at the end of her life—barely able to stand, her body already receding—yet her husband insists she rise and cook.
Not to nourish her, but to preserve the illusion of normalcy for himself.
Food, which everywhere else in Tampopo signifies reverence, care, and relationship, is inverted here. It becomes an instrument of denial. An insistence that nothing has changed. A refusal to witness her leaving. In this scene, nourishment is no longer love—it is erasure.
As she prepares the meal, he tells her that cooking will make her better.
She sways at the stove, one hand braced against the counter, the other trembling as it reaches for the pot. The room smells of rice and steam and something familiar enough to pretend this is an ordinary night. Her breath is shallow. Every movement costs her.
He sits at the table, waiting.
“Just like always,” he says, not looking at her—as if routine might hold her upright, as if the meal, completed, could seal the cracks already spreading through her body.
She cooks because that is what she has always done. Because standing here gives him something to believe in. Because if the food arrives, he doesn’t have to ask the question hovering between them.
When the bowl is set down, her hands linger on the rim for a moment too long. Then she folds—quietly, almost politely—as if slipping out of the room rather than leaving the world.
The food is still warm.
He eats.
He reframes her labor as healing, as duty, as something that might save her—when in truth, it only allows him to avoid what is already happening. When the family eats, he calls her “mom,” collapsing her identity into function: caregiver, nourisher, source. There is no space for her as a dying person with her own needs.
And when she finally collapses and dies, he keeps eating. Faster. More urgently. As if consumption itself might outrun grief. He refuses to stop, because to stop would be to acknowledge her death.
The symbolism is merciless. Appetite without presence becomes violence. Nourishment demanded instead of offered becomes erasure. Where Tampopo so often shows food as communion, this scene reveals its inverse: eating as a way of refusing to see what is gone.
It is one of the film’s hardest lessons—and one of its most honest.
That scene didn’t just disturb me — it stayed with me. What bothered me most wasn’t only that she died after cooking for her family, but how familiar the logic felt. The belief that if a woman just keeps giving, keeps feeding, keeps showing up, then everything will be okay. That her service is proof of love. That her exhaustion is irrelevant as long as the people around her are being sustained.
What landed hardest was the realization that no one stopped her. No one said, you don’t have to do this. No one asked what she needed. Her worth existed entirely in what she provided, not in her presence, her limits, or her life. And when she collapsed, the eating continued — faster, almost desperately — as if consumption itself could erase what had just been lost.
That recognition mirrored parts of my own life in a way I couldn’t ignore. The way being capable can quietly turn into being used. The way strength and generosity can train others not to notice when you’re depleted. The way love can become conditional on what you give rather than who you are. That’s why it landed so hard — not as metaphor, but as truth.
Eroticism as Attention, Not Indulgence
In the movie, eroticism follows the same logic as food — and that is precisely why it matters.
The vignette with whipped cream and salt on the body is not meant to arouse in a conventional sense. It is about taste crossing into intimacy. Salt heightens. Cream softens and carries. Together, they echo the same principles that govern the bowl of ramen: contrast, balance, restraint, attention.
The body becomes a surface for tasting rather than consuming. Pleasure is slow, deliberate, sensory — not rushed or devoured. What matters is not the act itself, but how it is approached: with focus, curiosity, and presence. This mirrors the film’s insistence that appetite — whether for food or for another person — is something to meet consciously, not conquer.
Placed alongside scenes of slurping noodles, apologizing to pork, or finishing every last drop of broth, the moment reinforces the film’s deeper argument: appetite is not something to suppress or indulge blindly. It is something to attend to.
The boundary between nourishment and intimacy quietly dissolves here. Both require timing, trust, vulnerability, and care. When attention is present, even something as simple as salt on skin becomes a form of communion.
This is why the scene isn’t an outlier — it’s a continuation. Tampopo keeps returning to the same truth from different angles: when we slow down, when we notice, when sensation is guided by awareness rather than impulse, ordinary acts become profound.
Eating. Touching. Loving.
The lovers passing a raw egg yolk from mouth to mouth create heat not through exposure, but through attention — breath held, timing precise, trust absolute. Sensuality here is not spectacle. It is presence.
And yet the film never romanticizes appetite blindly. Desire without attention becomes consumption. Desire met with care becomes sacred.
That distinction — again and again — is the point.
Age Is Not the Same as Wisdom
The old woman squeezing peaches in the market is one of the most unsettling moments in the film. She presses fruit until it bruises, touching food without intention to nourish, prepare, or share. The shop owner slaps her hand away — not gently, not ceremonially, but firmly — a boundary enforced by someone who understands that touch carries responsibility.
Later, the refined older man who first appears wise and patient is revealed as a trickster — impersonating someone else, stealing money, still trying to grab one last bite before arrest.
In Tampopo, the film dismantles the comforting idea that wisdom equals virtue. Slowness is not morality. Elegance is not purity. Even insight has appetite. Enlightenment does not erase desire — it makes us aware of it. Even wisdom leaves fingerprints.
What’s striking is that both of them are old. Age alone does not confer wisdom. What we’re watching is appetite without relationship. Sensation without care. The shadow of everything else the film reveres. Touch, when divorced from responsibility, curdles. And when the woman is seen — truly seen — she runs. Unconscious desire cannot survive awareness.
For the woman squeezing the peaches
Her lesson is about touch without care. She reaches for sensation with no intention to nourish, prepare, or share. Food, in this moment, is not relationship — it’s extraction. The shop owner’s slap isn’t cruelty; it’s correction. It says: if you touch, you are responsible for what you alter. Her flight when she is seen shows that unconscious desire cannot withstand awareness.
The lesson isn’t “don’t desire” — it’s that desire must be witnessed, bounded, and accountable. Appetite without relationship collapses.
For the refined older man
His lesson is about appearance without integrity. He moves slowly, speaks gently, wears the costume of wisdom. But refinement is not virtue, and patience is not proof of ethics. His final grasping — still wanting one more taste even as he’s exposed — reveals that appetite doesn’t disappear with age or insight.
The lesson here isn’t condemnation; it’s clarity. Enlightenment doesn’t erase desire. It makes us responsible for it. Wisdom, if it’s real, shows up in restraint, not aesthetics. Taken together The film refuses the fantasy that time civilizes desire on its own.
Age doesn’t redeem appetite — practice does. Care does. Presence does. Whether in a market, a kitchen, or a life, the moral line isn’t how old you are or how refined you appear, but whether your desire can stand being seen — and whether you’re willing to carry the consequences of your touch.
Mastery Is a Communal Act
What holds the film together — what makes it feel alive — is community. Tampopo does not become herself alone.
Me and My Gateway Girls
The Goddess Does Indeed Rock
Gorō isn’t a teacher in the formal sense. He doesn’t lecture or dominate. His role is steadier than that. He offers presence, safety, and discernment. He recognizes potential before it’s proven. While others bring technique, critique, or lineage, Gorō brings containment — the masculine principle of holding the space so becoming can happen.
He watches more than he speaks. He intervenes when necessary. He stands nearby while Tampopo learns, fails, practices, and grows. In many ways, he functions as the spine of the community that gathers around her: not the loudest force, but the stabilizing one.
The sensei. The truckers. The contractor from the bar fight. Each person arrives with a different gift: discipline, protection, feedback, lineage. Nourishment creates kinship. Learning is communal. Mastery is shared.
When the five men who helped her finally sit down to eat her ramen, the film reaches its quiet crescendo. Each man eats differently.
One slurps — instinctive, embodied, unapologetic.
One sips — careful, measured, attentive to nuance.
One pauses — reflective, letting the bowl speak before responding.
One studies — technical, evaluative, trained to notice balance and structure.
One devours — grateful, wholehearted, deeply hungry. None of them eat the same way, and none of them are wrong. What unites them is attention.
This, to me, is the clearest articulation of what we do with food. Nourishment is not received uniformly. A cook does not feed one kind of eater. We offer something shaped by discipline, repetition, and care, and then we release it.
We don’t control how it is met. We don’t demand a single response. We watch.
Tampopo stands behind the counter with nervous hands, holding herself back, witnessing.
Because the truth of the offering isn’t in praise or critique — it’s in the bowls.
One by one, every bowl is emptied. Different paths, same arrival. That’s how she knows. That’s how we know.
The film has trained us by now to notice how people eat. The music builds. Awareness builds. One by one, every bowl is emptied. Every last drop of broth gone. Faces soften. Satisfaction lands. Fulfillment arrives without a word.
She knows. We know. She did it.
Like Tampopo, I didn’t become a chef by declaring myself one. I became one through trial and error.
Through physical labor as much as intuition.
Through staying teachable.
Through wanting to be better without collapsing into inadequacy.
Through recognizing that mastery lives in the details — in the garnish placed last, in noticing what’s missing once everything else is already there.
The boar story is not about food — it’s about desire meeting mortality
The boar story in Tampopo refuses to let fulfillment become fantasy.
Its moral is simple and unsentimental:
Desire must be met while the body is able — because awareness alone is not enough.
The wild boar represents future appetite: a pleasure deferred, a moment imagined but not yet lived. Hunting it isn’t about conquest; it’s about readiness — being strong enough, present enough, alive enough to receive what you want. The boar exists in the realm of someday.
When the man tells the story as he is dying, he is naming what will never happen. He knows how the meat would taste. He knows how it should be eaten, and with whom. But knowledge arrives after capacity is gone.
That is the lesson.
Knowing is not the same as receiving
Tampopo keeps returning to this distinction:
knowing how to eat is not the same as eating imagining flavor is not the same as tasting understanding reverence is not the same as being able to receive it
The boar story says: do not postpone devotion. Appetite is not shameful — but it is time-bound.
Placed where it is, after mastery and triumph, the story delivers the film’s hardest truth: fulfillment does not protect you. Love does not buy more time. Skill does not grant extension.
And yet — attention still matters.
Why he tells a story instead of eating
Unable to eat, the man turns to language. Storytelling becomes his final act of appetite. When the body can no longer receive nourishment, meaning shifts forms.
He is seen. His desire is witnessed.
That is the film’s quiet mercy.
After triumph comes loss — and the film refuses to soften it
This scene arrives after success, after recognition. That placement matters.
Tampopo is unsentimental: mastery does not exempt you. Love does not delay death.
Still, attention dignifies the moment. She kneels with him. She listens. He is not alone.
The tragedy is not that he dies — it is that he knows exactly how he would have eaten that meal, and never will.
Uncomfortable truths
This story felt familiar not because of the loss, but because of its timing. How often understanding arrives only after the body has already lived the moment.
The lesson was never about holding on. It was about showing up — meeting life while it is still alive. Letting something matter without demanding permanence.
The boar is not meant to be possessed. It is meant to be met — while there is breath, strength, and time.
Why the film doesn’t soften this moment
Because Tampopo isn’t a fantasy about food.
It’s a meditation on impermanence.
Appetite can outlast the body. Imagination can survive capacity. Meaning is not erased by death — but it is cut short.
And still, attention matters.
Why this scene matters in the context of the whole film
Every other scene teaches us how to eat while we can. This one shows us what happens when we cannot.
If the opening scene says, “Look at the bowl. Inhale. Apologize to the pork,” this scene says, “One day, you will only remember how it tasted.”
And that’s why it hurts.
Because it’s true.
The Vignettes as a Moral Arc
What can seem like a series of disconnected sketches in Tampopo is actually a single, deliberate arc. Each vignette turns the same question slightly in the light: how do we meet appetite?
The early scenes show appetite without awareness — eating, desiring, consuming on impulse. These moments aren’t condemnations; they’re portraits of sleepwalking. The problem isn’t hunger or desire, but the absence of attention.
As the film unfolds, appetite slows. Instruction appears. Ritual emerges. Food is observed before it is eaten. Bodies are attended to rather than used. Humor sharpens into teaching, training the viewer to notice.
Midway through, appetite becomes relational. Desire meets intimacy, responsibility, and care. Nourishment is no longer solitary; it requires presence with another.
Then the film turns. Appetite meets its limits. The dying man who can only tell a story. The woman forced to cook as she collapses. Desire persists after capacity is gone. Awareness alone is shown to be insufficient.
The arc closes with return: a baby nursing. Appetite at its most innocent. No mastery, no instruction — just presence. Hunger → discipline → devotion → loss → renewal.
Seen this way, the vignettes aren’t interruptions; they are the story. Each asks the same quiet question:
Are you consuming — or are you attending?
By the end, the answer isn’t explained. It’s lived.
The film ends where life begins: with a baby nursing at its mother’s breast. The most innocent form of nourishment. What begins as instinct becomes ritual, mastery, culture — and then returns to innocence again, consciously.
The circle closes.
As I sat with it, the film unfolded like a quiet mirror, reflecting my life over the past year — shaped by labor, repetition, loss, and the slow arrival of clarity.
This movie feels like one of those moments where life leans in and says, Here. See this. This is for you.
The boar story became uncomfortably familiar — not because of the loss itself, but because of what it revealed about timing. About how easy it is to understand something only after the body has already lived it. I recognize that pattern in my own life: moments where love, connection, or possibility existed fully in the present, but only became clear once they had already passed through me. Not as regret. As learning.
What I see now is that the lesson was never about holding on. It was about showing up. Being present while the moment was still alive. Saying yes without demanding permanence. Letting something matter without needing to keep it.
Some relationships arrive not to be completed, but to teach presence — and then ask to be released once the lesson has landed.
That this realization arrived on the Winter Solstice feels less like coincidence and more like alignment. The longest night. The pause point. The inhale before light returns.
Capricorn understands this. Endurance. Structure. Lineage. Mastery earned through repetition. Not ease — continuation.
Now we begin to turn back toward the light. Not all at once. Minute by minute. Day by day.
That’s how real change happens. That’s how chefs are made. That’s how identity settles.
Watching Tampopo sent me back to my original ramen recipe from 2019 — not to reinvent it, but to finally give it the attention and reverence it deserved.
What I thought was finished was only the beginning.
This ramen is a reworked version of my 2019 recipe, and is now an act of attention rather than speed. Inspired by Tampopo, it’s built slowly, layer by layer, with reverence for process and the body that carries it.
A long-simmered vegetable broth forms the foundation, deepened with kombu, white miso, gochujang, and shio koji, where fermentation replaces force and time does the real work. Shiitake mushrooms and ginger anchor the base, while tofu is patiently browned and miso-glazed into something quietly substantial.
Finished Tampopo-style, the bowl is completed — not decorated — with menma made from simmered bamboo shoots, thinly sliced negi, nori, and crisp bean sprouts. Each garnish serves a purpose: texture, contrast, breath. Nothing is rushed. Nothing is accidental.
This is vegan ramen that doesn’t imitate richness — it earns it. Light, clear, and deeply satisfying, it’s meant to be eaten deliberately: inhale first, sip the broth, finish every last drop.
12–16 oz extra-firm tofu, pressed and cut into bite-size cubes
1 tbsp toasted sesame oil
2 tbsp white miso
1 tbsp vegan soy sauce
2 tbsp water
Noodles and Greens
12 oz somen, udon, or ramen noodles
4 heads baby bok choy, quartered lengthwise
1 Fresno chile, seeded and sliced lengthwise
Tampopo-Style Menma (Bamboo Shoots)
1 can bamboo shoots, drained and rinsed very well
1 tsp toasted sesame oil
½ cup water
2 tbsp vegan soy sauce
1 tbsp mirin
1½ tbsp shio koji (or 1 tbsp white miso if needed)
½ tsp sugar (optional)
Instructions
Make the Broth
Heat a Dutch oven over medium heat. Add 1 tbsp sesame oil.
Add sliced onion and cook slowly until soft and translucent, about 3–4 minutes.
Lower heat slightly and add garlic and ginger. Continue cooking until onions deepen to a rich golden color and everything smells warm and fragrant, about 3 more minutes.
Add shiitake mushrooms and cook until they soften and release their moisture, 1–2 minutes.
Pour in vegetable stock. Add kombu, mirin, and gochujang.
Bring just to a gentle simmer — never a hard boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer uncovered for 30–45 minutes.
Remove kombu. Stir in miso, soy sauce, and shio koji. Taste and adjust gently. Add black pepper if needed. Keep broth warm and quiet.
Prepare the Tofu
Heat a skillet over medium heat and add 1 tbsp sesame oil.
Add tofu cubes in a single layer. Cook undisturbed until lightly golden, then turn and continue cooking until browned on all sides, about 10 minutes total.
In a small bowl, mix miso, soy sauce, and water.
Lower heat slightly and carefully pour sauce over tofu. Stir gently and cook 1 more minute until fragrant and glazed. Remove from heat.
Tampopo-Style Menma (Bamboo Shoots)
Place bamboo shoots in a saucepan, cover with fresh water, and simmer 10 minutes. Drain.
Return bamboo to pan. Add sesame oil, water, soy sauce, mirin, koji, and sugar.
Simmer uncovered 20–30 minutes until liquid reduces and bamboo is glossy and deeply seasoned.
Cool in liquid. Refrigerate up to 5 days.
Assemble the Ramen
Bring broth back to a gentle simmer.
Add noodles and bok choy. Cover and cook, stirring once, until noodles are tender and bok choy just wilts, about 4 minutes.
Add tofu to the pot. Turn off heat. Let rest 30 seconds.
Final Garnishes
Negi (green onion), thinly sliced on a bias and soaked briefly in ice water
Nori, cut into thin strips or gently torn
Bean sprouts, blanched 30 seconds and shocked in cold water
To Finish the Bowl
Ladle ramen into warmed bowls. Add tofu and bok choy evenly. Place menma deliberately. Add a small nest of negi. Lean nori against the bowl. Finish with a pinch of sprouts and Fresno chile.
Pause. Inhale. Eat deliberately. Finish every last drop.
This is ramen as the film teaches it: not rushed, not ornamental, not abstract — but earned, embodied, and complete.
Notes
This is not fast ramen. The broth improves with time. If possible, make it a day ahead and reheat gently.
Do not boil the kombu. Bring it to a bare simmer, then remove — bitterness is the enemy of clarity.
Shio koji adds depth and softness without heaviness. If unavailable, white miso can substitute, but the fermentation note will be quieter.
The tofu is meant to be savory and grounding, not crispy like a snack. Brown gently and glaze briefly.
Menma should be tender and glossy, not crunchy. Let it rest in its liquid for full flavor.
Garnish deliberately. This is the final five percent — what turns a good bowl into a complete one.
Eat while hot, but not rushed. This ramen rewards presence.
Both broth and menma can be made ahead of time. Up to 1-2 days in advance which drops day-of-prep down to 30 minutes.
Holiday baking has a way of slowing everything down. Not in a dramatic, snow-globe way — just enough to make the kitchen feel like the heart of the house again. There’s flour on the counter (and flour on Avery, of course), music in the background — everything from Nat King Cole to Avery doing a full SpongeBob SquarePants dance — and a general agreement that whatever else needs doing can wait.
My girls can sing and bake — two things I can’t really claim — and they’re both incredibly funny. They move easily between tasks, harmonizing without thinking about it, setting timers, sneaking tastes. It’s just fun to watch them as they’re getting older, to see the relationship they’ve built between themselves — the shorthand, the ease, the way they work side by side without needing much direction from me anymore.
It was also fun watching them make their annual gingerbread house this year. We’ve been doing that every year since Sidney was four, and she’ll be 21 in a few months. Somewhere along the way, it shifted from sticky chaos to actual planning. I have to say, they outdid themselves this year.
The kitchen has always had a way of connecting me to some of my fondest memories, and that includes making cookies as a kid.
These are traditions that were handed to me, and now I’m handing them forward — something moving quietly from my family to theirs. It’s not just about being in the moment; it’s about being in the memory. I have no doubt that what they’re making now is something they’ll want to recreate one day with their own children. Not because it’s expected, but because it feels like home.
It’s also just really nice having Sidney home from college. I don’t always realize how much I miss her until she’s here again — back in the mix, back at the counter, singing while something’s in the oven. You get used to the quiet when they’re gone, and then they come home and the house remembers itself.
These truffles are a vegan adaptation of a recipe that’s been part of our holidays for a long time. They’re simple, a little nostalgic, and meant to be made with extra hands nearby. No guarding. No saving for later. Just roll, dip, taste, repeat.
These truffles are incredible! Incredibly easy and incredibly delicious! This batch will make approximately 60 truffles. You can use the basic truffle recipe and modify anyway you want!
1 1/3 cup vegan white chocolate (for coating truffles)
Shredded Coconut, White Nonpareils, or Sparkling Sugar
Instructions
To make the truffle mixture:
To make the basic truffle mix, melt the chocolate and coconut oil in a glass dish over boiling water. Stirring constantly.
Remove dish from the heat and whisk in coconut milk, maple syrup and sea salt.
Divide the mixture into 3 bowls, one for each of the flavors.
For the chocolate orange truffles add the orange essence. Mix well.
For the dark chocolate raspberry truffles add dark rum and raspberry essence. Mix well.
For the vanilla truffles, add the vanilla essence. Mix well.
Put all three bowls in the fridge for at least 5 hours to fully firm up.
After the truffle mixes are firm, use a teaspoon to spoon out mixture and roll in your hands to make small balls, about half the size of golf balls.
Set out the truffles on parchment lined baking pans. Just make sure you know which flavor is which. Freeze for at least 3 hours.
To decorate:
In a glass bowl over boiling water, melt chocolate to cover the truffles in.
For the orange truffles, and the raspberry truffles melt the dark chocolate. For the vanilla truffles, melt white chocolate.
I like to use this chocolate dipping tool, but you can also use a fork. Dip truffles one by one into the melted chocolate, and place on a parchment lined baking sheet.
Immediately decorate each truffle, while the chocolate is still melted.
For the orange chocolates, sprinkle with flaky sea salt and orange zest, or edible gold dust powder. You can also add two thin slices of candied orange across the top. For raspberry truffles, dust in cocoa powder and ground dried raspberries. For vanilla truffles, sprinkle with coconut or white sparkling sugar (blue sanding sugar is also very pretty).
Put all covered and decorated truffles in the fridge for an hour or so to set. Then they can be served.
Notes
The truffles will last in an air tight container the fridge for 2-3 weeks. They can also be frozen.
Hyper-Independence, Attachment, and the Gendered Shape of Survival
Show and Tell
When I was in kindergarten, during the first week of school, we were asked to bring something from home that told the class something about us.
My parents had just split, and we were living with my grandparents. It was disorienting. Nothing felt settled. I remember standing alone in the back bedroom, looking at my things, trying to decide what could speak for me. The room felt temporary, like none of it quite belonged to me. I picked things up and put them back down. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt like enough.
I wanted to bring something that mattered.
So I brought a trophy.
I don’t remember choosing it so much as holding it. It was heavy in my tiny hands. Solid. It felt like something that could justify my place in the room. It was my grandmother’s bowling trophy. Her name was engraved on the bottom: Wanda Thornton.
At school, I stood at the front of the room.
The kids sat on the floor in front of me, gathered close together. Mrs. Welcher, my kindergarten teacher, sat behind them, perched on a desk, watching. I remember the weight of the trophy in my small hands. I remember passing it forward, letting it move from hand to hand. I don’t remember what I said while I was talking. I only remember that she let me tell my story.
The kids passed it carefully from one to another. When it made its way back to her, she turned it over.
Most of the kids didn’t know how to read yet. But she did.
She looked at the name and asked, gently, who Wanda Thornton was.
My chest tightened. My face flushed.
I knew then that the proof I had brought could fall apart. That if the other kids realized the trophy wasn’t mine, it would be confirmation—public and unmistakable—that I had nothing of my own to show. That who I was might not be enough on its own.
“That’s my real name,” I said.
It was the first lie I remember telling.
Not to deceive. Not to impress. But to protect what little ground I felt I had.
Mrs. Welcher didn’t expose me.
She didn’t embarrass me.
She didn’t take the story away.
She simply looked at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen.
When I saw her eyes, I knew she knew.
And I knew something else, too: she was holding my secret.
She didn’t correct me. She didn’t turn the truth outward. She didn’t let the room see what she saw.
She held it.
She held the weight of what she knew and kept me intact.
She didn’t just see a child with a trophy that wasn’t hers. She saw a child who couldn’t yet see herself.
She didn’t give me words. She gave me time.
That was the first time I learned what trust felt like—not as instruction, but as experience. Being seen without being exposed. Known without being harmed.
Little Girl Lost
That moment did not happen in isolation.
Living with my grandparents became intolerable for my mother. So she left.
She took my brother with her. And I stayed.
I don’t remember that as a decision so much as a fact—something that happened before I had language for preference or protest.
My grandparents were loving to me. I felt safe there. I felt like I had a place.
That house had a rhythm I could trust. In the kitchen, I was given small, real tasks—ways to belong without having to perform. I learned to cook there, standing beside my grandmother, being handed responsibility that felt steady instead of heavy. I helped her set the table. I was the one who got to tell my grandpa when dinner was ready.
Those moments mattered.
They weren’t about achievement or usefulness as survival. They were about participation. About being included. About knowing I had a role because I was wanted, not because I was needed to hold things together.
That sense of safety—the feeling of being anchored, of having a place—was real. And it is why losing it landed the way it did.
Later, when I was in third grade, my mother moved my soon-to-be stepfather into the house she was living in. She married not for love, but for safety—for stability, for protection she did not feel she had on her own.
And then they came for me.
There was no we’re coming for you this weekend. No what are your thoughts. No warning at all.
It was get your things. Let’s go. Now.
The decision had already been made.
I understand now that my mother knew it wouldn’t be easy. That it wouldn’t happen without resistance. I’m sure she prepared him for that—not because she wanted a fight, but because she expected one.
Because something in my grandparents would not move quietly.
That knowledge didn’t make what followed cruel. But it did make it final.
There was no space for hesitation. No room for orientation. No time to gather myself emotionally before being asked to leave what felt like the last place I understood.
The Night the Ground Shifted
My grandfather stepped in.
What followed was not a conversation. It became a confrontation.
I remember the escalation more than the details—the sense that the ground I was standing on was no longer solid, that the adults in the room were deciding something about my life while my body was still trying to understand what was happening. What had felt like safety only moments before was suddenly unavailable.
I was traumatized deeply.
Not because anyone intended to harm me, but because something essential was taken without consent: continuity. Choice. The sense that comfort could be trusted to remain.
When we arrived back home that night, I was spanked.
Not out of cruelty. Not out of hatred. But because my resistance and my crying were seen as defiance.
There was overwhelm in the room. Authority needed to be restored. And at the time, there was a belief—widely held—that compliance was the way forward, that a child’s distress was something to be corrected rather than understood.
Still, it landed.
What I learned in that moment was not about punishment. It was about power.
That saying no did not stop what was coming. That my body’s protest did not change the outcome. And that I had only myself to rely on.
That adapting was safer than resisting.
It would not be the last time I was pulled from what felt secure, only to be asked—implicitly—to find my way again.
Those two and a half years at my grandparents’ house would be the longest I lived anywhere as a child. I wouldn’t stay in one place that long again until my junior year of college.
I didn’t notice the symmetry at the time. I only know now that my nervous system learned something early about impermanence. That staying was rare. That settling was temporary. That belonging had an expiration date.
So when it ended, I learned to move.
Learning to Survive
After few months my mother married him, the pattern didn’t disappear. It reorganized.
My mother sank into a deep depression. She rarely left her room.
And when she wasn’t depressed, she was either oblivious or enraged—present in body, but unpredictable in tone. The house could feel absent one moment and volatile the next. There was no steady middle ground to rest in.
There was no announcement, no explicit handoff of responsibility. Life simply needed to keep moving, and someone had to tend to it.
That was when I cleaned the house in between doing homework. That was when I cooked dinner between assignments. That was when I did laundry—because if I didn’t, there were no clean clothes, no towels.
That was when I learned to read the room, smooth tension, and take responsibility early.
This is also when hyper-independence begins to settle into a child—most often between the ages of six and ten. Old enough to notice emotional shifts. Old enough to intervene. Too young to leave.
The nervous system learns a quiet rule: If I stay alert, things go better. If I manage myself, I reduce risk. If I don’t need too much, I can stay.
This was not responsibility as contribution. It was responsibility as regulation.
No one asked me to do this. And no one meant for it to cost what it did.
But it shaped me all the same.
When consistent emotional containment is absent, the child becomes the container.
Clinical Definition of Hyper-Independence
Hyper-independence is a trauma-adapted coping pattern characterized by an excessive reliance on oneself and a persistent avoidance of depending on others, even when support is available, appropriate, or needed.
Clinically, it is understood not as a personality trait, but as a protective strategy that develops in response to early environments where:
caregivers were emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, overwhelmed, or unpredictable
expressing needs led to rejection, punishment, instability, or role reversal (this was a big one for me, I was often more the parent)
reliance increased risk rather than safety
In these conditions, the nervous system learns that self-containment is safer than connection.
Core Features (Clinical Markers)
Hyper-independence often includes:
Chronic difficulty asking for help (i.e., control freak)
Guilt or anxiety around having needs
Over-functioning in relationships (doing, managing, fixing)
Emotional self-sufficiency that masks unmet attachment needs
Discomfort receiving care or rest
Preference for control over mutual reliance
High competence paired with internal exhaustion
Importantly, these behaviors are adaptive, not pathological. They once increased survival and emotional stability.
Hyper-Independence in Adulthood
In adult intimate relationships, this pattern didn’t disappear. It translated.
I found myself aligned with people whose inner world was unstable, inconsistent, or difficult to access—not because chaos was desired, but because the structure was familiar.
These relationships organized themselves around imbalance. One person struggled to remain present or regulated. The other became the steady one—anticipating shifts, managing emotional weather, absorbing volatility.
Care became the structure of the relationship.
Intensity replaced consistency. Need replaced reciprocity. Apology replaced repair.
Fixing felt like closeness. Endurance felt like love.
It took many years to see this clearly. Years of explaining away my own hunger. Years of feeling tired but loyal. Years of mistaking steadiness for intimacy and exhaustion for devotion.
Breadcrumbs felt tolerable because they didn’t require rest. They didn’t require trust. They didn’t require relinquishing control.
Breadcrumbs belong in recipes.
Guilt, Boundaries, and Returning Responsibility
One of the quiet costs of hyper-independence is guilt around having needs at all.
Saying no can feel dangerous. Expressing desire can feel selfish. Setting a boundary can feel like betrayal.
Especially when you’ve learned that speaking up causes other people to fall apart, blow up, or collapse into victimhood.
So instead of expressing ourselves, we manage. We regulate. We absorb.
We keep the system steady because confrontation feels like too much. Because we know how costly it can be.
But here is the truth that took me years to live into:
Managing someone else’s emotions does not help them. It prevents them from ever having to take responsibility for their own inner world.
When we stop managing other people’s emotions, one of two things happens to them. Some people recognize the pattern and grow.
Most do not. They find blame. Or collapse. Or make themselves the victim—which reactivates guilt.
That doesn’t mean the boundary was wrong.
It means the relationship was built on you carrying what they would not.
It took me years to say this to my mother. And when I finally did, I said it gently and clearly:
I love you. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t owe you this role. You owe it to yourself to notice this pattern.
That was not abandonment. It was honesty.
We are not an endless cup. We are not responsible for regulating other people’s emotional lives.
Boundaries are not punishments. They are information.
They return responsibility to where it belongs.
Recovery and Reorientation
Healing hyper-independence doesn’t mean becoming dependent or losing your strength.
It looks quieter than that.
It looks like pausing before fixing. Speaking directly instead of managing silently. Letting others feel their own discomfort without absorbing it. (Not easy, but vital)
In healthy relationships, care moves in both directions. Responsibility is shared. Rest is built into the bond.
You don’t have to be the strongest one in the room to be loved.
What a Healthy Relationship Feels Like
1. Needs can be named without guilt
You can say:
“I need help.”
“That didn’t work for me.”
“I need some time.”
…and the relationship does not destabilize.
No one collapses. No one explodes. No one makes you responsible for managing their reaction.
Your needs are information, not threats.
2. Responsibility is shared, not absorbed
Both people notice what needs attention.
You are not:
tracking emotional temperature alone
fixing tension before it’s named
carrying the relational load by default
Care moves in both directions, naturally and without scorekeeping.
3. Boundaries create closeness instead of distance
In a healthy relationship, boundaries don’t end connection—they shape it.
A “no” doesn’t require justification. A limit doesn’t trigger punishment or withdrawal. Repair follows disagreement instead of avoidance.
Boundaries make trust possible because they make safety predictable.
4. Presence replaces intensity
Connection doesn’t rely on highs and lows to feel real.
There is:
consistency instead of urgency
follow-through instead of promises
calm that feels trustworthy, not boring
You don’t have to earn closeness through effort or endurance.
5. You don’t have to be anything but you to belong
You can show up tired, unsure, or incomplete.
You don’t need to:
be impressive
be useful
be “the strong one”
Love is not contingent on what you provide.
6. Repair is possible and expected
Missteps happen. They’re addressed.
The relationship includes:
acknowledgment without defensiveness
accountability without shame
change over time, not just apology
You don’t have to manage the repair alone.
7. Rest is allowed
This is a quiet but crucial sign.
You can relax in the relationship without scanning for what’s about to go wrong. Your nervous system isn’t on constant alert.
You don’t feel responsible for holding everything together.
Right Correction
This year, something shifted.
Once a truth is fully seen, remaining the same becomes unbearable.
My resolution is not aspirational. It is corrective.
I no longer have to borrow proof to justify my place in the room.
For a long time, standing meant performing. It meant reading the space and deciding what version of myself would be safest there. It meant arriving prepared—with competence, with usefulness, with something to offer—so I could stay.
That was never vanity. It was survival.
When worth once felt conditional, proof became protection. Achievement became permission. Strength became a way to belong without needing.
But I don’t live there anymore.
I know who I am now.
What I Will Do Going Forward
Going forward, I will notice when I step in too quickly.
When I feel the familiar pull to manage, to smooth, to fix, I will pause. I will ask myself whether what I’m about to do is care—or control born from old vigilance.
I will practice asking directly for what I need instead of proving I don’t need anything at all.
I will let discomfort exist—mine and other people’s—without rushing to resolve it. I will trust that adults can carry their own emotions, even when it’s hard, even when it’s messy.
I will say no without apology and without over-explaining. I will allow disappointment to inform my choices instead of something I silently endure.
In relationships, I will choose reciprocity over familiarity. I will notice whether care flows in both directions, whether responsibility is shared, whether presence is consistent rather than intense.
I will stop confusing endurance with love.
At work and in leadership, I will delegate instead of absorbing.
I will be clear instead of accommodating.
I will trust people with responsibility rather than protecting them from it—and trust myself enough to step back.
With my children, I will model something different.
I will invite their voices. I will let them have needs. I will show them that asking for help is not failure, and that rest does not have to be earned.
And when old patterns surface—as they sometimes will—I will meet them with curiosity instead of judgment. I will remember that hyper-independence kept me safe once. I will thank it—and I will not let it drive anymore.
I am not here to survive my life. I am here to live it.
And from here forward, I choose connection that does not require self-erasure, love that includes rest, and a way of being that no longer asks me to stand alone to belong.
And because I know that, the child who once stood in the back bedroom—turning objects over in her hands, wondering what might finally make her matter—no longer has to solve that question alone.
She doesn’t have to earn space. She doesn’t have to justify herself. She doesn’t have to manage the room to remain inside it.
She is loved. She is enough. And she gets to stand exactly as she is.
Not alert. Not braced. Not performing.
Just here.
And that is where the pattern ends.
Your Needs Matter
This is how the pattern begins.
When a child does not get to decide— when choices are made for their body, for their belonging, for their sense of safety— they learn that needs are negotiable. That stability comes from compliance. That staying requires adaptation.
When expressing themselves leads to upheaval— to someone falling apart, erupting, or withdrawing— they learn to manage instead of ask. To contain instead of feel. To hold the system together rather than risk becoming a problem within it.
So they become capable. They become steady. They become the one who can be counted on.
And over time, that strategy hardens into identity.
Hyper-independence is not born from confidence. It is born from necessity.
It looks like doing everything yourself. Like anticipating needs before they’re spoken. Like managing emotional weather quietly. Like feeling guilty for wanting more. Like saying yes while your body is saying no.
It looks like love that exhausts you. Like relationships where you carry the weight and others never have to. Like being praised for strength while starving for rest.
And here is how the pattern breaks.
Not through confrontation. Not through blame. But through recognition.
The moment someone realizes: My needs are real. My voice matters. I am not responsible for managing other people’s emotional lives.
When the work stops being absorbed, responsibility returns to where it belongs.
Some people rise to meet it.
Most do not. (My mother took it as a personal affront)
I had to lower my emotional expectations from her.
I had to grieve this:
My mother is not the person I can:
process feelings with
seek comfort from
expect emotional safety from
That doesn’t mean no relationship. It means knowing the limits (mine and hers)
That does not make the boundary wrong.
Boundaries are not punishments. They are information.
They say: this is where I end, and you begin. They create the possibility of mutuality instead of management. Of love that includes reciprocity.
By doing this I also expect guilt from my mother, but I no longer negotiate with it. (The crazy thing is she has a Master’s in Psychology, talk about not seeing the forest for the trees…)
When her behavior is pointed out, her escalation is often followed by:
tears
self-blame
“I guess I’m just a terrible mother”
“You don’t care about me”
These are regulation bids, not emergencies.
I now respond with:
“I’m not saying that.” (Please don’t twist my words to suit your narrative, it’s manipulative.)
“I love you and I’m still holding this boundary.”
“We can talk when things are calmer.” This is a big one.
So this is what anyone living this pattern deserves to hear now:
You matter. Your needs matter. You were never meant to earn belonging by holding everything together.
You are allowed to stop managing. You are allowed to ask. You are allowed to rest without apology.
And when this recognition is lived—not just understood—something changes forward as well as backward.
Children raised by someone who knows this get to have needs. They get to have voices. They don’t have to manage the room to belong in it.
And because of that, something different is passed on.
Not survival. But safety.
Not endurance. But choice.
Not silence. But love that meets people where they are.
Life has its cycles. To everything there is a season.
It’s the same truth the Byrds sang in Turn! Turn! Turn!, with lyrics written by Pete Seeger, drawn from the ancient cadence of Ecclesiastes. A time to every purpose under heaven.
I’ve always understood life this way — through music as much as through food. Songs, like recipes, teach us timing. When to move. When to wait. When to gather. When to release.
Winter is often mistaken for absence. But winter isn’t empty. It’s full of quiet labor: rest, repair, integration. The harvest is complete. The fields are bare not because something is missing, but because everything that could be taken has been taken.
What comes next isn’t action. It’s holding.
What This Year Taught Me
What I’ve been learning is how to taste the difference between what satisfies a craving and what feeds me well and authentically.
Some flavors arrive quickly and pass through. Others move more slowly, offering real nourishment — a sense of being held over time.
This understanding has become part of how I care for myself. It invites me to notice what I take in and what I let go of — not as restriction, but as health — listening for what truly feeds me and allowing that to be enough.
Feeding the body has taught me how to feed the soul.
Knowing When Something Is Finished
Knowing when something is finished is like cooking.
You can follow a recipe, watch the clock, check all the signs — but in the end, it isn’t timing that tells you. It’s attention. You taste. You notice texture. You feel when the heat has done what it came to do.
If you keep cooking past that point, nothing improves. The flavors dull. The dish loses its integrity.
Endings are the same. They don’t ask to be analyzed forever. They ask to be removed from the heat.
Stopping isn’t failure. It’s skill.
And knowing when a recipe is done — when to turn off the flame, when to let it rest — is one of the quiet ways we learn to care for ourselves.
There comes a moment when you stop revisiting the ending. Not because it didn’t matter — but because it’s finished.
What ended didn’t fail. It completed its work.
Winter Food
This is the season when I stop cooking my way forward and start cooking to stay.
Meals become less about brightness and novelty and more about warmth, digestion, and steadiness. Food that doesn’t spike or crash, but carries you gently through long nights and short days.
Beans. Stock. Roots. Slow heat. Spices that warm without burning.
Food that says to the body: You can rest now.
After the Harvest Soup
This is the soup that makes sense here.
When the harvest is complete and the seeds of spring have not yet been planted.
When the body carries a soft sadness for what was — and needs nourishment more than distraction.
This isn’t a soup for beginnings. It’s a soup for holding.
Vegan. Warming. Built slowly and intentionally.
Olive oil. An onion softened without hurry. Garlic and ginger, gently bloomed. Coriander — round, grounding, calm. Carrots and fennel. Mushrooms for depth.
Beans, because sustenance matters. A rich vegetable stock — not water — because nourishment is something you build.
Everything simmers low and long. Nothing rushed. Nothing forced.
At the end, black pepper. A handful of greens. A quiet lift of lemon — not to brighten things, but to remind the body it will return to the light.
Full flavor takes time. So does letting go.
A Closing
Winter isn’t asking us to fix anything.
It’s asking us to rest, to digest what we’ve lived, to honor what has been given — even when the lessons were hard.
To love our lives enough to tend them properly.
There will be time for seeds. For momentum. For growth.
For now, there is warmth. There is nourishment. There is enough.
What This Soup Offers the Body
This soup is built to restore rather than stimulate.
It warms digestion without overheating it, supports immunity without force, and nourishes the nervous system during a season of rest.
Beans provide steady protein, iron, and fiber — grounding blood sugar and offering sustained energy rather than a spike and crash.
Garlic and ginger support immune response and circulation, gently warming the body from the inside out.
Coriander and fennel calm the digestive tract, reduce inflammation, and help the body assimilate nourishment more easily — especially in cold months.
Mushrooms offer minerals and immune-supportive compounds while adding depth and satiety.
Vegetable stock replenishes electrolytes and supports hydration when appetite is low or uneven.
Winter greens supply chlorophyll, folate, and magnesium — quietly rebuilding after depletion.
Olive oil carries fat-soluble nutrients and supports cellular health.
From an Ayurvedic perspective, this soup pacifies vata — the cold, dry, restless energy of winter — through warmth, moisture, and slow-cooked nourishment.
A vegan, warming winter soup for the space after endings and before renewal. Slow-built, deeply nourishing, and grounding — designed to steady the body, support immunity, and offer comfort without heaviness. This is food for when the work is done and rest becomes the medicine.
Ingredients
Scale
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large onion, thinly sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, grated
1½ teaspoons ground coriander
2 carrots, chopped
1 fennel bulb, sliced (fronds reserved if desired)
8 oz mushrooms (cremini or shiitake), sliced
1½–2 cups cooked white beans (cannellini or navy)
6–7 cups rich vegetable stock
1 bay leaf
Fresh thyme or rosemary (optional)
Sea salt, to taste
Freshly ground black pepper
2–3 cups chopped winter greens (kale, chard, or spinach)
Lemon zest or a small splash of lemon juice
Instructions
Warm the olive oil in a heavy pot over medium-low heat. Add the onion with a pinch of salt and cook slowly until soft and translucent, 8–10 minutes.
Add garlic, ginger, and coriander. Stir gently until fragrant—about 30 seconds. Do not rush this step.
Add carrots, fennel, and mushrooms. Cook until the mushrooms release their moisture and the vegetables begin to soften.
Stir in the beans, stock, bay leaf, and herbs. Bring just to a simmer, then lower the heat and cook gently for 25–35 minutes.
Taste. Adjust salt. Let the flavors settle.
Add the greens and cook just until wilted. Turn off the heat. Finish with black pepper and lemon zest or juice.
Enjoy!
Notes
(Vegan · Warming · Immune-supportive · Winter)
Kitchen Notes:
Go low and slow. The flavor of this soup depends on patience. Keep the heat gentle and let time do the work.
Use real stock. A well-made vegetable stock gives this soup its depth. Water won’t carry the same holding quality.
Coriander is the spine. It warms without heat and supports digestion. Let it bloom gently with the aromatics.
Beans over grains. Beans offer grounding protein and steadier energy during winter, without heaviness.
Finish lightly. The lemon isn’t meant to brighten — just to wake the flavors enough to feel complete.
Better the next day. Like most winter food, this soup deepens after resting. Make it ahead if you can.
Adjust for what’s on hand. This is a template, not a prescription. Root vegetables, greens, and mushrooms can shift with the season.
Serve simply. No garnish required. Warm bowls, quiet company, or solitude are enough.
A Kitchen Oracle Blessing
May what has ended be honored. May what remains be enough. May the next fire rise in its own time.
Some writings are not meant to explain a life, but to consecrate it.
This is not a story told to claim, persuade, or resolve. It is an act of giving back—of recognizing what moved through encounter, art, song, presence, and silence, and returning it to its source with care.
What was offered to me did not always arrive as understanding. Sometimes it came as warmth. Sometimes as distance. Sometimes through witness, through shared creation, or through a truth spoken sideways. Each was real. Each left its mark. None belonged to me to keep.
To take something from the heart and the soul and place it on the page is not possession. It is release. It is the moment when experience is returned to meaning, and meaning is allowed to become timeless.
In this way, writing becomes a vessel. Not for memory alone, but for recognition.
What is named here is not owned. What is honored here is not bound.
It is simply set down— so that what passed through can remain, not as attachment, but as truth.
This is not something I could have sat down and written a year ago. It arrived only through living, through attention, through the slow attunement that comes when experience is allowed to complete itself.
It required distance as much as closeness—the ability not only to see a tree, but to step back far enough to see the forest, and to recognize that meaning often reveals itself only when one is no longer standing inside the moment, but witnessing from beyond it.
Before entering what follows, it helps to know what a sutta is.
In the Buddhist tradition, a sutta is not a doctrine or a set of beliefs, but a teaching offered in story, image, and lived example. It is meant to be encountered slowly, listened to rather than analyzed, and allowed to work on the reader in its own time.
A sutta does not argue its truth. It reveals it—through attention, through presence, through what becomes visible when something is seen clearly. A sutta uses functional, elemental symbolism—fire, water, seeing, clinging—not as metaphor for personality, but as processes meant to be recognized rather than interpreted.
Traditional Buddhist suttas are spare, didactic, and non-narrative, designed to point directly to how suffering arises and ends. My piece is not a Buddhist sutta in the doctrinal sense; it is a narrative, relational work inspired by that form and restraint.
In particular, it echoes the fire imagery of the Adittapariyaya Sutta, attributed to Gautama Buddha, where fire represents craving and continues only so long as it has fuel.
Where the Buddha’s teaching emphasizes liberation through the cessation of grasping, my sutta explores completion through integrity—how presence ends not through rejection or renunciation, but because the work has been fully done and nothing remains unresolved.
What follows is written in that spirit.
It does not ask to be agreed with. It asks only to be entered.
Ādittapariyāya Sutta
(The Discourse on Being Aflame)
The Fire
The fire began as an ember—small, unremarkable, ancient. Its source was not personal. It arose from what had always been present, a current moving through the world long before it was named.
It was not earned. It was entrusted.
At first, the fire did not understand itself.
It learned quickly that it could warm. It learned, too, that it could burn.
Much like the teachings that speak of burning not as punishment but as instruction, the fire learned that harm was never its purpose—only a signal that it had not yet found its proper use.
When it spread without containment, mistaking reach for purpose, it scorched what it touched. Not from malice, but from innocence—because power unacquainted with itself has no sense of boundary.
When the blaze collapsed, the forest was left bare. The silence that followed was not peace, but consequence.
And the fire learned.
It learned that it did not need to burn everything to the ground to be powerful. That flame could rise higher without spreading wider. That intensity could lift upward while remaining rooted.
Containment did not diminish the fire. Containment revealed it.
So the fire learned to stand— upright, awake, complete— a vessel rather than a wildfire.
It became a hearth. Not a trial. Not a test.
A place where what arrived could be seen clearly.
Only then did the fire understand its nature: not to change what came to it, but to illuminate what was already there.
The Lion
The world carries a story about lions.
They are said to be conquerors, rulers, creatures of dominance and spectacle—symbols of force mistaken for authority. Strength, in this telling, must always be asserted. Power must always be proven.
But that is not what a lion is.
A lion is a protector. A keeper of territory. A presence that stabilizes by being awake within its bounds.
In the wild, lions do not fight endlessly. They conserve energy. They rest. They watch. Their strength lives in discernment—in knowing when action is required and when stillness holds more authority. A roar is not a threat; it is a boundary.
Still, the world leans on the lion.
From birth, bravery lived in his bones. It was not something he chose; it was something he was. And because of that, he was asked to endure more than he should have been asked to endure. Others mistook his capacity to hold for proof that he needed nothing himself.
Much approached him for what he represented, not for who he was.
When he saw the fire, it did not feel like challenge. It felt like recognition.
He approached and sat. He did not brace himself.
The fire did not test him. It warmed him.
And for the first time in longer than he could remember, the lion allowed himself to receive warmth without obligation—heat against bone, breath loosening where vigilance had lived.
The fire asked him one question:
What do you do with love once you are no longer afraid of it?
The Lion answered by slowing. By letting heat rise without immediately turning it into motion. By allowing fear to be felt instead of outrun. By entering emotion rather than directing around it.
The Lion answered by grieving what was lost without forging it into fuel, by receiving joy without needing to claim it.
Curiosity replaced assumption. Listening came before command.
Movement returned only when it aligned— fire guided by heart, will held inside awareness.
Nothing was proven.
Warmth was enough.
The Lesson
The fire did not test the Lion’s strength. It tested his honesty.
The Lion knew how to gather others around the flame. Belonging came easily to him.
But beneath the circle, the fire exposed what he carried alone.
Anxiety that prowled the night. Thoughts that would not rest. A mind that replayed what could be lost, what might fail, what love might cost.
So the fire softened him.
It drew him inward, toward feeling— toward the waters he had learned to command but not always to enter.
Emotion rose not as weakness, but as truth asking to be held.
When the weight grew too heavy, the fire showed him how to move on without fleeing.
Not escape— but passage.
Leaving behind what no longer needed to be suffered in order to prove endurance.
Ahead, the horizon widened.
The Lion learned to look forward without abandoning the present, to stand between what had been and what could be, and feel satisfaction without conquest.
Joy without performance. Desire without grasping.
From that place, a new current opened.
Love that did not rush. Love that did not burn itself out. Love that arrived cleanly, not to be earned, not to be chased.
Curiosity followed.
The Lion began to ask instead of assume. To observe instead of dominate. To listen to what feeling was teaching before acting upon it.
And then—the grief.
Not dramatic. Not punishing. Just honest recognition of what had been missed, what could not be recovered, what had mattered more than he allowed himself to admit.
The fire did not shame him for this.
It clarified him.
From the ash, the Lion rose differently.
Not louder— truer.
Authority returned, not as force, but as alignment.
Action guided by heart, fire held by consciousness.
The lesson was not how to lead others.
It was how to lead himself without abandoning love.
The fire had done its work. The fire had served its purpose.
The Crow
The world carries a story about crows.
They are cast as messengers of ruin, not because they cause endings, but because they refuse to look away from them. Across cultures, the crow is blamed for what it witnesses. In old stories, it is the bird that returns from the edge with news no one asked for—thought and memory carried back intact. It perches where power has fallen, where illusions have failed, where consequence has arrived.
But that is not what a crow is.
Crows are not harbingers of death; they are responders. They arrive where a system has shifted—where something has ended or must be cleared—so that stagnation does not poison what remains. They consume what would otherwise rot. They interrupt disease cycles. They make space for renewal without ceremony.
They remember faces for years. They recognize alliances and threats. They pass knowledge across generations—routes, dangers, solutions—creating a living archive that outlasts individual lives.
They regulate excess. They warn when boundaries have been crossed. They observe before they act.
The crow noticed the fire from above.
Height had always given him perspective. Distance had always given him safety.
The flame below was steady and precise. It did not beckon.
He circled. Then descended.
He landed at the edge of the clearing, far enough to see clearly, close enough to be changed.
The fire did not warm him. It sharpened him.
Understanding aligned with precision. What had been named about myth, masculinity, and wholeness was not dramatic. It was accurate.
The fire asked him one question:
What do you see that you keep yourself above?
The Crow answered by seeing.
By noticing how height had kept him safe and how it had kept him apart. By recognizing that distance preserved clarity and also prevented receipt.
The Crow answered by no longer mistaking vigilance for wisdom or observation for sovereignty.
What had been kept above was no longer unnamed— grounded warmth, steady care, the kind of safety that does not pursue.
But the question remained with him.
And that was the answer.
The Lesson
The fire did not come to punish the Crow. It came to show him what he had been carrying.
First, it revealed the wound he never named— the sense of being left outside the warmth of life, watching others receive what he learned not to ask for.
Scarcity shaped his instincts long before desire did.
So the Crow learned endurance. He learned to stay upright through fatigue, to keep flying even when his wings burned, to mistake vigilance for strength and survival for sovereignty.
Then the fire reached further back— to a time before armor, before strategy, before the body learned to brace.
Memory surfaced. Not longing, but recognition.
A reminder that tenderness once existed without consequence, that gentleness did not always require payment.
With that remembering came confusion.
Truth unsettles those who have lived by distance. Desire blurred into illusion. Fear dressed itself as choice.
The Crow saw many paths at once and did not yet know which led toward nourishment and which only promised escape.
The fire did not ask him to descend.
Instead, it showed him something else entirely.
Grounded warmth. Care without pursuit. Presence without demand.
He was not meant to claim this steadiness. He was meant to recognize it— to learn the shape of real safety, the weight of love that does not chase, the quiet authority of what is rooted and whole.
The lesson was never about staying.
It was about learning the difference between hunger and home.
The fire had done its work. The fire had served its purpose.
The Turtle
The world carries a story about turtles.
They are said to be slow, withdrawn, avoidant—creatures who hide because they are afraid.
But that is not what a turtle is.
A turtle is endurance made intelligent. A keeper of continuity. A guardian of what is vulnerable.
The shell is not retreat; it is architecture—designed to protect a body exquisitely sensitive to vibration, temperature, and threat. Turtles live long because they know when to move and when to wait.
The turtle noticed the fire from the ground.
He stopped first. Listened. Tested the steadiness of the warmth.
Only then did he approach.
The fire does not rush him. It steadies him.
What warms is not intensity but consistency. What opens is not urgency but trust.
The turtle stops before the flame. He listens. He tests the warmth from a distance meant to protect what is sensitive.
The world calls this hesitation.
It is not.
It is discernment shaped by endurance.
The fire asks him one question:
What are you carrying that no longer needs to be carried by you alone?
The turtle holds the question.
He does not set the burden down all at once. He does not dramatize release.
Instead, he pauses.
He notices where effort has become habit. Where responsibility has outlived necessity. Where strength has been assumed rather than chosen.
He loosens his grip—just enough.
One obligation is shifted. One expectation is no longer met by reflex. One weight is allowed to rest against the ground instead of his spine.
He permits feeling to move through him without immediately managing it.
He allows desire to exist without requiring it to become a plan.
He still stands his ground— but he no longer braces everywhere at once.
What he carries now is intentional.
What he releases is not abandoned— it is returned to where it belongs.
His answer is not withdrawal. It is sustainability.
Not surrender— but recalibration.
The fire does not ask him to be lighter.
Only truer.
And in that truth, the Turtle finds that steadiness is no longer something he must earn.
It is simply how he moves forward.
The Lesson
The fire did not rush the Turtle. It respected his pace.
What it offered first was not heat, but recognition of power already present— a will that could act, decide, and lead without spectacle.
Yet beneath that strength, the fire stirred something gentler.
A small, unguarded feeling. Curiosity without armor. Emotion that rose not to overwhelm, but to remind.
The Turtle was shown that mastery of feeling did not require distance from it.
There was no demand to stay or leave—only space to remain curious.
That emotional depth could coexist with steadiness, that authority need not be cold to remain intact.
Then came the test.
Standing his ground. Holding his position without hardening.
Defending what mattered without turning it into a battle.
Joy appeared— quiet satisfaction, contentment that did not need expansion or proof.
For a moment, the Turtle saw that fulfillment was possible without sacrificing stability.
But the fire also revealed the weight he carried.
Responsibilities layered upon responsibilities. Strength mistaken for endless capacity.
The slow accumulation of obligation until even devotion became heavy.
The lesson was not to drop the load all at once.
It was to learn balance.
To stop juggling life alone. To allow movement without collapse. To recognize that steadiness is not lost when it adapts.
In the end, the fire returned him to himself— rooted, capable, embodied.
Power no longer split between duty and desire. Leadership no longer borrowed from endurance alone.
The Turtle did not need to become something else.
He needed only to become whole.
The fire had done its work. The fire had served its purpose.
The Water Bearer
The world carries a story about water bearers.
They are imagined as healers or saviors, those who arrive with remedy, who pour endlessly, who cool what has burned too long. They are praised for reason, admired for vision, trusted to manage what others cannot. In this telling, water exists to correct fire.
But that is not what a water bearer is.
A water bearer is a steward. A carrier of measure. One trained to preserve by containment, to protect by control.
When he first encountered the fire, he did not recognize its origin. He saw flame standing alone in the open—unhoused, unguarded, exposed. To him, it looked like danger waiting to spread. He did not yet know that the fire had not arisen from accident or impulse, but from something far greater than itself.
The fire had come from a holy source.
Not holy in name, but in nature—drawn down from what illumines without effort, sustained by a current that does not depend on fuel or permission. It did not burn because it was fed. It burned because it was given.
The water bearer could not see this.
So he did what he knew how to do.
He poured water carefully on the fire, believing containment was mercy, believing extinguishing was protection. Not from malice. Not from fear. From certainty born of training.
But the fire did not go out.
Not because it resisted him. Not because it flared in response.
It simply remained.
As he stayed, another truth became clear.
He did not feel drawn to the fire. His heart did not open toward it, and there was no sorrow in that—only clarity.
The fire asked him one question:
What are you trying to save when you reach for control?
He answered by releasing the need to regulate what was already complete.
By recognizing that control had been mistaken for care, and management for meaning. What he had been trying to save was not the water, nor the one who received it, but the reassurance that he still mattered through effort.
Once that was seen, there was nothing left to hold.
The water remained his, but it no longer needed a destination. Presence had already fulfilled its purpose. Staying would only repeat what had been understood.
So he gathered what was his and left it whole.
Not in withdrawal. Not in refusal. In integrity.
The answer was not spoken.
It was the moment he stopped intervening.
And that was enough.
The fire taught him that control is not stewardship. That managing the flow is not the same as honoring its purpose. That staying attached to outcome can masquerade as care long after care has been fulfilled.
The fire revealed that what felt like responsibility was, in truth, fear of loss— fear of becoming unnecessary, fear of letting meaning end.
And once that fear was seen, the compulsion dissolved.
The Lesson
The fire taught the him that presence has a natural endpoint. That departure can be an act of integrity rather than abandonment. That silence can mark understanding, not failure.
Most importantly, the fire taught the water this:
Giving is complete when it no longer requires continuation to justify itself.
The water did not need to be poured again because the lesson had already been received.
The fire did not withdraw because it was rejected. It withdrew because it was no longer needed.
That is the lesson.
Not restraint. Not detachment.
But knowing when the work is done— and trusting that completion does not erase what was real.
He saw that what he had been protecting was not the water, nor the world it was meant for, but his own fear of loss—his belief that if he did not manage the flow, something essential would be wasted or taken. Control had become a way to stay attached to outcome, to remain necessary.
Once seen, the grasp loosened.
What followed was not renunciation, but completion.
He gathered his water and did not pour again because there was nothing left to prove through giving. The question dissolved the compulsion. What remained was sovereignty.
He left without conflict because the need to stay had ended. The fire did not follow because it was no longer required.
What the Water Bearer saved was not himself as identity, but himself as integrity—the part that knows when presence has done its work and when departure is the truest form of care.
That is why the ending is quiet.
Not because nothing mattered.
But because everything had already been understood.
The fire did not fail.
It had already completed its work.
The Teaching (Queen of Wands)
In some traditions, fire is not a force that acts upon the world, but a presence that reveals it.
It does not pursue. It does not decide. It simply stands—awake, contained, complete.
Fire has the capacity to burn, but burning is not its purpose. Once contained, the fire understood its true work.
Its only task was illumination. Its only offering was warmth.
What fell away did so because illusion cannot remain in the presence of clear seeing.
The fire burned nothing deliberately.
It revealed.
And revelation is not an act—it is a condition.
In this way, the fire stood in its dharma— not benevolent, not dangerous, simply present.
Those who came to the fire met it in different ways. Some discovered that strength could soften without disappearing, that vigilance was not the same as wisdom.
Some learned that clarity could be carried away without remaining close, that understanding does not always require proximity.
Some stayed long enough to learn that truth unfolds in its own time, and that patience can be a form of devotion.
Others resisted what they could not yet recognize, and in that resistance revealed that holiness does not require agreement, nor illumination permission.
Through each meeting, the fire did not change its nature. It refined its presence.
It learned that warmth can be offered without pursuit. That clarity can be given without attachment. That remaining steady is sometimes the deepest compassion.
In this way, what approached was shaped by the fire, and the fire was shaped by what approached it—not by force or concession, but by right relationship.
What was ready received warmth. What was ready carried light. What was not ready was allowed to leave.
The fire did not follow. It did not diminish. It learned its measure.
For most of my life, I understood my lineage through the vioce of the feminine. The mothers. The grandmothers.
The endurance required to survive inside marriages and social structures that often provided stability—financially, socially, materially—but not always emotional or spiritual reciprocity.
This is not an indictment of the men.
The men in my life were, without exception, good to me. Kind. Present in the ways they knew how to be. What I came to understand later is that being good to a child and being emotionally or spiritually available within an adult partnership are not the same thing.
Me and my Grandpa (My little shopping basket)
The women who married these men—or were shaped by them as daughters—lived a different reality, one shaped by roles, expectations, and unspoken limits that did not apply to me in the same way.
I find it important to note, before I go any further, that much of what I learned about these men came through the women who survived alongside them. Their stories were rarely neutral. The men were remembered as either idealized or vilified—heroes or tyrants, saviors or failures. At the time, I accepted those accounts as truth.
What I see now is that these stories were filtered through pain. Through grief. Through unmet needs and unspoken wounds. The women were not lying—they were translating experience through the only language they had. What they shared reflected their own trauma, their own losses, their own understanding at the time.
Holding this awareness has changed how I listen. I am no longer trying to decide who was right or wrong. I am learning to see the whole system—how survival shaped memory, how pain simplified people, and how complexity was flattened in the telling.
This, too, is part of the inheritance. Not just what happened, but how it was remembered.
But the re-wilding work I did this summer made something unmistakably clear:
I was not born of woman alone. I was born of woman and man.
Which means the masculine line lives in me too—not symbolically or theoretically, but physically. In my nervous system. In my instincts. In the ways I protect, endure, withdraw, and stay alert.
When I turned toward that line—not outside myself, but within—the story that emerged was heavy and exact.
The masculine lineage I come from is shaped by fear, control, abandonment, and silence.
Those wounds did not express itself in a single way. In my family, it split.
I want to name the limits of this inquiry. I only traced the lineage as far back as my great-grandparents, not because the story ends there, but because that is where I still had narrative—where lives were remembered, shaped, and held in story rather than abstraction. It was far enough back to see the pattern clearly. Anything beyond that would have required speculation rather than listening.
The Men (My Father’s Side)
The Origin: My Great-Grandfather
Forest Dale (Standing, second from the left. Couple sitting were my great-great grandparents)
At the root of this lineage is an incident that clarifies everything that followed. My great-grandfather once nearly beat one of his own children to death. The violence did not stop on its own. It was interrupted only because his oldest son intervened and physically stopped him.
From a psychological perspective, this was not simply an episode of abuse—it was a foundational trauma. For the children who witnessed it, authority became synonymous with danger. Rage became lethal. Attachment and threat occupied the same space. Safety was no longer something provided by a caregiver; it became something that had to be negotiated, managed, or forcibly imposed by others.
This kind of event fractures a family system at the level of the nervous system. It teaches children that power is unpredictable, that emotion escalates without warning, and that survival may depend on either disappearance or control. It also establishes a pattern in which violence is both feared and unconsciously replicated—not because it is desired, but because it becomes the only available language for expressing overwhelm.
What followed in the generations after was not cruelty evolving, but containment strategies multiplying. Some men learned to dominate. Others learned to go silent. Some sought rigid external structures. Others fled. All of these responses trace back to the same moment: a system overwhelmed beyond its capacity to regulate.
This is where the masculine line I carry began to organize itself around fear.
Structure Replaces Tenderness: My Grandfather
My grandfather’s devotion to conformity and military structure was not simply belief—it was adaptation. He grew up in the shadow of a father whose authority was enforced through physical violence, and his nervous system learned early that chaos was dangerous and power was how one survived. In that world, softness invited harm, and unpredictability carried threat.
The military offered him something his childhood never did: rules instead of rage, hierarchy instead of fear, punishment with logic rather than violence without reason. Structure became his refuge.
As a father, he did not know how to meet resistance with curiosity or attunement; rebellion registered as danger. When my own father pushed back—seeking identity and autonomy—my grandfather responded not with fists, but with systems, believing that imposed order could correct what he could not emotionally reach. Institutionalization became a stand-in for repair.
In the 1960s, it was still possible to institutionalize someone simply for being difficult, defiant, or inconvenient. A teenager who challenged authority, refused to comply, and could not be managed within a rigid family structure could be labeled disordered and removed. What was framed as treatment was often containment. (In some cases, and often illegally, teenagers were sent to adult prisons or “institutions for defective delinquents” and held there for decades without a proper sentence or even a conviction).
The daughters, my aunts, who aligned and admired/feared him, felt safer to him; compliance soothed the fear beneath the authority. This is how patterns repeat: what begins as survival hardens into rule, what once protected becomes controlling, and what is not understood is passed forward as principle rather than healed as memory.
Silence itself became part of the record.
Dysregulation in Action
By the time my parents were separating, the family system was already operating without emotional regulation or containment. Conflict did not move through reflection, mediation, or boundary-setting. It moved directly into action.
During that period, my grandfather responded to my mother’s decision to leave her marriage as a violation of authority rather than an autonomous choice. His reactions were immediate and physical rather than verbal or reflective. Attempts to assert control included public confrontation, pursuit, and threat. Resolution occurred only through the intervention of another adult willing to meet force with force.
This was not experienced as an isolated crisis, but as part of a broader pattern.
My Grandpa Glenn B. Dale Sr. (Air Force)
In a separate incident, during a momentary lapse in supervision, the same grandfather removed my two-year-old brother from a swimming pool area and drove away with him. The act was impulsive, unilateral, and executed without regard for consent, safety, or consequence. It was not framed as kidnapping within the family system, but it functioned as such—an assertion of control through removal.
What these incidents had in common was not intent so much as incapacity. There was no evidence of emotional regulation, perspective-taking, or delayed response. Feelings translated directly into behavior. Authority was enacted through volume, movement, and physical dominance rather than dialogue or repair.
Within this environment, children were not guided through explanation or reassurance. Instead, they adapted. Safety depended on vigilance rather than trust. Emotional intelligence developed not through modeling, but through necessity—learning to read shifts in tone, posture, and energy in order to anticipate escalation.
This was the psychological landscape I grew up within.
Not a single traumatic event, but a sustained atmosphere of dysregulation. An environment in which boundaries were unstable, power was unpredictable, and calm was provisional. Over time, this becomes normalized—not because it is healthy, but because it is consistent.
From a developmental perspective, this is how hyper-attunement forms. Not as a personality trait, but as a survival adaptation. When regulation is absent in the system, the child’s nervous system compensates.
My Father
My dad and my brother Sean
Seen in this context, my father’s early rebellion reads less like defiance and more like resistance. When he was institutionalized as a teenager, it was not because something was inherently wrong with him, but because the system had no tolerance for dissent or emotional truth. Whatever he endured there, he never spoke about—not even to my mother. That silence, too, became part of the inheritance.
Within this same context, his decision to run away and join the Army reads less as patriotism or ambition and more as flight toward structure. When regulation is absent in the family system, highly ordered environments can feel stabilizing—even lifesaving. The military offered clear rules, predictable hierarchy, external containment, and a sanctioned identity. For a young man raised amid volatility, it provided something his home never did: coherence.
Guess which one is my dad? :-)-
From a psychological perspective, this is a common adaptive response. When internal regulation is underdeveloped due to chronic exposure to chaos, individuals often seek external systems capable of holding what they cannot yet hold themselves. The Army did not resolve my father’s trauma, but it organized it. It gave shape to fear, direction to vigilance, and legitimacy to emotional restraint.
What followed—Vietnam and its aftermath—added another layer of unintegrated experience to an already burdened nervous system. Silence deepened. Withdrawal became adaptive again. The pattern did not originate there, but it was reinforced.
My father never spoke about Vietnam. He carried whatever he brought home without language, without witnesses. He threw away his medals. My mother retrieved them. Even honor was something he could not bear to hold. His wounds lived quietly, expressed not in story but in vigilance, withdrawal, and endurance.
My father is the 3rd most decorated Army Vietnam Vet in the state of MIssouri.
My Daddy
That, too, is lineage. Not only what is said, but what is refused words. Not only what is remembered, but what is survived without narration.
Another layer of trauma added to an already burdened line. Another man taught that vigilance was safer than vulnerability.
It matters to say this: my father did not pass the violence forward.
With me and my two brothers, he was gentle. He never laid a hand on us. He made deliberate efforts to talk to us about our feelings—to ask questions, to explain himself, to slow moments down rather than escalate them. In a lineage where power had long been expressed through force or withdrawal, this was not accidental. It was a conscious deviation.
From a psychological perspective, this is how change actually happens in family systems—not through perfection, but through interruption. He did not heal everything he carried, but he altered the direction of what came next. He chose restraint where others had chosen domination. He chose conversation where silence or control had once ruled.
That does not mean his marriage was free from difficulty. His relationship with my mother reflected many of the unresolved patterns he had inherited—silence, distance, emotional limitation. Being able to parent gently does not automatically translate into the capacity for reciprocal intimacy within an adult partnership. These are different skills, shaped by different wounds.
Still, the distinction matters.
Because even partial change is change. Even limited safety is safety. And the nervous system remembers the difference between what was repeated and what was stopped.
In that sense, my father did begin to change the narrative on his side of the line—not by rewriting the past, but by refusing to reenact its most damaging expressions.
The Men Who Had No One (My Mother’s Side)
The masculine line does not move in a straight path. It bends. It breaks. It changes form.
On my father’s side, the wound hardened. Fear turned inward, then outward. Authority became dangerous. Silence became a form of protection, and control became a stand-in for safety. The men learned to survive by tightening—by containing, dominating, or disappearing inside themselves.
But when the line crossed to my mother’s side, the shape of survival shifted.
The Origin: My Great-Grandfather
My PawPaw Jay Baggett (far right)
Pawpaw—my great-grandfather—was not formed by power or control, but by absence. He was not abandoned by cruelty, but by death itself. His mother died when he was born. His father collapsed in the fields and died when Pawpaw was still a child. By the time he was young, there was no one left to keep him.
So he learned a different way to survive.
Where one great-grandfather ruled through fear, Pawpaw endured through movement. Where one man became dangerous in his need to control, the other became transient in his need to live. He rode the rails not to escape responsibility, but because there was nowhere else to belong. Motion became his shelter. Arrival was always temporary—but it was still arrival.
Music became his language. He played the banjo and what he called a “juice harp.” In a life without permanence, sound became continuity. It was how he stayed human.
These men were shaped by opposite forces, yet the wound beneath them was the same: being left without safety.
One responded by trying to command the world. The other by learning how to live without it.
Both paths taught their sons different lessons. Both carried forward a form of vigilance. Both passed down strategies that kept them alive—but limited how deeply they could rest, attach, or remain.
This is where the masculine story complicates itself. Not one lineage. Not one pattern. But variations on the same unanswered question:
What does a man do when there is no one to hold him?
When there is no one to hold him, a man learns to hold himself.
Not gently. Not kindly. But tightly—like someone bracing against a fall that never quite comes.
He learns early that there is nowhere to set the weight down. That need has no place to land. That fear must be swallowed whole and carried alone. So he builds a spine out of silence. He teaches his hands to stay busy, his jaw to stay set, his heart to stay guarded. He becomes useful. He becomes composed. He becomes gone.
If no one can hold him, he will try to hold the world.
He will grip authority because it feels like ground. He will cling to structure because it resembles safety. He will keep moving because stillness would ask too much. He will disappear inside work, duty, service, addiction, noise, or quiet—whatever keeps the ache from rising into language.
And if he cannot hold the world, he will harden against it.
Not because he lacks feeling, but because he feels too much with nowhere for it to go. Vulnerability becomes dangerous when it is unanswered. Tenderness becomes a liability when it is not received. So he learns to endure instead of lean, to perform instead of rest, to provide instead of arrive.
This is not cruelty. It is adaptation.
But what no one tells him is that the strategies that keep him alive will also keep him lonely. That strength without witness turns into isolation. That self-sufficiency, when learned too young, becomes a quiet kind of exile.
Because being held is not weakness.
Being held is how the nervous system learns it does not have to stay on guard. It is how fear softens into trust. It is how effort gives way to presence. It is how a man learns he does not have to earn rest, or prove worth, or disappear to be safe.
When a man has never been held, he does not know how to ask for it. He does not know how to stay when it is offered. He may even push it away—not because he doesn’t want it, but because it contradicts everything he was taught about survival.
And still, somewhere beneath the armor, the body remembers.
It remembers what it never received. It remembers the exhale that never came. It remembers the moment when someone might have said, You don’t have to carry this alone.
When there is no one to hold him, a man survives.
But when he is finally held—without control, without demand, without shame—something ancient loosens.
He does not break. He does not disappear. He does not lose himself.
He exhales.
And in that exhale, survival becomes something else.
Presence.
Pawpaw became a young hobo because there was nowhere else to go. Movement was survival. Music was how he stayed connected—to himself, to others, to something resembling home. He learned how to arrive, adapt, and belong briefly wherever he landed.
He died young, at fifty-nine. He was my grandmother’s world, and something in her fractured the day he died. The grief did not settle. It sharpened. It spilled outward, taken out on anyone who crossed her path—and most often on my grandfather.
Where Pawpaw survived through movement and music, my grandmother survived through volatility.
My Grandfather
My Grandpa Jack (far right)
My Grandpa (far left) with his brothers.
When a father disappears early, the child is left to organize meaning without guidance. The nervous system fills in the blanks on its own.
As a result of that abandonment, my grandfather was sent away as a child—sold to nearby neighbors to work. Childhood became functional. Belonging became conditional. Worth became tied to usefulness.
Later, he was brought back by a stepfather. But return did not mean repair. He and his brothers lived in the barn rather than the house. Present, but not held. Included, but not protected.
Because my grandfather left school in the second grade he never learned to read.
That fact alone explains more than pages of analysis ever could. Literacy is not just education—it is access. To language. To story. To self-expression. Without it, much of life remains unarticulated, felt but unnamed.
And yet, he loved words.
He loved it when I would sit beside him and read the newspaper out loud. He listened with an attentiveness that felt almost reverent, like someone being welcomed into a room he had always respected from the doorway. Those moments were quiet, ordinary, and deeply intimate. Reading became a form of connection—shared attention, shared presence, shared time.
He was proud of me for being the first person in our family to graduate from college. He didn’t announce it or perform it. I felt it in his warmth, in his delight, in the way he let my achievement belong to him without envy or distance. My education was not a separation between us—it was a bridge. Something he could stand beside with joy, even if he had never been given the chance to walk that path himself.
He was my buddy.
He was charming, handsome, and carried an almost childlike innocence—open, gentle, and unguarded in a way that felt rare. There was no cruelty in him. No sharpness. What he lacked in formal education, he made up for in warmth and presence. He did not know how to intellectualize tenderness, but he embodied it naturally.
His death was incredibly difficult for me. I felt it as a personal loss, not just a familial one. There was a purity to his kindness that I recognized and held close, perhaps because it revealed what the masculine could look like when fear did not fully eclipse softness.
My father was tender too.
His tenderness expressed itself through restraint and care. He never laid a hand on us. He talked to us about our feelings. He made deliberate choices not to repeat what had been done to him.
I loved them. Both of them.
That matters to say.
Different stories moved through this line—some marked by violence, others by disappearance—but they all converged on the same unanswered question:
What does a man do when there is no one to hold him?
He learns to hold himself.
The Men, Seen Through the Cards
Before writing any of this, I asked the question that had been sitting beneath everything else:
What am I actually living through on behalf of my masculine line? Not in theory. Not in blame. But in energy—what was still moving through me because it had never been resolved.
I pulled the cards slowly, without expectation. What emerged was not a story of good men or bad men. It was a lineage map—so precise it felt less like divination and more like recognition. As I sat with each card, I could see how clearly they corresponded to the men I had just written about, as if the deck itself were tracing the same family tree.
The spread opened with the Nine of Swords beside the King of Pentacles.
This pairing immediately brought my father into focus—and the men before him. Anxiety bound inside responsibility. Fear carried silently in bodies expected to be steady, capable, dependable. These were men who learned that survival depended on composure. Worry, guilt, and self-doubt were held privately, while the outer world saw only provision and endurance.
