Category: Psychology

Fitness, Health, Mindfulness, Psychology

Running the Path

Featuredby Stephanie BoschLeave a Comment on Running the Path
Running the Path

The other day, my neighbor came over for coffee. She seemed a bit down and told me she was thinking about running. She said she wanted to feel better about her body, and thought losing some weight might help her feel better about herself.

She had never run before and wanted to pick my brain.

I smiled and said, “Go put on some running shoes and run. Don’t overthink it. Just go. Don’t worry about how fast you are, how far you go, or how many times you stop to catch your breath. Just run.”

I remember when I couldn’t run a quarter mile without stopping. Now, I can run a full six miles without rest. And it didn’t happen because I downloaded the perfect training plan. I started simply—by putting one foot in front of the other.

But I also told her this: “It’s not the weight you lose from running that will change how you feel about yourself. Weight loss is an extrinsic motivator—and that’s the kind that makes people quit. Don’t run to be a size two. Run to be consistent. Dedicated. Persistent. That’s what will make you feel proud.”

Change your vernacular, and you can change your life.

Like yoga, running has become a form of moving meditation for me. It quiets my mind. I focus solely on my breath and let go of everything else. When I hit my stride, it’s like I could run forever. It’s the same feeling I get when I sink into a deep asana, like pigeon, and stay there for a while.

It’s the best feeling in the world.

Bad mood? Anxiety? Creative block? I run. Or I flow. And by the time I’m done, all is well again.

When I look back over the last year—hell, the last decade—I feel proud. I’ve accomplished things I never thought I could. I’ve gained and learned so much. I’ve lost things, too. I’ve watched certain dreams go up in smoke. But that’s life.

The “one foot in front of the other” mentality has served me well… until now.

Lately, I’ve felt fearful and uncertain about some big things. And the truth is, I’m not even sure why. My life hasn’t changed much. But maybe that’s exactly why.

The Buddha said, “There is no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires.”
I get it. I want more.

But thinking about the future sometimes paralyzes me. The Buddha also said, “Overthinking is the greatest cause of unhappiness.”

So maybe the answer is silence.
Maybe I’ll slow down and give silent meditation a try.
Or maybe I’ll just go for a longer run. 😊

Either way—Happy New Year, and Happy New Decade.

May you be abundantly blessed, and may you get back all that you give.
Seek out joy—it’s always there, waiting for you.
Find peace in any given moment.
Do the hard, scary things.
Grow abundantly.

Namaste.

Mindfulness, Psychology

The Road Less Traveled

Featuredby Stephanie BoschLeave a Comment on The Road Less Traveled
The Road Less Traveled

Next week, I have been asked to speak to a group of middle school girls about body image and self-esteem. Lately, these buzzwords have gained momentum in our culture, a culture laden with false narratives and inaccuracies about value and self-worth. Many expert responses to this narrative, while encouraging, often lack depth and therefore do not resonate or connect with their intended audience. So I knew my words had to be carefully chosen, intentional, and authentic. In other words, they had to come from the experiences gleaned by traveling down a dark and winding road called self-actualization.

Self-image is simply the story we tell ourselves about who and what we are.  Our stories define our self-esteem, (the manner in which we evaluate ourselves), and our self-worth, (the belief that we are loveable and valuable despite how we evaluate our traits). To make things more complicated our stories are usually co-written by those around us, people who may have the best intentions, but are likely struggling with their own confusing falsehoods.  Add to the fact that human nature is inherently geared toward the negative for survival purposes, and it’s no wonder we are sometimes left feeling insecure and at odds with the world.  All of these elements perpetuate the inaccuracies of our true selves; this leads us to internalize and criticize ourselves, generally culminating in some kind of unwanted behavior.   In some, this may mean eating disorders, drug abuse, and in extreme cases, suicide.

So what is a girl to do?   The first and most important step is to be present and not unconsciously respond to stimuli.  Life is not about what happens to you, but how you respond to life.   Being present allows us to analyze our behavior; it helps us assess our feelings and thoughts, and allows us to take a much-needed breath or two.  Frankly, it is the most powerful tool in the box.  The next step is to realize that we have a choice to rewrite the script.   The words we choose to use, the ideas that we embrace about ourselves are ultimately up to us.   We are not what others say we are unless WE choose to embrace it and believe it.  We are no longer fighting saber tooth tigers; we are fighting against ambiguous texts, simulated fantasies on social media, and trying to adhere to the impossible task that we must be all things to all people.  

What is my suggestion to these young girls? Instead of trying to be something…just be. Be your imperfectly perfect selves, work hard, be honorable, and stay humble. Don’t worry about being good or being right. In fact, don’t worry at all. Have faith and fear not, because fear will hold you hostage. Be brave and explore the paths less traveled. Do hard things. In fact, seek out things that make you afraid and uncomfortable and do them. Then you will begin to see what you’re truly made of. We are not confined to a future that has yet to be written. Our destiny and fate can change from moment to moment. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Because for better or worse, what you believe, you will achieve.