This was my father carrying Vietnam without language. This was my grandfather before him relying on structure rather than softness. This was masculinity shaped around holding it together at all costs.
Then came the Four of Cups, the Ten of Cups, and the Queen of Pentacles.
This triad felt unmistakably relational. Longing not as indifference, but as resignation. The vision of emotional fulfillment existed—the Ten of Cups—but it was often just out of reach. The Four of Cups spoke to disengagement born of overwhelm rather than lack of love. The Queen of Pentacles reflected how harmony was frequently sustained through the women, who became the emotional and practical center of the home.
Here, I saw my grandmother and the women who organized family life around stability and care, while the men stood adjacent—present, loving, but often unable to step fully into the emotional field. Not because they didn’t want connection, but because they had never been taught how to inhabit it safely.
Then the spread broke open with the Ten of Swords.
This was not subtle. It was the card of collapse—the end of a way of being that could no longer sustain itself. This was the lineage rupture. The accumulated weight of violence, abandonment, silence, and unprocessed grief finally reaching its limit.
I saw my great-grandfather’s violence. I saw abandonment repeated. I saw generations of endurance breaking under their own weight.
Judgement — The Moment the Line Is Heard (The only major arcana)
As I sat with the spread as a whole, the one and only Major Arcana presence made itself unmistakably clear. I was stunned by the clarity of the Judgement card. It landed with an eerie exactness—like something long buried had finally been called by its true name. Not loudly. Not violently. Just clearly. As if the lineage itself had been waiting for someone to listen closely enough, I was stunned by the clarity of the Judgement card. It felt almost eerie—like the Universe pausing everything else and saying, this. one. card.
Judgement.
Not as verdict. Not as condemnation. But as awakening.
Judgement is the moment when what has been carried in silence finally rises into consciousness—not to be punished, but to be witnessed. It is the card of ancestral reckoning without blame, of stories long buried being heard clearly enough to be released. It marks the threshold where survival gives way to choice.
This is what this work has been.
I am not rewriting the past. I am not absolving harm, nor am I collapsing into accusation. I am standing in the exact place Judgement asks us to stand: seeing the lineage clearly, naming what moved through it, and allowing the nervous system to register the difference between what was repeated and what was stopped.
Judgement is the point at which inheritance becomes awareness.
It is the moment the system exhales and realizes: That was then. This is now.
And in that recognition, something ancient loosens its grip—not because it was wrong, but because it has finally been seen.
And then—almost unbelievably—the cards did not stop there.
Immediately following came the Ace of Pentacles and the Four of Wands.
A seed. A foundation. Something new trying to take root precisely where the old story ended. This felt like my father choosing gentleness with his children. Like my grandfather’s tenderness and pride in me. Like the possibility of safety emerging not from perfection, but from interruption.
This was the moment where inheritance gives way to choice.
Then came the most startling sequence of all: three twos in a row—the Two of Pentacles, Two of Wands, and Two of Cups.
Balance. Direction. Relationship.
These are not passive cards. They don’t describe survival—they describe participation. They ask for conscious engagement rather than endurance. For decision instead of default. For relationship instead of role.
This felt like the work landing squarely in my hands.
Not to fix the past. Not to assign fault. But to hold competing truths at once. To balance containment and expression. To choose direction rather than repetition. To allow relationship to replace myth.
The spread closed with the Queen of Swords.
Clear-eyed. Articulate. Compassionate without denial. This felt like the voice that had been missing in the line—the capacity to name the pattern without demonizing the people inside it. To speak truth without needing to punish. To see clearly and still love.
When I laid this spread beside the cards I had pulled for the women who came before me, the contrast was unmistakable.
Where the masculine lineage survived through containment and silence, the feminine survived through expression and endurance. Men internalized fear; women externalized care. Each adapted in opposite directions to the same unmet needs.
Neither line was whole on its own.
This is where blame took root. It became easier to name absence than to name constraint. Easier to say this is how men are than to ask what taught them to be this way. And because the men themselves rarely contradicted the narrative—out of fear, guilt, or lack of language—silence was mistaken for truth.
What I see now is not opposition, but polarity without integration.
Wholeness is not choosing the feminine over the masculine, or vice versa. It is allowing containment and expression to meet. It is replacing myth with relationship, assumption with clarity, inheritance with choice.
This is the work I am living.
Where the Myth Breaks the Man
There comes a moment when the myth no longer holds.
Not because the men change, but because the story we placed upon them loosens its grip. The need for them to be braver, clearer, more available, more healed — that quiet demand begins to soften. What remains is something truer and more humane: an understanding of what was carried, what was withheld, and what was never ours to receive in the first place.
My wholeness did not arrive through a man. It arrived through the recognition that I had been asking others to carry parts of myself I had not yet claimed.
Where I once looked for fire, I learned to tend it. Where I once sought safety, I learned to build it. Where I once waited for words, I learned to listen inward.
This is not the absence of love. It is the maturation of it.
The men in my life did not fail me — they reflected the edges of my becoming. Each one revealed a place where I was still outsourcing authority, longing, or belonging. And when those mirrors were no longer needed, they did not shatter. They simply stepped back into themselves.
Wholeness is not self-sufficiency masquerading as strength. It is integration.
The Making of Wholeness
Wholeness did not begin with new understanding. It began with revision.
With the ability to look back at the men in my life — not as symbols, not as archetypes, not as failures or fulfillments — but as human beings shaped by real experiences, real losses, and real constraints. When the noise falls away, what remains is not judgment but context.
Seen this way, the myth dissolves quietly.
Men are no longer characters in a story I inherited or constructed. They are people who were formed in particular moments, by particular pressures, interacting with other people — women — who were formed under their own conditions. Each encounter created a shared reality, and each person walked away with a different perception of what had occurred.
None of those perceptions were neutral. None of them were whole.
Wholeness came when I could hold more than one truth at once.
That a man could be limited without being malicious. That a woman could be longing without being lacking. That misunderstanding could be structural rather than personal.
Looking backward with this lens did not rewrite the past — but it softened its edges. It allowed the story to breathe. And in that breathing, something integrated.
It is fire that no longer burns for recognition. Water that flows without flooding. Clarity that tells the truth without cutting. Ground that does not shift beneath intimacy.
In reclaiming these elements, I did not lose the masculine — I released the myth of it. What remains is something quieter, more honest, and infinitely more alive: men as they are, and a self that no longer needs to be completed by them.
The Integration
When I lay the women’s story beside the men’s, I don’t see two separate lines. I see one system trying to survive.
The women learned to endure through expression and labor—through carrying, compensating, holding the emotional center when no one else would. The men learned to endure through containment—through silence, composure, withdrawal, and the kind of steadiness that was often just fear held very still. Different strategies. The same wound beneath them.
For a long time, I lived inside the myth that grew from those strategies.
The myth said men are supposed to be brave, stoic, certain, emotionally intact. The myth said women are supposed to be strong, giving, endlessly capable, able to love without needing. And when reality didn’t match the myth, the story hardened into something simpler: blame, disappointment, longing, resentment—whatever could keep the ache from turning into grief.
But grief is what was always waiting underneath.
Grief for the women who learned to swallow their wants until they forgot they had them. Grief for the men who never had a safe place to soften—boys who became providers, soldiers, laborers, quiet rooms, clenched jaws. Grief for the way love became a set of substitutes: provision instead of presence, caretaking instead of mutuality, intensity instead of consistency, endurance instead of intimacy.
And grief for myself—for how faithfully I repeated what I was taught.
I chose partners the way my lineage chose survival: by instinct. By familiarity. By the nervous system’s private logic.
I could fall for fire because it felt like aliveness. I could accept silence because it felt like safety. I could mistake responsibility for devotion and exhaustion for love. I could keep waiting—because women in my line waited—and keep translating—because no one had taught the men in my line how to speak.
None of this makes anyone a villain.
It makes us human.
It means our relationships weren’t just chemistry. They were choreography. Old patterns moving through new bodies, searching for resolution.
Wholeness begins when the spell breaks—not with blame, but with sight.
When I can look back at the men in my life and see them as men, not myths. Not saviors. Not failures. Human beings shaped by real fear, real loss, real constraint. And when I can look at the women and see not just strength, but the cost of it. Not just endurance, but what was sacrificed to keep everything from falling apart.
Seeing it this way doesn’t excuse harm. It doesn’t erase what happened. It doesn’t ask me to tolerate what I will no longer carry.
But it does return my power to me.
Because the moment I stop needing a man to complete the story, I stop handing him the pen.
The moment I stop mistaking caretaking for connection, I stop calling depletion love.
The moment I stop waiting for emotional arrival, I begin building a life that can hold me—steady, honest, regulated, warm.
This is the making of wholeness:
Containment that doesn’t shut down.
Expression that doesn’t flood.
Softness that doesn’t self-abandon.
Clarity that doesn’t cut.
Where the Myth Ends
The myth says men are emotionally absent. The myth says women must compensate. The myth says this is just how relationships are.
But what I see now is more tender than that.
I see people adapting to survive. I see fear mistaken for character. I see silence mistaken for lack of love.
Wholeness does not come from choosing one side over the other. It comes from integration.
Containment that doesn’t shut down. Expression that doesn’t flood. Clarity that doesn’t cut.
This is the work I am living.
And maybe this is the true inheritance—not perfect men, not tireless women, but the right to be fully human, and to love from that place.
The masculine in me no longer has to protect through silence. The feminine in me no longer has to earn love through labor. They can meet—inside my own body, inside my own choices—and become something neither lineage fully got to live:
presence.
And maybe that is the true inheritance I am here to claim.
Not perfect men. Not tireless women. Not myths I can finally get right.
But the right to be utterly, aching, forgivingly human—
There is an old Welsh legend about the witch Ceridwen and her servant, Gwion.
Gwion is given a simple but exacting task:
to tend Ceridwen’s cauldron for a year and a day.
He must keep the fire steady.
He must stir without distraction.
He must wait.
The potion brewing inside the cauldron is one of wisdom and transformation,
but it is not meant for him.
His role is not to receive the magic,
only to tend the conditions that allow it to come into being.
He must stir for a year and a day because wisdom cannot be rushed.
Because what is being made must pass through every season.
Because transformation requires endurance — attention sustained long after novelty fades.
And then — as these stories always go — something breaks open.
Three drops leap from the cauldron and scald Gwion’s thumb.
Instinctively, he brings it to his mouth,
and in that instant, knowledge floods him.
Awareness ignites.
The world rearranges itself.
After the drops touch him and the knowledge enters, Gwion does not remain still.
Ceridwen realizes what has happened,
and she gives chase.
To survive, Gwion begins to shape-shift.
He becomes a hare to flee across the land.
A fish to disappear into the water.
A bird to rise into the air.
Each time, Ceridwen meets him in the same form —
hound, otter, hawk —
matching him at every level.
Gwion does not shape-shift to become something greater.
He shape-shifts to endure.
To adapt.
To survive what has been set in motion.
Gwion cannot outrun her forever.
Exhausted from the chase, he finally becomes a singlegrain of wheatand falls to the ground, hoping to disappear into the ordinary.
Ceridwen becomesand swallows him whole.
This is the moment that looks like destruction —
but it isn’t.
Gwion is not killed.
He isincubated.
Carried in Ceridwen’s womb, he is transformed again —
not through effort or escape,
but through surrender to the process that has claimed him.
Nine months later, he is reborn asTaliesin—
no longer a servant,
no longer fleeing,
but a poet and seer whose words carry wisdom into the world.
Ceridwen intends to destroy him when he is born,
but when she sees what he has become,
she cannot.
Instead, she releases him.
The work is complete.
The one who tended the fire
is no longer meant to stay beside it.
Transformation, once begun, demands flexibility.
There is no single form that can carry wisdom all the way through.
The cauldron had been brewing all along.
The drops did not create the wisdom —
they revealed it.
The year completes the work.
The day allows the one who tended it to become integrated–born anew.
In myth and magic, the extra day is the threshold —
the pause where meaning settles into the body,
where repetition becomes understanding,
where service becomes initiation.
The magic was never only in the cauldron.
It was in the patience.
The vigilance.
The staying.
The First Drop
A year and a day ago today, I went into my basement to get a box of wrapping paper.
As I stood there, deciding which box to pull,
cold drops of water hit my back.
At first, I didn’t understand what was happening.
I stood still.
Listened.
Looked around.
Then I noticed the water on the floor.
Then the drips overhead.
What I thought was one small, explainable thing
revealed itself as something else entirely —
something that had been building quietly, invisibly, over time.
Something that hadn’t announced itself
until that exact moment.
The drops didn’t cause the rupture.
They announced that something long in motion
had reached its threshold.
After the drops touched her and the knowledge entered, she did not remain still.
Like Gwion’s burned thumb,
the knowing entered through the body first.
And once knowledge is felt in the body,
transformation becomes unavoidable.
What Was Hidden
The waterline in my laundry room had finally given way,
and everything in my house — and everything in me — began to unravel.
Room by room, the house was stripped down.
Walls opened.
Systems exposed.
Foundations questioned.
It was messy.
Chaotic.
Disorienting.
And like Gwion fleeing through shape after shape,
I moved through versions of myself I hadn’t planned on meeting —
the overwhelmed one,
the uncertain one,
the exhausted one,
the steady one who learned to stand anyway.
Each phase asked something different of me.
Each demanded its own letting go.
Each stripped away an old skin.
This, too, was part of the tending.
Eventually, the dust settled.
The house was rebuilt.
The noise stopped.
Life looked stable again on the surface.
And that was when the deeper work began.
Goddess Energy
After the dust settled and the house grew quiet again,
the deeper work began.
In that stillness, I turned to meditation —
not to soothe, not to bypass,
but to listen.
I found myself calling in Dark Goddess energy,
and learning what that actually means.
Not darkness as harm,
but darkness as womb.
As depth.
As the fertile space where truth gestates before it is ready to be known.
I didn’t call this energy in through thought alone.
I called it in through chanting.
Through repetition.
Through vibration.
Through sound moving the body before the mind could interfere.
Chanting bypasses analysis.
It works directly with the nervous system, the breath, the bones.
It opens the threshold where intellect gives way to resonance.
As the chants deepened, something shifted.
Not suddenly —
but unmistakably.
The body responded first.
Emotion followed.
Understanding came later.
This is how the Dark Goddess answered —
not in images or ideas,
but in vibration.
The sound stirred what had been dormant.
It loosened what had been held.
It invited the fire to move.
This was not performance.
It was invocation.
This is the realm of Kali —
the force that burns down what is false without apology.
She does not comfort first.
She destroys illusion so what is real can survive.
Kali was the stirring.
The Scorpio work.
The willingness to sit with what was hidden
and die to it rather than run from it.
But Kali is never the whole story.
As the fire cleared what could not remain, Shakti began to rise.
Shakti is the life force itself —
the current that moves once space has been made.
She is the serpent energy,
the creative power that ascends the spine,
that animates what remains after the burning.
And then came Parvati.
Parvati is integration.
Devotion.
The steady, loving presence that teaches the body
it is safe to live again.
She does not undo Kali’s destruction.
She teaches us how to inhabit the truth that remains.
How to stay.
How to tend.
How to love what we have become.
Together, they form a complete movement:
destruction, awakening, and love.
What was burned away did not leave me empty.
What rose did not leave me ungrounded.
What was awakened was met with care.
And there is a symbolism here that still makes me pause.
In the midst of this work —
the stirring, the burning, the rising, the integration —
I found myself quite literally working for the Goddess.
Goddess Rocks.
What once sounded like a name
now feels like recognition.
Not appointment.
But ordination.
Not authority granted from outside,
but alignment realized from within.
A quiet knowing that service has met readiness —
that the one who tended the fire
now stands in relationship with it.
What Actually Transformed
What I didn’t understand at first was that I wasn’t being punished.
I was being tested.
Not in dramatic ways —
but in the quiet, daily places where character is formed.
I was tested in patience.
In how long I could wait without demanding answers.
In learning not to assume the truth
before the truth had fully revealed itself.
I was tested in emotional regulation —
in learning that not every feeling requires a reaction,
that intensity does not equal truth,
that restraint can be a form of power.
I was tested in control —
or rather, in the slow dismantling of the illusion
that I ever had it.
Again and again, I was brought to the same threshold:
you cannot force outcomes.
You cannot manage timing.
You cannot control how things unfold —
only how you meet them.
Sometimes the most intelligent response
is surrender.
Not collapse.
Not resignation.
But the kind of surrender that says: I will stay present without tightening my grip.
When I chose groundedness instead of anger,
understanding instead of hostility,
curiosity instead of frustration —
the universe responded quietly.
People went the extra mile.
Conversations softened.
Doors opened without force.
I found myself in honest exchanges about growth and endurance,
stories shared without pretense,
truth spoken without performance.
And I realized I was never alone in this.
This is what actually transformed.
Not the circumstances —
but the way I move through uncertainty.
Calling in the Fire
After the stirring came the ignition.
Following two months of meditation — of consciously calling in Dark Goddess energy and allowing what was hidden to surface — I stepped into a three-day workshop with Sabrina Lynn, the founder of Rewilding for Women.
It felt intentional.
Timed.
Like the next necessary movement.
Rewilding was not an escape from the work that came before it —
it was its embodiment.
Three days devoted, in order, to what had been wounded and what was ready to heal.
The first day turned toward the feminine —
the body, the intuition, the emotional field that had learned to carry without being held.
The second day turned toward the masculine —
structure, direction, containment, the spine learning how to support without controlling,
to act without force.
The third day was integration —
the weaving of both currents so neither had to dominate nor disappear.
What had been stirred in meditation
was ignited in the body.
Breath, movement, voice —
energy rising up the spine on ancient currents that felt like remembering something
I didn’t know I had forgotten.
The entire workshop worked with Kundalini energy —
not as concept, but as lived force.
Kundalini is often described as serpent energy,
not because it is dangerous,
but because of the way it moves.
It begins coiled at the base of the spine —
latent, intelligent, waiting.
It rises only when the body, the nervous system,
and the psyche are ready to hold it.
Kundalini is not something you summon with will.
It awakens when the conditions are right.
Through breathwork, rhythmic movement, sound, and repetition,
that energy begins to move upward through the spine —
opening what has been held,
loosening what has been compressed,
bringing awareness to places long kept quiet.
It is not about transcendence or escape.
It is about embodiment.
Kundalini brings unconscious material into conscious awareness —
through sensation, emotion, memory, and insight —
so it can be integrated rather than suppressed.
This is why it feels intense.
Not because it overwhelms,
but because it tells the truth.
What rises is not foreign.
It is what has been waiting.
When Kundalini meets stillness —
when Shakti rises to meet Shiva —
the result is not chaos.
It is coherence.
Destruction.
Awakening.
Love.
Winter, After the Fire
After the fire, the work softened.
The 28-day yoga practice that followed
did not awaken anything new.
It taught me how to live with what had already been awakened.
How to regulate instead of react.
How to flow instead of force.
How to listen for where the current was already moving
and move with it.
The yoga practice itself was about alignment.
It began with the New Moon in Pisces —
in darkness, in the unseen, in the womb,
in the place where intuition, dissolution, and trust live.
Pisces does not ask for clarity first.
It asks for surrender.
For faith in what cannot yet be named.
For movement guided by feeling rather than form.
The practice unfolded there —
learning to flow with energies I could not see,
to listen beneath logic,
to let the body lead where the mind could not yet follow.
And it carried me, slowly and deliberately,
toward the Full Moon in Virgo.
From darkness into light.
From the unseen into what can be witnessed, tended, and integrated.
Virgo does not discard what is felt —
she grounds it.
She organizes it.
She makes it useful in the everyday.
That arc — Pisces to Virgo —
was the movement from mystery into meaning.
From surrender into discernment.
From awakening into embodiment.
The flow was not accidental.
It was alignment.
Learning how to let what rose in the dark
become something I could live with in the light.
Alignment does not shout.
It whispers.
When you stop fighting the current,
the universe responds with ease.
This is cooperation.
Not transcendence.
The Shape that Stays
Gwion’s story mirrors my own not in symbol, but in structure.
Neither of us sought transformation.
We were already tending — living inside devotion before we had language for it.
Knowledge arrived through the body first —
through sensation, through disruption —
and once it did, there was no returning to who we had been.
What followed was not chaos, but adaptation.
Shape after shape, learning how to survive what had been set in motion.
The real transformation did not come from escape,
but from surrender —
from allowing the process to hold us long enough to be changed by it.
Gwion is not returned to service.
He is released into voice.
And that is where I find myself now —
no longer stirring the fire,
no longer being chased,
but carrying forward what was earned through staying with the transformation.
The work did not make me something else.
It made memyself, fully integrated.
This is how the myth lives on —
not as story,
but as lived truth.
The Benediction
Only now can I fully understand the meaning of a year and a day.
The year is the cycle —
the repetition, the survival, the enduring.
But the day is the threshold.
The day is what cannot be rushed.
What cannot be forced.
What only reveals itself after endurance.
In myth, in law, in magic,
the day is the pause where meaning crystallizes —
where knowledge leaves the mind
and becomes embodied.
Without the day, the cycle closes.
With the day, the person changes.
Like Gwion, I did not seek revelation.
I stayed.
I stayed with the breaking.
I stayed with the waiting.
I stayed with the fire.
And now —
a year and a day later —
I sit in my chair on this firelit morning,
holding what rose through me
with reverence.
Where do I go from here
After exploring the women who came before me —
after witnessing their resilience, their silences, their strength, and their grief —
I realized something else was waiting to be seen.
The men.
Not as an afterthought.
Not as a counterpoint.
But as the other half of the story that shaped the ground I stand on.
The Rewilding workshop made this impossible to ignore.
Through that work, something simple and profound settled into my body:
I am born of woman and man.
I carry both.
Feminine and masculine are not concepts I study —
they are inheritances I live inside.
Healing the feminine opened something vital in me.
It softened places that had learned to brace.
It gave language to feeling and intuition.
But it was the integration —
the recognition that I am shaped by both lines —
that made me want to understand the full depth and length of what I come from.
Lineage does not move through one channel alone.
It weaves.
It braids.
It passes through bodies, through behaviors, through what is spoken
and what is never named.
Turning toward the women taught me how to listen.
How to feel without judgment.
How to honor endurance.
Turning toward the men requires a different kind of listening.
Not because their stories are harsher —
but because they are often quieter,
buried beneath expectation, duty, and inherited ideas about strength.
The men who came before me were shaped by their own worlds,
their own wars — literal or internal —
their own versions of survival.
And what they learned about power, protection, love, and silence
did not stop with them.
It traveled forward.
Healing the feminine taught me how to feel.
Integration taught me how to stay.
Even within the Rewilding, the difference between the feminine and masculine energies was unmistakable.
Thefemininearrived loud and wild —
moving through the body in waves,
expressive, emotional, untamed,
asking to be felt fully and without restraint.
Themasculine, by contrast, was quiet.
Reserved.
Almost imperceptible at first.
It entered through thecrown—
through stillness rather than force —
touching each chakra gently as it moved downward,
not rushing, not demanding attention.
As it descended, the energy began to spiral —
looping through each center,
circling back, weaving above and below,
until movement and structure found each other.
This was not dominance meeting surrender.
It wascontainment meeting flow.
The masculine did not overpower the feminine.
It held it.
And in that holding, something integrated.
The wildness did not disappear.
The quiet did not harden.
They learned how to move together —
not in opposition,
but in rhythm.
Now the work asks me to look backward again —
not to dwell there,
but to understand what has been carried forward
and why.
This is not about blame.
It is about clarity.
Because what is not witnessed
does not dissolve.
It repeats.
This is where I begin tending the masculine line —
with steadiness,
with compassion,
and with the intention to restore
what was never meant to be lost.
When I was four years old, I took a bread knife from my mother’s kitchen and dismantled my Easy-Bake Oven piece by piece. I wasn’t trying to break it — I simply needed to know how a lightbulb baked a cake.
So I sat on the floor, carefully keeping the screws together, utterly absorbed in the mystery of heat and light. Even then, some part of me knew this probably wasn’t a great idea, but the pull toward the truth inside was stronger than any fear of getting in trouble.
That same year, I lifted the grate off the giant air-conditioning vent in our kitchen and hurriedly called my little brother to come look. He ran in and sure enough, he fell straight into the duct. When my horrified mother demanded to know why I’d done it, I gave her the only explanation I had: “I wanted to see if that’s what would happen.” Poor Sean.
It wasn’t mischief. It was mechanism. It was cause and effect. It was my earliest instinct: understand the world by testing it.
Looking back, these weren’t acts of defiance — they were my first initiations as a would-be oracle. Even before I had language for intuition or healing or soul contracts, I was already taking the world apart to see what truth lived inside it. As I said, my first words weren’t “mama” or “dada.” They were “What’s that?”
A question that became the architecture of my life.
It’s why I got my bachelor’s degree psychology — not to fix people, but to understand the invisible machinery beneath behavior. To figure out why people love the way they do, why they fear the way they do, why patterns repeat across generations. I wasn’t satisfied with surface explanations. I wanted to understand the wiring, the circuitry, the ancestral programming.
THE HIDDEN WIRING WE INHERIT
All my life I’ve been trying to understand how things work — not just machines, but people, patterns, choices, and the mysterious inner codes that drive us. When I dismantled my Easy-Bake Oven with a bread knife at four years old, I wasn’t being defiant. I simply needed to know how a lightbulb baked a cake. I needed to see the mechanism behind the magic. And consciously or not, that moment foreshadowed the entire arc of my life.
Because the older I became, the more I realized that we are built the same way.
We walk around as finished cakes — our personalities, our habits, our fears — believing this is “just who we are.” But beneath every outward behavior is a hidden heat source shaping everything we do: the unconscious mind, the ancestral memories, the stories passed down through generations.
Famed Psychiatrist, Sigmund Freud, believed our unconscious desires and fears drive more of our actions than we admit.
Jung believed we inherit archetypes — ancient patterns that live inside us like symbols in our blood.
But Adler… he understood something that still brings me to my knees:
We are shaped — quietly, powerfully — by the wounds and meanings we created in childhood. Not because they’re true, but because they helped us survive.
Adler said that our earliest experiences form an invisible “private logic” — a set of beliefs we adopt before we are old enough to question them:
“I must be perfect to be loved.” “I need to stay quiet to stay safe.” “I have to take care of everyone.” “I am responsible for other people’s happiness.” “I can’t show weakness.”
If you want to study childhood wiring and trauma, study Alfred Adler.
Adler understood what so many modern psychologists are only now beginning to integrate: that our earliest environments don’t just shape us—they organize our inner world. Birth order, belonging, inferiority, compensation, the lifelong attempt to make sense of our place in the family system… Adler mapped the architecture of why we become who we are.
He understood that a child is not a blank slate; a child is a meaning-making being from the very start, interpreting every tone, every absence, every rupture, every gesture as data. He believed that personality is the story we tell ourselves about how to survive our childhood.
You can’t study trauma without studying that. You can’t study attachment without studying that. You can’t study “why do I keep repeating this pattern?” without understanding the original emotional blueprint you drafted before you even learned to write your name.
Adler gives language to the thing we feel before we know how to articulate it. He explains why some children dissolve inward while others rebel outward. He explains the compensations, the roles, the false selves, the striving, the ache.
He explains me, in the ways I’ve been trying to understand myself since I first asked, “What’s that?” as a toddler.
These beliefs become the wiring beneath the surface. The lightbulb baking the cake. The unseen force creating the outcomes of our adult lives.
And if Freud, Jung, and Adler mapped the unconscious, tarot became the language that helped me read it.
Tarot is not fortune-telling for me. It’s x-ray vision. It shows me the emotional machinery beneath my surface decisions — the parts of me inherited from the women who came before me, the places where lineage and psychology intersect.
Each card is a mirror held up to the wiring I didn’t know I was living from: the archetypes I absorbed, the wounds I carry, the patterns I repeat, the healing I’m here to finish.
Because we don’t just inherit eye color or bone structure. We inherit coping strategies. We inherit silences. We inherit relationships with love, safety, belonging, and worth. We inherit unfinished stories.
We are walking expressions of generations of survival.
This is why I became The Kitchen Oracle. Not because I wanted to predict my future, but because I wanted to understand my wiring so I could finally live from a place of truth instead of inheritance.
It’s why tarot feels like home to me now. Not because I want to know the future — but because tarot shows me the why behind the present. The emotional mechanics. The symbolic logic. The parts of myself and my lineage that don’t speak in sentences but speak in archetypes.
And it’s why, a month ago, when my gas generator wouldn’t fire up, I didn’t take it to a shop. I drained the oil, replaced the filter, cleaned the carburetor, and rebuilt the whole thing myself. Because I still need to know how things work. Because I don’t want to entrust someone else to do the work for me. Because I still believe everything can be dismantled and rebuilt if you’re willing to understand the mechanism.
That is my gift. That is my lineage. That is my calling.
I came into this world with a soul that refuses to take anything at face value — not love, not pain, not ancestry, not endings, not beginnings. I need to know the truth inside things. I need to see the pattern beneath the pattern.
And this is why I am here now, writing this healing, unraveling these generational knots, understanding the wound beneath the wound. The little girl with the bread knife and the Easy-Bake Oven grew into the woman who can take apart emotional machinery — and rebuild a lineage.
I don’t hunt the next story. I don’t outline it or force it into existence.
It arrives.
Softly. Sideways. Through the back door of my consciousness. Through a tarot card pulled at midnight. Through a question I didn’t even know I needed to ask.
And suddenly I find myself here, writing the very thing I never knew was waiting for me — a truth rising from the deep well beneath my life, stitching itself into meaning right in front of my eyes.
DOORWAY INTO THE WOMEN WHO CAME BEFORE ME
Thinking back to my past-life memories — the healer I once was, the thresholds I stood at, the souls I tended as they entered and left this world — something opened in me. It made me look backward not just into other lifetimes, but into this one. It pulled me toward the women in my own bloodline, the ones whose stories were woven into my bones long before I ever knew their names.
Because once I began to explore my own patterns — the way I love, the way I fear, the way I stay too long, the way I carry too much — I realized these weren’t just my patterns. They felt older than me. Older than my childhood. Older than this lifetime.
And that’s when I started thinking about the women who came before me. My line. My lineage. The feminine root system I sprouted from.
The healer in my past life made me wonder about the healer in my ancestry — my great-great-grandmother who ran a farm alone after her husband died far from home, who worked the land until it was taken from her. And then her daughter, my great-grandmother, who also lived most of her life alone after losing her husband young.
The Wise Woman in My Bloodline
My great-great-grandmother, Sara-Rebecca Elizabeth Smith,— became the one people sought when life crossed the line from ordinary into sacred.
Farmers would bring their livestock to her, not for medicine, but for knowing. She could look at a mare or a cow and tell you exactly how many offspring were coming that season. No hesitation. No guessing. Just intuition as old as the land itself.
They said she could stop a horse dead in its tracks with nothing more than a look. Not from fear — but from recognition. Animals knew her. The land knew her. People knew her. She was the one you went to when nothing else made sense.
She was the medicine woman of the family. The healer. The one mothers carried their colicky babies to when they hadn’t slept for days and didn’t know what else to do.
She was the one who stayed awake during fevers, praying over children with foreheads too hot to touch. The one families turned to when diphtheria or scarlet fever could take half a household in less than a year.
She was the calm in the storm, the one who listened to the land, the one who read signs in the wind and the body, the one who stitched life together in places where science had not yet found footing.
Her hands were their medicine. Her knowing was their hope. Her presence was their anchor.
And she is in my blood. That same lineage — that same deep, feminine knowing — that same healer’s thread — lives in me.
Maybe that is why, when I pull cards, something ancient wakes up. Maybe that is why people come to me with their heartache, their questions, their unraveling.
Maybe that is why the Kundalini shook something loose in me this year — because it wasn’t new. It was remembered.
I am not the first woman in my family to read the unseen. I am the continuation.
And then — somewhere along the line — there was a kink in the chain. A rupture no one ever talked about. A shift no one could quite explain. Maybe no one even knew why it happened, only that something in the lineage changed.
The wise woman’s thread loosened. The healer’s knowing dimmed. And the women who came next — my grandmother, my mother — found themselves living a very different kind of inheritance.
They stayed in marriages with men they did not love, or men who could not love them back in the ways they needed. Maybe because leaving wasn’t an option. Maybe because the cost of choosing themselves echoed too loudly through the generations behind them. Maybe because survival demanded silence.
As I looked at these women — their choices, their silences, their losses, their endurance — I started to see a pattern stretching across time.
A mechanism. A blueprint. A quiet inheritance that shaped the lives of every daughter born into this line.
A lineage that once held a wise woman at its root now held women who were too tired, too burdened, or too afraid to trust their own inner knowing.
And suddenly it all made sense.
No wonder the Buddhists say we carry seven generations of karma. It’s not metaphor.
It’s memory. Stored in bone. Stored in blood. Stored in the places where our mothers never spoke.
THE LINEAGE THAT BUILT ME
When I asked the cards about the ancestral feminine wound I came here to heal, I expected something simple. Something poetic. Something that would sit lightly in the palm of my hand.
Instead, the cards came forward with the weight of generations.
**The Nine of Pentacles.
The Empress Reversed.
The Four of Cups.
The Five of Swords.
The Four of Swords.
The Tower
The Eight of Pentacles.
The Seven of Pentacles.
The Three of Cups.
The Fool
The King of Wands.**
ELEVEN cards. Eleven chapters of a story older than my name.
They didn’t give me a metaphor. They gave me a lineage.
✨ THE MEANING OF THE LINEAGE WOUND
Nine of Pentacles — The Self-Reliant Woman A line of women who learned to survive alone. Women who became strong because no one came to carry the weight with them. Women who learned to depend only on themselves.
THE EMPRESS REVERSED — THE WOUND OF THE WOMEN WHO CAME BEFORE ME
The Empress reversed is the card of the feminine wound — not just my wound, but the wound carried by every woman in my lineage who learned to survive by silencing parts of herself. She represents the mothers who gave until there was nothing left, the grandmothers who stayed quiet to keep the peace, the daughters who inherited emotional scarcity as if it were a birthright. She is the woman who learned that nurturing is something she must offer freely, but receiving is something she should never expect in return.
When the Empress turns upside down, she shows me the cost of being raised in a lineage where women were taught to diminish themselves in order to be loved. She reveals the patterns of overgiving, overfunctioning, overaccommodating — the compulsive caretaking that looks like kindness but is often just trauma in a pretty dress. She shows me the way love becomes a transaction, how worth becomes conditional, how longing becomes a quiet ache passed from mother to daughter like an heirloom no one ever wanted but everyone learned to hold.
The Empress reversed is the woman who forgets her own softness because life required her strength. She is the woman who mistakes self-abandonment for devotion. She is the woman who believes she must earn what should have been hers all along — safety, nourishment, affection, rest.
She is the wound that whispers: “You are too much.” “You are not enough.” “You must prove your worth.” “You must give everything to be chosen.”
This is the voice of the unhealed feminine — the inherited programming, the wiring beneath the surface, the private logic Adler wrote about. It lives in the body, in the nervous system, in the places where lineage trauma pools and waits to be seen. It’s the old belief that a woman’s value is measured by what she can endure, not by what she can receive.
But here’s the truth the Empress reversed taught me:
**This wound is not a curse.
It is an invitation.**
Reversed cards are not failures — they are thresholds. They mark the moment the lineage hands the burden to someone strong enough, conscious enough, willing enough to finally break the pattern.
The Empress reversed tells me that my mother did not have the space to heal her wound. My grandmother did not have the voice. My great-grandmother did not have the safety. But I do.
I am the first woman in my line with the tools, the language, the awareness, and the willingness to turn the card upright — to choose softness without disappearing, to nurture without self-abandonment, to receive without guilt, to rest without fear, to love without losing myself.
The Empress reversed is the embodiment of everything my ancestors survived. The Empress upright is the embodiment of everything I am becoming.
When she appears reversed, she tells me:
“Beloved, the wound is here. But so is the woman who will heal it.”
And that is where my lineage begins to exhale.
Four of Cups — The Unmet Heart Women who swallowed their desires. Women who lowered their expectations until they didn’t recognize their own longings. Women who learned not to want.
Five of Swords — The Silenced Voice Women whose truth cost them relationships, safety, acceptance. Women punished for speaking, dismissed for knowing, blamed for feeling. Women who grew quiet because the world made them.
Four of Swords — The Loneliness Women who endured heartbreak in silence. Women who had no place to bring their grief. Women who found rest only in exhaustion, not in comfort.
THE TOWER — THE MOMENT YOU CAN NO LONGER LOOK AWAY
The Tower is the card that arrives when the soul has reached the point of no return. It is the crack of lightning that hits the structure you’ve been living inside — the beliefs you inherited, the patterns you tolerated, the wounds you normalized, the stories you never questioned. The Tower doesn’t ask politely. It doesn’t knock on the door. It strikes. It fractures. It exposes.
The Tower is the archetype of truth you can no longer avoid.
It is the moment the subconscious becomes conscious, the moment the lineage wound rises to the surface, the moment the coping strategy collapses, the moment life says:
“Beloved, you can’t turn away from this anymore. It’s time to face it. All of it.”
Psychologists call this a breaking point — the moment when the unconscious refuses to stay buried beneath the surface. Jung called it the confrontation with the Shadow. Adler called it the turning point in a person’s “fiction” — the rupture that reveals the deeper truth of what needs to heal.
The Tower is not destruction for destruction’s sake. It is revelation.
It shows you what was already unstable. What was already hurting you. What was already crumbling beneath the surface. What your ancestors endured but could not say. What you have carried without realizing the weight.
And when The Tower appears on your path, it delivers the message your lineage has been whispering for generations:
“This is the moment. This is the pattern. This is the wound. Do not run. Do not numb. Do not distract yourself. Stand in the light of what is breaking open.”
The Tower teaches that healing cannot happen in silence or avoidance. It requires a collapse of the old structure so a truer, freer version of you can rise.
This is where transformation begins — not in comfort, but in clarity.
Because the Tower only destroys what was never meant to hold you.
Eight of Pentacles — The Overworked Backbone Women who worked endlessly — physically, emotionally, spiritually. Women who held families together with their bare hands. Women who carried everyone and everything.
Seven of Pentacles — The Waiting Women who waited for men to grow. Waited for love to be returned. Waited for recognition. Waited for rest. Waited for a soft landing that never came.
Three of Cups — The Sisterhood of Survival Women who relied on each other because the men in their lives were unreliable. Women who formed circles of refuge, strength, and whispered wisdom. Women who kept each other alive.
THE FOOL
The Fool is the first breath after the collapse. The sunrise after The Tower. The moment the soul steps onto a new path — not because it is certain, but because it is ready.
THE FOOL — THE NEW PATH, THE CLEAN SLATE, THE SACRED BEGINNING
If the Tower is the moment everything breaks open, The Fool is the moment you inhale again.
The Fool is the archetype of rebirth, the clean slate the soul receives once it has faced the wound, the truth, the lineage, the shadow. The Fool is not naïve — he is free. Free from the patterns that once bound him, free from inherited stories, free from the heaviness of what came before.
He doesn’t walk away from endings — he walks toward beginnings.
Where the Tower demands confrontation, The Fool offers liberation.
Where The Empress reversed asks you to acknowledge the wound, The Fool invites you to live beyond it.
Where your ancestors braced themselves against life, The Fool steps into life with open hands, open heart, open sky.
The Fool is the card that whispers:
“The past is over. The cycle is complete. It’s time to step forward into the life you were meant to live.”
He doesn’t need a map. He doesn’t need permission. He doesn’t need certainty.
He trusts the path because he trusts himself.
Psychologically, this is the moment Carl Jung called individuation — when a person becomes who they truly are, rather than who they were trained to be.
Adler described it as the birth of a new internal goal — not shaped by childhood wounds, but by the adult self rising toward meaning.
It is the moment you stop repeating your lineage and start rewriting it.
And spiritually, it is your soul stepping out of the karmic loop and into freedom.
The Fool is the yes. The beginning. The threshold. The open door.
He is the part of you that finally believes:
“I am not my past. I am not my pain. I am the next chapter.”
And this — this new path, this new way of being, this new life unfolding beneath your feet — is what your ancestors waited for.
You are the Fool, but you are also the one who has survived twenty-one cards of transformation to earn this beginning.
King of Wands — The Men Who Could Not Stay Charismatic men. Fiery men. Magnetic, passionate, unpredictable men. Men who were adored but not dependable. Men who burned bright but did not offer warmth.
Together, these cards revealed the wound I was born into:
**A lineage of women who were strong when they wanted softness,
silent when they wanted voice, tired when they needed rest, waiting when they deserved arrival, and loving men who could not meet them.**
This is the wound I came to break.
THE WOUND PASSED DOWN
The more I sat with the cards, the more I felt the truth of them settling into place.
This wound didn’t begin with me. It moved through the women before me — quietly, invisibly, relentlessly.
It lived in their backs and their breath. In their lowered voices. In their careful footsteps. In their tired hands. In their unwavering loyalty. In their unfinished dreams.
It is the wound of survival. And survival always costs something.
I realized how deeply this wound has shaped me — how often I’ve lived it without knowing:
Working past exhaustion. Shrinking my needs. Carrying everyone. Choosing men who needed saving. Speaking softly when I should have spoken clearly. Apologizing for wanting too much, or not enough. Believing I had to do everything myself.
And for the first time, I could see that none of this began with me.
But it can end with me.
THE MOMENT CLARITY FINDS ME
If there is one thing I have learned about myself over these last few months — and especially in this season of unraveling and becoming — it’s that I don’t always see clearly when I’m overwhelmed.
When I’m tired. When I’m stretched thin. When I’m afraid of what comes next. When my heart is tender and my emotions are too loud to sort through. When the past is tugging at me and the future hasn’t yet revealed its shape.
In those moments, my own vision blurs.
Not because I don’t know. But because I’m human. Because I carry so much. Because I care so deeply. Because I’ve spent a lifetime being the strong one, the steady one, the anchor everyone else ties themselves to — and sometimes even anchors drift.
And that’s when the cards come.
That’s when the Oracle wakes up.
Not to tell me something I don’t know, but to remind me of what I do know — the things I can’t access when my mind is exhausted and my heart is shaking.
It’s almost like the cards hold a mirror steady for me when my own hands are trembling.
They see for me when fear has narrowed my vision.
They speak for me when my voice is tangled in old wounds.
They guide me when the path is too dim to follow on my own.
And they do it with a kind of beauty that I still can’t fully articulate — a beauty that feels like truth wrapped in gentleness, a beauty that disarms me and puts me back into my body, a beauty that reminds me I am never actually lost.
I am simply in transition.
I am simply in the liminal space — the doorway between who I’ve been and who I’m becoming — and in that threshold, everything goes quiet and loud at the same time. Everything becomes foggy and sacred.
When I can’t see myself clearly, the Oracle sees me.
When I’m blocked by emotion or exhaustion, clarity arrives anyway — soft, patient, steady — not from outside me but through me.
Because the truth is:
I never come to the cards because I’m clueless. I come to them because I’m carrying too much to hear my own soul.
The Oracle isn’t a replacement for my intuition. It is the amplifier for it when I am too tired, too scared, too human to amplify it myself.
And I think that’s the message I needed most in this season:
I am allowed to need reflection. I am allowed to not see clearly every single moment. I am allowed to ask for help. I am allowed to let the universe hold the lantern when my hands are shaking.
This is the beauty I’m talking about — the kind that doesn’t just give you answers, but gives you back to yourself.
The kind that changes lives.
The kind that is changing mine.
THE POEM THAT FELL INTO MY HANDS
While searching through an old photo album, hoping to find a picture of myself as a little girl to include in this post, something unexpected happened. A loose page slipped out and fluttered into my lap — a handwritten poem from my grandmother.
If, by Rudyard Kipling. Seeing her handwriting, the curve of her letters, the paper she once held in her own hands… it broke something open in me. It felt like a message that had been waiting, folded quietly between the pages of time, until the moment I was ready to receive it.
The poem wasn’t just beautiful — it was guiding. Steady. Strong. A map of character and endurance that mirrored the lives of the women who came before me. It felt like she wanted me to find it.
As if she were saying, “This is what I hoped for you. This is the woman I believed you could become.” For a moment, I wasn’t just holding a poem. I was holding a thread — a line connecting her heart to mine, her pain to mine, her hopes to mine. And I understood, more clearly than ever, that healing my lineage wasn’t just something I wanted to do. It was something I was called to do.
THE CONTRACT WE MAKE BEFORE WE ARRIVE
Before we take our first breath, before we know our own name, before the world begins shaping us, there is a moment that nearly every wisdom tradition points to — a moment of choosing.
Not choosing in the way humans understand choice, but choosing in the way souls understand growth.
The Buddhists say we incarnate into the exact conditions that will awaken us. Not because they are easy, but because they are honest. Because they illuminate the places where our soul is unfinished.
Hindu philosophy teaches that the soul selects its parents based on karma — not punishment, not reward, but balance. Continuity. The next lesson in the long arc of becoming.
Kabbalah calls this Tikkun — the soul’s correction — the work we return to finish. In that tradition, our family is not random; it is the repaired seam in the quilt of lifetimes.
Carl Jung, who rarely talked about reincarnation, still said something astonishingly similar: that our family is the archetypal landscape where the psyche can confront itself. Where the mother mirrors our emotional beginning, and the father mirrors our sense of self. That we are born into the exact psychological conditions that activate our shadow so we can make it conscious.
Indigenous teachings around the world — from the Andes to Australia, from the Navajo to the Yoruba — speak of soul groups and agreements made before birth. They say we travel with the same souls again and again, changing roles each time:
“One life I will be your mother. Another life you will be mine. One life you will break my heart. Another life I will help you heal it. Together we rise.”
Modern spiritual philosophy calls these agreements soul contracts — pre-birth plans created not to trap us, but to free us by giving us the exact lessons our soul needs to evolve.
And when you put all of these traditions together — Buddhist awakening, Hindu karma, Kabbalistic correction, Jungian archetypes, Indigenous soul circles, and pre-birth planning — they all echo the same truth:
We choose the people and the circumstances that will shape us. We choose the wounds we will heal. We choose the lessons that will open us. We choose the lineage where our soul’s work lives.
Not consciously. Not with the mind. But with the eternal part of us that knows who we were and who we are becoming.
Before we ever arrive here, we say:
“Give me the father who will teach me emotional restraint, so I can learn vulnerability.”
“Give me the mother who will overwhelm me, so I can learn discernment.”
“Give me the lineage of strong, silent, exhausted women, so I can become the one who rests.”
“Give me the wounds that broke my ancestors, so I can be the one who heals them.”
“Give me the love that will challenge me, so I can rise into myself.”
We choose these things because the soul is not afraid of difficulty. The soul is afraid of stagnation. It wants movement, evolution, remembrance.
Just like you chose your lineage — your strong, tired, silenced, brilliant ancestors — because you are the one who will break the pattern and turn their suffering into something holy.
None of this is accidental. None of it is random. None of it is meaningless.
We choose our entry point into this lifetime because it is the doorway to our awakening.
And when we remember that — when we truly let it land — everything we’ve lived through begins to make sense in a deeper, quieter way.
It isn’t fate. It isn’t mistake. It is contract. It is curriculum. It is the soul saying:
“I am ready.”
THE UNPLANNED ALCHEMY OF THIS WEEK
Looking back now, nothing about this week was random.
Everything I’ve been writing — The Lovers. The past-life healer. The awakening. The grief. The clarity. The lineage.
It has all been guiding me to this moment.
This isn’t a detour. It’s the destination.
THE BREAK IN THE LINE
There is a moment in every lineage when one woman says:
“This ends with me.”
I didn’t know that woman was me.
Now I do.
I am the one who speaks instead of silences. The one who rests instead of overworks. The one who chooses partnership instead of caretaking. The one who softens without disappearing. The one who asks for more. The one who doesn’t wait. The one who steps toward healing instead of surviving.
I am the break in the line — and the beginning of something entirely new.
THE THREAD THAT CONNECTS IT ALL
The Kitchen Oracle isn’t the part of me that reads cards.
It’s the part that listens. The part that remembers. The part that honors the women before me and creates a softer world for the women after me.
It’s the part of me that understands that healing is not linear — it is ancestral, cellular, cosmic, intimate.
It is rewriting the story that lives inside the blood.
I was born for this moment in my lineage. I was born to turn their suffering into something holy.
And somehow — without forcing, without planning, without even knowing — I walked myself right into the truth that was waiting to be found.
This is the healing. This is the becoming. This is the transformation.
Sometimes life feels like we are running in circles — like a small soul on a great wheel, sprinting with all our might yet somehow landing in the same place again. Buddhism calls this samsara, the endless turning of rebirth, karma, memory, desire, and unfinished lessons.
And when we’re exhausted, it’s easy to believe we’re trapped inside it, doomed to repeat patterns without understanding why. But the teachings say something softer, something more compassionate: samsara is not punishment.
It is curriculum. It is the soul’s classroom. We come back because there is something to learn, something to heal, something to refine in our dharma — our life’s purpose, our sacred work. And the wheel only feels like a hamster wheel when we forget that its turning is meaningful.
Every repetition is a chance to understand ourselves more completely. Every lifetime is another step toward release. We don’t get off the wheel by escaping it — we get off the wheel by learning why we’re on it.
After writing my post When the Cards Became a Mirror, I said the next piece I wanted to share would be about the past-life reading I did — specifically the part that revealed who I once was as a healer. What surprised me wasn’t the imagery or the archetype itself, but how deeply familiar it felt, almost as if I were remembering a role I’ve carried through multiple lifetimes.
This isn’t fortune-telling. It’s not theatrics. It’s the symbolic language of tarot, the emotional truth it reveals, and the quiet recognition that comes when something in you finally clicks.
Sitting With My Reader
I didn’t do this reading alone. When I began asking questions about my past-life work, I sat with a seasoned reader — someone who interprets tarot the way you’d read a topographical map: no fantasy, no projection, just clarity, intuition, and respect for the archetypes.
I pulled the cards; she interpreted the story.
Disclaimer
What follows is taken from a past-life tarot reading, (circa 1996) that was recorded at the time and later transcribed. These are the interpretations and insights as they were given, preserved in their original clarity and sequence.
A Note About the Reader
It matters to say this plainly: the woman (Linda Mazuranic) who did this reading did not know me at all.
She didn’t know my history, my beliefs, my relationship patterns, my spiritual frameworks — nothing. This reading was done before social media existed, long before there was any public version of me to reference or research.
She had no access to my past, no information about my tendencies, and no context for who I was or how I lived. Her interpretations came solely from the cards in front of her and the intuitive symbolic vocabulary she had spent decades studying.
The resonance I felt wasn’t because she knew me. It was because the archetypes themselves held truth.
How I Met Linda
And because every healer seems to enter your life through a story, here’s mine: I met Linda through a recommendation from a place in Columbia, Missouri called The Bosom of Ishtar — I know, right? I worked in a local health food store at the time called Clover’s Natural Market, and the owner’s daughter, Eva, told me to call.
Linda looked like someone who had stepped out of another era — almost like an old Romani gypsy woman from a Hollywood movie. Her salt-and-pepper hair was long and wild in the most unapologetic way, as if age and intuition had shaped it more than any mirror ever had.
I remember her teeth weren’t great, but the effect wasn’t off-putting; it made her seem more real, more human, more rooted in exactly who she was. Nothing about her was curated or polished. She smoked like a chimney — but so did I at the time — and the haze in the room only made the atmosphere feel more like a threshold than a parlor.
She invited me to sit on her old sofa, the same one she had read for countless people over the years. And once the cards were laid out, all of the eccentricities disappeared. She read with a clarity, authority, and intuitive precision that left no room for theatrics or guesswork.
She was exactly who she appeared to be: a woman who had lived long, seen much, and learned to listen to the symbolic language of the world the way other people listen to weather or instinct. She’s no longer in Columbia, and I saw that she had moved to Pueblo, Colorado and is now a licensed therapist. So good.
The Apprentice Healer — Page of Pentacles
The first card I turned over was the Page of Pentacles. She smiled the way someone does when the message is simple and clean.
“This,” she said, “is not just youth. This is the beginning of vocation. This is someone invited into sacred work before they even understood why.”
And when I asked her to go deeper — to explain what that role actually looked like in practice — I pulled another sequence:
Four of Wands, Ten of Swords, The Moon, Nine of Wands, Seven of Swords, Temperance (Reversed), Ten of Cups, Page of Pentacles, the High Priestess (Reversed) and The Empress.
Together, she said, they revealed the lived reality of that apprenticeship.
The Four of Wands showed that I created stability in uncertain moments — an emotional hearth in rooms filled with fear, pain, or transition. The Ten of Swords indicated that much of my work involved endings: sitting with people in their most vulnerable passages, witnessing the final stage of life with steadiness rather than fear.
A Note on The Moon Archetype
In its upright form, The Moon is perhaps the most evocative symbol of the healer I once was. The Moon governs the liminal: the space between breath and spirit, between this world and the next, between what is known and what can only be felt. It is the archetype of intuition, emotional depth, and the quiet, ancient knowing that lives beneath language.
The Moon is where fear softens into acceptance, where darkness becomes sanctuary rather than threat. It is no coincidence that traditional healers and midwives — the women who tended both birth and death — often worked in candlelight or beneath the moon herself.
That gentle glow was believed to ease the passage, to guide the spirit, to cradle the moment of transition with feminine tenderness. In that light, nothing is harsh, nothing is forced; everything becomes softened, honest, and sacred. When I think of the work I once did — sitting beside the dying, underneath the moon, steadying them through their final hours, or comforting those in labor — it is The Moon that feels most familiar.
Her light is the atmosphere of crossing. Her presence is the quiet companion in the room. She is the archetype of the healer who walks with others through the spaces no institution can reach.
The Nine of Wands spoke to the endurance such work required — the emotional fatigue that comes with tending others through difficult thresholds and the commitment to keep showing up anyway.
The Seven of Swords clarified something important: this was not institutional healing. It was the quiet, community-rooted work found outside formal structures — traditional, intuitive, learned through presence rather than sanctioned training.
Tuberculosis as a Moon Illness
In many early communities, tuberculosis (consumption) was quietly known as a moon illness — a sickness that worsened after sundown, when fever rose and breathing grew shallow in the long, dark hours of the night.
People believed the moon pulled at the lungs the way it pulled at the tides, stirring coughs, night sweats, and the terrifying stillness that sometimes followed a coughing fit.
The danger wasn’t the daylight; it was the sleeping hours, when breath could falter and the chest grew heavy with heat. Because of this, healers often kept vigil by candlelight or moonlight, waking the sick when their coughing patterns changed, offering warm herbal teas to open the lungs, calm the nerves, soothe a raw or irriated throat, and coax breath back into the body.
Tuberculosis required a night-watcher — someone who understood that healing in those hours was as much about presence as remedy. It was the kind of illness that called for a moon healer, which is exactly the role the cards described.
A Note on the Temperance (Reversed) Archetype
Where Temperance upright represents harmony, healing, and the gentle blending of worlds, Temperance reversed shows what happens when those natural gifts are disrupted by external authority. In the context of that lifetime, it reflects a healer whose work was constrained, questioned, or forced into secrecy by systems that feared what they could not understand.
Temperance reversed is the midwife pushed out by doctrine, the herbalist forbidden to practice without male oversight, the intuitive woman told that her compassion and skill were somehow improper or dangerous. It reveals a world where balance was not allowed to flow in its natural direction — where healing had to navigate rules, suspicion, and imposed limitations.
This reversal didn’t mean I lacked the gift; it meant the structures around me tried to interrupt it. It is the archetype of a woman who knows how to soothe suffering, yet must do so quietly, carefully, or against the grain of institutional control. In many ways, it is the clearest reflection of what the cards kept showing: the healer was intact, but the world around her was not.
And the Ten of Cups showed that families trusted me, that this role was woven into the fabric of community life. The repeating Page of Pentacles echoed the original message: this was apprenticeship in the truest sense, a calling shaped by direct experience rather than instruction.
A Note on the High Priestess Reversed
If the archetype of The High Priestess describes who I was in that lifetime, then her reversed form describes the world I lived in. The High Priestess reversed is the woman whose wisdom must go underground — the intuitive healer forced to work outside church authority because her knowledge doesn’t fit within sanctioned doctrine.
She represents feminine insight that is mistrusted, suppressed, or pushed into secrecy. In the early-colonial world** implied by my reading, this reversal feels painfully accurate: women who carried natural gifts were often silenced, controlled, or accused simply for knowing what they knew.
High Priestess reversed is not a lack of intuition; it is intuition made dangerous in the eyes of institutions. Her power is intact, but the world around her demands it be hidden. In many ways, that was the conflict the cards showed — a healer trusted by her community, but constrained by the very structures meant to define “acceptable” forms of spiritual authority.
When I think about the role I played in that lifetime — tending birth, tending death, holding space for the sick, the frightened, the forgotten — it is the High Priestess who feels most familiar. She is the one who listens beneath the surface, who steadies the atmosphere, who sees what others cannot. The cards didn’t just describe what I did. They described who I was.
“This,” she said again, looking at the spread, “is the beginning of the healer you would become. Someone people turned to when life was changing shape.”
**A Note on the Historical Timing
Part of why my reader interpreted this lifetime as unfolding in the early colonial era is because the cards describe a very specific cultural shift — a period when women who carried intuitive or ancestral healing roles moved from being revered to being regarded with suspicion.
In older, pre-colonial and Indigenous communities, women who tended birth, death, herbs, and emotional transition were essential, respected, and woven into the fabric of daily life.
But there came a moment in history, especially with the rise of religious zealotry and European church influence, when that same knowledge was no longer honored.
Instead, it was monitored, restricted, or labeled dangerous simply because it existed outside male authority and outside the doctrine of the church. The spread in my reading reflected that unmistakable tension: a woman deeply trusted by the people she served, yet viewed as a threat by the institution that sought to control all forms of healing and spiritual authority.
This combination — community reverence paired with institutional suspicion — is one of the clearest markers of the early colonial world.
A Note on the Empress
The Empress appeared in my past-life reading as one of the clearest confirmations of who I was in that lifetime. She is the archetype of the earth mother healer — the woman who nourishes, comforts, tends, and restores through touch, herbs, teas, and presence.
In the context of my reading, the Empress showed that my healing wasn’t mystical or grand; it was grounded, intimate, and deeply human. I was the one families trusted, the one who brewed remedies from roots and leaves, the one who kept vigil in the moonlit hours when illness grew worse, the one whose warmth calmed fear.
She also revealed the emotional truth of that lifetime — the complexity that lived beneath the work I did. There was a tenderness with someone that could not be spoken aloud, a bond shaped more by circumstance than intention, a love expressed more through quiet actions than through words. Someone that I cared for physically, and from the heart. Someone I helped cross over. It was real, it was beautiful, but it belonged only to us in that life, and it is something I prefer to keep close to my heart rather than share.
The Empress was my role then, and in many ways, she is still my role now: the healer who nourishes body and spirit, in whatever form this lifetime allows.
The Keeper of Grief — Five of Cups
When I pulled the Five of Cups, I expected it to be my grief.
She corrected me.
“This isn’t your sorrow.”
Thought I did have my own.
In the context of my profession, it was the sorrow I accompanied.
“You walked with others through loss. You weren’t a mourner — you were a guide.”
She had me pull clarifiers:
Two of Wands → the threshold Page of Wands → the spark of hope Ace of Wands → renewal King of Cups → emotional steadiness
“You didn’t cure grief,” she said. “You helped people survive it.”
What surprised me most was the Page of Wands that clarified the Five of Cups. At first I assumed the sorrow in that card was my own, but the Page showed me otherwise. Many of the people I sat with in that lifetime weren’t just grieving — they had given up hope. The Five of Cups is despair so deep it convinces someone there is no way forward.
The Page of Wands, however, is the first flicker of life returning, the small spark that rises when someone is ready to breathe again. That card revealed that part of my role wasn’t only to witness grief, but to revive the part of a person that still wanted to continue. I didn’t take their sorrow away. I simply kept them from drowning in it.
I brought warmth into cold rooms, steadiness into fear, and a tiny ember of courage into hearts that believed they had none left. I was, in many ways, the spark of hope in the lives of those who thought their light had gone out.
A Note on Renewal and the Ace of Wands
The Ace of Wands that appeared in this spread made the message even clearer. If the Page of Wands was the small flicker of hope I brought into a grieving heart, the Ace of Wands was the moment that spark caught fire.
This card is pure life-force — the return of vitality, direction, courage, and the will to continue. It showed that part of my role as a healer was not only to steady people in their sorrow, but to help them remember the part of themselves that still wanted to live.
The Ace of Wands is the soul saying “yes” again after a long period of “no.” It is the ignition that lifts someone out of despair and back into their own strength. In that lifetime, I wasn’t just a witness to grief. I was a catalyst for renewal, helping people reclaim themselves when they believed their light had gone out for good.
Note on Renewal, Earth Knowledge, and the Spark of Healing
The Page of Wands and Ace of Wands didn’t just speak to emotional renewal — they pointed to the tangible, grounded ways I helped people rediscover their strength. In times when illness, grief, or fear emptied someone out, they came to me because they didn’t know what else to do. And this is where the earth-work began.
The Page of Wands showed the small spark I offered — a tincture, an herb poultice, a tea brewed from plants gathered at dawn, a simple remedy meant to soothe the body enough that the spirit could rise again.
The Ace of Wands was the moment that spark took hold, the renewal that came when the body was supported and the soul could reorient itself.
Healing, in that lifetime, wasn’t mystical or grand. It was grounded in the earth — roots, leaves, flowers, oils, knowledge passed through women’s hands long before there were books or doctors.
It was practical magic: strengthening weakened systems, easing fevers, calming nerves, restoring vitality. I wasn’t just tending grief. I was tending bodies back into balance, reminding them that the earth has always known how to help us find our way home.
A Little Hippie-Hearted Truth (Sidenote)
Maybe that’s why the earth knowledge feels so natural to me in this lifetime — the herbs, the teas, the roots, the plants. I’ve always been a bit of a hippie mama at heart, the kind of woman who reaches instinctively for what grows from the ground because some part of me remembers exactly how to use it.
There’s something mystical about why certain people become healers across lifetimes. Not everyone carries this path, and not everyone is asked to.
In many traditions, healer souls are recognized long before they enter the world — chosen because they remember the language of the unseen, the rhythm of the earth, the wisdom of the heart.
The universe entrusts them with this work because they have walked these roads before. Their compassion is old, their intuition ancient, their hands familiar with both suffering and renewal.
These are the souls who don’t learn healing so much as remember it — the ones who instinctively know how to comfort, how to guide, how to steady the energy in a room. The gift isn’t an achievement. It’s a memory awakened.
The Conflict — Five of Swords
I asked what challenges I faced in that life. The Five of Swords appeared.
Clarifiers:
Queen of Pentacles, Ten of Cups, Seven of Pentacles, Page of Wands, Ace of Wands, Ten of Swords, Ten of Pentacles, Three of Cups, Ace of Cups, Page of Pentacles.
She studied them slowly.
“This conflict wasn’t personal,” she said. “It was systemic. You cared more deeply than the structure allowed. Families trusted you. You worked intuitively, outside the formal hierarchy of the time. That alone created friction.”
She tapped the Ten of Swords.
“This is scapegoating. Historically, women who assisted birth, tended the dying, or practiced intuitive healing were often targeted.”
But I wanted more clarity — especially around the Queen of Pentacles (the practical healer) and the Five of Swords (the systemic conflict). So I pulled again:
Nine of Wands, Ten of Cups, Eight of Swords, Ten of Swords, Ace of Wands.
My reader pointed out immediately that several cards were repeating: Ten of Cups, Ten of Swords, Ace of Wands, Nine of Wands.
Repetition in tarot isn’t accidental — it’s emphasis.
The Nine of Wands repeated the theme of endurance. The Ten of Cups repeated the community trust. The Eight of Swords added limitation and imposed rules. The Ten of Swords repeated the scapegoating pattern. The Ace of Wands validated the underlying cause: I represented change, renewal, and possibility.
“The cards are showing the same story from different angles,” she said. “This wasn’t personal. It was structural.”
A Note on the Church and Institutional Limits
And part of that structure — both then and throughout history — was the church itself. For women who worked intuitively, compassionately, or outside sanctioned doctrine, the church often became the very force that imposed limitations on their work.
Midwives, herbalists, grieving women, community healers — anyone tending to the body or spirit in ways that didn’t pass through institutional control — were often restricted, questioned, or silenced. The rules were rarely about safety. They were almost always about authority.
The church didn’t trust what it couldn’t regulate, and women who carried natural or ancestral healing roles were often the first to be pushed to the margins. My reader said this wasn’t unique to my past life; it was part of a much larger pattern. The structure itself feared what it could not contain.
A Glimpse of the Era
The more I reflected on the reading, the more it carried the unmistakable texture of early colonial life — a time when communities depended on women healers because illness was constant and formal medicine was scarce.
People died young and often: infection, childbirth complications, fever, injury, pneumonia, influenza, malnutrition, and diseases carried through contaminated water or harsh winters.
Death was not an anomaly but a rhythm of the era, and the ones tending those thresholds were the local women who knew herbs, intuition, ritual, and presence. The cards describing systemic conflict, church tension, and quiet community trust align almost exactly with that historical landscape, where healers worked outside institutional authority and were the only source of comfort for the sick, the afraid, and the dying.
My Question About Crossing Over
At one point I asked her:
“Is it possible that part of my role was helping people cross over — from this life into whatever comes next?”
She said yes.
Not dramatically. Not mystically. Just factually.
Based on the Two of Wands, King of Cups, Five of Cups, Five of Pentacles, and Queen of Pentacles, she said the cards describe someone who worked in liminal spaces — birth, death, transformation, grief.
Someone who reduced fear, offered steadiness, and accompanied people through transition.
A guide in the human sense, not the religious one.
What the King of Cups Revealed
When the King of Cups appeared, she paused. “This,” she said, “is the clearest confirmation. The King of Cups is the companion at the threshold — the calm presence who reduces fear, anchors the atmosphere, and makes it emotionally safe to let go.”
This isn’t clergy. It’s not a mystic. It’s a healer who understands endings.
“The King of Cups,” she said, “is the one who stays present when others cannot. That was you.”
What the Two of Wands Revealed About Liminal Space
The Two of Wands was the threshold itself — the edge of one world and the beginning of another. In the context of crossing over, she said it shows the moment when a soul is still here, but already sensing the pull of elsewhere.
“You worked at that exact boundary,” she said. “Not on one side or the other. In the in-between.”
I didn’t know then how much that word — liminal — would eventually matter to me. I’ve always loved it, always gravitated toward it, long before I understood why. It wasn’t aesthetic. It wasn’t poetic.
It was memory.
I wasn’t drawn to the liminal. I was remembering it.
Who I Sat With — Five of Pentacles
When the Five of Pentacles appeared, she said it showed who I tended:
the overlooked the ill the abandoned the frightened the people outside sanctioned systems
Not the ones in temples or institutions.
“These were the people standing outside the warmth,” she said. “And you met them there.”
The card also reflects the emotional landscape of dying itself — fear of being alone, fear of being forgotten, fear of suffering.
My role was to sit exactly where others felt most exposed.
“You weren’t inside the temple,” she said. “You were outside with the people who needed you.”
A Note on Lineage and Identity
I asked whether this could have been an Indigenous lifetime — Cherokee, specifically — whether I could have been a medicine woman.
The cards affirmed the archetype of healer, but not cultural specifics. Tarot speaks in function, not ethnicity.
Skill, trust, tension, leadership, intuitive clarity — these were present. But cultural identity cannot be assigned through the cards.
Modern Tools, Ancient Work
The more I sat with all of this, the clearer it became that this archetype didn’t stay in a past life. It lives in me now.
Today, the work expresses itself through:
plant-based cooking
Psychology degree & Certified Health Practitioner
Ayurvedic nourishment
herbal instinct
meditation
yoga
shadow work
Buddhism
bodhi consciousness
compassion-based living
energetic sensitivity
These aren’t hobbies. They are modern expressions of an ancient role.
My plant-based cooking is medicine.
My meditation practice is grounding.
My Buddhist path — as someone who seeks awakening — shapes how I approach suffering, karma, and compassion.
Ayurveda teaches: “When diet is wrong, medicine is of no use. When diet is correct, medicine is of no need.”
Food heals.
Herbs Heal.
Presence heals.
Awareness heals.
Insight heals.
Different lifetime. Same healer.
The Moon and the Threshold
Something unexpected surfaced as I reflected on this reading: the imagery of the moon kept rising in my mind. I later learned that in many ancient traditions, healers who tended the dying sat beside them in candlelight or moonlight because:
the moon represents the passage between worlds the moon is the guide of the soul the moon is the feminine guardian during transition
This imagery stirred something deep, like a memory waking up rather than a concept I learned. I recognized the posture — the quiet presence beside someone who is crossing, the stillness, the compassion, the steadiness.
It felt like remembering.
A Beautiful Closing (Queen of Cups, Five of Swords, Ten of Wands, The Star, Ace of Cups, Three of Cups, Six of Cups, Ace of Pentacles & Page of Cups)
When I finally asked the cards how I died in that lifetime, I braced myself for the shadow of persecution or the violence that so many women healers endured. But the cards told a very different story. The Queen of Cups showed that I lived long enough to grow fully into my wisdom, carrying the emotional depth that marked my entire path.
The Five of Swords and Ten of Wands revealed the burdens and conflicts I faced, but not a death born of fear or condemnation. Instead, the Ace of Cups, Three of Cups, and Six of Cups painted the image of a peaceful passing — one held by community, surrounded by love, remembered with sweetness and gratitude.
A Note about The Star
The Star is a card that speaks of gentle endings, spiritual release, and the soul returning to light. The Star is the peaceful exhale after long struggle, the moment when the weight finally lifts and clarity replaces suffering.
Its presence told me that my passing was not marked by fear or violence, but by grace: a soft transition, a quiet homecoming, the kind of death reserved for those who have spent their lives easing the way for others.
In many ways, the Star felt like a blessing — a reminder that even after carrying so much, the soul is given a moment to rest, to rise, and to be held by something larger than itself.
And the Ace of Pentacles with the Page of Cups showed that my death was not an ending, but a beginning: a gentle release into the next chapter of the soul, a blessing that carried my work forward. I was not taken by violence or silenced by force. I completed my work, and I left the world as I had lived in it — quietly, compassionately, with purpose, and with love.
What I Returned to Heal in This Lifetime (Ace of Swords, Five of Cups, Seven of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, Page of Cups)
When I asked the cards what I had come back to heal from that lifetime, the message was unmistakable. The Ace of Swords showed that this lifetime is about finding my voice again — speaking the truths I once had to keep hidden, cutting through silence, and reclaiming the clarity that was denied to me before.
The Five of Cups revealed that I carried forward the sorrow of witnessing so much loss, and that part of my work now is learning to hold compassion without absorbing the grief of others as my own. The Seven of Pentacles spoke to the long arc of this healing — a karmic cycle finally maturing, a seed planted centuries ago coming into full bloom.
The Queen of Wands reminded me that unlike that past life, this one is meant to be lived in my power, openly and unapologetically, with my intuition no longer restricted or suppressed.
And the Page of Cups showed that my soul returned not only to heal others, but to rediscover my own softness — to experience emotional rebirth, creativity, wonder, and joy. This is the continuation of the work I began long ago, but finally lived in the light.
Linda’s Words About My Tired Spirit (Queen of Cups, Nine of Wands)
Linda told me all those years ago that if my spirit ever felt tired in this lifetime, this was why. She said that souls who spend lifetime after lifetime tending others — easing grief, holding vigil at thresholds, carrying burdens that aren’t theirs — eventually come into a life where the exhaustion finally catches up. My cards were the Queen of Cups and the Nine of Wands.
The Nine of Wands and Queen of Cups painted the clearest picture of who I was in that lifetime: the healer who loved deeply and carried more than her share. The Nine of Wands showed my resilience — the woman who continued to hold vigil even when she was weary, the one who stayed present through the longest nights and the hardest passages.
The Queen of Cups revealed the heart that guided it all: intuitive, compassionate, and emotionally steady in moments when others could not be. Together, they showed a healer who never turned away, even when her own spirit was heavy.
Someone who held the grief and fear of others with tenderness, even at the cost of her own rest. It was the archetype of the wounded healer — strong, soft, and exhausted from a lifetime of loving the world too much.
“It’s not your body that’s tired,” she told me gently. “It’s your spirit. You’ve been doing this work a long time.” She said that the heaviness I sometimes feel isn’t weakness; it’s memory — the residue of centuries spent being the strong one, the steady one, the one who held everyone else together.
And she told me something I didn’t understand then but do now: this is the lifetime where that weight is meant to lift, where the healer finally gets to rest, where the soul learns restoration instead of responsibility.
Someone said something to me once that settled into my bones: “The soul doesn’t remember the way the brain does.”And it’s true. The soul doesn’t keep memories as stories, timelines, or images. They come from the storehouse consciousness — alaya vijnana — the place where old memories live as emotional blueprints, not images.
It keeps them as instinct, as intuition, as resonance. This is why we don’t consciously recall our past lives—because the remembering isn’t cognitive. It’s energetic.
The soul remembers through feeling, through recognition, through the quiet sense of “I’ve done this before.” We don’t remember with our minds because the mind is new each lifetime. But the soul? The soul remembers everything it has ever touched.
The Kitchen Oracle
This is why I am renaming my blog.
Not for branding. But because it’s accurate.
The kitchen is where I root healing into the physical world. The oracle is where I understand the emotional, psychological, and spiritual patterns beneath it.
One hand in the practical. One hand in the intuitive. One foot in this lifetime. One foot remembering the last.
The healer continues. The medium evolves. The mission is the same:
to reduce suffering to nourish the body to steady the mind to understand the soul and to help people move through whatever threshold comes next.
This is who I was. This is who I am. This is The Kitchen Oracle.
There are times in life when the world goes quiet inside you— not peaceful quiet, but a kind of numbness. A shutdown. A shutting away. A feeling that your heart has stepped into another room and closed the door from the inside.
I’ve been in that space lately. Not broken. Not lost. Just… muted.
So I turned to the tarot, the way some people turn to prayer or meditation or the woods. For me, the cards have always been a mirror—one that reflects what I can’t quite say out loud yet. One that helps me see the forest when I’m tangled in the trees.
What Tarot Really Is: A Map of the Inner Landscape
People often mistake tarot for fortune telling, but tarot is really an energetic map—a symbolic conversation between the conscious mind and the unconscious one. It doesn’t announce what is going to happen. It reveals what is already unfolding beneath the surface.
Long before tarot was shuffled on velvet tables or tucked into silk bags, its imagery grew from deeply mystical roots. Many historians trace aspects of tarot’s symbolic structure back to Jewish mysticism and the Kabbalah, where numbers, letters, and archetypes were used as pathways to divine understanding.
In Kabbalah, each symbol is a doorway. Each number is a vibration. Each image is a bridge between the earthly world and the inner one.
Tarot absorbed that same symbolic architecture—an intricate system of meaning designed not to predict fate, but to illuminate the soul’s journey. Early tarot wasn’t used to foresee events; it was used as a contemplative tool, a visual guide to understanding the psyche, much like a spiritual map.
And yet, tarot’s symbolism didn’t stay confined to mystical circles. Over time, its structure evolved into something far more familiar.
How Tarot Became Modern Playing Cards
Most people don’t realize that the deck of cards sitting in a drawer in nearly every household is actually tarot’s descendant.
The suits of the modern deck mirror the four suits of tarot:
Hearts → Cups
Clubs → Wands
Diamonds → Pentacles
Spades → Swords
Even the court cards survived—Kings, Queens, and the Page who quietly became the Jack. The Knight cards were removed, however.
What didn’t survive were the Major Arcana, the 22 archetypal cards that represent the deeper psychological and spiritual journey: The Fool, The Hermit, The Star, Death, Strength, The World, and so on.
Those cards were removed intentionally.
When divination began to be frowned upon in certain regions and eras, especially in parts of Europe, people still wanted a way to work with symbolic systems, intuition, and “reading the cards” without openly using a tarot deck. So the Major Arcana — the 22 archetypal cards representing the big spiritual forces (like The Lovers, The Tower, The Star) — were removed, leaving only the 52 Minor Arcana.
Those 52 cards evolved directly into what we now call a modern playing card deck.
The four suits remained (Wands → Clubs, Cups → Hearts, Swords → Spades, Pentacles → Diamonds)
The numbers 1–10 stayed the same
The court cards simplified (Page/Knight/Queen/King → Jack/Queen/King)
With the Major Arcana removed, people could still “read” using symbolic suits while appearing to just be playing a game. It was clever. It was survival. And it allowed the language of the tarot — intuition, psychology, pattern-reading — to continue quietly beneath the surface.
This is why card readers can still do surprisingly accurate readings with a simple deck of playing cards: they’re built from the same ancient symbolic bones, just wearing a different outfit.
Jung, Archetypes, and the Power of Symbolism —
Carl Jung, a Swiss Psychiatrist, and founder of Analytical Psychology, (think shadow work) taught that certain symbols and patterns appear across all cultures — universal archetypes living in the collective unconscious. These same symbols are found in myths, dreams, art, and tarot.
To Jung, symbols weren’t superstition. They were mirrors of the psyche.
Tarot works like a dream: it bypasses logic and speaks directly to the emotional and intuitive self. It doesn’t predict the future — it clarifies the present.
When you pull a card, you’re not tapping destiny. You’re tapping the shared symbolic language that lives inside every human being.
Tarot reveals:
the emotional climate you’re in
the patterns shaping your responses
the wounds influencing your choices
the longings beneath your actions
the direction your inner self is already moving
It shows the forest and the trees.
Tarot doesn’t dictate fate. It illuminates the inner architecture so you can move forward with clarity, intention, and self-awareness.
The cards are the mirror. You are the one who steps into the reflection and chooses how to grow.
How Tarot “Reads” Other People —
Tarot does not read minds, spy on people, or reveal their private thoughts. It reads energy — the emotional field and relational dynamics between you and another person.
1. Tarot reads your energetic relationship to them. The cards reflect how you perceive the connection, what your intuition senses, the emotional patterns at play, and the current energetic truth between you. It shows the bridge between you, not their hidden thoughts.
2. Humans constantly signal subconsciously. Body language, tone, memories, patterns, hopes, fears — all of it lives below awareness. Tarot pulls that intuitive information to the surface symbolically.
3. Tarot works through universal archetypes. People express archetypes when they’re hopeful, guarded, grieving, attracted, confused, or avoiding. The cards reveal which archetype someone is showing in this moment — not forever.
4. Relationships are energetic exchanges. Every connection has resonance. Tarot translates that emotional current into symbols you can understand.
5. Tarot is metaphor, not surveillance. Asking “How does he feel?” doesn’t access his mind. It reveals the tone of the connection, the direction it’s moving, and the emotional patterns unfolding.
6. Tarot reads patterns, not destiny. Withdrawing energy appears. Conflicted energy appears. Loving energy appears. It’s not prophecy — it’s pattern recognition.
7. Tarot shows alignment, not thoughts. It clarifies whether you’re in sync, mirroring wounds, repeating cycles, or calling growth forward in each other.
8. Tarot reflects what you’re attuned to. Strong connections create strong readings. Tarot amplifies what your intuition already knows.
In short:
Tarot doesn’t read minds. It reads energy — the shared field in the collective unconscious where all of us are connected. It turns intuition into language and the unseen into something you can understand
The Dangers of Asking the Wrong Questions in Tarot —
Tarot isn’t dangerous — misguided questions are. When we ask from fear, obsession, or a need for control, the cards stop being a tool for clarity and become a mirror of our anxiety.
1. Wrong questions disconnect you from your inner wisdom. “When will this happen?” “What are they thinking right now?” “How do I avoid getting hurt?” These questions close you down. They force tarot into fortune-telling instead of insight.
2. They feed anxiety instead of healing it. Fear-based questions create chaotic or contradictory spreads because you’re not reading the situation — you’re reading your own panic.
3. They create loops, not clarity. Repeating the same “What do they feel?” question in different forms traps you in reassurance-seeking, not growth.
4. They try to override free will. Tarot shows energy and patterns, not fixed futures. Asking for certainties about another person’s future actions misunderstands the entire point of the cards.
5. They weaken intuition. Trying to make tarot tell you the unknowable makes you dependent on the cards instead of your inner voice.
6. They replace emotional processing. Wrong questions appear when we’re avoiding feelings. Tarot can reveal truth, but it cannot do the healing for you.
7. They close the very door tarot is trying to open. A bad question shrinks awareness (“Is she going to leave me?”). A good one expands it (“What part of me fears being left?”).
In short:
Wrong questions distort the mirror. Right questions open the path to insight, healing, and self-awareness.
So what is a “right” question?
A right question is:
self-reflective
emotionally honest
empowering
open-ended
grounded in curiosity, not fear
centered on your growth rather than someone else’s behavior
A right question awakens your inner healer.
A wrong question awakens your inner panic.
In the end…
The danger is never in tarot. The danger is in using tarot to bypass the deeper work instead of guiding you into it.
When we ask the right questions, tarot becomes a map, a lantern, a teacher. When we ask the wrong ones, tarot becomes a megaphone for our fears.
The cards don’t punish us for asking poorly. They simply reflect the state we were in when we asked — and sometimes that reflection is murky, confusing, or overwhelming.
But when the question is aligned, honest, and rooted in self-awareness?
The cards speak with breathtaking clarity.
Asking the Right Questions
Recently, I asked the cards, “Who am I right now?”
And the answer arrived as Kings. Not Queens. Not Pages.
The King of Swords. The King of Pentacles. Aces. Tens. The weight of responsibility. The armor of clarity. The logic that steps in when emotion steps out.
Kings hold the line. Kings protect. Kings manage the storm when the heart is too tired to feel.
The cards were showing me the internal structure holding everything together while my emotional world felt muted.
This wasn’t failure. It was self-preservation.
But it was only the beginning of the story.
Why the Shutdown Happened
When I asked why my emotional body had gone quiet, the tarot unfolded the truth:
Queen of Pentacles — my inner nurturer was depleted
Four of Cups — emotional withdrawal
Nine of Wands — the exhausted survivor
Page of Pentacles — the small, hopeful beginning
I saw clearly, maybe for the first time:
I shut down not because I was indifferent, but because I had been giving without being refilled.
My heart wasn’t gone. It was resting. Reorganizing. Waiting for safety before reopening.
What I Need to Give Myself
When I asked what I needed in this season, the tarot gave me a map of healing:
grounding
collaboration
joy
creativity
beauty
rest
truth
boundaries
emotional release
self-compassion
All signs pointed to the same two medicines I’ve turned to my entire life:
cooking and writing.
Cooking as Healing
The Eight of Pentacles (Mastery-Skills), Three of Pentacles (Collaboration-Work), and Nine of Pentacles (Material Independence) illuminated what my body already knew:
Cooking grounds me.
It is rhythm. It is ritual. It is the warm smell of onions caramelizing—the same scent that lived in my grandmother’s kitchen, wrapping me in a love deeper than words.
Cooking brings me back into my senses. Back into my lineage. Back into a place where nurturing comes from abundance, not depletion.
My grandmother’s kitchen was the first place that ever felt safe to me. Warm. Predictable. Grounded. A place where love wasn’t spoken out loud, but it was everywhere — tucked into the corners like sunlight, folded into the dough, simmering in every pot.
When we cooked together, I didn’t realize what was happening. I didn’t understand why being beside her, stirring something simple, made my whole body exhale. I didn’t yet have the language for safety or grounding or nervous system regulation.
All I knew was that something inside me softened there.
It awakens the Queen of Pentacles—(Nurturing Abundance, Groundedness) the version of myself who feels stable, connected, and whole.
Writing as Renewal
Long before I ever stepped into a kitchen with intention, before I studied Ayurveda, before I built a plant-based apothecary on my shelves, I had another instinctive tool for making sense of the world:
words.
The second half of my reading was the Ace of Swords, Queen of Cups, Page of Swords— a clear message from the deepest part of me.
Together, the Ace of Swords, Queen of Cups, and Page of Swords show that writing is my truest method of healing.
The Ace of Swords gives me clarity — the clean, sharp truth that rises the moment I put words on a page.
The Queen of Cups brings emotional depth, allowing my feelings to soften, open, and find their voice through language.
And the Page of Swords reflects my lifelong curiosity, the instinct to question, explore, and understand the world through words. When these three come together, they reveal that writing is where my mind clears, my heart releases, and my spirit finds meaning — a sacred space where insight and emotion meet and become healing.
Writing is where my emotions return. It is where truth rises gently to the surface. It is where the heart speaks without needing permission.
Writing has always been my passion — not in a performative way, not for perfection or polish, but because it is the most natural thing my soul knows how to do. Sometimes the words come faster than my hands can move, like they’re pouring through me from somewhere deeper, older, wiser.
My mother loves to tell the story that my first words came at nine months old, and they weren’t “mama” or “dada.” They were: “What’s that?”
I started life with a question on my lips. Curiosity was my first language.
I’ve always needed context, understanding, reference points — a way to translate the world around me into something I could hold. Words became the way I soothed myself, the way I made sense of emotions, the way I reached for truth.
No wonder I ended up with a degree in psychology. No wonder symbolism, human behavior, archetypes, and meaning have always called to me. No wonder tarot felt like home the first time I picked it up.
Writing is my emotional compass. It is where I process, where I alchemize, where I turn chaos into clarity. It is a mirror — one that shows me who I am, who I’ve been, and who I am becoming.
One nourishes the body. The other nourishes the mind and heart. Both are rituals. Both are grounding. Both are love, translated.
And both have carried me through every version of myself.
Writing is clarity. It is catharsis. It is meaning making.
It awakens the Queen of Cups—the emotional, intuitive, receptive part of me.
Just like cooking, writing is another extension of the healer I once was — and still am. (My next post will be about a reading I had professionally done living as healer/midwife in my past life called “The Bridge Between Lifetimes.” ) Stay tuned. 🙂
What Cooking and Writing Bring Out in Me
The cards painted the most beautiful portrait:
Queen of Pentacles — grounding
Two of Pentacles — balance
Eight of Wands — momentum
Ten of Pentacles — legacy and memory
Five of Cups — emotional release
Ace of Wands — creative fire
Three of Cups — joy and connection
Three of Pentacles — purpose
Page & Queen of Swords — insight and understanding
Cooking brings me back to earth. Writing brings me back to truth. Together, they bring me back to myself.
The Most Beautiful Part: My Progression From Kings → Pages → Queens
The tarot revealed a progression I didn’t expect:
I began in King energy—structured, controlled, protective.
But when I stepped into the kitchen and onto the page, those Kings softened into Pages—the small spark of beginner’s hope.
And from those Pages emerged Queens—the embodied, intuitive, emotionally connected versions of myself.
It’s as if the cards said:
“Your strength protected you. Your creativity heals you. Your sensitivity returns when you feel safe again.”
The Kings held the structure. The Pages allowed me to begin again. The Queens helped me remember how to feel.
That is the forest. Not the anxious tree I kept staring at.
Seeing the Bigger Picture
This is what tarot does when you ask the right questions.
It doesn’t predict the future. It reveals the present with honesty, compassion, and depth. It illuminates the emotional season you’re standing in and shows you the path back to yourself.
And in those cards, I finally saw:
I am not shutting down. I am shifting. Healing. Rebalancing. Coming home to myself through the work of my hands and the truth of my words.
Through cooking. Through writing. Through the wisdom of ancient symbols and the quiet strength of my own intuition.
Sometimes the forest really is bigger than the trees. And sometimes the cards help you finally see it.
✨ My Tarot Card of the Year: The Lovers
It’s funny — I’ve been using tarot for more than thirty-five years, and yet this year, of all years, The Lovers decided to sit with me. And I don’t mean in the romantic, fairy-tale sense people often assume. The Lovers is so much more than that. It’s an invitation. A reckoning. A mirror held up to your deepest truth.
A Lovers year asks you to choose from the heart, not from fear. And that has been the theme of my entire year — learning to listen to the quiet inner voice that whispers, this is what aligns, this is what feels right, this is the path that’s yours.
✨ A Year of Crossroads
The Lovers met me at every crossroads. Every time I felt pulled between duty and desire, between habit and growth, between what I knew and what my soul was trying to become, The Lovers appeared again and again saying:
“Choose what’s real. Choose what’s true. Choose what feels like love—not what feels like fear.”
And I did. Sometimes clumsily, sometimes boldly, but always with my whole heart.
✨ Mirror Connections
The Lovers brings people into your life who act as mirrors — connections that stir something awake inside you. Some people ground you. Some people inspire you. Some people walk in and activate pieces of your soul you forgot were even there.
This year, Gateway became my home, my heart, my purpose, my great love. Cooking, creating, building something real — that love is deep and unwavering.
But that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving anything or anyone else. This is what The Lovers teaches: love is not a single doorway. It is a constellation.
Some connections arrive to steady you. Others arrive to show you the parts of yourself that are still alive and burning.
Both are true. Both can coexist. And that doesn’t diminish either one.
✨ Integration, Not Division
For so long, I thought choices had to be either/or. (My moon and rising are both Gemini). This or that. Here or there. One thing or nothing at all.
But The Lovers gently showed me that life is rarely that binary.
This card taught me how to hold two truths in the same hand without breaking anything:
I can love Gateway with my whole being… and still feel something meaningful when another connection brushes against my soul.
Loving one thing doesn’t cancel out the capacity to love another. That is the lesson of The Lovers.
✨ Healing Through Connection
This year didn’t heal me through solitude — it healed me through people. Through the ones who challenged me, the ones who inspired me, the ones who confused me, and the ones whose energy lingered long after they left.
The Lovers taught me that healing can happen in the presence of others. That connection can be sacred. That love — in all its forms — reveals who we truly are.
✨ The End of a Lovers Year
As this year closes, I can feel the clarity settling in my bones.
Through friendships I know what real love feels like. I know what aligns with my spirit. I know which choices honor who I’ve become.
My Lovers year didn’t give me answers — it gave me truth. It rearranged the way I see myself, the way I love, the way I choose.
And perhaps the biggest revelation is this: My heart is allowed to be expansive.
I don’t have to shrink love into a single shape or a single story. Living in the truth of The Lovers energy doesn’t just attract romantic partners — it attracts every kind of love that is meant for me. When I’m aligned with myself, when I’m grounded in who I am, I naturally draw in friends, jobs, soul-connections, and partners who reflect that same integrity back to me.
The Lovers teaches that “like calls to like.” So whether it’s a friend who feels like home or an actual lover who wants to meet me soul-to-soul, the relationships that show up in my life will begin to match the frequency of the truth I’m living.
When I honor myself, I attract people who honor me.
When I live in clarity, I attract people who communicate clearly.
When I stay rooted in love — real love, the kind that feels like safety and expansion — I call in relationships of every kind that feel nourishing, reciprocal, and aligned with who I’m becoming.
Gateway is my great love. But that doesn’t mean my heart can’t recognize something sacred in a person as well.
This is the legacy of my Lovers year: I follow my truth now. I choose from the heart. And I trust that love — real love — is on its way, and something my soul will always recognize.
There are moments in life when something inside you wakes up, stretches its limbs, and reminds you that you’re still here. Not just existing. Alive. Truly, wildly, soul-deep alive in a way you haven’t felt in years.
That’s where I am right now.
I put a dream out into the universe not long ago — quietly, intentionally — the way you release something you love with both hope and surrender. And the universe, in its own perfect timing, whispered back. Maybe feeling alive begins long before the dream comes true. Maybe it starts the moment you choose to believe you deserve more than survival. The moment you stop waiting for life to happen, and you start making it.
And this week, that truth unfolded in the most beautiful way.
My happy place has always been the kitchen. Gateway especially. The energy there, the purpose behind every event, the hum of creative momentum — it all feels like home. When I’m in that kitchen, feeding people and working alongside someone who understands my rhythm, everything in me settles.
This week was a whirlwind, but the best kind:
Wednesday we shopped. Thursday we prepped. Friday we transported everything and set up the Christmas party.
Three days of movement, intention, laughter, planning, and purpose. Three days of feeling more alive and grounded than I have in so long.
And at the center of it was Caryn.
The day we met! (2017) With the great Natasha Kwan.
Gateway Christmas Party. Covered in glitter and lipstick! (2025)
Eight years ago, I reached out to her because she felt like someone I was meant to know. I didn’t question it — I just followed that quiet inner pull that whispered, “Pay attention.”
Four months ago, I reached out to her again and asked her to be one of my chef’s at Gateway. We’ve been told we look like sisters. Maybe we do. But the deeper truth is that she feels like someone my soul recognized before my mind ever caught up.
One of my favorite things we made for the party were these simple vegan pastry cups — caramelized onions, vegan feta, and tomatoes. Nothing dramatic, nothing complicated, just humble ingredients layered together in a way that somehow became magic.
It struck me as we worked: That’s life. That’s friendship. That’s purpose.
Simple things — a moment, a conversation, a shared task, a single decision to reach out to someone eight years ago — come together slowly, quietly, intentionally. And before you realize what you’re building, they become something bigger than the sum of their parts. Something meaningful. Something whole. Something that feeds you in ways you didn’t even know you were hungry for.
Just like those cups: each ingredient good on its own, but together — something elevated, something complete.
And somewhere in the middle of all of it — the prepping and unloading pans, the ovens heating up, and the music playing in the kitchen while we worked side by side — I realized something I didn’t expect:
Gateway is my new love.
Not a crush. Not a phase. A real love — grounded, steady, awakening. The kind that lights you up in places that had quietly gone dim. The kind that feels like purpose. The kind that feels like home.
Last night, surrounded by good food, intention, and someone who feels like a sister from another lifetime, I felt humbled when Caryn thanked me. I felt grounded. Connected. Seen. We built something together — not just a menu, not just a party, but a moment that reminded me how much I love this life I’m creating.
Feeling alive again isn’t luck. It’s courage. It’s intention. It’s collaboration. It’s choosing yourself. It’s trusting that the universe meets you where you’re brave.
And after three full days of pouring our hearts into something beautiful, I felt that spark again — that joy, that deep knowing:
There is something about breakfast that has always felt like home to me.
Maybe it’s because it reminds me of my grandma — those slow, soft mornings when I would wake up to the smell of something warm drifting through the house. Before my eyes were even fully open, the promise of breakfast was already calling me into the kitchen. It wasn’t just food; it was comfort, security, and the purest kind of love. The kind you don’t need to name or explain, because you feel it the moment you step into the room.
My daughter was home from college for the holiday recently, and I watched her do the same thing I used to do at my grandma’s house. She came downstairs, wrapped in a blanket, hair messy from sleep, breathing in the smells coming from my kitchen. And in that moment, time folded in on itself. I saw my younger self, and I saw her, and I realized that memories and food are threads that bind generations together.
That’s really what cooking has always been for me — my quiet way of saying I love you. How do you say “I love you” without saying it?
You ask, “Are you hungry?”
You put an extra scoop on their plate. You make the good coffee. You stir slowly, season gently, fold in the ingredients like they’re made of memory. Food is the language my hands speak even when my heart is too full for words.
This breakfast casserole is exactly that kind of meal. Warm. Comforting. Cozy in a way only the holidays can be. It fills the kitchen with the kind of smells that pull everyone to the table, sleepy and smiling. And instead of using a traditional pie crust, I pressed crisp breakfast potatoes into the bottom of the dish — a hearty, golden base that feels rustic and homey, like something my grandma would’ve made without even thinking twice. It gives the casserole this satisfying, almost nostalgic foundation that tastes like the mornings I grew up with.
I love the addition of the Rebel Cheese paprika chèvre — it melts into these gorgeous creamy pockets of smoky, tangy goodness. But if you don’t have it, you can absolutely use Violife feta and add a teaspoon of paprika. It still gives you that savory little spark.
Breakfast will always be my favorite meal, not because of the food itself, but because of what it carries with it: memories, connection, love passed down in the language of “eat, baby.”
The holidays are cozy to me — soft blankets, warm kitchens, people I love drifting in and out, always asking what smells so good. And if I can give them even a sliver of the comfort my grandmother gave me, then that’s the real recipe.
Because breakfast isn’t just breakfast. It’s home. It’s love. And it’s the first “I love you” of the day.
As I near the year’s end, I’ve been doing a great deal of reflecting.
There’s something about standing at the edge of a chapter — still holding what was, while slowly turning toward what will be — that makes you look at your life with clearer eyes.
And this year, clarity came in waves.
This year has been about standing in my truth —
even when my heart felt torn,
even when other people’s emotions swirled around me like storms,
even when everything in me wanted comfort instead of growth.
I refused to be pulled out of my purpose by anyone else’s immaturity or lack of awareness.
I learned that I can be the tree:
my branches may sway in the wind,
but my roots do not move.
I see people.
I study them.
I can read the quiet shifts in energy before they ever speak.
I can sometimes predict a person’s behavior before they act, not because I’m magical, but because I’ve lived enough life to recognize the rhythm of human patterns.
And I’ve learned to trust what I sense.
I have been burned.
I carry scars, and some of them still ache.
I have been yelled at, embarrassed, dismissed, bruised, and neglected.
I’ve had moments where life brought me to my knees.
But in those shadows, I found others like me —
other survivors, other fierce women
who finally stood up to the people who underestimated them and said, Not anymore.
I’ve had to prove myself.
My loyalty has been tested.
My patience has been stretched to its breaking point.
And through all of it, I kept showing up.
Through my strength, I became respected.
Not because I demanded it,
but because I embodied it.
I have been invited to tables I once stood outside of.
I have kept my wits in rooms designed to shake me.
I have kept my composure when falling apart would’ve been easier.
And I have earned trust — not through perfection, but through consistency.
This year, I also found myself stepping away from chapters that defined me for decades.
When you spend nearly 25 years walking beside someone, it shapes you.
But sometimes, without blame or bitterness, you realize that a path you have walked for so long is no longer the one your soul can continue on.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is gently step back from what has been familiar
and choose yourself again.
Quietly.
Respectfully.
Truthfully.
Life has a way of showing you when you’ve outgrown something… or when you’ve finally grown into yourself. And I realized that I have leveled up—emotionally, spiritually, energetically. I am no longer willing to stay in places where my spirit must shrink to fit. Some paths end not with anger or blame, but with a deep exhale and the understanding that your soul is ready for more.
I don’t rise or fall according to someone else’s storms anymore.
When you ask, you shall receive. I asked to grow, to see the truths that had been quietly holding me back. I asked to rise, to evolve, to expand in ways I wasn’t yet ready to understand.
And life answered.
Not through ease or comfort, but through the exact lessons that would strip away every illusion I still clung to. Through people who tested my boundaries, through moments that shook me awake, through situations that forced me to stand in my own power. I learned not to react when others wanted me to fail, not to absorb the wounds they tried to hand me. Their pain is not my responsibility, their projections are not my story.
I leveled up—not because of a job, not because of a man, not because of validation from anywhere outside of myself—but because something inside me finally aligned with the spiritual love that has always been mine. The love that moves quietly beneath everything. The love that asks nothing except that I show up as truth, as balance, as authenticity, and as reciprocity.
Going forward, the energy I call in is equal. Equal friendships. Equal partnerships. Equal work. Relationships and places that meet me where I stand, that support me as deeply as I support them. A shared reflection. A mutual rising.
This is the path I asked for. And I’m walking it now—eyes open, heart steady, spirit unshakeable.
Every heartbreaking moment,
every painful lesson,
every disappointment,
every betrayal,
every silence
was preparing me —
not punishing me.
Growth is rarely soft.
It hurts.
It cracks you open.
It pulls you from your comfort.
It demands that you shed the versions of yourself that survived,
so you can become the version that thrives.
This year, I broke patterns that no longer belonged to me.
I stepped away from situations that didn’t feed me anymore —
and some that never fed me at all.
I stopped confusing familiarity with nourishment.
And I learned to hold onto myself.
I do not make other people’s problems my problems anymore.
I no longer absorb what was never mine to carry.
I can care without carrying.
I can love without losing myself.
I can witness without becoming wounded.
Their storms are not my storms.
Their chaos is not my calling.
I am steadfast now,
not because my life has been easy,
but because I allowed it to shape me into someone stronger than my circumstances.
I know who I am.
And I am done apologizing for the fire it took to become her.
So here I stand—rooted, rising, and finally aligned with the woman I was always meant to become.
I am no longer shrinking to fit old stories or old versions of myself.
I am no longer bending under the weight of other people’s expectations.
I am choosing a life built on truth, reciprocity, and grounded joy.
A life where I am met, not managed; supported, not drained; cherished, not tolerated.
I am stepping into this next chapter with my head high, my heart open, and my roots firm in the earth beneath me.
Whatever comes next, I will greet it with the same courage that carried me through every fire before this one.
Because I know who I am now.
And I finally trust that the world ahead of me will rise to meet that truth.
I love chili on a cold day! This chili was a favorite of ours until we adopted a vegan lifestyle. I felt so overwhelmed in the beginning that many recipes sat on the proverbial shelf. This recipe was one of them, until now!
I love soy curls! I had heard about them for several years, but I had never bought any. One day, I found myself craving an old favorite: the carne asada taco.
After perusing dozens of vegan recipes, I came across one that used soy curls. I bought them, and well, the rest is history. Since then, I’ve used them in making fajitas, Chili Verdes, and now, in this white bean chili.
My old recipe used chicken, of course, and white cheese. This new version uses soy curls and my béchamel sauce. I always keep a container of the sauce in my freezer, so that’s what I used. If you prefer a nut-free option, then soy cream is a great alternative. I added a bit of chili powder at the end, too, just for a bit of kick!
2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro, plus more for serving
Tortilla chips or strips, vegan sour cream, sliced avocado for serving (optional)
Instructions
In a medium bowl, add soy curls and cover with 32 oz. of vegetable stock. Let sit until soy curls have rehydrated, about 10 minutes. Set aside.
Warm a dutch oven over medium heat. When heated, add oil. When the oil is shimmering, add onion and sauté until onions are translucent, about 7-8 minutes.
When soy curls have rehydrated, use a slotted spoon and remove soy curls from stock (reserving stock). Add soy curls to the pan and sauté until brown (about 7-8 minutes). If the curls begin to stick, add stock 2 tablespoons at a time.
Add garlic, and sauté until fragrant—about 30 seconds.
Add spices and green chilis to the pan. Dry sauté for approximately 1-2 minutes, or until spices are fragrant.
Add remaining vegetable broth and deglaze the pan. (Stir the bottom of the pan and removed all fond)
Add white chili beans and corn. Stir well.
Cook chili until ingredients have warmed. About 15 minutes.
Add soy cream or béchamel sauce and stir until warmed through.
Check for seasoning and serve warm.
Top with vegan sour cream, avocados, and cilantro, diced onions, optional.
When my parents first got married, my dad had just come back from Vietnam. He was living in his car when they met, so he only had a few things to his name: some clothes, his service medals, and his records. Like me, his taste in music was all over the map—from Peter, Paul & Mary to Black Sabbath.
He discovered Sabbath while he was overseas—said one of the guys in his unit had a reel-to-reel tape of their first album, and it sounded like what war felt like.
My mom, raised Baptist, found his Sabbath records after they moved in together—and burned them. Needless to say, they were only married five years.
My dad suffered deeply from PTSD. He was a point man—what they called a “pony man”—a cavalry scout in the Army. His job was one of the most dangerous you could have: to ride ahead of his unit, often through dense jungle, eyes scanning for tripwires, ambushes, landmines, and booby traps. He was the first line of defense. The first one out front. The first one in danger. Every step could have been his last, and he knew it.
But he did it anyway.
He was brave. He still is my hero.
My dad is the 5th guy standing on the right wearing the baggy shirt. (Feb, 1969)
When he came to Columbia for Dad’s Weekend my freshman year at Mizzou, we spent hours talking about the past—about what he was doing when he was 19. He told me that after the war, the first place he went was San Francisco in August of 1970. That’s when he went to one of the Dead’s acid test parties—Jerry himself handed him a cup of Kool-Aid.
For my 16th birthday, he gave me a copy of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe. My mom tore it up. So when I got to college, I bought another copy. And yeah, we had some of our own acid parties. That’s when I understood what it means to break on through to the other side.
That was the height of my Grateful Dead years. Around then, he sent me a postcard from Haight-Ashbury. On the front: Tie dye pic of Haight Asbury. On the back, “The 60s—love ‘em or leave the Haight.” and he scrawled lyrics from The End by The Doors:
“I awoke with dawn, putting on my boots,
I take a face from the ancient gallery
And walk on down the hall.”
Then he wrote:
“The West is the best.
See ya in September.
Love, Dad.”
That same weekend at Mizzou, he told me the story about my mom burning his Sabbath albums—how she’d found them not long after they moved in together, called them devil music, and threw them into a fire. He just shook his head and laughed, like he’d made peace with it, but you could still hear the sting in his voice.
Then he took me to Streetside Records and bought me a copy of Paranoid. Said it was his favorite. Said it came out the year before I was born. Told me he used to blast that record in his old bedroom after he moved back into his parents’ house—cranked it up loud to drown out my grandfather, who used to call him a worthless hippy every time he walked in the door.
We sat in the car after that, and I finally worked up the nerve to tell him I’d started smoking weed. I braced myself for a lecture, or at least a long pause. But he just looked at me, calm as ever, and said, “Just be careful.”
It broke my heart to know what he went through in Vietnam—and what he went through when he came home. The war didn’t end when he got off the plane. He had to fight for peace in his own house, in his own mind, every single day.
I wanted to be like him.
A rebel.
A wiseman.
Someone who had seen beyond the veil and didn’t flinch.
Someone who knew.
Someone who could still love.
He loved me fiercely. No matter what was happening in his own head, he always made room for mine. He made sure I saw the world from all sides—not just the one my conservative mother tried to shield me with. He wanted me to question, to feel, to think for myself. To never be afraid of the dark—or the truth hiding in it.
He became a vegetarian. A Buddhist.
A man who had once walked point through jungles and tripwires, now walking gently through this world—choosing compassion, silence, stillness. He had seen death up close and decided, in the end, to live with tenderness.
The day my brother Sean was born, my dad was at a feminist rally—because of course he was. Fighting for equality one minute, racing to the hospital the next. That was him in a nutshell: one boot in protest, the other in fatherhood.
And even near the end, he was still showing up for others. Before he died, he was teaching the Chinese family who lived next door how to speak English—patiently sitting with them, one word at a time, offering the language of belonging like it was the most natural thing in the world. Because to him, it was.
He died from Agent Orange exposure—slow poison from a war he never stopped fighting.
Some men died on the battlefield.
Some died forty years later.
But they all gave the same sacrifice.
Like Ozzy, he died in his 70s—taken too soon by Parkinson’s.
Two warriors from different worlds.
Both loud, both gentle.
Both mine to cherish.
So, when Ozzy died, I cried. Like… a lot.
But I think it was because I couldn’t stop thinking of my dad.
That’s what really broke me open.
That’s what’s making me cry now.
My mom called him Honey.
His family called him Butch.
I called him Honey Butchy.
There is no one on earth like your dad.
And there never will be.
God, I miss you, Daddy.
I know your blood runs in my veins.
I know you’re always with me.
And I like to believe that somewhere out there,
you’re hanging with Jerry and Ozzy—
jamming, laughing,
and passing around some sweet leaf.
This one’s for Ozzy, Jerry, and my Dad. Honey Butchy forever.
The Ozz-Bowl: moody, bold, and plant-based to the core. Black rice, crispy tofu, miso eggplant, and a tahini-ginger drizzle that hits like a power chord. 🖤🥢
Ingredients
Scale
1 cup black rice, cooked according to package directions, and fluffed.
Splash of rice vinegar + sesame oil for flavor
Crispy Tofu:
1 block extra-firm tofu, pressed and cubed
2 tbsp tamari
1 tbsp sesame oil
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 tsp garlic powder
Optional: black sesame seeds
Miso-Glazed Eggplant:
1 small eggplant, sliced into half-moons
1 tbsp white miso paste
1 tbsp maple syrup
1 tbsp rice vinegar
1 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
Blistered Shishito Peppers:
1 cup shishito peppers
1 tsp avocado oil or olive oil
Sea salt to finish
Charred Greens:
2 cups kale or collard greens, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp olive oil
Pinch of chili flakes
Tahini-Ginger Drizzle:
2 tbsp tahini
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp water (more as needed)
1 tsp fresh grated ginger
1 tsp maple syrup
1/2 tsp tamari
Chili “Bat Wing” Crisp:
1 tortilla (charcoal or black bean for color)
1 tsp olive oil
Chili powder + flaky salt
Instructions
Cook black rice according to package. Season lightly with rice vinegar and sesame oil if desired. Set aside.
Make crispy tofu: Toss tofu in tamari, sesame oil, garlic powder, and cornstarch. Air-fry at 400°F for 10–15 min or bake at 425°F for 25 min until golden and crisp. Optional: toss in black sesame seeds.
Prepare miso eggplant: Mix glaze ingredients and brush over sliced eggplant. Roast at 425°F for 20 min, flipping halfway, until caramelized.
Blister shishitos: Sear peppers in a hot skillet with oil until blistered and slightly charred, about 5 minutes. Sprinkle with sea salt.
Char greens: Sauté garlic in oil, add greens and chili flakes, cook until just wilted and edges start to char.
Make drizzle: Whisk tahini, lemon juice, ginger, maple, tamari, and water until pourable.
Create “bat wing” crisp: Cut tortilla into jagged bat wing shapes, brush with oil, sprinkle with chili powder and salt. Bake at 375°F for ~7 minutes or until crisp and dark.
Assemble: In a shallow bowl, layer black rice, tofu, eggplant, greens, and shishitos. Drizzle with tahini-ginger sauce and crown it with your chili bat wing crisp.
🔥 Optional Garnishes:
Pickled red onions
Black garlic paste swirl
Edible black flowers (like viola or pansy) for that gothic flair
I’ve said it before, but the hardest part of going vegan was giving up cheese. So much so that I even created—and taught—a vegan cheese class!
One of my absolute favorites is this Vegan Queso Blanco. It’s unbelievably delicious and incredibly easy to make. I put it on everything—from enchiladas to mac-n-cheese—but honestly, most of the time you’ll find me hovering over a plate of warm tortilla chips, dipping until my heart’s content.
The best part? This recipe is 100% plant-based, oil-free, and completely cholesterol-free. Serve it piping hot, and watch it disappear in minutes!
It also reheats beautifully: just add a tablespoon or two of plant-based milk and microwave on medium heat for 30 seconds. Give it a good stir and add another 30 seconds if needed until it’s perfectly warm and melty again.
This oil-free vegan queso is ready in less than 15 minutes! So yummy, you can add as much or as little heat as you want by skipping the jalapeños or doubling them up! Enjoy!
Ingredients
Scale
1 cup raw cashews, soaked overnight, if not using high powered blender
1 onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, peeled
1 cup vegetable stock
1 cup plant-based milk (I use Oatly oat milk)
3 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp tapioca starch (for a gooey consistency)
1–2 tsp salt
1 (4 oz) can pickled jalapeños with juice
1 can tomatoes with green chili’s, like Rotel
Dash turmeric for color, if desired
Instructions
Warm a medium-size skillet over medium heat. Add 2 tbsp vegetable stock and onions. Sauté onions until done and translucent, about 7-8 minutes. Remove onions from pan, and add to blender. Add all remaining ingredients except the Rotel tomatoes, if using. Blend until very smooth. If using a Vitamix, about 45 seconds on high.
Transfer to a saucepan and put on the stove over medium-low heat. Heat until desired consistency, continually stirring so as not to burn the bottom.
Taste and add extra salt if desired. Pour vegan queso into a serving bowl and stir in the 1/4 cup chopped pickled jalapeños and drained can of Rotel if using. Garnish and serve.
Notes
Keep leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge about 5 days. When reheating, add additional unsweetened plant-based milk, if desired, to thin to desired consistency.
You can use chicken broth instead of vegetable if you’re not vegan.
Some things are just meant to be together—peanut butter & jelly, socks & shoes, Kurt & Goldie… and cucumbers & dill.
Crisp, cool, and refreshingly simple, cucumbers have been a staple in American kitchens for centuries. Brought to North America by European settlers in the late 16th century, the cucumber is actually native to India and is one of the world’s oldest cultivated crops—around 3,000 years old!
Belonging to theCucurbitaceaefamily (hello, watermelon, muskmelon, pumpkin, and squash), cucumbers are 96% water and can be up to 20 degrees cooler on the inside than the outside. Basically, they’re nature’s air conditioning. Plus, a half cup of sliced cucumber has only eight calories—talk about guilt-free crunch.
As a kid, cucumbers meant salad. These days, I’ve used them as crudités, turned them into pickles, slapped them on puffy eyes… but until recently, I’d never made them themain eventin a soup.
Here’s the deal: cucumbers aren’t just for spa water. They’re surprisingly versatile. Did you know you can also use cucumbers to:
Deter slugs by tossing diced ones in an aluminum pan (the reaction creates a scent pests hate)
Help with digestion and constipation, thanks to their water and fiber
Fight off tapeworms (they contain erepsin, an enzyme that targets parasites)
Cure hangovers—with B vitamins, electrolytes, and natural sugars
Reduce cellulite—phytochemicals in cucumbers tighten collagen
Promote long, strong hair (they’re packed with silica, calcium, and sulfur)
Even clean toddler graffiti—cucumbers can erase crayon marks from walls!
Now let’s talk about cucumber’s BFF:Dill.
More than just a flavorful herb, dill is packed with health benefits. It’s rich in flavonoids, which can help reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke, and it may even lower LDL (“bad”) cholesterol. According to our ever-reliable friend WebMD, dill:
Regulates blood sugar (thanks to eugenol)
Promotes digestion
Strengthens bones
Fights infections
Even helps remedy insomnia
Add in some heart-healthy walnuts and a touch of spice, and you’ve got yourself something that feels like amagic elixir. This chilled soup has roots in Eastern Europe, similar to the Turkishçorbaknown ascacık(pronounced “jah-jick”), a yogurt-based dish beloved throughout the Mediterranean.
I tried a few different versions, but this one—with red pepper flakes and a hint of tarragon—was the winner. Creamy, tangy, herby, and just a little spicy.
If you make it, tag me—I want to know what you think! 🥒💚
Never before have I been so enthralled by a book, especially a cookbook. Alice Toklas’s cookbook is anything but ordinary. It’s a captivating collection of true stories about cooking for friends in Paris, including Thornton Wilder, Picasso, and Matisse, and friends cooking for her and her partner Gertrude Stein, with recipes sprinkled throughout.
Each recipe is a personal narrative, detailing when it was cooked, where, and who she was with when she ate it. The backdrop is set in southern France just before the dark days of Hitler’s occupation.
When urged to leave France for America, Toklas’s partner, Gertrude Stein, responded in a testament to her love for food and the discomfort she was willing to endure. She was quoted as saying,” Well, I don’t know. Moving back would be awfully uncomfortable, and I would be fussy about my food. Let’s not leave.”
So, Toklas and Stein stayed in France, even though Thornton “Thornie” Wilder had procured a safe place for the women in Greenwich Village.
Instead, they left Paris and headed for Bugey near the Swiss border, where they rationed food and cigarettes and made somewhat questionable friendships.
Some have even argued that Stein’s insistence on not leaving France explains her relationship with the Vichy regime, an authoritarian puppet regime that governed the southeast of France and collaborated with the Axis powers, and her unlikely friendship with Marshal Phillipe Pétain.
Perhaps, in a desperate bid for survival, Stein, a Jewish lesbian like Toklas, worked for the regime as a propagandist. No one can say for certain, but they were more than cared for and given everything they needed (ration coupons for meat and butter) to survive the harsh winter months. Toklas even said, ‘The occupation wasn’t so bad,’ they were ‘some of the happiest years of her life.’ She spoke of getting food from some of her friends in the resistance, leading many to believe that the two women did what they had to do to survive.
I make no judgment; I am simply an entertained and fascinated observer and recipe lover. Before Toklas’ cookbook, which richly details the French mentality toward eating and how deeply their beliefs and traditions are observed through food, I had only read Julia Child’s The Art of French Cooking. Her beef bourguignon recipe is the backdrop for my mushroom bourguignon, which isone of my favorites! I remember the first time I made it; the aroma filled my kitchen, and I was transported to the French countryside.
When I stumbled upon Ms. Toklas’s recipe for Oeufs Fracais Picaba and she cheekily instructed the reader to quote, “Pour the eggs into a saucepan—yes, a saucepan, no, not a frying pan,” it was a moment of pure amusement! Her book was a treasure trove of wit and wisdom, and I eagerly turned the pages.
The book also made me hungry, and no, not for mutton. I craved the rich and savory flavors associated with Cuisine Française, the thick, hardy bread, and the ‘amalgamation’ of flavors she spoke of in her book. The concept of ‘amalgamation’ in French cuisine is about the harmonious blending of different flavors and ingredients to create a unique and delightful taste.
The French were never one for substitutions; they wouldn’t use lamb if they didn’t have mutton for a mutton recipe. They are strict observers of tradition and refuse to substitute or sacrifice an ingredient for necessity or simplicity’s sake.
But let’s be honest—this isn’t 1920s France, and I’m just a hungry soul! So, I decided to whip up a dish inspired by Toklas’s book, possibly making her turn over in her grave. Starting with a petit French baguette, I marinated mashed avocado in lime juice and salt to create a creamy base (in place of pâté) for my spicy Herbs de Provence BBQ tofu.
A take on a banh mi, a Vietnamese sandwich that originated during the French colonial period in Vietnam and is a fusion of French and Vietnamese culinary traditions, I decided to buck the French tradition of convention and go renegade.
The Herbs de Provence mixed with dijon mustard, garlic, molasses, tomato paste, and red wine vinegar is reminiscent of a Poulet au Vinaigre, but instead of chicken, I used tofu. I topped the sandwich with cucumber marinated in red wine vinegar and salt, petits épinards (baby spinach), and a remoulade, or spicy French mayo. “Twas delicious!
By the way, I’m back on Instagram under @chefsteph_stl and am grateful for the four-month break. Social media and I have never really gotten along, but this time, I’m going to post on my own terms. It will be a mix of all things: food, music, travel, and philosophy!
A fusion of cultures, this French-inspired sandwich is a cross between a Vietnamese bahn mi and a New Orleans-style po boy. The flavors meld together wonderfully and create a super hearty and delicous sandwich!
Ingredients
Scale
For the BBQ Tofu:
400g (14oz) extra-firm tofu, drained
1 Tbsp tomato purée
1 Tbsp Dijon Mustard
2 tbsp hoisin sauce
2 tbsp maple syrup
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
2 tbsp soy sauce, tamari, or liquid aminos
2 tsp sesame oil
1/2 tsp paprika
1/8 tsp Herbs de Provence
1/8 tsp each salt + pepper
Sandwich:
1/3 cucumber, sliced
1 lime, juice only
1 avocado
Remoulade:
2 tsp Sriracha or tabasco sauce
3 tbsp vegan mayonnaise
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 tsp vegan Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. Cajun seasoning mix
2 Tbsp fresh parsley, minced
2 demi baguettes, sliced lengthwise, and lightly toasted
2 handfuls of baby spinach
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 425°F and line a baking tray with parchment paper so it covers the sides.
Slice the tofu into 4 rectangular pieces. Score each piece in a criss-cross pattern, then transfer them to the baking tray.
Combine the tomato paste, Dijon, hoisin sauce, maple syrup, soy sauce, garlic cloves, red wine vinegar, sesame oil, spices, salt, freshly ground black pepper, and 2 Tbsp of water in a bowl. Then, pour the sauce over the tofu pieces and use a spoon to push it into the grooves.
Bake the tofu for 15 minutes. Then, spoon the sauce collected in the tray over the top of the tofu and bake for a further 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, add the sliced cucumber to a bowl with the juice from half of the lime and a small pinch of salt and pepper. Mix, then leave to one side to pickle.
Slice the avocado in half, remove the stone, and scoop the flesh into a bowl. Add the juice from the remaining half of the lime and mash until smooth.
Next, combine Sriarcha, mayonnaise, lemon juice, Worchestershire sauce, Cajun seasoning, and parsley in a bowl.
When you’re ready to build the sandwiches, slice the baguettes in half lengthwise and lightly toast. Spoon the mashed avocado across the bottom halves, then top with the spinach leaves, tofu, and cucumber, and add remoulade to the top halves of the baguettes.
I love to read as much as I love to write. The eloquence of the written word has consistently captivated and consumed me, but it rarely eluded me—until I read Gertrude Stein. I have a minor in philosophy, and let’s say reading Descartes or Kierkegaard is more straightforward than reading Stein. Like the great treatises, her works require intense examination, patience, reflection, and a willingness to grapple with complex ideas and arguments rather than simply absorbing the traditional narrative form.
Not that there’s anything wrong with the latter. Ms. Stein’s Lost Generation contemporaries wrote some of my favorite books. Hemmingway, Elliot, Fitzgerald, and Steinbeck were gifted writers whose works will undoubtedly stand the test of time. Their writings, each unique in style and content, continue to captivate readers and inspire new generations of writers.
Although some argue Steinbeck’s writing was more grounded in realism and social commentary than the Parisian expatriates’ experimental and modernist styles, Steinbeck’s novel The Red Pony is still one of my favorite books. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by St. Louis native T.S. Eliot is one of my favorite poems. But, alas, I digress.
While Hemmingway’s writing is direct, Stein’s work is multi-layered and open to interpretation. Like her dear friend Pablo Picasso, who deconstructed and reassembled objects from multiple perspectives, Stein uses simple words and everyday language, arranging them in a way that makes them almost unrecognizable.
As is my habit with art that I admire, I often delve into the artists’ lives to understand their work better. During one of these explorations, I stumbled upon a significant figure in Gertrude Stein’s life, Alice B. Toklas. Perhaps it was Alice who helped me understand Stein best.
Alice was more than just a figure in Stein’s life. She was her confidant, lover, cook, secretary, muse, editor, critic, and general organizer, chiefly living in the shadows (thanks, Wikipedia). Behind every great woman is another great woman. Alice, it turns out, wrote a cookbook and the very first recipe for pot brownies. Yep. While I may be wrong, cannabis makes Stein’s writing style make much more sense.
“Haschich Fudge” was printed in The Alice B. Toklas Cook Book in 1954. Of course, this wasn’t Toklas’s recipe—it was sent to her by a friend, the artist Brion Gysin, who lived in Morocco. (You may not recognize the name, but he’s a literary celebrity in his own right or should be: Gysin invented the cut-up method, which William S. Burroughs made famous.) But that is a story for another time.
Alice B. Toklas and Gertrude Stein Via: The New Yorker
Publishers left the risqué recipe out of the US publication; the 50s weren’t ready for her recipe or her pot pals. Eventually, in the early 1960s, a second edition, including the recipe, was published for US consumption, and hippie culture crowned their queen. Hence, the 1968 Peter Sellers movie I Love You, Alice B. Toklas.
I love this movie for so many reasons. The film’s exploration of racism, culturalism, religion, traditional norms, and how superficial facades of convention fade after having a few brownies is a nostalgic reflection of the 1960s culture.
Whether it was a traditional family or a group of stoned-out communal hippies, Sellers realized each group had their own expectations. Are you square, or are you hip? In the end, it turns out it was all the same thing.
Finally, at the movie’s end, Sellers’ character, Harold Fine, decides that the constraints of each of those two worlds were not a world he was comfortable in. However, once cannabis opened the door in his mind, he realized he didn’t have to settle for the confines of either. So, he seeks to find a third life—one that combines the relevant elements of the previous two existences, sheds the unyielding expectations of everyone, and sets out to find his own path. Like Stein’s work, the movie is fantastic and open to interpretation.
I Love You, Alice B. Toklas (1968) Photo Via: Turner Classic Movies
So, Tolkas’s recipe calls for stoned dates, which made me laugh out loud! Stoned simply means removing the seed (or stone) from the dates. While I recommend chopping and dicing first, feel free to fire one up and blow some smoke their way. The original brownies recipe doesn’t do much in the way of “getting you high,” like the more modern versions using canna-oil. You see, THC needs a fat molecule to dissolve and release from its plant, so we infuse it into oil.
However, overheating this mixture will cause the THC to evaporate, and all your efforts will have been for nothing. So, please repeat after me, I shall not let my oil boil! I tried to make a recipe that was as close to Toklas’s. It’s raw vegan (okay, mostly raw) and uses either oats or hemp seeds, though I prefer the texture of oats. Before making this recipe, please read the Description and disclaimer in the Notes section!
With respect to dosing, if you have one, use a ruler to cut the brownies. Were there no weed involved, this would be embarrassingly fussy. But there is weed involved! Carefully cut pieces mean reliable dosing, for cannabis with 20% THC, an 8×8″ pan cut into 12 pieces shakes out to about 8⅓ milligrams THC per piece.
This is right for many, but some prefer less, and others want more. You do you. For a smaller dose, cut 16 pieces for about 6¼ mg THC per piece. For a larger dose, cut 9 pieces for about 11 mg THC per piece. If this is your first time trying an edible, go small—you can even cut 32 pieces for 3⅛ mg THC per piece. Resist the urge to eat more if you’re not feeling anything. The effects can kick in within 30 minutes but might take 2 hours or more.
If you have a decarboxylator, it dramatically helps dispel the smell! Otherwise, know that your kitchen will smell like weed while baking and cooking the oil. I have a decarboxylator but wanted to write a method everyone could use. If you want to cut down on the smell, open the windows and burn some Nag Champa like a true hippie!
Ingredients
Scale
Canna-Coconut Oil:
½ g cannabis flower (I used sativa)
½ cup coconut oil
Brownies:
3/4 cup rolled oats (or hemp seeds)
3/4 cup walnuts
1 cup stoned medjool dates (pit removed)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 heaping tablespoons cacao powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Pinch nutmeg
Pinch coriander (optional)
Pinch of salt
3–4 tablespoons of coconut oil infused with cannabis.
Chopped peanuts
Glaze:
1 tablespoon each of almond butter, maple syrup, and cacao powder
Instructions
Decarboxylate your cannabis.
Place a rack and an oven thermometer in the middle of the oven; preheat to 225° F.
Using your fingers, gently break up ½ g cannabis flower into raisin-size pieces and spread out in an even layer on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Bake, gently tossing every 10 minutes or so to avoid burning, until weed turns brownish green (indicating it has decarboxylated), 10–20 minutes if using old or lower-quality weed, 15–30 minutes for cured high-quality weed, or 45–60 minutes for anything recently harvested and still damp.
Let cool on baking sheet.
To make Canna-Oil:
Grind or break down cannabis. A grinder will break your weed into an even consistency, but you can just as easily use your hands. Keep in mind that anything small enough to fit through a strainer will end up in your finished product, so don’t grind your cannabis into a fine powder.
Heat oil and decarbed cannabis.
Add oil and decarbed cannabis to a double-boiler, slow cooker, or saucepan and simmer on low for 2-3 hours. Make sure the oil temperature stays between 160-200ºF.
Put a mesh strainer or cheesecloth over the oil container and pour the oil/cannabis mixture through it. Do not squeeze it out—this will add more chlorophyll to your oil and make it taste more vegetal. Discard the plant material.
The oil will have a shelf life of at least two months and can be extended with refrigeration.
Label the bottle.
Brownies:
Pulse the oats and walnuts in your food processor until they become a powder. Add the rest of the ingredients and process until they all stick together.
Press into a parchment-lined 8×8 baking dish and put in the fridge to set for a few hours.
Spread on your glaze.
Top with chopped peanuts.
Enjoy!
Notes
DISCLAIMER
Recreational cannabis is not available in all states. State laws impact what dispensaries can and can’t sell to recreational customers and certified patients. Not every type of product, consumption method, dosage form, or potency mentioned on this blog will be permitted in all locations.
You assume full responsibility for using your best judgment when cooking with cannabis and seeking information from an official food safety authority if you are unsure. You must also take care to not physically injure yourself by coming into contact with hot surfaces, sharp blades, and other kitchen hazards. It is your responsibility to review all listed ingredients in a recipe before cooking to ensure that none of the ingredients may cause a potential adverse reaction to anyone eating the food based on recipes featured in this blog post.
This includes allergies, pregnancy-related diet restrictions, etc. Please consult with your medical professional before using any recipe if you have concerns about how you may individually react to the use of any particular recipe or ingredient. By voluntarily creating and using any recipe provided here, you assume the risk of any potential injury that may result.
The author disclaims liability for incidental or consequential damages and assumes no responsibility or liability for any loss or damage suffered by any person as a result of use of the information provided in this blog post. The author assumes or undertakes no liability for any loss or damage suffered as a result of the use of any information found on this Website. From time to time, this Website will publish content with recipes. All such recipes have been tried and used successfully, but results may vary from person to person.
Consult your medical professional before using any recipe if you have concerns about how you may individually react to the use of any particular recipe or ingredient. By voluntarily creating and using any recipe provided here, you assume the risk of any potential injury that may result.
I have developed a habit of watching all the movies nominated for Academy Awards. The Brutalist was surreal, Wicked was thoughtful and empowering, but The Substance was truly eye-opening. I was excited to see Demi Moore in a new film, as it had been a while since I’d seen her in a movie. Her nomination for Best Actress and Golden Globe win for the movie was also fantastic.
Although Demi didn’t win the Oscar (Mikey Madison won for Anora), her portrayal of Elisabeth Sparkle is raw, tragic, and painfully beautiful. The film’s narrative revolves around Elisabeth’s struggle to age in Hollywood while remaining relevant. This struggle is not unique to her or Hollywood but is emblematic of the societal pressures faced by women all over the world. The Substance takes a nose dive into themes surrounding youth, beauty, self-esteem, and self-loathing. This movie still haunts me. My friend Monica and I have talked about it for weeks.
The Substance Coralie Fargeat (2024) – The Shining Stanley Kubrick (1980) The Shining Stanley Kubrick (1980) – The Substance Coralie Fargeat (2024)
The Substance had so many Easter eggs that pointing them out would take days. Still, the giant photographs of Elisabeth in the hallway with a carpet that resembles Kubrick’s The Shining says everything without saying a word. Other nods include the Black Swan, The Fly, Carrie, and Alien. All refer to a normal person’s slow, maddening transformation into a monster.
For many women, beauty is a commodity bestowed at birth or paid for. When I say “beauty is a commodity,” it means that beauty, particularly female beauty, can be bought, sold, or exchanged for economic value, and baby…sex sells. Don’t get me started on 72-year-old Bill Belichick and his 24-year-old girlfriend.
The film’s powerful critique challenges the traditional notion that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most of the time, it’s men beholding. Meanwhile, women are inundated with beauty products, botox, lip injections, boob jobs, nose jobs, fake hair, fake lashes…the list goes on and on. With its haunting narrative, the movie serves as a powerful critique of the societal beauty standards that often reduce women to nothing more than their physical appearance.
In the movie, Elisabeth is influenced by these standards, wishing to remain young. She takes “the substance,” and then her younger self, Sue, emerges. They must change places every seven days. But soon, Sue wishes to prolong her youthful transformation and begins stealing fluid from Elisabeth to stay young. In doing that, she causes Elisabeth to start rotting. But they can’t survive separately, as Sue soon finds out. She took and took until there was nothing left. The scene where Elisabeth is getting ready for a date made me cry.
The monster at the end shows how and why women go to great lengths to be beautiful. What drives them to pursue beauty turns them into nothing short of monsters—women who deface themselves don’t look human anymore. Seeing Elisabeth wear a printed copy of her old face and smeared lipstick was heart-wrenching. It was a tragic reminder that maybe her old face wasn’t that bad.
The movie’s quote, “Remember, you are one,” starkly reminds her that her young and older selves are the same people. How much of her older beauty was she willing to sacrifice to remain youthful? The Substance is genuinely a work of art. It is existential, graphic, provocative, and, like The Brutalist, brutal.
More importantly, it is a wake-up call for women. We are so much more than what you see on the outside. My mother always says, “Beauty is as beauty does.” We have come so far thanks to the suffragists, feminists, and brave women who have fought for a place for us beyond mopping the kitchen floor up to our necks in diapers or being relegated to working behind the make-up counter at Macy’s.
My sisters, we cannot go backward. There is nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves. Myself, I’m a lipstick feminist, but I will never get fillers, botox, or plastic surgery. Demi’s transformation, her decision to dissolve her fillers and embrace a raw vegan diet, made my heart happy. None of us want to see our bodies break down. Physical decline, vision changes, skin changes, weight gain, hormonal shifts, and many more can be slowed down by exercise and the foods we eat.
A vegan diet, including raw “living” foods, may help slow the aging process at a molecular level, potentially reducing the estimated ages of various organ systems. Raw plant-based foods are rich in antioxidants, which can help protect cells from damage caused by free radicals, a process linked to aging. Vegan diets are naturally lower in inflammatory foods, which can contribute to overall health and potentially reduce signs of aging.
Raw vegan foods’ antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties may contribute to healthier, younger-looking skin. We are what we put into our bodies. And isn’t it better to extract life from plants than from ourselves?
Make the pad Thai sauce. In a small bowl or jar, combine the plant-butter butter, coconut aminos (or tamari/soy sauce), rice vinegar, lime juice, tamarind paste, garlic, ginger, red pepper flakes, salt, and pepper, mixing to combine. Set aside.
Cut off the ends of the zucchini and run through a spiralizer, or buy pre-spiraled zucchini.
Add the shredded carrots, chopped bell peppers, and bean sprouts to a large bowl.
Pour sauce over the veggies and mix well to combine.
Add the cilantro and green onion and mix one more time.
Be careful not to overmix.
Top with some chopped peanuts and more cilantro to serve.
Enjoy!
Notes
After spiralizing, I salt the zucchini very well in a colander and let them sit for about 15 minutes. I give them a quick rinse to remove the salt and dry it on a paper towel. This allows the zucchini’s high water content to drain and keeps the sauce from getting runny.
You don’t have to do this, but if you have leftovers, you may notice the sauce has been watered down and the veggies are not as crispy.
If I could have three different careers, I would choose cooking, writing, and designing in no particular order. Or all three? The joy I felt creating the interior for my mid-century Treehouse was unparalleled. I carefully chose furniture and artwork indicative of the Dutch Modern and Eames eras, pouring my love for design into every detail.
A picture of my “CH07 Shell Chair”.
Charles & Ray Eames Photo via: Wikipedia
The emphasis on abstraction, simplicity, and functionalism in Dutch Modernism has significantly shaped my design choices. I deeply admire the minimalist aesthetic it promotes. Minimalism, as a philosophy, encourages us to focus on what’s important and eliminate distractions, a concept known as simple or intentional living.
The focus on simple designs with minimal decorative elements, clean lines, and open spaces aligns with my design philosophy. I also appreciate Dutch Modernism’s eco-friendly approach. Most furniture pieces are designed with practical use in mind, prioritizing comfort and usability. And some…just look really cool.
“Manner of Gerrit Reitveld” Steltman Chair-1970’s Dutch Modern
Garret Rietveld, a Dutch architect and furniture designer, led the De Stijl art movement. This movement, which was a reaction to World War I, was based on the hope that art could lead to social and spiritual renewal. We could use some of that today, eh?
Many people, including Charles and Ray Eames, two of my favorite designers, were notably influenced by the Dutch Modern De Stijl, or “The Style” movement. Born in St. Louis, Missouri, designer and architect Charles Eeams made groundbreaking contributions to the world of architecture, furniture design, industrial design, manufacturing, and the photographic arts. Charles and Ray met at Cranbrook Academy of Art, where Charles taught design and Ray was a student. His wife Ray had previously studied with the venerable and incredibly influential painter and teacher Hans Hofmann. I could do a whole post on Hofmann (and I may).
Influenced by cubism, Hofmann (right) became friends with Picasso, Georges Braque, and Henri Matisse in Paris. Photo Via: WikiArt
Charles Eames, a true visionary and ardent admirer of Frank Lloyd Wright, coined the phrase, “The details are in the details.” His influence on my life’s philosophy is profound. Can I get an amen?
To me, this is not just a saying but a way of life that permeates everything I do, reflecting my passion and commitment to what I care about. When I embark on a project, whether cooking, writing, or designing, I invest my heart and soul into it. I believe that the essence of anything remarkable lies in the details, and I always strive to bring this depth and thoughtfulness to my work.
So, like a proper design nerd, I eagerly awaited Pantone’s announcement of the color of the year. Pantone, a company that sets the color trends for industries such as fashion, design, and manufacturing, never fails to surprise. And this year, they did not disappoint with their choice of the most exquisite shade of brown, ‘Mocha Mousse.’ And I love it!
In general, I am not one for sweets. You’ll likely notice that I have a few desserts listed, but not many. I have more of a savory palate. This recipe is a rare exception. The creamy mousse and the light, airy texture of the cake make you almost feel like you’re eating a cloud. I like this recipe as it’s a take on a classic tiramisu. Adding the slightly bitter espresso cuts some of the sweetness that tends to be too much for someone like me.
I thought about making a gluten-free version, but the gluten is needed to keep the cake moist and fluffy. This cake is all about texture. It is 100% vegan and uses no eggs, which is kind of a big deal in baking. There are a lot of good dairy substitutes, but eggs are not as easy. I haven’t tried JustEgg, but if anyone does, reach out and let me know your thoughts.
This cake uses applesauce as a substitute for eggs. Plain yogurt works; too-1/2 cup of yogurt is the equivalent of 2 eggs and the equivalent of the 2/3 cups of applesauce in this recipe. For the mousse, I used Navitas cocao powder. It’s good quality and Regenerative Organic certified, meaning it meets the world’s highest standard for organic agriculture with stringent requirements for soil, animal welfare, and social fairness. And you can pretty much find it anywhere. For the plant-based cream, I used Country Crock Plant Cream. Right now, they have a $1.50 off coupon on their website.
For the top of the cake, since it’s a mocha espresso after all, I thought it would be fun to do a take on a mocha latte using white royal icing and pipe a little latte art. This is certainly not necessary, but it made for a pretty picture. If you are adventurous and ambitious enough, this is a cute and simple YouTube video about doing something like this. (FYI, I used a chopstick instead of toothpicks to draw the design.) Otherwise, I might recommend shaving a bar of vegan chocolate over the top or simply dusting cocoa on the top with a fine mesh sieve.
This recipe is for a 2-layer cake. It’s a bit of work but well worth it! You can decorate with cocao nibs, chocolate sprinkles, or dust with cocao powder.
Ingredients
Scale
2 cups (260g) all-purpose flour
3/4 cup (60g) cocao powder
1 ½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
1 1/2 cups (300g) granulated sugar
2/3 cup (170g) unsweetened apple sauce
2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup oil + 2 tbsp (115g)
1 cup (245g) plant-based milk
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
3/4 cup hot water
1 tsp instant espresso powder
Vegan Chocolate Mousse:
1/2cupvegan semi-sweet chocolate
1cupraw cashewssoaked for at least 15 minutes in hot water
15ouncecan full-fat coconut milk
2tablespoonscocoa powder
1/4teaspoonvanilla extract
1/3cupsugar
1/4teaspoonsalt
1tablespooncoffee from above
Chocolate Ganache:
6ozgood quality dark chopped chocolate (vegan)
1cupfull-fat coconut milk (firm, creamy part only, at room temperature)
Instructions
Chocolate 2 -layer cake:
Preheat the oven to 350F and spray (2) 8″ cake pans with nonstick spray and line the bottoms with parchment paper.
Mix together the milk and vinegar and set aside to curdle (making a vegan buttermilk).
Whisk together the flour, cocao powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl and set aside.
In a large bowl, either whisking by hand or with an electric mixer, combine the sugar, apple sauce, oil, and vanilla.
On the side, mix together the hot water and espresso powder. Set aside.
To the sugar mixture, alternate adding the milk and dry ingredients, starting and ending with the dry ingredients. Stop and scrape down the bowl about halfway through.
Once that’s smooth, slowly mix in the hot espresso. Now the batter will be very thin.
Pour the batter into the cake pans and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick in the center comes out clean.
Allow the cakes to cool in the pans for 20 minutes, then remove from the pans and let them completely cool at room temperature before frosting. To speed up this process, you can pop them into the fridge.
Chocolate Mousse:
Add the chocolate to a skillet with about 1/4 cup of the coconut milk over medium heat and mix well. Once the milk starts boiling, the chocolate will start melting. Switch off the heat.
Continue to mix until the chocolate is completely smooth. You can also microwave the chocolate in bursts of 30 seconds. Once it starts to melt on the edges, whisk well until all of the chocolate is melted.
Add the cashews, remaining coconut milk, cocao powder, vanilla, sugar, salt, and melted chocolate to a blender and a tablespoon of the coffee, then blend. Blend it for one minute, then let the blender sit for 5 to 10 minutes so the cashews can soak more moisture. Blend again for 30 seconds. Then, wait a minute, blend again for 30 seconds, and repeat until the mixture is smooth.
Refrigerate for 15 minutes to thicken.
Taste and adjust the sweetness and flavor if you like. You can add more cocao powder, coffee, vanilla, or sugar and blend well after adding them.
Ganache:
Place a bowl over a small saucepan of simmering water (a double boiler). Add chocolate and allow to melt, stirring frequently. (Alternatively, you can melt the chocolate in a small bowl in the microwave.)
Remove bowl from heat, and allow chocolate to cool slightly.
Add room-temperature thick coconut milk and allow the mixture to sit for a minute for the temperatures to assimilate.
Stir or whisk gently to combine cream and chocolate.
Use immediately as a drizzle over cake.
Assemble:
Only frost the cake once the layers have completely cooled.
Spread about 1 cup of mousse between each cake layer (a small offset spatula is my favorite tool). Once all layers are stacked, place the naked cake in the fridge to set. Otherwise, the cake will slide around when trying to frost the sides. Chill for 20 minutes.
Once firm, remove the cake and plop the mousse on top of it (yes, all of it). Spread it out towards the sides and let it hang over the edges. Spread that overhang down the sides to the bottom of the cake. The sides don’t have to be perfect, but make sure the cake is completely covered.
Use your offset spatula or a spoon to create the swoops and swirls around the cake. Sprinkle with your favorite toppings.
Enjoy!
Notes
Sifting flour and cocao powder breaks down lumps and aerates the ingredients, ensuring a lighter, more consistent texture and an easier batter.
I just watched the Oscar-nominated movie The Brutalist. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but I found it raw, bold, and confounding. With its stark and powerful visuals, the cinematography alone makes it worth watching. The film follows the journey of an acclaimed Hungarian architect (Adrian Brody) who had studied at Bauhaus before the war, survived the horrors of the Dachau death camp, and ended up in America.
Bauhaus Photo via: Wikipedia
The movie, with its heart-wrenching and, at times, painful narrative, uncovers the unexpected beauty of brutalist architecture. As a lover of art and architecture, I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. It opened my eyes to the wonderment of human resilience and the unique allure of Brutalism, a form of architecture with which I was slightly unfamiliar. The film stirred me and transformed my understanding and appreciation of this minimalist aesthetic.
Brutalism is a unique architectural style rooted in the philosophies of modern architecture. It champions the truth of materials, which is achieved by their “raw” expression. Béton brut, or raw concrete, is not about concrete but more about the way of using concrete. While many people do not care for the form (you either love it or hate it), I was deeply engaged, browsing through various pictures of Brutalist architecture. Each resonated with me on some level, fueling my passion for this unique architectural style.
As a lover of mid-century everything, I was thrilled to visit the Guggenheim a year or so ago. The Guggenheim is a unique embodiment of Brutalism, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Wright, my most beloved architect, has left an indelible mark with his organic architecture. His use of low-pitched roofs, horizontal lines, large open floor plans, and natural materials like wood and stone sets him apart. The Guggenheim, one of his most ambitious projects, is a testament to his genius. It’s a pity he didn’t live to see its completion.
Wright’s only other Brutalist design is Fallingwater, which might be the most beautiful home ever built. Wright designed the house to rise above the waterfall it was built on. The house’s cantilever terraces blend with with rock formations, and the floors and roofs cantilever over the waterfall. It’s sublime!
Fallingwater Photo via: Wikipedia
Another favorite example is Les Choux de Créteil, a creation of Gérard Grandval, which was completed in 1974. It is a sight to behold. This group of 10 buildings, each nearly 69 feet high, is surrounded by rounded petal-shaped balconies, which gave it the nickname “choux,” meaning cabbage.
Les Choux de Créteil- Paris Photo via: WSJ
The balconies were initially intended to be used as gardens filled with ornamental plants and trees, creating a more ‘green’ appearance that would change with the seasons. I loved this idea and was greatly disappointed when I learned that part of the project was never completed. It’s a feeling many of us can relate to when a vision is left unfinished: a sense of disappointment and longing for what could have been. Who knows, maybe one day, Grandval’s vision will be complete.
I guess it should come as no surprise that this recipe is all about cabbage! This simple, understated choux is slightly seared and then braised until fork tender. I sauteed red bell pepper, a shallot, carrots, and garlic until browned somewhat. Then, I added some tomato paste, stock, salt, and pepper. I finished the broth by blitzing it in a blender and adding it to the pan with parmesan, lime juice, and zest. Because of the citrus in the sauce, I removed it from the heat and added the vegan cream.
This step is crucial so the sauce doesn’t curdle. You can make your own or buy a pre-made plant-based whipping cream. I added the cabbage to the sauce and topped it with a simple tomato salsa. Combining these flavors may seem unusual, but trust me, it’s a culinary adventure that all comes together nicely. I like a salsa with some heat, but you do you!
Sear the cabbage: Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a cast iron pan. Sear cabbage wedges flat-side down for 5-6 minutes, flip, and sear the other side for 3-4 minutes. Set aside.
Add 1 tbsp olive oil to the same pan. Sauté the shallot, carrot, bell pepper, salt, and pepper for 3-5 minutes.
Stir in tomato paste and garlic. Add fennel, a pinch of salt, and pepper, and cook for 30 seconds.
Pour in vegetable stock, add bay leaves, and return cabbage to the pan. Cover and braise in the oven for 20 minutes.
Remove the lid, raise the temperature to 425°F (220°C), and cook for an additional 15-20 minutes.
Fennel pan sauce:
Remove the cabbage, carefully add the stock and vegetables to a blender, add parmesan, and blend the sauce until smooth—taste for seasoning. Keep warm.
Cashew cream:
Blend cashews and water until smooth.
Add lime juice and zest.
Salt and Pepper to taste.
To serve, divide the fennel sauce between 4 bowls. Add cabbage and top with cashew cream and tomato salsa.
Enjoy!
Notes
You can make your salsa or use your favorite store-bought. I heated my salsa on the stove top before serving.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in the kitchen lately. When I sent my dear friend Monica a Miles Davis song, she immediately responded, ‘Are you cooking?’ It’s a joy to be understood so well by a friend. The influence of the work of the great artists and musicians I’ve been immersing myself in is palpable, sparking inspiration and creativity. Like an artist in their studio, I’ve found myself drawn to the kitchen. Cooking, in its many forms, has become more than a pastime. It’s a profoundly transformative experience; like an artist using color, texture, and form to create a painting, a chef uses ingredients, flavors, and presentation to craft a culinary masterpiece.
Recently, I completed a book on the Spanish painter Pablo Picasso’s Blue Period (1901–04). The book delved into how the young Picasso, born in Málaga but moved to Barcelona at 14, crafted a unique style and a strong artistic identity. He adapted the artistic lessons of fin-de-siècle Paris to the social and political climate of an economically struggling Barcelona. Despite his controversial reputation, which is a result of his unconventional artistic techniques and personal life, I’m struck by his passion and the profound impact of his art on the human experience.
The Blue Room, Pablo Picasso (1901) Photo via: Wiki Art
Femme assise (Melancholy Woman) 1902-03 Photo Via: WIki Art
Picasso’s Blue Period is a series of monochromatic events and a deeply personal journey into the universal consciousness of pain. Inspired by the suicide of his close friend, Carlos Casagemas, these paintings resonate with me on a deeply profound level. They carry a somber mood focusing on human suffering, sadness, poverty, and social isolation. They seem rather apt for these trying times.
The ‘blue’ theme, reminiscent of Miles Davis’s Kind of Blue, seems to echo a sense of loss and mourning that I’ve felt in my own life recently. It’s as if Picasso’s brushstrokes and the aching and evocative loneliness of Miles’s trumpet have captured my experiences, creating a shared connection through their art. I understand all too well how art and music, with their transformative power, can alter one’s mood, change perceptions, and inspire change.
Chef Steph
Pepper Rain
Picasso and Davis, with their bold and unconventional styles, radically deconstructed traditional perspectives of both art and music. Comparable to Picasso, Miles was at the forefront of every cutting-edge change in his art. Both are known for their bold and daring creative risks, pushing the boundaries of their work to excess. Picasso, estimated to have created around 50,000 art pieces, left a monumental legacy and often went far beyond what was considered socially acceptable (see his piece “Guernica”). Both men were very charismatic and complex, and each had a ferocious temper, which reminded me of the Italian word arrabbiata. Arrabbiata means ‘angry’ or ‘get fired up’ in Italian.
Arrabbiata Pasta Desconstructed
In the Romanesco dialect, the adjective arrabbiato denotes a characteristic of being pushed to excess. Excess in art refers to using exaggerated or extravagant elements in an artwork. It involves going beyond the usual or expected boundaries regarding quantity, size, color, texture, or any other artistic element.
Just as their art was a bold departure from the norm, this spicy recipe is a daring departure from traditional Italian cuisine. It incorporates both expected and bold flavors, such as the intensely concentrated sweet and savory flavor of slow-roasted tomatoes and garlic paired with rich, slightly nutty Parmesan, but also the sharp, pungent, biting kick of red pepper flakes. Despite these complex flavors, it comes together quickly and easily, making it a perfect choice for a busy weeknight. Paired with a dry Pinot Noir like my new favorite central coast Poppy Pinot Noir Reserve, this dish is genuinely la comida como arte.
It’s a spectacular dish and so easy. I believe the key is to find fresh organic garlic. I added a whole head of garlic to some tin foil, drizzled it in olive oil, and slowly roasted it with two pints of fresh cherry tomatoes.
Ingredients
Scale
Pasta of choice, such as rigatoni, spaghetti, or penne
Two pints of cherry tomatoes
2 1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
2 tsp fennel seed, chopped
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
Head of garlic
2 cups fresh organic spinach
1 cup fresh vegan ricotta cheese (I used Kite Hill)
1/2 cup grated vegan parmesan
1/4 cupolive oil
1tablespoonwhite sugar
1tablespoonlemon juice
Salt and pepper
1teaspooncrushed red pepper flakes
Instructions
Preheat oven to 425°F.
In a medium bowl, toss cherry tomatoes, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, fennel seed, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper.
Cut the top off the garlic to expose the cloves inside. Place a garlic head, cut side up, in the center of a foil square. Drizzle garlic with olive oil, then season with salt and pepper. Bring the foil sides up to enclose the garlic, creating a sealed packet.
Place tomatoes and garlic in preheated oven and roast for 30-35 minutes, tossing tomatoes halfway through the cooking time. Roast until tomatoes are tender and beginning to brown.
After tossing the tomatoes halfway through cooking time, cook pasta according to package directions. Drain and set aside, saving 1 cup of pasta cooking water.
When the tomatoes and garlic are done, remove the garlic from the foil and squeeze the garlic cloves from the garlic paper. Add the garlic and tomatoes to the bowl of a food processor with spinach, vegan ricotta, grated parmesan, olive oil, white sugar, lemon juice, and tsp each salt/pepper.
Process into a smooth sauce. If the mixture is too thick, add one cup of pasta water, one tablespoon at a time, until the desired consistency is achieved.
Add arrabbiata sauce to drained pasta. Over medium heat, stir in red pepper flakes and taste for seasoning.
As I write this post, I’m reminded of the phrase, “Be Careful What You Wish For.” We’ve had another 4 inches of snow this week, and I’m starting to feel a bit stir-crazy. This year, we’ve had a whopping 25 inches of snow and subzero temperatures. While I adore the beauty of snow, I’m beginning to long for a change. Perhaps a change of scenery, like mountains and skis, would rekindle my love for it. I’m all about being warm and cozy by the fireplace, but it’s becoming a bit overwhelming.
Speaking of warm and cozy, I’ve recently stumbled upon a new musical love that has added a delightful twist to my winter cooking sessions. The joy of discovering Miles Davis and his album Kind of Blue has been a revelation, adding a new dimension to my winter days. This album sets the perfect ambiance, transforming the comforting atmosphere of my kitchen. I fell into a rabbit hole, starting with a documentary called Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool and then a two-part podcast about the Juliard student, which took me on a deep dive into the world of modal Jazz. Davis used his trumpet to emulate the sound of the human voice by cutting out vibrato, turning his Jazz into a smoother and more emotional form of music.
Photo via: Wikipedia
I’ve long loved John Coltrane, who plays the tenor saxophone on the album. I bought A John Coltrane Retrospective: The Impulse Years in college. His version of Sentimental Mood with Duke Ellington is one of my favorite pieces of music. But Miles, although I knew who he was, was new to me. Kind of Blue is heralded as one of the greatest jazz albums ever recorded and certainly as Miles’s masterpiece. It’s also the best-selling Jazz album of all time. Recorded in 1959, Kind of Blue is a landmark in jazz history, known for its innovative modal jazz style and the legendary lineup of musicians like Coltrane and Julian Adderly. Blue in Green is my favorite song on the album, and it evokes the melancholy of a long winter’s night, eliciting a certain longing for something you can’t quite put a finger on.
While I’m yearning for sunshine and warm weather, I’m also embracing that this is my favorite time of year to cook. I adore winter cooking, especially comfort foods. And I can’t wait to share this unique cauliflower recipe with you; it’s a delightful twist on a classic pasta dish that wraps me in a warm and cozy embrace! The cauliflower is roasted to perfection, creating a hearty texture that pairs beautifully with the rich flavors of the sorghum pesto. This unexpected combination is a perfect match for a cold winter’s night.
There is a clear connection between mood and food, and one of the best things you can do to help your immune system and boost your mood is to add foods high in vitamin C. This recipe contains Cavolo Nero, or Italian Kale, sometimes called Tuscan or lacinato (las-i-na-to). It’s curly kale’s talk, dark and handsome cousin. One serving (one cup) contains more than a day’s vitamin A requirement, essential for eye health and immune function. It contains vitamins K, C, B6, manganese, copper, calcium, and magnesium. One cup of cooked kale contains 1000% more vitamin C than one cup of cooked spinach! This cauliflower recipe is delicious and a powerhouse of nutrients, ensuring you’re well cared for during the winter.
For the pesto, I used walnuts instead of traditional pine nuts. Walnuts are great for cognitive function (memory, attention, and language) and can also boost mood. Not to mention, they’re a whole lot cheaper than pine nuts. I keep them in my freezer and grab a handful when I need a little afternoon snack.
As always, I’m eager to hear how you like it. I have a “Jazz, Baby” playlist on Spotify if you’re a Jazz enthusiast like me. If you do a profile search on Spotify, my name is Spinning Wheel. I’d love to hear your thoughts and recommendations, so don’t hesitate to share them.
It’s a super easy recipe loaded with flavor! I used Sorghum because I wanted a gluten-free grain, but feel free to use Pearl Barley or any grain of choice.
Ingredients
Scale
1 medium cauliflower, cut into small florets
1 1/2 tsp paprika
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp fresh cracked pepper
juice 1/2 lemon
1 cup rinsed sorghum
1 bunch Tuscan kale, leaves pulled from the stalk and roughly torn
A handful of shelled walnuts, about 50g/2oz
1–2 cloves of garlic minced
30g/1 oz freshly grated vegan Parmigiano
Olive oil (quality)
Salt & pepper
Red pepper flakes
Instructions
Sorghum:
Cook according to package directions. Make this first, as it takes the longest to cook.
Pesto:
While the sorghum is cooking, strip the kale leaves off their thick stems and blanch them in boiling water for about 3 minutes. (Do not discard water)
Drain the kale leaves in a colander over a bowl, saving the water. Run the colander under ice-cold water. Pat the leaves dry and roughly chop.
Add the blanched kale leaves, walnuts, garlic, and a small pinch of salt to the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until you have a rough paste.
Drizzle in enough olive oil while the processor runs to produce a smooth and dense paste. (about 1/2 cup of oil).
Add pesto to a small mixing bowl. Mix in the grated parmesan cheese—taste for seasoning.
If needed, thin it out with some kale cooking water, a tablespoon at a time, until you have a very thick but pourable mixture.
Cauliflower:
Prepare cauliflower by placing a baking sheet in the center oven rack and preheating oven to 450ºF.
Cut the cauliflower into small florets and add to a large bowl. Toss with olive oil, paprika, salt, and black pepper.
Carefully arrange cauliflower out onto the preheated baking sheet in a single layer, avoiding overcrowding.
Roast for 20 to 25 minutes, turning pieces halfway through, until lightly charred and tender.
Remove from oven and add to a mixing bowl.
Squeeze or drizzle lemon juice over the cauliflower.
Add Cavolo Nero pesto to sorghum and mix well.
Top sorghum pesto with roasted cauliflower, shaved Parmesan cheese, crushed walnuts, and red pepper flakes (to taste).
Enjoy!
Notes
I love the addition of the red pepper flakes. If you don’t like the dried flakes’ heat, feel free to leave them off.
Greetings! I hope this post finds you well. Thanks to some good old-fashioned relaxation, I feel much better! I am grateful to have spent much time wintering here at Innsbrook. I love peace away from the hustle of everyday life. Winter is undoubtedly a time of introspection and retreat, slowing down and going inward. I am also profoundly delighted to be off social media. The respite from that chaotic, soulless world has been a blessing.
I have connected with some good girlfriends, sharing books, art, and movies. I have immersed myself in art by watching close to 30 hours of art documentaries, including The Andy Warhol Diaries (highly recommend), two documentaries about Jean-Michel Basquiat (I adore him), Banksy, Mark Rothko, Bob Ross, and Andrew and Jamie Wyeth (Jamie is another artist I dearly love). These documentaries have given me a deeper understanding of the artists and their work, and I’m excited to sharpen my knowledge of one of my favorite mediums. The most exciting part was that I even purchased my first Basquiat, one of his early SAMO pieces done on masonite, which was a dream come true for me.
I’ve joined the St. Louis Art Museum and am proud to call myself a true art patron. My friend Monica and I anticipate visiting Art in Bloom in two weeks. Recently, I’ve been on a journey of discovery, immersing myself in new art forms. I’ve taken up the Japanese art of Ikebana, a minimalist approach to flower arranging that has truly captivated me. The three principles of Ikebana are simplicity, asymmetry, and balance. The ephemeral compositions are breathtaking, and their possibilities are endless.
I’m thrilled to share this newfound inspiration with you. In these moments of sharing our personal experiences, we truly connect and inspire each other. I hope my journey into the world of art and writing can also bring a sense of connection and inspiration to your life. I may even start a blog on various art forms.
In April, Monica and I will see Roaring: Art, Fashion, and the Automobile in France, 1918-1939. The Deco period in France was one of the most interesting and creative periods in modern times. With the likes of Picasso, Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, Woolf, Matisse, and Gertrude Stein, France experienced a modern-day Renaissance, to be sure! I’m eagerly looking forward to this exhibition and the opportunity to immerse myself in the art and culture of that era.
I just finished my fourth round of edits on my novel and am happy to say it’s finally done. Although, I believe it was Da Vinci who said, “Art is never finished, only abandoned.” And after eight years of writing, I would agree. Writing has always been my gift, my sanctuary. It’s where I can lose myself, create life, and let my imagination run wild. The joy I find in writing is unparalleled, and I wish to share it with you, even if it’s just in this space for now, with a few recipes sprinkled in. My writing process is a journey of discovery and creativity, and I’m excited to share this part of my life with you to make you feel connected and inspired.
Speaking of recipes, this one, Pan-Seared Fennel with Garlicky Butterbeans, is a keeper. It’s perfect for winter and comes together quickly, which can be a gift when you don’t feel much like cooking. Roasted fennel has a sweet, slightly caramelized aroma with distinct notes of licorice or anise. If you have difficulty finding “fennel” in the grocery store, ask if they have anise. Like black licorice, fennel has a milder, more mellow quality when roasted.
I seasoned the quartered fennel with fresh thyme and dried fennel seeds. The butterbeans were sauteed with shallots, garlic, and minced fennel fronds. Once warmed through, I pureed about 2/3 of the beans with olive oil, salt, and pepper. That made a lovely base for my fennel. I topped it with whole butterbeans, fresh parsley, and fennel fronds. It was, in a word, mouthwatering! I hope you enjoy it.
2 medium fennel, each cut lengthways into 6–8 wedges, with the herb/ frond finely chopped
2 (14 oz.) cans butterbeans, drained and rinsed
2 shallots, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp fresh thyme leaves
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon lemon zest & juice of half a lemon (2-3 teaspoons)
Olive oil
Salt and Pepper
Instructions
Saute the shallots in 2 tablespoons of oil in a medium pan until softened. Stir in the garlic and fennel seeds. Cook out for 2-3 mins, then stir in the beans. Keep stirring until the beans are very tender. Add water if necessary to keep the pan from drying. Stir in the lemon juice and zest.
Blend two-thirds of the bean mixture until smooth. Add 1-2 tablespoons of olive oil and scrape down the sides of the food processor to help it blend. Stir the fennel fronds into the remaining beans. Season both bean mixtures with salt and pepper to taste.
Meanwhile, place a little oil in a cast iron pan over medium heat. Add the fennel, brown on one side, then turn. Reduce the heat to low, and add the thyme, butter, and salt. Cover and cook over low heat until the fennel is entirely tender
Spread the bean purée over a serving plate and top with the fennel, the remaining beans, and fennel fronds.
Enjoy!
Notes
I covered my fennel to allow the steam to soften them up a bit.
Greeting friends! I hope this day finds you doing well. At least better than I am, anyway (insert sad emoji). I am currently on day 6 of having contracted Influenza A. I’ve never had the flu before, and let me tell you, it’s a whole new experience. The first two days, I could barely get out of bed. I’m sure if you’ve had it yourself, you feel me.
So, I felt a bit off throughout the day, and I knew something was coming. And when the flu hit, it hit hard. It was no surprise when my husband piled three blankets on me that evening, and I still couldn’t get warm. He even tried to warm my socks by the fireplace, a gesture that warmed my heart more than my toes. Sadly, I still couldn’t get warm. I was downright shivering, and it had me wondering why.
Viruses and bacteria seem to multiply poorly when our temperature rises above our normal 98.6°F. When our immune system senses an illness, its need to increase its core temperature causes the muscles in the body to contract and relax rapidly to create heat. This is what causes shivering or chills. It’s also why we develop a fever. Heat destroys pathogens. I’m pretty reticent when taking anything to bring a fever down, as I believe it’s the body’s natural defense mechanism. This is not medical advice, and when a fever reaches 103°F. I go to the doctor. In this case, I just rested; when I felt like it, I ate what I craved.
Just as I could sense the onset of illness, I also knew what my body needed to recover. Our bodies often know what they need if we’d only listen. So, when I finally started feeling hungry, I had an intense craving for curry. Yep!
Curry is made from ginger, turmeric, alliums like garlic and onion, and a mix of chili peppers. Ginger and turmeric are known for their anti-inflammatory properties and are natural decongestants. Alliums are powerful anti-viral, anti-inflammatory, and immune-boosting vegetables. Chili peppers contain Vitamins A and C and capsaicin, which boosts the immune system and raises your body temperature, making it harder for viruses or bacteria to survive.
Thus, the Coconut Chickpea Curry recipe was born! It is quick and delicious and makes enough for a few meals. I plan to make this a few more times before winter is over. As always, let me know in the comments if you made it and liked it. In health and happiness…
Made with chickpeas, peanuts, and spinach, this recipe is loaded with protein and vitamin C! I added some chili crisp oil to the top for an extra punch of heat. Served over coconut rice, this dish is creamy, savory, and filling.
Garnish with chili crisp oil, minced cilantro, and crushed peanuts
Instructions
Add rice to a small pot along with coconut milk.
Stir, then bring to a gentle boil. Turn heat to low, cover, and cook until the liquid has absorbed (about 15-17 minutes). Fluff the rice and set aside.
Next, chop the spinach, cilantro, and peanuts, and mash the garlic.
Add the oil to a large skillet over medium heat. Once hot, add the curry and garlic.
Stir, then add the cane sugar, coconut milk, soy sauce, and peanut butter, mixing well.
Add the chickpeas, spinach, and cilantro, mixing until the spinach is wilted.
Remove from the heat. Serve over coconut rice.
Garnish with crushed peanuts, chili crisp, and cilantro.
If you’ve followed my culinary journey for any length of time, you already know that winter is when I truly come alive in the kitchen. Cold weather turns me into a cozy-food alchemist—give me comforting soups, hearty stews, and bubbling casseroles, and I’m in my element.
And this Shepherd’s Pie?Thisis one of the recipes I’m most excited to share with you.
There’s something magical about warming up with delicious food when the air turns cold. It fills my belly, nourishes my soul, and always seems to bring me back to center. This particular recipe has been a favorite of mine for years. The way the flavors meld together, deepen overnight, and become even better the next day—it’s pure comfort in a dish.
Over time, I’ve tested several versions, each with its own personality and little twist. Some were good… but a bit too tame for my taste. I’m all about bold, layered flavor—after all, what’s the point of cooking otherwise? One version was decent but needed that extraoomph. In a pinch, I grabbed a bottle of Heinz Chili Sauce from the pantry. Normally, I avoid store-bought sauces because of the additives, but I’ll admit—it absolutely worked.
Still, you know me. I wanted something deeper, richer,mine.
So I set out to create a homemade version: a balanced, robust tomato-based sauce built from scratch with spices and love. The result was everything I hoped for—savory, tangy, full-bodied—and it ties this entire dish together beautifully.
It’s hearty, comforting, flavorful, and a perfect cold-weather staple.
I hope it warms your home the way it warms mine.
Hearty and satisfying, this vegan shepherd’s pie is one of my favorite cold-weather recipes. This lentil dish is packed with protein and will satisfy even the pickiest meat eater!
Ingredients
Scale
MASHED POTATOES
3poundsYukon gold potatoes, washed and partially peeled
3–4Tbspvegan butter
1/2 cup plant-based milk (I used cashew milk)
Sea salt and black pepper (to taste)
FILLING
1Tbspolive oil
1mediumonion(diced)
2clovesgarlic(minced)
2 Tbsp quality tomato paste
8 oz tomato sauce
Lemon juice from ½ lemon
1 T light brown sugar
1 T honey
¼ t mustard powder
¼ t onion powder
¼ t garlic powder
¼ t chili powder
¼ t Worcestershire sauce
1healthy pinch eachsea salt and black pepper
1 1/2cupsuncooked brown or green lentils(rinsed and drained)
4cupsvegetable stock
2tspfresh thyme (or sub 1 tsp dried thyme per 2 tsp fresh)
110-ouncebag of frozen mixed veggies: peas, carrots, green beans, and corn
Instructions
Preheat oven to 425° F (218° C)
Dice the potatoes into quarters and place them in a Dutch oven or large stock pot. Fill the pot until the potatoes are just covered. Bring to a boil on medium-high heat. Generously salt, cover, and cook for 20-30 minutes or until fork tender.
Once cooked, drain and transfer to a medium-size mixing bowl. Using a potato masher or fork, mash until smooth. Add vegan butter and milk—season with salt and pepper to taste. Loosely cover and set aside.
While the potatoes are cooking, lightly grease a 9×13 pan.
Warm pan over medium-low heat. Add olive oil and sauté onions for 6-8 minutes until caramelized. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Add tomato paste and cook for 3-4 minutes until the tomato sauce is a deeper, browner brick red. This will caramelize the sugars and intensify the flavors even more.
Add tomato sauce, lemon juice, light brown sugar, maple syrup, mustard powder, onion powder, garlic powder, chili powder, Worcestershire sauce, and a pinch of salt and pepper.
Then add lentils, stock, and thyme and stir. Bring to a low boil.
Cover and reduce heat to simmer. Cook until lentils are tender (35-40 minutes). Once tender, remove the lid and continue simmering uncovered, stirring frequently, to evaporate any excess liquid.
Add the frozen veggies and stir in the last 10 minutes of cooking.
Taste and adjust seasonings as needed. Transfer to your prepared oven-safe baking dish and carefully top with mashed potatoes—fluff potatoes with a fork and season with another dash of pepper and sea salt.
Place on a baking sheet to catch any drips and bake for 10-15 minutes or until the mashers are lightly browned on top.
It will be hot! Let it cool before serving. The longer it sits, the more it will thicken.
Enjoy!
Notes
Let cool completely before covering, and then store in the fridge for up to a few days.
Reheats well in the microwave. I re-heat at 70% power level for 4-5 minutes.
To quote the late Elie Wiesel, author and Holocaust survivor,
“The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness. It’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy. It’s indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death. It’s indifference.”
It’s taken me a while to articulate the emotional burden I carried last week after the election. It wasn’t hate, resentment, fear, or anger that consumed me, but a heavy cloak of indifference.
Even in hatred, we are moved to act. We fight it, denounce it, and disarm it.
And while indifference can be a source of respite during difficult times, if left unchecked, it can lead to apathy, allowing us to ignore others’ essential humanity.
So last week, I called my mother and quite matter-of-factly told her that I no cared what happened to other people. I no longer cared what happened to our country. And I no longer believed in God. My mother listened quietly. When I was done crying, she said with a wisdom that always seems to transcend time, “Stephanie, you put your faith into the wrong hands and called it God. It’s okay. But no political party, man or woman, or institution can make things better.”
Then she told me to pray.
When I hung up, I wasn’t sure if the conversation had made me feel better or worse, but I did what she said. I prayed. I asked God how hate could win. How can selfish lies win? How can people use HIS name for evil? I was numb.
As I went about my day driving to the grocery store, my heart suddenly brimmed with something I can only describe as love. But not just any love—agape love—a selfless, unconditional, universal love that has the power to transform.
That may sound weird. Writing it after the fact sounds strange to me, too. But it was a love that came from a place far greater than my imperfect capacity to love. It is a feeling I wish I could bottle up and pour out in moments of doubt and despair.
Most of the people who know me well know that I am more of an omnist when it comes to religion. I am well-versed in many faiths and have sifted, sorted, and adopted my own particular beliefs about the subject.
One of the most challenging things I have had to come to terms with in Christianity and Buddhism is the concept of forgiveness. It is deeply rooted in compassion and understanding. It is the belief that we must love and forgive those who have harmed us. But how can I love my enemies, and why should I pray for those who persecute myself and others?
Because that’s how He loves us. Before his crucifixion, Jesus’s final commandment celebrating the Passover meal with his disciples was to “Love one another as I have loved you.”
We are to forgive seventy times seven. We bestow unlimited forgiveness.
Even in the throws of agony on the cross, Jesus asked his God to forgive his torturers even as he watched them gamble for his clothes: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” For Buddhists, love and forgiveness are ways to end suffering and find inner peace. For Unists and Yogis, love is compassion, equanimity, and the highest vibration, an unconditional love that can create positive change.
Love is about dismantling the ego, offering help to those in need, holding the door open for someone, saying excuse me, please, and thank you, being kind to those who are not kind to you.
It is about putting more good than bad into the world. We have to embrace love collectively and show each other compassion without judgment. It doesn’t mean we have to love what people do. It means we respond, act, and treat each other from a place of love, even towards those who do not love us, because “they know not what they do.” And if we did, there wouldn’t be so much anger, hatred, and violence in the world.
We cannot meet hate with hate.
We cannot meet anger with anger.
We cannot meet violence with violence.
We can only confront hate, anger, and violence with the most powerful force we have-love.
It’s not just a response. It’s a choice, a decision to act from a place of love.
I love mushrooms, but my favorites are big, juicy portobellos. Add some thyme, red wine, and onions, and I’m all yours.
When immature and white, this mushroom may be known as common mushroom, white mushroom button mushroom, cultivated mushroom, table mushroom, and champignon mushroom. When immature and brown, it may be known as Swiss brown mushroom, Roman brown mushroom, Italian brown mushroom, cremini/crimini mushroom, chestnut mushroom, and baby Bella.
When marketed in its mature state, the mushroom is brown with a cap measuring 4–6 inches. This form is commonly sold under portobello mushroom, portabella mushroom, and portobello mushroom. Thank you, Wikipedia. Who knew?
I wanted to add a portobello mushroom recipe to my cookbook but lamented the best way to prepare them. I got out my handy dandy cast iron, but then I remembered that I had my little-used Cameron stovetop smoker. Within minutes, I fired up my gas stove and added some portobello mushroom caps and cherry wood chips. Twenty-five minutes later, I was floating in mushroom heaven. And no worries if you don’t have a smoker. You’re set if you have a medium pot with a lid, steamer basket, foil, and wood chips! Just so you know, there may not be a lot of variety, but you can buy wood chips at almost any grocery store.
Finally, I debated between topping it with a simple red wine sauce or a cabernet demi-glace, aka a Marchand de Vin Sauce. I opted for the latter. It didn’t disappoint, either. With just a tang of the sherry vinegar marinade shining through the cherry wood’s mild and fruity smoke, it was the perfect balance of flavor. I didn’t make my own demi-glace, but you certainly can. I will work on that recipe next!
The key to this recipe is the marinade. Mushrooms are highly porous so you don’t need to marinade them long. I also use a great mushroom brush to remove any dirt.
Ingredients
Scale
4–5 Portobello mushroom caps, brushed with stems removed.
Whisk marinade ingredients together in a small bowl. Add mushrooms to a shallow baking dish or a gallon size ziplock bag and top with marinade. Set aside and allow to marinate for 30 minutes.
While mushrooms are marinating, make the demi-glace.
Warm a medium-size sauté pan over medium heat.
Add butter. When butter begins to foam, add shallots, salt, and white pepper and bouquet garni. Sauté until shallots have softened, about 5-7 minutes.
Add vegetable stock, demi-glace, and wine.
Stir well and turn up the heat. Bring to a boil.
Reduce heat to a simmer and cook until the stock has reduced by half, about 20 minutes.
Mushrooms:
If using a smoker, add wood chips to the bottom of the smoker. If using a pan to smoke, jump down to the notes section.
Place the drip tray on top of the wood chips inside the smoker base. Spraying the tray with non-stick vegetable spray, or place a sheet of aluminum foil to make for easier clean-up.
Place the wire rack on top of the drip tray. Remove mushrooms from the marinade and arrange them on the wire rack. Slide lid closed.
Smoke for 20 minutes over medium heat.
Remove bouquet from demi-glace and taste for seasoning. Carefully remove mushrooms from the smoker and transfer them to a cutting board.
Slice mushrooms into 1/2″ slices. Plate the mushrooms and spoon 3-4 Tbsp’s of demi-glace over the top.
Enjoy!
Notes
Never wash mushrooms with water! They are like a sponge and soak up water lowering the flavor. People think it’s dirt that’s on them, but it’s peat moss, and it’s all pasteurized. Portobello’s are usually pretty clean, but I use a mushroom brush for other types.
A bouquet garni is simple to make. Place herbs together in a small stack and tie stems together with a short bit of kitchen twine. Tie it tightly, as the herbs will shrink as they cook.
If pan smoking:
Place a double layer of foil in the bottom of a medium pot. Place wood chips on top, in a little mound. Place strainer basket over top. Place mushrooms in the strainer basket.
Place the pot on the stove and turn to medium high or high heat. Leave uncovered until you see smoke. When you see smoke, tightly cover. Wait 30 seconds, then turn heat to medium.
This dish is one of my all-time favorites—complex yet approachable. Part savory, part sweet, it brings together earthy sage, aromatic baking spices, and a subtle drizzle of maple syrup for a flavor that lingers just right. Unlike most pumpkin-ricotta recipes that lean fully savory, this one dances between sweet and earthy in a way that feels both comforting and unexpected.
The pumpkin folds seamlessly into the sage’s grounding flavor, while the baking spices give it warmth and depth. Top it with my creamy cashew béchamel, and you’ve got a holiday-worthy dish that makes a bold statement at the Thanksgiving table (turkey optional). Bonus: it pairs beautifully with both reds and whites—but if you’re asking me, I’d pour a glass of oaky Chardonnay.
Part savory, part sweet, this recipe covers all the bases! Some recipes do not have you press the tofu. Pressing the tofu removes an additional 1/2 cup of water, and this prevents it from being too runny.
Ingredients
Scale
1 (16 oz) package of organic Conchiglioni Pasta, or other egg free large shell pasta
1 (12 oz.) package of extra firm organic tofu, pressed
3 Tbsp (6g) nutritional yeast
3 Tbsp fresh sage, minced (do not omit, and dice a little extra for garnish)
1 1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp dried sage
1 tsp sea salt
1/8 tsp black pepper
1/4 cup vegan parmesan, plus additional 1/4 cup for topping
1 lemon, juiced (2 Tbsp juice)
1 tsp baking spice mix (can also use pumpkin pie spice mix)
Cook pasta according to package directions. Be sure not to overcook! Drain and set aside.
After the tofu has been pressed, crumble and add to a food processor. Add nutritional yeast, fresh sage, oregano, dry sage, vegan parmesan, lemon juice, salt, and pepper.
Pulse until ingredients begin to combine into a ball stage. Remove from the food processor and add to a medium-size bowl. Fold in pumpkin puree, maple syrup, and baking spice mix—taste for salt. Mix well.
Give the pasta noodles a good rinse (they might be a little sticky). Shake off excess water. In a 9″x12″ glass baking dish, spread 1 cup of béchamel sauce on the dish’s bottom.
Carefully remove a conch shell and place it in the palm of your hand. Gently squeeze each pasta shell until it opens. Using about 2 Tbsps of filling, fill each shell until your pan is full.
Drizzle with remaining 1 cup béchamel sauce, being sure to coat all of the noodles well. If using, top with additional parmesan cheese.
Bake for 20-25 minutes. Turn oven up to broil and carefully watch until the parmesan cheese has melted and lightly browned, about 2 minutes. (Be careful not to walk away from a broiler as it can burn very quickly).
Let cool and plate. Drizzle shells with remaining béchamel sauce from pan.
Taste for salt and pepper.
Notes
*Be sure to check your pasta label for eggs.
UPDATE:**I walked away from the broiler one hour after writing this. Sheeshhh.
If there is one thing I like to keep on hand at all times, it is this summer dressing. It is so simple yet versatile and delicious. The flavor of Champagne vinegar is very mild and light. Though not necessarily made of grapes from the Champagne region of France, the quality of the vinegar can vary drastically. I bought Champagne Vinegar by O.
It’s not necessarily the grapes but the quality of the vinegar that matters. I like the O brand because its acidity is right around 6%, making it less acrid and more well-rounded in flavor. This would be wonderful over roasted asparagus, leafy salads, roasted tofu, or a more hardy potato salad!
This simple and flavorful Champagne vinaigrette is easy to make and the perfect complement to any salad. It also works great as a marinade for tofu or grilled vegetables.
Ingredients
Scale
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons Champagne vinegar
2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
2 teaspoons lime juice
1 tablespoon agave nectar or maple syrup
1 heaping teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon minced shallot
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Instructions
In a small bowl, whisk together the vinegar, orange juice, lime juice, agave, mustard, and salt. While whisking, slowly drizzle in the olive oil to emulsify the dressing.
Add shallot and season with fresh ground pepper.
Enjoy!
Notes
Refrigerate for up to two weeks. If it thickens in the fridge, don’t worry! Set out at room temperature at least 30 minutes prior to using. If you need it quicker, just sit the dressing in a bowl of warm water. Be sure to whisk or shake well to emulsify ingredients.
It’s no secret that I’m a cooking enthusiast. One of the things I love most is the joy of discovering and trying out new recipes. I’ve cooked rice countless times, but the idea of using coconut milk was a delightful surprise. When I stumbled upon this recipe in the New York Times, I was immediately intrigued. Replacing most of the cooking liquid with full-fat coconut milk, Christian Reynoso’s original recipe was so good that I only made a few minor adjustments, mostly because I used ingredients on hand.
I love any recipe with peanuts or peanut butter, preferably both! Add a little heat, and now you’ve got me! The original recipe called for Sambal Oelek. Sambal is an Indonesian chili sauce or paste, typically made from a mixture of chili peppers.
Lately, with all things chili paste, I have added Mr. Bing’s Spicy Chili crisp! Their website describes it perfectly. “An intensely flavorful, crispy, not-too-spicy, slightly sweet dream of a condiment created using crunchy garlic and onions, our special fusion of chilies, mushroom powder, spices, and non-GMO oil.” It’s divine. I add it to soups, tofu eggs, tacos, and now, rice dishes!
At first, I was a little skeptical about the amount of lime juice and zest, but I proved myself wrong! The lime juice gives it a zest and amplifies the other flavors. I recommend doubling the recipe and thanking yourself later! Be sure to double everything in the recipe except salt. Salt doesn’t scale in a linear direction like other ingredients. So, if you decide to double, start with a 50% substitution and taste. Remember, salt is a powerful flavor enhancer, and doubling it can easily overpower the other flavors.
Sweet, spicy, and super filling, this recipe requires little cooking time, making it a perfect dish for summer! Be sure to double everything in the recipe except salt. Salt doesn’t scale in a linear direction like other ingredients. So if you decide to double then begin with a 50% substitution, and then taste.
Ingredients
Scale
1 cup basmati rice, or other white rice (no sushi rice)
1 (14 oz) can full-fat coconut milk
1 (1 1/2″) piece of ginger finely grated
2 large garlic cloves
2 limes
1/2 cup roasted sea-salted peanuts, roughly chopped
2 Tablespoons peanut butter
2 teaspoons raw cane sugar, or coconut sugar
2 cups cherry tomatoes (about 10 oz.), sliced in half on the bias
2 teaspoonschili crisp, or other Asian chili paste
1 cup mixed fresh herbs (I used cilantro, parsley, and chives)
Instructions
Cook the rice according to package instructions until tender, replacing one and a quarter cups of the cooking water with one and a quarter cups of coconut milk. (Do not forget to add remaining water necessary to cook rice, about 3/4 cup)
Fluff the cooked rice with a fork, transfer to a serving bowl and season with salt and pepper. Let cool.
While rice is cooking add 1/4 cup of remaining coconut milk to another bowl. Finely grate the ginger and garlic into the bowl, followed by the zest of one lime. Juice both limes into the bowl, and whisk in 1/4 cup of the peanuts, the peanut butter, sugar, and chili paste. Season to taste with salt.
When ready to serve, add the tomatoes and 3/4 cup of herbs to the bowl with rice. Pour in coconut dressing, toss well to coat. Season with pepper and top with remaining 1/4 cup of crushed peanuts and 1/4 cup of herbs. For best flavor, serve at room temperature of the day it’s made.
When I decided to write a burger recipe, I wanted to make sure that it was recipe-worthy. And when it comes to burgers, the best burger is a simple burger. I’m a sucker for onions and knew they would be a great addition. I sautéed red onion and red cabbage, which I seasoned with garlic and red pepper flakes! And boom!
I finished the burger by lightly toasting the brioche and slathering it with spicy mayo. It was divine. You can add slow roasted peppers, pickled vegetables, vegan blue cheese, guacamole, or even coconut bacon. The truth is there is no wrong way to make a burger!
You can use whatever protein you want. Whether it’s made out of beets and quinoa, black beans, or Beyond meat, follow these easy steps to build a better burger!
This is an easy step-by-step guide to building a delicious burger!
Ingredients
Scale
1 package of Impossible Meat or other plant-based burger
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 head red cabbage, shredded
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
brioche buns
olive oil
onion powder
avocado
lettuce
tomatoes
sweet peppers
Sriracha Mayo:
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
1 Tablespoon Sriracha
Instructions
Prep brioche by lightly brushing the inside of 4 buns with olive oil and a sprinkle of onion powder. Set aside.
Form burgers into 4 equal-sized patties and season each side with salt and pepper.
Warm a medium-sized skillet over medium-low heat. When heated, add oil. When oil begins to shimmer, add onions to the pan. The key to caramelizing is cooking low and slow. When onions start to soften after 4-5 minutes, add cabbage, garlic, red pepper flakes, and salt. Cook until onions and cabbage have caramelized, about 8-10 minutes. Remove from the pan. Set aside.
In the same pan, increase heat to medium-high. When warmed, add burgers to the pan. Using a spatula, immediately begin to move the meat around in the pan. Moving them around helps the burgers form a crust and keeps them from sticking to the pan. Cook each side for about 3-4 minutes. If using vegan cheese, add it when you flip the burger.
If using cheese, turn heat to medium-low and cover the pan; this will help melt the cheese. Check after 2-3 minutes.
Place buns in toaster or oven and toast until lightly crisp. Add mayonnaise to the inside of both the top and bottom bun.
Using tongs, top burgers with onions and cabbage.
When brioche is toasted, add the burger and other toppings.
A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to meet Dr. Michael Greger, MD, at a conference here in St. Louis. I had read his book, “How Not to Die,” and was delighted to hear him speak. One of the biggest takeaways was learning about a sulfur-rich compound called sulforaphane. Found in certain cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, Brussels sprouts, and cabbage, sulforaphane is a powerful antioxidant that cancels out free radicals in the body and protects your DNA.
Plant-based Summit 2018
It has also been shown to reduce certain toxins, reduce inflammation, and provide protection from cancer, specifically breast cancer stem cells. It also protects against blood vessel damage in people with diabetes and lowers the levels of fat found in our blood.
The thing about sulforaphane is that it must be developed before being eaten. The easiest way to do that is to cut up your broccoli and let it sit for at least a half-hour before eating.
Chopping and exposing broccoli to the air allows it to activate the enzyme to promote sulforaphane. And if you’re not used to getting a lot of fiber in your diet, cutting up the broccoli and cauliflower makes it a bit easier to digest!
This dish is best served cold. It can easily be made the day before and it holds up quite well! It would also be a perfect dish for your Memorial Day weekend! As always tag me and let me know how you liked it!
Rich in antioxidants, fiber, and flavor, this salad is a delicious way to get all of your nutrients at once! 100% raw, this beautiful green salad reminds me of Spring! I use half the dressing on day one. And then I use the other half the next day. The dressing is delicious day one, but even better the next day! Double your batch, and thank me later. The salad freezes well. If you’re going to freeze, use glass if possible. I use a mason jar. Be sure to save some dressing and freeze separately.
Ingredients
Scale
Ingredients
Salad:
12 ounces small broccoli florets (about 5 cups), cut into morsel size
6 ounces cauliflower florets, cut into morsel size pieces
2 (14 oz.) cans chickpeas, drained & rinsed
1/2 cup soaked cashews, drained or rinsed (or boiled for 10 minutes and rinsed) See Note.
1 large yellow bell pepper, diced
1 large tomato, seeded and diced
1 zucchini, diced
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1 ripe avocado, diced
3 tablespoons hemp seeds
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
3 large fresh tarragon leaves, minced
1/2 cup cilantro, minced
Dressing
1 ripe avocado, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup soaked and rinsed cashews— If possible soak overnight. (See Dressing Instructions)
2 tablespoons fresh tarragon
1/2 zucchini, diced
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
1 shallot, minced
1/2 cup full fat coconut milk
1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon hemp seeds
1/2 tsp dried tarragon (optional, but recommended)
1 tsp salt and pepper
Instructions
Dressing:
Make the dressing first and refrigerate.
Soak cashews overnight or boil for 10 minutes to soften. Drain and rinse.
Add all ingredients, including cashews, to a blender and mix well. If the dressing is too thick, add 2 tablespoons of water at a time until it thins to your preference. The dressing should be smooth. Taste for all seasonings. Adjust if needed.
Salad:
Divide broccoli in half, and pulse each half until broccoli resembles small rice grains. Note – you do not want to pulse it all at once because you risk turning some of your broccoli into a paste.
Repeat with cauliflower.
In a large mixing bowl, add broccoli, cauliflower, and tarragon.Mix well. Add remaining ingredients and stir well. Add dressing, mixing well—taste for seasoning. Adjust if necessary.
This dish is best served cold. The dressing or the entire salad can easily be made the day before. Don’t worry about the vegetables softening. It holds up quite nicely!
Notes
Cashews need to be softened. You can soak them overnight or boil them on the stovetop for about 15 minutes, or until cashews float to the top of the water.
To me, this vegan Potato Leek soup is the ultimate comfort food. I make it several times a year, and it never gets old. I have modified it over the years for several reasons.
First, I switched out russets for Yukon gold potatoes. Yukons are buttery and creamy, whereas russets are slightly flowery and neutral. Second, I use coconut milk instead of soy or oat milk. The full-fat coconut milk gives it a creamy thickness that I love in soup. Regular plant-based milk made it too runny. This soup is meant to stick to your bones!
Finally, I started using a few more of the Provencal herbs instead of just rosemary and thyme. You can buy Herbes de Provence pre-made, or if you’re a spice lover like me, you can make your own. This simple blend includes thyme, basil, rosemary, tarragon, savory, marjoram, oregano, and bay leaf. You can use it on just about anything, too! I love it on avocado toast!
Savory is a rarely used provincial herb. It is in the mint family and makes the herb blend so wonderful, in my opinion! Feel free to use what you have on hand, but if you have some mint, I recommend adding just a pinch or two!
3 medium leeks, washed and sliced into 1/4″ rings (white and light green parts only)
2 1/2 pound Yukon gold potatoes, cubed 1/2 inch (peeled or with skin on)
1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme and rosemary, or Herbes de Provence
1 bay leaf
4cups water or low-sodium vegetable broth
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup full-fat coconut milk
1–2tablespoonsfresh lemon juice
1/4cup chopped chives, to garnish
Vegan sour cream (optional garnish)
Instructions
Make sure leeks are washed well first. (see note)
Heat the oil, butter, and a pinch of salt in a dutch oven over medium heat. Add the leeks, and sauté until softened, about 5-6 minutes.
Add garlic and herbs. Sauté for 2-3 minutes.
Add the potatoes, vegetable broth, bay leaf, salt, and pepper. Increase heat until soup beings to simmer. When it simmers, reduce heat to low and cook for about 15-20 minutes, or until the potatoes are fork tender.
Remove from heat and remove bay leaves. Stir in the coconut milk and lemon juice. Taste for seasoning.
Using an immersion blender, blend until smooth and creamy. You can also use a regular blender and carefully blend half the soup. (Only fill the blender 1/3-1/2 full, and using a towel hold the lid of the blender in place).
Add blended soup back to the dutch oven and stir well.
Serve in soup bowls and top with chopped green chives, sour cream if using, fresh ground pepper.
Notes
*To clean leeks, cut off the root end and slice off the green part. Cut the leek in half length-wise. Cut into thin strips about 1/4″ thick. Too thin, and they can burn. Add to a bowl of water, and using your hands, sift the leeks through the water. All the dirt will sink to the bottom of the bowl. Remove leeks from the water, and they’re ready to use!
We are so fortunate to have the best Indian grocery store not too far from our house. There are aisles of spices, rice, and about a hundred kinds of dal! Dal in Sanskrit means “split,” but it refers to split and whole versions of various lentils, peas, chickpeas (chana), kidney beans, and so on. So, the chana dal I used for this recipe is a split chickpea!
The best part of this recipe was the addition of whole spices. Imagine how good your kitchen will smell while sautéing onions, cloves, a whole cinnamon stick, and cardamom. Delicious! You can use any green on hand. I just happened to have some spinach that needed to be used, but kale is a great option, too.
This is an easy recipe for the Instant Pot, too. Use the sauté feature to cook the onions and spices. Then, pick up the recipe at step three and cook on high for 15 minutes. I cubed and browned my sweet potatoes before adding them to the lentils. If you don’t roast or brown them first, you risk them becoming mushy.
Curried dal is deliciously satisfying and super easy to make! You will also have plenty of leftovers! Serve with warmed naan or toasted bread.
Ingredients
Scale
1pound dal
3green cardamom pods
3tablespoons coconut oil
1cinnamon stick
3whole cloves
1 medium onion, halved and thinly sliced
4cloves garlic, crushed
1 tablespoon peeled and grated ginger
1Serrano chile, stemmed and finely sliced
1 sweet potato, peeled and cubed
1/3 cup yellow curry paste
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
10 oz fresh baby spinach
½teaspoon mustard seeds
2tablespoons unsweetened shredded coconut
2teaspoons kosher salt
1lime, juiced
1 full 15 oz can full fat coconut milk
Rice
Garnish with yogurt, and cilantro, and smoked paprika
Instructions
Rinse the lentils in a strainer in cold water until the water runs clear, then place in a medium bowl, cover with water, and set aside. Using the side of a knife, carefully crack open the cardamom pods.
Add 1 tablespoon of the coconut oil into a large pot over medium heat. When hot, add the cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, and cloves. Cook for about a minute, then add the onions. Cook for 10 minutes, stirring frequently until the onions are browning and soft. Add garlic, ginger, and chile and stir-fry for 1 to 2 minutes. Remove cinnamon stick.
Drain lentils and add to the pot; add turmeric, curry paste, and 4 1/4 cups of hot water. Turn the heat to high and bring to a boil. Once they are boiling, reduce the heat to low and simmer for 20 to 25 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the lentils are soft and creamy.
While lentils are cooking, warm a skillet over medium heat. Add 1 tablespoon of coconut oil, and when shimmering, add sweet potatoes. Brown potatoes on all sides and cook until they are almost fork tender. Remove from pan and set aside.
In the same pan, add the remaining tablespoon of coconut oil over medium heat and, when shimmering, add the mustard seeds. When the seeds pop, add the reserved onion mixture and fry for 1 to 2 minutes. Add the spinach, shredded coconut, and 1/2 teaspoon of the salt—Cook for 1 minute. Add the lime juice and stir.
When the lentils are soft and creamy, add the coconut milk and remaining salt. Add spinach mixture and sweet potatoes—taste for seasoning. Cook for 5 more minutes, or until potatoes have warmed through. I added just a bit more curry paste to mine, but I like heat! Serve in a bowl, and spoon over rice. Top with yogurt, cilantro, and smoked paprika.
One of my favorite meals as a kid was macaroni and cheese. Kraft out of a box kinda mac-n-cheese. It was the first thing I made ever made by myself. Of course I never read the directions and it was usually too runny. I remember once even making it using water because we were out of milk. It was awful, but I still ate it.
Over the years, the Kraft powdered cheese and elbow pasta faded into the recesses of memory and was eventually replaced with conchiglie pasta drowning in a creamy gruyere sauce. When I became a vegan 8 years ago, I figured the days of gooey, melty cheese and pasta were over. And for a few years, they were. Whether it was nostalgia or a renewed craving for my childhood favorite, I set out to make the ultimate vegan mac-n-cheese.
Many of the sauces I tried used shredded vegan cheese that lacked my desired flavor and texture. I also wanted to use something other than elbow pasta but wanted to stay in the macaroni family.
Macaroni pasta is broadly defined as any short, cylindrical extruded pasta. Extruded, meaning the pasta is made by forcing a dry semolina-and-water dough through a die. Spaghetti, rotini, fusilli, penne, bucatini, macaroni, and rigatoni are all examples of extruded pasta. I opted for a gluten-free corn based rigatoni.
My gruyere recipe was tangy and delicious. And I felt the tang was always missing from my vegan sauces until I discovered a sneaky little ingredient that would be the game changer. Saurkraut. Yes, sauerkraut.
Like cheese, sauerkraut’s characters tangy flavor comes from the ubiquitous lactobacillus bacterial (lactic acid) species that are used to make the famous Swiss gruyere. Trust me, kraut made all the difference.
This recipe also uses potatoes as a thickener. I do not like using extracted starches like corn starch or tapioca starch. They typically leave a bitter taste and have no nutritional value. The mighty potato, however, has the starch I needed and contains vitamin C, potassium, and B6.
I like to make my bread crumbs, too. My go-to is always sourdough. I like, I mean, I love sourdough bread. Not only is it easier to digest and has a lower glycemic index, but it also has low gluten sensitivity and beneficial bacteria, and sourdough maintains many of the original nutrients that are processed out of other kinds of bread, like iron, magnesium, B6, B12, and zinc.
As always tag me if you make it and let me know how you like it!
1/2 c. sourdough breadcrumbs (about 1 slice processed in blender or mixer)
2 tsp fresh thyme leaves, or 1 tsp dried thyme
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
FOR MAC & CHEESE
1 lb. rigatoni, or other macaroni pasta
1 tbsp. refined coconut oil or vegetable oil
1 large white onion, chopped
1 tsp. ground mustard, or 1 tsp. Dijon mustard
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 ½ cups raw cashews
1 large russet potato, peeled and cubed (about 2 cups)
3 ½ cups water
2/3 cup sauerkraut, drained in a fine mesh sieve
¼ cup nutritional yeast
1 tbsp. white wine vinegar
1 tbsp. hot sauce
Instructions
In a large, salted pot of water, boil pasta until al dente, 9 to 10 minutes. Drain.
Meanwhile, make breadcrumb topping: in a medium skillet over medium heat, heat olive oil. Add breadcrumbs and thyme, and season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until topping is golden. Transfer to a bowl to cool.
In a large pot over medium heat, heat coconut or vegetable oil. Add onion and cook until soft, 6 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, then stir in mustard and cumin and cook until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes more. Add cashews, potatoes, and water and bring to a boil. Boil until potatoes are tender, 6 to 7 minutes.
When potatoes are tender, transfer mixture in pot to a blender or food processor, and puree until smooth. Add sauerkraut, nutritional yeast, white wine vinegar, and hot sauce. Puree again until smooth, then taste and season with salt and pepper if needed.
Combine cooked pasta and cheese sauce in a large bowl and stir to combine. Top with Panko mixture and serve.
Summer is almost over, and before it is, I pulled 10 of my must-try before-summer recipes. I’ve covered everything from soups and appetizers to main dishes and desserts!
One of my favorite things to use is our pizza oven. It is honestly my new favorite toy! It takes a bit of work, but it is worth the effort. This recipe is one of my favorites, and if you don’t want to make it on the grill, you can easily throw a tray in the oven!
Summer wouldn’t be summer without watermelon! This is one of my favorite soups, and I think you’ll like it too! If you can find a “Black Diamond” watermelon, grab one! They’re worth the price!
Who doesn’t love a yummy, beautiful bowl for lunch or dinner? I love pickling and canning fresh vegetables from my garden. Onions are my new favorite thing to grow! I keep pickled onions on hand nearly year-round. This recipe uses tomatoes, quick pickled onions, and micro-greens!
I made the following recipe for the Fourth of July a few years ago. These tiny treasures only take a little while to make, but they do need some freezer time, so it’s best to make them the day before you want to eat them! If you like red, white, and blue, skip the matcha in the cheesecake and add key lime juice to your white layer! This recipe is also 100% raw vegan. For the rose cheesecakes, I added Anima Mundi Herbals Dirty Rose Chai collagen powder, a plant-based collagen that is super bio-available.
Summer is usually a pretty busy time for us. We travel a lot, everyone runs in different directions, and sometimes I want a quick meal. My go-to is pasta! Cacio E Pepe in English means cheese and pepper. This simple delight is on the table in under 30 minutes. This recipe is perfect for you if you have cherry tomatoes growing in your garden!
If you have been with me for a while, then it’s no secret that I love Mexican food. I could eat it every meal daily and never grow tired of it. Tacos are my mainstay; I eat them for breakfast and dinner. The only thing that is second to tacos in my book is a creamy, delicious dip served with tortilla chips. Hence, my following recipe. Muy, muy delicioso!
An oldie but goodie is my Sweet Potato Coconut Curry with Mango Salsa. Mango season is now! I love them so much; their sweetness perfectly complements the spicy curry and sweet potato. If you don’t have a spiralizer, most grocery stores will have sweet potatoes spiralized or butternut squash, which has a similar color and flavor and makes a fine stand-in.
Another mainstay of summer is my Poke Bowl with Compressed Watermelon. In place of Ahi Tuna, the compressed watermelon is an impressive imposter. If you don’t have a vacuum sealer, don’t worry; you can use a straw and a gallon-size ziplock! It’s a little bit of effort for a whole lot of flavor.
For this Kansas City native, summer is not summer without BBQ. Honestly, I don’t miss meat. I miss the smell and flavors of slow-roasted barbeque. Jackfruit is wonderful because it has the texture of meat and loves to soak up the flavor of any marinade or sauce. I lived in North Carolina for a while about 25 years ago, and when my work said they were bringing in BBQ, I was stoked. Then, when I opened my little styrofoam box and found slaw on top of my meat, I almost threw it in the trash. Not to mention, it was also a vinegar-based BBQ instead of tomato-based. I still hate vinegar-based BBQ. It’s not natural. However, I did make nice with the slaw on top of my sandwich, and now I can’t get enough!
My friends, let’s end with a dessert, shall we? This simple sorbet recipe uses one of my favorite summertime ingredients, the lovely, delicious, and often overlooked rhubarb. A vegetable is often used as a fruit in the culinary world. When choosing rhubarb, look for crisp stalks that are firm and tender. Try to avoid stalks that are too hard or thick. Unlike its friend, the strawberry, color doesn’t have much impact on taste.
This piece was written by my good friend and neighbor, Kelly Wolz. It is dedicated to all the girls I’ve loved before, my sisters of the present, and all the women I will meet and share life with in the future.
My sentiments exactly.
XOXO,
Steph
———–
I have been seeing a lot of reviews on the Barbie Movie, and to be honest, I haven’t seen it, and I’m not sure if I will.
It’s not that I’m not a supporter of females or blind to all the adversities we feel and deal with daily. Trust me. I could write a book on how dirty I and some women in my industry have been played.
Disclaimer, I know what I’m about to say will come off as wholly arrogant, and that’s okay. I feel a bit entitled and proud of my hard work and where I am, and it didn’t come easy.
Sadly, I’m not the norm regarding confidence, and I’m incredibly comfortable in my skin.
Here is the truth. Unfortunately, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows regarding being a confident female. Unfortunately, that confidence comes with extreme guilt, sadness, hate, and wonder.
Regarding the hate, I take action from Jay Z’s playbook “Gone brush your shoulders off.”
It’s the wonder of women that always gets me messed up. Women always wonder what other women have or how they walk around with such confidence—constantly questioning the validity of their own persona and doubting that someone with a certain face, size, kind of car, hair, makeup, kids, husband, no husband, etc could be so happy.
Instead of being happy and proud, most women are in disbelief and wonder why someone could be so delighted with who they are and what they have.
Just know, What’s good for me or someone else, may not suit you. Good thing, I am me, and you are you.
And for me one of the hardest things for me as a female is to watch another female (especially if it’s someone I respect) bring another female down. What’s even worse than that???
Witnessing such beautiful women struggle with what they see in the mirror and then letting that image affect them mentally.
So you know, some of the most physically beautiful friends and family I have, maybe some of the most insecure people I know.
Society has led people to believe we should be concerned and worried about women who don’t charm the world and the insecurities they may have as a result. (Don’t worry about us; our milkshakes can still bring the boys out to the yard). 😉
I am more concerned about our children and the women who hold the power to charm the world and feel that pressure always. They spend their time counting calories, feeling the need for the best of everything: the perfect body, hair, clothes, and makeup.
It’s almost as if the world treats them like performers. Their sole purpose is to be easy on the eyes of society.
And the moment they take a break from trying to impress the world, they feel that negative energy from everyone because people hold so much value in their beauty that they don’t take the time to see their inner beauty.
Ladies, can we make a pack? To be more supportive of each other and more open about our confidences and insecurities. Can we build each other up instead of ripping each other down when we think someone has surpassed where we want to be?
Let’s use our women super powers and determination to ensure our children have fewer adversities than we do. We are all in this together ❤️
The other day, I was mindlessly scrolling when a video stopped me cold—a baby bear and its momma climbing a dangerously steep, snow-covered mountainside.
Momma made it up easily. The baby… not so much. It would climb, slip, and tumble backward, over and over, sometimes so far down I gasped out loud. My heart broke for that little bear. Just when it seemed hopeless—when I thought I was about to witness tragedy—the baby flung out a paw and caught hold of a single, bare rock.
And then, something changed.
You could almost feel the grit rise up in its tiny body. With a fierce, unshakable will to live, the baby climbed again—this time with relentless focus—until it reached the top, where Momma waited. Off they went into the trees, together at last.
I cried. Not because it was cute (though it was) but because of what it meant: the pure essence of grit. Grit is the bridge between self-preservation and perseverance. Self-preservation is instinctual—it makes you grab the rock so you don’t fall to your death. Grit is what comes after, the soul’s voice that says, “I’m not done. Keep climbing.” Survival instinct might save your life in the moment, but grit is what carries you to safety, to growth, and ultimately, to the life you want.
Grit is courage and resolve. It’s the spiritual toughness that doesn’t live on the surface. It sits deep in your chest, somewhere near the heart, and only wakes when life demands more from you than you thought you had to give.
I think of it every time I trail run. My legs don’t get me to the finish line. My lungs don’t either. It’s my soul. My brain screams,“What the hell are you doing? Stop!”But my soul whispers,“Keep going. I have to do this.”
Life hands us moments like that baby bear’s climb—moments when quitting is easy, almost seductive. The rational mind offers every excuse:It’s too hard. You’ll never make it. Why bother?And quitting takes zero effort. But the price of quitting is steep: disappointment, discouragement, and the ache of an unmet desire.
To persevere is to take the road less traveled, paved with exhaustion, doubt, and fear. But on the other side of that road—whether it’s a race finish line, a diploma, a healed body, or a dream realized—you discover the real prize: the unshakable knowing that you can count on your own soul to get you there.
I watched my brother do this after a horrific motorcycle accident. A doctor told him he would never walk again. He could have believed that and surrendered to a wheelchair. Instead, he listened to the voice inside—the one that said,“Get up. ”And he did. Today, he walks with only a slight limp, living proof that the soul knows what the mind refuses to believe.
Fear keeps many of us from the hard road. We avoid risk. We stay safe. We confuse existing with living. But living—really living—requires that we reach for thatextra, the hidden reserve inside us that shows up only when invited.
And like any muscle, grit grows with practice. We practice by doing hard things. By choosing the hill, the risk, the challenge that scares us. By saying yes when our brain says no.
Frost said it best:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Take the hard road. Catch the rock. Keep climbing.
The view from the top will stay with you forever. 🖤
This recipe was destined to be written! The sun, the moon, and the stars truly aligned! I was fortunate to receive Seeductive Foods plant-based cheese samples, and I knew when I saw the Truffle Peppercorn cheese it was meant for a pasta dish! I found an artisan porcini tagliatelle pasta at our local farmer’s market a few days later. Once I had the pasta, I made my way over to my friend JT, grabbed some lion’s mane mushrooms, and the rest, they say it’s history!
The first thing to note about this recipe is how simple it is. The other is the importance of pressing the mushrooms! I tried making a marinade for the mushrooms, but it made them soggy because Lion’s Mane has a very high water content. So I decided to try a dry rub using my Montreal steak seasoning, which was perfection! Pressing the mushrooms helps remove the water and gives them a nice dense “steak-like” texture.
Lion’s Mane
If you’re unfamiliar, a lion’s mane is a large, white mushroom that, as it grows, has a shaggy appearance resembling a lion’s mane. Aside from being super steamy delicious, studies have demonstrated that lion’s mane helps increase Nerve Growth Factor (NGF)levels, protecting us against degenerative brain diseases contributing to memory loss.
Lions mane also has immune-boosting benefits. When harmful pathogens enter the body through the mouth or nose as we breathe in, Lion’s mane can bolster our defenses by helping to stimulate gut bacteria to trigger the immune system!
I discovered the wondrous Lion’s Mane from vegan chef Derek Sarno, and this is a take on his recipe. You can use any pasta or plant-based cream-style cheese, but this recipe is about the mighty lion!
Keep about a cup of pasta water in case you need to thin out the sauce later.
Warm a large saucepan over medium heat. When the pan is warm, add olive oil. When the oil is shimmering, add the garlic and cook for a minute or two until fragrant, but not brown.
Add heavy cream and bring the sauce to a simmer, about 5-7 minutes, until nice and thick. The spoon should leave a line/trail as you run it through the sauce.
Turn the heat to low and add cheese, stirring until melted and fully incorporated.
Taste the sauce and add salt or fresh black pepper as needed.
Lightly wipe mushrooms with a wet paper towel to remove dirt or residue. *Do not wash or submerge.
Heat a cast iron pan on medium-high heat. Add oil. When the oil begins to shimmer, place the mushrooms stem side down in the pan for 90 seconds to let them soften.
Sprinkle dry rub over Lion’s Mane, searing each side.
Place a steak weight or smaller cast iron pan on the mushrooms.
Using a potholder or folded kitchen towel, gently press the weight down on the mushrooms. As the mushrooms release water, press harder on the pan or weight. Cook for approximately 5 minutes.
Carefully remove the pan or weight and wipe the water from the bottom. Flip Lion’s Mane using tongs, add more oil and cook the other side for 5 minutes.
When the Lion’s Mane is browned, place the cast iron pan in the oven for 12 minutes. Remove it and let it rest for a few minutes.
Slice and place over pasta. Top with a drizzle of truffle oil.
Happy Cinco de Mayo! I wanted to share one of my favorite recipes and the one I’ll be making tonight, along with some cilantro rice and refried pinto beans!
Sweet Potato & Black Bean Enchiladas
There are hundreds of recipes for enchiladas, and over the years, I have taken bits from every recipe I’ve ever made and combined them in a straightforward recipe.
I subbed vegan Violife feta for the queso fresco, which worked perfectly. Both kinds of cheese are mild, crumbly, and soft. Though feta is a little saltier, you won’t notice it in this recipe.
The cashew crema is optional but highly recommended! It takes the place of sour cream, and I like to drizzle it on top of the enchiladas when they come straight out of the oven!
Fry, Dip, and Roll time!
The most important tip for avoiding soggy enchiladas is to briefly fry your tortillas in hot oil before you fill and roll. I used to wrap the tortillas in a wet paper towel and microwave, but they still broke apart, just not as severely. The pan-frying method is foolproof!
The other thing to note is the amount of sauce you need. Sometimes as Americans, we tend to like our food swimming in sauce. But an authentic enchilada has just enough, but not too much sauce.
Fry
Before frying your tortillas, spread about a cup of sauce lengthwise down the center of your baking sheet. You will also want to warm your enchilada sauce slightly in a large saucepan or a small skillet. Each tortilla needs only about 10 seconds per side.
Dip
After frying the tortillas, dip each side in warm enchilada sauce to coat the whole surface. This method will ensure even distribution.
Roll
Then roll. Roll the seam side down. Be sure not to fill them too much, or the filling will fall out of the sides.
Bake
The other consideration is “to cover, or not to cover?” The short answer is both. You will want to cover them for most of the cooking time to prevent them from drying out. But, about 5 minutes before they’re done, remove the foil and bake uncovered.
When done, top with whatever your heart desires, fresh tomatoes, sliced radishes, crunchy pickled red onions or jalapenos, lime wedges, and fresh cilantro!
Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until completely smooth. *May need to add more water, 1 TBSP at a time to smooth it. (Note): In my Vitamix, it took another ¼ water and about 1 minute of blending on high. It may take longer, depending on your blender. Scrape down the sides as needed.
Enchiladas:
Preheat oven to 350° F (175° C)
Prepare Cashew Crema and refrigerate.
Heat the olive oil over medium-high heat in a large skillet. Add the garlic, onions, and jalapeño and cook until the onions become translucent and the garlic is fragrant, about 2 minutes.
Reduce heat to medium and add 1/4 cup vegetable stock or water and all remaining ingredients except feta, shredded cheese, and cashew crema. Cook for 10 minutes or until potatoes are tender, stirring occasionally. (You may need to add more stock or water a tablespoon at a time if necessary to prevent sticking)
Pour enchilada sauce into a medium skillet and warm slightly over medium heat.
Warm 2 tablespoons of olive oil over medium heat in another medium-sized skillet. Add each tortilla to the oil and lightly pan-fry each side for about 10 seconds per side. Drain tortillas on a plate lined with a paper towel. Immediately dip in enchilada sauce.
Build enchiladas by dredging each side of the tortilla evenly in the enchilada sauce. (May need to add more sauce). Fill each tortilla with a few spoonfuls of vegan feta and top with sweet potato filling.
Next, roll the tortilla and place the seam side down in the baking dish. Repeat until all tortillas are used.
Cover the rolled tortillas with the remainder of your enchilada sauce. Then top with the remaining finely grated cheese.
Cover with tinfoil and bake for 20 minutes until the sauce is nice and bubbly. Remove foil and bake uncovered for 5 more minutes or until the cheese melts.
Top with vegan crema, cilantro, green onion, and diced tomatoes.
Enjoy!
Red Enchilada Sauce:
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp Mexican Oregano
1 1/2 cups tomato sauce
3/4 cup low-sodium vegetable broth
1/2 teaspoon chipotle chile powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 chipotle chile in adobo sauce, chopped
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Add the oil in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat and saute the garlic until it is fragrant about 30 seconds.
Add the tomato sauce, vegetable broth, chile powder, cumin, chipotle chiles, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low and simmer until slightly thickened, for 5 to 7 minutes.
In her book “Braiding Sweetgrass” Dr. Robin Wall Kimmerer talks about the use of pronouns in our culture.
To quote, “In the English language, we reserve the pronouns of personhood for human—he,” “she,” “they, “and not for animals, plants, and landscapes.” Animacy is the characteristic of a noun, dependent on its living or sentient nature, which affects grammatical features (it can modify verbs used with the noun, affect the noun’s declension, etc.). Simply put, animacy or animate translates into “the state of being alive.”
In most indigenous languages, such barriers between human animals and everything else do not exist. They believe we are all from the same creator and there is no hierarchy, only equality. Most lifeforms exist harmoniously, even intentionally, to sustain the whole. Trees send nutrients to other ailing trees via an underground network called a “mycorrhizal network.” The wetlands created by beaver dams hold an astounding amount of carbon dioxide. The existing beaver ponds in America store an estimated 470,000 tons of carbon a year. Butterflies and other creatures help pollinate 80% of the world’s plants.
And to those who say that other animals are not intellectual, IQ tests have shown that a pig has the same intelligence as a three-year-old human child and often scores higher than dogs. We have given cats and dogs a special place only because they have been appropriated as our companions. Don’t even get me started on dolphins or whales.
And sadly, in a meat-based culture, when we talk about a baby pig, cow, or chicken, we use the inanimate word “it” and not “he or she” to describe the animal. Imagine calling another human being an “it.” It reminds me of a book I read years ago, Dan Pelzer’s “A Called It.” Calling a living being an “it” is dehumanizing and demoralizing, making it easier to destroy.
There is a reason most of our meat comes from hidden places. The CAFOs, or Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations, operate in the middle of nowhere. Companies like Tyson refuse to let the public see what goes on inside. Hidden cameras captured thousands of chickens suffering from untreated injuries, illnesses, and crippling leg deformities at this Tyson contract farm. The video shows countless birds crammed into filthy, windowless sheds and forced to live for weeks in their waste and toxic ammonia fumes.
And don’t even get me started on the environmental issues of eating meat. Tyson has been found guilty of criminal pollution on multiple occasions. For example, in Missouri in 2003, Tyson pled guilty to 20 felonies and paid $7.5 million for Clean Water Act violations. And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
Animal testing is also animal cruelty. You can make a difference when you buy products to ensure they are cruelty-free. Money is power. And where we choose to spend our money is our power. Just ask the rapidly declining dairy industry. According to the Good Food Institute (GFI), a nonprofit working to accelerate vegan alternatives to animal-based products, plant-based milk sales reached $1.9 billion in 2019. Dean Foods, the nation’s largest dairy producer, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last November after a yearslong decline in consumption.
We can make a difference, but first, we must recognize that there is no difference between humans and other animals. This is a flawed and selfish viewpoint that may well lead our planet to its sixth extinction.
What’s causing the sixth mass extinction?
Unlike previous extinction events caused by natural phenomena, the sixth mass extinction is driven by human activity, primarily (but not limited to) the unsustainable use of land, water, energy, and climate change. Currently, 40% of all land has been converted for food production. Agriculture is also responsible for 90% of global deforestation and accounts for 70% of the planet’s freshwater use, devastating the species that inhabit those places by significantly altering their habitats. It’s evident that where and how food is produced is one of the biggest human-caused threats to species extinction and our ecosystems. (1)
We must shift our way of thinking. We must do it soon. It’s only the first week of March here in Missouri, and the temperature will be 75°F today. My magnolia will bloom almost a full month early this year. It’s been warm all winter, and we’ve broken several weather records while other parts of the nation have experienced relentless and drastic episodes of snow or rain.
Sometimes I fear it’s too late, and we are lost like sheep heading off a cliff. We consume but give back very little. We take it because we think there is more. I am grateful to Robin for her beautiful book. To me, every day is Earth Day. And to Dr. Kimmerer, I will never look at a tree the same way. I will also promise to never take more than my share, never take more than half, and never the first or the last of anything in nature. I will continue to plant trees and flowers to attract pollinators. I will pick up trash and stop using plastic. I will continue to share the gift of veganism with the world. And finally, I will plant sweetgrass and braid it like it is the hair of mother earth.
The other day, the sports page reported that Chip Caray, grandson of the famed baseball announcer Harry Caray, will join Jim Edmonds in the broadcast booth for the St. Louis Cardinals. Ben Hochman is a sports writer for The St. Louis Post Dispatch and my favorite newspaper writer because he is more than just a journalist covering sports. He’s a storyteller. And he did a great job introducing St. Louis to its newest television announcer.
Harry Christopher “Chip” Caray III is more than just a chip off the old block (sorry, I had to) he’s also a homegrown Cardinals fan. Chip was born in St. Louis and knew the Cardinals starting line-up before he knew his ABCs. Super excited to have him here and ready for the boys of summer to return! And, as it turns out, he also worked at one of my favorite St. Louis institutions, the legendary Rich & Charlie’s Italian Restaurant.
Started by Richard Ronzio and Charlie Mugavero, the pair opened the original Rich & Charlie’s in St. Louis in 1967. It is a local legend, and ask anyone who lives here, and they’ll tell you it’s not just their delicious food; the close-knit family-style atmosphere keeps them coming back!
The flavors of their fresh Rich & Charlie’s Famous House Salad with its rich and creamy Italian style dressing are forever imprinted in my brain. The salad is that good, too. But what sticks out most in my memory is their Pasta Con Broccoli.
The recipe is super simple, too! The flavors combine to create a savory and deeply satisfying weeknight meal! And nobody will believe that it took less than 30 minutes to make! A couple of quick notes, you will blanch the broccoli with the pasta water. This saves an extra step, water, and another dirty pan.
Finally, most recipes for this dish do not use wine to deglaze, but I think it adds a depth of flavor you don’t get otherwise. That said, you can skip this step if you choose. If you’d like to get this flavor but don’t want to use wine, feel free to use 1/8 cup water mixed with 1/8 cup white wine vinegar (no alcohol), and you will achieve nearly the same thing.
I dedicate this to my cousin Lauren Roller whose beauty is only matched by her kindness! This is for you, sweet girl! Love you.
1 package pasta shells — cooked al dente and drained
3 tablespoons vegan butter
1/2 cup white wine
1 medium shallot, minced
2 cups plant-based whipping cream
1/4 cup tomato sauce
1 head of fresh broccoli cut into bite-sized pieces
8 oz of button or crimini mushrooms, sliced
1 cup vegan Parmesan cheese — grated
Salt and pepper — to taste
Garlic powder — to taste
Instructions
In a medium saucepan, cook pasta al dente (i.e., pull about 3 minutes before package directions)
While pasta is cooking, warm a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add butter. When the butter is almost done foaming* add shallot. Saute for 2-3 minutes. Add garlic and saute until fragrant—about 30 seconds. Reduce heat to medium.
Add mushrooms. Saute mushrooms until golden brown. About 7-8 minutes.
Add seasonings to taste.
Add 1/2 white wine and deglaze pan. (Optional)
When the wine has evaporated, add heavy whipping cream.
Add tomato paste. Stir and mix well.
Add parmesan cheese. Remove from heat. The mixture will thicken as it sits.
Taste for salt and pepper.
When pasta is 4 minutes from being done, add broccoli and blanch for 1 minute. Remove 1/2 cup of pasta water and set aside. Drain pasta and broccoli. (I use a spider to remove mine from the water).
Add pasta and broccoli to the sauce, return to medium heat, and cook for 3 minutes. If the mixture is too thick, add 1/2 pasta water. If it’s okay, you do not need to use this water.
Add pasta to the bowl and garnish with additional parmesan cheese.
Enjoy!
Notes
*This indicates that all the water in the butter has evaporated, and the temperature can rise above the water’s boiling point of 212 degrees. Shallots and mushrooms both contain a lot of water. Removing water from the butter will help the shallots and mushrooms release their flavor and brown.
Nutrition
Serving Size:4-6
In a medium saucepan, cook pasta al dente (i.e., pull about 3 minutes before package directions)
Warm a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add butter. Melt butter, and when the butter is almost done foaming* add shallot. Saute for 2-3 minutes. Add garlic and saute until garlic is fragrant—about 30 seconds. Reduce heat to medium.
Add mushrooms. Saute mushrooms until golden brown.
Add 1/2 white wine and deglaze pan.
Saute ingredients over medium-low heat. Add seasonings to taste.
When the wine has evaporated, add heavy whipping cream.
Add tomato paste. Stir and mix well.
Add parmesan cheese. Remove from heat. The mixture will thicken as it sits.
Taste for salt and pepper.
When pasta is 4 minutes from being done, add broccoli and blanch for 1 minute. Remove 1/2 cup of pasta water and set aside. Drain pasta and broccoli. (I use a spider to remove mine from the water).
Add pasta and broccoli to the sauce, return to medium heat, and cook for 3 minutes. If the mixture is too thick, add 1/2 pasta water. If it’s okay, you do not need to use this water.
Add pasta to the bowl and garnish with additional parmesan cheese.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that Mexican food is my most favorite food on earth. I love the vibrant colors, authentic flavors, and bold spices of nearly every dish I’ve ever had. In the Mexican culture, food is an important part of their identity, symbolizing the significance of family and tradition.
As a vegan, beans are a staple in my diet. As a fan of Mexican cuisine, bean recipes are varied and plentiful! Black beans, pinto beans, fried or refried, served in soups, stews, tostadas, burritos, enchiladas, tacos, dips, molletes (think bruschetta), tetelas (stuffed masa cakes), tamales, nachos the list honestly goes on and on. There is no shortage of delicious, flavorful recipes.
So, when my friend Kathy asked me if I had a recipe for Charros (Mexican Cowboy beans), I jumped to it! The traditional dish comprises pinto beans stewed with onion, garlic, and bacon. We will use vegan chorizo, and our bacon is smoky breadcrumbs. I love this recipe so much!
The key to making good beans is often a slow and gentle process. Cooking beans too fast can mean they are not cooked evenly and can be a bit chewy instead of creamy. Herbs and spices can be added at any cooking stage, and I like to give my beans a good salting while they are soaking.
Here are a few more tips:
Buy fresh beans. I cannot stress this enough. Old beans in the pantry or from a dusty old store shelf should be avoided at all costs. Old, dried beans are less flavorful and become tougher. It’s hard to get that soft creaminess you want. Trust me on this. Beans that have been around for too long will be cracked, chipped, and can even be split open.
Add herbs and spices at any time but be sure to add some at the end of cooking. Herbs/spices added too early can lose flavor during their long cook time.
Adding acids (lemon/lime juice, vinegar) to your beans is fantastic! It brightens the flavors of your dish, but just be sure to add it at the end, as acids can prevent beans from becoming tender.
Simmer your beans. With about 2-3” covering them, bring beans to a boil. Reduce heat and over. You want a slow, steady simmer and then cover them. The gentler the cooking, the better the beans will cook evenly and hold their shape. Cook them too fast, and they can burst out of their skins! Patience is key.
Add fat. I cannot stress this point enough. Fat adds depth, compliments other dishes’ flavors, and makes your beans super creamy!
I always finish my beans with a drizzle of olive oil in the bowl before serving! As always, let me know how you like them, and tag me!
2 tablespoons bacon flavored oil (vegan), or olive oil and 1/8 teaspoon liquid smoke
Instructions
Clean and soak beans overnight (add 1 teaspoon of salt to water)*
The next day, remove any additional debris from the beans.
Add beans to a large dutch oven with 8 cups water and salt. Bring beans to a boil and reduce heat. You do not want a rapid boil.***
Skim any foam from the top of the beans. **
Cook beans for approximately 2.5 hours on low. Taste for tenderness around the 2-hour mark.
Heat a medium skillet over medium heat in the last 15 minutes of bean cook time.
When the oil shimmers, add onions and peppers. Saute until onion begins to soften and turn opaque about 7-8 minutes.
Add garlic and saute until it becomes fragrant about 30 seconds. Add spices (except cilantro) and stir well.
Add diced tomatoes and chipotle pepper. Add chorizo and cook until browned. Cook for about 5-7 minutes. If the ingredients begin to stick, add 2 tablespoons of stock or water and deglaze. Taste for seasoning.
Taste beans for doneness. Add tomato/pepper mixture to the beans if they are almost ready. Stir well to incorporate. Top beans with 1/3 cup of olive oil or other rendered fat.
Add cilantro and cover, and cook for 20-30 minutes.
While the beans are in the final cooking stage, pulse breadcrumbs in a blender or food processor. Do not over-process. You want medium size bread crumbs.
Add 2 tablespoons of bacon-flavored oil (or olive oil and liquid smoke) in a small skillet, and when oil is shimmering, add breadcrumbs. Cook over medium heat until bread crumbs have browned. About 4 minutes. Do not let them burn.
When beans are done, taste for seasoning. They may need more salt. Remove the strings of cilantro.
Add beans to a bowl and top with bread crumbs and minced cilantro to serve. I drizzled with a little bit more olive oil to finish.
Enjoy!
Notes
*Add to a colander to rinse, then add to a pot and fill with water. Pick out any rocks or beans that are broken. Much of the debris should float.
**This is referred to as “scum.” The scum has some amino acids and impurities, which could include toxins.
***Slowly cooked beans equal tender, creamy, and evenly cooked beans.
It is said that Pasta Alla Vodka originated at Orsini Restaurant in New York, where it is believed that Chef Luigi Franzese invented the dish in the 1970s. Although there are often conflicting claims to the invention and history of the dish, one author claims that it was invented at Dante, a restaurant in Bologna, Italy.
Most recipes that call for alcohol—wine, beer, or a spirit—do so because of the respective flavor that gets added. Not so for vodka. Vodka sauce is a pink sauce with a splash of booze that exists somewhere between a tomato sauce and an Alfredo sauce. Denser milk products (such as cream) can separate, especially when an acid (like tomatoes) is introduced.
Vodka acts as an emulsifier, bonding water and fat together until they exist in smooth harmony preventing the cream from separating. This is the same principle at work when you add dijon mustard to a vinaigrette to keep your oil from separating from your vinegar. And because vodka is an excellent solvent (alcohol is the catalyst in bitters, tinctures, elixirs, and many herbal cure-alls), it extracts flavors and aromas from herbs and spices where water alone can’t.
“Vodka adds depth to a sauce both by pulling out the additional flavor and concentrating others without adding a flavor of its own,” says Bart Saracino, co-owner of Bartolino’s Restaurants in St. Louis.
So should you use a cheap or expensive vodka? Don’t skimp because you’ll likely be the one to drink the rest of the bottle. I drove to Defiance, Missouri, to grab a bottle of Judgment Tree Vodka from my sweet friend Chris Lorch. Chris is the co-founder of the Distillery of Defiance and the head winemaker for Sugar Creek Winery. I have known Chris since college and am lucky to run into him every once in a while! His place in Defiance is warm and inviting. And his vodka, made from grapes, has a refined smoothness and distinct but subtle nuances and complexities.
Judgment Tree is a historical reference in these parts and is an homage to the great explorer and pioneer Daniel Boone. When Boone moved to Missouri, he settled in the township of Defiance near the Missouri River and the Femme Osage District. In June of 1800, Daniel was appointed to the position of Spanish Commandant of the Femme Osage District. At that time, his district was a region running indefinitely west and north along the north side of the Missouri River.
In this role, Boone acted as the district’s civil administrator and military commander, as well as having the dual role of Spanish Syndic (Judge) of civil disputes. In his role, he held court under the large elm “Boone Judgment Tree.” (1)
As always, tag me if you make it, and let me know what you think! And if you’re from St. Louis or ever in town visiting, be sure to head out to Defiance, stop by the Judgment Tree memorial, and stop in and see Chris. Tell him Stephanie sent you!
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese, plus more for serving (I used Violife)
Instructions
Fill a stock pot or other large pot three-quarters full with water and heat over high. Toss in a handful of salt and bring the water to a boil. Add pasta. Cook pasta al dente. This usually is about 2 minutes before full cooking time. When the pasta is done, do NOT drain the pasta water.
Firmly smash 4 garlic cloves with the flat side of a chef’s knife and remove the peel. Carefully slice into thin slices.
Heat butter in a large saute pan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring constantly, until onion starts to brown around the edges, for 5–7 minutes.
Add the entire 4.5-oz. tube of tomato paste and red pepper flakes. Stir until paste evenly coats onion. Continue to cook. Stirring often until the paste is deep red and starting to brown on the bottom of the pot, 5–7 minutes.
Add vodka and balsamic vinegar to deglaze the pan, scrape the bottom well, and stir. Add tomatoes and cook for about 10 minutes.
Remove from heat and add 1 cup of the pasta water. Stir well.
Transfer tomato mixture to a food processor or blender, and add basil and purée until smooth. Return the sauce to the pan.
Add 1/4 cup of warm pasta water to your cream to keep it from breaking apart. Add warmed cream to the vodka sauce.
Cook until warmed through, about 2-3 minutes. Stir in parmesan cheese and then use a spider or a slotted spoon to remove pasta from the water and add to the sauce.
Toss to combine.
Serve immediately with an additional sprinkle of cheese and basil, if desired.
Have you ever had ricotta toast? It’s a simple recipe with lots of variations. It all starts with a slice of quality fresh bread, a delicious dollop of ricotta cheese, and a range of topping options. You can make sweet and savory ricotta toast, from burst tomatoes with basil to fig jam with pistachios and rosemary.
This recipe is one of my favorites, topped with charred broccoli and red pepper flakes! Simple, but delicous. I made mine in our pizza oven to give it a slightly smoky and sweet taste! If using the pizza oven, be sure to have the fire scorching and a stone warming in the oven. I slid my toasts off onto the hot stone using a pizza peel. I used oven-proof gloves and bbq tongs to remove each slice vs. trying to use the peel to remove them. Trust me; this is the easiest way!
The cheese was perfectly melted, the broccoli was lightly caramelized, and the toasts were crisp on the outside but still soft and chewy on the inside! I had to wrap them up so I wouldn’t eat them all!
If you make them tag me and let me know how you like them! You can also drizzle with some agave nectar to finish them off!
Place racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven; preheat to 400°F. Or, heat a pizza oven to a temperature.
Arrange bread slices in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet or pizza peel and brush one side of each piece with oil.
Spoon 2-3 tablespoons of ricotta on each slide. Toss broccoli and garlic in a bowl and drizzle with the remaining oil. Season generously with salt and toss to combine.
Place seasoned broccoli on the ricotta toast. Top with vegan parmesan.
Add to oven or pizza oven and bake until crisp, 10–12 minutes. If using a pizza oven, you will need to rotate the toasts at least once to prevent burning.
Before all of the wonderful plant-based products on the shelf these days, if I wanted ricotta cheese, I had to make it myself. It was one of the recipes that I learned how to make in culinary school.
Lately, the cost of my favorite ricotta has gone from reasonable to ridiculous. I just cannot pay nearly $10.00 for an 8 oz container of ricotta when I can easily make it for half the price. If you don’t have a food processor, do not fret! You can easily make it the old-fashioned way in a bowl and mash the tofu with a fork.
I love it as a spread on toast with fresh or roasted veggies! It’s terrific for breakfast, lunch, or dinner! Frankly, the possibilities are endless!
This tofu ricotta is easy to assemble and tastes much like milk-based ricotta! You can also add fresh herbs like basil or oregano. Add 1/4 cup of canned pumpkin and some fresh nutmeg, and make my stuffed shells!
Used as a spread or a dip, this is wonderful in pasta or on toast!
Ingredients
Scale
1 block of extra firm tofu (12 oz), finely crumbled (no need to press)
2 tablespoons tahini
2 1/2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1 tablespoon neutral oil; olive or grapeseed oil
2 1/2 tbsp shallot, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp lemon zest
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper
Instructions
Drain tofu. I didn’t press mine but did hand squeeze a lot of the water out.
Add the crumbled tofu, tahini, nutritional yeast, and shallot to a food processor.
Pulse it in the food processor. Don’t let the food processor run. You don’t want this to turn into a paste. Just pulse it a few times until your ricotta is chunky.
Remove tofu from the processor and add to a bowl.
Add the garlic, lemon zest, and lemon juice.
Slowly drizzle oil, and mix well.
Stir and add sea salt and freshly ground pepper.
Enjoy!
Notes
This freezes super well! The texture may even get better after freezing and thawing. Freeze it in a freezer-safe container for up to 3 months. Thaw in the fridge and enjoy as usual.
I love these Collard Wraps wraps! And since I’m already slicing and dicing, I typically double the recipe and use the extra filling for salads or buddha bowls. I am also re-committing to a 100% gluten-free diet. Therefore, I decided to use greens instead of a traditional grain wrap.
In case you didn’t know, collard green belongs to the same family as kale, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, and bok choy. Collard greens are nutrient-dense and low in calories. They’re an excellent source of calcium, folate, and vitamins K, C, and A. Furthermore, they’re high in fiber and antioxidants.
These veggie wraps are packed with high-quality protein, thanks to the quinoa. This naturally gluten-free grain is considered a superfood because it’s a powerhouse of nutrition. Quinoa contains all nine essential amino acids and lends seven grams of hearty protein per serving. I made hummus with quinoa because it seemed like a good pairing! Here are some quick tips for cooking quinoa (pronounced keen-wah).
Rinse the quinoa. I usually only do this with other grains, like rice. But it is 100% necessary when cooking quinoa from scratch. You run the risk of having crunchy quinoa if you don’t.
Cooking the quinoa in vegetable broth gives it much more flavor.
Modify the recipe to your liking by using the vegetables of your choice. I suggest using sliced tomatoes instead of the red pepper, swapping kale for the spinach, or adding a few crisp radishes. And vegan feta instead of avocado also gives it a delicious creamy bite! The best part, though, is the Thai Peanut Sauce!
Substitute any veggies you have on hand, such as sun-dried tomatoes, red peppers, spinach or romaine lettuce.
Ingredients
Scale
1 red pepper, cut into thin strips
1–2 carrots, julienned or cut into thin strips
1 English cucumber, diced
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1 avocado, cut into long strips
2–4 green onions, cut lengthwise (green part only)
1/4 head purple cabbage, shredded
1/4 cup sprouts or microgreens
1/2 cup quinoa hummus
1/4 cup cilantro, spinach, Thai basil, and/or mint, chopped
4 large collard leaves
Instructions
Collards:
Wash and dry collard leaves.
Cut the stem off the collard green leaf and then carefully shave it down using a small knife so it’s flat. This will help prevent the collard leaf from breaking at the end and make it easier to roll up.
Add water to a large pot and bring to a boil.
Add 1 Collard leaf to the simmering water, gently holding the leaf down with tongs so the leaf is submerged.
Simmer each leaf for 30-60 seconds. Don’t go any longer, or the leaf will become more flimsy and tend to rip.
Remove the leaf and immediately place it in a bowl of iced water.
Submerge the leaf for 10 seconds in an ice bath.
Remove and place on paper towels to dry.
Wraps:
To assemble wraps, lay collard on a flat surface and place quinoa hummus in the first half of the wrap.
Add ingredients based on the size of the collard leaf, being careful not to overfill. A good rule of thumb is about 1-2″ inches wide.
Carefully wrap it using the tuck and roll method like a burrito. (There are some excellent YouTube videos out there!)
Continue until all collards are filled.
Enjoy!
Notes
Always place all the filling in the tortilla’s first half, closest to your hand, not the center. That way, you have more surface area to cover the filling.
Easy and delicious this sauce keeps in the fridge for up to 7 days. I love it as a dipping sauce for my collard wraps, as a dressing over my favorite Asian-inspired buddha bowl, or on my tofu satay.
Perfect for wraps, sandwiches, or as a dip, this quinoa hummus packs some protein! I added a roasted red pepper to this recipe for my collard wraps! Feel free to get creative with this one!
Growing up in a southern family, eating black-eyed peas was a part of every Sunday meal at our house. I don’t remember, but I’m sure Grandma opened a can of beans, threw in a ham bone, added some salt, and called it dinner! My recipe has evolved over the years, and this one is my favorite! This vegan version pays homage to my New Orleans side of the family, and its creole influence lends a rich, creamy, and super-smoky deliciousness!
Though called a pea, black-eyed peas are a variety of cowpea and are technically a bean. In the South, this dish is referred to as Hoppin’ John, and while a traditional Hoppin’ John is made with bacon, a ham hock, or fatback, this vegan version uses liquid smoke.
It is customary to make black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day for good luck and prosperity for the New Year in southern culture. Served with greens (collards, mustard, or turnip greens, which vary regionally), the peas represent coins, and the greens represent paper money. Cornbread is often served with black-eyed peas and greens, representing gold.
Serve over rice with a piece of cornbread, and enjoy! Oh, and don’t forget the hot sauce!
I like to use dried beans because most canned black-eyed peas are simmered in a ham broth. Or they contain Disodium EDTA, which is a preservative used to promote color retention. It is synthesized from ethylenediamine, formaldehyde, and sodium cyanide. EEK! But you can use canned beans in a pinch, or if you don’t want to wait! When I used canned beans of any kind, I like to use the Eden Organic brand.
Rinse dried black-eyed pea beans, pick through and discard any debris or bad beans. Add beans to a stockpot and bring to a boil. Boil for 5 minutes and remove from heat. Cover and let sit for 1-2 hours.
Warm a large, heavy skillet (I use cast iron), add 2 tbsp oil. When the oil is shimmering, add onions, bell pepper, celery, garlic, and jalapeños, sauté the mixture for 3-5 minutes. Add voodoo seasoning mix. Sauté until mixture has softened, about 3 minutes.
Add vegetable stock, tomatoes, tomato paste, and bay leaf.
Drain the soaked beans, rinse, and add the beans to the pot.
Reduce heat to a simmer, add liquid smoke, and cook, uncovered, for about 20 minutes.
At this point, if using, add collard greens, and cook for 5 more minutes, stirring occasionally,
Cook until beans are tender and slightly thickened.
Add more stock or water if the mixture becomes dry and thick. The texture of the beans should be thick, somewhat creamy but not watery.
Remove the bay leaves.
Taste and adjust for seasonings with pepper, seasoning, and salt if needed. Serve over cooked rice and garnish with green onion.
Sometimes when the inspiration hits, I go a little crazy in the kitchen. It is the most wonderful feeling not to follow a recipe and just go where your crisper drawer takes you. This last weekend I had a lot of root veggies begging to be used. I also went to Whole Foods and found a fantastic variety of products I couldn’t get at my local grocery store. My favorite was the bunch of dandelion greens!
I had just made a quiche with a so-so potato crust that, unfortunately, stuck to the bottom of the pan. Root vegetables are high in starch, and when cooked, they slowly release sugar, and the sugar makes them sticky. After thinking about it for a bit, I tried cooking the potato crust very quickly, not giving them time to stick. Hence, the broiler! And guess what? It worked!
For this recipe, I used parsnips (the carrot’s favorite cousin), turnips, which, if you’ve never had them, I highly recommend getting some, and Yukon gold potatoes. I grated one large and one small turnip and three Yukons for my crust and added 1/2 cup grated vegan Parmesan cheese, 3 tablespoons of melted butter, and 1 teaspoon of Herbs de Provence. I broiled it in my 2.5 quart French Corningware for 8-10 minutes. But as with all things broiler, keep an eye on it. You want the potatoes very lightly browned.
For the filling, I made coconut bacon out of vegan bacon-flavored oil. Now, most of you won’t be able to find that, so here’s a quick link to Minimalist Baker’s quick and easy coconut bacon. I would suggest making this ahead of time. It stores well, and it’s nice to have on hand.
Finally, I peeled my potatoes. For this delicate and tender dish, I did not want the potato peel in my dish. And sometimes, when you simmer potatoes with the skins on, they fall off anyway. I like the Yukon golds for this dish because they are a little more dense and creamy!
Let me know if you made this dish and how you liked it!
1 bunch of tender greens (dandelion, spinach. watercress), washed.
Instructions
Preheat broiler.
In a 2.5″ deep casserole dish, add grated potatoes and grated turnips, parmesan cheese, and melted butter. Mix well and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon Herbs de Provence.
Carefully place the casserole dish in the broiler and bake for 8-10 minutes. As with all things broiled, keep a close eye on it. You want a light golden brown color. When done, remove from heat and set aside.
Reduce heat to 350°F (176°C).
While the casserole is in the oven, warm a medium skillet over medium heat. Add olive oil and when shimmering, add onion and poblano peppers and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cook until onions and peppers have softened, about 8 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute.
Add diced potatoes, turnips, and parsnips. Add the remaining teaspoon of Herbs de Provence.
Add stock. Cover and simmer on medium-low until root vegetables have softened, about 10-12 minutes. Stir occasionally and add more stock if vegetables begin to stick. When done, remove from heat.
While root vegetables are cooking, add 4 cups of water to a medium saucepan. Add salt and bring to a boil. Blanch greens in boiling water for about 3-4 minutes. Remove greens from the pan, and immediately add to greens to an ice bath.
Remove greens and add to a colander to remove excess water. Chop greens into bite-size pieces.
Warm a dutch oven over medium heat. Add olive oil and, when shimmering, coconut bacon. Add greens and saute until greens have released all water, about 4 minutes.
In a mixing bowl, add greens and root vegetable mixture and mix well. Season with salt and pepper.
Shake and add 1 1/2 containers of JustEgg and add to the mixing bowl. Mix well.
Pour vegetable mixture over potato crust and add to oven.
Bake for 35-40 minutes. Test with a toothpick at 35 minutes. If it comes out clean, it’s done.
Serve with tabasco or other hot sauce!
Notes
*To prevent food borne illnesses, always wash your fruits and vegetables even if you’re peeling them. Germs on the peel or skin can get inside fruits and vegetables when you cut them.
This soup’s got me in full fall mode. 🍂 I know it’s still warm out, but something about the cozy spices and creamy texture just made me want to light a candle and put on a sweater.
It’s the kind of soup that’s good hotorcold—perfect for these in-between days when it’s chilly in the morning but still 85° by lunch.
Fall’s always been my favorite season. I love the break from the heat, the colors, the slower pace… and definitely the food. Soups, stews, chili—all the warm things that make you feel hugged from the inside out.
This one’s not just tasty—it’s actually good for you, too. It’s full of warming spices like cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, black pepper, cardamom, and cayenne. These have been used for thousands of years to help with circulation and keeping your body warm and well during the cooler months. Plus the turmeric and ginger are both powerhouses when it comes to fighting inflammation and boosting immunity. And carrots? Loaded with all the good stuff.
The recipe makes 4–6 servings, but I doubled it because everyone went back for seconds—and there were zero leftovers. It keeps in the fridge for up to a week, but let’s be real… it probably won’t make it that long.
If you try it, let me know what you think. I love seeing your bowls!
If you love a creamy, hearty, flavor-packed bowl of soup, this carrot soup recipe is for you! The warming spices, coupled with garlic, and fresh ginger have the capability to increase your internal body temperature and improve blood circulation, thus giving you a sense of warmth during the chilly winter months.
Ingredients
Scale
3–4tablespoons vegan butter, or olive oil
1medium onion, roughly chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 pound carrots, peeled and cut into ½-inch slices (@5–6 large carrots, 8–10 medium)
1 1/2teaspoons peeled, grated fresh ginger
1 1/2teaspoons ground cumin
1 1/2teaspoons ground turmeric
11/2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cardamom
4Tablespoonsred Thai curry paste
3 1/2cups low sodium vegetable stock
1 1/2 cups unsweetened full-fat coconut milk
Juice from 1 lime
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Cilantro or parsley, minced (garnish)
Sourdough croutons (garnish)
Instructions
Heat butter in a dutch oven over medium-heat until the foam subsides. If using oil, heat until oil is translucent. Add onions, sprinkle with salt, and stir to coat. Add carrots, ginger, and all spices. Stir and cook until vegetables are softened, about 10 minutes. Add garlic and curry paste, and cook for about 1 minute.
Add the stock; add enough liquid should cover the vegetables. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce to medium-low heat and cover, cooking until the carrots are cooked through, about 10 to 15 minutes. Be sure to test the thickest one to ensure it’s cooked through.
If you have an immersion blender, purée the soup in the pot. If not, wait until the soup cools slightly, and purée in a blender. Be sure to hold the lid of the blender with a kitchen towel. *A hot liquid at high speed is volatile, and the lid can fly off.
Return the mixture to the dutch oven and add coconut milk and lime juice.
Adjust the seasonings (depending on your stock, you may need more or less salt) and lime juice to taste.
Garnish, serve, and enjoy!
Notes
*I added more salt, pepper, and coriander at the end.
A few weeks ago, I was asked to create vegan, gluten-free, nut-free meals for a woman and her family of five. One of the trickiest things to make without nuts is cheese! Cashews and almonds are staples in most plant-based versions—but not this one.
This recipe starts with flour and comes together like a classic béchamel, but with a plant-based twist—nutritional yeast, seasonings, and a little creativity. You can make it as thick or as thin as you want:
For a dip, skip the stock or use just a splash.
For a drizzle(like on enchiladas, nachos, or roasted veggies), use all the stock.
It also makes an amazing base forbroccoli “cheddar” soup, or drizzled over aveggie scramble.
I make mine gluten-free with a1:1 gluten-free flour blend, but if you’re good with wheat, go for it! I’m part of the unlucky 5% who have a true wheat allergyanda gluten sensitivity. Gluten can be inflammatory for some of us—it’s a super sticky protein that our bodies sometimes just can’t process well.
For a little kick, I addedgreen Tabascoto mine, and the dip disappeared within hours! Green Tabasco is milder than the original, and I use it on everything—even popcorn.
Anyway, enjoy this one! It’s simple, flexible, and family-approved. When you make it, tag me and let me know what you think.
I love this recipe and I think you will too! It is super good with a few dashes of green tabasco!
Ingredients
Scale
3 Tbsp vegan butter
4 cloves garlic, minced (about 4 cloves)
4 Tbsp gluten free 1-1 all-purpose flour*
1 3/4 – 2 cups unsweetened plant-based milk
2 – 2 ½ cups vegetable stock
5 Tbsp nutritional yeast
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp chili powder
4 Tbsp mild green chilis (optional)
1 Tbsp green Tabasco
½ Tbsp maple syrup or organic cane sugar
Instructions
Heat large skillet or saucepan over medium heat. Once hot, add butter and let it melt and start to sizzle – about 1 minute.
Add minced garlic. Cook for about 1 minute, or until fragrant.
Add flour 1 Tbsp at a time and whisk. (Don’t worry if it’s a little lumpy).
Cook for 1 minute, then whisk in milk slowly. Stirring constantly.
Add vegetable stock and whisk until smooth. Bring to a low boil.
Add nutritional yeast, salt, cumin, chili powder, maple syrup, and green chilis, and tabasco, if using.
Taste and adjust seasonings as needed, adding more nutritional yeast for extra cheesiness, salt or tabasco for savoriness, or sweetener for flavor balance.
Garnish with red pepper flakes and fresh cilantro or pico de gallo. Enjoy with chips, or atop Mexican dishes, such as nachos, enchiladas, or tacos!
Store leftovers in a glass jar or container in the refrigerator up to 4-5 days. Reheat in the microwave or in a small saucepan over medium heat. Best when fresh.
Notes
*Makes a great Queso dip! You can use it in a crockpot but be sure to keep a cup of stock nearby so you can add to it as the dip may thicken with the heat.
When he was three years old, my son was diagnosed with Asperger’s, a variant on the autism spectrum. By the time he was five, I had read everything I could get my hands on about what they (at the time) referred to as Asperger’s Syndrome. “A syndrome is a recognizable complex set of symptoms and physical findings which indicate a specific condition for which a direct cause is not necessarily understood.” Though I suspect there is a direct correlation between agent orange exposure in Vietnam War veterans and the rise in Autism among their grandchildren.
Asperger’s is generally marked by:
Emotional Sensitivity.
Fixation on Particular Subjects or Ideas.
Linguistic Oddities.
Social Difficulties.
Problems Processing Physical Sensations.
Devotion to Routines.
Development of Repetitive or Restrictive Habits.
Dislike of Change.
There also tends to be a co-morbidity between mood disorders like anxiety and depression and behavior disorders like attention deficit disorder (ADD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). And please note, in this context, the word behavior is defined as a particular way of functioning (i.e., can’t focus) versus how a person chooses to conduct themselves.
When Covid hit and schools closed, I became Jason’s teacher. I then realized how far behind he was academically. Unfortunately, he is not only cognitively impaired but also socially impaired. And because of it, he was being bullied at school.
He often ate alone at lunch (he later told me it was easier because he didn’t have to worry about what to say). He likes quoting Francis Ford Coppola movies (Apocalypse Now is his favorite movie) and telling you the specifics of various World War 2 military battles. And let me tell you, those are not exactly great 6th-grade conversation starters.
And then, one day, a girl asked him if he’d be her boyfriend. I knew this girl and his troubles with her in the past. I warned him, but he was thrilled. And when he said yes, she proceeded to mock him and joke to everyone that he would never stand a chance. As his mom, this hurt, of course, but I also believe in getting hard knocks out of the way early. The school handled the situation remarkably, and Jason learned fundamental lessons about the human condition.
I kept him home for the next two years and became the county’s least-paid full-time middle school teacher. And that’s when I realized how bad his attention deficit disorder was. Not being able to focus also caused us a lot of anxiety. But he also comes by his inability to concentrate, rightfully. I could’ve had this piece written in two hours, but I got up at least 12 different times to do 12 other things. The squirrels in my head are also fast! But I don’t like labels and told Jason that if he can harness his ADD, it can be his superpower.
We got ahead in school because we could stay with a topic until he “got” it. But I knew that was not possible in high school, where they covered a subject and moved on. I had held off on medicating him but knew his ability to focus was critical to his success. So, we did it, and he started meds over the summer. And academically, he’s doing great!
Thankfully we stopped his moodiness and outbursts when he was little with no meds needed. I read about the correlation between food and Autism and removed all dairy (specifically the casein protein) and gluten from his diet. There is a direct correlation between the severity of symptoms and these sticky proteins.
Anyway, high school has been great. He is good in math and bad (but getting better) with girls. He is also taking medication for anxiety (which he also gets from me) and for ADD. His grades are good, and he genuinely seems to be happy. Still, when he told me he had put his name in the ring for Homecoming court, my first thought was, “Aw, crap.”
My oldest, who loves her brother and wants nothing more than to protect him, pleaded with me to convince him not to run. But I told her that was not possible. He was way too excited. My only warning was to run a fair and well-mannered TikTok war with his opponent!
And guess what? He won and was elected to the freshman homecoming court. It turns out they were right. You are free to be yourself in high school, and nobody cares. Before he started high school this fall, he nobly reached out to the kids he had issues with in middle school and apologized. Those same kids have grown to know and embrace Jason and were instrumental in getting him the homecoming sash.
If I had discouraged him from running, I could have robbed him of his success, of getting the win. And what a shame that would’ve been. He came up to me after this picture was taken and told me it was the best night of his life! That made this momma smile and even cried a little.
We are in the season of all things pumpkin. I have friends who are rebelling and refuse to buy into the hype. Haters gonna hate. But as for me, I dive in headfirst! There is a reason everyone loves pumpkins! But unfortunately, it’s not for the autumnal gourds themselves, but for the spices that usually accompany them!
Last year on NPR’s Morning Edition, they spoke with Jason Fischer, a psychological and brain sciences professor at Johns Hopkins University. His team has been researching the science behind pumpkin spice’s appeal and found that it has a lot to do with how we associate smells and flavors with fall.
“Those associations, they form year after year. They also give us this sense of familiarity,” Fischer said. “And when you start to smell the pumpkin spice things in the stores again, it gives you a little feeling of nostalgia.”
Whatever the case, the smell of these muffins baking in the oven will evoke warm fuzzies! They are gluten-free, too! I used a 1:1 Gluten Free Flour mix and had excellent results. Just be sure it has xanthan gum, which helps bind the muffins, taking the place of gluten in the flour.
I also used brown sugar instead of white sugar and a pumpkin spice mix that I made myself. If you have ripe bananas, you can use them instead of egg substitutes. I did not have any on hand, so I used 1/2 cup of Just Egg, and it worked perfectly. You can also use 2 flax eggs if you prefer.
Who doesn’t love chocolate pumpkin muffins? These light and tasty treats are perfect for breakfast, or for an after school snack!
Ingredients
Scale
2 cups gluten free all purpose flour (I use Bob’s Red Mill GF All Purpose flour)
1 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar (makes them moist and less dense)
1/3 cup coconut oil
2 super ripe bananas, or 1/2 cup Just Egg* ( See note)
2/3 cup organic canned pumpkin
1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup dairy free vegan chocolate chips (I use Enjoy Life)
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 350°F (177° C)
Lightly grease your muffin tins or use muffin liners.
In a bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, salt and pumpkin pie spice.
In a separate bowl, mix the sugar and the oil. Add the mashed banana or Just Egg to the sugar mixture. Add canned pumpkin, and vanilla. When mixed well, fold in the chocolate chips.
Finally, add the flour, and mix everything well.
Evenly pour the batter into the muffin tins. Place in the oven for about 18-20 minutes if using GF flour. If using regular all-purpose flour, test at 20 minutes. Muffins are done when a toothpick comes out clean. If needed add more time ( 2-3 minutes at a time).
Fall is my favorite time of year! I love all things autumn, including the reprieve of cooler weather! Cool-weather means warm food, and this soup is a family favorite! I always keep the queso dip around, so for me, this whole meal is on the table in 25 minutes! No dairy and no oil. This soup is better for you than Panera and tastes just as good. You can also add a diced potato to this recipe and make a yummy broccoli potato soup! I hope you enjoy it!
Fall is my favorite time of year! I love all things autumn, including the reprieve of cooler weather! Cool-weather means warm food, and this soup is a family favorite! I always keep the queso dip around, so for me, this whole meal is on the table in 25 minutes! No dairy and no oil. This soup is better for you than Panera and tastes just as good. You can also add a diced potato to this recipe and make a yummy broccoli potato soup! I hope you enjoy it!
Heat dutch oven over medium heat. Saute onion and celery in ¼ C water until translucent, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Add carrots and broccoli, and stir.
Add the vegetable stock into the veggie mixture.
Gradually pour queso while stirring constantly.
Bring to a simmer; cook until thickened, and vegetables are tender about 20 minutes.
Taste for seasonings.
Enjoy!
Notes
If you wish to add potato, peel and medium dice one russet potato. Add to carrots and broccoli mixture, and simmer as directed.
I like to scrub my carrots and use the air fry the peels to use as a garnish! Toss peels in olive oil and air fry at 380°F for 5 minutes.
One of my “favorite book” recommendations is a book that I used to gift to my health coaching clients. It is called “The Mindful Diet How to Transform your Relationship with Food for Lasting Weight Loss and Vibrant Health (Wolver, Ruth, et al.,2015). The cover is a little tattered and torn, but no worse for wear, as they say! Deeply rooted in Psychology, I like it because it helps you understand your relationship with yourself–from many angles. And we, the readers, are gifted with tools and easy ways to create sustainable changes for a healthy life.
I am on day 4 of a 7-day detox, in which the first two days are an herbal liquid fast. When you don’t eat for 68 hours, it’s an easy way to understand and know your cravings! You can even write them down if you want. It’s an excellent way to check in with ourselves.
During this time of fasting, I realized that I had ebbed away from the things that brought me actual physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. I know how I feel when I take care of myself in all those ways, And I also know what it feels like to neglect myself in those ways. Holistic health is the Tao of Happiness!
I have also decided to give up alcohol for the time being, if not forever. And not just because it’s awful for my body. My reflux and weight gain are directly correlated to my alcohol consumption. But I am rebelling against our cultural love of alcohol. Alcohol is poison. It is not medicine. Though I believe many people use it that way. It numbs, but it’s also death to more than just brain cells. I know someone in a coma RIGHT NOW because of a drunk driving incident.I saw a great quote: “Alcohol is the only drug that if you DON’T do it, people assume you have a problem. Now, that’s a problem. But it’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE!
And I want to fall in love with good nutrition again because guess what? It can also taste good! That idea is what made me want to become a professional chef. I also know that I want to eat good food and not just eat what tastes good. Oreos are vegan! And guess what? Our healthy tastebuds have been hijacked!
Our entire understanding of what to eat has been conflated and confused. We are disconnected between what goes in and what comes out of us! But no wonder we have commercials for “Arby’s—We got the meat.” The next damn commercial is for Lipitor or Viagra. I just read that the average 40-year-old takes two long-term prescription medications daily. It goes up A LOT the older we get. The number of pills my 82-year-old stepdad takes is staggering. Watch the documentary “Game Changers.”
Change is possible, but it is also incremental. One of the things that I always say is, “Think Evolution, not Revolution. Change takes practice. Like anything else, it takes a desire and effort, but pace yourself. I tend to take off quickly! Also, we need to get out of our way. My friend did the Hard 75. Her advice is, like Nike, “Just do it.” Hey, monkey mind, stop thinking about it and go do it already!
In psychology, we talk a lot about the mind all the time! But how many of us understand what it even is? Ha! Here’s a quick Psych 101 lesson. The first layer of our mind is the waking mind, also known as the chattery mind. It’s the always-thinking, mile-a-minute mind that likes to achieve satisfaction!
The second layer of our mind is our reactive mind. The “what do we do mind.” “Do I go home and fix dinner or run yourself through a drive-thru?” This is the judgmental mind that loops all of us! This mind can trick even the most experienced of us! “Eh, I’ll make dinner tomorrow night.”
And the third and final mind is the wise old owl mind. The mind simply does what it needs to do, even if it’s hard, because it knows it’s essential. It is also the practicing mind. Repetition and practice are what allow change to change us!
Excerpt from The Mindful Diet How to Transform your Relationship with Food for Lasting Weight Loss and Vibrant Health. Wolver, Ruth, et al., 2015
In effect, it is from this perspective that one can become a teaching mind. It takes discipline as well as desire to achieve “real” change. From now on, my hope is to share what I know. And I promise to practice what I teach. I love cooking. Food is life. But there is so much more to proper health and well-being than what we eat. Don’t worry. I’ll still share recipes because I will never stop cooking!
From this day forward, this space will be all-encompassing, holistic, and from a place of authenticity and selflessness. It’s not about me, yet it is about me. This is why I share my cooking videos, but I’m not in a bikini doing it! In fact, you’ll rarely see my face. I believe in plant medicine, and yes, I am pro-marijuana. I believe in moving and stretching the body, but I don’t think that has to be in a gym. I will explore topics in alternative medicine, psychology, and spirituality. I believe in a higher power. In practice, I am an omnist; I don’t believe there is one path to transcendence (though much of my practice is rooted in Buddhism), and I am not here to judge or deny anyone for their beliefs.
And as to the knowledge I share, I humbly say that most of what I know comes from standing on the shoulders of giants. Those brave souls paved the way for folks like you and me to know and grow! So you will often hear me reference doctors, researchers, educators, activists, mentors, and musicians. I will also share personal experiences and stories of my friends and me.
I am an ardent follower of people like Dr. Michael Greger, MD, Dr. Neal Barnard, MD, Dr. T. Colin Campbell, Ph.D.; and Dr. Stephen Cabral, ND.
I hope to impart wisdom and humor from great contemporaries like Maya Angelou and Matthew McConaughey (if you haven’t read his “Greenlights” book, ya gotta); and neuroscientist Andrew Huberman just to name a few.
Furthermore, I will reference activists like John Muir, Sierra Club, Peta…and THAT list goes on and on! Just a forewarning, tho, on the topics of animals and our planet, I’m going to be factual and blunt.
Finally, I encourage people to have reasonable, even heated, discussions! I am a very passionate person! And I love being in the scrum! But I will literally block people from my page if they cannot have a dignified and respectful conversation.
Helping others by helping ourselves is the best gift we can give the world.
It’s been a while! Hello everyone! I hope you had a wonderful summer! Mine was spent exactly how I envisioned it! I had lots of time in the water, spending time with loved ones and living my lazy best life! That said, I am ready for autumn! While I love living a Jeff Spicoli summer, “All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine,” around this time every summer, the wheels start coming off the bus. So now that the kids are heading back to school next week and Kevin is gone for the week, I will have the house all to myself for the first time in years. Years.
I am in a creative mood and hope to get the ball rolling on some new recipes. I am still working on some recipes for my cookbook and improving my food photography skills. I have just shy of 100 recipes written and photographed. It’s a pet project that I have been working on and want to finish by next Spring! I am pretty sure this Mushroom Carnitas recipe will be in the book!
The book is divided into sections and will be called “Vegan Around the World!” Recipes like Mushroom Empanadas, Sweet Potato Galette, Vegan Faux Gras, Chickpea Aloo Gobi, and Cajun Gumbo are sure to have a taste for every palate!
I have also dedicated several recipes to friends and family. One of my favorite vegan chefs is Joanne Lee Molinaro. I love her stories and how she weaves her culture into her recipes. I hope to share some of my philosophies regarding veganism, sustainability, and the science of health for not only us humans but also the health of the planet. I would also like to share some of my culinary instructions and advice. As someone who’s been in the culinary world in one form or another since the early 1990s, I can offer some easy substitutions and suggestions and maybe expand your culinary knowledge!
So, without further ado, let’s get to it! This Mushroom Carnitas recipe is nearly perfect. What does that mean exactly? Well, it has precisely 12 ingredients, it’s ready in under 30 minutes, and it is so good you will want to make enough for seconds. Promise!
I used two kinds of mushrooms for this recipe. There is a lot of flexibility in the mouthfeel for whatever type of mushroom you fancy. I used half king oyster mushrooms and portobellos, but you could also use shitakes, lions mane, really just about anything other than the small white button mushrooms. You want a nice “shreddable” mushroom. With a nice dusting of spices like cardamom, cumin, orange zest, and Mexican oregano, the carnitas are oven roasted for about 15 minutes.
I like to keep it simple. Much like the shredded pork variety, I used onions, jalapenos, garlic, and orange juice. I also like the addition of the vegan Worcestershire sauce, and you could even use a tiny amount (1/8 tsp) of liquid smoke if you like.
The Violife vegan feta is an excellent substitution for Mexican Queso Fresco. Highly recommend it! Add some pickled red onions, avocado, and fresh cilantro, and call it a day, mis amigos!
Preheat the oven to 400°F. (220°C) Prepare a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Clean and shred the mushrooms. Slice off the mushroom caps (if using oyster or portobello mushrooms) and gently pull them apart with your fingers. I like them approximately about 1/2 wide and 2 inches long. The important thing here is to ensure they’re all the same size. Add the mushrooms to a large mixing bowl and toss with the spices. Drizzle one tablespoon of olive oil and toss well.
Transfer the mushrooms to the prepared baking sheet and spread them out in an even layer.
Bake mushrooms for approximately 15 minutes. Check the around the 12-minute mark. They are not heavily coated with oil and can burn if you’re not careful.
While mushrooms are in the oven, cook onions and jalapeno. Warm a medium-size skillet over medium heat. When the pan is heated, add the remaining olive oil. When oil begins to shimmer, add onion and jalapeno. Saute for 7-8 minutes, or until vegetables start to soften. Add garlic and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add salt and pepper to taste. Remove from heat.
When mushrooms are done, add to the skillet with the onions and jalapeno. Mix well. Return pan to medium heat, and once warm, add orange juice, orange zest, and Worcestershire sauce. Saute until the liquid has almost evaporated, about 3-4 minutes.
While the mushrooms are cooking, warm a well-oiled comal or cast iron skillet over medium-high heat. You can also lightly spray the tortillas with spray oil. Add tortillas and cook until lightly browned, about 2-3 minutes per side.
While the mushrooms are done, remove them from heat.
Fill each taco with carnitas, and garnish with your favorite salsa, onion, avocado, and vegan feta!
This recipe is an oldie but goodie! It’s super easy and a perfect meal for summer. I love the mango salsa just by itself! Also, you can use butternut squash in place of the sweet potatoes, or papaya in place of the mango! The options are endless!
I have modified this amazing recipe because I am doing a Candida/Bacterial overgrowth protocol, and there are a lot of things I can’t have. However, this recipe came really close to checking off all the boxes and it is soooo good. But I must give all the credit to Food Faith Fitness for her mega talents in the kitchen! I’ve made a few modifications (chives for onions, cream of coconut for the full-fat coconut milk, and cut back on the oil).
1 large carrot, peeled and sliced, about a heaping 1/2 cup
1 small red bell pepper, sliced, about 1/2 cup
1 cup broccoli, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
½ tablespoon yellow curry powder
2 tablespoons cream of coconut (I found it in the liquor section of the store)
12 oz water
Pinch of salt
1 large sweet potato, spiraled
Mango Salsa:
1 mango, large, diced, about 3/4 cup
2 tablespoons chives
½ teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1 small jalapeno, minced
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes, adjust to the preferred level of spiciness
¼ cup fresh cilantro, plus additional for garnish
Pinch of salt
Directions
Heat 1/2 Tbsp coconut oil on medium/high heat and cook the carrots for about 3 minutes, until they begin to soften.
Turn the heat down to medium and add pepper, broccoli, onion and ginger. Cook until they begin to soften and brown, about 5 minutes.
Add in the 1/2 Tbsp of yellow curry powder and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute.
Add the cream of coconut and 12 oz water.
Add spiraled sweet potatoes.
Raise the heat to medium/high and bring the mixture to a boil. Once boiling, turn the heat down to medium/low heat and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the sauce begins to thicken.
Meanwhile, toss diced mango, chives, jalapeno, red pepper flakes, apple cider vinegar and cilantro in a medium bowl. Season with a pinch of salt.
Divide the noodles between two plates and top with the curry. Garnish with mango salsa and cilantro.
This bowl is a family favorite! I love the tofu cutlets, and the BBQ makes it sooooo good! Feel free to use whatever veggies you have on hand. The great thing about a bowl is that there is no wrong way to make it! I love the Southwest flair this dish has, and it makes a perfect weeknight dish!
You can make the cilantro lime rice ahead of time, and it helps when you have several things cooking at once. I used a smoky-sweet Kansas City-style BBQ sauce, but again, it’s your preference! This dish would also be great with coleslaw instead of rice! You could also go Korean style with some Gochujang, black rice, and baked cauliflower! The possibilities are endless!
As always, tag me if you make it and let me know how you liked it!
1 (15 oz) can Pinto beans, drained and rinsed well
1/2 cup vegetable stock
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp salt and pepper
Broccoli:
1 head of organic broccoli
3 Tbsp water
Pinch of red pepper flakes
Pinch of sea salt
Instructions
Marinade:
Place the soy sauce, olive oil, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and Montreal Seasoning in a blender.
Blend at high speed for 30 seconds until thoroughly mixed.
Bowl:
Preheat oven to 350° F.
When tofu is pressed, pat dry and lay flat. Cut tofu in half widthwise. Cut each piece in half again, and repeat once more until you have eight rectangles.
Place tofu in a non-reactive, preferably glass pan or bowl with a lid. Add marinade and coat well.
Refrigerate.
Allow tofu to marinate for at least 30 minutes, (up to 4 hours).
While tofu is marinating, make your Rice. * (See note)
When rice is done, warm a medium-size skillet over medium-high heat. When the pan is warm, add 2 tsp of olive oil.
When oil is shimming, add tofu and any marinade that is left over. Pan sear tofu until browned on each side. About 2-3 minutes per side.
When browned, remove the tofu and add to a parchment-lined baking sheet. Brush one side of the tofu with BBQ sauce and bake for 3-4 minutes. Remove from oven, flip tofu, brush the other side. Return to oven for 3-4 more minutes.
While tofu is in the oven, in a medium-size saucepan, add drained and rinsed pinto beans, 1/2 tsp salt and pepper each, 1/2 cup vegetable stock, and 1 tsp of cumin. Cook over medium heat until warmed through.
While beans are simmering, add broccoli to the same skillet you used to cook the tofu. Do not clean the pan first. You want the brown bits on the bottom of the pan. Cook broccoli with 3 Tbsp of water, a pinch of red pepper flakes, and sea salt, over medium-high heat for 4-5 minutes until bright and lightly browned.
Remove tofu from the oven and lightly brush each side with more BBQ Sauce.
Assemble bowl, Rice first, Broccoli, Beans, and add Tofu to Rice. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Are you looking for an easy appetizer? Well, who doesn’t love a good dip? Admittedly, it’s one of my guilty pleasures! And this recipe is the first to come to mind! I love all things dip, hummus, queso, cream cheese, and my vegan peppercorn ranch, but I especially love this Smoky Poblano Corn Dip! It’s delicious and gorgeous and will be a hit among your non-vegan friends and family.
I like to set it out and watch people gobble it up. They will often ask who made the corn dip and when they find out it was me, they are always amazed that it is 100% vegan!
I typically use poblano peppers for mine, but you can use anaheim or hatch peppers. And for reasons of sustainability, I also use Follow Your Heart sour cream because it contains no palm oil. I use R.W. Garcia chips because they are yummy, the family has a great story, their products are organic/non-GMO, and they are a sustainable climate pledge-friendly company.
As always, tag me and let me know how you like it!
A super yummy appetizer that will leave you wanting more! You can easily use frozen organic corn in place of corn cobs. I don’t recommend canned corn because it’s usually very high in sodium, it has a metallic taste, and it’s not fresh! Trust me on this one!
Ingredients
Scale
4 poblano, Anaheim, or hatch peppers
4 ears of corn, husks removed cut in half (about 2 cups)
5 scallions, green part only, thinly sliced on the bias (reserve 2 tablespoons)
On a prepared baking sheet, add the poblano peppers and roast for about 5 minutes, occasionally rotating until all sides are charred. Immediately place them in a medium bowl and cover them tightly with plastic wrap.
Warm a medium-size non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. When ready, add corn. Toast the corn cobs for about 10 minutes (2 1/2 minutes per side), allowing half of the kernels to get charred. Allow them to cool enough to handle, then cut the kernels off the cob with a sharp knife, place them in a large mixing bowl. (In a separate small bowl, reserve 1 tablespoon of corn for garnish)
Preheat oven to 450°F degrees.
When the poblanos have cooled, remove the stems, skin, seeds, and veins. Then chop them into ¼ inch pieces—Reserve 2 tablespoons of peppers for garnish and mince. Add to the small bowl of corn garnish. Then add the remaining peppers to the large mixing bowl of corn.
To the corn pepper mixture, add scallions, garlic, lime juice, chili lime seasoning, paprika, hot sauce, sour cream, softened cream cheese, and salt and pepper, mix well.
Transfer the mixture to a 10-inch cast-iron skillet or a 2-quart baking dish, and bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Remove when it is hot and bubbling around the edges of the pan.
Top with additional scallions, cilantro, corn poblano garnish, and a dash or two of smoked paprika. Serve with corn chips.
Enjoy!
Notes
*I use “Follow Your Heart” because it contains no palm oil.
Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans? I certainly do. It’s one of my favorite places on earth. It is the only place that I know of in the US with its own unique music, dialect, food, and cultural traditions like Mardi Gras that define the city. In fact, I wish I were in New Orleans for Mardi Gras this year.
It’s also a town that I happily eat my way through. Before becoming a vegan, I had a list of places to go and food to eat. Commander’s, Tujague’s, Antoine’s, Cafe Maspero, anywhere for a little Jambalaya, Crawfish Pie, and a Filé Gumbo! I’ve been able to replicate many of my favorite dishes except for one.
The last time I was there I had the best vegan crab cakes! Made from Heart of Palm instead of crab meat they were absolutely delectable! They were flakey, moist, and full of flavor.
The problem with hearts of palm.
Harvesting the “heart of palm” kills most palms. So wild harvesting can be very damaging if done on a widespread basis. The hearts of palm that I buy is the “Native Forest” brand. Here is a quote from their website—”Here we rely upon the Euterpe precatoria, or huasaí palm tree, which grows profusely throughout this vast Amazonian rainforest.
Long-term leases secure approximately 240,000 acres of pristine native forest for the wild hearts of palm ecological project, thereby protecting the land from any rain forest-destructive development. In addition to preserving the region’s ecology, this project brings needed employment to those who live deep in the Amazon basin, providing them the opportunity to work closer to their families and their ancestral homes.”
But not all brands are as conscientious as Native Forest, and it’s best to check. The Environmental Working Group’s page is an excellent resource for studying everything from sustainability to child labor and products that contain pesticides, GMOs, etc.
So back to the recipe! The hearts of palm are a perfect replacement for crab meat. These little gems are crispy on the outside and flaky and moist inside. My mother-in-law (who is not vegan) was utterly blown away! You can pan-fry, air fry or oven fry them, whatever your preference. Just be sure to heat your oven to the lowest setting and add them to the range to keep them warm. Serve with a side of corn maque choux and enjoy!
1 14-oz can chickpeas (reserve bean juice, aka aquafaba)
1 14-oz cans hearts of palm, chopped into large pieces
2 jalapenos, seeded and minced
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
½ sizeable red bell pepper, finely chopped
3 scallions, sliced thin
½ cup vegan mayonnaise
2 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning
1 tablespoon Creole (can also use spicy brown) mustard
½ cup panko bread crumbs + ½ cup more for coating
Salt and pepper
CREOLE RAVIGOTE
3 tablespoons of Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons of white wine vinegar
2/3 cup vegan mayonnaise
1 tablespoon of capers, chopped
1 cup of fresh parsley
1 teaspoon each of dried parsley, chervil, and tarragon
1 tablespoonCreole mustard or coarse ground spicy brown mustard
1 tablespoon prepared horseradish
1 tablespoon of shallots, finely chopped
salt
pepper
Instructions
Place the chickpeas in a food processor and pulse. Don’t over process just enough to break them down. Remove from food processor and set aside.
Repeat process with hearts of palm. You want a crab-like texture. Do not over-process. Remove and set aside.
Dice jalapenos.
Add chickpeas, hearts of palm, and jalapeños to a large bowl. Add celery, bell pepper, and scallions. Mix well to combine.
In a separate bowl, whisk 1/4 cup of the reserved chickpea liquid until foaming – this will take a few minutes. Add all remaining ingredients except bread crumbs. Stir well to combine.
Add liquid mixture to crab cake mixture and mix well. You may need to use your hands. Add breadcrumbs and season with salt and pepper.
On a lined baking sheet, form the mixture into 2” balls and flatten with a spatula or your hand.
Chill cakes, uncovered, for ½ hour to help set.
Place the remaining ½ cup of panko in a shallow dish.
Coat each cake with the remaining panko. Lightly brush with remaining aquafaba.
Heat an oil-coated skillet on medium-high heat.
Lightly pan fry for 3 minutes on each side. (You can also air fry for 10 minutes at 400°).
Do this with the remaining mixture. I usually fit 4-5 patties on the skillet at a time. When they are cooked, transfer them to a plate covered with a paper towel.
Serve with a dollop of the Ravigote. lemon wedge, and fresh greens.
CREOLE RAVIGOTE
Add all ingredients to a blender and mix until smooth.
If you’re like me and you like your Ravigote sauce extra spicy, you can add cayenne pepper to taste.
This is a super easy recipe for making corn tortillas! I like the blue corn masa harina because it contains 20% more protein than its white corn counterparts. It is also gluten-free and has less starch and a lower glycemic index (GI) than white or yellow corn. Like blueberries, blue corn contains naturally occurring anthocyanin. Anthocyanin is the pigment that makes a plant or grain blue, red, purple, or black. These richly colored foods are high in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties!
Once you make homemade tortillas, I promise you’ll never want to use storebought tortillas again! You can use masa harina for making tortillas, tamales, gorditas, corn chips, enchiladas and sopes! You don’t need a tortilla press, but they are super handy, especially if you’re like me and use a lot of tortillas. You will want to buy one.
It is essential to follow these directions implicitly. While the ingredients are simple, the process is precise. A few things to note– do not press the tortilla too hard, or it will smear. And remove the parchment from the tortilla and not the tortilla from the parchment. This prevents the tortilla from tearing. I typically remove the top sheet of parchment, place the dough side down on the comal, and carefully remove the second sheet. If the dough sticks to the parchment, spray with a tiny bit of oil.
Warm a cast-iron skillet or a comal over medium heat. Prepare a clean kitchen towel to wrap tortillas to keep them warm and cut 2 10×10-inch sheets of parchment paper.
Add masa to a medium-size bowl and, using your fingers, add just enough water until well combined.* (See note).
Knead the dough well (about 5 minutes) and roll into a large ball. Cut it in half lengthwise. Cut each dough half in half lengthwise once more. Finally, cut each half in half widthwise a final time, so you have 8 small pieces of dough.
Roll each piece of dough into a ball, place it on a plate, and cover with a clean towel to prevent drying.
Place each ball between the two sheets of parchment and press into a flat disk. Using either a tortilla press or a heavy baking dish, press dough into a 6″ tortilla.
Gently remove parchment from each side of the tortilla, place it carefully on the hot skillet/comal, cook for about 40-45 seconds, then flip it up and cook for another 45 seconds.
Flip tortilla again and cook for another 15-20 seconds or until it begins to puff. ** (See note).
Place tortilla between a kitchen towel to keep it warm. Repeat the steps with the remaining dough.
Notes
*If the dough is too sticky, add just a little masa until it no longer sticks to your fingers. If it is too crumbly, add just enough water to form a solid dough so that it sticks together when firmly pressed.
** If the tortillas do not rise, you have not kneaded the dough well enough.
I love tacos. And I’m pretty confident I will have made them in every possible way before I die. I could eat a different taco variety daily and never tire of them. And these tacos are my new favorite. I recently discovered the versatility of oyster mushrooms and decided that they would make an excellent filling choice for my next taco venture.
The word taco comes from the Nahuatl (Aztec) word ‘tlahco,’ which means “half or in the middle,” referring to how it is formed. It is believed that the taco originated in Mexican silver mines in the late 19th century. To mine the silver, Miners added gunpowder to paper which was then folded in half and inserted into rocks before detonation. Taco de minero translates into “miner’s tacos.” The tacos then were very different from tacos today. Typically they were made using a soft corn tortilla filled with fish or organ meat. Nowadays, there are dozens and dozens of taco varieties.
I used smoked paprika and ancho chili powder to get a smoky cauliflower taste without pulling out the smoker. I thought the ancho chili powder would pair well with its daddy, the poblano. Made from dried poblano chilies, ancho chili powder is quite different from regular chili powder, usually some form of a dried chili cut with cumin, oregano, and paprika. You could also obtain the same smokiness using chipotle powder, but because it packs some heat, you must cut the ingredient amount by half.
I have included the recipe for my blue corn tortillas. A good tortilla is the only thing I love more than a taco. If you’ve never made them before, fear not. They couldn’t be easier to make! Only two ingredients, the key is good masa flour and to use only enough water to create a dough. I have a tortilla press because I generally always make my tortillas. But you don’t need a press. You only need something heavy to press them with, like a heavy baking dish. I promise once you start making your tortillas, you’ll never return to store-bought again.
As always, tag me and let me know how you like them!
In a large mixing bowl, toss the cauliflower with 2 tablespoons of olive oil, chili powder, smoked paprika, cumin, red pepper flakes, and a generous pinch of salt. Spread the cauliflower on a lined baking sheet, and bake for 25 minutes, or until crispy.
While cauliflower is roasting, warm a large skillet over medium heat and add onion, poblanos, and broth. Sauté until onions and peppers are tender and lightly golden, about 15 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for 30 seconds, or until the garlic is fragrant.
Add 1/2 cup salsa verde to mushroom/pepper mix and cook for an additional 1-2 minutes. Remove mixture from the heat and add lime juice. Adjust the seasonings as desired.
While mushrooms are cooking, warm a comal or skillet over medium-high heat. Cook each tortilla until lightly browned on each side. (To keep warm, cover cooked tortillas with a clean dishcloth)
To build each taco, add mushroom mixture, and top with roasted cauliflower to a tortilla. Garnish with cilantro, salsa verde, green onions, and vegan cojita.
With the dull grey skies of winter abound, what better way to color your world than with vibrant, nourishing superfoods! I love winter for many reasons. I love hiking, skiing, running, and eating hearty winter soups, stews, and salads. Yes! Raw salads loaded with bright, delicious, vibrant vegetables, fresh herbs, seeds, nuts, and sprouts! I love shaved Brussels sprouts and purple cabbage. Bite-sized crowns of golden and purple broccoli, multicolored carrots, mixed with a variety of dark leafy greens…does it get any better? Add some fermented vegetables and hemp seeds, and baby I’m yours!
But a big salad needs a big dressing. I wanted it to pack a punch and be as colorful and nutritious! After working out a few recipes, I finally decided on this Beet and Tahini dressing! This match made in heaven dressing is an instant love connection and the perfect accompaniment for my winter “veg fest” salad! Suffering from a little seasonal affected disorder? Adding some dark leafy greens like kale or rainbow chard to your diet has been shown to decrease the winter blues!
I always keep Cleveland Kitchen’s Beet Red Raw Gut Saurkraut on hand. It is delicious, and I use it on salads, tacos, Buddha bowls, and sometimes I eat it directly out of the bag! It also makes the best salad dressing. It is so good for you with fermented red cabbage, beets, and carrots! Did you know that eating fermented foods can also boost beneficial gut bacteria and improve digestion?
No worries, if you don’t have the kraut, add some shredded carrots, a little red wine vinegar, and a roasted beet to the blender and blend away! I also added a tablespoon of beet juice powder. Again, no worries if you don’t have it. I love it for so many reasons (it’s a great food coloring) but mostly because I wanted the added nutrition! Beet Roots Juice is a highly concentrated powder that boosts brainpower, improves athletic performance, fights inflammation, and supports liver health…the list goes on and on!
I also added ashwagandha to my dressing because, well, I add it to everything! If you don’t know it, ashwagandha is an evergreen shrub in the Solanaceae or nightshade family that grows in India, the Middle East, and parts of Africa. It is used for improving blood sugar, reducing inflammation, boosting mood, improving memory, and reducing stress and anxiety!
It keeps well in the fridge, and it works quite well over roasted vegetables and white beans, too! You can even add a little stock and make soup out of it, or add some chickpeas and turn it into hummus! If you make it let me know!
Stay warm,
XO-
Steph
2 tablespoons fresh minced herbs (I used chervil and oregano)
1 small shallot, finely diced
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1/2cupwater (add more depending on consistency)
Instructions
If using a whole beet instead of the fermented slaw, wash and trim the beet. Rub in olive oil and sprinkle with a pinch of sea salt. Place in aluminum foil and roast at 425°F for 45 minutes, or boil on the stovetop until fork-tender, about 25 minutes.
Let cool and add 1/3 cup shredded carrots and a teaspoon of red wine vinegar.
Add all ingredients to blender and blitz well until blended.
Taste for seasoning.
Store in an air-tight container for up two 7 days in the refrigerator.
Sometimes recipes write themselves. And if recipes were writers, this, my friend, is a Nobel laureate! Well…maybe it isn’t serving the greatest benefit to all of humankind, but it’s definitely a tasty benefit to your taste buds! And it might be something new for you. I love toasted ravioli. It was one of my guilty pleasures, especially on a football Sunday, it was also created here in my hometown, or so the story goes.
A little taste of midwestern Americana, most accounts of toasted ravioli trace its origins to The Hill, a predominantly Italian-American neighborhood in South St. Louis. Supposedly, a guy named Chef Fritz accidentally dropped a ravioli into the fryer at the legendary Mama Campisi’s. “Mickey Garagiola, older brother of Major League Baseball Hall-of-Famer Joe Garagiola, was actually at the bar during the mishap and was the first to witness and taste the accidental treat. Other people have tried to take credit, but being a passionate Cardinal fan, I’m going with the Garagiola’s on this one!
Traditionally toasted rav’s are served with a tomato meat sauce for dipping. And if you’ve never had them, I highly recommend eating them that way at some point. However, we will lightly pan fry them for this recipe and drop them right into a decadent creamy, cheesy fondue and finish them in the oven.
The fondue is also a treat to be savored! An apres-ski pleasure in the Alps, Swiss fondue is essentially a mixture of cheese, wine, and flour. You can use it as a sauce over pasta, a dip for veggies, and of course, as a base for these yummy ravioli. So whether you’re congregating after a day on the mountain with friends or just looking for a rich, velvety cheese sauce that cannot be matched, this recipe is for you. Oh, and don’t forget to top it with your favorite vegan parmesan!
So yummy and easy to make, these toasted ravioli can be served with a simple marinara, or dressed up and served in a creamy cheesy fondue! Make sure you use an oil with a high smoke point (over 400°F.) meant for frying.
Ingredients
Scale
Ravioli:
1 (12 oz) pack of Nasoya Vegan Won Ton Wraps *see note
1 package of vegan plant-based Italian sausage (I only use Hungry Planet) **see note
1 package of vegan mozzarella, crumbled into 1″ pieces (I like Miyoko’s) ***see note
1 sweet onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon pink Himalayan sea salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
3/4 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
1/2 cup plant-based milk
2 tablespoons of egg replacer (I like Just Egg, but you can also use aquafaba)
3 cups frying oil (I use safflower oil–510°F, or peanut oil–450°F)
Fondue:
1/2cupdry white wine (for non-alcohol, 1/4 cup white wine vinegar to 1/4 cup water)
1clovegarlic, whole peeled
3cupsvegan white cheese I used Violife feta, Daiya Farmhouse (block) Jalapeno, and Miyoko’s mozzarella (vegan parm and nutritional yeast would work well too)
1 cup vegetable stock
1 tablespoons Kirsch (or cherry juice)
1/4 teaspoon lemon juice (if using vinegar in place of wine, skip the lemon juice)
1 teaspoon dried basil, 2 teaspoons if using fresh
Dash of paprika
Dash of garlic powder
Dash of nutmeg
Dash of white pepper
2 tablespoons tapioca starch
Instructions
I like to make the fondue first. You can assemble the ravioli in advance, but if not eating them the day of, put them on a parchment-lined baking sheet and place them in the freezer.
Fondue:
Rub the inside of an enameled cast-iron casserole with the garlic clove; discard the garlic.
Combine the grated cheeses with the wine and tapioca starch.
Add lemon juice, basil, paprika, and garlic powder to the pot and cook over moderate heat, occasionally stirring until the cheeses melt about 5 minutes.
Add the kirsch, vegetable stock, and a generous pinch each of pepper and nutmeg and cook, stirring gently, until creamy and smooth, about 10 minutes; don’t overcook the fondue, or it will get stringy. Remove from heat.
Turn on the oven. Set to broil.
Ravioli:
Warm a medium-size nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add onion and 1/4 water. Saute onions until they soften and become translucent (about 8 minutes).
Add garlic and cook until fragrant (about 30 seconds).
Add sausage, oregano, and salt/pepper. Saute until the sausage begins to brown if ingredients start to stick at 1-2 tablespoons of water.
Add mozzarella cheese and stir until melted.
Remove from heat and set mixture aside.
Assemble:
TOOLS–(Pastry brush, a small bowl of water. A ravioli cutter is helpful but optional)
To assemble ravioli, lay half the won ton wrappers on a flat dry surface. (Make sure you only have one).
Add 1 tablespoon of filling to the middle of each won ton wrap.
Dip a pastry brush into water and lightly brush the perimeter of the won ton wrapper.
Using the other half of the wraps, brush one side of the wrap with a small amount of water and lay the wet side down directly on top of the meat-filled wrap. Repeat until all 24 are sealed. I like to start at the top and work my way around sealing the edges with my fingers. You can apply slight pressure to the middle and press down around the filling. Take a little water and smooth it down with your finger if it tears. Make sure they are sealed well. If using a ravioli cutter, press down until ravioli is cut and well sealed. Place on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Combine milk and egg sub in a small bowl. Place breadcrumbs in a pie pan or shallow bottomed bowl. Dip ravioli in milk mixture and coat with breadcrumbs.
In a large, heavy pan, pour oil to a depth of 2 inches. Heat oil over medium heat until a small amount of breading sizzles and turns brown. Fry ravioli a few at a time, 1 minute on each side or until golden. Drain on paper towels. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.
Baking:
To a medium casserole dish, add fondue and place ravioli on top. Spoon fondue sauce onto ravioli to coat. If the sauce is too thick, add 1/4 cup of water or vegetable stock to thin.
Place in oven and bake until fondue is bubbly and slightly browned. About 2-3 minutes.
Remove from oven and sprinkle with additional parmesan cheese and basil!
To serve, place ravioli on a plate and drizzle with fondue. Top with parsley and additional parmesan.
Serve immediately.
Enjoy!
Notes
*One pack of won ton wrappers makes 24 ravioli.
**I’ve tried a half dozen or so plant-based sausages, and nothing compares to the flavor and texture of Hungry Planet. It also has a whopping 17g of protein and zero fat!
***I like whole block vegan cheeses. I’m not too fond of shredded cheeses because of the taste. The anti-caking ingredients give it a strange flavor.
I tend to go with the flow regarding cooking (and most things in life). Never really having a set menu for the week, most of my ideas come from random places. The other day I saw a beautiful bunch of white asparagus and purple Brussels sprouts and loaded up my cart. I’ve also been known to buy things with absolutely no idea of what I will do with them. Other times I’m inspired by the beauty of food photographs. But most of the time, dinner is mood and taste-dependent!
Lately, and for obvious reasons, I’ve been craving warm comfort foods.
When I think of autumn, I think of hearty soups and stews. Enter the Smoky Poblano Corn Chowder. It has nearly all my favorite ingredients, corn, potatoes, chili peppers, coconut milk, and Mexican spices. I mean, who doesn’t love cumin and coconut milk? I made a tasty bouquet of roasted corn, sprouted lentils, and microgreens seasoned with the same spices as the soup for a garnish.
I love that it comes together quickly and that it tastes so damn good. You can skip the garnish if you are so inclined; however, it’s a major flavor bomb, it’s also gorgeous, and I highly recommend it. And don’t forget to give each bowl a light dusting of chili powder.
I wanted some texture, but I also wanted thick and creamy. Some recipes use corn starch to thicken, but I’m not a fan. So when the chowder was done cooking, I took about a third of it (about 3 cups), put it in the blender, then added it back into the soup. It worked perfectly. This recipe serves 4-6, but it is easily doubled and will keep in the freezer for up to two months.
As always, tag me and let me know if you liked it.
Mix all ingredients well in a small bowl and set aside.
Chowder:
Warm a medium-size skillet over medium-high heat, add onion, celery, carrot, chili, and 2-3 tablespoons vegetable stock. Saute for 4-5 minutes until vegetables begin to soften. Add garlic and spices cook for 1-2 minutes.
Stir in broth, scraping the bottom of the pot to remove any browned bits.
Add potatoes and corn. Stir, bring to a simmer, and reduce heat to medium-low.
Cover and cook for 15-20 minutes until potatoes are fork-tender. Reduce heat to low.
Add coconut milk and whisk into the soup mixture.
Adjust seasonings. Careful with the oregano as it can make the soup bitter.
Ladle into bowls and garnish.
Serve
Enjoy!
Notes
Do not use canned corn if possible. Canned vegetables have a metallic taste and are often loaded with sodium (preservatives). In the winter frozen organic corn is best.
A traditional Mexican pozole or posole is a stew made from beans, hominy, and meat. Slow-simmered in a soupy broth, a pozole is traditionally served on Christmas eve, and you can trace its roots back to the ancient Aztecs! This rich and hearty dish is so flavorful and delicious, and the best part is there were no pigs harmed! Don’t worry. The white Mexican hominy gives the stew a nice meaty chew!
Hominy, if you don’t know, is dried corn, or maize, treated with lime to help soften the tough outer shells of the kernels, making them easier to digest. Furthermore, in Mexican cooking, hominy is ground down to make masa flour.
If you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, you know that Mexican food is my favorite food. I’m pretty sure I could eat it every day. I love the addition of diced raw onions, avocado, and cilantro as a garnish. You could also add vegan sour cream if you’re feelin’ it. This pozole is made in a red sauce (Rojo), but you can use tomatillos and have Pozole Verdes if you’d like.
I made my pinto beans in my instant pot, and they were ready in 50 minutes. You can soak your beans overnight and make them according to your package directions, or you can use canned beans. I prefer to make my own and generally keep 5 lb bags of beans in my pantry. I’m not too fond of the metallic taste of canned beans, and I like to control the texture myself. However, I did use canned hominy for apparent reasons. They are great the day you make them, and they are even better the next day!
Tag me if you make it and let me know how you like it!
Warm and hearty, this Mexain Pozole will likely become a staple in your weekly winter rotation! Double the recipe, and you can store this in the freezer for up to 2 months.
Ingredients
Scale
PInto Beans:
1/2pounddry pinto beans (about 1 cups), or 2 cans of no salt added pinto beans
3 cups vegetable stock, or filtered water* ( see note)
If using dried beans, add beans to a bowl and rinse. Sift through beans to remove any grit or broken shells. At this point, you can either soak beans overnight to make on the stovetop (follow package directions) or add to an instant pot with 6 cups vegetable stock, onion, bay leaves, and salt and pepper—Cook at high pressure for 50 minutes. Let pressure reduce naturally, about 10 minutes. Set aside.
While pinto beans are cooking, add chilies, onion, and garlic to a small pot of boiling water. Use enough water to cover the chilies. Reduce heat and simmer until chilies and onions have softened about 7-8 minutes.
When chilies are done, carefully add all ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. If the sauce is too thick, add stock or water to thin. It should have a paste-like consistency. In a colander, strain sauce into a bowl.
Carefully add pinto beans (do not drain), hominy, chili paste, and remaining ingredients in a medium stockpot. ** (See note)
Simmer covered on medium-low for 20-25 minutes until hominy softened but still firm.
Remove lid and taste for seasonings.
Ladle Pozole into a serving bowl and garnish.
Enjoy!
Notes
*I like to use a flavorful stock to make my pinto beans, but if you use water, I recommend adding a teaspoon of garlic and onion powder to your beans!
**You can also finish the pozole in the instant pot by skipping the stockpot and cooking using the saute function. I didn’t do this because I like to control my heat. But this is a viable option.
A few weeks ago, I was on the hunt for a pretty serving bowl. I wanted something classic. Something that looked old but didn’t have to be old, with good color and lines. I found one at Williams Sonoma and immediately went to work on creating a colorful salad to put in it!
I don’t know about you, but I love a good salad. I also have a thing for sweet potatoes. Truthfully, I have a “thing” for all potatoes, but sweet potatoes are my favorite. Baked, roasted, mashed, or fried, the potato is a quintessential vegetable.
I wanted to make the salad part savory, party sweet, partly cooked, and part raw. This Coriander Sweet Potato Salad with Maple Dijon Vinaigrette and Pomegranate is all that! It’s loaded with nutrients, flavor, and texture. It’s also beautiful and ready to serve in just 30 minutes! Let me know how you like it!
P.s. I also doubled the vinaigrette dressing to use for a later date.
2 teaspoons fresh minced thyme, or 1 teaspoon dried
1 teaspoon dried coriander
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
Instructions
Preheat oven to 425°F.
Toss potatoes in olive oil and sprinkle with coriander.
Add potatoes to a parchment-lined baking sheet, roast for 30 minutes, turning potatoes once after 15 minutes.
While potatoes are roasting, whisk maple syrup, mustard, cider vinegar, shallot, garlic, herbs, and spices in a large bowl. Whisk in the olive oil in a slow, steady stream until the vinaigrette emulsifies and thickens.
When potatoes are done, remove them from the oven and set them aside to cool. Cut each potato quarter in half when they have cooled enough to touch.
In a medium-size serving bowl, layer the salad. Add a handful of mixed greens and 1/4th of potatoes. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons vinaigrette, 1 tablespoon sunflower seeds, 1 1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme, 2 tablespoons feta, 2 tablespoons arils, 1 tablespoon cilantro. Continue to layer this way until all potatoes have been used.
Divide equally among 4 bowls.
Enjoy!
Notes
Look for a firm pomegranate. I like to cut my pomegranates in half, and in a bowl half full of water, pull the pomegranate apart by hand, removing all of the arils. Once I have them removed, I dispose of any large pieces of the pith (the spongy white tissue lining) and rapidly stir the arils by hand to remove any additional pieces of pith that may still be attached.
Some of my fondest memories center around food. While I think that might be the case for many of us, Sunday breakfasts, in particular, have always held a special place in my heart! When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time with my mom’s parents. I absolutely loved being at grandma and grandpa’s house! Nearly every weekend, I was there with my little brother Sean and at least two of my four cousins. The weekend was even better if my aunt Tammy agreed to spend the night (I would literally beg her), and we got to add an extra chair around the breakfast table! Oh, how I miss those days.
Anyway, Sunday breakfasts are still a big deal to me, and there is rarely a Sunday morning that goes by when I’m not in the kitchen playing music and making a big ole’ breakfast. Admittedly, I get stuck and end up making the same dish on repeat. But every once in a while, a magical Unicorn comes along and becomes a part of my Sunday rotation! Enter the Shakshuka! The literal translation of the Hebrew word shakshuka means “all mixed up”! And I’d say that’s a pretty good description of this north African egg dish made with peppers, tomatoes, and eggs. It’s super flavorful and hits the spot! It also reminds me of a meal I used to eat when I was a kid.
Last week my husband found a recipe for “Eggs in a Hole” in the newspaper (remember those?) and asked me if I’d ever had it. I laughed and said, “You better believe it”! In fact, it was one of the first breakfast meals I ever made on my own, besides Quaker’s Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal (remember that?). This Shakshuka reminds me of my childhood fav in that the eggs are carefully placed in a hole and cooked until firm. Only in the Shakshuka, the eggs are nestled in a bed of tomatoes and peppers and not white Wonder bread!
I really love this simple but flavorful dish and hope you all do too! Oh, and if you can’t find Just Egg, I’ve included a delicious option in the notes section of the recipe! Be sure to tag me and let me know how you like it!
Warm oil over medium heat in a 12-inch cast-iron skillet with a lid. Add onion, red pepper, salt, and several grinds of fresh pepper and cook until the onion is soft and translucent about 8 minutes.
Reduce the heat to medium-low and add garlic, paprika, cumin, and chili powder. Stir and let cook for about 30 seconds, then add the tomatoes and tomato paste. Simmer for 15 minutes until the sauce is thickened.
Make 4 wells in the sauce and add Just Eggs. Cover and cook for 2 minutes and then add feta. Cook until the eggs are set, 5 to 8 minutes.
Season with salt and pepper to taste and sprinkle with the feta, parsley, avocado, and microgreens, if using. Serve with toasted bread for scooping.
Notes
If you would like to make this but don’t have access to the Vegan Egg product you can make your own!
6ouncesfirm silken tofu (usually found in the Asian section, not refrigerated)
Happy New Year! I hope you are well and enjoyed some form of relaxation with those you love! The holidays can be joyful but a bit of a whirlwind and are here and gone in the blink of an eye! Don’t get me wrong, I love every minute between Halloween and New Year’s, but this year was particularly busy and took a little bit of a toll on my health! I am just now starting to feel better after a rough bout of bronchitis, which I used to get all the time as a kid. Secondhand smoke is fo’ real, and my lungs are physically scarred from years and years of coughing from inhaling the toxic fog. Another reason Covid kinda scares me, ya know?
But this was also the first time I’d been sick in just over 6 years. And I can’t get sick! I have people who depend on me to cook, clean, transport, teach, write, exercise, volunteer, and well, the list goes on and on. And not to mention, cooking for me is a way of relaxing and being creative. So, what’s a girl to do if she can’t cook for nearly 3 weeks? Read, rest, and reflect—a lot. And when I got well enough to cook again, I returned to the kitchen with a significant mind shift. At the forefront was the question, “Am I really feeding myself if I’m not feeding myself well?” Deep, I know. But, alas, you are what you eat.
Listen, I am by no means a junk food vegan, but I not gonna lie. I love chips and cashew queso, like, a lot. And sometimes I get lazy. I also get caught up in convenience foods, Doordash, and sometimes, skipping meals entirely. I also give in to unhealthy cravings, and sometimes I do not feed my body well. This is a far cry from my early days as a plant-based eater–when I was all in. All. In. No oil, no processed anything, no wheat, no starchy stuff. I was a well-oiled machine, lost a bunch of weight, and felt ten years younger. I still feel 10 years younger, but the weight is slowly creeping back, and admittedly, I’m feeling a little rusty.
So the first several days back in the kitchen, I made only raw foods for 4 days. I was amazed at how light yet full and satisfied I felt. I started reading about the miraculous enzymatic functions found in whole foods and how cooking foods actually kill these beneficial enzymes that our food is trying to provide us. I’m not sure I will ever be 100% raw, but I’m definitely game for 50-75%, and who knows!
That said, I’m super excited to share this recipe with you. This oil-free soup is super healthy and completely delicious. It’s also 50% cooked and 50% raw. Part soup part salad (who says ya can’t), I added a Yukon gold to help thicken, some green peas to help brighten, and topped it with a raw zucchini salad that makes me want only to grow zucchini’s in my garden this summer! Pistachios give it a nice crunch and a little protein boost. The basil gives it depth, and the parmesan cheese, well, you know…! Let me know if you made it and how you liked it. I love hearing from y’all. Until next time!
In a medium-size bowl mix spiralized zucchini, lemon juice, garlic, basil, pistachios, parmesan, and pepper. I like to make this first and refrigerate.
Soup:
Warm a heavy-bottomed stockpot or dutch oven over medium heat. Sauté onion, garlic, ginger, and jalapeño in 1/4 cup of water or vegetable stock for 5-7 minutes, or until fork-tender. If vegetables begin to stick, add more liquid 1 tablespoon at a time.
Add the salt, 1/2 cup stock, diced zucchini, peas, potato, and curry powder. Sauté 2-3 minutes more.
Add 1 1/2 cups of broth. Cover and simmer until the zucchini and potato are tender, about 5-10 minutes.
Add ingredients to a blender and blend on low-medium speed until smooth. (Be careful–see note*)
Blend well and return soup to the pan; add remaining stock and simmer to warm through. Taste for seasoning.
Ladle soup into a bowl, and using tongs, carefully top center of soup with garnish. Be sure to get a little bit of everything!
Enjoy!
Notes
*When hot food is inside a blender, and a lid is placed on top, it heats the air above between the food and the blender lid, causing pressure to build up in the blender jar. This pressure can cause the top to blow right off as hot food explodes out the top of the blender jar. Trust me. It’s no fun to clean soup off everything, including the ceiling.
So I spent most of my winter break after Christmas in bed. I’m pretty sure from burning the candle at both ends and running in the rain, I wore myself down and ended up with a nasty case of bronchitis. My husband who somehow managed to avoid it insisted that I rest and took over as my personal chef and nurse. He made me this fantastic soup, and I figured it was well worth writing up a recipe! Sometimes the only thing (besides a Z-Pak) that makes you feel better is a lot of TLC and a good old-fashioned bowl of warm noodle soup.
The ultimate comfort food, this recipe uses tofu rubbed with poultry seasoning and baked until firm. It was so good and hit the spot. He drained and pressed the tofu and then pulled it apart by hand to give it that irregular shape like pulled chicken. He dredged it in a little bit of olive oil and tossed it in poultry seasoning. We use Trader Joe’s chicken-less seasoning, but alas, it’s discontinued. I liked TJ’s seasoning because it had turmeric, a great anti-inflammatory and antioxidant! But never fear. Here is another excellent poultry seasoning with turmeric that will also work! If you can’t find a seasoning mix with turmeric, be sure to add a teaspoon to your soup!
He baked the tofu for 25 minutes, turned it once, and baked for another 15 minutes. He also used egg-free ribbon noodles. But if you’re feeling somewhat nostalgic, you can use spaghetti broken into quarters for a more Campbell’s soup kinda feel.
2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce (I use Bragg’s Liquid Aminos)
8oz. pasta of choice, broken into bite-sized pieces if applicable
Salt,to taste
Instructions
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 350° F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Drain the tofu package, and press the tofu for about 20 minutes while the oven preheats. (We use a tofu press, but you can also wrap the tofu in a clean towel and stack something heavy like a cast iron pan on top of it).
Break the tofu apart into irregular shapes, or roughly chop it, add to a bowl.
Toss tofu in olive oil and sprinkle with poultry seasoning, coating generously.
Place the tofu pieces on the baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes, flip the tofu and bake for another 15-25 minutes, or until firm and slightly crispy. Remove from the oven and set aside.
Warm a large saucepan over medium heat, then add 1/4 cup of vegetable stock.
Add the onion, celery, and carrot, and continue to cook, stirring occasionally. If the vegetables start to brown, turn the heat to medium-low and add additional stock one tablespoon at a time. Saute vegetables until the onions and celery are translucent, 5 to 7 minutes.
Add the garlic, dill, red pepper flakes, thyme, black pepper, and stir. Cook until fragrant, 60 to 90 seconds.
Add the broth and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and stir in the soy sauce, pasta, and baked tofu chunks. Continue to cook for 10-12 minutes or until the pasta is tender.
Add additional salt and pepper if necessary.
Garnish with fresh thyme, dill, and parsley, if desired.
So, this recipe is coming in a little late. Christmas is over, but the demand for this recipe is high! I made these for our Christmas gathering, and they were gone within hours! The recipe couldn’t be any easier, and the options are endless. I made them four ways, plain, half dipped in white chocolate and crushed peppermint candy, fully dipped in white chocolate and candy, and as a sandwich filled with marshmallow cream. I have to say I prefer the first three cookies. The sandwich was gorgeous, but it was a bit much for me. My kids, however, loved them.
The first time I made these, I made them without a binder, and they were fine, but just a bit on the crumbly side. If you don’t mind that, you can skip the egg replacement. You can use one flax egg if you prefer, or I used Just Egg, and it worked perfectly.
These cookies are vegan and gluten-free. I used Bob’s Redmill 1:1 Gluten-Free Baking Flour. You can use regular flour if you prefer, but be sure your flour contains xanthan gum if you are going gluten-free. Xanthan gum replaces gluten, provides some elasticity, acts as the binding agent for the flour, and helps hold onto some moisture.
Be sure to tag me on Instagram if you like them! Enjoy!
Preheat oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
In a large measuring cup, mix all wet ingredients together with ¼ cup water.
Add in the dry ingredients and mix well until combined.
Add in the chocolate chunks and refrigerate for 1 hour. (Do NOT skip refrigeration)
Remove dough from the fridge. Using a small ice cream scoop, or approximately 2 tbsp. of dough, form into balls.
Place in oven and bake for 16-18 minutes. The longer they cook, the crispier they will be.
Leave on a baking tray to cool completely, about 10 minutes.
If dipping in white chocolate, add chocolate to the microwave and cook on 50% power and stir every 30 seconds until melted. Or add to double boiler**and cook over medium-low heat until melted. Make sure cookies are completely cooled. Dip cookies in white chocolate or use a spoon and cover either half or the entire cookie. Add crushed candy while white chocolate is still wet.
Notes
*Flax egg: 1 tbsp flaxseed meal to 2 1/2 tbsp water mix well and let rest for 5 minutes or until thickened. Use as a regular egg.
** If you don’t own a double boiler (who does these days?) then gather a medium saucepan and 2 medium heatproof bowls that can sit over the saucepan without dipping too far into it. Pour water into saucepan to come 1″ up the sides (there should be a gap between the water and bowl so check it before the water gets hot!) and bring to a simmer over medium heat.
I love pasta, pretty much all pasta. I never met a pasta I didn’t like. However, there are some (like a few people I know) that I like better than others. This pasta is one of those that I want best of all. The creamy, spicy red pepper sauce mixed with savory Italian sausage (thank you, Hungry Planet) served over freshly made rigatoni noodles makes my cuore felice! Did I say that correctly?
Anyway, this simple recipe comes together quickly, and if you’re anything like me, this will make your heart happy, too! I love the Hungry Planet Italian sausage here. The texture and flavor shine in this recipe, and with zero grams of saturated fat (Impossible Sausage has 4g of saturated fat), you cannot go wrong. You have to make sure you don’t eat all the sausage while you’re waiting for your pasta to boil!
1/2 cup red wine (or, 1/4 cup red wine vinegar and 1/4 cup water mixed)
1 sweet onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 1/2 teaspoons oregano
1 1/2 teaspoons sage
salt and pepper
1 cup vegan parmesan, grated or shredded
fresh parsley, minced
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (optional, but recommended)
Instructions
Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Prepare a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, and spray a 12″ round or oval baking dish with non-stick spray. I used my largest oval French Corningware with a glass lid.
Spice mix:
In a small bowl, mix 1/2 tsp garlic powder with 1 1/2 teaspoons: oregano, sage, and a pinch of salt and pepper.
Bread Crumbs:
Add breadcrumbs, 2 tbsp melted butter, and half of the spice mixture to a bowl. Toss well to coat. Toast in oven for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Set aside.
Pasta:
Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, cook pasta according to the instructions on the package (each pasta varies). Reserve one cup of pasta water and set it aside. Drain well, and do not rinse.** Add cooked pasta to a large bowl.
While the pasta is cooking, add the sausage to a large skillet and cook over medium heat until browned. Carefully remove sausage from skillet and set aside. In the same pan, add the remaining 2 tbsp’s butter, a pinch of salt and pepper, and the remaining teaspoon of garlic powder and cook until the butter is melted and bubbling. Add onions and red peppers. Stir frequently until onions become translucent, about 5-6 minutes. Add minced garlic, and saute until fragrant @ 30 seconds. Add red wine and use a spatula to stir well and deglaze any fond* from the bottom of the pan. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook until liquid evaporates, 2-3 minutes.
Remove from heat and carefully place ingredients in a blender, or use an immersion blender, add cornstarch, and puree until smooth—return sauce to the pan.
Over medium heat, stir in half-and-half. Add 1/2 cup parmesan, cooked sausage, and remaining spices to the sauce. Stir frequently and cook until sausage has warmed through, about 2-3 minutes. Taste for seasoning, add salt and pepper, and additional spices if needed.
Add pasta to skillet and stir well to coat. Add 1 cup pasta water, and mix well. Pour into the prepared baking dish. Add remaining cheese, and top with buttered herbed breadcrumbs.
Bake covered for 25 minutes, or until bread crumbs are lightly golden.
Serve garnished with fresh parsley, red pepper flakes, and additional parmesan. Enjoy!
Notes
*Fond, is quite simply, is the stuff that sticks to your pan after browning meat or vegetables on the stovetop, or at the bottom of a roasting pan after it has come out of the oven. Good stuff, just don’t burn it. If you do it’s no good and can ruin your dish.
**You want some starch on the outside of the pasta, as it helps the sauce adhere.
Food and memories are tied together like a horse and carriage. This recipe is one of my fondest and most favorite meals of all time. Therefore, I dedicate this recipe to my momma. When I was a kid, as soon as the weather got cold, my mom pulled out all the stops when it came to cooking! In the kitchen, both of my parents were adventurous! Flavor first was their motto!
Usually, dinner was always a good thing. I developed my love of herbs and spices from cooking with her. I also learned how to roll tamales, make a good pie crust, use a candy thermometer to make dad’s fudge.
Much of what my mother learned about cooking she learned from my step-father. Before they were married, my pop’s lived in a cabin in the middle of nowhere Alaska for nearly 13 years. He made bread, caught fish, and hunted for everything he ate. He grew herbs and vegetables and became quite the flavor aficionado. Before marrying my mom, he was stationed in France, Vietnam, and Lebanon, so he exposed her to exotic flavor profiles and cooking techniques that are now a part of my culinary world!
But sometimes, but sometimes…
You would come home to the rancid smell of salt-rising bread. An old Appalachian bread recipe from the 1800s, my mom had gone to the library and found the starter recipe, which smelled like a cross between dirty socks and overripe cheese. Or the time we had boiled muscles. The only thing I remember is the gritty taste of sand in my mouth. She realized too little, too late, that the muscles had to be rinsed and soaked first. Oh well, live and learn.
And, of course, some recipes stick out in your mind. This Hot Tamale Pie recipe is one of them. It is the ultimate comfort food. My mom used Jiffy cornbread mix, but I subbed that out for masa flour and vegetable stock. And instead of ground beef, I used a plant-based alternative. Otherwise, all things are precisely the same. My family loved this flavor bomb, and for me, it was a glorious trip down memory lane! I hope you love it too!
1 pack impossible meat or other plant-based ground
1/2 sweet onion, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
2 cloves garlic (1 tsp), minced
1 (15 oz) can diced fire-roasted tomatoes
1 Tbsp chili powder
1 Tbsp corn starch
2 tsp ground cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1 (10 oz) bag frozen corn (1/2 cup set aside)
1 (4 oz) can diced green chilies
2 cups masa flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 cups vegetable stock
2 Tbsp Just Egg or other vegan egg sub (2 egg equivalent)
1 cup shredded vegan cheese (I used Daiya Farmhouse Jalapeno Havarti)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 400°F
Warm a large cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Add onion and bell pepper.Sauté until veggies begin to soften, about 5-6 minutes.Add garlic and cook until garlic becomes fragrant for about 30 seconds.Add plant-based meat, sprinkle with cornstarch, and add spices. Brown meat, and taste for seasoning.Add tomatoes, green chilies, cheese, and remaining corn. Mix well.
Add masa flour, just-egg, and baking powder in a medium-size bowl.Mix well.Slowly, add 2 cups vegetable stock (May need a little more stock depending on the coarseness of the masa), stir until smooth.Add 1/2 cup frozen corn kernels.Stir well.
If you are using a cast-iron skillet, top the meat mixture with the masa.Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until cornbread is lightly golden.
If you are not using a cast iron, place the mixture in a 9X12” oven-proof baking dish.Top with masa and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until cornbread is lightly golden.
Garnish with sour cream, cilantro, and green onions.
As a kid, my little brother and I used to spend our summers with our grandma while my mom worked. Those days were so simple and good—warm breezes, the bell of the ice-cream man coming down the street, the smell of cut grass, cicadas singing as the sun went down. I was that barefoot little blonde tomboy running through the yard with grass stains on my knees, dirt on my face, and hair wild in the wind.
I miss my Gradma so much, especially on these bright summer days. I can still see myself in her sunny kitchen, standing on a footstool beside her, learning to snap green beans, slice ripe peaches, and cut okra for dinner. She showed me that real food was fresh, simple, and made with love.
I’m still a tomboy now—maybe even more so. As an adult, my hands are still in the dirt, working in my garden barefoot in the grass, growing the same kinds of fresh herbs and vegetables she loved. I love grilling those veggies outside on warm evenings—smoky corn, peppers, zucchini, all piled onto a big platter to share. And when I’m not in the garden, I spend my days on the lake wading in or paddling out, slowing down and soaking in everything this season has to offer.
If you’re looking for something easy and fresh to share this summer, try this red beet hummus. It’s classic hummus with a summery twist—and there’s no need to peel or roast beets if you use pre-cooked ones! I used four small vacuum-packed beets, a can of garbanzo beans, tahini, lemon juice, garlic, salt, and pepper. I minced extra garlic for a little kick and finished it with fresh parsley. It’s bright, earthy, and perfect with crisp veggies or warm pita. I especially love it on a pita wrap with charred cauliflower, vegan feta, and peppery arugula—fresh, colorful, and so satisfying on a summer night.
Here’s to long sunny days, simple meals, and the comforting memories of those who taught us the joy of eating fresh.
Serve with pita bread or veggies, this quick and easy red beet hummus makes a festive and delicious appetizer! Be sure to top with minced parsley, chickpeas, or garlic.
2 tbsp aquafaba (reserved juice from chickpea can)
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp garlic
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp fresh cracked pepper
Instructions
Place all ingredients except aquafaba in a food processor and pulse until smooth. Add aquafaba one tablespoon at a time, if needed. Taste and adjust seasonings accordingly.
The salad is almost too pretty to eat. Every time I make it, I just want to stare at it or take pictures of it.
Not only does it come together quickly, but it is also very hearty and satisfying. The creamy plant-based goat cheese alone is to die for! Trust me. This salad could be a meal in itself. As for the pomegranate, I prefer to clean my own. It’s a task that my youngest daughter has taken over. She finds it deeply satisfying to pull out every last aril!
I like the arugula and pomegranate for color, but you can use various fruits and greens to achieve your Christmas colors. My favorite addition to the salad, and one that I would not skip, is the fresh dill weed. No matter the toppings used, the dill brings it together!
1 Tablespoon coconut nectar (can also use maple syrup)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 tsp ground black pepper
Instructions
For the dressing: Gently whisk all ingredients together in a small bowl until combined. Season to taste, and add extra sweetener, vinegar or lemon juice as needed.
Arrange the arugula, on a medium sized platter or large flat bottomed bowl. Add the fennel, red onion, and pears. Sprinkle with pecans, pumpkin seeds, and arils.
Top salad with dill fronds.
When ready to serve, drizzle with ginger dressing.
A few weeks ago, I helped teach a cooking class, and one of my responsibilities was to make drinks for everyone. I opted for hot mulled cider and spiced apple tea. The cider was a huge hit! It got me thinking about a nice autumn cocktail. I don’t drink alcohol anymore since it does a number on my tummy. I found, however, an excellent non-alcohol spirit called Aplós.
It is a plant-based, organic, non-alcoholic citrusy spirit infused with 20 mg of broad-spectrum hemp. It is intended to give the same uplifting and calming effects as alcohol, but without the ill effects of alcohol. I don’t know about you, but it sounded like the perfect base for an autumn cocktail recipe!
Who wants Enchiladas Verdes? If you’ve been following my page for a while, you’ll know that Mexican food is my most favorite food. I know, I know, I say that every time. But it’s true, and there is an excellent reason. If you don’t believe me, make these enchiladas. I promise you’ll understand me then! I need to open a fully vegan Mexican restaurant!
Typically Enchiladas Verdes, Verdes meaning green in Spanish, is made with chicken. But I wanted to do something different and grabbed a pack of Hungry Planet beef instead. From there, everything is precisely the same. They were off the chart amazing! If I had them in a restaurant, I would have complimented the chef! You can find Hungry Planet at a market near you!
I have an excellent store-bought Verdes sauce that I like to use. I grated 3/4 of a pack of Miyoko’s mozzarella for the cheese and then crumbled the rest for garnish. These bad boys were on the table in 35 minutes! If you feel like cooking, then double the recipe and freeze a pan for later! If you decide to do that, set them out. I can’t wait to make them again! If you make them tag me and let me know how you liked them!
In a medium non-stick skillet over medium-low heat, sauté onion until translucent, about 7-8 minutes. If they begin to stick, add 1-2 tablespoons of water.
Add garlic and sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Season with salt and pepper and Mexican seasoning.
Add beef and cook until meat has browned about 5-7 minutes.
Taste for seasoning.
Add 1/2 cup mozzarella and stir until melted. Remove from heat.
Add one can of green enchilada sauce to the bottom of a 9×12 baking dish.
Dredge both sides of each shell in the enchilada sauce, and fill with 3-4 tablespoons of filing.
Roll and place each tortilla seam side down in the pan.
Top with the additional can of green sauce.
Top with grated cheese and cover tightly with foil.
Place in oven and bake for 20 minutes.
Remove foil and bake for an additional 5-7 minutes, or until lightly browned.
Garnish with remaining diced onion, red sauce, sour cream, and cilantro.
Who doesn’t love pasta? This recipe has been one of my most requested! It is mouth-watering, literally. Just be careful when you’re making the sauce. I kept “testing” it. To make sure it was good, you know? Anyway, I was so full that I only had a couple of bites when I sat down to eat it. The good news? It makes a lot, and the leftovers the next day didn’t disappoint!
I always boil my tempeh. Mostly because I’m not too fond of the slightly bitter flavor and cooking it for about 10 minutes removes all of that acrid taste. I like the Lightlife brand, but I’m not beholden to it. If you have a brand, you prefer then definitely use it.
The creole spice mix is so good and keeps well if you decide to make it. Otherwise, any store-bought creole/cajun spice mix works. If heat isn’t your thing, then skip the red pepper flakes and add black pepper instead. Be sure to get a good quality rigatoni. I like to buy my pasta in bulk directly from DeLallo, or the Italian Food Online Store.
I hope you enjoy this recipe and it becomes a favorite part of your dinner rotation!
Warm a skillet over medium-high heat. Add oil. When the oil is shimmering, add tempeh. Cook for 3-5 minutes on each side. When golden brown, remove from heat and set aside.
Roasted Red Pepper Sauce:
In a skillet over medium-high heat, add oil. When oil begins to shimmer, add onions. Sauté until onions become translucent—about 8 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds—season with salt and pepper. Remove from heat.
In a high speed, blender add the béchamel, stock, roasted red peppers, basil, salt, and red pepper flakes. Blend until smooth.
Add sauce to the onion mixture. Stir well, and add dried parsley and reserved red peppers, and tempeh. Simmer over medium heat until sauce is warmed through entirely—taste for seasoning.
Cook pasta until al dente (about 6-8 minutes)
Serve in a pasta bowl. Top with vegan parmesan and fresh minced basil. Enjoy!
Super easy and super yummy! I use this tofu “bacon” in bowls, on sandwiches, and sometimes, I like to just eat it straight from the pan! It’s a nice accompaniment to my vegan scramble! Enjoy!
Super easy and you can skip the pig! I like this on a BLT! Be sure to let it get nice and crispy. But be careful, it can burn!
Ingredients
Scale
8 oz pack extra firm tofu, drained, and sliced into 1/8” thick slices
1/4 cup avocado or grape seed oil (or another neutral oil)
2 Tbsp tamari
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 Tbsp maple syrup
1/2 tsp liquid smoke*
1 pinch sea salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
Instructions
While tofu is draining whisk avocado oil and remaining ingredients to a large shallow baking dish, preferably one that has a lid.
When tofu is ready cut into 1/8” slices and add to marinade.Marinade for at least 20 minutes,or preferably over night.
Preheat skillet over medium heat.Add oil to a pan.When oil is shimmering, add tofu.
Cook tofu on each side about 6 minutes per side, or until golden brown.Flip and cook for another 5-7 minutes, or until tofu is crispy and golden brown. Watch carefully in the last minutes of cooking and be careful not to burn as it can go from brown, to burnt, very quickly.
I’ll be honest. I am not a fan of cauliflower. To me, it’s the bottom rung on the ladder of cruciferous vegetables. I despise cauliflower rice, and raw cauliflower gags me. But one evening, a chef friend of mine made me a cauliflower steak for dinner. Ever gracious, I took a deep breath and a steak knife and took my first bite. Well, I guess the rest is history, as they say since I’m writing a recipe for cauliflower steaks!
I chose to pan-sear the steaks to get that nice brown crust, and then I finished them off in the oven to speed up the cooking process. I also used safflower oil to cook with since it has a high smoke point of 501°, to be exact. Olive oil has a medium smoke point cannot be heated past 405°. Fat begins to break when heated past its smoking point, releasing free radicals and a substance called acrolein, the chemical that gives burnt foods their acrid flavor and aroma. Think watering eyes, a stinky kitchen, and bitter, scorched food.
The critical thing to note in this recipe is how to stem and cut the cauliflower. I found that removing the outer green leaves and most but not all of the stem is crucial. Trim off the bottom of the cauliflower stem but make sure to keep the core intact. I find that one large head of cauliflower makes about three 1 1/2 ” steaks. To ensure flat sides, I trim the outer edges of the cauliflower on each side-taking off about an inch and a half. Slice carefully.
If you make the steaks be sure to tag me and let me know how you like them! Enjoy!
This cauliflower steak is so flavorful and quite filling! Be sure to buy a large head to ensure decent size steaks. And using Montreal steak seasoning is a perfect way to spice them up! You can top with a variety of roasted vegetables and creamy mild tasting white beans for protein!
Ingredients
Scale
1 large head of cauliflower, trimmed and cut into 1 1/2″ steaks (see note)
Heat a cast-iron skillet or other oven-safe, heavy bottom frying pan over medium-high heat. When warm add, two tablespoons of safflower oil.
Brush each side of the cauliflower steaks with oil and sprinkle with Montreal seasoning.
Carefully add steaks to a frying pan and sear each side until golden brown, about 5-7 minutes per side.
When steaks are golden brown, remove the pan from the heat put directly in the oven for approximately 8-10 minutes, or until fork tender.
Carefully remove pan from oven. Plate cauliflower steaks and drizzle with chimichurri sauce.
Serve immediately.
Notes
*This oil is high in vitamin E; one tablespoon contains 28% of a person’s daily recommended intake of the nutrient. It has a high smoke point and doesn’t have a strong flavor, which means it won’t overwhelm a dish.
This delicious herb-based sauce comes from the Argentinian/Uruguay areas of South America. Chimichurri is often served as an accompaniment to asados or grilled meats. It also makes a great marinade, and it’s perfect as a drizzle on my Smoky Cauliflower Steaks!
This sauce is one of my go-to’s for a variety of Buddha Bowls. It’s also great to use as an oil-based marinade. The longer it sits, the better it is, so I recommend making it a few days before you want to use it for the best flavor. It keeps well in an air-tight container in the fridge for up to two weeks.
You can use this delicious Argentinian-based sauce in a variety of ways! You can use it as a marinade for tofu or as a drizzle on your Buddha Bowls or roasted veggies! I do not blend all ingredients in a food processor, or blender like many recipes do. You don’t want a paste-like pesto. You want a loosely packed oil with herbs.
Ingredients
Scale
5garlic cloves,minced
1 1/2cupsflat-leaf Italian parsley, minced
1cupcilantro, minced
1 shallot, finely chopped
Grated zest of one lemon, and the juice
1 1/2teaspoonsoregano
1/8teaspooncayenne pepper, or two small chilies, seeded & minced
1teaspoonkosher salt
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/2cupextra virgin olive oil
Instructions
Combine shallot, chiles or cayenne, garlic, vinegar, lemon juice, and 1 tsp. salt in a medium bowl.
Let sit for 10 minutes.
Stir in minced cilantro and parsley. Add oregano.
Using a fork, gradually whisk in oil.
Transfer Chimichurri to a small bowl; season with salt.
When I was a kid, I wouldn’t say I liked beets. As an adult, I was determined to make nice. And I’m so glad I did. They are not only delicious, but they are also super healthy. Rich in folate (Vitamin B9), they help the body make red blood cells. Like Anthocyanins in red grapes and Beta Carotene in carrots, beets contain Betalains which are unique nitrogen-containing pigments and are cancer and heart protective.
This recipe makes a great salad year-round! It makes a lovely addition to a holiday table, and it’s a delicious and easy salad to make in the summer. I PROCESS MY BEETS IN THE PRESSURE COOKER because I’m not particularly eager to turn on the oven in the summer. But you can use an oven just the same. Typically, I don’t boil them because they lose their deep red color. If you choose to boil them, leave about one inch of stem intact to help minimize color loss while cooking,
If you want to really jazz it up you can use half red and half golden beets. It is also yummy with chopped pistachios and vegan feta!
If you make the salad, tag me let me know how you liked it!
Who doesn’t love a good pizza? As a vegan, though, we are often left out in the cold with a pizza with no cheese. In fact, I’m pretty sure cheese is the only reason most people eat pizza! If you’re like me, store-bought cheeses are out of the question. They’re usually off in texture, or there’s something funky about the flavor. Don’t get me wrong, there are some decent options these days, but they’re usually costly and leave me wondering about better options.
Without ado, I present the better option— This creamy garlic cashew sauce. It could not be easier to make, and I promise you will never miss cheese on a pizza again. Promise. I simply made it of cashews, filtered water, garlic and onion powder, oregano, salt, and nutritional yeast. The sheer simplicity of the sauce makes it a favorite of mine. Not to mention the ease with which it comes together. Throw it all in a blender and hit go. I have a high-powered Vitamix, and it takes me a solid minute or so to blend. If you don’t have a high-powered blender, I recommend boiling the cashews for 10-15 minutes and then rinse and blend.
Hungry Planet makes a mean Italian sausage that cooks up quickly and tastes fantastic. However, I have to be careful not to eat it all before adding it to my pizza! You don’t want to overcook it! So I brown it over medium heat for just a few minutes (3-5) until it gets a bit brown. And then I finish cooking it in the oven.
The caramelized onions add a natural sweetness and pair perfectly with the spicy Italian sausage. The key to good caramelization is the “Low and Slow” motto. Also, I never use oil, only water, and salt, when I caramelize. You won’t let the onions, which are very high in water content, release their water, just not too much, too fast. If the onions begin to stick, add a tablespoon or two of water.
The other key to a good pizza is the crust, of course. If you are a purist and like baking, then making your crust is the way to go. I wouldn’t say I enjoy baking and found an excellent store-bought crust that I love.
If you make this, drop me a line and let me know how you liked it!
If you have a Vitamix or other high-powered blender, add all white sauce ingredients and blend well until smooth. Set aside.
Add sliced onion to a large skill and cook over medium-low heat. Cook for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Add salt, continue cooking until softened and browned for about 15 minutes. If the onions begin to stick, add water one tablespoon at a time until they release. Remove onions from the pan and set aside.
In the same pan, add Italian sausage and cook over medium heat until slightly browned about 3-5 minutes. Remove from heat.
Add approximately 1 cup of sauce to each crust, top with onions and Italian sausage. I also added a tablespoon of red pepper flakes to add a little heat.
Bake at 400° for about 12-15 minutes.
Let cool and slice.
Notes
**If you do not have a high speed blender, soak your cashews overnight, or boil for 10-15 minutes.
I love summer. I love the long warm days, eating juicy watermelon by the pound, and spending as much time in the water as possible. Summer’s bounty includes tomatoes, cucumbers, cherries, all the berries, but especially strawberries. I have fond memories of those little round shortcakes filled with fresh strawberries and cool-whip my mom used to make! And I still love it.
I have also grown quite fond of fresh rhubarb. Although rhubarb is a vegetable, it is often put to the same culinary use as a fruit. The leaf stalks can be used raw (I love it thinly shaved), and it tastes a lot like celery. But most commonly, it is boiled down with sugar and made into things like pies or this sorbet!
When choosing rhubarb, look for crisp stalks that are firm and tender. Try to avoid stalks that are too woody or thick. And unlike its friend, the strawberry, color doesn’t have much impact on taste.
There is some sugar in this recipe but do not reduce the amount. Sugar lowers the freezing point of water and helps prevent crystallization.
Finally, when choosing strawberries, look for the gariguette strawberry. They are the sweetest and most fragrant strawberries you’ll ever taste. If you can’t find the french variety, try to buy them locally if you can. A fresh strawberry should be firm to the touch, bright red, and free of bruises. And yellowish/green berries do not ripen at home, so remember that when you won’t think you want summer berries in December!
Basically frozen water, fruit, and sugar, a sorbet is a perfect summer dessert! This frozen base would also be great as a margarita, or daiquiri.
Ingredients
Scale
3 stalks of fresh rhubarb, washed and thinly sliced
1 lbstemmed and chopped gariguette strawberries
1/2 cup water
3/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons orange zest (about 1 orange)
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated or minced
1/4 tsp salt
Instructions
In a medium saucepan, bring all ingredients to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes, or until the rhubarb is quite soft. Remove from heat and let cool.
Transfer the mixture to a blender or food processor and carefully mix until smooth. If using a blender, do so in batches so the mixture doesn’t overflow and burns you. Chill the mixture in the fridge for about 3 hours, or until cool. (About one hour in the freezer).
Pour the mixture into an ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
If you are not using an ice cream maker, you can also pour the mixture into a freezer-safe container and freeze. It will be ready in about 3-4 hours. Best made the day before and frozen overnight.
The other day I got a letter addressed to me from AARP. Yep, the American Association of Retired People. I did a double-take and was immediately incensed that someone thought I was old enough to get a letter from Matt McCoy. I tore it up and haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
The truth is, I’m turning fifty in November. When I was a kid, I thought that a fifty-year-old person was old. I mean, they weren’t old, old, but they were definitely old. Then again, anyone over the age of 30 was old. But what I am is neither young nor old. I am no longer sprightly, yet not weary. I am not foolhardy, but not wary and skittish either. Sandwiched by aging parents and younger children, I am somewhere in the middle of all these things.
If the year were 1921, I would have already lived 83.3% of my life. Yep, exactly one hundred years ago, the average lifespan for a woman was sixty-one and sixty-years-old for a man. Thanks to substantial health improvements (although this is declining in the US), we are all living longer lives. They say fifty is the new forty, and technically it’s true. Globally our lifespan has doubled since 1900. We live longer, but our quality of life is diminishing, and the stigma of getting older still exists.
For me, middle-age hasn’t meant much. According to my doctor, I have the bloodwork of a healthy twenty-five-year-old. I credit my plant-based diet, my yoga practice, and my love for physical activities. I have also recently taken up kayaking and trail running. After years of pounding the pavement, I am now more of a dirt and roots kind of girl. I am seeking things that challenge me physically and mentally push me out of my comfort zone. I am, as Thomas admonishes, “raging against the dying of the light.” I know that it is up to me to keep the flame burning bright. I think, therefore, I am.
But if age really is a state of mind, then I will leave you with the wise words of my Guru.
“Growing old is a long-established habit of losing the authority to remain vital. It’s an approval and disapproval that’s passed through generations of DNA with body language, eye and facial expressions, tones of voice, gestures with the hands, and countless conversations about exhaustion. Staying young and vibrant throughout life — mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually — requires maintenance of an authority to be unique and never give up. This means honoring the cells of your body; the ideas in the mind, and the freedom to relate in a heart-to-heart way with everyone.
When conscious of this, you grow wiser and remain vital, and life’s stresses dissolve in a healthy awareness. Human beings need to capture this immortal authority. . . random traits with no real value, or vitality that do no good. To remain youthful, vital and healthy, you must give yourself permission to be full of yourself, and then validate this freedom. This freedom discovers the true nature of evolution . . . a step by step process of progress. It’s a trial with errors and healthy forgiveness with loving kindness . . . a check and balance that assures the ultimate accuracy of your growth. This allows you to keep up in the midst of “normal” doubt and the “looks” you’ll receive for impacting the Earth so dramatically.
Our prayer is that you choose to remain this vital and free, rather than following the habits of the crowd; that your ideas remain as tolerant of others as you expect others to be of you; that you connect your physical world to your immortal soul, and allow this marriage to guide you through a kind and loving life on Earth that extends the envelope everywhere, and does this well beyond one hundred years.” —Guru Singh Yogi
I’ve wanted to make this recipe for a long time. I also wanted to create a yummy recipe for the 4th of July. Hence, the raw cheesecake! Key Lime Pie screams summer, but I wanted to make something a little more festive for a holiday. At first, I tried making a red, white, and blue cheesecake, but that idea came crashing down when I couldn’t get a pretty red layer. It kept coming up pink. And on one occasion, it even turned brown! The alternative was to use food coloring, but I wanted to keep it clean. In the end, I decided the red should come from fresh raspberries. You could even use pomegranate arils, or pitted cherries as an alternative. It is beautiful, as well as delicious!
Since it does require some freezer time, you’ll want to make this the day before. For the first layer, I would recommend freezing for at least 3-4 hours before adding the second layer. When I made this the first time, I used soft-baked vegan oatmeal cookies pulsed with coconut oil for the crust. It was yummy, but it wasn’t raw. If you decide to use the cookies, you will need at least eight large soft-baked cookies and 1/4 cup coconut oil. I liked the addition of the raisins in my crust, but if you don’t, either pick them out or find oatmeal cookies without raisins (not easy to do, by the way).
If you make this let me know how you like it! Be sure to let the cheesecake thaw for at least 25-30 minutes before serving.
Line a round 9-inch springform pan with parchment paper, and set aside.
Add all ingredients to a food processor and blitz until a fine meal has formed. The crust should stick together well. If too dry and crumbly, slowly add up to 1 tablespoon water.
Press mixture into pan, or small individual pans (will make about 12 small tarts).
Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
Blue spirulina layer:
Add all ingredients in a processor and process until smooth.
Pour mixture over the refrigerated crust. Place in the freezer for at least 3-4 hours.
Key Lime Layer:
Repeat the same process for the key lime layer. Pour mixture over the set blue spirulina layer and freeze overnight.
4. When ready to serve, remove cheesecake from mold and place it on top of the base and garnish with red fruit of choice and freshly grated lime zest. Allow to thaw for a few minutes before eating.
Enjoy!
Notes
Be sure to soak, or boil your dates—especially if they have been around for awhile!
When I was a kid in the early ’80s, my parents used to take my brother and me to a Mexican restaurant in Kansas City called Manny’s. That place shaped my palate—rich spices, bold flavors, and food that felt like a celebration. It’s still on my bucket list every time I head home.
These days, I always call ahead and speak with the chef about vegan options. It makes things easier for everyone, and honestly, you’re guaranteed a much better dish when the kitchen’s had a little time to plan. Thoughtfulness goes both ways—and good food always follows.
Fortunately, back then, my dad spoke pretty good Spanish—so we could actually order! I think Manny’s offers English service now, but back then… not so much. I’m pretty sure my love for Mexican food was born in that little dining room, spooning into dishes full of warmth and spice.
One of my all-time favorites was the Chili Relleno. I loved them—stuffed peppers oozing with gooey cheese and beef, then deep-fried to golden perfection. This recipe I’m sharing today isn’t quite that (no cheese bombs or fryers involved), but it’s definitely inspired by those same bold, comforting flavors.
Thankfully, the world of plant-based meats has come a long way, baby. These days, the options are endless—and most of them are pretty good! That said, they can also be pricey. Which is why I often turn to our humble, versatile friend: the mushroom.
Back in the ’90s, when I first started eating vegetarian, I would’ve reached for TVP—Texturized Vegetable Protein. It’s easy to use, super affordable, and soaks up flavor like a champ. But today? I’m team minced fungi all the way. Mushrooms bring that meaty texture and savory depth without needing a label or a lab.
Here’s to the memories that shaped us, the meals that nourished us, and the flavors that bring us home. Wishing you a summer full of sunshine, laughter, and something delicious on your plate. Nos vemos pronto. Cuídate mucho.🌞🌶️💛
Try and find poblanos that are large and uniformly shaped. Slice evenly down the one of the center lines.
4–6 poblano peppers slices in half length wise (remove seeds and ribs)
2 tbsp of olive oil, or 1/4 cup water if no oil
1 (12 oz.) package of plant-based sausage, or (12 oz) of minced cremini mushrooms
1 jalapeño, seeded and chopped
1 white onion, chopped
1 (15oz) can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 roasted red pepper, diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp oregano
¾ cup cooked rice, quinoa, or amaranth
½ cup of fresh/frozen corn kernels
1 (4 oz.) can of diced green chilies
1 cup of Queso Blanco, or other vegan cheese of choice
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly grease, or line, a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Arrange halved poblano peppers in a single layer on the baking sheet and bake for 10-15 minutes.
Meanwhile, heat a medium skillet over medium-high heat. When ready, add oil and when oil is shimmering, add the sausage or mushrooms, onion, garlic, and jalapeño. Sauté until sausage is cooked through, use a spoon or spatula to break up sausage as it cooks.
Add the spices and grain of choice to the pan, and stir well. Next, add red peppers and green chilies, mix well. Finally, add the black beans and corn, stir. Cook for 5-7 minutes, or until sauce has reduced a bit. Remove from heat and let cool.
Spoon mixture into the peppers, drizzle with queso, and return to oven for another 10-15 minutes or until peppers are tender and cheese is melted. Allow peppers to cool slightly before serving. Serve with minced cilantro and salsa.
My father died last year. He had just turned 70 years old. The official diagnosis was Agent Orange Related Parkinson’s Disease. The official cause of death was asphyxiation. He died choking on his own blood. And though he may have died on January 29, 2020, the truth is, Agent Orange exposure killed him 50 years before.
For the first two years of their marriage, my mom was the recipient of many a late-night trip to the floor as my father would grab her and toss her, yelling “incoming.” The only story I had ever heard about his time in Vietnam was one in which he was riding shotgun, holding a gun, as their convoy passed through a small village. As was often the case, the villagers in town would gather on each side of the road as the soldiers would throw provisions and food to them.
The young Vietnamese children would run up yelling, “chop, chop,” which meant candy. My Dad said he often knew when they were among the Viet Cong because no one gathered. But this particular day, as the crowd parted, a young Vietnamese girl about four years old walked from the crowd and stopped about 20 feet ahead of them. My father saw the grenade. As the truck stopped, he got out and slowly made his way over to her. He spoke to her in Vietnamese and asked her to drop it. He asked again, and he asked again. But the child reached for the pin. In one fail swoop, my father made a decision that changed his view of life forever.
The only other story I have heard about my Dad, and Vietnam, came last week at his service. This letter was written by one of my Dad’s platoon buddies. Jay had reached out to my Dad via email before he died, but my Dad could not respond. So after letting him know about the email, Reverend Apple decided to reach out to Jay. This is the letter that Reverend Apple read…
Hello Reverend Apple,
Thanks so much for letting me know about Glenn’s passing. I am sorry to hear that he is gone and wish we might have had the opportunity to reconnect. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
Glenn saved my life on Easter Sunday 1969 (April 6) in a clearing in the jungle near Black Virgin Mountain Nui Be Den) in Vietnam. Our company’s lead platoon was ambushed earlier in the afternoon. Two men either killed or badly injured lying in the clearing, exposed to fire from North Vietnamese Army soldiers concealed in well-camouflaged bunkers. Our platoon was called forward to try to reach the casualties, and the platoon leader instructed me to send a fire team (3-4 guys) forward toward the nearest body to pull it back.
Leading the team, I crawled across the clearing but was suddenly hit by a burst of fire from an AK-47, which tore my rifle from my hands and also punctured my left lung, just missed my heart, and wedged within an inch of my spine. About the same time, a rocket-propelled grenade went off in a tree at the edge of the clearing, and I was also spattered with shrapnel. I did some serious praying, and God sent Glenn Dale and the platoon leader across that bullet-swept field to pull me back. Unfortunately, the enemy was still very much present, as I was shot again in the leg after being pulled back to our side of the clearing.
I suspect Glenn did not receive an award for bravery for his actions that day (enlisted men seldom did). Still, he certainly deserved to do so, as he openly exposed himself to the enemy fire to carry me to safety. Without his action, I would certainly have died there and then.
Later in the afternoon, I almost missed the medevac helicopter, as they thought I was a goner. When I finally lay on an operating table at a MASH hospital in Tay Ninh, a priest gave me the last rites. You cannot imagine my surprise when I awoke the following day. I spent the rest of 1969 in military hospitals until discharged – from the hospital and the army – on December 31, 1969.
Please express my condolences and my eternal thanks to Glenn’s family for sending him to me on that Easter over a half-century ago.
Everyone loves hummus! At least, everyone I know loves hummus. But I’ll be you’ve never had hummus made with ingredients forged from your backyard! And I don’t mean your garden! Here in Missouri, we have an overabundance (literally) of wild garlic mustard. A few weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to take a walk in the woods with a Conservation Agent. She showed our group how to identify wild edible mushrooms, wild ginger, and wild garlic mustard. In addition, we found wild onions and learned about edible flowers. Hence, my recipe for Wild Garlic Mustard Hummus with Roasted Radish and Wildflowers!
I have wanted to make this recipe for a while but just haven’t had the time. Until now! I was a little nervous about posting this hummus, as I thought many people might refrain from making it because of the “wild” nature of the recipe! But, I decided to make it anyway because finding wild garlic mustard is very easy for those who want to head to the woods. For those who are not feeling quite that adventurous, feel free to use dandelion greens, arugula, or another spicy green!
Know Before You Go
Garlic Mustard is one of the more popular wild edibles, and it is also one of the healthiest. However, it would be best to learn how to identify it correctly before you can forage this wild edible. Thankfully Garlic Mustard is a straightforward plant to identify, plus it does not have any toxic look likes to my knowledge. It is also considered to be an invasive plant, so it is not recommended that you plant it after you pull it.
Wild Garlic Mustard
I do not particularly care for raw radishes! They are just a little too spicy for my palate. However, roasting them brings out their natural sweetness and transforms them into something I can’t get enough of! They add a lovely addition and the farmer’s markets are brimming with them! If you opt for the wildflowers be sure they are far enough in the woods that they don’t get sprayed with pesticides. The tops of clover are a perfect choice. Wild blue phlox (the perennial kind in the woods), marigolds, dandelions, nasturtiums, roses, or the tops off of any flowering herb work well as a topper! I have tons of phlox in my backyard so it was an obvious choice for me!
1 lb. fresh radishes, stems removed, ends trimmed, and halved
1 tablespoon melted coconut oil, or avocado oil
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 tspdried chives
1/4 tsp dried dill
2 garlic cloves, finely minced
Hummus:
1 cupwild garlic mustard, rinsed, and chopped
1can organicchickpeas, drained, and rinsed
3 Tbsp organic tahini
1 Tbsp(15ml)lemon juice, about 1/2 a large lemon
½tspsalt
½tspcumin
2 Tbsp (30ml)water
2 Tbsp(30ml)olive oil (if oil free, you can sub oil for chickpea brine)
Instructions
Radishes:
Preheat oven to 425℉. In a bowl, combine the radishes, coconut oil, herbs, salt, and pepper. Toss until the radishes are evenly coated. (Note: don’t add the minced garlic until step 3).
Spread radishes out in a single layer in a large parchment lined baking sheet.
Bake for 20-25 minutes, tossing every 10 minutes. After the first 10 minutes of baking add the minced garlic and toss. Return to oven to bake an additional 10-15 minutes or until radishes are golden brown and easily pierced with a fork.
Garnish with fresh parsley, dill, or chives
Hummus:
Add all ingredients to a food processor and blend until smooth.
If the hummus is too dry, add 1 tbsp of water, or aquafaba (chickpea brine) until desired consistency is achieved.
Taste for seasoning. Garnish with radishes and flowers.
Hummus will last up to a week refrigerated and stored in an air tight jar.
Serve with pita bread, raw or roasted vegetables, and thinned out with water it makes a great salad dressing!
It’s Cinco de Mayo, and I don’t have a lot of time to waste! I was in the middle of a lesson plan with my kiddos when I remembered this culinary holiest of holidays! Anytime I get a chance to eat Mexican food, I do! I also do it with extreme vigor, hence, these nachos! Served with my Queso Blanco, these babies will have you dancing in your kitchen! Why do you ask, are they so good?
Because the “jackfruit carnitas” is the star of the show. Not going to lie. I can be found eating it fresh out of the oven while it’s still on the baking sheet! I love this recipe and find that finishing it in the oven is why it goes from good…to out of this world! Even your hardcore meat-eating friends will LOVE these nachos!
Don’t be afraid of the number of ingredients. They are primarily spices. If you don’t want to make the spice mix, you can always grab a pre-made Mexican spice mix at the grocery store. You can also make the carnitas in advance, then slow-warm them in a 350°F oven. Just sprinkle the jackfruit with 2 tbsp of water, and stir well. Add to a prepared baking sheet and warm in the oven for 20 minutes! ¡Ahí lo tienes!
Preheat oven to 425° F. Prepare a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Drain jackfruit in a colander and use your fingers, and shred jackfruit into pieces. (I generally pick out the seed pods and toss them). Set aside.
Heat a medium skillet (I use cast-iron) over medium heat. When the pan is warmed, add oil. Add onion and cook until softened, translucent, and lightly caramelized, about 7-8 minutes. Add sliced garlic and cook until soft and fragrant, about 1-2 minutes.
Add spices. Mix well and sauté for 30 seconds to a minute.
Add tomato paste and stir well.
Add prepared jackfruit and soy sauce, maple syrup, liquid smoke, citrus juices, and cider vinegar. Stir well—season with salt and pepper. Simmer the mixture gently for another 10-15 minutes. Carefully remove from pan and add to prepared baking sheet. Add to the oven, and slow roast jackfruit for 20 minutes, or until edges begin to crisp and brown. While the jackfruit is in the oven, prep your toppings.
Chop avocados, green onions, and tomatoes. Shred the lettuce.
Remove jackfruit from the oven and immediately season jackfruit with fresh lime juice, 1/2 tsp smoked paprika, salt, and pepper. (Mix spices together in a small bowl and sprinkle over the top).
Assemble nachos, add your favorite ingredients, and enjoy!
It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve been thinking a lot about writing, I just haven’t actually written anything down. Much like writing recipes, I have gotten to the point where I only want to write something that’s meaningful to me. I put a lot of pressure on myself to create and make something consistently. And then I end up not wanting to do anything at all. Run the other way, if you will.
According to my doc, it’s making my blood pressure go up. That scared me. I will 50 years old in 6 months, and I refuse to take medications. So, I’m going to try the opposite approach and give myself some space. It is there where I imagine I will find my creativity again and hopefully regain my peace.
Highly medicated
Speaking of medications, I get my second Covid shot in a few weeks. I’m excited. I’m also a bit flabbergasted by those who still think the vaccine is going to make them sterile, or it’s deep state government trying to change their DNA, or it’s the mark of the beast. These are most likely the same folks who are taking 2-3 different pharmaceuticals already.
I say this confidently since nearly 70% of American’s take at least one prescription drug, and more than half take two, according to the Mayo Clinic. Things like statins, anti-depressants, and immunosuppressants, are the most common. These are also the same drug manufacturers who are making the Covid vaccine. Am I the only one who sees the irony in this?
Why then are American’s so suddenly concerned about what they put in their bodies? Between the food they eat and their lifestyle medications, it’s the Covid vaccine that’s got everyone all up in arms? On one hand, it’s strange to me, but on the other hand, it’s not surprising. I remind myself that I live in a country that spends more money on healthcare than anyone else in the world. Yet, we are also the sickest of all of the industrialized nations.
I get it, a significant concern for many is the limited amount of testing and safety trials. While this is understandable, did you know that for a major pharmaceutical company to get drug approval, they only need to have two trials that show the drug is effective and safe? So, a drug company could have run 100 trials against the placebo, and even if 98 trials indicated they were not effective but at least two of them showed they were effective, they could move on to the next phase of getting them out to the public. Two is all they need.
Science Matters
My good friend Dan is a biochemist and QA Manager at Pfizer. He is also one of the scientists who worked tirelessly to help create the vaccine against Covid-19. In the human trials at Pfizer, the vaccine was compared to the placebo in 43,448 people. During the study, 170 participants developed Covid. When the blind study was revealed, 162 of the patients were in the placebo group. In other words, they did not get the vaccine. Of the ten most severe cases, 9 out of 10 were also the placebo group. Moderna’s results were very similar. There were 185 cases, and all but 11 were in the placebo group. But of Moderna’s most severe cases, 30 out of 30 were in the placebo. They both show 90% effectiveness.
Aside from the vaccine, the best cure for covid might just be education. My daughter and I took a walk behind our house the other day. We live in the woods, and there is an old cemetery about ¼ mile out of our backdoor. When I say old, it’s between 150-220 years old. She was fascinated by how young people were when they died back then. We counted only a handful of people who were over the age of 70. We talked about the kinds of things people died from, including smallpox, tuberculosis, typhoid, mumps, measles, rubella.
You get my point. Vaccines have helped us more than they’ve hurt us. Science matters, and it’s essential to our survival. Social media can help speak the truth, but it’s also the new National Enquirer in many ways. And it should not and cannot be one’s only source of information.
Conspiracy theories
When 11 percent or about 39.6 million American’s believe the government is mandating a switch to compact fluorescent light bulbs because the light bulbs make people obedient and easy to control, we have a problem on our hands. Disinformation and conspiracy theories have become a cultural pandemic. And experts see this spread of disinformation as a public health emergency that’s threatening democracy, increasing the risk of further violence, and straining family relationships.
This misinformation includes those who believe that the vaccine has a tracking device, or a chip, implanted in it. Some of these people are Christian right devotees for whom politics has become their new religion. The idea that the chips will allow the government and corporations to surveil people who get the vaccine is complete unproven nonsense. Also, Microsoft founder Bill Gates and cell towers using 5G technology are also allegedly involved. Apparently, there’s a video on the internet that Gates made about COVID-19 vaccines and it has convinced some they can change DNA, the molecule that contains a person’s genetic code.
How far are we willing to allow these people to take us? Certain estimates are that only 47% of people in the US are willing to get vaccinated. That is not enough for us to obtain herd immunity and finally move past this. When ignorance and fear take the place of logic and science, I fear we are doomed.
He has been a mainstay at the AutismOne conference, which attracts fake experts convinced that vaccines cause autism. In his last appearance as keynote speaker, he incited attendees to evangelize for the anti-vaccination movement, concluding that he would see them “on the barricades.” Kennedy is anti-science, and not just anti-vaccine; by many recent accounts, he is one of the princes of the anti-vaccination movement, if not its king.”
Let the past be our guide…
So how do we untangle the truth? It turns out the best way to fight a conspiracy theory isn’t with facts. If you’re trying to debunk them on Facebook, you’re likely wasting your time, said Geoff Dancy, associate professor of political science at Tulane University School of Liberal Arts. “Debunking means saying, ‘Hey, look, there’s this fact that your theory can’t explain. So you shouldn’t believe it anymore, right?’ Why doesn’t that work?
Well, conspiracy theorists are remarkably resilient to that kind of a thing,” Dancy said. “To change a conspiracy theorist’s ideas or susceptibility to the actual truth, you have to change the way that you interact with them.” Seeking the truth together, developing trust, and encouraging people to read information from various credible sources can be helpful.
Many people with lower levels of education tend to be drawn to conspiracy theories. And we don’t argue that’s because people are not intelligent. It’s simply that they haven’t been allowed to have or haven’t been given access to the tools to enable them to differentiate between sound sources and wrong sources or credible sources and non-credible sources. So, they’re looking for that knowledge and certainty but not necessarily looking in the right places. The truth is, we don’t need to look anywhere else but in the past.
Before vaccines, the average lifespan at the time was around 35 years. Over the last 200 years, U.S. life expectancy has more than doubled to almost 80 years (78.8 in 2015), with vast improvements in health and quality of life. Yes, some people will have side effects, and in comparison to the enormous number of lives that are saved because of them, it is worth it.
Unfortunately, measles is now resurgent in the United States and in many other countries. We cannot let historical amnesia or misinformation be why we end up with a resurgence of diseases like polio, diphtheria, and measles. And we cannot let Covid-19 be what kills us.
I am a big pasta girl! But like most people, I would imagine, I tend to stick to traditional recipes like spaghetti, fettuccini, and lasagna. Mostly because buying a stuffed pasta like tortellini isn’t easy when you’re a vegan. So what is a girl to do? Make a fantastic version of goat cheese, add some dried herbs, stuff wonton wrappers with excellent cheese, and BOOM! Homemade tortellini!
I love this recipe…and admittedly, a lot is going on! But no worries, you can make much of the recipe in advance, aka the vegan goat cheese and the tortellini. In French, beurre means butter, and blanc means white. So, this is a classic “white” sauce made with butter!
I’m Beurre blanc can sometimes be viewed as tricky to make. It is prone to splitting Without adding egg yolk to stabilize the sauce. The acid in the citrus sauce can ‘break’ if heated too hot, too many times, or not whisked while heating. The key is to ensure that the butter is chilled and added slowly. Also, be sure to turn DOWN the heat to med/low when adding the butter so that you don’t end up with Beurre Marron! Good things come to those who wait.
As a matter of practice, I like to make my sauces an hour before use. I’m not too fond of surprises, and if, for some reason, the sauce doesn’t turn out, I still have time to make a new one. Yes, after almost 25 years, it still happens. If needed, it can easily be reheated over low heat.
Freezing the tortellini: If you don’t cook the tortellini immediately, freeze them on a sheet pan and transfer them to a freezer-safe container once they’re solid. The tortellini will be kept for about three months. Cook directly from the freezer, but increase the cooking time by a minute or two.
I love this recipe…and admittedly, a lot is going on! But no worries, you can make much of the recipe in advance, aka the vegan goat cheese and the tortellini. In French, beurre means butter, and blanc means white. So, this is a classic “white” sauce made with butter!
Beurre blanc can sometimes be viewed as tricky to make. Because without the addition of egg yolk to stabilize the sauce, it is prone to split. The acid in the citrus sauce can ‘break’ if heated too hot, or too many times, or not whisked while heating. The key is to ensure that the butter is chilled and added slowly. And also, be sure to turn DOWN heat to med/low when adding the butter so that you don’t end up with Beurre Marron! Good things come to those who wait.
As a matter of practice, I like to make my sauces an hour before use. I’m not too fond of surprises, and if for some reason the sauce doesn’t turn out, I still have time to make a new one. Yes, after almost 25 years, it does still happen. If needed, it can easily be reheated over low heat.
Freezing the tortellini: If not cooking the tortellini immediately, freeze them on a sheet pan and transfer them to a freezer-safe container once solid. Tortellini will keep for about three months. Cook directly from the freezer, but increase the cooking time by a minute or two.
Add almond cheese to a medium-size bowl. Add Herbs de Provence, parmesan cheese, fennel pollen, if using, and salt and pepper. Mix well.
Dust a clean surface with cornmeal. Lay wonton wrapper flat and add 1 rounded teaspoon to the center of the wrapper.
Lightly brush the edges of the wonton wrapper with water (I keep a small bowl of water nearby). Fold wonton into a triangle. Turn triangle, so the long edge is facing you. Gently press the filling flat and fold wonton 3/4 of the way upward, toward its tip. Flatten slightly. Brush each side of the flap with water. Placing your finger in the center of the fold, carefully fold each side over your finger. Lightly pinch closed. Continue until all cheese has been used.
Add tortellini to a parchment-lined baking sheet.
In a dutch oven, bring salted (about 1 tsp) water to a boil.
Drop tortellini into boiling water. Remove from water when tortellini begin to float.
Citrus Beurre Blanc:
Heat one tablespoon of butter in a saucepan and add the shallots. Cook briefly, stirring, and add the citrus and wine. Cook until the liquid is almost totally reduced.
Add the heavy cream and salt and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low and slowly add the pieces of butter, a few at a time, stirring rapidly with a wire whisk.
When sauce is done, add tortellini and stir until warmed through.
Serve in a shallow bowl, and top with fennel fronds and orange peel.
Squeeze a bit of fresh lemon juice over pasta, and serve warm.
This is THE best recipe for creating a rich vegan-style goat cheese! It’s tangy like goat cheese, creamy, and a bit crumbly like a Boursin, and You can slice it, diced, crumbled, even baked! It is also the rock star of my vegan cheese board! Made with coconut milk and almonds, this cheese can be ready to eat in as little as an hour. Quick note, be sure to buy “refined” coconut oil. If you use extra virgin or unrefined coconut oil, your cheese will taste like coconut.
Since it’s a cultured cheese, the longer it sits at room temperature, the tangier it will be. The sweet spot seems to be about 48 hours! I added one probiotic capsule to culture it. But if you like it tangier, you can add the contents of an additional probiotic capsule!
I found many recipes that use macadamia nuts or cashews, both of which are very expensive. For this recipe, I opted for blanched, slivered almonds. They’re inexpensive, and yet they have the mild flavor and similar fat content of the other two nuts. Fat is important for making cheese!
This cheese makes a great filling for ravioli or tortellini! It also makes a mean bruschetta! If you make this, please tag me and let me know how you like it!
I love this rice dish! It’s super simple to make and goes with just about everything! My daughter loves the cilantro rice at Qdoba, so I decided to make a homemade version just for her! I prefer brown basmati for general use, but for this dish, I opted for white basmati. With a high protein content and very low GI ranking, brown basmati rice can be a healthy option if you use grains. I have not tried this with cauliflower rice, but I would imagine it would be an easy swap!
I like to toast my rice before boiling it. Toasting grains before cooking can enhance the nutty depth of the grains, lending an extra layer of flavor to a final dish! This dish pairs well with my BBQ Tofu Bowl!
I love this seasoning! It’s bold and adds a nice “Steak” flavor to any plant-based meat! I use it in my BBQ Tofu Bowl, on soy curls, and my seitan steaks when I make vegan cheesesteaks!
Cacio E Pepe translates into cheese and pepper, my two girls’ favorite pasta on earth. It’s like fancy mac-n-cheese. The pure simplicity of this recipe makes it almost sinful to change, so I didn’t change much. I added red pepper flakes instead of the traditional black pepper and used vegan cheeses. I liked the addition of the roasted tomatoes a lot. They are like little cherry bombs that explode in your mouth!
The kicker for me was the fennel pollen. I have recently discovered this culinary rock star and plan to use it wisely since it is a little expensive, but the good news is that it goes a long way.
The key to this simple pasta is using just enough pasta water to cook the pasta noodles. Too much water and you will lose all of your starch; not enough water and you will have to add a little hot water to make the sauce.
When the pasta is al dente, you will drain and save the pasta water, ensuring you have about 2 1/2 cups. This water is what we will use to make the sauce. Add a little butter to the pan, add your pepper flakes, and sauté for 1-2 minutes. Then add the pasta water to the butter/pepper mix and the pasta and cheese. Stir until the cheese, add pasta to the pan, and Boom! Dinner is served!
I used bucatini because I love its thickness, but you can use any pasta you want.
This super simple pasta gets a little zing with some fennel pollen! If you’ve never had it you will love it. Be warned it’s kind of expensive, but a little goes a long way!
Ingredients
Scale
14 oz. pasta such as bucatini or spaghetti (*see note)
10 oz. pack sangria tomatoes (or, any 10 oz pack of cherry/grape tomatoes)
Pre-heat oven to 425° F and prep a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Lightly spray tomatoes with avocado oil or other spray oil and dust with fennel pollen and black pepper.
Roast tomatoes for 20-25 minutes, or until tomatoes are soft and fragrant.
Meanwhile, while tomatoes are roasting, boil 5 1/2 cups of salted water (about 1 1/2 tsp of salt) for your pasta.
Add pasta and stir occasionally. Cook until al dente, about 7-8 minutes.
Remove from heat and drain pasta, reserving 2 1/2 cups of water. Set pasta aside. (**See note)
In the same pan, over medium heat, add butter and red pepper flakes. Saute for 1-2 minutes until foaming and pepper flakes are fragrant. (Be warned the pepper can fill the air and your nose!)
Add pasta water and stir. Simmer until sauce has reduced somewhat, about 5 minutes.
Reduce heat to low and add pasta and cheeses. Stir to combine and add hot water if the sauce becomes too thick. Cook until the pasta has heated through.
Plate the pasta and top with roasted tomatoes.
Add additional cheese, pepper, and fennel pollen, to garnish and to taste.
Serve warm.
Notes
*If using gluten free pasta cook 3/4 of the way or it will fall apart. I use about 1 1/2 teaspoons of salt to my water. Rinse pasta well when done cooking.
**If you do not have 2 1/2 cups of reserved water after cooking pasta just add hot tap water.
This recipe is an excellent substitution for Romano cheese. And it’s cheaper than buying some of the pre-made vegan cheeses in the store. Not that I’m opposed to those cheeses. Some of them are great! It’s hard to find the ones I prefer locally, so I buy a favorite vegan parmesan through Thrive Market.
It can be stored in an air-tight container for up to 6 months in the refrigerator, too! The texture of this “cheese” is a lot like a grated romano cheese, and we always keep a jar of it on hand! It works well as a topping on pasta, popcorn, and salads. You name it. I love it on top of my potatoes au gratin and use it in my Cacio E Pepe.
Add all ingredients to a food processor and pulse ingredients into a fine meal texture. Store in an air-tight container for up to four months in the pantry, or six months in the refrigerator.
If you’ve been around me for a while, you know that I love Mexican food. It is hands down my greatest joy and my greatest weakness. We were in Colorado on vacation a few years ago, and we had Mexican food 9 out of 11 days! These enchiladas are an homage to my grandma, whose enchiladas were (next to her biscuits and gravy) my most favorite meal.
Grandma’s enchiladas were pretty basic—ground beef, diced onion, and tomato sauce with cheese. They were simple but divine. These are a little bit more complex but equally delicious. These are a staple in our house and one of my daughter’s favorite foods! I like to dice a little extra sweet onion and use it as a garnish and avocado, sour cream, and salsa. I’m getting hungry just thinking about them.
You can use a store-bought enchilada sauce if you’re in a hurry or don’t want to make it. But I have to warn you it will not be as good! I like to double it and then refrigerate the remainder. It’s good on tofu eggs, burritos, tacos, nachos, and of course, these enchiladas! I like the addition of the Impossible Meat because it reminds me of my Grandma’s recipe. You can easily skip it if you are avoiding plant-based meats. I would, however, add another can of beans. These enchiladas also freeze well. Just assemble them and then freeze. Enjoy!
If you make them, please tag me on Instagram and let me know how you like them!
3 tablespoons flour (I used brown rice flour for a GF sauce)
16 oz vegetable broth
1 (6oz) can tomato paste
3 Tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
3 Tbsp chili powder
1 Tbsp cumin
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp oregano
1 ½ tsp salt
½ tsp black pepper
pinch of cinnamon
1 lime juiced
Toppings:
Daiya Cheddar Cheese block, grated
Diced Avocado
Salsa
Vegan Sour Cream
Minced Cilantro
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350° F.
Ranchero Sauce:
In a small bowl, mix flour, chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, smoked paprika, oregano, salt & pepper, and cinnamon.
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, bring 1/2 cup vegetable stock to a boil. Slowly, add dry spice and constantly whisk until the mixture is smooth and fragrant for about one minute. Add tomato paste and stir well until combined. Slowly add broth and whisk until smooth. Add lime juice and cilantro. Stir to combine. Remove from heat and set aside.
Enchilada Filling:
Warm a large skillet over medium heat. When warm, add onion and sauté until translucent—about 7 minutes. (If the onions begin to stick, add 2 tablespoons of water and stir).
Add garlic and jalapeño and cook until fragrant, 1-2 minutes.
Add plant-based meat if using: Cook for about 5 minutes or until lightly browned.
Add black beans and stir well to incorporate.
Add canned tomatoes, spices, and add 1/2 cup of enchilada sauce. Stir well and cook for 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat.
Assembly:
Wrap tortillas in a wet cloth or paper towel. Put on a microwave-safe plate and warm in the microwave for one minute. Keep tortillas wrapped while assembling.
Add ranchero sauce to a pie pan or other deep bottomed plate.
Add one cup of ranchero sauce to the bottom of a 9 x 12 pan, coating the pan evenly.
Remove one tortilla and dip it in the ranchero sauce. Place tortilla in 9 x 12 pan.
Add about 1/4-1/3 cup of filling (depending on your shells’ size, you may want to add more or less).
Add 2 tablespoons of Daiya cheese.
Carefully roll the tortilla and place seam side down.
Repeat with remaining tortillas if you run out of space using another pan. I fit 8 to a pan (6 side by side and then two end to end at the bottom of the pan). I used a smaller 8×8 pan to fit the rest. I covered them with wrap and froze them for later.
When you have finished assembling the enchiladas, pour the rest of the ranchero sauce over them and sprinkle with shredded cheese.
Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes.
Carefully remove foil. Turn oven to broil and cook for 2 minutes or until cheese is bubbling. DO NOT WALK AWAY!
Remove from oven and serve with avocado, salsa, cilantro, and sour cream!
Enjoy!
Notes
*I like Daiya block style cheddar and grate it myself. I NEVER use pre-shredded vegan cheese because they add an anti-caking ingredient that simply ruins the taste of the cheese.
**I used Impossible Meat because it has a great texture and flavor. You can also use Gardein beef crumbles, or Hungry Planet beef. You can also skip the meat if you’re not a fan of meat substitutes, but you may want to add an additional can of beans. I would add a can of pinto beans with my black beans for variety.
These freeze well. When I know I’m going to use them I remove them from the freezer and refrigerate overnight. Always be careful putting a frozen, or super cold glass pan in the oven. They can break.
It’s nice to be back in the kitchen! I’ve been super busy the last couple of weeks and am excited to work on a few new recipes. Before I became a vegan, one of my favorite things to eat was fish at the local VFW hall on Fridays during the Lenten season. Though I’m not a Catholic, there are a few of their traditions that I really enjoyed! I tried using hearts of palm and other substitutes for fish. However, using banana blossoms has proved to be hands-down the best option! I like adding some ground seaweed to the beer batter, which gives it a nice fishy flavor. I also love the minty mushy peas as a side! And last, we cannot forget the chips! Large russet potatoes cut into thick batons and lightly fried make this girl happy! 😋
The Banana blossom, also known as a “banana heart,” is a fleshy, purple-skinned flower shaped like a tear that grows at the end of a banana fruit cluster. They are very flakey, making them a perfect substitute for fish. The family to which the banana belongs is called Musaceae, as banana blossom represents a valuable source of potassium, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, minerals, fatty acid content, flavonoids, saponin, essential and essential and non-essential amino acid, tannins, glycoside, and steroid. Banana flower is also a good antioxidant source.
A little bit of prep needs to be done ahead of time. So be sure to read through the whole recipe first. You can make the peas and tartar sauce as early as a day ahead. This is a perfect meat-free meal that even your fish-eating friends will love! Enjoy!
**UPDATE: For whatever reason, WordPress does not allow me to go back and edit recipes. The pea recipe was written for two cups of frozen peas.
There is some prep for this recipe. You will want to rinse the banana blossoms and get them in the freezer while you make the other ingredients. Make the peas and tartar sauce first. And then make potatoes and the fish last.
1 cup rice flour (used as pre-coat; can use regular flour if needed)
1 teaspoon kelp powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup beer (I used an IPA)
3/4 cup seltzer or sparkling water
1 teaspoon lemon juice
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
Malt vinegar, for serving
Potatoes:
4 russet potatoes, sliced each into 8 wedges
1/4 cup olive oil
3 teaspoons garlic powder)
2 teaspoon onion powder
2 teaspoons salt, (adjust to your tastes)
1/2 teaspoon black cracked pepper
2 tablespoons fresh chopped parsley (garnish)
Vegan Tartar Sauce:
¼ cup (58 g) vegan mayo
1 tbsp (10 g) minced cornichons (small pickles)
2 tsp (20 g) caper, roughly chopped
1 tsp (5 ml) white vinegar
½ tsp dijon
1 tsp (2 g) fresh dill, chopped
Pinch salt and pepper
Instructions
Tartar Sauce:
Mix all ingredients in a small bowl and refrigerate immediately.
Peas:
Bring 6 cups of generously salted water to a boil in a medium saucepan. Add the frozen peas and mint and cook for 4 minutes—Reserve 3 tablespoons of the hot cooking water. Drain the peas and mint and return to the pan. Immediately add butter, lemon zest, and cooking water—season with salt and pepper. Roughly mash the peas with a potato masher or food processor. Cover and set aside. You can use the peas in rough purée form, but if you want a very fine, smooth purée, push the mixture through a fine sieve. (I like to save about 1/4 cup of whole peas to add to puree).
Potatoes:
Preheat oven to 400°. Wash the potatoes (I did not peel mine) with cold water to remove some of the surface dirt and dry well. Slice potatoes in half lengthwise, slice each half in half again and then slice each half in half again. You should have a total of 8 slices per potato. Blanch the potatoes in hot (not boiling) water for 10-12 minutes to release their starches. You can skip this step, but your potatoes will not be as crisp.
Drain potatoes, shaking well to remove excess water. Lightly pat them dry and add potatoes to a medium-size bowl. Add olive oil and toss well. Combine spices in a small bowl and sprinkle over potatoes. Toss well to coat. Place potatoes cut side down on a parchment-lined baking sheet or in an *air fryer. (Depending on the size of your pan, you may have to use two baking sheets. If so, rotate pans when you pull them to flip the potatoes at the halfway baking point, about 30 minutes)
Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and, using a spatula, carefully flip the potatoes. Rotate pans if you used more than one.
Return to oven and bake for an additional 25-30 minutes. (You can reduce the oven to 200° and keep potatoes warm while fillets cook).
Sprinkle with parsley and serve hot.
Fish:
Heat oil in a dutch oven or wok to 345° F. Turn oven down to 200° F. Whisk together flour, baking soda, kelp powder, and 1 teaspoon salt. Pour in the beer, sparkling water, and lemon juice and mix just until combined (do not over-mix). Keep the batter refrigerated until ready to use.
Drain the banana blossoms, then shape them into filets. Wrap the blossoms in clean kitchen towels and squeeze out all of the brine.
Cover and place in the freezer for 1 hour.
Remove from the freezer and sprinkle the blossoms with salt and pepper. Coat the blossoms in rice flour and then dip into the batter to completely coat. Carefully swish the blossoms partway into the oil for a few seconds before completely releasing. Once the coating starts to set on the first fillet, you can add another battered fillet into the oil. Fry until the blossom is puffed, golden brown, and cooked through, 5 minutes for thin fillets or 7 minutes for thick fillets, and then transfer to a paper towel-lined plate. Cook the remaining fillets and sprinkle with salt.
To serve, reheat the mushy peas if necessary. Serve the fish with chips, mushy peas, and malt vinegar on the side.
Notes
*If using air fryer bake at 390°F for 12-15 minutes. You will have to do this in batches so whey they’ve cooked you will need to place them in a low (200°F oven) to keep warm.
I have an obsession with tacos, and my love for them is deep. Before I became a vegan, my absolute favorite taco was a simple Carne Asada taco with cilantro and white onion. A traditional Asada is made with flank steak. But alas, with those meat-eating days behind me, I’ve searched long and hard for a reasonable substitute. Enter the mighty portobello mushroom.
Mushrooms work great in this Asada because they love to soak up the flavor of a marinade. And flavor they shall have! My first version of this recipe used a whole chipotle pepper that I minced and added to the marinade. As a girl who likes her food spicy, I have to say the heat overshadows the mushrooms’ delicious umami flavor. So I cut back on the heat and kept it simple. This recipe goes down as one of my all-time favorite taco recipes using fresh cilantro leaves, freshly squeezed orange and lime juice, cumin, and chili powder.
If you don’t like cilantro, no worries, you can use epazote, another aromatic herb with notes of oregano, anise, citrus, and mint. You can find it at most Hispanic grocery stores or, of course, on Amazon! You can use a steak portobello mushrooms or I just used some sliced Cremini mushrooms that I already had. I will make these again when the weather warms up and throw some marinated portobellos on the grill! Enjoy!
Yummy Mushroom Asada tacos! I used a pineapple jalapeño salsa as a topper and it was divine!
Ingredients
Scale
16 oz sliced portobello mushroom caps, or cremini mushrooms, stemmed and cleaned
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves, or epazote
1/3 cup olive oil
1/4 cup Tamari, or liquid aminos
Juice of 1 orange
Juice of 1 lime
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Instructions
Marinade:
Whisk cilantro, orange juice, lime juice, aminos, olive oil, garlic, chili powder, cumin, oregano, salt, and pepper in a large bowl or shallow dish to combine.
Add the mushrooms and gently toss until they’re fully coated. Marinate in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes to an hour. (These can be made up to 24 hours ahead). Give the mushrooms a good toss every 10 to 15 minutes.
With a slotted spoon, remove mushrooms and reserve 1 cup of the marinade.
Heat a cast-iron or other large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. When the pan is heated, add olive oil. Once the oil is shimmering, place the mushrooms in an even layer and cook, making sure not to touch them until most of the moisture has cooked out of them, about 10 minutes.
While the mushrooms are sautéing, warm the tortillas on a comal or other small non-stick skillet on the stovetop. Once tortillas are warmed and slightly browned, cover with a paper towel and place on a baking sheet in a low oven, or use the “warm hold” feature on the microwave.
When most of the moisture has evaporated, add 1/2 cup of the marinade and stir. Continue to cook and repeat with remaining marinade, stirring often for another 5 to 10 minutes. The mushrooms should be caramelized and slightly crisped around the edges.
Serve on warm tortillas and top with salsa, cilantro.
This dish is a perfect accompaniment to my Ropa Vieja, or it’s an easy meal served by itself! I used canned beans to make it a quick weeknight meal-It can be ready in 25 minutes or less! But if you have the time you can slow cook your beans for an extra layer of flavor.
Black beans are legumes. Also known as turtle beans because of their formidable, shell-like appearance, black beans are, in fact, the edible seeds of the plant. Black beans are rich in carbohydrates, and they are also an excellent source of fiber (both soluble and insoluble). Black beans also do not contain sugar. So depending on how they’re cooked, they can have a low glycemic index. Black beans are also protein powerhouses, with 7 grams of protein in a 1/2 cup serving!
If you want a little heat feel free to add a jalapeño, or your favorite hot sauce! I like to serve this with a long grain white rice. Enjoy!
1 large green bell pepper, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 jalapeño, seeded and minced (optional)
4 large garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon dried oregano
2 15- to 16-ounce cans black beans, rinsed, drained
3/4 cup vegetable broth
1 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon salt
Long-grain rice, to serve
Instructions
Heat a heavy large saucepan over medium heat.
When the pan is sufficiently heated, add oil. When oil begins to shimmer, add onion, bell pepper, jalapeño, if using, and oregano and sauté until vegetables start to soften about 5 minutes.
Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Add 1 cup of beans to the pan. Using the back of a fork, mash beans coarsely.
Add remaining beans, broth, and vinegar and simmer until mixture thickens and flavors blend, stirring occasionally about 15 minutes.
I’ve always been fascinated with Cuba. Perhaps it remains a romantically forbidden destination, or maybe because Hemingway wrote two of my favorite novels there. Or, perhaps it’s the food. Enter the Ropa Vieja.
Considered Cuba’s national dish, its name translates to ‘old clothes,’ and the story goes that a destitute old man once shredded and cooked his clothes because he could not afford food for his family. He prayed over the bubbling concoction, and a miracle occurred, turning the mixture into a tasty, rich meat stew. Generally made with flank steak, this vegan version uses the ever-versatile Jackfruit. For our Ropa Vieja recipe, we’re adding other classic Cuban and Spanish ingredients, such as olives and pimentos.
Ropa Vieja only tastes better the next day as the flavors have more time to meld, so this is a perfect dish to make in large batches for leftovers! I like to serve it over Cuban black beans and cilantro rice. If you can find them, fried plantains called Maduro’s also make an excellent accompaniment!
Place a rack in lower third of oven; preheat to 250°.
Drain jackfruit and dry with a towel.
Mix bouillon cube with 1/2 cup of hot water.
Heat oil in a large heatproof pot over high.
Cook jackfruit, turning occasionally, until browned on all sides, 5–7 minutes. Add bouillon mixture to pan and scrape and bits of jackfruit stuck to the bottom of a pan. Stir in 2 tablespoons of tomato paste. Mix well. Cook for 2-3 minutes. Transfer to a mixing bowl.
In the same pan add remaining tablespoon of oil and cook onion, bell peppers. Add salt, stirring occasionally, until softened and beginning to brown, 12–14 minutes. Add garlic and cook, stirring frequently and scraping bottom of pan, until vegetables are golden brown, 3–5 minutes.
Stir in wine and cook, stirring occasionally, until evaporated.
Stir in paprika, oregano, cumin, black pepper, and cayenne until vegetables are coated; continue to cook, stirring, until spices are fragrant, about 1 minute.
Add tomatoes and coarsely break up with a spoon (they’ll continue to break down as they cook). Bring to a boil and cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid is reduced by half, about 5 minutes.
Add jackfruit back into vegetable mixture with bay leaf.
Cover and transfer to oven. Braise until jackfruit and vegetables are very tender about 30 minutes. Let cool 15 minutes.
Discard bay leaves. Using a potato masher or 2 forks, tear and smash jackfruit into sauce until it’s shredded and incorporated into sauce.
Stir in olives and vinegar.
Divide Ropa Vieja among plates. Top with cilantro. Serve with avocado, Maduros, and Cuban black beans and rice, alongside.
I have a potato obsession. But my favorite potato is the mighty sweet potato. Unlike a regular potato, a nightshade family member, the sweet potato is a large edible root within the morning glory family. And sweet potatoes come in many colors too!
While potatoes with orange flesh are the richest in beta-carotene. Sweet potatoes with purple flesh are richer in anthocyanins. Beta-carotene and anthocyanins are naturally occurring plant “Phyto” chemicals that give vegetables their bright colors. Phytochemicals are biologically active compounds found in plants and are known to:
Aid the function of the immune system.
Protect cells and DNA from damage that may lead to cancer.
Reduce inflammation.
Slow the growth rate of some cancer cells.
Help regulate hormones.
Why use a purple potato? Because anthocyanins have the capacity to lower blood pressure, improve visual acuity, reduce cancer cell proliferation, inhibit tumor formation, prevent diabetes, and lower the risk of CVD, which modulates cognitive and motor function.
This pretty warm winter soup was inspired by another anthocyanin…the açaí bowl!. It’s super healthy comes together very quickly. You can easily make this a “no-oil” soup by steaming your vegetables instead of roasting them.
If you choose to use oil, be sure to keep the temperature well below the oil’s smoke point or the point at which the oil starts to burn (that’s about 410 degrees for extra virgin or unrefined olive oil). Because overheating oil breaks down the nutritional composition of the oil changes the flavor, and releases harmful free radicals.
I added a delicious beet puree to this soup, but you can add whatever you want. Good choices might be pieces of roasted cauliflower, pumpkins seeds, hemp seeds, or soy cream.
Ingredients
Scale
3 large purple sweet potatoes, peeled and medium diced
1 large head of organic cauliflower, chopped into medium florets
2 large leeks, white part only, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, mined
2 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried tarragon
2 tablespoons fresh tarragon
1 (32 oz) container organic vegetable stock
salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
Preheat oven to 400°.
Add chopped potatoes and cauliflower to a mixing bowl and toss with 1 tablespoon of olive oil.
Add spices to a small bowl and mix well.
Spread vegetables evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Sprinkle the spice mix over vegetables. Place baking sheet in the oven, and roast vegetable for 30 minutes, turning vegetables at the half-way mark.
When vegetables are done, remove from oven and let cool.
Warm a dutch oven over medium heat. When the pan is heated, add oil. When oil begins to shimmer, add the leeks and saute until leeks have softened and are slightly brown.
Add garlic and sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds to a minute.
Add cooled vegetables and vegetable stock to a dutch oven, and stir.
When the soup is warmed, use an immersion blender, or carefully ladle half of the soup mixture into a blender. (If using a high-speed blender, be careful to hold the lid, as the heat can build pressure and the lid can fly off). Continue until all the soup is blended to the consistency you prefer. **I blended the first batch until entirely smooth. For the second batch, I blended it to have some texture and then mixed the two.
Return to dutch oven and taste for seasoning.
Serve warm and top with fresh tarragon, roasted cauliflower, hemp seeds, pumpkins seeds (pepita’s), or beet puree.
Notes
**While blending the soup, I placed the first pureed batch into a large mixing bowl.
When I first became plant-based I came across a simple chickpea salad recipe from the fine folks at Forks Over Knives. It’s hands down the best chickpea “tuna” salad I’ve found, and I haven’t changed a thing about their recipe—except for how I serve it. I love turning it into a beautiful stack inspired by a tartare!
If you’re not familiar, a tartare is traditionally a dish of finely chopped raw meat or fish, seasoned and served cold—like steak tartare or tuna tartare. But the term has evolved to describe any finely diced, well-seasoned mixture presented in a neat, layered stack, including plant-based versions.
I use food rings to shape my stacks, but you can use any round container, like a ½-cup or 1-cup dry measuring cup. Just one quick tip: if your container has a bottom, you’ll need to assemble your stack in reverse. For example, if you want the tomatoes on top when you unmold it, add them first.
For this stack, I small-diced tomatoes and red onions (uniform size is the key to a pretty presentation) and cubed avocado, tossing it in lemon juice with a pinch of salt. I also added cilantro to the tomatoes and finished the stack with radish microgreens. And as always, I double my batches of the salad—it’s just that good! Enjoy!
Place the chickpeas in a mixing bowl and mash with a fork, leaving only a few beans whole. For this, I use my food chopper from Pampered Chef.
Add tahini, mustard, maple syrup, red onion, celery, pickle, capers, salt and pepper, and sunflower seeds (if using) to the mixing bowl. Mix to incorporate. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.
*Stacks: (see note)
In a small bowl, add tomatoes, red onion, 1/2 lemon/lime juice, 1/2 the salt, and cilantro. Mix well.
In another bowl, add avocados, the other 1/2 of the lemon/lime juice, and 1/2 the salt. Mix well.
If using a food ring, fill ring 1/3 full with avocado, repeat the next two layers using chickpeas, and tomatoes. Press firmly and remove the ring. Top with microgreens and cilantro.
If using a round mold with a bottom–trace and cut a piece of parchment or waxed paper to fit inside the mold. Add tomatoes, chickpea salad, and finish with avocados. Press firmly, but not too hard. Carefully use a knife to score the edges of the stack and flip mold. Remove parchment paper. Reassemble any pieces that have fallen away. There may be a few, no worries! Top with microgreens and cilantro.
Enjoy!
Notes
*This is for one stack.
You can freeze what you don’t use, otherwise, l keep it covered in refrigerator for 4-5 days.
I love tacos. I could eat them every day, and in every way you could imagine—cauliflower tacos, jackfruit tacos, portobello tacos, black bean tacos, refried bean tacos…you feelin’ me? But my favorite may be these Raw Walnut Tacos. They are super easy to make and super healthy. They are also great because you probably already have everything you need to make them. If you don’t have walnuts or want to be nut-free, don’t worry. You can also use sunflower seeds. I like to use this taco meat for my Hot Tamale Pie as well!
The cashew queso is also a favorite. It’s a concentrate, so you can take 1/4 cup of the cheese sauce, add 1 cup of water, and voila! Heat it in 30-second increments, and this recipe will make a total of 4 cups of cheese sauce!
Soak sun-dried tomatoes in warm water for 15 minutes, then drain.
Taco Meat:
2 cups raw walnuts
1/2 cup dry packed sun-dried tomatoes, soaked, then minced
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon tamari, or liquid aminos
Cashew Queso:
1 1/2 cups raw unsalted cashews
8 oz. water
1 chipotle chili in adobo
3 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon sea salt
Tacos:
Collard greens, washed** (see note)
Avocados, quartered lengthwise, pit removed, skins removed, and thinly sliced
Tomatoes, small diced
Onion, minced
Jalapeños, sliced (optional)
Instructions
Taco Meat:
In a food processor, add walnuts, garlic, and spices. Pulse until walnuts have broken down into small pieces, careful not to over process.
Add tamari and lemon juice, and soaked sun-dried tomatoes. Pulse until combined.
Taste for seasoning.
Cashew Queso:
Add cashews* and all other ingredients to blender and blend on high speed until the nuts are completely broken down, about 2 minutes.
Tacos:
Wash collard green leaves cut off the large stems at the base. Carefully use a knife to thinly shave the stem at the base.
Layer taco meat on top of collard, add avocados, onions, tomatoes, jalapeños, if using, and cashew queso.
Give each taco a squeeze of lime juice.
Enjoy!
Notes
*If you do not have a high-speed blender like a Vitamix, be sure to either boil the cashews for about 10 minutes and drain, or soak cashews for at least 6-8 hours, preferably over night.
I love cold weather. I love snow. And I love hot cocoa. Since it’s cold and it snowed, the only thing missing was this recipe! There isn’t much to say other than you probably have all the ingredients on hand to make it! I like this brand of cocoa powder and this brand of oat milk.
You can double or triple the batch and easily warm up for more later! ENJOY!!! You can also add the whipped cream to a piping bag, swirl it over the cocoa and top with cinnamon, or cocoa powder! Also this whipped cream is light and fluffy and stays creamy for days in the fridge or months in the freezer as a vegan cool whip. Just take it out of the freezer and let it warm up for about 10 minutes before using.
I love naan! It’s the first thing I think about when I know I’m getting indian food. It’s the Indian equivalent to Mexican chips. Naan is a leavened, oven-baked flatbread found in the cuisines mainly of Western Asia, South Asia, Indonesia, Myanmar and the Caribbean. And if you have a pizza oven you’ll love this recipe!
When you may look at the directions, you may think that it’s not very easy, but trust me, as a girl who is nothing close to being a baker, even I can do it. There are several essential things to note, however. The first is to pay attention to the kind of yeast you’re using. If using active dry yeast and instant (or rapid-rise) yeast, you can use them interchangeably in recipes, but active dry yeast needs to be dissolved in water before using, while you can mix instant yeast right into the dough. Also, instant yeast doesn’t have to be proofed first.
“Proofed” means sitting in a warm, happy place, allowing the dough to rise. Instant yeast may also be marketed and sold as rapid- or quick-rise yeast. Enzymes and other additives are included to make the dough rise faster. With this yeast, you can skip the dough’s first rise and shape the loaves right after kneading. “Active” describes any dry yeast that needs to be activated before use, hence the warm water. You can use either. I used the active dry because it’s what I have on hand.
The other thing to note is the pan you use. You can use a regular cast iron pan, or if you’re like me, and make your tortillas, you will want to use a comal. The comal is a Mexican style grill or griddle, and unlike a regular cast iron pan, it is thin. It heats up efficiently and retains the heat, making it a favorable tool for recipes that require high, stable heat. Hence, the perfect pan for naan!
1/2 cup warm water or vegan milk (not hot or it will kill the yeast)
1 1/2 teaspoons dry active yeast
1 teaspoon organic vegan cane sugar
2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon sea salt
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup plain dairy-free yogurt or coconut cream
2 tablespoons olive oil
Cilantro, minced
Instructions
Measure warm water or milk, add yeast and sugar. Stir and set aside until foamy (about 10 minutes.)
Meanwhile, add flour, salt, and baking powder to a large mixing bowl and whisk to combine.
Once the yeast mixture is foaming, add the vegan yogurt or cream and oil, and stir to combine. Add to dry ingredients. I used a wooden spoon to stir – the dough will be sticky.
Turn onto a floured surface (I used my countertop) and knead just enough flour to the dough to form into a loose ball (about 2-3 minutes). Add a bit more flour if too sticky. Alternatively, you can use a stand mixer with a dough hook.
Place back in mixing bowl and rub with a bit of oil, turn to coat.
Cover with a damp towel or plastic wrap and set in a warm place for at least 2 hours (I put mine in the oven since my oven has a proof feature which sets the range to 100°.) You can also heat your oven to its lowest setting, turn off the heat, and put the bowl in the cooling oven.
Remove dough from bowl and turn onto a floured surface. Knead for 30 seconds (adding additional flour if sticky). Then divide into eight even pieces using a knife or pastry cutter.
Lightly knead each ball until it forms a loose ball and place it on parchment paper. Repeat until each piece of dough is formed into a ball. Cover with a towel and let rest for 10 minutes.
Prep cilantro and/or other fresh herbs such as rosemary or thyme.
When the dough has rested, begin heating a cast-iron pan (I used a comal) over medium heat.
Roll out into an oval or circle with a rolling pin. Carefully flip dough and pat with a bit of water to prevent sticking to the pan. Press the garlic and herbs/cilantro into the dough until it sticks. Then place the wet-side down on the hot pan.
Cook until the edges of the dough look dry and it’s beginning to bubble. Then flip the dough with a spatula and cook until the underside is brown.
Repeat until all naan is cooked.
Brush each flatbread with vegan butter; top with sesame seeds, minced garlic, or fresh herbs.
A few years ago, I taught a vegan Indian food class, and it sold out within a few days. Everyone loved the rich, spicy flavors of India, and this dish will not disappoint! You can make it quickly, and it perfect for these cold winter days!
Aloo Gobi is a simple dish made from cauliflower and potatoes originating in the North Indian Punjab region. (“Aloo” is Urdu for potato, while “gobi” means cauliflower). There are generally two kinds of Aloo Gobi, one made with onions and tomatoes, and one without. I love both, but this one is my favorite.
I loved using Asafetida in this dish because it makes Indian food taste, well, Indian! You can find it in most Indian or international grocery stores for around $4.00. When used properly, a pinch of asafetida supercharges every other spice in the pan, like salt but in a funkier way (and without any sodium).
This is a quick and easy weeknight meal that can easily be re-heated for lunch the next day! Although it is a stand alone dish, I love it served over curried lentils! I like to serve this dish with my easy garlic Naan, cilantro, and vegan yogurt!
Easy and delicious, this Aloo Gobi makes a perfect weeknight meal!
Ingredients
Scale
2 medium russet potatoes, cut into 1” cubes
1 medium head of cauliflower, cut into small florets
1 medium onion, very finely chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds, toasted
1 tablespoon ginger, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon ground coriander
¾ teaspoon garam masala
¾ teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves
Pinch of asafetida (optional, but recommended)
Pinch of cayenne (adjust according to preference)
1 teaspoon salt, plus more for seasoning finished dish
1–2 tablespoon fresh lime juice
½ cup chopped cilantro leaves, chopped
Unsweetened vegan yogurt
Instructions
Heat 2 tablespoons (or a solid glug) of oil in a large skillet or frying pan over medium-high heat. Add cumin seeds and fry until golden brown and beginning to pop. Reduce to medium heat and stir in onion. Cook until lightly browned.
Add the garlic and ginger and sauté for 1 minute until fragrant. Add the garam masala, coriander, chili powder, fenugreek leaves, turmeric, and cayenne, and asafetida, and stir to combine.
Add potatoes and cauliflower to pan, and toss to coat.
Spread mixture in a large stoneware or 3” ceramic baking dish.
Bake at 400° F (204 C) for 20 mins, then cover with parchment and bake for another 15 mins or until tender. Taste and adjust salt and spices accordingly. Garnish with fresh cilantro, lime juice, and unsweetened vegan yogurt.
Serve over lentils or rice.
Notes
*Be sure to dice your vegetables evenly, so they cook evenly.
President’s Day weekend, I’m doing a 12.3-mile hike of Taum Sauk Peak in the St. Francois Mountains. It’s a small section of the larger 400 mile Ozark Trail. It’s also the highest peak in the state, coming in at just under 1,800 feet. It’s not the Rockies, but hey, a girl has to start somewhere! Anyway, my go-to pre-hike breakfast is always a hearty bowl of oatmeal. It’s filling and gives me a steady supply of energy, especially on the long hikes. As with most recipes, I always imagine how I can make them better. Hence, the Cherry Berry Baked Oatmeal, hearty enough to eat with a fork, it can be modified in an infinite number of ways. It’s great because I can wrap it in foil and eat it in the car. I like to top it with flaked coconut, a little drizzle of warmed maple syrup, and a dash of cinnamon!
Many baked oatmeal recipes use eggs, which are used for two things- adding protein and binding all of the ingredients together. Some recipes also use applesauce or mashed banana, which are great for reducing the calories. Unfortunately, they also have reduced binding capacity. For this recipe, I opted to use the often overlooked, great at hiding in the background chia seed! Chia not only adds protein with minimal calories, but they are also an excellent binder. They’re loaded with antioxidants and omega-three fatty-acids! I added baking powder to lift this otherwise dense and sometimes hard to swallow dish! Trust me, my ability to speak has been rendered useless by oatmeal on more than one occasion! Insert wink emoji.
You can make this a year-round treat by adding other seasonal stone fruits, like apricots and plums! You can make it on Sunday and enjoy it for the rest of the week! It’s also a nice change-up for me from my typical fruit and vegetable smoothie. The truth is, subconsciously it’s my desire to make my house smell like cinnamon and baked fruit. Enjoy!
Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C, or gas mark 4). Mix the water and chia seeds in a liquid (glass) measuring cup and set aside.
Place the oats, nuts, and 1 ½ cups of the cherry/berries in a medium mixing bowl.
In a small saucepan, bring 2/3 cup brown sugar, banana, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt to a simmer over medium heat. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until the coconut oil has melted and ingredients are well combined. Remove from heat. Add chia mixture and milk, stir until incorporated.
Add wet ingredients to dry oat mixture and stir until combined. Pour the mixture into a 9-inch round or square baking dish. Bake for 45 minutes, until oats are slightly golden.
When oats are done, remove from oven and let cool, about 20 minutes. The oatmeal should be a little soft when you remove it and will firm up as it cools.
Meanwhile, while oats are cooling, add the remaining 1 ½ cups cherry/berries and 1/3 cup brown sugar to a medium saucepan. Over medium-low heat, simmer berries and brown sugar with a pinch of sea salt until berries break down and become syrupy, about 7-10 minutes.
Serve hot berries over cooled oats and add additional toppings such as whipped cream, coconut yogurt, coconut flakes, and pecans, if desired. Enjoy!
Notes
This oatmeal keeps well in the refrigerator for up to 5 days.
This mixture can be stripped down into a no-bake, and made hike-thru friendly by subbing protein powder for milk and using dried fruit. Also, skip the coconut oil and baking powder.
My friend Carla asked me for this recipe the other day. I had made this soup for a cooking class once, and she loved it! However, the recipe has taken a few twists and turns since the class. Each time I make it, I think to myself, “It’s close, but no cigar.” I finally realized what was missing when I added a small jalapeño to the mix of roasted veggies!
The soup is delicious, either hot or cold, and can be served as a winter warmer or cold as an early spring delight! Either way, you can’t go wrong. The other best part? It takes less than 30 minutes to make! You can leave the jalapeño if you like a little heat or remove it if you don’t. Here you go Carla!
1 cupcashew cream (can also use plant-based milk, just won’t be as creamy)
4 cups vegetable broth (DIY or store-bought)
1–2 Tbsp nutritional yeast (optional // for a slightly cheesy flavor)
1/2 medium lemon (optional // juiced // for brightness)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 400°.
Prepare a parchment-lined baking sheet.
In a medium bowl, add trimmed asparagus, quartered onion, garlic cloves, tarragon, and jalapeño. Toss with avocado oil.
Add all ingredients to the baking sheet. *See Note
Bake for 10 minutes, remove from oven, turn vegetables. Return to oven and bake for an additional 10 minutes.
When vegetables are done, reserve 8 asparagus tips. Then and add remaining ingredients to a blender with the peas and half of the vegetable stock. Be sure to hold the blender lid when blending as the heat and pressure can build, and the top will fly off. (It’s happened). When mixed well, add purée to a dutch oven over medium heat. Then add remaining stock, nutritional yeast, salt, pepper, and cashew cream. Simmer until warmed through. Finish soup with lemon juice. Taste for seasonings.
Serve with croutons and asparagus tips.
Notes
*I like to stack my tarragon and garlic pieces on top of the asparagus to keep them from having direct contact with pan. It helps to prevent them from burning.
This bowl is easy and delicious! And as with most bowls, You can make it in a variety of ways. I loved the tofu in this one and made a little extra to nosh on later! This recipe is an adaptation of a New York Times recipe, and the only thing I swapped was the honey for the agave nectar. I know some vegans who still eat honey, but I prefer to leave my bee friends alone! I also cut the oil by 2/3, mixed the sriracha and honey to make a glaze, and then tossed in the tofu.
This flavor bomb that can be ready in under 20 minutes! Great for a quick and hearty meal! Enjoy!
1(14-ounce) package extra-firm tofu, drained and cut into 3/4-inch cubes
2 tablespoons Agave nectar, or maple syrup, for serving
Instructions
In a small saucepan, combine the quinoa with 3/4 cup water. Bring to a boil over high heat, then cover and cook over medium-low until the water is absorbed, 10 to 12 minutes. Turn off the heat and let sit for 10 minutes. Fluff it with a fork.
Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk together the vinegar, miso, mirin, sesame oil, 2 tablespoons grapeseed oil and 1/2 teaspoon sriracha. Stir in the ginger.
Add the kale, massage it with the dressing and set aside to marinate. Spoon the cooked quinoa onto the kale and toss to coat.
In a nonstick skillet, heat the remaining 2 tablespoons grapeseed oil over medium. When the oil shimmers, cook the tofu, turning occasionally, until crisp on all sides, about 15 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate to absorb any excess oil.
In a medium-size bowl, mix 2 tablespoons of agave nectar and 1 tablespoon of sriracha together until combine. Add tofu and coat well.
My dog Milo loves his treats! Although he eats pretty much anything and everything, so I guess that’s not saying much! Well, while he may not care what he eats, I do. Have you ever looked at the ingredients on a bag of treats? Yikes! I bought a bag of peanut butter banana treats, thinking they were vegan, and I got home and realized there were things like maltodextrin, gelatin, caramel coloring, and even eggs. Eggs! I never even thought about eggs in a dog treat.
The good thing is there are only three ingredients. They’re easy to make and will save you a lot of dough (all puns intended)! Seriously a bag of dog treats was $12.99. I made these with ingredients I already had at home! You can make them with either bananas or pumpkin puree. I made both. You could even use apple sauce but would have to adjust your flour a bit. They will keep for up to two weeks in the refrigerator.
2 cups oat flour (you can also grind old fashioned oats into a fine powder)
3/4 cup natural peanut butter
2 ripe bananas (you can also use 1/2 cup pumpkin puree)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350°.
Line baking sheet with parchment paper or Silpat.
Mix ingredients in a bowl until a dough forms. (I used my hands) If the ingredients seem too dry, you can add more peanut butter one tablespoon at a time. If too wet, add more oat flour.
Cover bowl and refrigerate dough for 30 minutes.
Remove from refrigerator and roll mixture into 1/2″ thick rectangle.
Use a cookie cutter and cut dough into shapes. I used these.
Bake for 13-15 minutes, or until dough is brown around the edges.
Remove from oven and let cool completely. They will firm up when they cool.
Refrigerate and store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.
Notes
You can double the recipe and freeze half of the treats. They will keep in the the freezer for up to 3 months.
This year I have taken up trail running and long-distance hiking. I’ve been a distance runner for nearly 20 years, but my passion for the pavement has been waning. Recently, however, I ran a challenging half-marathon through the woods, and I’m hooked! I love being amongst the trees, enjoying the challenge of climbing rough terrain, and being completely present while I run or hike. But I am burning through the calories and often find myself losing steam around miles six or seven. Hence, the trail mix bar! It’s a significant energy boost, and these bad boys are DELICIOUS!
The nice thing about these bars is that you can make them any way you want to. I created MY perfect version, and everyone else loves them too! But feel free to get creative and make them with any nut butter, seed, or grain you choose! My husband loves raisins, but I do not, so I made him a batch of his own. One thing I would recommend keeping in the recipe is the coconut nectar. I chose coconut nectar because it has a low glycemic index and is minimally processed. They obtain the nectar directly from the tree; since it’s not boiled, it doesn’t convert into fructose. It’s also loaded with iron and zinc and contains 17 amino acids and antioxidants!
I keep them refrigerated, but you don’t need to. Just store them in an airtight container in a cool, dry place, and they should be good for up to a week!
Line the bottom of a 9×12″ baking dish with parchment paper. Be sure to have some extra hanging over the sides, making it easier to remove from the pan.
In a food processor, add the almonds and cashews. Pulse until lightly chopped, and there are only a few if any large pieces are remaining. This step is essential. If you skip it your bars will not stick together.
Pour mixture into a large bowl and stir in sunflower seeds, oats, flax, puffed cereal, flaked coconut, and chocolate chips. Stir until combined. Set mixture aside.
In a medium sauce pan, or microwave, add peanut butter, coconut oil, and coconut nectar. Melt and stir to combine. Allow mixture to cool for 2-3 minutes and then add to dry nut/oat mixture. Stir well to combine.
Add peanut butter mix to dry nut/oat mix and stir well to combine.
Spoon mixture onto prepared pan and use a spatula to smooth. Be sure to press mixture down firmly into the pan. You want it to be very compact.
Place bars into the refrigerator to chill for at least 2-3 hours, but preferably overnight.
When ready, cut bars into rectangles. Store in an air-tight container for up to a week at room temperature or two weeks in the refrigerator.
Notes
**Can also be frozen. Layer cut bars in between layers of parchment paper and place in a freezer bag. Freeze for up to 12 weeks. Thaw at room temperature.
Years ago, before a Cardinal baseball game, I visited a fantastic restaurant in St. Louis called “Pieces.” They have hundreds of board games and tons of great vegan food options. After perusing their superb vegan menu, I settled on their Midwest Poke Bowl. The taste was so delicious and complex but not complicated! I was blown away by how well the simple combination of flavors came together. Anyway, a few days ago, the Post Dispatch had a Poke bowl on the cover of their “Let’s Eat” section, and it brought back the memory of the delicious bowl I had eaten at Pieces. It seemed like the perfect time to make my own.
If you don’t know, Poke, pronounced “POH-keh,” is a two-syllable word that means “cut into chunks” in Hawaiian. The compressed watermelon replaces the traditional raw chunks of ahi tuna or octopus and is marinated and compressed in a delicious ginger sesame soy sauce. I used my vacuum sealer to compress the marinade into the watermelon. Why compress it? Because flavor, flavor, flavor is the key to this recipe! Compressing any porous food concentrates its flavor and adds a depth and dimension you wouldn’t get otherwise. If you don’t have a vacuum sealer or sous vide machine, you can use this method for compressing.
While some recipes use regular rice, I used seasoned sushi rice with wakame or seaweed. I topped the edamame with aTogarashi spice mix of seaweed, orange zest, ginger, sesame seeds, and chili powder. The recipe is finished with sriracha aioli and black sesame seeds. It’s soooo yummy and healthy! One last thing! Make your watermelon and aioli ahead of time, as they need time to sit and get happy!
1 tbsp wakame, or kombu (this is optional, but definitely builds the flavor profile)
1/3 cup seasoned rice vinegar
2 Tbsp vegan sugar
1 tsp fine grain sea salt
Sriracha Aioli:
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
1–2 Tbsp sriracha (depending on heat preference)
1 Tbsp lime juice
1 clove garlic, minced
salt to taste
Bowl:
1 ripe avocado, peeled and sliced lengthwise into 1/8” slices
1 red onion, minced
1 cucumber, thinly sliced lengthwise, (I used a mandolin set a 1/8″)
1 carrot, julienned (or, you can buy carrots pre-shredded)
1 cup red cabbage, shredded
10 oz bag edamame, cooked according to package directions
2 Tbsp Togarashi spice mix for edamame, (or, 2 tsp red chili flakes)
French fried onions (optional)
Black sesame seeds
Lime, sliced into 6 wedges
Instructions
d all ingredients except the oils to a blender and blend on high speed until mixed well. Turn blender down to low speed and slowly add the oils until combined.
Add watermelon to a vacuum bag and compress using a vacuum sealer, sous vide machine or the ziplock method. Compress watermelon and seal the bag. Refrigerate overnight or for a minimum of 4-6 hours.
Sushi Rice:
Rinse rice very well under cold water, until water runs clear, about 2 minutes. This step is essential. Shake until almost dry.
Cook rice according to package directions. I used my Instant Pot to cook the rice, and it works well.
Add wakame to rice and water before cooking. Again, this is optional but highly recommended.
While rice is cooking, add rice vinegar, sugar, and sea salt to a small saucepan and cook on medium-high heat until the mix reaches a soft boil and sugar and salt have fully dissolved. (You can also microwave).
When rice is done cooking, spread evenly onto a baking sheet and let cool—drizzle rice with sushi vinegar.
Sriracha Aioli:
Combine all ingredients in a measuring cup and refrigerate until ready to use.
Bowl:
When ready to assemble, remove watermelon from the bag and reserve liquid.
Add rice to a bowl and divide watermelon accordingly.
Add spice mix to cooked edamame.
Divide avocado, onion, edamame, cabbage, carrots, and cucumber between bowls and drizzle with reserved liquid and aioli.
Top with black sesame seeds, french fried onions, lime wedge, and scallions.
Gnocchi is an Italian pasta made from potatoes. I love gnocchi, it’s so yummy, and there are some delicious freshly pre-made packages out there! Be sure to check, though, because some varieties do contain eggs. There are so many ways you can make it, too. In the spring, I love making it with fresh basil pesto and toasted pine nuts!
This savory mushroom and spinach version is simmered in a rich and creamy Cashew Béchamel! It is a perfect weeknight meal taking only 20 minutes and a handful of ingredients! Yup! Folks will think you spent all afternoon on it! I won’t tell if you won’t! 😉 I will be working on a simple, from-scratch sweet potato gnocchi in the next week, so stay tuned!
1 teaspoon each dried parsley, sage, thyme, and rosemary
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 1/2 cups hot water
1 cup raw unsalted cashews
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black ground pepper
Instructions
Add cashews to a sauce pan and boil for 10 minutes. Drain and set aside.
While cashews are boiling, clean mushrooms and cut into 1/2 slices.
Peel and slice onion in half widthwise, and then Julienne.
Peel garlic clove, crush with the back of a knife and mince.
Warm skillet over medium heat. When warm, add oil. When the oil has warmed to a shimmer, add onion and garlic. Sauté over medium heat until onions begin to soften, about 5 minutes. Add mushrooms. Sauté for 2-3 minutes. Add sage, parsley, thyme, and rosemary. Sauté until mushrooms have softened and onions are translucent. Add spinach and cook until spinach has wilted. Season with salt and pepper. Set aside.
In a medium saucepan, add gnocchi to boiling water and cook until gnocchi begins to float, about 3-5 minutes.
While the gnocchi is cooking, add cooked cashews to a blender with 1 1/4 cup water. Add garlic powder and salt. Blend until smooth.
When gnocchi is done, drain water and add to onion/mushroom mixture, add cashew béchamel sauce. Simmer over medium heat until sauce begins to thicken. Taste for seasoning.
I’ve been on a French food kick lately. To me, the rich, flavorful, savory cuisine exists in a completely separate dimension in the food world. Every night for a week, I made a different dish, a Mushroom Bourguignon, a Ratatouille, and a Leak and White Bean Cassoulet. My final dish was this delicious Potato Galette.
Originating in Norman times – when it was known as a gale – the term galette simply refers to a ‘flat cake’ filled with either sweet or savory thinly sliced ingredients. However, depending on what part of France you’re in, it can mean something totally different. In Brittany, a galette saucisse is basically a crepe. The galette de rois, is a cake made for Epiphany, or the end of the Christmas season, and is made of two circles of puff pastry sandwiching a frangipane (almond-flavoured sweet pastry cream ) filling. Each comes with a crown and always has a trinket, called a fève, or bean, baked into it. This galette Bretton is essentially a pie made without a pan and uses fines herbs (pronounced feen), a mainstay of French cuisine, a blend of tarragon, chives, chervil, and parsley.
This savory galette is a perfect meal for a cold winter’s day!
Ingredients
Scale
Pate Brisee:
2 1/2 cups Organic All-Purpose Flour (To make gluten-free use Bob’s Gluten All-Purpose Free Flour add ¼ tsp xanthan gum for every cup of flour used)
1 teaspoon pink Himalayan salt
1 teaspoon Sugar
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks or 3/4 cup) vegan butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
6 to 8 tablespoons of ice cold water*
Filling:
2 cups thinly sliced sweet onions
10 ounces Russet potatoes, scrubbed and cubed in 1/2 inch pieces (about 2 medium potatoes)
2 medium leeks (white and light green parts, cut into half-moons and rinsed well)
8 ounces cremini mushrooms (wiped clean and quartered)
1 cup vegetable broth (roughly)
4 Tablespoons Fines Herbs
Pepper, as desired
2 cups cashew cream
4 Tablespoons Nutritional Yeast
1/2 cup Bob’s Red Mill Chickpea (Garbanzo Bean) Flour
Instructions
Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone mat and preheat the oven to 400°F.
Pate Brisee:
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, salt, and sugar together. Cut in the butter using a fork, kitchen sheers, or pastry blender until it is grainy and reaches the consistency of sand. Add the ice cold water, starting with 5 Tbsp, and mix it with your hands until uniform. The dough should be moist but not soggy. Add remaining water 1 tablespoon at a time if still crumbly. Form the dough into ball and divide in half. Cover the bowl, and place it in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes.
To make the galette: Heat one tablespoon of the olive oil in a medium pan (I used a 10-inch cast-iron skillet) over medium heat. Add the potatoes and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned on all sides-about 5-7 minutes. Remove to a bowl.
In a the same pan, add in about 1/2 c of vegetable broth. Once heated, add the sliced onions, mushrooms and thyme and cook down, stirring occasionally, for about 15-20 minutes. You will need to add more vegetable broth (1-2 tablespoons at a time) as time passes to prevent burning, but they KEY to perfect caramelization without oil is to only add more broth and once all of the previously added liquid has completely cooked off. Once onions are done, add potatoes and garbanzo bean flour, and cook for one minute. Making sure to mix well. Add in cashew cream and mix until combined.
Once the dough has chilled, roll each dough out into a rough circle, about 1/3” thick. Transfer it to the lined baking sheet.
Divide mushroom/potato mixture over each pastry, leaving about 1” around the edges of the pastry. Sprinkle with more fines herbs and pepper as desired. Fold in the galette crust. Pleat about every 3 inches. I used 2 tablespoons of *aquafaba mixed with 1 tablespoon of maple syrup to brush the crust.
Bake for 35-40 minutes or until the pastry is crispy and golden brown. Cool for at least 10 minutes before serving.
Notes
*Be sure the water is ice cold so that the butter does not melt while mixing.
*Aquafaba is the viscous water that comes from a can of legumes such as chickpeas.
The holidays are a great way to showcase your artistic side! Making a great vegan charcuterie board such as this just a few years ago would have been much more complicated than it is now! There are so many great choices out there for vegan meats, cheeses, sauces, and even plant-based meats!
The key is knowing how to put it all together! To me, variety is the spice of life! So I like to find a variety of hard cheeses, soft cheeses, dips, and crackers. Daiya makes a great Farmhouse style block cheese, and of course, Miyoko Schinner, the original Queen of the Vegan Cheese, makes some pretty amazing cheeses that will blow your vegan minds! I like to slice the cheeses in different ways. Cubed, quartered, triangled, wavy, or ribboned, there is no wrong way to slice! In face the more the merrier!
Other accouterments might include olives (if you can find olive branches, they make a great garnish), pimentos, any variety of nuts, seasonal fruits, fresh figs, and don’t forget your garnishes! Sometimes, I will slice and use a toasted baguette! In the photo above, I made a sun-dried tomato cheesecake with rosemary. As a garnish, I used fresh sprigs of rosemary with some fresh cranberries for a festive look!
The other key to a good board is to have things spread out evenly. If you have a spread on one side, make sure you have one on the other side too! Balance is key! The best part is that it will allow you to showcase your artistic side and delight your guests! Don’t forget to add a few cheese knives and picks! I like the stainless steel picks because they can be reused! Whatever your style, have fun and enjoy!
Christmas is my favorite time of year! And this is one of my favorite appetizer recipes. I used to make a non-vegan version with eggs and dairy, so I was worried that I might lose some consistency; however, this cheesecake did not disappoint! It is so good and will be gone in a flash!
If you make your own cream cheese, you will definitely save a buck or two. But if you don’t, I would encourage you to spend the money on a good vegan cream cheese. I used Kite Hill Chives cream cheese and was delighted! Serve with crudités and crackers and few copies of the recipe!
1/2 cup julienne-cut, sun-dried tomatoes with herbs packed in oil, drained
1/3 cup cup toasted pine nuts
Assorted crackers and crudité
Garnish with:
Fresh rosemary, sun-dried tomatoes small diced, micro-greens, fresh rosemary
Instructions
Instructions
For the crust: Pre-heat oven to 350°. Pulse together the walnuts, flour, and salt to a fine meal in a food processor. Pulse in the butter until it forms a crumbly dough. Press into the bottom and up the sides of a 7-inch springform pan. Place on a baking sheet and bake until lightly browned, 15 to 20 minutes. Remove and let cool.
Beat cream cheese on medium speed with a mixer until fluffy. Blend in milk and next five ingredients, mixing on low speed. Fold in Parmesan cheese and rosemary; spoon over crust and spread to pan edges. Bake 45-50 minutes or until center is just set when jiggled. Remove from oven and gently run a paring knife between the cheesecake and pan. Cool 1 hour. Cover and refrigerate 4 hours.
Place cheesecake on a serving plate. Toss together sun-dried tomatoes and pine nuts in a small bowl. Spoon mixture over cheesecake and garnish with micro-greens and fresh rosemary. Serve with crackers and crudité.
This soup is not mine. I wish it were because it might be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I had always loved French Onion soup. So it was no surprise when my friend took me to a French restaurant in Soho called Balthazar that I ordered their Onion Soup Gratinée. These were my pre-vegan days, of course, and for weeks afterward, I only dreamt of this soup. It was so unbelievably satisfying that I finally reached out to my friend Kate and asked her to get me the Balthazar cookbook. The day I got the book in the mail, I went to the store, bought a 3-pound bag of onions, and went to work.
Now that I’m vegan, there were only a few small modifications to make. I am thrilled to say the flavor has not been altered at all. The trick is to make sure that the onions are deeply caramelized. Cooking the onions may take longer than expected, about 40 minutes. Be sure to keep the heat at medium and stir frequently. You do not want the onions to burn. The other key to this soup is the cheese. I used Miyoko’s Mozzarella cheese and grated it over the toasted sourdough bread.
A quote from the Balthazar’s cookbook…”Borrow a custom from Bordeaux and spill a little red wine into the bottom of your nearly empty soup bowl. The tradition, down known as chabrot, dictates a quick swirl of wine into the tail-end of the hot broth and then a hearty gulp right from the bowl.”
Ingredients
Scale
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon olive oil
4 medium yellow onions, peeled, halved through the stem end, and sliced 1/4 inch thick
1 tablespoon unsalted vegan butter
1 garlic clove, peeled and thinly sliced
4 sprigs of thyme
1 bay leaf
1 tablespoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
3/4 cup dry white wine
2 quarts vegetable stock
1/2 cup port
6 slices of sourdough bread, about 1 inch thick, toasted
In a 5-quart Dutch oven or other large, heavy pot, heat the olive oil over a medium flame. Add the onions and, stirring frequently to prevent burning, sauté until they reach a golden color, approximately 30 minutes.
Add the butter, garlic, thyme, bay leaf, salt, and pepper and cook for 10 minutes. Raise the heat to high, add the white wine, bring to a boil, and reduce the wine by half, about 3 to 5 minutes.
Add the vegetable stock and simmer for 45 minutes. Preheat the broiler. Remove the thyme springs and bay leaf, and swirl the port into the finished soup.
Ladle the soup into the 6 ovenproof bowls.
Fit the toasted bread into the bowls on top of the liquid, and sprinkle 1/3 cup of Mozzarella onto each slice. Place under the broiler for 3 minutes, or until the cheese melts to a crispy golden brown. Allow the soup to cool slightly, about 3 minutes, before serving.
Happy Hanukkah to all of my wonderful Jewish friends! I am a potato lover through and through…soooo making my Potato Latkes seemed like the most obvious choice for today! Some recipes use eggs. This one is a super simple recipe with only six ingredients! 🌱 🌱
These potato pancakes (called latkes) are meant to symbolize the miracle of Hanukkah, when the oil of the menorah in the ransacked Second Temple of Jerusalem was able to stay aflame for eight days even though there was only enough oil for one day. The symbolism comes in the form of the oil in which latkes are fried.
Just a quick tip…after shredding your potatoes, immerse them in cold water to keep them from discoloring. If you’re using a hand grater, you can shred them directly into the bowl of water. Soaking the shreds helps to keep them from turning brown; it also has the added benefit of making crispier latkes. Tart and fruity applesauce—unsweetened is best—cuts through the grease and lightens them right up, leaving you feeling perfectly satisfied, but not stuffed!
No eggs needed! The starchy potatoes when combined with the flour make the eggs unnecessary!
Ingredients
Scale
2 large potatoes peeled, grated and squeezed dry (about 1 1/2 lbs.)
1 medium yellow onion, chopped (about 1 1/4 cups)
1/4 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt (or 1 teaspoon fine sea salt), plus more for sprinkling
1/4 cup canola oil, divided, for frying
Instructions
Instructions:
1. Using a food processor with a coarse grating disc, grate the potatoes and onion. Transfer the mixture to a clean dishtowel and squeeze and wring out as much of the liquid as possible.
1. Combine all ingredients in large bowl. Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Scoop 1/2 cup potato mixture into skillet and use a spatula to flatten and shape the drops into discs. Repeat. Fry patties 3 to 4 minutes per side, or until golden brown. Cook remaining latkes in batches of 2, adding 1tablespoon of oil to skillet each time.
2. To drain, transfer latkes to wire rack on top of baking sheet lined with newspaper. Sprinkle with salt while still warm. You can also place latkes on pan in oven to keep warm. Serve with vegan sour cream or applesauce!
Over Thanksgiving, I watched Memoirs of a Geisha—a film my girls hadn’t seen, one my mom recommended, and one I hadn’t revisited since it first came out in 2005. You never quite know how one thing leads to another.
That small moment opened the door. Watching the film again, I found myself paying attention differently, not casually but attentively. It’s a movie that doesn’t ask you to watch so much as to observe. It trains the eye. Silk, choreography, ritual, discipline. Years of repetition hidden behind moments that look effortless. Identity shaped not by declaration, but by endurance. Beauty that costs something.
What stayed with me this time was the symbolism woven through Japanese culture itself, and how so many Japanese films speak in metaphor. They invite you inward rather than spelling things out, asking you to sit with what you’re seeing long enough for meaning to surface.
That sensibility feels deeply rooted in Buddhist thought—reflection over reaction, impermanence over possession, attention as a form of devotion. Gesture carries weight.
Silence teaches. Seasons mirror inner change. Mastery is earned through repetition, humility, and submission to form before expression is ever allowed. In this world, nothing is accidental: color, posture, timing, even stillness carries intention. Becoming is not about being seen, but about being shaped.
Anchoring the film—steady, watchful, restrained—is Ken Watanabe. He carries lineage in his body. Authority without spectacle. Recognition without excess. Watching him again, I realized how deeply that presence had stayed with me—not just as a character, but as a way of being. The kind of quiet mastery that doesn’t announce itself, but is immediately felt.
And as attention tends to do when it’s allowed to wander, it didn’t stop there. After the movie ended, I looked up the cast to see what else they’d done as I had immediately recognized Michelle Yeoh from Wicked. That small moment of recognition opened the door. Almost inevitably, it led me to Tampopo.
Rabbit Holes
At first glance, the two films couldn’t seem more different. One is silk and ceremony. The other is broth and steam. One is restrained, formal, deliberate. The other is playful, chaotic, absurd. But beneath the surface, they are speaking the same language.
Both understand that mastery is not chosen — it is survived into. That identity doesn’t arrive through affirmation or confidence, but through repetition, humility, attention, and care.
Tampopo doesn’t explain itself. It invites pursuit. And it rewards attention. In Tampopo, Ken Watanabe plays Gorō — the quiet, stoic truck driver who becomes Tampopo’s primary protector and anchor.
What struck me immediately — and what feels distinctly Japanese in its storytelling — is how punctuated the film is. It moves in deliberate beats rather than smooth arcs. Scenes arrive, land, and end cleanly — sometimes abruptly — like brushstrokes lifted from the page. There is space between moments. Silence after humor. Stillness after intensity. Nothing is rushed to resolution.
This punctuation isn’t accidental; it’s cultural. Japanese storytelling often trusts the pause as much as the action, the cut as much as the continuity. Meaning is allowed to crystallize in the gaps.
Each vignette stands on its own, yet accumulates power through repetition and contrast. You aren’t carried along passively — you’re invited to stop, to notice, to integrate. The film doesn’t spoon-feed emotion; it places it carefully and steps back. That rhythm mirrors everything else the film is teaching: attention over excess, intention over momentum, presence over performance.
Why Ramen Matters
To understand why that opening scene in Tampopo feels almost ceremonial, you have to understand what ramen represents in Japanese culture — because ramen is not just food. It is craft, labor, humility, and relationship, all contained in a single bowl.
Ramen is everyday food, but it is never casual. It lives at the intersection of accessibility and mastery. Anyone can eat it. Not everyone can make it well.
And making it well is not about luxury ingredients — it is about attention. Broth developed over hours. Noodles chosen for texture and bite. Toppings prepared separately and assembled deliberately. Balance matters more than excess. Harmony matters more than spectacle.
In Japan, ramen is also deeply democratic. Salarymen eat it after long days. Students eat it late at night. Chefs devote their lives to perfecting it, often specializing in a single style, a single broth, a single expression.
Entire reputations rest on how well one bowl is made — and whether it is made the same way, every day, without shortcuts. Ramen asks the cook to show up fully, repeatedly, and without ego.
That’s why there is reverence.
Not because ramen is rare, but because it demands integrity.
So when the old man in the opening scene teaches the younger man how to eat ramen — to look at it first, to inhale the aroma, to apologize to the pork, to sip the broth before attacking the noodles — he is not being precious or theatrical.
He is initiating him into a relationship. He is saying: this bowl represents someone’s labor, someone’s attention, someone’s life energy. To rush it is to miss it. To consume without awareness is to flatten it.
When he says “see you again,” to the pork, it lands on multiple levels. On the surface, it sounds playful. Underneath, it reflects a Buddhist understanding of continuity — that nothing truly ends, that effort carries forward, that nourishment circulates. The pig will return. Hunger will return. Attention will be required again.
The younger man laughs because he doesn’t yet understand that ramen, in this context, is a teacher.
This is why the rest of the film unfolds the way it does. Why people are judged not by what they eat, but by how. Why mastery is shown through repetition rather than brilliance. Why the garnish matters. Why finishing every last drop becomes a quiet form of respect. Why the bowl is emptied completely, not out of greed, but gratitude.
Ramen in Tampopo is not elevated into fine dining — it is honored as daily devotion. And that distinction matters. Because it mirrors the film’s deeper message: enlightenment doesn’t live only in temples or rituals. It lives in kitchens. In work done well. In care repeated without applause.
That’s what the old man knows at the beginning — and what everyone else slowly learns.
And that is precisely the point. They are eating ramen; he is practicing reverence. What they miss is the Buddhist truth threaded through the gesture: nothing ends, nothing is taken without consequence, nothing truly disappears.
The pork becomes nourishment, energy, warmth, movement—it returns in another form. The apology is not superstition; it is enlightenment. The men who laugh at him aren’t cruel — they’re simply unawake. They are eating. He is communing.
That distinction becomes one of the film’s central teachings.
What the old man actually teaches
1. Attention is the first act of respect He tells him to look at the bowl, admire it, inhale the aroma, acknowledge each element before touching it. This is a lesson in presence. If you rush past what nourishes you, you rush past life itself.
2. Gratitude must precede pleasure The apology to the pork, the reverence for the broth — these come before eating. In Buddhist thought, desire without awareness is suffering. Pleasure rooted in gratitude becomes communion.
3. Mastery is humility, not dominance The younger men treat food as something to conquer, consume, rate. The old man treats it as something to meet.
That difference is the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
Why the other men don’t get it
They laugh because they are still operating from:
efficiency
convenience
ego
entitlement
They think food exists for them.
The old man understands that he exists because of it.
That’s enlightenment — not robes or sermons, but the quiet knowing that:
life feeds life, and nothing should be taken unconsciously.
The deeper, unspoken lesson
The ramen becomes a koan.
If you can’t slow down for a bowl of noodles, you will miss love, grief, beauty, death, and devotion too.
The old man already knows this. The others are still hungry and don’t know why.
He was not teaching them how to eat ramen; he was teaching them how to stay awake while being fed.
Endurance as a Form of Love
The actress is Nobuko Miyamoto, and her adorableness isn’t accidental. In Tampopo, she’s not playing a fantasy of a chef — she’s playing a becoming. Curious, awkward, determined, exhausted, joyful. That sweetness is earned, not cute. It’s humility in motion.
And that montage — the insistence that good food requires endurance — is one of the most honest depictions of kitchen life ever put on film.
Because the movie tells the truth chefs know in their bones:
You need physical strength
You need stamina
You need repetition until the body knows before the mind does
You need muscle memory, not inspiration
Cooking is not just art. It’s labor. It’s training. It’s load-bearing devotion.
When I thought back to lifting fifty-pound boxes over my head at Gateway, it stopped feeling like a passing detail and suddenly became the point. Tampopo does not romanticize the work away — it honors it. It says plainly: this body must be capable of carrying what the heart wants to offer. Nourishment is not abstract.
Care is not theoretical. Devotion has weight. Arms must be strong enough. Stamina must be earned.
The fifty-pound boxes aren’t symbolic. They were heavy boxes of produce and meat in the refrigerator. They were real weight with consequences if mishandled. And it wasn’t only boxes — it was pulling heavy baking sheets out of hot ovens, wrists steady, stance grounded, timing exact.
Or moving large, heavy stock pots back and forth, again and again. Full. Sloshing. Hot. Awkward to carry.
That work wasn’t symbolic at the time — it was practical, necessary, relentless. But in hindsight, I see exactly what it was doing. It was creating strength. Not metaphorical strength. Actual strength. Balance. Endurance.
That work wasn’t subtle. It was strength being built in real time — in forearms and shoulders, in balance and endurance, in the kind of steadiness that keeps food safe and people fed. Tampopo honors this without flinching. It says plainly: devotion requires capacity.
You don’t get to offer nourishment unless your body can hold it. And so the work trains you — rep by rep, service by service — until strength stops being something you think about and becomes something you are.
That’s why I loved the film so deeply. Because I live that truth.
I know now that transcendence doesn’t float — it’s built. Rep by rep. Box by box. Service by service. The enlightenment in Tampopo is not something that descends from above; it rises from the ground up. It is earned through sore wrists, burned forearms, repetition, humility, and care. Through showing up again the next day and doing the work a little better than before. The body learns first. The mind follows later.
The kind that lives in the forearms, the shoulders, the core — the kind that lets you stay steady while holding something that could spill if you lose focus for even a second. Tampopo understands this kind of labor intimately.
It shows that devotion is not just intention, but capacity. You don’t get to offer nourishment unless your body can hold it. And so the work trains you — quietly, repetitively — until strength becomes part of who you are, not something you think about anymore.
Together, these moments make the film’s argument unmistakable: awakening is not delicate. It is muscular. It asks something of the body. And only when the body is willing to carry the weight does the offering become true.
The Feminine Is Not Delicate
That same lesson arrives through humor in the spaghetti scene. Tampopo carefully teaches a group of women how to eat properly — quietly, neatly, contained. Polite. The instruction is precise, disciplined, almost rigid. It mirrors the way women are so often taught to move through the world: controlled, careful, composed. Then a loud American man slurps his pasta with unapologetic pleasure, and the room shifts.
Suddenly, the women abandon restraint and eat like him — noisy, embodied, present. The scene isn’t really about manners. It’s about liberation through the body. About how rules without embodiment become hollow. About how pleasure, like mastery, has to be lived physically to be real. When the women follow him, it’s not regression — it’s reclamation. Civilization teaches control, especially to women. The body remembers something older. Desire wakes up when it is witnessed without shame.
For me, this lands directly in the kitchen. Being a woman chef does not mean being precious. It means being capable. Strong enough to lift. Steady enough to hold. Present enough to stay. The feminine here is not soft or ornamental — it is grounded, enduring, embodied. It does not ask permission. It carries the weight and makes the offering anyway.
The kitchen teaches this first. Before pleasure, before intimacy, the body learns presence through work — through weight, heat, repetition. And when that lesson moves elsewhere, it doesn’t change its nature.
Eroticism in Tampopo follows the same logic
The couple using whipped cream and salt on the body isn’t meant to arouse in a conventional sense. It’s about taste crossing into intimacy. Salt heightens flavor. Cream softens and carries it. Together, they mirror the same principles that govern the bowl of ramen: contrast, balance, attention, restraint.
The body becomes a landscape for tasting rather than consuming, and pleasure becomes something slow, deliberate, and sensory, not rushed or devoured. What’s important is not what they’re doing, but how they’re doing it — with focus, with curiosity, with presence. This mirrors the way the film insists food should be approached: not grabbed, not conquered, but explored.
Placed alongside scenes of slurping noodles, apologizing to pork, or finishing every last drop of broth, the moment reinforces the film’s deeper argument — that appetite is not something to suppress or indulge blindly, but something to meet consciously.
Desire, whether for food or for another person, becomes sacred when it is attended to. The scene also quietly dissolves the boundary between nourishment and intimacy: both require trust, timing, vulnerability, and care. When attention is present, even something as simple as salt on skin becomes a form of communion.
In this way, the scene isn’t an outlier — it’s a continuation. Tampopo keeps returning to the same truth from different angles: when we slow down, when we notice, when we allow sensation to be guided by awareness rather than impulse, ordinary acts become profound. Eating. Touching. Loving. All of it follows the same rules.
The lovers passing a raw egg yolk from mouth to mouth create heat not through exposure, but through attention — breath held, timing precise, trust absolute. Sensuality here is not spectacle. It is presence. Appetite, whether for food or for another person, becomes sacred when it is met fully.
But Tampopo never romanticizes appetite blindly.
Age Is Not the Same as Wisdom
The old woman squeezing peaches in the market is one of the most unsettling moments in the film. She presses fruit until it bruises, touching food without intention to nourish, prepare, or share. The shop owner slaps her hand away — not gently, not ceremonially, but firmly — a boundary enforced by someone who understands that touch carries responsibility.
Later, the refined older man who first appears wise and patient is revealed as a trickster — impersonating someone else, stealing money, still trying to grab one last bite before arrest. In Tampopo, the film dismantles the comforting idea that wisdom equals virtue. Slowness is not morality. Elegance is not purity. Even insight has appetite. Enlightenment does not erase desire — it makes us aware of it. Even wisdom leaves fingerprints.
What’s striking is that both of them are old. Age alone does not confer wisdom. What we’re watching is appetite without relationship. Sensation without care. The shadow of everything else the film reveres. Touch, when divorced from responsibility, curdles. And when the woman is seen — truly seen — she runs. Unconscious desire cannot survive awareness.
For the woman squeezing the peaches Her lesson is about touch without care. She reaches for sensation with no intention to nourish, prepare, or share. Food, in this moment, is not relationship — it’s extraction. The shop owner’s slap isn’t cruelty; it’s correction. It says: if you touch, you are responsible for what you alter. Her flight when she is seen shows that unconscious desire cannot withstand awareness. The lesson isn’t “don’t desire” — it’s that desire must be witnessed, bounded, and accountable. Appetite without relationship collapses.
For the refined older man His lesson is about appearance without integrity. He moves slowly, speaks gently, wears the costume of wisdom. But refinement is not virtue, and patience is not proof of ethics. His final grasping — still wanting one more taste even as he’s exposed — reveals that appetite doesn’t disappear with age or insight. The lesson here isn’t condemnation; it’s clarity. Enlightenment doesn’t erase desire. It makes us responsible for it. Wisdom, if it’s real, shows up in restraint, not aesthetics.
Taken together The film refuses the fantasy that time civilizes desire on its own. Age doesn’t redeem appetite — practice does. Care does. Presence does. Whether in a market, a kitchen, or a life, the moral line isn’t how old you are or how refined you appear, but whether your desire can stand being seen — and whether you’re willing to carry the consequences of your touch.
Mastery Is a Communal Act
What holds the film together — what makes it feel alive — is community. Tampopo does not become herself alone.
Gorō isn’t a teacher in the formal sense. He doesn’t lecture or dominate. His role is steadier than that. He offers presence, safety, and discernment. He recognizes potential before it’s proven. While others bring technique, critique, or lineage, Gorō brings containment — the masculine principle of holding the space so becoming can happen.
He watches more than he speaks. He intervenes when necessary. He stands nearby while Tampopo learns, fails, practices, and grows. In many ways, he functions as the spine of the community that gathers around her: not the loudest force, but the stabilizing one.
The sensei. The truckers. The contractor from the bar fight. Each person arrives with a different gift: discipline, protection, feedback, lineage. Nourishment creates kinship. Learning is communal. Mastery is shared.
When the five men who helped her finally sit down to eat her ramen, the film reaches its quiet crescendo. Each man eats differently.
One slurps — instinctive, embodied, unapologetic.
One sips — careful, measured, attentive to nuance.
One pauses — reflective, letting the bowl speak before responding.
One studies — technical, evaluative, trained to notice balance and structure.
One devours — grateful, wholehearted, deeply hungry. None of them eat the same way, and none of them are wrong. What unites them is attention.
This, to me, is the clearest articulation of what we do with food. Nourishment is not received uniformly. A cook does not feed one kind of eater. We offer something shaped by discipline, repetition, and care, and then we release it.
We don’t control how it is met. We don’t demand a single response. We watch.
Tampopo stands behind the counter with nervous hands, holding herself back, witnessing.
Because the truth of the offering isn’t in praise or critique — it’s in the bowls.
One by one, every bowl is emptied. Different paths, same arrival. That’s how she knows. That’s how we know.
The film has trained us by now to notice how people eat. The music builds. Awareness builds. One by one, every bowl is emptied. Every last drop of broth gone. Faces soften. Satisfaction lands. Fulfillment arrives without a word.
She knows. We know. She did it.
And then the film refuses to let fulfillment turn into fantasy.
The boar story is not about food — it’s about desire meeting mortality
The moral of the boar story in Tampopo is this:
Desire must be met while the body is able — because awareness alone is not enough.
Here’s what the film is teaching through that story.
The wild boar represents future appetite: a meal not yet cooked, a pleasure not yet shared, a life moment deferred. Hunting the boar isn’t about violence or conquest; it’s about readiness. The boar is something you must be strong enough to face, present enough to pursue, and alive enough to receive. It exists in the realm of “someday.”
When the man tells the boar story as he is dying, he is naming what will never happen — not with regret, but with clarity. He knows exactly how the meat would taste. He knows how it should be eaten. He knows who he wanted to share it with. But knowledge arrives after capacity is gone.
That’s the moral.
Tampopo keeps making this distinction throughout the film:
knowing how to eat is not the same as eating
imagining flavor is not the same as tasting
understanding reverence is not the same as being able to receive it
The boar story says: do not postpone your devotion. Do not wait until the moment passes to become attentive. Do not confuse intention with action. Appetite is not shameful, but it is time-bound.
Placed where it is — after mastery, after triumph — the story delivers the film’s most unsentimental truth:
fulfillment does not protect you from impermanence
love does not guarantee more time
skill does not buy you an extension
But attention still matters.
The man dies having been seen. His desire is witnessed. His story is heard. And that is the film’s final act of compassion: even when the meal can no longer be eaten, meaning can still be honored.
So the boar story is not a warning against desire.
It’s a reminder to meet life while you can — with your body, not just your understanding.
This is the film’s sharpest distinction between nourishment and consumption. Nourishment requires presence. He has awareness, taste, memory — but his body is leaving. Desire remains after capacity is gone.
Why he tells a story instead of eating
Storytelling becomes his final act of appetite.
When the body can no longer eat, the mind reaches for meaning. He isn’t asking her to cook. He isn’t fantasizing erotically. He’s placing his longing into language — into narrative — because that’s all that’s left.
This mirrors what Tampopo has been teaching all along:
eating is presence
cooking is devotion
storytelling is remembrance
At the moment of death, nourishment shifts forms.
“After triumph comes loss” — and the film refuses to comfort us
This scene comes after the successful bowl. After mastery. After recognition.
That placement matters.
Tampopo is saying something very unsentimental:
fulfillment does not protect you
mastery does not exempt you
love does not delay death
And yet — attention still matters.
She kneels with him. She listens. She stays.
When she begs him to hold on and promises they’ll go hunt wild boar together, she’s doing what humans always do at the edge of loss: projecting continuity. He already knows the truth. That’s why he’s calm. He isn’t clinging. He’s savoring the idea of what could have been.
The tragedy isn’t that he dies.
The tragedy is that he knows exactly how he would have eaten that meal — and never will.
Why the film doesn’t soften this moment
Because Tampopo isn’t a fantasy about food.
It’s a meditation on impermanence.
The scene tells us:
appetite survives longer than the body
imagination outlives capacity
meaning is not erased by death, but it is cut short
And still — the act of attention dignifies the moment.
He doesn’t die alone. He is witnessed. His desire is named.
That’s the film’s quiet mercy.
Why this scene matters so much in the context of the whole film
Every other scene teaches us how to eat while we can. This scene shows us what happens when we cannot.
It’s the shadow side of reverence.
If the opening scene says:
“Look at the bowl. Inhale. Apologize to the pork.”
This scene says:
“One day, you will only remember how it tasted.”
And that’s why it hurts.
Because it’s true.
And the film ends where life begins — with a baby nursing at its mother’s breast. The most innocent form of nourishment. What begins as instinct becomes ritual, mastery, culture — and then returns to innocence again, consciously. The circle closes.
Tampopo centers on a woman who is becoming
Tampopo is a widowed single mother running a struggling ramen shop. She is earnest, overwhelmed, and aware of her own inadequacy — not ashamed of it, but clear-eyed about how far she has to go. She doesn’t want comfort or shortcuts. She wants mastery. When she meets Gorō, a stoic truck driver with a discerning palate (played by Ken Watanabe), she does something radical in its simplicity: she asks for help. She offers to pay him to teach her how to make truly great ramen.
What follows is not a montage of instant success, but an apprenticeship. Gorō becomes her anchor and protector, but the work of learning expands into community. A self-styled ramen sensei teaches discipline and tradition. Truckers offer feedback. A contractor from a bar fight provides strength and loyalty. Each man contributes something different — technique, critique, labor, lineage — and none of them replace her effort. Tampopo trains her body, her palate, her stamina. She fails publicly. She practices relentlessly. She learns that ramen is not just flavor, but structure, timing, heat, and care.
The story is not about transformation through talent, romance, or luck. It’s about endurance. Tampopo does not become herself alone, and she does not become herself accidentally. She becomes through repetition, humility, and willingness to be seen while learning. By the time her ramen is ready to be judged, the victory is quiet and unmistakable: the bowls are emptied. The work holds. She has become what she set out to be — not because she dreamed it, but because she trained for it.
As I sat with it, the film unfolded like a quiet mirror, reflecting my life since this time last year — shaped by labor, repetition, loss, and the slow arrival of clarity.
This movie feels like one of those moments where life leans in and says, Here. See this. This is for you.
The boar story began to feel uncomfortably familiar — not because of the loss itself, but because of what it revealed about timing. About how easy it is to understand something only after the body has already lived it. I recognize that pattern in my own life: moments where love, connection, or possibility existed fully in the present, but only became clear once they had already passed through me. Not as regret. As learning.
What I see now is that the lesson was never about holding on. It was about showing up. Being present while the moment was still alive. Saying yes to the experience without demanding permanence from it. Letting something matter without needing to keep it. The boar isn’t meant to be possessed. It’s meant to be met — while you still have the strength, the breath, the capacity.
There are relationships in my life that taught me this — not through resolution, but through contrast. Through what stayed embodied and what remained imagined. Through learning the difference between desire felt in the body and desire postponed into story. What I understand now is that some connections arrive not to be completed, but to teach you how to be present — and then ask you to let go once the lesson has landed.
That this realization arrived on the Winter Solstice, as the sun moved into Capricorn, feels less like coincidence and more like alignment. The longest night of the year. The pause point. The inhale before the light begins its slow return. Capricorn understands this timing. It rules endurance, structure, lineage — mastery earned through repetition. It doesn’t promise ease. It promises continuation.
Now we begin to turn back toward the light.
Not all at once. Not dramatically. Minute by minute. Day by day.
Longer days, even if only by a breath at first.
That’s how real change happens. That’s how chefs are made. That’s how identity settles.
The work has been done. The bowl is whole.
Watching Tampopo sent me back to my original ramen recipe from 2019 with new eyes — not to reinvent it, but to finally give it the attention and reverence it deserved. What I thought was finished back then was really just the beginning.
A delicious bowl of ramen is the ultimate comfort food. And the best part is that you can make ramen an infinite number of ways! This recipe happens to be my favorite, but you can use whatever ingredients you love or happen to have on hand. Some additional toppings might include:
1 Fresno chile pepper, seeded and thinly sliced lengthwise
12 ounces somen, udon or ramen noodles
Instructions
Make the Broth:
In a dutch oven over medium-high heat, saute the onion in 1 tablespoon oil until tender about 3 minutes. Turn heat to medium, add the garlic and ginger and continue cooking the onions until they are deeply golden brown about 3 more minutes. Add the mushrooms to the pan; cook, stirring, until wilted, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the vegetable stock, a sheet of kombu, mirin, gochujang. Bring to a Simmer.
Make Tofu:
Cut the tofu into bite-sized cubes. Warm a skillet over medium heat, when heated add 1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil. Add the tofu and cook for about 10 minutes until lightly browned and crisp on all sides, turning occasionally.
Meanwhile, stir together 2 tablespoons miso, 1 tablespoon soy sauce and 1 tablespoon water. When the tofu is browned, turn off heat and carefully pour sauce over tofu (be careful, it splatters!). Stir sauce onto tofu and cook additional minute over medium heat until fragrant.
Assemble:
Add the bok choy and ramen noodles to dutch oven. Cover and cook, stirring halfway through, until the boy choy is wilted and the noodles are tender, about 4 minutes. Add Tofu.
Top each bowl with chili.
Serve Immediately.
Notes
If you cannot find fresh shiitake mushrooms you can use dried. Just be sure to chop or slice them into small pieces.
I love a good chili recipe. For a little bit of effort, you get a massive bang for your buck! This version is the fourth and final incarnation. The addition of the cocoa powder initially went against my traditionalist chili mentality. But a friend of mine insisted that I add it at least once. I was oddly skeptical at first but utterly amazed by the complexity added! Much like salt and pepper, the cocoa powder enhances the flavor of the other spices! I promise you’ll love it!
This chili is a family favorite! It comes together perfectly and quickly! The addition of the cocoa powder adds a depth of flavor to the beans, tomato sauce, and chili powder making the chili itself taste richer!
Ingredients
Scale
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green pepper, chopped into small pieces
4 cloves of garlic, pressed (or finely minced)
1 cup vegetable broth
1 (15 ounce) can of tomato sauce
1 (15 ounce) can of diced tomatoes
1 (15 ounce) can of kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 (15 ounce) can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 (15 ounce) can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1/4 cup of chili powder
1 tablespoon baking cocoa
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 teaspoon of black pepper
2/ tbsp cumin
1/2 teaspoon of oregano
Instructions
Warm dutch oven over medium heat for about 2-3 minutes, then add oil. Once oil is warmed, add onion and bell pepper. Cook for about 5-6 minutes, stirring frequently.
Add in the garlic and cook for an additional 2 minutes, stirring frequently and being careful not to burn the garlic.
Add spices, coating vegetables well. Cook for about 1 minute. Add remaining ingredients, scraping up any brown bits on the bottom of the pan. Increase heat, and bring to a boil.
Reduce the heat to a simmer and cook for at least 30 minutes. The longer the chili cooks, the more flavor it will have. So, if you’ve got the time, let it very gently simmer on the stove for an hour or even up to 2 hours. If you cook it for several hours, you may need to add in just a bit more broth or water.
Once ready to eat, take off of the heat and garnish with some vegan sour cream, green onion, avocado, etc.
One of the first things you learn in culinary school, or any professional kitchen worth its salt, is how to make the five classic French “Mother Sauces.” I am a sucker for these sauces, with my favorite being the béchamel. This versatile white sauce can be used in various pasta dishes or as a drizzle over roasted vegetables. It also serves as a base for my other favorite sauce, the Mornay, aka the béchamel sauce, plus cheese. I love a good vegan fondue. But enough about the white sauces. We are here to talk about the classic brown sauces and my friends; this is a labor of love.
Sauce Espagnole and demi-glace are both rich brown sauces, but the latter derives from the former. After a Sauce Espagnole has been made, it can easily be used in a 1:1 ratio with brown stock, then reduced by half and finished with wine—resulting in an intensely flavored demi-glace sauce. It can be stirred into soups, stews, and risotto.
A demi-glace is a brown stock reduced by prolonged simmering combined with an Espagnole sauce or one of French cuisine’s five classic mother sauces. A classic demi-glace is made with veal, but beef and poultry are sometimes used. But we are using a combination of hearty vegetables! The “demi,” meaning half, signifies that the reduced stock (glace) is combined with the Espagnole sauce in a half-and-half ratio.
You can use whatever you have on hand, provided you combine sweet vegetables with more savory plants for balance. Too much sweet stuff could make the demi way too sweet and syrupy.
1 head garlic, sliced in half (don’t worry about peeling)
1 lemon, washed and sliced in half width-wise
2 Tbsp tomato paste
1 Tbsp whole peppercorns
6 cups water
1/2 cup dry red wine (sherry or cabernet is preferred)
Instructions
Toss vegetables and peppercorns in a large bowl with tomato paste, coating well. Oil bottom of pan—this step is optional but will prevent sticking. Transfer to a deep hotel pan or other deep (at least 4″ oven safe pan. Place vegetables in the oven and roast for about 45 minutes to 1 hour. Check your veggies every 20 minutes or so, stirring and rotating as needed to prevent edges from burning.
After roasting remove from oven. Add wine, scraping any brown bits. These caramelized morsels of concentrated juice, called the fond—literally, the foundation—will enrich the stock from the bottom of the pan. Carefully, add 6 cups water to vegetables and return to oven for 30 to 40 minutes.
Strain the stock through a sieve into another pot, pressing the vegetables with the back of a ladle to extract all the juices.
Over high heat, combine 1 part Espagnole to 1 part Vegetable stock, boil for 10 minutes or until reduced by half, stirring occasionally.
Sauce Espagnole is a basic brown sauce, and is one of Auguste Escoffier’s five mother sauces of classic French cooking. Typically made from stock, mirepoix, and tomatoes, and thickened with roux. This easy and basic brown sauce can be used as a base for other French sauces.
According to Alan Davidson, in The Oxford Companion to Food, “The name has nothing to do with Spain, any more than the counterpart term “allemande” has anything to do with Germany. It is generally believed that the terms were chosen because, in French eyes, Germans have blonde hair and Spaniards have brown hair.”
It is also easy to freeze and use as needed! This simple recipe is an adaptation of the great Thomas Keller.
Basic brown sauce that can be used in a variety of ways.
Ingredients
Scale
¼ cup diced carrots
½ cup diced onions
½ stick unsalted butter
Kosher salt
¼ cup all-purpose flour
4 cups hot vegetable stock
¼ cup canned tomato purée
2 large garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup diced celery
¼ teaspoon whole black peppercorns
1 bay leaf
Instructions
In a heavy-bottom saucepan set over medium heat, cook the carrots and onion in the butter with a pinch of salt, stirring occasionally, until softened, 6 to 7 minutes.
Reduce the heat to low, add the flour, and cook the roux, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until golden brown in color, 6 to 10 minutes.
Using a whisk, add the hot stock in a fast stream, whisking constantly to prevent lumps. Add the tomato purée, garlic, celery, peppercorns, and bay leaf.
Bring to a boil, lower heat and simmer, uncovered, stirring often to make sure the bottom doesn’t scorch. Reduced the liquid by about one-third, until sauce coats the back of a spoon, about 35 to 40 minutes.
Pour sauce through a sieve into a bowl, discarding solids.
I am a sucker for French food and French wine. To this day, my favorite cookbook is still Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.” A few years ago, I bought a vintage 20th edition copy released in 1971, the year I was born. The book has what looks to be wine stains across its pages, likely from the valiant efforts of another brave epicure hoping to recreate her world-famous bourguignon. I say valiant because if you’ve never seen Julia’s bourguignon recipe, let me just say it is a three-page lesson in patience. But alas, I digress.
The very first vegan cooking class that I taught was Vegan France. This recipe, along with my mushroom bourguignon, were two of my favorite recipes I shared with the class. A traditional molded foie gras is made with goose liver. It is salty and savory, and let me just say when I was a meat-eater, one of my favorite indulgences.
This recipe is an adaptation of Rebecca Leffler’s recipe from her vegan French cookbook. This “faux” gras is made with mushrooms, french green lentils, rosemary, thyme, walnuts, cognac, and a beet puree added in for color. Sure to satisfy even the most die-hard fin gourmets, I like to serve it with nice French Bordeaux and a traditional Pain de Campagne. Bon appétit!
24 medium-sized (200g, about 2 cups) button mushrooms
4 tablespoons olive oil
4 tablespoons butter salted or unsalted
2 small onion peeled and diced
4 cloves garlic peeled and minced
2 cups (800g) cooked green lentils
2 cups (280g) toasted walnuts or pecans
4 tablespoons liquid aminos or tamari
4 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary
4 teaspoons fresh thyme, minced
4 tablespoons fresh sage or flat leaf parsley
4 teaspoons Cognac or brandy
2-teaspoon brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3–4 tablespoons beetroot puree (recipe below)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Instructions
Wipe the mushrooms clean. Remove stem end and slice them.
Heat the olive oil and butter in a skillet or wide saucepan. Add the onions and garlic, and cook, stirring frequently, until the onions become translucent, 5 to 6 minutes. Add mushrooms, rosemary, thyme, sage, and Cognac/brandy and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mushrooms are soft and cooked through, another 5 to 8 minutes. Remove from heat.
In a food processor, combine the cooked lentils, brown sugar, and cayenne. Scrape in the cooked mushroom mixture and process until completely smooth. Fold in beet puree. Taste. Add salt, pepper, additional cognac, soy sauce, or lemon juice, if it needs balancing.
Scrape the pâté into a small serving bowl, top with a thin layer of vegan butter if using, and refrigerate for a few hours, until firm. (If you’re making it on the fly, feel free to freeze it)
For Beetroot Puree:
½ pound roasted red beets
¼ cup Grapeseed oil
¾ tsp salt
1 tablespoons finely chopped shallot
1 tablespoons water
¾ teaspoons fresh cilantro leaves
¾ teaspoons red wine vinegar
Pinch of black pepper
Place beets, Grapeseed oil, shallots, 1 tablespoons water, cilantro, vinegar, and remaining 3/4 teaspoon salt in a blender, and process until blended, about 5 seconds. Add beets, and process until smooth, about 40 seconds, stopping to scrape down sides as needed. Stir in black pepper.
New Orleans holds a special place in my heart. It’s a city unlike any other in the US, with its own language (the YAT dialect), music (the birthplace of jazz), and its own food (Creole and Cajun). And when it comes to gumbo, the great debate in the Big Easy is Creole gumbo vs. Cajun gumbo! My personal favorite is both the Creole and the Cajun style.
A typical Creole roux is made from butter and flour (as in France), while a Cajun roux is usually made with lard or oil and flour. This is partly due to the scarcity of dairy products in some areas of Acadiana (Acadia + Louisiana) when Cajun cuisine was being developed.
Creole and Cajun dishes are both built on the “holy trinity.” This aromatic base of sautéed bell peppers, onions, and celery, is Louisiana’s version of mirepoix, or the mix of carrots, celery, and onion used in French cooking. The trinity, a result of the region’s strong French influence, is a key component in many Creole and Cajun dishes, adding depth and flavor.
Creole food, on the other hand, has its roots in Caribbean cuisine. Okra itself is an African ingredient incorporated into Creole dishes. Filé, or ground sassafras leaves, is a gumbo thickener, similar to cornstarch today, and comes from Native Americans. These have all become staples of Louisiana food and essential parts of the Louisiana cooking puzzle.
I hope you love this recipe as much as I do! If you’ve had your own memorable experiences with New Orleans cuisine, I’d love to hear about them. Share your stories in the comments below!
The key to a good roux is to cook it “low and slow.” Keep the heat just south of medium heat and stir often. A good gumbo roux will take anywhere from 8-10 minutes to make. You’re looking for a nice chocolate color. I like to serve this over rice with a huge slice of my cornbread! As is the case with most gumbos, this dish is best prepared either early in the day it is to be served, or even the day before, thereby allowing time for the flavors to marry. When reheating, stir often!
In a heavy-bottomed skillet, heat 1 tablespoon of oil, add the okra, and sauté over medium-high heat for about 10 – 15 minutes or until all the “ropiness” is gone. This step may take a little longer if fresh okra is used. Frozen vegetables are usually plunged into boiling water and blanched before freezing so they are partially cooked.
Place 2-3 tablespoons of oil in a large (8 quart) heavy-bottomed non-reactive Dutch oven-type pot. Add the flour and, over a medium-high fire, make a darkend brown roux. If the roux seems too thick, add more oil. When the proper color is achieved, add the onions, bell pepper, celery, and garlic and saute, stirring occasionally, until tender.
During this process, allow the vegetables to stick to the bottom of the pan a bit, then scrape the bottom with a metal spoon or spatula. This allows some of the natural sugars in the onions to caramelize, rendering great depth of flavor.
Stir in jackfruit and sausage, and sauté for about 5 minutes, until the veggies begin to soften.
Stir in the broth, tomatoes, okra, Worcestershire, Creole mustard, pickapeppa sauce, liquid smoke, apple cider vinegar, hot sauce, and soy sauce.
Add Voodoo Spice Mix, bay leaves, and filé. Raise the heat and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and allow to simmer, stirring occasionally, until the broth is thick and the veggies are tender, about 30 minutes.
Years ago, I was fortunate enough to spend some time in Newport, Rhode Island. I loved it there and can’t wait to go back someday. As a foodie, of course, my first mission was to find the very best clam chowder I could find. So every restaurant I went to, I ordered their clam chowder. The winner was from a restaurant called the Black Pearl. Their version had a perfect balance of creaminess, texture, and flavor that I’ve never forgotten.
Now that I am a vegan, of course, I refrain from seafood. But my love for clam chowder has never faded! And I don’t think I’m the only one! The most viewed recipe on my blog with nearly 7,000 views is my vegan lobster bisque recipe made with lobster mushrooms! So it occurred to me that maybe it was time to try my hand at a vegan version of clam chowder.
My recipe is made using oyster mushrooms instead of clams and seasoned with dulse flakes. I promise you’ll be in chow-dah heaven!
Make Cashew Cream—Add cashews, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, white pepper, and 1 cup water to a high-speed blender, and blend until smooth. Set aside.
Warm dutch oven over medium heat. Add 2 Tbsp vegetable stock, onions and celery. Sauté until onions become translucent, about 7-8 minutes. Add garlic and sauté until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Season with 1 tsp salt.
Add mushrooms and thyme. Sauté on medium heat for 6-8 minutes, adding additional vegetable stock 1 tbsp at a time if vegetables begin to stick.
Add potatoes, vegetable stock, dulse flakes, garlic powder, and salt and pepper. Bring ingredients to a boil. Cover and reduce heat to low and simmer for 15-20 minutes, or until potatoes are softened.
When potatoes are done, add cashew cream sauce and dill weed. Stir well. Taste for seasonings. Add additional salt and pepper as needed.
This year has tested all of us in so many ways. For me, it began with the heartbreaking loss of my father to Parkinson’s disease.
Not long after, the world changed overnight when COVID hit and everything seemed to fall apart. Through it all, I’ve leaned deeply into my yoga practice—it’s kept me grounded, patient, focused, and strong.
I’m currently pouring my heart into a cookbook, homeschooling my two youngest kids, and recently crossed the finish line of a half marathon I began training for last summer.
Life feels full to the brim, but staying balanced and rooted has become my greatest practice of all.
Through it all, yoga has been my anchor. Each breath, each posture has helped me stay patient, focused, and rooted in the present moment. Tree pose, especially, reminds me how to find my footing when the world feels uncertain.
Trees have always been symbols of longevity, courage, and quiet resilience. From a single seed, they rise toward the light, bending but never breaking.
They teach us that with faith, determination, and a deep connection to the earth—and to Spirit—we too can grow into our own strength.
For centuries, holy men known as sadhus have meditated in this posture as a form of deep self-discipline.
It’s one of the oldest and most reliable ways to return to balance—a simple yet powerful pose that strengthens the legs and spine while opening the hips and heart.
Balancing poses teach us life’s essential lessons: how to root down, find our center, and quiet the mind.
And the process itself—falling, wobbling, and trying again—cultivates patience, humility, persistence, and even a sense of humor.
Stand firmly with your feet planted on the ground, back straight, and gaze forward.
Put your arms by your side. Be sure to distribute your weight evenly across the soles of both feet.
Slowly shift your weight onto the left foot, then bend your right knee upward. Rest your right foot along your inner left calf, or reach to grasp your right ankle and guide it to your thigh.
Find a comfortable place to rest your foot, either above or below the knee, just not directly over it. Do not lock the standing knee.
Either keep your hands on your hips or bring them together in a prayer position at chest level. Choose your Drishti, or a point directly in front of you to focus your attention and gaze.
As you settle into Tree pose, press the right foot into the left leg, and the left leg into the right foot. This will help you find equal pressure and ensures that your hips are squared toward the front.
When you are stable and steady, breathe in and raise your arms overhead with your fingertips pointing to the sky.
You can stay here with palms facing each other, fingertips splayed, or choose to bring the palms together in an overhead prayer position.
Take 5-10 breaths, the lower your foot and repeat on the other side.
Don’t worry if one side is more comfortable than the other one. That’s why it’s called a yoga practice! It’s not uncommon for the body to be unbalanced or off-centered. The goal is to work on strengthening and balancing both sides of the body.
When I first became a vegan, I couldn’t find a non-dairy whipped cream anywhere. Now you can buy it pretty much anywhere, but it costs a small fortune, and my last two cans quick working with half of the cream still in the can. While making the sugar whipped aquafaba for my cornbread recipe, it occurred to me that if I added cream of tartar, vanilla extract for sweetness, that I would have a vegan whipped cream!
If you’re looking for an easy whipped cream recipe for a yummy Thanksgiving pie, I’ve got you covered! Be sure to add this to your dish right before serving. The whipped cream will deflate after a few hours, but you can re-whip it again and again and it will come back to peaks in 2-3 minutes.
Looking for an easy and inexpensive whipped cream? If the answer is yes, this recipe is for you!
Ingredients
Scale
1 can garbanzo beans, drained, reserve liquid
1/4 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 Tbsp powdered sugar
Instructions
Drain garbanzo beans and keep the liquid (aquafaba). Set beans aside for another use. Add aquafaba (I use all of what was in the can) to a mixing bowl (I used a stand mixer). Mix on high for 5 minutes, or until mixture begins to foam. Add cream of tartar, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar. Mix for a few minutes more until soft peaks begin to form, about 3-5 minutes. Taste for sweetness and adjust to preference. Do not overmix, or the whipped cream will fall and flatten out.
When I was a kid, we moved around a lot. And I mean, a lot. For instance, when I was in the 5th grade, I went to 2 different schools in one week. I won’t go into all the reasons why we moved. But between mom’s restless nature and money issues, I lived in a total of 18 different houses until I left for college. No joke. Every time I started to establish firm roots, I was plucked up and planted someplace else. Sometimes I was lucky enough to be in the same school district. Other times, I was not. And like flowers in a garden, you either learn to adapt and become so strong that nothing can kill you or you wilt and die.
So it’s not hard to imagine there were some real gaps in my education. I was a good student and usually enjoyed school. But I always felt like I was either behind or ahead of everyone else and mostly kept to myself. I left home at sixteen when they decided to move again and lived with friends until I graduated a semester early. Looking back now, I’m surprised that I did as well as I did. I also realized moving around a lot was an education in and of itself. Making me more flexible and resourceful, I learned to assimilate into any new situation quickly, how to ask for help when I needed it, and grew to be so damn determined to be the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.
Little did I know that one day, because of a global pandemic, I would homeschool my kids, and many of those gaps would begin to fill in. One of the best things about being my kid’s teacher is that I can take my time and stick with a topic until they have fully assimilated it, which is critical for my son, who has high functioning autism. While his IQ is somewhere north of 130, he struggles with learning new material, which makes school a problem for kids like him since they are allowed only so much time to learn the material. In elementary school, his grades were not excellent, but not bad. They were also not predictive whatsoever of his actual intelligence. They say that gifted kids also have a learning disability. So while he could memorize a 32-page book word for word, he couldn’t tell you the context of the story or its meaning.
As with a lot of spectrum kids, reading comprehension is a significant issue for him. And it remained his biggest issue until he got to middle school, where things changed for the worse. You see, the other critical components of Aspergers kids are that they struggle with peer assimilation and social cueing. For example, something that you or I may just “pick up on” won’t even register with him. So he often speaks out of turn and talks about subjects that seem random and out of place. To him, what he’s saying makes perfect sense, but to others, not so much.
Unfortunately, this cognitive deficit led to relentlessly bullying, which often left him in tears. He ate lunch alone and developed a strategy for choosing which corridors to walk down to avoid his tormenters. His teachers saw him withdraw, and his grades began to plummet. Never one to run from problems, I decided to hire a private tutor, set him up with a private counselor, had a girl removed from two of his classes, and sought a resolution with the other bullies from the school counselor and the 6th-grade principal. Just as things seemed to turn the corner, covid hit. And when I became his teacher, the real heartbreak set in when I realized just how far behind he was. So I put everything else aside and took on the role of a full-time teacher.
It goes without saying that when you are a teacher, you have to know the material before you can teach it. So for weeks before starting school and every night afterward, I became a student again. In some subjects, I am re-learning material that I’d forgotten. But in other subjects, I am learning things I never knew. And I have to say it’s pretty cool. I certainly appreciate the knowledge that I’m gleaning, way more than I did when I was a kid. I also kept my youngest child at home too. She is just the opposite of her brother. A social butterfly, often bored in school because she isn’t being challenged enough.
And I am teaching them so much more than math and reading, science, or social studies. I’m teaching them to think critically and not believe everything they see, read, or hear. I am teaching them that the victors write the history books, but there is always more to the story. We are learning about poets, artists, and activists. We take field trips to the art museum and hike through the woods. Cooking is science class, and math is everywhere we look.
When he was young, a school counselor told me that my son had a limited learning capacity and would likely never go to college. I am proud to say that he is catching up, and not only is he doing well, he is flourishing. He will begin taking dual credit college courses in two years and will graduate from high school with an associates degree. But most importantly, he’s happy and knows that by putting in the hard work, he can learn. He also knows that no matter how hard it is, and no matter how bad it gets, life can always get better. My 2nd grader is doing 3rd-grade work now and has taken over, reading to me every night. I’m pretty sure that if I’ve ever had a life’s purpose, I’ve found it in teaching my kids.
And in case you don’t know Invictus, here it is.
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
The end all be all of the spice mixes! I use this in so many recipes that I get in a panic when I start to run dry! It keeps well in an air tight container for up to six months. I use it in my gumbo, red beans and rice, jambalaya, and my black-eyed pea recipes! When I use this mix, it replaces the salt in all my recipes.
I adore Julie Piatt, aka Sri Mati. She is the author of “This Cheese is Nuts” and is also what you might call my spiritual mentor. She is a peace-loving hippie momma and a vegan. And she has created the best vegan version of goat cheese or chèvre that I’ve ever had. I make this recipe at least 2-3 days before I want to use it. I think the longer it has to sit and ferment, the better.
If you don’t have a dehydrator, don’t fret. You can use your oven on the lowest setting (mine is 150°) and bake for 1 hour. Because I make a lot of vegan cheeses I always keep acidophilus caps in the fridge. Also, I think it goes without saying that you do have to open the capsules before using, but I’ll say it anyway!
2 tsp refined coconut oil (make SURE it says “refined”)
1 tsp Himalayan sea salt
2 Tbsp za’atar, or other herb combo such as thyme, oregano, marjoram
Instructions
Add everything but the za’atar to blender. Blend on medium speed until smooth. Depending on your mixer this could take anywhere from 45 seconds to 3-4 minutes.
Transfer mixture to the center of cheese cloth. Gather the edges and tie off each end with string. Place in dehydrator and dehydrate at 90° for 24 hours. If you do not have a dehydrator you can achieve something similar in a low oven at 170° for one hour.
Once aging is complete remove cheese from the cloth including the rind, and add to stand mixer. Mix until light and fluffy.
Adjust seasonings to taste. She recommends adding the remaining 1/8 tsp, if too mild.
Turn cheese out onto clean workspace and divide in half. Roll 1/2 of the cheese inside wax paper until it forms a nice even log. Repeat with the other half.
After the logs have set roll in herb mixture and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Mostly because I get to see family, eat until my heart’s content, and then lay around like a slug watching football until it’s time to go to bed. But being a vegan means I always have to bring my own food! Every year I tell myself I’m going to make something different, and every year I come back to this same recipe! I LOVE this dish for Thanksgiving. It is not only delicious, but it’s also a show stopper! Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” And I get enough compliments on this dish to last me until Valentine’s Day!
The basmati mixed with the sweet cranberries and spicy vegan sausage is simply delicious! If you don’t want to use the Field Roast Farms sausage, you can use Crimini mushrooms instead. The vegan goat cheese is super simple to make, and I usually double the batch. I use half the cheese for this recipe (I also use it in my Mushroom Wellington recipe). And I use the other half of the cheese rolled in herbs as my holiday appetizer. You will need to make the cheese a day in advance. But if you don’t want to make your cheese, Miyoko Schinner makes a Classic Chive Double Cream Cheese that is divine and you could easily substitute.
Usually, I avoid using vegan “meats” from the grocery store. Typically they are highly processed and contain ingredients that I can’t pronounce. But this Field Roast Farms sausage is made 100% from fresh fruit and vegetables! Crafted from apples, Yukon gold potatoes, onions, garlic, sage, and ginger, it is the perfect “meat” for my vegan meal! If you wish to avoid the sausage, you can easily use diced crimini mushrooms instead! Do be aware this sausage is not gluten free.
Ingredients
Scale
For the roasted acorn squash:
2 large acorn squash
1 tablespoon olive oil
Pinch of salt and black pepper
Pinch of thyme
For the filling:
1 tablespoons olive oil (can use vegetable stock, if oil free)
2 Field Roast Smoked Apple & Sage Sausage links, cases removed and diced
1 large yellow onion, diced
1 1/2 tsp garlic (about 3 cloves)
1 1/2 cup prepared rice (I used white basmati)
1 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried parsley
1 cup herbed vegan goat cheese
¼ teaspoon salt
Pinch of black pepper
½ cup fresh parsley, chopped (plus more for garnish)
½ cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup vegan parmesan (I use Follow Your Heart)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 425° degrees. Wash and dry squash. Slice squash in half from tip to stem and scoop out seeds.
Place the squash halves flesh side up on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and pinch of thyme. Roast flesh side down until almost done, about 25-30 minutes. Remove squash from oven and set aside.
While squash is cooking heat medium size skillet over medium heat. Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil (or stock, if oil free) to pan. Once the oil begins to shimmer add diced onion, sausage, and dried cranberries. Add 1 tsp each thyme, oregano, garlic powder, and parsley. Sauté until onions are translucent and sausage has browned about 6-7 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Add prepared rice. Stir until rice is warmed through.
Remove the skillet from heat and stir in the vegan goat cheese. Season with salt and black pepper.
When done, remove squash from oven and reduce heat to 350°.
Divide mixture between squash halves. Top each squash with vegan parmesan cheese and return to oven. Bake for an additional 30 minutes.
Garnish with fresh parsley. Serve warm.
Notes
The sausage mixture can be made a day ahead and refrigerated.
When I was a kid, I hated eating my greens. The only green things I would eat were canned peas and canned green beans. Kale wasn’t a thing, and I would have rather died than eat Brussels sprouts. I refused to eat broccoli or spinach and never even considered eating collard greens. My mom would make spinach out of a can, and I clearly remember gagging it down. But as it happens with many of us, my green food repertoire grew when I got older, and now I can’t get enough of them! These collards are no exception! I crave them sometimes with a big old piece of cornbread and a glass of wine!
These collards pair very well with black-eyed peas and cornbread for a true southern-style meal! I love the heat of the red pepper flakes and the smokiness of the paprika. They also pair exceptionally well with a nice Sauvignon Blanc! Enjoy!
Collards are cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, brussels sprouts, kale, and cabbage. They are also very nutrient dense! They are high in fiber, iron, calcium, and manganese!
Ingredients
Scale
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 15-oz can of diced fire-roasted tomatoes
2 large bunches of collard greens, stems removed, and leaves very thinly sliced (removing the stems is optional)
2 cups vegetable stock
1 tsp red pepper flakes (optional, but recommended)
Sea salt
2 tablespoons liquid aminos
2 teaspoon smoked paprika + more to taste
Instructions
Warm oil in a dutch oven over medium heat.
Sauté onion until translucent, about 7-8 minutes. Add the garlic, and sauté for about 30 seconds or until fragrant.
Stir in the tomatoes, and simmer for about 3 minutes.
Add the chopped collard greens, 1/2 tsp sea salt, vegetable stock, and red pepper flakes, stir well. Reduce heat to low, and cover. Cook until tender, about 25-30 minutes.
Remove from heat, stir in the liquid aminos and smoked paprika. Season to taste.
Notes
*If you don’t have smoked paprika you can also use 1/8 tsp of liquid smoke.
I love cornbread! I loved my Grandma’s cornbread most of all. But her recipe contained eggs, buttermilk, and wheat flour. I tell ya, being gluten-free and vegan is no easy task! There are so many obstacles to overcome that you either feel like giving up or just settling for the substandard pre-made crap you can find in the grocery store. So with Grandma’s cornbread out of the question. I sat out on the arduous journey of creating my recipe. As many of you gluten-free folks may know, gluten-free can mean dry, chalky, and dense. And on the vegan side of things, no eggs and no buttermilk can mean your bread falls completely apart, or it merely refuses to rise! So, what is a girl to do? After making some delicious banana muffins and using aquafaba in my chocolate chip cookies, I decided to combine the two and make cornbread! The result was the BEST cornbread ever. Sorry, Grandma.
Anyway, this recipe pairs well with my Gumbo, Chili, Black-Eyed Peas with Collard Greens, and it hangs well just by itself! I love to add diced jalapeños to mine! Just be sure to let it cool for at least 5-10 minutes! I hope you enjoy it!
This unbelievable GF vegan cornbread uses aquafaba in place of eggs and Bob’s Red Mill GF flour blend! Simply amazing! The key to this recipe is also using fine grind cornmeal like this one.
Ingredients
Scale
1/3 cup chickpea brine (whipped until fluffy and soft peaks form // aka aquafaba)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (176 C) and lightly grease a standard 9-inch round cake pan or 8×8-inch baking dish and dust with gluten-free flour. Shake out excess and set aside. (I also think you could use an 9-inch cast iron skillet, but it wouldn’t come out as easily and will likely have to be served directly from the pan).
In a liquid measuring cup, measure out non-dairy milk and add vinegar or lemon juice. Set aside.
Add chickpea brine to a medium-mixing bowl and begin whipping until loose peaks form. Then add sugar in a little at a time and beat until the texture is glossy and white and semi-firm peaks form.
Add dry ingredients to a large mixing bowl and whisk to combine. Then add non-dairy milk mixture and oil and whisk once more. Finally, add the whipped chickpea brine (with sugar) and gently whisk/fold in until a thick but pourable batter is formed.
The batter should be thick but pourable. Add more cornmeal or gluten-free flour if too wet or non-dairy milk if too thick.
Add batter to prepared cake pan and bake on a center rack for 25-35 minutes, or until the edges are light golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out completely clean.
Let cool completely in the pan – set on a wire rack to speed cooling process. To remove, run a dull knife around the edge of the cake pan to loosen, then slice and serve. Alternatively, place a plate on top and quickly invert. It will be upside down so flip onto another serving platter to get it right side up.
Notes
*Any good GF flour blend will work. Just make sure that it contains xanthin gum (used as a substitute for wheat gluten) as it is a binder for GF flour.
My cousin Sara and her husband are expecting their first baby! They have both recently dabbled in a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle and said they felt really great! Because they want to continue their journey Sara reached out for some recipes. We talked about how our western plates are the exact same, a meat, a vegetable, and starch. So, what does one do when the meat is not on the plate? We make our veggies come front and center! I hope you love this Sara! Love to all three of you! Can’t wait to see the new bundle!
This, my friends, is the ultimate comfort food. I simply love a good pot pie, and let me tell you this one doesn’t disappoint. The key for me in the one is the pickapeppa sauce. If you’ve never heard of it before it is made from cane vinegar, onions, sugar, tomato paste, sea salt, peppers, raisins, ginger, mango concentrate, cloves, thyme, garlic, black pepper, orange peel. It’s rich and adds a depth of flavor I’ve never seen before. Subsequently, I use it in my vegan gumbo, and it is a game-changer!
The other great thing about a veggie pot pie is that you can use any vegetables that you have on hand! I loved the addition of green beans and parsnips in this recipe! You can make the filling in advance and/or double the filling and freeze the half you don’t use! I also prefer to use fresh herbs if possible!
2 tablespoons coconut oil and 1 tablespoon maple syrup, mixed
Instructions
Preheat oven to 425°.
Heat vegetable stock over medium heat in a large cast-iron skillet. Cook onions, mushrooms, and garlic in stock for 3 to 5 minutes stirring frequently. Stir in carrots, parsnips, potatoes, and celery. If the vegetables begin to stick, add additional stock one tablespoon at a time if needed.
Add spices and cook for 2 minutes. Stir in green beans. Sprinkle the flour over the top of the vegetables and cook 2 minutes, until the white disappears (the vegetables will seem dry). Slowly pour in the milk, adding a few splashes at a time, stirring constantly, scraping any brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Add vegetable stock, soy sauce, and pickapeppa sauce. Bring to a low boil.
Continue to let bubble until thickened, about 3 to 5 minutes, stirring very often and scraping a spatula along the bottom of the pot to prevent sticking. Then turn the heat down and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until vegetables are barely tender. Season with salt and pepper. Remove from heat and let cool for about 5 minutes.
Roll the pie dough into a circle large enough to cover your cast iron pan. Brush the edges of the cast iron with the coconut oil and maple syrup wash, then lay the dough over the top to overhang the sides. Trim the overhang to a 1/2 inch larger than the edge of the pan. Gently press the dough onto the sides of the pan so that it sticks, then brush all over with the remaining wash. With a sharp knife, cut five slits in the top. Carefully place the cast iron in the oven. Bake until the pie is hot and bubbly on the inside, and the crust is deeply golden, about 20 to 25 minutes, rotating the pan 180 degrees F halfway through. Let rest a few minutes. Serve hot.
I’ll be honest. I love cheese. It was, in fact, the most challenging thing for me to give up as a vegan. As a result, I even created and taught a class around the art of vegan cheese making. Years ago, when I first went plant-based, the vegan cheeses at the store always fell flat. The texture was off, and the taste was subpar, at best. Fast forward to now, my friends. I am so happy to say that Daiya has come up with a Farmhouse Style block cheese that is extremely good and quite impressive!
I serve in on my charcuterie boards, and many of my non-vegan friends are amazed at how delicious it is! It looks like cheddar, feels like cheddar, and tastes like cheddar! That said, I had never really used it in a recipe until now! It was everything I’d hoped it would be! It melts exceptionally well and adds a rich depth of creamy goodness! Very pleased, and I think you will be, too! This soup is for you, Lisa G. I hope you like it!
Delicious smoky cheddar beer soup! Serve it in a bread boule, and voila, you are in cheese heaven!
Ingredients
Scale
2 celery ribs, finely chopped
2 carrots, finely chopped
2 medium shallots, finely chopped
1 large jalapeño, seeded and chopped
2 large garlic cloves, minced
⅛ tsp liquid smoke
One 12-ounce bottle lager or pilsner
About 2 1/4 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup plant-based milk
1 package of Daiya Cheddar Farmhouse Style block, coarsely grated
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Bread Boule, for serving
Instructions
In a dutch oven, bring ¼ cup veggie stock to a simmer over medium heat. Add celery, carrots, shallots, and jalapeno, cook until tender, about 7 minutes. Add more stock 1 tbsp at a time, as needed, to prevent sticking. To the dutch oven add the flour and cook over moderate heat, stirring, until lightly browned about 2 minutes. Whisk ½ the beer and all the stock into this roux until incorporated and bring to a simmer. Cook until thickened, about 8 minutes. Add the milk, and cheddar cheese, and the remaining beer and simmer, stirring occasionally, until thick and creamy, about 5 minutes. Blend with an immersion blender, or blend half of the soup in the blender, then add the remaining soup, and blend until smooth. Stir in the liquid smoke and season with salt and pepper. Add a few tablespoons of broth if the soup is too thick. Serve the soup with french bread!
Notes
I used a Belgian style farmhouse ale, and it was delicious! You can use Daiya’s Farmhouse Jalapeño Havarti, or their Smoked Gouda, for this recipe as well.
When my Grandpa Jack was a boy, he spent much time with his grandparents. His grandpa was a man named Joseph. Old Joe came over from Ireland when he was in his 20s. He played a juice harp (harmonica), smoked a corncob pipe, and had such a thick brogue that only a few around him could understand what he was saying! From what I heard, he liked to dance and was quite a character. I would love to have met him! So this recipe is dedicated to his memory!
Traditionally, an Irish stew (aka Guinness Stew) is made with lamb. I used hearty Crimini mushrooms for this recipe, but the Guinness and potatoes still qualify the stew as Irish. Regardless, it is absolutely delicious. Not too heavy but still extremely filling. In southern Ireland, carrots are added, and some cooks venture to add turnips! Enjoy!
This vegan Irish Stew reminds me of being a kid! My mom always made hearty soups and stews this time of year. The savory flavor of this soup is amazing and will warm you to the bones!
Ingredients
Scale
1 onion, diced
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 cups 1/2-inch pieces peeled carrots and/or parsnips (3 to 4 carrots or parsnips)
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 pound whole crimini mushrooms, diced
1/4 cup tomato paste
10 oz bag frozen peas
1 8oz. Guinness stout
4 cupsEdward & Sons Not-Beef Natural Bouillon Stock (or use vegetable stock)
3 medium russet potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks
2 bay leaves
1 tablespoon vegan Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground pepper
4 tablespoons cornstarch or arrowroot powder** See note
3 tablespoons water (to make a thickening slurry)
fresh parsley for garnish
Instructions
Warm a Dutch Oven over medium heat. Add onions and saute onions in a few tablespoons of water until onions begin to soften.
Add chopped celery, carrots/parsnips – saute for 6-7 minutes or until soft. Add garlic and cook until fragrant. About 30 seconds.
Clean mushrooms and medium dice, add mushrooms and peas to the pot, and cook for 3-4 minutes, or until they begin to soften and lightly brown.
Stir in tomato paste and add the stout. Stir well and simmer for 1-2 minutes. Add stock and potatoes.
Add Worcestershire sauce and seasonings, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cover. Simmer 20-30 minutes or until potatoes are cooked through.
Mix cornstarch and water. Bring stew to a strong simmer and stir the slurry into the stew to thicken. Stir well. Garnish with fresh parsley and peas, if desired.
Notes
**I like a thick stew, so I used 4 tablespoons. If you don’t want it thick, reduce corn starch to 3 tablespoons.
This soup has long been a family favorite. It is my go-to soup when someone is sick, or if I want to make a soup on the fly, I always have all of the ingredients on hand. Starting with the holy trinity (carrots, onion, and celery), I finish the soup using curly kale vs. the flat Lacinato or dinosaur kale. But if you don’t like kale, feel free to use spinach or cabbage in its place.
It’s the perfect winter soup because it’s rich in fiber, but not calorically dense making it ideal for the less active chilly days ahead.
The recipe also makes a big batch so that you’ll have plenty left over for lunches throughout the week, or you can freeze the rest for a rainy day. Enjoy!
In a large soup pot, heat olive oil over medium heat.
Stir in carrots, celery, and onion, Season with sea salt & fresh pepper and stir well. Cook until softened, stirring occasionally, for 5-7 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
Stir in zucchini, tomatoes, smoked paprika, oregano, basil, and thyme, and cook for another minute or so, stirring frequently.
Stir in beans and stock and simmer on medium-low for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally and adding more water (I add up to 2 cups of water) as needed
Stir in kale and parsley, remove from heat and let sit for five minutes covered to wilt the kale
Serve warm
Notes
If you don’t have kale or aren’t a fan, you can swap kale for spinach.
Use organic vegetable stock for more depth of flavor.
Store soup in a sealed container in the refrigerator for 3-5 days, or freeze.
Last night my husband had a zoom client meeting that included a wine tasting from Napa Valley. The manager of Amizetta winery in Napa (St. Helena, to be exact) walked them through two wines. My job was to make a great meal that would pair well with a bold Cabernet and a Merlot. The first thing that came to mind, of course, was portobello mushrooms! These steaky mushrooms are versatile and hold up well to the deep complexity of the cabernet and the soft tannins of the merlot. So yummy! I couldn’t decide between creamy polenta or polenta cakes, so I made both.
Mushrooms:
1 tbsp olive oil
1 pound portobello mushrooms, sliced to ¼” slices
1 medium onion, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
2 tsp garlic, minced
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp basil
½ tsp red pepper flakes
1 bunch spinach, roughly chopped
½ cup red wine
Salt and pepper to taste
Polenta:
I used a store-bought San Gennaro Polenta, a traditional Italian
1 cup vegetable stock
2 tbsp nutritional yeast
Warm medium skillet over medium heat and add olive oil. Once the oil has heated and begins to shimmer, add onion and bell pepper. Saute until the onion is translucent, about 8 minutes. Remove pepper/onion mixture from pan and add to a mixing bowl. If necessary, add more oil and then add mushrooms and spices to the pan. Saute for about 5-7 minutes. Deglaze the pan with the red wine, and add salt and pepper. Add spinach and cook until spinach has wilted. Add pepper/onion mixture to pan and heat through until warm.
Polenta:
While the mushrooms are cooking, crumble ½ of polenta into a saucepan and add vegetable stock and nutritional yeast. Simmer over medium heat until most of the stock has evaporated, and the polenta is smooth. I used a potato masher to help break down the polenta. Take the other half of the polenta and slice into ¼” pieces and add to a well oiled warmed skilled. Cook for about 3-4 minutes per side or until sufficiently browned.
To plate: Add creamy polenta to a plate, top with browned polenta slices, then top with the mushroom mixture—salt and pepper to taste.
It is no secret that our educational system here in the US is far behind its peers. Our investments in healthcare and education have not only fallen short, but they have also fallen short to our detriment. We are ranked 27th in the world, both in health and education. We are 38th out of 71 countries when it comes to math scores and 24th when it comes to science. While countries like Finland, Iceland, Denmark, and the Netherlands currently lead the way, the US continues to fall behind consistently. If the government does not like spending money on education, does that mean should just settle for living in a society where knowledge and power are only afforded by the rich? Suffering of course are the anxious poor wanting more of what they rich have, yet always receiving less? I suppose this is the curse of capitalism, but that is a topic for another day.
Under Trump’s tutelage, the current head (cough, cough) of the Department of Education Betsy Devos, supported $5.6 billion in cuts from its fiscal budget. Thankfully he backed away from his attempt to cut federal aid for the Special Olympics program. But I guess it was a little harder to sneak that one past. Sneak past whom. I’m not sure. Education and healthcare are not topics much-lamented over here in the US.
I don’t want to bash a broken educational system. But like our healthcare system, I no longer wish to be a part of it. This year, with the help of a dedicated community of self-educators, I will begin the academic instruction of my children. Now, this may sound like a lofty aspiration, or even a slow descent into madness; either way, I have no reservations about my decision. I do not want my children happily educated in the middle of a substandard bell curve, so they can graduate and be chewed up and swallowed into the belly of a capitalistic beast.
On our way to dinner the other evening, we saw a woman standing on the side of the road with a broken-down minivan. She looked tired and hot, maybe about twenty-five years old. She had taken her baby out of the warm car and sat her carrier on an even hotter concrete, while a two-year-old boy was making a run for it every time she turned her back. We passed by, and without a word, my husband circled back around. When we got to her, she was sobbing. It turns out she was a single mom living at a weekly rental motel. She had reached her limit. She was not just crying; she was sobbing. The weight of her life was taking its toll. The weight of driving across the state with no air conditioning, crying babies in the back seat, and just enough gas from her step-dad to get them home took its toll. Well, almost home. She was grateful, embarrassed, tired, scared, on her last leg. I don’t think I’ll ever forget her. Her greatest sin? She was poor and likely “uneducated” poor. She was trapped. And I can’t help but recoil knowing that we are considered a modern industrialized society. Imagine the poor, illiterate women in developing countries; it’s mindboggling.
But man, or woman, poverty and lack of education are conscious means of control. My mom always used to say, “they can take the house, or your car, they can even take your life, but they can’t take your education.” Not exactly sure who “they” are…so we’ll call them “the man!” But she was correct. Education teaches literature, math, science; this is true. A well-rounded, solid education should also teach you to think for yourself, to question everything, not to believe everything you hear or see, to examine and reflect upon everything. That will be my goal here on my homeschool page, to be the teacher and the student.
I am looking forward to this new journey.
Here is another summer soup for your palate! Like a traditional vichyssoise, this soup can be served either hot or cold. It is so rich and satisfying it definitely leaves you wanting more! You’re welcome.
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 1 onion, diced 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 head cauliflower, cored and chopped (about 7 cups) 1 (16-ounce) cans of white beans, drained and rinsed (cannellini, great northern, or navy) 1 medium potato, peeled and chopped into 1/2-inch pieces 1/2 cup white wine (optional) ½ tsp onion powder 1 tsp Dijon mustard 1/2 tsp nutmeg 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper 4 cups low-sodium vegetable broth 1 cup non-dairy milk of your choice (I used full fat coconut milk) White truffle oil Chopped chives for garnish, hazelnuts, sriracha or other hot sauce, microgreens (all optional)
Instructions
Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and sauté until soft, about 3 minutes. Add the cauliflower, beans, potatoes, mustard, and spices, except salt and pepper. Stir well coating all ingredients. Cook for about 1 minute. Add wine to deglaze the pan. Add vegetable broth, salt, and pepper and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, cover, and simmer until the cauliflower is completely tender about 20 minutes. Remove the pot from the heat and stir in the plant-based milk. Puree the soup with an immersion blender (or in batches in a regular blender). Transfer the soup to the refrigerator and chill. Drizzle soup with truffle oil, add a few drops of sriracha, hazelnuts, and sprinkle with the chives/microgreens, before serving.
This is one of my most favorite meals. Not only does it check all the healthy boxes the combination of flavors is out of sight! The great thing about this bowl is that it can be made an infinite number of ways. I usually always have pickled veggies and fresh spouts on hand so they made an easy and flavorful addition to what might otherwise be a basic Buddha Bowl. Roasted Cauliflower is my most favorite addition to any bowl and with the sweet pickled onions and creamy hummus, well, sufficed to say it was my favorite meal of the week!
2 cups sangria tomatoes (grape will work too) sliced on the bias
1 cucumber sliced
1 (15.5 oz) can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
1 (7 oz) jar of sundried tomatoes, sliced into matchsticks
1 cup pickled red onions
Hummus (homemade or store-bought)
1 cup sprouts (alfalfa, or microgreens)
2 tsp cumin
2 tsp smoked paprika
2 tsp garlic powder
1.5 tsp sea salt
2 Tbsp organic extra virgin olive oil
Pepper, to taste
Sunflower Seeds (pepitas work, too!)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 400°F.
Slice cauliflower into 1″ pieces, add to large mixing bowl. Drain tofu and cut into 1″ cubes, add to cauliflower. Slice tomatoes on the bias (I like to use multi-colored tomatoes for presentation) and add to the cauliflower-tofu mixture. Combine cumin, paprika, garlic powder, salt, and pepper in a small mixing bowl, reserving 2 tsp of spice mix in a separate bowl. Coat mixture with 2 Tbsp of olive oil, stir well making sure all pieces are coated, add spices, and stir. Add tofu, cauliflower, and tomatoes to a parchment-lined baking sheet. Roast for 25 minutes, turning mixture at halfway point.
When vegetables are done, divide all ingredients, except sprouts and hummus, between 4 bowls. Add hummus to the center of each bowl, and sprinkle with the remaining spice mix. Garnish each bowl with sunflower seeds and sprouts. Enjoy!
For as long as I can remember Summer meant splashing around at the lake, drinking lemonade, and eating my weight in watermelon. So when a friend of mine told me about a watermelon soup with jalapeno she had somewhere down in Florida, I immediately went to work! After making at least a half-dozen recipes, I finally figured it out! This magical soup is not only a favorite of mine, everyone who tries it, asks for the recipe! So, my friends…here you go!
1 red onion roughly chopped (reserve 2 Tbsp for garnish)
1 red bell pepper, cored and roughly chopped (reserve 2 Tbsp for garnish)
1 cucumber, roughly chopped (reserve 2 Tbsp for garnish)
1 jalapeno, seeds removed, chopped
4 Roma tomatoes cored, roughly chopped (reserve 2 Tbsp for garnish)
4 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves roughly chopped (can sub 2 Tbsp dry basil)
1 Tbsp fresh dill weed (garnish)
Salt and Pepper, to taste
Directions:
In a blender puree the tomatoes, jalapeno, bell pepper and 1/2 the watermelon. Add cider vinegar, olive oil, and pulse. Add the onion, cucumber, remaining watermelon, and basil, puree until smooth. Salt and Pepper to taste! Chill for 1 hour and serve.
Combine and garnish with reserved onion, bell pepper, cucumber, tomatoes and fresh dill.
One of my favorite sauces is Bolognese. It’s simple, delicious, and reminds me of one of my favorite meals growing up. This meat-free version is made from ground mushrooms and is ready in about 30 minutes.
In a food processor, pulse the onion, carrot, celery, garlic, and mushrooms until finely chopped. In a large pan warmed over medium heat, add oil, or 2 Tbsp water, if not using oil. Add the vegetables, season with basil, oregano, and cook over moderate heat until softened, 20 minutes. Add 1 Tbsp of water, or stock, as needed, to prevent sticking.
Add the wine, salt, and red pepper; and stir. Cook until the wine evaporates. About 3-4 minutes.
Add the cream, rosemary, and 1/4 cup of grated vegan cheese and simmer for 5 minutes.
At this point, you can either add warm pasta, and 1 cup of water to the sauce and toss, stirring until the pasta is well-coated, or stuff shells and top with remaining creme sauce. Serve.
To quote the late great Marvin Gaye, “Oh, things ain’t what they used to be, no, no. Oil wasted on the oceans, and upon our seas, fish full of mercury.” “What about this overcrowded land? How much more abuse from man can she stand?” Gaye wrote the lyrics for this iconic song in 1971, the year I was born. This song which came out nearly 50 years ago, could have easily been written about our world today. Marvin Gaye is one of my favorite poets and modern-day soothsayers. Through his music, he advocated not just for the rights of his black brothers and sisters, but for all people, and for the planet. Gaye wrote about things like discrimination, hate, division–the themes of countless generations. But he also spoke of hope, acceptance, love, and unity. I think it’s cool that throughout history many cultural revolutions have been played out through music. I am a proud product of this generation–born to learn from the mistakes of those who came before me and to speak my mind.
That said, as a staunch advocate of veganism, I have been accused a time or two of being self-righteous. But self-righteous people believe they are morally superior and often speak in terms of unfounded certainties. In other words, they espouse their own “self-serving” versions of the truth. That is not me, nor my intention. The truths I speak of have been scientifically proven over and over again. These laws of nature are predictable, measurable, and, as it seems–inevitable. But I have learned to be careful when I speak because sometimes passion can be mistaken for preaching. So, I will do my best to walk the line.
I have written before about the carnage of modern-day animal agriculture, an industry whose practices are protected by “AgGag Laws.” The Agricultural Gag Laws are designed to silence whistleblowers who reveal animal abuses on industrial farms. Ag-gag laws currently exist in seven states, penalizing whistleblowers who investigate the day-to-day activities of industrial farms. (1). In my state of Missouri, whistleblowing has been criminalized. In other words, if someone exposes the truth of any atrocity, they can be prosecuted and penalized. The State legislature and the lobbyist behind them believe that these “truths” can be damaging to corporate interests and their profits.
Organizations like the ASPCA and PETA who make it their mission to expose these inhumane practices are often villainized by the mainstream who believe that abusing a cat or dog is horrifying but are unwilling to take action when it comes to the horrors suffered by agricultural animals. Part of this is cognitive dissonance is due to societal conditioning; we do things because that’s the way everyone does it, but also because the atrocities and abuse in our food system are hidden away.
This abuse leads me to my next point, the conditions that are causing the suffering of these animals. To quote journalist Michael Pollan, “Were the walls of our meat industry to become transparent, literally or even figuratively, we would not long continue to raise, kill, and eat animals the way we do.” I read his book “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” four years ago and have used it as a reference point for many of my meat-eating friends who have questions about my choice to be a vegan. Before reading Pollan’s book, I had watched a documentary called Food, Inc. Prior to becoming a vegan, I had never given much thought to where my food came from. But once I learned where it came from I was appalled. It became my mission to learn as much as I could and to teach others. I am not going to go into all of that because I already have in previous posts here, but suffice to say what we are going through now, is no surprise to me.
Covid-19 has been referred to as the Wuhan Flu after being traced to a wet market in Wuhan China. These wet food markets sell live animals, without much, if any regulation. Like many other zoonic diseases like Mad-Cow, Swine Flu, Ebola, they are given their names from the animals or areas where they originated. These diseases are passed from animals to humans due to things like “Habitat erosion, which may be one of the biggest factors in how viruses have begun breaking down the walls between us and the animals that originally carried them.” And the most common way they initially transfer to us through our modern-day food system. “It’s the handling that comes before eating — the killing, skinning, and butchering — that is highly risky.” (3)
But that’s China. Just because we don’t have wet markets here in the US doesn’t mean that we don’t get sick from our food here. Currently, there is an outbreak of fatal bird flu in South Carolina that has people worried statewide about the low pathogenic disease, which has mutated into the more severe version and can be transmitted from “species to species.” For years in neighboring Duplin County, North Carolina, where 20% of people who live within a half-mile of a pig or poultry farm have asthma, mucous membrane irritation, respiratory conditions, reduced lung function, and acute blood pressure elevation. Statewide about 900,000 or 10% of the population lives within 3 miles of such farms. And as it often does, it seems to affect mostly minorities and the poor.
In a 2017 article, The Guardian reported that researchers from the University of North Carolina revealed that most of the state’s industrial hog operations disproportionately affect African Americans, Hispanics, and Native Americans, a pattern, that “is generally recognized as environmental racism.” “They (corporations) fill massive lagoons with [waste], and they take that lagoon stuff and spray it over fields,” said US Senator Cory Booker in recalling a trip to North Carolina late last year. “I watched it mist off of the property of these massive pig farms into black communities. And these African American communities are like, ‘We’re prisoners in our own home.’ The biggest company down there [Smithfield] is a Chinese-owned company, and so they’ve poisoned black communities, land value is down, abhorrent … This corporation is outsourcing its pain, its costs, on to poor black people in North Carolina.”
Former NC State Representative Rep. John Blust in a general assembly meeting called out his colleagues for protecting big business by “passing amendments to prevent anyone who lived more than a half-mile from the source of an alleged nuisance from suing. The law prohibits lawsuits filed more than a year after the farm begins operation or undergoes “a fundamental change” and bar punitive damages unless the farm operator had been convicted of a crime or civil enforcement action for violations related to the alleged nuisance. (4) Blust went on to say that the legislation “shields “one giant corporation” from individual neighbors who have legitimate concerns about the stench, the flies, the buzzards, and the dried remains of sprayed and liquefied hog excrement that coated their houses. Blust and his constituents lost as the bill was ultimately rushed through to avoid debate and amendments.
We have reached a frightening precipice in time, a global crossroads if you will. With recent news reports of groceries seeing meat shortages by the end of the week due to hundreds of Covid-19 outbreaks in meatpacking plants, there will likely be a mad rush to buy up the current supply. If this happens, millions will be forced to find their protein sources from other means. I hope that people will realize what some of us have known all along, ware designed to eat plants. Just because we have evolved to eat meat, doesn’t mean we should. Plants are not only a sustainable resource for human consumption, but they are a viable resource for our planet. Every day I eat the bounty of the plant world, and I am neither hungry or dissatisfied. I am healthy and happy. In the last week, I have had two people reach out to me, wanting me to know that I had helped change their perspective. They are both moving toward veganism. I hope that those two will help two more, who will help two more. Epidemiologists, climate scientists, and countless others have shown through scientific modeling that we don’t make a significant shift and continue to make the same mistakes over and over again; it will eventually lead to our demise. That would be awful. Finally, I am reminded of this great parable I’ve heard for years.
“The Drowning Man.”
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
St. Louis is known for many things: the Arch, Budweiser Beer, Chuck Berry, Bob Costas, and Joe and Jack Buck. We are second only to the New York Yankees for the most World Series wins, we are the current Stanley Cup winners (Go Blues!), and former home to the Super Bowl Champion, St. Louis Rams. Yo, Kurt Warner! And we eat things that nobody else has ever heard of outside of St. Louis, like toasted ravioli, gooey butter cake, and the slinger.
The area in the Lou famously referred to as “The Hill” is home to baseball greats Yogi Berra and Joe Garagiola. It is also home to our beloved toasted ravioli. As the story goes, a fresh ravioli fell into the fryer at a place called Mama Campisi’s on a day when Joe Garagiola was there. After this fateful event, these little pieces of fried heaven allegedly began appearing on menus around town. Served with a warm marinara sauce, all I can say is, sono così deliziosi!
The Gooey Buttercake, another St. Louis favorite, also came about by accident. Although nothing like a traditional cake, this chewy goodness is part coffeecake and part gooey custard. And if you’ve ever had a piece, you know how sinfully delicious it is. Some say that in the 1930s a baker mistakenly mixed up their ingredients for a traditional coffee cake and voila. Accident, or fate? You be the judge!
And finally, our favorite of the three, “The Slider.” A meal best appreciated and usually served between the hours of midnight and 3:00 AM, at places like the “Eat Rite” diner near Busch stadium, the Slider is essentially anything you want it to be. Yep, it’s that post-drinking, pre-pass out frankenfood that has become a right of passage for those who dare tread in our waters. The basic version is hash browns, eggs, and a hamburger patty smothered in chili, then topped with cheese and chopped onions, and it will leave you feeling a bit dizzy and crying fire in the hole the next day! But the best part of any slinger is it can be any combination of your favorite foods slapped on top of each other and consumed in relatively short order. We prefer to make a healthier vegan version that will not only leave you feeling satisfied, it’s also a great way to finish off all of those leftovers!
Our slinger begins with a basic Tofu Scramble from The Minimalist Baker, which we cook for about 8 minutes before adding a half pack of Trader Joe’s Vegan Chorizo. Made from soy and only a few other natural ingredients, their chorizo tastes just like its traditional counterpart, but without all of the disgusting greasiness. We layer scramble with hashbrowns or roasted potatoes, and then garnish with salsa, avocados, cilantro, hot sauce, 1/4 cup of vegan gravy, or my favorite Cashew Queso! In this picture, I also added a delicious vegan Chili Colorado. You’re welcome.
When I got sick a few years ago, I knew that western medicine would not offer me much in the way of actual healing. Having been a follower of ancient Chinese medicine for years (thank you, Bill Moyers, for “Healing and the Mind”), I knew the powers of acupuncture, and Chinese herbs, the importance of balancing the Chi, and of course, the meditative practices of Buddhist Yoga. But after listening to hundreds of podcasts by a naturopathic doctor, Dr. Stephen Cabral, I began researching the ancient practice of medicine from India called Ayurveda. I have adopted the practices of both cultures and believe this is the path to true healing.
Chinese, and Indian Ayurvedic medicine, are the two most commonly practiced forms of traditional medicine in Asia. Both share a similar holistic approach—treating the person as a whole vs. treating just a symptom or set of symptoms. Philosophically, however, they are very different from each other. Ayurvedic medicine takes a constitution-based approach, i.e., individuals are born with different traits and characteristics that are unchanging. When their constitution (dosha) is out of balance, it creates a set of symptoms that, if left unchecked, can lead to “dis-ease.” Chinese medicine treats what they call ch’i or qi in the body. Ch’i is a vital energy that connects to all of your organs and their function. It also uses an aggregate of healing modalities, which includes acupuncture, Chinese herbal therapy, massage, dietary therapy, Tai Chi, and Qi Gong. It is ultimately based on Taoist philosophy. I will write more in-depth about Chinese medicine in a future post, but for now, let’s talk about Ayurveda.
Ayurvedic medicine emphasizes the three doshas or biological energies found throughout the human body and mind. They believe that doshas govern all physical and mental processes and provide every living being with an individual blueprinting for health and fulfillment. These doshas are called Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Your constitution, or dosha, is determined at the time of conception. Much like the color of your eyes, or the size of your stature, your composition is unchanging. While we have all three doshas in our bodies, we each have a dominant dosha, which cannot be changed. Once a Vata, always a Vata. Let’s begin.
Kapha governs all structure and lubrication in the mind and body. It controls weight, growth, lubrication for the joints and lungs, and the formation of all the seven tissues — nutritive fluids, blood, fat, muscles, bones, marrow, and reproductive tissues. Therefore Kapha controls our lymphatic system. Even in the desert parts of the country, winter is relatively damp and cold, with spurts of snow, ice, or freezing rain. These elements create a similar reaction within the body to accumulate Kapha, particularly avalambaka Kapha (Kapha housed in the respiratory system). We feel the results as we blow our noses and cough through winter.
For me, winter means puffy eyes, and puffy eyes can be a clue your lymph fluid is getting sluggish. Other signs of an “increased” Kapha (when a particular dosha is present in higher than average proportions, it is increased, aggravated, or excess state) can be sluggishness, swelling, higher than normal blood pressure, and excessive phlegm. So what can we do? Exercise!
It turns out lymph vessels are squeezed by your muscles when you move. Therefore, exercise plays a vital role in lymphatic fluid circulation. Deep breathing exercises can also benefit the flow of lymphatic fluid because of the pressure deep breathing creates in the chest and abdominal cavities, along with the contractions of the diaphragm and abdominal muscles.
Lymphatic Yoga: neck motion – slowly lift your chin to the ceiling and look up while inhaling slowly; bring it down, slow exhalation, and look at the heart (Repeat 3X). Bring your head to a neutral position. Turn your head to the right and look over the shoulder far behind you, the same to the left (3X). Shoulder motion – breathe in, slowly lift your shoulders to the ceiling, exhale with a sigh and let them go down (Repeat 5X).
Other ways to balance your Kapha:
Breathe deeply and slowly for at least 10 min daily.
Drink plenty of water.
Reduce your daily salt intake.
Reduce your alcohol intake.
Vata dosha governs body movement, the nervous system’s activities, and the process of elimination. Vata translates into “That Which Moves Things,” regulating anything related to movement, such as breathing, talking, nerve impulses, shifts in the muscles and tissues, circulation, assimilation of food, elimination, urination, and menstruation. Vata is often called the “King of the Doshas” since it governs the body’s greater life force and gives motion to Kapha (“That Which Sticks”) and Pitta, the third and final dosha (“That Which Cooks”).
I am Vata dominant, and wintertime is my most challenging time. Vata’s love warm climates and warm food. They have high energy (bordering on hyper) and have difficulty saying no. A Vata responds to stress with fear, and because their mind is continuously moving, Savasana in Yoga (a time of extreme silence) is the most challenging part of Yoga! Vata’s are quick to learn, usually fast talkers, and tire quickly because they try to do 1000 things at once. If Vata’s are out of balance, it’s because they have exceeded the limits of their energy. They can sometimes become anxious and can’t sleep. Vata dosha is closely connected to the root chakra, which is responsible for grounding and bringing a sense of wholeness and happiness. Ground through Yoga and exercise can be pretty helpful.
Ways to balance Vata:
Eat naturally sweet, salty, and sour foods, avoiding junk food, excessive salt, and processed sugars.
Follow a fixed routine and avoid too many different, frenetic activities. Bedtime, waking time, meal time, and exercise time should be the same daily.
Stay warm, calm, and relaxed with hot baths, warm oil massages, steam and heat treatments, and soothing music.
Pitta derives from the elements Fire and Water and translates as “that which cooks.” It is the energy of digestion and metabolism and energy production in the body that functions through the carrier substances such as organic acids, hormones, enzymes, and bile.
The central locations of Pitta in the body are the small intestines, stomach, liver, spleen, pancreas, blood, eyes, and sweat. Physiologically, Pitta provides the body with heat and energy by breaking down complex food molecules. The primary function of Pitta is transformation. Those with a predominance of the Pitta principle have a fiery nature that manifests in both body and mind.
Qualities of Pitta:
• Hot
• Light
• Intense
• Penetrating
• Pungent
• Sharp
• Acidic
Pittas doshas are usually of medium size and weight. They sometimes have bright red hair, but baldness or thinning hair is also typical in a Pitta. They have excellent digestion, which sometimes leads them to believe they can eat anything.
An aggravated Pitta causes problems related to excessive heat and acidity in the mind and body, such as acid indigestion, diarrhea, anger, fever, hot flashes, infections, and rashes.
To balance Pitta:
Enjoy exercise, but avoid getting over-heated or too embroiled in competitive sports.
Keep cool. Avoid hot temperatures and food.
Walking in nature, especially by bodies of water or in the shade of mature trees, Yoga, swimming, skiing, cycling, etc., are good choices.
Favor cooking with cooling spices like fennel, coriander, cardamom, and turmeric. Coconut oil and olive oil are also good.
Avoid chili peppers, vinegar, alcohol, tobacco, caffeinated beverages, and chocolate.
Get to bed before 10 PM.
Moderation; don’t overwork.
Allow for leisure time.
Regular mealtimes, especially lunch at noon.
In sports nutrition, the doshas are very similar to the endomorph, ectomorph, and mesomorph body types, as you will see below.
• Vatas are energizer bunnies that love to move. They are most similar to the Ectomorph body type.
• Pittas are natural athletes. They are comparable to the Mesomorph body type.
• Kaphas are most like the Endomorph body type.
Due to many factors in our environments like weather, seasons, lifestyle choices, and diet, the most dominant dosha tends to become imbalanced, but any Dosha can also become imbalanced. These imbalances create a secondary, “current” state, known as Vikriti, which results from inadequately supporting our natural constitution (Prakriti). We push ourselves off balance by continually eating foods or adopting habits that are not suited to us — primarily by exposing ourselves to more of the Doshic energies that we already have. Suppose we are experiencing imbalance symptoms, such as bloating, rashes, spots, hot flushes, itchy skin, sore gums, gassiness, tummy upsets, lousy temper, tiredness, or anxiety. In that case, our Vikriti is way off from our Prakriti. These signs that our mind-body is off-kilter, if left unchecked, lead to disease down the road.
In summary, the doshas are dynamic energies that constantly change in response to our actions, thoughts, emotions, foods, seasons, and other sensory inputs that feed our mind and body. When we live in the fulfillment of our natures, we naturally make lifestyle and dietary decisions that foster balance within our doshas. But when we live against our intrinsic nature, we tend to support unhealthy patterns that lead to physical and mental imbalances. In my next blog post, I will discuss some ways to re-balance your doshas and explore some of the themes of traditional Chinese medicine.
Thank you, Stephen Cabral, ND, for the passion and knowledge that you share so freely and lovingly.
After Mexican food, Thai food, and Indian food vie for second as my most favorite food. A few weeks ago my husband ordered a Veg Manchurian from our favorite Indian restaurant. It was delicious, but it was waaaaay too SPICY. I got the hiccups and couldn’t feel my tongue after 7 bites. Maybe it’s just my western palate, but I would have enjoyed it so much more if it lost some of its heat. So I decided to dive headfirst into Indian cooking! The ingredients sound complex, but it really is ALL about the spices. After perusing many a dozen recipes (both North and South Indian) I realized that most of the spices in this recipe are universally Indian/Middle Eastern, and by adding them to my pantry, I opened up a whole new world (or at least a dozen countries worth) of food!
Aloo Gobi is a simple dish made from cauliflower and potatoes. There are generally two kinds of Aloo Gobi, one made with onions and tomatoes, and one without. I love both, but this one is my favorite…mostly because I envisioned eating it over creamy coconut curried lentils! I added chickpeas or “chana” to bump the protein and it was delicious!
•1 medium head of cauliflower, cut into small florets
•1 14 oz. can chickpeas (chana)
•2 Tbsp Olive Oil
•2 tsp. ground cumin
•2 tsp. ground turmeric
•1 tsp. ground coriander
•¾ tsp garam masala
•¾ tsp dried fenugreek leaves
•¾ tsp amchur (dry mango powder)
•1 Tbsp. minced ginger
•1 Tbsp. minced garlic
•Pinch of asafetida (optional, but really great)
•Pinch of cayenne (adjust according to preference)
•1 tsp. (or more) kosher salt
•1 Tbsp. (or more) fresh lime juice
•½ cup chopped cilantro
Instructions
1. Chop the cauliflower into small florets and put in large bowl.
2. Chop the potatoes into 1” cubes and add to the bowl.Add drained, rinsed chickpeas.
3. Mix spices until well combined. Remove Add spices to the vegetable mix; toss to coat.
4. Add olive oil, minced ginger, and garlic, to the bowl and toss well.
5. Let the vegetable mix sit for a minute or two.
6.Spread mixture in a large stoneware or 3” ceramic baking dish.
7. Bake at 400° F (204 C) for 20 mins, then cover with parchment and bake for another 15 mins or until tender. Taste and adjust salt and spices accordingly. Garnish with fresh cilantro, a dash of turmeric, and lime juice. And serve hot with any Indian bread.
The other day, my neighbor came over for coffee. She seemed a bit down and told me she was thinking about running. She said she wanted to feel better about her body, and thought losing some weight might help her feel better about herself.
She had never run before and wanted to pick my brain.
I smiled and said, “Go put on some running shoes and run. Don’t overthink it. Just go. Don’t worry about how fast you are, how far you go, or how many times you stop to catch your breath. Just run.”
I remember when I couldn’t run a quarter mile without stopping. Now, I can run a full six miles without rest. And it didn’t happen because I downloaded the perfect training plan. I started simply—by putting one foot in front of the other.
But I also told her this: “It’s not the weight you lose from running that will change how you feel about yourself. Weight loss is an extrinsic motivator—and that’s the kind that makes people quit. Don’t run to be a size two. Run to be consistent. Dedicated. Persistent.That’swhat will make you feel proud.”
Change your vernacular, and you can change your life.
Like yoga, running has become a form of moving meditation for me. It quiets my mind. I focus solely on my breath and let go of everything else. When I hit my stride, it’s like I could run forever. It’s the same feeling I get when I sink into a deep asana, like pigeon, and stay there for a while.
It’s the best feeling in the world.
Bad mood? Anxiety? Creative block? I run. Or I flow. And by the time I’m done, all is well again.
When I look back over the last year—hell, the last decade—I feel proud. I’ve accomplished things I never thought I could. I’ve gained and learned so much. I’ve lost things, too. I’ve watched certain dreams go up in smoke. But that’s life.
The “one foot in front of the other” mentality has served me well… until now.
Lately, I’ve felt fearful and uncertain about some big things. And the truth is, I’m not even sure why. My life hasn’t changed much. But maybe that’sexactlywhy.
The Buddha said,“There is no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires.”
I get it. I want more.
But thinking about the future sometimes paralyzes me. The Buddha also said,“Overthinking is the greatest cause of unhappiness.”
So maybe the answer is silence.
Maybe I’ll slow down and give silent meditation a try.
Or maybe I’ll just go for a longer run. 😊
Either way—Happy New Year, and Happy New Decade.
May you be abundantly blessed, and may you get back all that you give.
Seek out joy—it’s always there, waiting for you.
Find peace in any given moment.
Do the hard, scary things.
Grow abundantly.
The other day my oldest daughter was craving tomato soup. I had to admit it sounded really good to me too. Grilled cheese and tomato soup is the best! Of course, her version was a can you throw in the microwave, and mine was, well…this.
Heat olive oil in a heavy-bottomed pot, over medium-low heat. When the pot is hot, add onions and cook for 6 to 8 minutes, until the onions are soft. Stir often and add 1 TBSP stock or water if needed, to keep the onions from burning.
Add tomatoes, including the liquid, and stock. Add tomato paste, dried oregano, dried basil, paprika, and a pinch of kosher salt. Raise the heat to medium and bring everything to boil. Let the soup simmer for 8 to 10 minutes. Turn off heat. Let the soup cool off for 5 minutes before transferring to a blender to blend. (I blend a little more than half of the mixture and leave the rest for a bit for texture).
Return soup to pot and stir in coconut milk or cream.
Serve in bowls with black pepper, minced basil leaves, nutritional yeast, and a swirl of cashew cream, if you’d like.
For Thanksgiving one year, my aunt in New Orleans served a pumpkin soup from a wonderful little restaurant in Abita Springs, LA. I had never had pumpkin soup before and was excited to try it. Not only did I love it, but I immediately came home and tried to recreate it.
The sautéed onions are what make this soup shine. They lend a rich umami flavor and a subtle sweetness. The smoky cumin and spicy cayenne pepper balance out the sweetness and kick it up a notch! Deglazing the pan several times with vegetable stock also helps build the flavor. If you’re a die-hard and don’t want to use canned pumpkin, then you’ll want at least a 4-pound sugar pie pumpkin, peeled, seeded, and diced—roast at 400° for 25 minutes, or until fork-tender.
You can store leftovers in an air-tight container in the fridge for up to 5 days or a freezer-safe container for two months. If you make the soup, be sure to leave a comment below and let me know how you liked it!
Add onions, stir until onions become translucent and begin to stick. Add ½ cup stock and stir to deglaze the pan. Once stock begins to evaporate, add spices, and stir.
Cook for 1-2 minutes, add garlic and ginger.
Cook for 30 seconds and add remaining vegetable stock, stir to deglaze pan again.
Add coconut cream and pumpkin puree. Stir well and simmer for 15-20 minutes.
Taste for spices, and adjust according to your preference. (I added a bit more salt and a little more thyme.)
One of my favorite things in the whole world used to be Qdoba’s Tortilla Soup. I loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it. However, when I looked up the ingredients, I was astonished! It tasted so simple and delicious. There were a ton of preservatives and an ungodly amount of salt. I never would have imagined that it was so processed! So when it came time to develop my menu for a Mexican cooking class at the Conservatory…I knew what I was going to do. This version is delicious, clean, and a perfect “Welcome to Fall” soup!
Lay the jackfruit on a clean kitchen towel and pat dry. Using your fingers, press the jackfruit chunks and pull apart into large shreds. Set aside.
On medium heat:
Add leeks and garlic to large soup pot. Sauté in veggie broth, until softened
Add Bell Peppers and Chipotle Peppers, and simmer until softened
Add Jackfruit
Add all spices and stir well. Sauté for 2-3 minutes
Add Salsa
Add Tomatoes (with juice)
Add Veggie Broth, and deglaze pan
Bring to a simmer and stir well*
Drain beans and add to pot
Cover, and simmer on low, or until heated through, about 15-20 minutes.
Tortilla Strips
Preheat oven to 375° degrees
Cut Corn Tortillas into 1/2″ wide strips
Add strips to a plastic bag or paper sack and toss with 1/2 tsp each: chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, garlic salt etc. (You can use oil or a little broth to help them stick)
Lay strips onto cookie sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes
Toss occasionally to ensure even crisping.
*If you want to blend the soup and return to pot for a more authentic Qdoba soup, now is the time. Once pureed you can add the black beans and jackfruit, and simmer through until warmed. About 15-20 minutes.
**If you wish to add more heat: Use 1 tsp of adobo sauce from chipotle pepper can until you reach desired heat.
When soup is finished, garnish with 1 small dollop of vegan sour cream, minced cilantro, small avocado slice, a few tortilla strips, and serve.
We love bowls! It’s one of our favorite go-to meals and makes for a quick dinner. Most times we just use various ingredients we have on hand. Be warned they are suuuuper filling! You can be super creative with your bowls or just keep them simple. The basic bowl is this: One part grain, vegetables, one part protein (we use beans, tofu, or tempeh), and top with some kind of sauce. In a pinch, I have used hummus that has been thinned out as a drizzle! Top with your choice of onions, herbs, nuts, or seeds.
1-cup brown organic basmati rice (any brown rice will do)
1-cup Pico de Gallo (store bought is easiest)
1-cup cashew queso, thinned (see recipe below)
Green onions, diced on bias (optional)
Cilantro, minced (optional)
Salt and pepper
Preheat oven to 400°.
Make rice. I add two cups of water to 2 cups of basmati rice to my Instapot and cook for 15 minutes. Otherwise, follow package directions. (You will have leftovers. You can freeze extra cooked rice in ziplock bag.)
Peel and dice squash into bite-size pieces. I use pre-diced store bought and cut larger pieces into 1” cubes. Wash potatoes and cut into 1” cubes leaving the skins on. Wash and slice red pepper into ¼” long slices. Peel and slice onion and in half, cut into ¼” slices. Add potatoes, squash, red pepper, and onions to a large mixing bowl. Add 1-2 Tbsp of olive oil and toss vegetables with salt and pepper to coat. Add vegetables to a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Bake, turning once, for 25-30 minutes, or until vegetables are fork tender.
While veggies are cooking, add one can of drained pinto beans to a small pot, add cumin, garlic powder, and salt. Add ¼ cup water, cover, and simmer until warmed through. Keep warm.
Make Cashew Queso:
1 ½ cup raw, unsalted cashews
8 oz of water
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1 chipotle chili pepper in adobo (or, cut in half if too spicy)
3 TBSP Nutritional Yeast (I use Bragg’s, but you can use any)
Add all of the ingredients to a high-speed blender. Blend until smooth. In my Vitamix it takes about 45 seconds on high speed, stopping once to scrape down the sides. ***It is very important that queso is completely smooth. Add more water 1 Tbsp at a time, if needed and continue to blend until smooth.
When vegetables are done remove from oven. Assemble Buddha bowls. Add up to 1-cup rice per bowl. Top bowls with the roasted vegetables, beans, Pico de Gallo, avocado, drizzle with cashew queso, and finish with cilantro and green onions, if using.
I will always be a vegan. Now that I know, what I know. I have seen the remarkable effects physically, mentally, and spiritually. Sounds dramatic, right? Well, it has been. In my early 40’s I was carrying around an autoimmune diagnosis, 40 pounds of extra weight, I was depressed and tired. Now, not quite 4 years later, my doctor still marvels at my annual blood-work. He is amazed that I am at my recommended body weight and not taking any medications. Amazed because the Mayo clinic estimates 7 out of 10 of us adults are taking some form of a prescription drug, with many of us taking 3 or more meds…and 75% of us are overweight and 40% of us are obese. Being sick and overweight has become the new norm. Therefore it’s not surprising that the US is ranked dead last in the “healthy’ category against 10 other wealthy countries in the world. How is that possible?
Well, imagine you are sitting at a table and you keep banging your leg against the chair so long and so hard that it becomes bruised and quite painful. Finally, someone comes along and says, “Hey, I’ve got a medication that will soothe your pain and another medication that can fix those nasty bruises.” So you take the pills, and sure enough, the pain goes away and your skin looks better, so you think you’re healed. But you’re still banging your leg on the chair, and now because the real problem has never been addressed, your original issue has become catastrophic. Yet nobody ever tells you, “Hey stop banging your leg on the table.” Doctors are taught to prescribe medications for a certain set of symptoms. They are not required to recommend nutritional interventions and, in fact, nutrition is not even a requirement in most medical schools. With the AMA only allowing doctors 15 minutes to spend per patient, it’s not long enough to talk about diet anyway, it’s just long enough to write a script. Because the truth is there is no money to be made if we are all well, only if we are sick.
Heart disease and diabetes are directly correlated to an excessive amount of animal protein consumption and are rarely related to genetics. But a good many people believe they are simply victims of their genes, doomed to a life of middle-age weight gain, cancer, heart disease and diabetes. And we are seeing a rise in colon cancer rates for the first time in people in their 20’s, a disease not normally seen until our 50’s. A recent study by the Pentagon revealed that 71% of young men between the ages of 17-24 (over 24 million) are ineligible to serve in the military because they are physically unfit. And I am sadder, yet, that we are rearing a generation of kids who are not predicted to live as long as their parents…all because of our food choices.
Truth is, four years ago, I never gave much thought to the likes of a cow, a chicken, or a pig. I only knew that they would eventually become food bought in a store. I never made a connection that those packs of chicken and ground beef were once living breathing animals. I didn’t know that they were purposely hidden away on Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations (CAFO’s), because if we actually saw what was happening to them we would be disgusted and appalled. I felt better buying cage-free eggs. Though more expensive, I figured cage-free was better because these chickens were allowed to run around in the sun. What I didn’t know was that baby chicks have their beaks cut off so they don’t peck other chicks in their cramped living quarters. And that cage-free really just means that tens of thousands of chickens are crammed in warehouses instead of cages, and where there is only 1 foot of space per chicken on average. Many of them sustain painful lesions and suffer from ammonia blisters due to sitting on unsanitary floors. A sad life indeed.
I also didn’t know that dairy cows were forced to stand in inches of their own excrement while getting milked 10 months out of a year until they are eventually turned into ground beef. I didn’t know that most E-coli outbreaks in lettuce and kale stemmed from a CAFO’s waste lagoon, or pools of poop, that pollute our fields, rivers, and streams. And worse, some of these CAFO’s can make the individuals living by them very, very sick. Don’t even get me started on Duplin County, North Carolina.
I have also learned that it takes a lot of money and resources for us to eat these animals. I didn’t know that lobbyists fought to have our tax dollars subsidize the meat and dairy industry. I didn’t know that it takes nearly 2,400 gallons of water just to grow just 1 pound of meat. I didn’t know that 800 million people could be fed with just the grain that livestock eat alone. And that much of that grain is produced here in the Midwest. It’s why they call Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Missouri, eastern Nebraska, and eastern Kansas the corn-belt because we grow corn for livestock. In fact, more than 90 million acres of grain is planted here just to feed livestock feed alone. It is also an area where cancer rates are on the rise and the levels of pesticide use are skyrocketing.
But that’s not the only thing…about 24% (some argue it’s more like 50%) of all global greenhouse gases come from our support of commercial agriculture. These warming gases are caused by things like livestock methane gas production, and deforestation, or the clear-cutting of trees in order to make room for more livestock. You’ve probably heard that the Amazon Jungle in South America in on fire. That is because they are a developing nation that is looking at places like the U.S. (land of the rich and plentiful) as an example. So now they are cutting down trees in record numbers because they have discovered the economic value in cattle production; those companies who own the factory farms are the fuel for the fire. And those who have long associated eating meat with affluence and prestige inadvertently fan their flames.
Plant-Based eating has never been shown to cause disease. In fact, it has actually been shown in some cases to halt and even reverse many diseases. It is a way of eating that supports our bodies ability to do its job naturally, without drug intervention. It is better for the animals and better for the planet. I am hopeful the tide is turning and more and more people are waking up, so to speak. I remain mindful that a few years ago, I didn’t know any of this either. And I am joyful at the prospect that others may follow their own journey because of myself, or countless others like me, that have inspired them to do so. Being a vegan is one of the greatest gifts this life has given me.
As a society, we are collectively bound by our traditions. And this Missouri girl is not naive to how deeply those traditions are woven into her Midwestern fabric. Missouri is a political bellwether state. And we are also known to smile and wave to complete strangers.
A person’s word and a firm handshake are still all we need to seal a deal. We look after each other and love to be outside! A cool fun fact is that we are the only state in the union that has all five terrestrial eco-systems. Yep, you can find it all here—deserts, swamps, mountains, grasslands, and forests.
We also hold steadfast to our traditions, and our bullheadedness has earned us the nickname “The Show-Me State.” Creatures of habit, we like things the way we like ’em, and change is not much welcomed here. That said, when change does happen, you can guarantee it’s as slow as a Bootheel drawl. Now, it’s not that we can’t change, but you’ve got to show us why we should! Particularly when it comes to what we eat.
Kansas City, my hometown, sits on the far western edge of the state, and has had a long history of determining what we eat. And what we eat…is meat. The cattle industry, a thriving industry for over 120 years, began in the west bottoms of KC in 1871 where the Livestock Exchange & Stockyards operated for 12 decades. In 1899, the National Hereford Show was founded as a cattle show in the Kansas City Stockyardsand was later renamed the “American Royal” after a 1901 editorial in a entitled, “Call It The American Royal.”It’s also why my city would eventually name their baseball team, The Kansas City Royals. Twice a year in October and November, The American Royal is host to livestock and horse shows, a rodeo and a barbecue competition, all of which are held in the former stockyards.
Though the stockyards closed in 1991, the meat industry in KC still reigns as King…the King of Barbeque. From the Atlantic to the Gulf coast, bordered by the western outposts of Texas, my hometown lies in the middle of an area of the United States called the “Barbeque Belt”, an area that houses four distinct barbecue traditions – Carolina, Texas, Memphis and Kansas City. BBQ is as ingrained in me as any Midwestern heritage could be. And when I decided to stop eating meat, BBQ was a difficult task to master. I missed the smoky flavor and the unmistakable smell of BBQ pulled pork. Until now…
This recipe has been modified several times, but it is one of the best recipes for making jackfruit. Simmered in a ranchero sauce of sorts, the jackfruit is then slowly roasted in a 400° oven for 40 minutes turn halfway through. The crispy jackfruit is then added back to a skillet and doused with bbq sauce. It’s truly heavenly and it satisfies my craving for all things BBQ.
BBQ JACKFRUIT SLIDERS
Ingredients for 12 servings
BBQ JACKFRUIT
20 oz young green jackfruit, 3 cans, in brine or water
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 ½ teaspoons chili powder
1 ½ teaspoons paprika
1 ½ teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 ¼ cups barbecue sauce
Buns (gluten-free, brioche, etc.)
Preheat oven to 400° Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Mix brown sugar and spices together in a bowl. I only used about three or 4 tablespoons of the seasoning. I had a bunch left over and I just put it in a jar for later use.
In a colander add drained jackfruit. I like to pull it apart and dispose of the large seeds. Once most of the water has been released, spread jackfruit out evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Toss with spices and mix well.
Bake for 40 minutes, or until the jackfruit is slightly browned and crispy.
Remove the jackfruit from the oven, and add to a medium-sized skillet over medium heat. Pour in BBQ sauce. Mix well. Taste for seasoning, adjust as necessary. Simmer for 2-3 minutes.
Ensure that buns are cut in half, add to a toaster oven for 2 to 3 minutes, or until interior is slightly crisp.
Spread the BBQ jackfruit on the buns, then top with any additional favorites (pickles, slaw, more sauce!).
Next week, I have been asked to speak to a group of middle school girls about body image and self-esteem. Lately, these buzzwords have gained momentum in our culture, a culture laden with false narratives and inaccuracies about value and self-worth. Many expert responses to this narrative, while encouraging, often lack depth and therefore do not resonate or connect with their intended audience. So I knew my words had to be carefully chosen, intentional, and authentic. In other words, they had to come from the experiences gleaned by traveling down a dark and winding road called self-actualization.
Self-image is simply the story we tell ourselves about who and what we are. Our stories define our self-esteem, (the manner in which we evaluate ourselves), and our self-worth, (the belief that we are loveable and valuable despite how we evaluate our traits). To make things more complicated our stories are usually co-written by those around us, people who may have the best intentions, but are likely struggling with their own confusing falsehoods. Add to the fact that human nature is inherently geared toward the negative for survival purposes, and it’s no wonder we are sometimes left feeling insecure and at odds with the world. All of these elements perpetuate the inaccuracies of our true selves; this leads us to internalize and criticize ourselves, generally culminating in some kind of unwanted behavior. In some, this may mean eating disorders, drug abuse, and in extreme cases, suicide.
So what is a girl to do? The first and most important step is to be present and not unconsciously respond to stimuli. Life is not about what happens to you, but how you respond to life. Being present allows us to analyze our behavior; it helps us assess our feelings and thoughts, and allows us to take a much-needed breath or two. Frankly, it is the most powerful tool in the box. The next step is to realize that we have a choice to rewrite the script. The words we choose to use, the ideas that we embrace about ourselves are ultimately up to us. We are not what others say we are unless WE choose to embrace it and believe it. We are no longer fighting saber tooth tigers; we are fighting against ambiguous texts, simulated fantasies on social media, and trying to adhere to the impossible task that we must be all things to all people.
What is my suggestion to these young girls? Instead of trying to be something…just be. Be your imperfectly perfect selves, work hard, be honorable, and stay humble. Don’t worry about being good or being right. In fact, don’t worry at all. Have faith and fear not, because fear will hold you hostage. Be brave and explore the paths less traveled. Do hard things. In fact, seek out things that make you afraid and uncomfortable and do them. Then you will begin to see what you’re truly made of. We are not confined to a future that has yet to be written. Our destiny and fate can change from moment to moment. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Because for better or worse, what you believe, you will achieve.
What an awesome day on Show Me St. Louis. Dana and Anthony were fantastic! Here is the Chili Cashew Queso recipe that I made on today’s show. The recipe is a variation of a Dana Schultz recipe from “The Minimalist Baker.” Love her, and love her recipes!
Just because you give up dairy doesn’t mean you have to give up cheese! Many things can make milk! You just need milk with higher fat content to make good rich cheese. Hence, cashews! I keep this cheese on hand all the time. I use it as a sauce for macaroni and cheese, and as a base for my famous black bean dip! But one of my favorite things to use it for is the base for a broccoli potato soup! Sometimes, I just shamelessly stand over the bowl and eat it until I’m about to burst. Loaded with protein and spices, this cheese sauce it my absolute favorite.
To heat or reheat microwave, covered, in 30-second bursts, whisking at each interval and thinning with water as needed. Or re-warm on the stovetop, whisking occasionally and thinning with water as needed.
Easy Chili Cashew Queso
1 ½ C. raw cashews
1 cup hot water
3 Tbsp nutritional yeast
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp cumin
Pinch chili powder (optional)
1 chipotle in adobo with a little sauce
Instructions:
To make the Queso, add all ingredients to a high -speed blender and blend until smooth. Stop to scrape down the sides at least once.
Feel free to substitute salsa, roasted jalapenos, or your favorite hot sauce in place of the chipotle pepper. The sauce is also really delicious with no heat!
This recipe is an adaptation of two recipes that each had something that I needed! “The New York Times version” had butternut squash, wine, and cheese, but it wasn’t vegan. The “Delicious Everyday” recipe had the ONIONS! But it didn’t have the butternut squash, white wine, or the cheese! Trust me on this. Also, it was her beautiful photograph that inspired me to make this fantastic dish! I have included the link to the cheese that I am making. If you have a Whole Foods nearby or are lucky enough to have access to Kite Hill or Miyoko’s Creamery cheeses at your local grocery, then, by all means, go for it!
Preheat a very large skillet over Medium-high heat; add 2 tablespoons butter (the other 2 Tbsp will be for the mushrooms). Add the squash in a single layer and cook, undisturbed, for 4 minutes. (If squash won’t fit in a single layer, cook it in batches). Stir and continue to cook until squash is golden, 7 to 10 minutes more. Stir in the syrup, thyme, paprika and 1/4 tsp salt; cook one minute. Scrape mixture into a bowl.
Place a large frying pan over a low to medium-low heat. Add the ½ Tbsp of olive oil followed by onion and reduce heat to low. Season with salt and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, for 15 to 20 minutes, until the onions are golden brown. Keep an eye on the onions to make sure they don’t burn.
Remove the onions from the pan and return the pan to the heat. Add the baby spinach and cook until wilted. Remove from the baby spinach from the pan and leave to cool.
Turn the heat down to medium and melt the remaining butter in the skillet. Stir in garlic, cook 1 minute. Add the mushrooms and ½ tsp salt. Cook until mushrooms are soft and their juices evaporate, about 10 minutes. Stir in the wine and cook until the mixture is dry, about 5 minutes. Stir in the pepper and parsley. Taste and add more salt if needed.
On a lightly floured surface, unwrap the puff pastry. Cut into 2 “5-by-15-inch” rectangles. Spread onions, mushrooms and spinach on each pastry rectangle, leaving 1/4-inch border. Spoon the cheese crumbles over the mushrooms. Spread the Dijon mustard over the mushrooms and season well with salt and pepper. Then spoon the squash over the cheese, leaving a 1 1/2-inch border (it will look like a stripe of squash lying on a bed of cheese and mushrooms).
Brush the exposed borders of dough on each rectangle with wash. Fold the long sides up to meet in the middle and pinch together to seal; pinch the ends, too. Transfer the pastries to the baking sheet and turn them over so that the seam is face down. Brush the tops with more wash. Bake until they are puffed, golden, and firm to the touch, about 30 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes, slice and serve.